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00:00:00Have you ever looked around at the limitless majesty of creation and wondered, wondered
00:00:21what all these forests, valleys, mountains and puddles are actually for? Wondered how
00:00:27many buildings were knocked down to make way for them and who granted the planning permission?
00:00:32Wondered about all the incredible yet musky animals we share our planet with. What's up
00:00:37with them? From pointless ants to long-necked horse monsters, from repugnant wombats to
00:00:44beautiful elephants. What do the creatures want and why do they refuse to tell us? And
00:00:52then of course, there's us. Humanikkind. Have you ever wondered how we got here? Wondered
00:00:58where we're going? Wondered about the biggest mystery of all? What is the meaning of life?
00:01:04Well, I haven't. But others have. For thousands of years, thinkers, artists, authors and my
00:01:11Aunt Carol have struggled to define humankind's purpose. Is life's meaning a riddle that even
00:01:17can be answered? And if so, should we listen? Or cover our ears to avoid spoilers?
00:01:23In this landmark documentary special, I'll travel the globe to walk in slow motion through picturesque
00:01:29locations, get up close to some of the most significant molecules in existence, and meet
00:01:35a variety of academics, experts and professional mammals to ask some of the most significant questions
00:01:41you can say with a mouth. Hello, who are you? I'm Brian Cox, Professor of Particle Physics
00:01:46at the University of Manchester. Can I call you Brian, or do you prefer Cox? So join me,
00:01:51Philomena Conk, as I uncover the point of it all. This is Conk On Life!
00:01:57Welcome to our universe. A limitless expanse peppered with stars, planets and assorted space
00:02:20muck. It's where you live. In fact, you're somewhere in this photo. But we don't know where,
00:02:28because the universe is so vast, we simply can't make you out, even with your ears.
00:02:37Gazing into this infinite tapestry makes us ask questions, not just about where the ceiling's gone,
00:02:44but deep questions that strike at the very core of our arseholes. Questions like, how did it get here?
00:02:57Who are you? I'm Douglas Headley, and I teach the philosophy of religion at the University of Cambridge.
00:03:03So, why are we here? You mean why human beings exist? No, I mean, why are we here in, in,
00:03:12is this near your house or something? No. Took me 90 minutes to get here on the Piccadilly line.
00:03:20There are countless theories about how the universe got here,
00:03:24and the earliest one comes from the wacky world of religion.
00:03:28This is the good Old Testament, the first entry in the Christian cinematic universe.
00:03:34Jesus isn't in this one. It's mainly about his bad-tempered dad, a man so mysterious,
00:03:39we still only know him by his stage name, God. I'm going to go straight in at the deep end.
00:03:46Is there a God? Yes. Oh, that was quick.
00:03:52Great. Has anyone proved it? No, except to their own satisfaction.
00:03:59Does God have a brother called Simon? No. But they can't prove that either,
00:04:05so he might have. The universe could have been created by Simon. The Old Testament claims God,
00:04:12and or Simon, created our universe in just seven days. It sounds like a lot to achieve in such a
00:04:18short space of time. But unlike us, God wasn't constantly interrupted by iPhone notifications.
00:04:24God started by saying, let there be light, which makes sense because he needed to be able to see
00:04:30what he was doing. Then he divided light from dark, like I do when I'm doing a clothes wash.
00:04:36Next, he created the firmament, whatever that is, and the oceans and the stars. For his next trick,
00:04:42God filled the oceans with water animals, or fish as they're sometimes known, and the heavens with sky
00:04:48beasts or birds. Then he infested the earth with insects, reptiles, mammals, and whatever category
00:04:55of things slugs are. And finally, for his croning achievement, he created perhaps the only thing
00:05:01worth celebrating. Us. Here on the planet of Italy is the Sistine Chapel. Inside it is an astonishing
00:05:11collection of images created by overachieving painter decorator, Michael A.N. Jello. This artwork
00:05:19took him four years to complete, ruining a perfectly good ceiling in the process. But whatever you think
00:05:26of it, what it depicts is momentous. The moment God created life by jizzing us out of his hands.
00:05:34This image of the most significant finger-banging history has inspired visitors to the Sistine Chapel
00:05:39for many centuries and visitors to this replica for less time than that. It's perhaps the greatest
00:05:47masterpiece in all of art, but also the most annoying to look at. When I gaze up at it,
00:05:52I'm struck by a sense of wonder, but mainly by a crick in my neck. When Michelangelo painted the Sistine
00:06:00Chapel, did he start on the floor and then they flipped the building over, or was it always on the ceiling?
00:06:06The painting was always on the ceiling. It's quite high up, isn't it? Did Michelangelo use a really long brush,
00:06:14or did he have really long arms? Um, well, he had to stand up on top of some scaffolding and bend his head
00:06:22backwards. Wouldn't paint drip down into his eyes when he was doing it? I bet he was blinking the whole time,
00:06:27sort of like, like that. He doesn't complain about that, but he must have done. However he did it,
00:06:33painting the Sistine Chapel must have been a great upper body workout. How strong were Michelangelo's
00:06:39arms? Like, if a mad priest had leapt on his back while he was painting it, would he have been able to
00:06:45reach round and pull him off? Oh yeah, I think so. I think Michelangelo was quite muscular. He must have been.
00:06:52Hmm, so he could really yank him off. I think he could have done, yeah. The man God's creating here is
00:06:59called Adam. He's one half of the first celebrity couple Adam and Eve, played here by actors who
00:07:05happily signed a nudity waiver. Of course the real Adam and Eve wouldn't have had tattoos, would have to
00:07:10paint over or intimate piercings. We'd have to ask them to take out and hand to our researcher for
00:07:16safekeeping. We've pixelated the offensive parts of their bodies, a technology that wasn't available
00:07:21in Old Testament times, which is why I can see everything, even though I don't really want to.
00:07:28Adam and Eve weren't just the first humans to exist, but the first humans to disappoint their dad.
00:07:34God had hidden the secret of knowledge inside a delicious looking fruit and then forbidden them to
00:07:39eat it for some fucking reason. But eat it they did. An early example of an apple product hastening the
00:07:45downfall of humankind. This was the original sin and ever since all humans have been considered sinful.
00:08:00Sinners worry God might punish them, but what about you?
00:08:03Well, I'm a sinner like anybody else. No, I mean, should they worry about you punishing them?
00:08:17Uh, no.
00:08:21God realised he needed help keeping us sinful humans in check and he knew just who to call on.
00:08:27This is Holy Moses, the most successful influencer of Old Testament times, very much the Mr Beast of his day.
00:08:35One day God invited Moses to the top of Mount Sinai and handed him a set of rules for life carved on stone
00:08:41tablets. It was the world's first and heaviest press release. God commanded Moses to spread this message
00:08:47far and wide, which must have been annoying for Moses because he'd have to carry the tablets back down on
00:08:52foot and probably didn't have room in his rucksack. How many Ten Commandments were there?
00:08:58How many? You just named them ten. So there were ten Ten Commandments?
00:09:04There weren't a hundred Commandments. There were ten Commandments.
00:09:07There were ten Commandments? Yes. That's it.
00:09:11These shalts and shalt-nots are a set of terms and conditions for humankind.
00:09:16All Christians had to agree to abide by them and also accept occasional promotional messages from God
00:09:22on subjects that may interest them. How did God manage to boil his terms and conditions down to just
00:09:28ten points when the iPhone End User Licence Agreement is about a hundred pages long?
00:09:33Well, it just proves the point that God is God and so he's a lot more concise than we are.
00:09:38Is it a legally binding contract?
00:09:40It is a covenant, which is a covenant of love between God and God's people.
00:09:45No, I meant the iPhone one.
00:09:48In a bid to stay in God's good books, devout followers avoid sinful pleasures,
00:09:53like lusting after sloths, during their lifetimes.
00:10:01Not everyone thinks enjoying yourself is bad. Some people dedicate their lives to hedonism,
00:10:05the sleaziest ism there is, apart from jism.
00:10:09Not all.
00:10:10Not everyone.
00:10:11Entire cities have been built for hedonist pursuits. Impressive opulent cities like Swansea and Wales,
00:10:18and also this place.
00:10:20This is Las Vegas. Spanish for the Vegas.
00:10:25With its culture of casinos, strip clubs and round-the-clock drinking,
00:10:29it's a mecca for people who aren't going to mecca.
00:10:32Vegas is a shimmering visual metaphor for human indulgence,
00:10:36according to our director,
00:10:38and too far away and expensive for us to film in,
00:10:40according to our producer, who lost the argument.
00:10:46Given its reputation, Las Vegas is also known as Sin City,
00:10:50which is short for Cincinnati,
00:10:52or would be if that wasn't a different place altogether.
00:10:56Many of the tourists who flock here each year
00:10:59hope that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
00:11:03Maybe that's true, but on the other hand, God sees everything.
00:11:07Even that thing my ex Sean used to do with his thumb.
00:11:10Worse still, God doesn't just know about the sinful things you've done.
00:11:14He also knows about the sinful things you're merely thinking of doing.
00:11:19God knows everything we're thinking.
00:11:21That's a data privacy nightmare, isn't it?
00:11:24Is there a way to opt out?
00:11:26Not that I'm aware of.
00:11:28Could you put God off the scent by only thinking decoy thoughts,
00:11:33like only thinking the opposite of what you actually think?
00:11:36Would that work?
00:11:37I don't think so.
00:11:40No.
00:11:41Because you're not just dealing with a God who is omniscient, knows everything.
00:11:44You're also dealing with a God who is omnipotent, is all-powerful.
00:11:48I'll be honest, this relationship with God throws up a lot of red flags.
00:11:52He's watching us all the time.
00:11:55He sets rules.
00:11:56He's got a terrible temper.
00:11:58He even thinks he's God.
00:12:00Isn't he basically just a toxic narcissist?
00:12:04If you follow God's rules religiously, you'll ascend to the kingdom of heaven,
00:12:08which sounds great, although if you're old when you die,
00:12:12you might not want to be going up a lot of stairs.
00:12:14In heaven, nobody has to work anymore.
00:12:19The most that will be asked of you is doing the washing up.
00:12:21But since all earthly appetites will have been sated,
00:12:24we can only be talking about the odd mug.
00:12:27The alternative to heaven is hell,
00:12:30a fiery pit of damnation and eternal torment,
00:12:33which currently only has two stars on TripAdvisor.
00:12:36This is quite a spiritual show.
00:12:39Can I ask about our souls?
00:12:41Do we get judged for the cleanliness of our souls when we get to heaven?
00:12:46I think we get judged by how we've acted in the world.
00:12:50When we look into our souls, what do we find there?
00:12:55Well, it depends on how far we're prepared to look into it.
00:12:58How far you look up, yeah.
00:13:02God's unforgiving nature means his believers try to stay in his good books
00:13:06through a form of organised grovelling called worship.
00:13:11Enter our souls, King of heaven,
00:13:19even though they we not see.
00:13:25Enter our souls resolutely,
00:13:30penetrate the depths within.
00:13:34Many find praising God in this way gives them a purpose in life,
00:13:52sucking up to the boss.
00:13:54If God's up there looking down on us,
00:13:57why do we kneel when we pray?
00:14:00Kneeling is the expression of a sense of awe and holiness.
00:14:06Yeah, but what's the point in kneeling, though, or bent over?
00:14:09You know, it's terrible acoustics.
00:14:11Wouldn't it be better to stand up and shout a list of demands up to the sky?
00:14:15God is not in the sky, literally.
00:14:17Right. So where is he? Has he got an address?
00:14:21God is present in all places and all times.
00:14:29What, even like in cupboards?
00:14:31Well, you've raised a very important question here,
00:14:35because one way of thinking about the divine presence
00:14:43is in terms of his knowledge.
00:14:47So maybe God is not located in the cupboard,
00:14:51but he knows about the state of affairs in the cupboards.
00:14:56Sorry, is he in a cupboard or not?
00:14:58Not everyone believes God is solely responsible for giving us life.
00:15:03Other origin stories are available.
00:15:07The man slowly moving towards you
00:15:09is unshaven Victorian genius Charles Darwin.
00:15:12One day Darwin rode a beagle to the Galapagos Islands,
00:15:15where an exotic tortoise gave him an idea in the form of a theory.
00:15:19A theory that human bodies haven't always been human bodies.
00:15:24Why do we say our ancestors came in apes?
00:15:29Our ancestors came...
00:15:31In apes.
00:15:32Ah.
00:15:33They didn't come from apes.
00:15:35Apes and ourselves came from something else.
00:15:39A chimp.
00:15:40Sort of, you know, it's not exactly like a chimp
00:15:43or a modern ape or ourselves.
00:15:45Right. So we didn't come in and chimp?
00:15:47No.
00:15:49It's hard to believe we all mutated from monkey meat
00:15:52unless you consider all life is basically the same
00:15:55at a microscopic level.
00:15:56Lots of things are alive,
00:15:58from tiny microbes to bigger microbes.
00:16:01Every life form is made of cells, like a prison,
00:16:06which is probably why existence is so depressing.
00:16:09It's a life sentence,
00:16:10just like the sentences I say in this programme about life.
00:16:13Are cells worth having?
00:16:17Well, without cells, we wouldn't be.
00:16:20We're made up of trillions of cells.
00:16:22We all came from a single cell.
00:16:24So they're really important to us.
00:16:26Are my cells dividing and multiplying all the time,
00:16:30like even when I'm sitting here now?
00:16:32Since you've been sat there,
00:16:33they've probably, you've had about a million cell divisions
00:16:36going on in your body.
00:16:37Ah, no wonder I feel so worn out all the time.
00:16:41Cells couldn't multiply without this,
00:16:43the IKEA instruction manual for life, DNA.
00:16:46DNA is tiny yet complex, like Tom Cruise.
00:16:51It would take a typist over 50 years to type out the DNA sequence,
00:16:55which would be stupid,
00:16:56because she could just cut and paste it and go home.
00:16:59I call her she because of unconscious bias,
00:17:01which is in my DNA and not my fault.
00:17:04Have you heard of DNA?
00:17:07Yes.
00:17:08Do we all have DNA?
00:17:11Or do some of us have D or A, but not both?
00:17:15No, it's not D and A.
00:17:17It's three letters, D-N-A.
00:17:20Can you tell by looking at me whether I have DNA?
00:17:24Well, I know you have DNA,
00:17:25because you're a living organism and all life has DNA.
00:17:29My mate Paul tried to create a new life form
00:17:32by inserting his DNA into a grapefruit,
00:17:35but halfway through the experiment,
00:17:37the greengross has started hitting him.
00:17:39Why is science so controversial?
00:17:44Sorry, that question didn't follow from your story of the DNA.
00:17:49No, it changed, yeah.
00:17:51One of life's biggest mysteries
00:17:53is how it's possible for me to look both like my mother
00:17:56and my father at the same time,
00:18:02even though I've only got one face.
00:18:04Is it true the most important thing we can do as humans
00:18:07is piss in our genes?
00:18:10Pass on our genes.
00:18:12Sorry?
00:18:13Sorry, it's pass on our genes.
00:18:15Oh, right.
00:18:16Is it true the most important thing we can do as a human
00:18:21is pass on our genes?
00:18:26Well, I don't know if it's the most important thing,
00:18:28but it is very important,
00:18:30because what it means is
00:18:31that you pass on your genes from you to your child.
00:18:36What if I don't want to pass on any of mine?
00:18:39Then you don't have to.
00:18:41Right.
00:18:41How can I avoid it?
00:18:42Well, um, you have to make love.
00:18:47What, to avoid passing on my genes?
00:18:52All living things reproduce,
00:18:54which means all living things procreate.
00:18:57Dogs, lions, pigs, penguins, monkeys, shell monsters,
00:19:02elephants, horses, David and Victoria Beckham, and pigs again.
00:19:05The female reproductive organs
00:19:08are largely hidden indoors for safekeeping
00:19:10and are normally only visible behind some kind of paywall.
00:19:14By contrast, the male genitals, or Mr. Genitals,
00:19:17live on the outside of the body,
00:19:19where they can be easily photographed and DM'd
00:19:22to a potential mate without consent.
00:19:24So, which bit's the penis?
00:19:27So, the penis is over here.
00:19:28It's this bit here.
00:19:29Right.
00:19:30I'll talk quietly.
00:19:31I don't want to waste it.
00:19:32This is a flaccid penis,
00:19:34so for sexual intercourse, it has to become erect.
00:19:38So, what happens then?
00:19:39What bit goes where?
00:19:41So, this penis needs to become erect,
00:19:44and then it will be put into the vagina here during intercourse,
00:19:48and he's going to ejaculate sperm through his penis
00:19:51and then into the woman's vagina.
00:19:54Christ.
00:19:55I hope nothing like that ever happens to me.
00:19:58The disappointingly flavoured soup that vomits from the penis
00:20:02contains millions of plucky young tadpoles
00:20:04which swim their way up through the female pipework towards an egg
00:20:08and then kamikaze into it like a tiny 9-11 happening up a lady.
00:20:13This is where, incredibly, the miracle of life begins
00:20:17and the precise moment that a woman's right to choose ends.
00:20:22Nine months after conception,
00:20:25the infant painlessly slides through the lady's front hole
00:20:28and out into the world.
00:20:30It then slowly mutates from a baby into an actual human being.
00:20:35But what exactly is a human being?
00:20:39What percentage of people have a human body?
00:20:42All humans have a human body.
00:20:45What about people holding a cat?
00:20:47Have they got a human body and a cat's body?
00:20:50Or does it not work that way?
00:20:52No, the two are completely separate.
00:20:54The human is a human and the cat is a cat.
00:20:58Human biology has existed almost as long as humans themselves,
00:21:02if not longer.
00:21:04It involves a complex arrangement of skin and meat machines
00:21:07called organs.
00:21:09Put these organs in a plastic bag
00:21:11and walk around a shoe shop with them
00:21:13and you'd be arrested.
00:21:14But put them in the right order
00:21:16and you've got a human body,
00:21:18an exquisitely constructed machine
00:21:20that also farts on its crisps.
00:21:23Our organs are so gory,
00:21:25some people can't bear to see images like this.
00:21:28If you're one of those sensitive viewers,
00:21:29look away five seconds ago.
00:21:32Is the correct term for all this
00:21:34awful or gore?
00:21:37All this stuff.
00:21:38That is, this is called the intestine.
00:21:41If you pulled an intestine out,
00:21:43how long would it be?
00:21:44It would be many metres.
00:21:46Okay, but why are you pulling it out?
00:21:49We wouldn't normally pull it out
00:21:50unless there was a disease process.
00:21:52Right, so you don't know why it's happening?
00:21:54No.
00:21:55All these slimy innards need a surrounding structure
00:21:58to stop them slopping onto the floor
00:21:59for passersby to slip on.
00:22:01We wouldn't be upstanding citizens
00:22:03if it wasn't for this,
00:22:05the human skeleton of ghost train fame.
00:22:07It's incredible to think that there's one of these
00:22:10inside some of us.
00:22:13Did you know only 40% of people have skeletons?
00:22:18Where did you get this figure from?
00:22:20It's true.
00:22:20I saw a video about it.
00:22:22You only find out if you've got a skeleton after you die.
00:22:25Some people are just solid meat.
00:22:27This is...
00:22:27You know Burt Lancaster, the actor?
00:22:30He was solid meat, apparently, like a sausage.
00:22:32Every human being has a skeleton.
00:22:36That figure is 100%.
00:22:38Did you know knees are a con?
00:22:41Why do you say that?
00:22:42Apparently, if you walk everywhere without bending your legs,
00:22:44you can prolong your life by about eight years.
00:22:46I went running this morning.
00:22:49How would I run without bending my knees?
00:22:51I'm not saying you didn't bend your knees.
00:22:53I'm just saying that if you didn't bend your knees,
00:22:57you could prolong your life by eight years.
00:23:00Although it does make stairs a problem.
00:23:02I'll grant you that.
00:23:03The most important bit of the human body is up here,
00:23:06in the driver's compartment or skull.
00:23:10Imprisoned within every skull is a creature we've enslaved
00:23:13to do our thinking for us.
00:23:15A sort of smart cauliflower known as the brain.
00:23:19So, this is a brain.
00:23:21This is a brain.
00:23:22How many of these are in an average head?
00:23:25We have one each.
00:23:27Just the one?
00:23:27Just the one brain.
00:23:29The brain doesn't just tackle complex tasks
00:23:32like blinking or making porridge.
00:23:35It also handles trivial things
00:23:37like our entire human consciousness,
00:23:39the origins of which are a complete mystery.
00:23:44Does the brain generate the consciousness
00:23:47or does the consciousness operate the brain?
00:23:50You'll find lots of disagreement about this.
00:23:53Oh, I'm sorry.
00:23:53And I'm supposed to remind you to keep your answer.
00:23:56Is that coherent for our fuck-witted viewers?
00:23:59It is a complicated question.
00:24:01My view is that the brain generates consciousness,
00:24:06but consciousness gives us the ability to do things
00:24:08that we wouldn't be able to do if we weren't conscious.
00:24:12And apparently I wasn't supposed to read that card aloud,
00:24:17so apologies to you at home.
00:24:20All of this leads to a fundamental human question.
00:24:25Who am I?
00:24:27Not me, obviously.
00:24:28I'm on the telly, so people know who I am.
00:24:31But who are you?
00:24:32What are you doing here?
00:24:33Is any of this really happening?
00:24:36When we have a thought, like, if I picture a windmill,
00:24:41how real is that windmill?
00:24:44It's not real.
00:24:45It's not real?
00:24:46It's in your mind.
00:24:48Why did I picture a windmill, though?
00:24:50Is it a clue?
00:24:51A clue to...
00:24:52Something.
00:24:53I don't know.
00:24:54Depends what you are thinking about.
00:24:56What's inside the windmill?
00:24:58Depends what you are thinking about.
00:25:01What if someone lives inside the windmill
00:25:05and I'm not imagining them, they're imagining me?
00:25:10This is a very unusual way to think about how imagination works.
00:25:15Imagination is a side effect of having a mind,
00:25:19and some believe it can be enhanced
00:25:21with the use of mind-expanding drugs.
00:25:25When hippies took mind-expanding drugs,
00:25:28how much wider did their minds get?
00:25:31Did their skulls ever pop open?
00:25:33Their skulls didn't pop open,
00:25:34but it meant that they were more open to ideas and philosophies
00:25:38and concepts they may not have previously considered.
00:25:42You know, when people talk about opening their third eye,
00:25:46that's what my mate Paul calls the hole in the end of his penis.
00:25:51Why would anyone want to widen that?
00:25:54The use of psychopathic drugs in the 1960s
00:25:57also led popular figures to contemplate
00:25:59more spiritual aspects to human existence.
00:26:02When the Beatles dropped acid and went to India,
00:26:06did they actually go, or was that part of the trip?
00:26:09No, they did actually go to India,
00:26:12and they visited an ashram,
00:26:14and they visited gurus while they were out there.
00:26:16It changed the stuff they said, didn't it?
00:26:18They said, all you need is love,
00:26:21and then George Harrison said, all things must pass.
00:26:24Those were spiritual messages, weren't they?
00:26:27So, when Paul said he was simply having a wonderful Christmas time,
00:26:32was there a deeper meaning there?
00:26:34I don't know, there was a deeper message there,
00:26:37and that was a bit later that Paul was having a wonderful Christmas time.
00:26:40Yeah, my ex, Sean, sang that to me in bed once during an intimate moment.
00:26:46Honestly, I went as dry as a cat's tongue.
00:26:49Rock stars also popularise meditation
00:26:52as a way to clear the stresses of modern life from the mind.
00:26:56Do you have to sit down to meditate,
00:26:59or could I do it at the same time as something else,
00:27:01like driving or operating heavy machinery?
00:27:05Some people do, some Buddhists, for example,
00:27:08do walking meditation, so you don't have to sit down.
00:27:11Does meditation help our souls relax?
00:27:15Yes.
00:27:16Meditation does help our souls relax.
00:27:18Yes.
00:27:18Yeah.
00:27:20Let's take a moment to realign ourselves with our present reality, together.
00:27:25We're going to do a guided meditation now,
00:27:27so feel free to join in at home.
00:27:30Close your eyes.
00:27:32Slow your breathing.
00:27:34Now, breathe in.
00:27:36Sorry, breathe out.
00:27:51Become aware of the rise and fall of your belly.
00:27:55Feel the fabric of your clothes on your skin.
00:27:58Why is it that particular material?
00:28:01Was it sewn together by a child in a sweatshop?
00:28:04Probably best not to think about that, actually.
00:28:08Listen to my voice.
00:28:10Why have they put a sort of echo effect on it?
00:28:13I think it's so that when they show this footage of me,
00:28:15it sounds like these are my thoughts echoing in my mind.
00:28:18What did we film that weeks ago?
00:28:20Hang on, where am I now?
00:28:22Hang on, that's me waking up and standing.
00:28:25That's not meant to happen.
00:28:26Help!
00:28:27I'm still here!
00:28:29Oh, God, I've got separated from my own body.
00:28:31They said this might happen.
00:28:32Help!
00:28:32Help!
00:28:40Well, our apologies for that.
00:28:42We had a duplicate consciousness stuck on the voiceover track,
00:28:45so we've had it shot and can shortly rejoin
00:28:48Kunk on Life.
00:28:50Who's that walking through an awesome landscape recording a piece to camera?
00:28:55It's your very own Philomena Kunk!
00:28:57Featuring a vaguely realistic face, similar clothing,
00:29:00and a total lack of mannerisms.
00:29:01But that's not all.
00:29:02Philomena also sprouts facial hair,
00:29:04witnesses the crucifixion,
00:29:05and lays eggs.
00:29:07Pop off her head, tip her over,
00:29:08and whoops-a-daisy, real blood!
00:29:10And the fun doesn't end with mopping that up.
00:29:11Philomena pilots her very own spacecraft,
00:29:14the USS Triceratops, with her intergalactic friends,
00:29:16Captain Shit Peas,
00:29:17Mrs. Benson,
00:29:18and Barnaby 9.
00:29:20Together, they tore the galaxy repairing black holes and mutilating cattle.
00:29:23Philomena Kunk and Pals,
00:29:25available from all good retailers.
00:29:27May contain fine-notts.
00:29:27Side effects include spontaneous combustion and melancholy.
00:29:29Terms and conditions available on our website.
00:29:30Do not feed after midnight.
00:29:30Remember to hydrate forever and ever.
00:29:31Amen.
00:29:32Coming up on ConCon Life,
00:29:38meet a man facing oblivion on death row.
00:29:41I ask a philosopher to probe our souls.
00:29:44Do philosophers spend a lot of time thinking about our souls?
00:29:50And I visit the Large Hadron Collider for some astro chat
00:29:53with Professor Brian Cox.
00:29:56What's a black hole?
00:29:58A black hole?
00:29:59Sorry, a hole of colour.
00:30:00But first, let's take a sideways look
00:30:04at the suffocating inevitability of death.
00:30:10Death is the great leveller.
00:30:13In life, you might have been a billionaire supermodel,
00:30:16president and king.
00:30:17But the moment you die,
00:30:18you start rotting like a sausage in a lay-by.
00:30:23The big unknown is how you'll die.
00:30:26You might die falling off a ladder or a cliff
00:30:28or into a lake full of knives
00:30:30and could be hit by a car or a bus
00:30:33or a tractor if you're rustic.
00:30:35Maybe you're already dead and watching this
00:30:37from beyond the grave,
00:30:38which would be a shame
00:30:39because you won't count towards the ratings.
00:30:42Statistically, which is more common,
00:30:44athlete's foot or death?
00:30:46Death is infinitely more common.
00:30:49In fact, it is guaranteed for all of us.
00:30:51How soon after death is it safe to resume
00:30:54your regular day-to-day activities?
00:30:57You can't resume your day-to-day activities
00:31:00once you're dead.
00:31:02How would you?
00:31:03So you can't do anything?
00:31:04You can't even listen to a podcast?
00:31:06You can't listen to anything.
00:31:08If you played a podcast to a corpse,
00:31:11would really none of it go in?
00:31:14Absolutely nothing would go in.
00:31:15One downside of our big brains
00:31:18is we're the only creatures
00:31:20who are aware that death is inevitable.
00:31:22Although if you line 10 dogs in a row
00:31:24and shot them one by one,
00:31:26the dog on the end would probably get the gist
00:31:28by about dog four.
00:31:30Of course, it's easy to forget about death
00:31:32until it happens to you,
00:31:34at which point your brain gets wiped anyway.
00:31:36It wasn't like that in medieval times.
00:31:38Back then, thanks to plagues, wars
00:31:40and a general undercurrent of violence,
00:31:42people were casually familiar with death.
00:31:44In fact, they got FOMO when they didn't die.
00:31:48And this matey relationship with their own mortality
00:31:51was reflected up their art.
00:31:55This is Bruegel's triumph of death,
00:31:57which depicts an army of the undead
00:31:59violently laying waste to humankind
00:32:02in scenes unlikely to be adapted into a Pixar movie.
00:32:07It's terrifying to think that this actually happened.
00:32:10We're lucky Bruegel managed to capture this image
00:32:12before he too was captured by the skeletons.
00:32:15In fact, I'm surprised he could paint at all.
00:32:18My hands would have been shaking so much
00:32:20I'd have had my own eye out with a brush.
00:32:24What the fuck is this?
00:32:26Well, it's a scene of imagination.
00:32:32But it's not a scene that Bruegel would have actually witnessed.
00:32:38I mean, but it could happen, couldn't it?
00:32:42No, it couldn't happen.
00:32:44Misinformation is getting so sophisticated, it's terrifying.
00:32:49For years, morbid art like this depicted an ominous figure
00:32:53dispatching human souls with a scythe.
00:32:56That's this man, the Grim Reaper.
00:32:59Don't worry, I haven't gone mad.
00:33:00It only looks like there's no one there.
00:33:02In fact, you won't be able to see the Grim Reaper at home
00:33:05unless you're going to die within the next 24 hours.
00:33:08What happens after death is the subject of huge debate.
00:33:13Some think that after you die, you evolve into a ghost,
00:33:16a sort of low-tech hologram made of haunted smoke.
00:33:19Scientists say ghosts don't exist,
00:33:22even though they've been caught on camera loads of times,
00:33:24like in Poltergeist and Poltergeist 2
00:33:27and the remake of Poltergeist.
00:33:29In fact, ghosts have been caught on camera
00:33:32more often than scientists have.
00:33:34So who's real now?
00:33:35Shall we move on to more hardcore scientific stuff?
00:33:41OK, so ghosts.
00:33:44When a human body dies,
00:33:46which hole does the ghost come out of, north or south?
00:33:52I don't regard ghosts as a hard scientific subject, I'm afraid.
00:33:58Let me tell you something.
00:33:59Don't dismiss it.
00:34:00In 2021, my Aunt Carol got engaged to a man called Bob Collins.
00:34:06But one day, he just vanished and cleared out a bank account.
00:34:12And when she looked up the name Bob Collins,
00:34:15she discovered he'd died in 1958.
00:34:18He'd been a ghost all along.
00:34:21Could it not just have been someone impersonating Bob Collins?
00:34:24No, no, there were photos of Bob Collins in 1958
00:34:27and he looked totally different,
00:34:29which proves he'd disguised himself
00:34:32so she wouldn't know he was a ghost.
00:34:34You can't explain it, can you?
00:34:36It's terrifying.
00:34:37Isn't the easy answer that he doesn't look like him
00:34:39because it's a different person altogether?
00:34:44No.
00:34:44It's a ghost.
00:34:51Death, tragedy and suffering have always been part of human life.
00:34:55Struggling with lives of ceaseless misery,
00:34:57people began to wonder whether any kind of God exists at all.
00:35:02But for centuries, no one dared voice that suspicion
00:35:05in case God did exist and smited them shitless.
00:35:08But that was about to change.
00:35:12It's 1883 and German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche
00:35:16is hard at work in his study,
00:35:19putting his thoughts on paper.
00:35:22Don't worry, he can't hear me.
00:35:25He's about to write one of the most controversial...
00:35:27He's about to write one of the most controversial catchphrases in history.
00:35:38Three little words by the name of God is dead.
00:35:44Nietzsche said God is dead, didn't he?
00:35:46And now he's dead himself.
00:35:49Who's next?
00:35:50Did he name the killer before he died?
00:35:53Nietzsche.
00:35:54No.
00:35:55I think he thought that...
00:35:57people should realise that they had constructed a God
00:36:02that actually wasn't doing them as much good as they thought
00:36:06and people need to realise
00:36:08not perhaps that he was dead, but that he hadn't existed.
00:36:12So he's saying that we killed him?
00:36:16In effect.
00:36:17But I wasn't even born.
00:36:19No, yeah.
00:36:20Nietzsche can fuck off.
00:36:24Can we be sure God didn't kill himself?
00:36:28You know, cos you never know what people are going through.
00:36:30It's possible.
00:36:35Nietzsche's proclamation that God was dead
00:36:37caused an intellectual firestorm
00:36:39as writers and thinkers debated the decline of religious authority
00:36:43in an increasingly secularised world
00:36:46107 years before the release of unrelated Belgian techno-anthem
00:36:51Pump Up The Jam.
00:36:52Pump up the jam, pump it up
00:37:10While your feet are stumping
00:37:12And the jam is pumping
00:37:13Look ahead, the crowd are jumping
00:37:15Pump it up a little more
00:37:17Get the party going on the dance floor
00:37:19See, cos that's where the party's at
00:37:21And you'll find out if you do that
00:37:23I want a place to stay
00:37:27Get your booty on the floor tonight
00:37:30Make my day
00:37:31I want a place to stay
00:37:35Get your booty on the floor tonight
00:37:37Make my day
00:37:39Make my day
00:37:41Make my day
00:37:43Make my day
00:37:45Make my day
00:37:46But if Nietzsche was right and God is dead
00:37:56It means we've got no higher entities judging our lifestyles
00:37:59Except the people from the flat upstairs
00:38:01It could create a terrifying moral vacuum
00:38:04In which people feel free to behave atrociously
00:38:07Like they did in the entertainment industry of the 1970s
00:38:11And the 80s and the 90s
00:38:132000s, 2010s and today
00:38:16Luckily, moral guidance was on hand
00:38:18Thanks to the world of literature
00:38:20There were a lot of influential Russian writers in the 19th century
00:38:28Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Turgenev, Turnover and Pushkin
00:38:33Who was best?
00:38:36I like Pushkin
00:38:37Yeah?
00:38:38Yes
00:38:39What about Turnover?
00:38:41Turnover
00:38:41Is...
00:38:43What did he write?
00:38:45Oh, I don't know
00:38:46It's in the notes
00:38:47The main influential Russian writers were Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Turgenev, Turnover and Pushkin
00:38:58It's alright if you've not heard of him
00:39:00It's fine, you shouldn't be embarrassed
00:39:01I hadn't heard of him either
00:39:03Yeah, no, no
00:39:04This is one of the literary world's greatest moral thinkers
00:39:08Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky
00:39:11Seen here enjoying himself at a party
00:39:13He wrote many books still not read to this day
00:39:16But his most celebrated work
00:39:19His absolute tour de France
00:39:20His unopened masterpiece Crimean de Punishment
00:39:23Crime and Punishment grapples with individual freedom
00:39:27The role of authority and the complexities of morality
00:39:31What would you give it out of ten?
00:39:34I'd give it nine, I think
00:39:36Nine?
00:39:36Yeah
00:39:37Nine
00:39:39Punishment hasn't changed much since Dostoevsky's day
00:39:44Although incredibly, in some countries
00:39:46If an offender's crime was really bad
00:39:48The authorities will actually cut their sentence short
00:39:51By killing them
00:39:53Capital punishment forces us to ask questions like
00:39:57Does it hurt?
00:39:58Are tickets available?
00:39:59And what's the view like from seat 6A?
00:40:02And also other more profound moral questions
00:40:04Why do we say people are facing the electric chair
00:40:08When they've got their backs to it?
00:40:10Well, I think you're taking it too literally there
00:40:12What we mean by facing the electric chair is facing an inevitable death
00:40:17This is Waylon Jackalot IV
00:40:21In 2019, he skinned six people alive
00:40:24And was rewarded with his own Netflix documentary
00:40:27And a guest spot on death row
00:40:29And I'm delighted to say he's joining us right now
00:40:33So, Waylon, you murdered six people
00:40:36Where'd you get your ideas from?
00:40:38It's kind of tough for me to dwell on
00:40:41All I can say is
00:40:43The Waylon Jackalot that killed those folks
00:40:46Was a different man
00:40:49To the one you see today
00:40:50So it wasn't you?
00:40:52You're innocent?
00:40:55No, ma'am
00:40:55I killed him
00:40:56Oh, thank God for that
00:40:58So, have you been on death row before?
00:41:02Or is this your first time?
00:41:04First time?
00:41:05You're facing the electric chair
00:41:07Aren't you worried about what's going to happen?
00:41:09I've made my peace with the Lord
00:41:11But I'm ready to meet him
00:41:13Yeah, but aren't you scared it'll hurt?
00:41:15It's millions of volts
00:41:17My mate Paul says you liver fries
00:41:19And your kidneys pop
00:41:21And your bowels go into reverse flow
00:41:23And shoot boiling shit up into your throat
00:41:25Which chokes you
00:41:26Apparently it'd be genuinely more humane
00:41:29To just pay some of the other inmates
00:41:30To hold you down and physically pull your head off
00:41:32Anyway, um
00:41:39Best of luck
00:41:40Actually, before you go
00:41:43Could you just do a quick promo thing for us
00:41:45Into that phone?
00:41:47Could you say
00:41:48Watch me die on conk on life
00:41:50It's for TikTok
00:41:52It's only short
00:41:52Watch me die on conk for life
00:41:58On life
00:41:59Watch me die on conk on life
00:42:05There you go
00:42:07Wasn't hard, was it?
00:42:10Why does the electric chair only do one person at a time?
00:42:15Could you have an electric bench that does about seven in one go?
00:42:19It probably could
00:42:20We definitely shouldn't
00:42:22Would be quicker though
00:42:22And you can do them in batches
00:42:24It would be quicker
00:42:25But we'd have to accept that the death penalty
00:42:27Was a
00:42:28A sensible and useful thing to do
00:42:30And I don't accept that
00:42:31Electrocuting people isn't very eco-friendly, is it?
00:42:34Could we steam them to death instead?
00:42:38I'm sure there are other ways
00:42:39Of
00:42:40Administering the death penalty
00:42:42That might be more
00:42:44Eco-friendly
00:42:45I think the preference would be to not do it at all
00:42:48In a just and moral society
00:42:50Is it better to kill one innocent person
00:42:53Than to save one innocent person?
00:42:57It's never going to be better to kill an innocent person, I don't think
00:43:00Contemplating weighty, big-bummed life and death dilemmas in a godless universe
00:43:06Opens the door to nihilism and existentialism
00:43:09Two of the hardest to spell concepts in philosophy
00:43:12So nihilism is the view that nothing, absolutely nothing, matters
00:43:20Why don't people mention the nihilists on their dating profiles?
00:43:25I went on a date with a bloke and 20 minutes in
00:43:28He said he was a nihilist
00:43:30And that because human existence is futile
00:43:33There was no point continuing with the date
00:43:35And he left
00:43:36And I had to pay
00:43:37Was he a nihilist or just a prick?
00:43:41Probably both
00:43:42Yeah, as I suspected
00:43:44Nihilism is the belief that life is meaningless
00:43:49And nothing is worth believing in
00:43:51Except more nihilism
00:43:53Existentialism is the same as that
00:43:55But using longer words
00:43:56Who's the most famous existentialist in history?
00:44:02Probably Jean-Paul Sartre
00:44:05Right, see I'd have said it was E.T.
00:44:07This is the first celebrity existentialist
00:44:12Parisian writer Jean-Paul Sartre and Ringo
00:44:14Sartre saw things differently to everybody else
00:44:17Partly because of his questioning mindset
00:44:19But mainly because of those eyes
00:44:21I mean seriously
00:44:23You could probably see the back of his own ears with them
00:44:26Or write two books at once
00:44:28That's why he was such a prolific author
00:44:30Writing book upon book
00:44:32Outlining his existentialist theories
00:44:34Decades before the release of unrelated Belgian techno anthem
00:44:38Pump Up The Jam
00:44:39Which he heard earlier
00:44:41Someone told me that cats are a good example
00:44:44Of something that lives like an existentialist
00:44:47A good life for an existentialist
00:44:50If there is such a thing
00:44:51Is a matter of creating your own goals and values
00:44:56And sincerely following them
00:44:59For example, my cat reacts to his environment
00:45:02Rather than just being dragged around by others
00:45:05How do you know cats aren't thinking about their existence?
00:45:09They might be really anxious
00:45:10And when they say meow
00:45:12They're expressing their own pain like
00:45:14Meow
00:45:15Well, cats have pain
00:45:18They don't behave in a way
00:45:20That seems to suggest a level of self-consciousness
00:45:24Cats lick their own bum holes, don't they?
00:45:26Are all existentialists supple enough to do that?
00:45:30Er, no
00:45:31Being overwhelmed with existential angst
00:45:36Is part of being human
00:45:38Some of the greatest artists in history
00:45:43Have tried to express the agony of the human condition
00:45:46And so have ones who could only paint as badly as this
00:45:50This is Edvard Munch's The Scream
00:45:52The first major existentialist statement
00:45:55To later become an emoji
00:45:56What inspired Eddie Munch to paint this?
00:45:59It was an experience he'd had walking with his friends
00:46:03But I've been on bridges
00:46:04And you don't find me painting about it
00:46:07How come we can't hear him?
00:46:09Is he on mute?
00:46:10No, it's nature that is screaming loudly
00:46:13And we all could hear nature screaming loudly
00:46:16So is this one of the few examples of a silent painting?
00:46:21All paintings are silent
00:46:22If Edvard Munch knew he wouldn't be able to hear it
00:46:25Why didn't he wait till this bloke's mouth was closed before painting him?
00:46:29It's just annoying
00:46:30I've noticed he's not moving either
00:46:32Why is that?
00:46:33Because he's rooted to the spot
00:46:35By the deep emotion he finds
00:46:38So it's a freeze frame of a painting?
00:46:41It's a freeze frame of a mood
00:46:45Drew Barrymore dies at the start of this painting, doesn't she?
00:46:49Do you know if they've got Scream 2 in this gallery as well?
00:46:53Scream 2?
00:46:54Yeah
00:46:54I'm afraid I don't know Scream 2
00:46:56But this was based on the film, wasn't it?
00:46:59I don't think he'd seen the film
00:47:01It's a painting of an experience he'd had
00:47:05Yeah
00:47:05But not a physical experience, an emotional and psychological experience
00:47:10Right
00:47:10We paint our souls
00:47:12Why do we paint our souls?
00:47:15The more agonised and miserable the artwork, the more people like it
00:47:19And no dead agonised artist is bigger than miserable redhead and own ear vandal
00:47:24Vincenzo van Beethoven Goff
00:47:26As you can see from this photograph
00:47:29Van Gogh actually resembled a painting in real life
00:47:32Making a career in art inevitable
00:47:35Several of his works, such as Sad Flowers, Scary Night and Woofie McPoker
00:47:41Have fetched millions at auction
00:47:4322,500,000 pounds for the last time
00:47:49This is one of his most famous works, Wheatfield with Crows
00:47:54At first glance it's a simple rural scene
00:47:58But look closer and you'll see it's actually very badly made
00:48:01Take these birds
00:48:03Apparently they're crows
00:48:05But it's impossible to know because there's no detail at all
00:48:09Some are big, some are small
00:48:11Some have more wings than others
00:48:12Looking at this, it's hard to believe Van Gogh had actually even seen a crow
00:48:18Or a wheatfield
00:48:19Or even held a brush before
00:48:21Look at those strokes
00:48:24They're sloppy
00:48:26It's like he painted it wearing boxing gloves
00:48:28It's just not good enough
00:48:30In fact it's actively bad
00:48:32Van Gogh's life and by extension our world
00:48:36Would have been improved if he'd never painted anything
00:48:39Not even a bog door in a home for the blind
00:48:41Anyway that's my view
00:48:43What do you think?
00:48:49Of course most people aren't miserable like Van Gogh
00:48:52They're miserable like themselves
00:48:54They simply don't have time to channel their pain into artistic expression
00:49:02Because they're too busy working
00:49:03And work is something we all learn to barely tolerate
00:49:07Ever since the earliest caveman went to work for the first cunt
00:49:11People have hated their jobs
00:49:13Partly because those jobs were awful
00:49:15For centuries most jobs involved manual labour
00:49:19Like logging heavy coal around and tilling the fields while someone sketched you for posterity
00:49:24But as our world gets more modern and full of old plastic and metal and stuff
00:49:28The nature of work has changed
00:49:30Now jobs are even worse
00:49:32Which contributes to an ever-growing sense of hopelessness
00:49:36Humans have to work a lot, don't they?
00:49:40Can work ever be truly rewarding?
00:49:43Yeah, I think so
00:49:45What, even for him?
00:49:48All he does is hold a stick all day
00:49:51There's no way that's rewarding
00:49:53Or meaningful
00:49:54There's no skill involved
00:49:56We wouldn't even need a machine to replace him
00:50:00Just like a bracket and a standard do
00:50:01Can't be fulfilling in the slightest
00:50:04He holds that stick more than he holds his loved ones
00:50:07If you think of the things he's missed out on
00:50:10Just holding that fucking stick like a slave
00:50:13You don't get that time back, you know
00:50:16Wasted his life
00:50:19Very echoey in here, isn't it?
00:50:28Phil would have hated that
00:50:29Wouldn't he, Ian?
00:50:34You're next
00:50:35Can we have a minute for Atmos, please?
00:50:43Life itself can sometimes feel like a horrible burden from which there is no escape
00:50:47But luckily, help is at hand
00:50:49That's why I've come to leading streaming platform, Streamberry
00:50:53To see how they help distract viewers from the bottomless misery of existence
00:50:57Here at Streamberry, we're passionate about providing our users with entertainment
00:51:04That speaks to them on a personal level about their needs
00:51:07Not just as a consumer, but as a mammal
00:51:10We monitor our viewers' emotional state at all times
00:51:15And we've discovered most of them are locked in a state of existential helplessness
00:51:19And I imagine you want to fix that
00:51:22Yes, that's why we launched a suite of programming
00:51:25Aimed at viewers who have given up all hope
00:51:28Which is 116% of them
00:51:30These shows are grouped together into genre brackets
00:51:33That help despairing viewers locate content that really speaks to their mood
00:51:37We're currently seeing maximum growth in a category called
00:51:41Standing on a Ledge Right Now
00:51:42And what's that?
00:51:43That's programming aimed at viewers standing on a ledge right now
00:51:47Usually watching on their phone
00:51:49Naturally, we don't want them to jump
00:51:51That would negatively affect engagement
00:51:53And what's about the little ones?
00:51:56Is there anything for them?
00:51:58Yes, actually
00:51:59One of our newest releases is a show aimed at kids
00:52:02Standing on ledges
00:52:03Wow
00:52:04And I think we've got an exclusive preview of that right now
00:52:07Hey, mister! Don't jump!
00:52:20Why not?
00:52:22Well...
00:52:23Sometimes we all feel like life's lost its meaning
00:52:28But jump and that sidewalk will need careful cleaning
00:52:31And more to the point, you just wouldn't survive
00:52:34Let me list you some reasons for staying alive
00:52:37Uh, okay
00:52:38You'd miss out on nature and all of its wonder
00:52:43Like puppies and kittens and sunshine and thunder
00:52:46Your parents would miss you in sorrow they drown
00:52:49If you planned from that legend went flat on the ground
00:52:52Uh-huh
00:52:53Jumping's so final
00:52:57No chance of revision
00:53:00Most people who do jump
00:53:03We quit their decisions
00:53:05Oh, you try!
00:53:06To leave a great legacy
00:53:09Stay in the game
00:53:13It's your beats just leaving a dent
00:53:15And a stain
00:53:17Oh, okay
00:53:19You've convinced me
00:53:21Yeah!
00:53:22Life is worth it
00:53:23I don't want to die
00:53:25Oh, be careful, returning
00:53:27You don't want to slip
00:53:29Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
00:53:30Oh, well, it's too late
00:53:32Bye-bye
00:53:33Well, thanks, Jackie
00:53:40That was really enlightening
00:53:42And Streamberry seems fantastic
00:53:44Thank you
00:53:45Thank you
00:53:45Great
00:53:46Brilliant
00:53:47Thank you
00:53:49Yeah
00:53:53Still to come
00:53:55Will computers recode the meaning of life?
00:53:58Will we ever be able to upload our souls to a computer?
00:54:01I take a closer look at cloning
00:54:04If you clone twins, do you get two copies of one of them or one copy of both of them?
00:54:11Brian Cox gives a scientific view of the firmament
00:54:15Isn't it a waste of energy leaving the stars on at night?
00:54:18No
00:54:19But first, time to contemplate our fate in a pitiless, godless universe
00:54:24With God dead and existential despair all the rage
00:54:29It seemed humankind was all alone in the universe
00:54:32We were back to square one
00:54:35Staring up at the night sky and wondering how it got there
00:54:38To find out, we'd have to reopen the biggest cold case of all time
00:54:42The Bible had claimed the universe was God's creation
00:54:52But now we knew that that was a lie
00:54:54We'd have to come up with a new implausible theory
00:54:57It's October the 5th, 1923
00:55:02And astronomer Edwin Hubble is about to make an incredible discovery
00:55:06Peering through his telescope
00:55:10He becomes the first human to observe a Cepheid variable star in a galaxy beyond our own
00:55:15Hubble raced home to tell his wife Grace
00:55:19Who had loyally supported him throughout his career
00:55:21I've done it, he cried, but in his voice instead of mine
00:55:26I've fundamentally altered our concept of the universe
00:55:29Oh darling, that's wonderful, she replied
00:55:32Her eyes shone with pride and they embraced
00:55:35As they kissed hungrily, their excitement gave way to passion
00:55:40And they moved to the bedroom, hurriedly shedding their clothes
00:55:43Flesh pressed on flesh
00:55:48As they explored each other's bodies with carnal abandon
00:55:53Together they steadily built towards a crescendo of ecstasy
00:55:58Their faces contorting with bliss
00:56:01And a mutual orgasm shuddered through their bodies
00:56:22There they lay, quietly entwined
00:56:28Exhausted yet resplendent in the warm afterglow of their union
00:56:32And then Hubble mopped up the damp patch with his vest
00:56:36Hubble's discovery paved the way for a groundbreaking theory
00:56:42About how our universe was formed
00:56:44A theory that still excites nerds to this day
00:56:48Why do people say the universe came out of a big bag?
00:56:53I think you mean big bang
00:56:54A big bag that went bang?
00:56:57No, no, just a big bang, no bag
00:56:59Has anyone ever claimed responsibility for the big bang?
00:57:05It just happened
00:57:06So we're no nearer finding a culprit
00:57:09The big bang is a theory
00:57:12And like all theories, no one understands it
00:57:15And if they come too close to working it out
00:57:17They're assassinated by the CIA
00:57:19But if it did happen
00:57:21The big bang filled the universe with matter
00:57:24This is an atom
00:57:26It's so tiny
00:57:28You probably can't see it
00:57:29Even if you're watching in 4K
00:57:31In fact, it's so small
00:57:33Chances are I dropped it before we started filming
00:57:36You, me and everything around us
00:57:39Is made from these
00:57:40Apart from this coat
00:57:42Which is 100% cashmere
00:57:43What's the point of atoms?
00:57:47You know, do we really need them
00:57:48Or could we just do without?
00:57:49We do really need them
00:57:50Because we are made of atoms
00:57:52Everything in the world is made of atoms
00:57:54So without them we wouldn't be here
00:57:56Are eyes made of atoms?
00:57:59Yes
00:58:00Because my mate Paul did ketamine once
00:58:02And he said he started counting all the atoms in his eyes
00:58:06Then he tried to eat a towel
00:58:08And he ended up in hospital
00:58:10Okay
00:58:10Are my feet made of atoms?
00:58:13Yes
00:58:13I mean, I could save you the bother
00:58:17By everything you say
00:58:19Absolutely everything
00:58:19All stuff is made of atoms
00:58:21Are thoughts made of atoms?
00:58:23Well, no
00:58:24Well, no
00:58:25Thoughts are
00:58:25Well, there you go then
00:58:26Okay
00:58:27But thought, okay
00:58:28You might think nothing's smaller than atoms
00:58:31But as usual, you'd be wrong
00:58:33Incredibly, atoms themselves
00:58:35Are made of even smaller subatomic particles
00:58:38Scientists have spent literally decades
00:58:41Attempting to explain why these are interesting
00:58:43To no avail
00:58:44Perhaps that's why
00:58:47Deep underground near Geneva
00:58:48They built a gigantic machine
00:58:50Called the Large Hadron Collider
00:58:52It smashes subatomic particles together
00:58:55Recreating the conditions of the Big Bang
00:58:58And I'm actually walking into it now
00:59:00Wearing a hard hat
00:59:02In case a proton falls on me
00:59:05So this is
00:59:06This is the actual Large Hadron Collider
00:59:09So am I right in thinking that
00:59:10This might prove the existence of chakras
00:59:13Within the human body?
00:59:14No
00:59:15You're not interested in chakras?
00:59:18No
00:59:19In the same way I'm not interested in ghosts
00:59:21But my Aunt Carol
00:59:22She can sense chakras in someone's body
00:59:25And she doesn't need any machines
00:59:27This could explode at any minute, couldn't it?
00:59:30No
00:59:30How fast do the protons in this thing go?
00:59:3499.999999% the speed of light
00:59:38Your sense of smell is faster, isn't it?
00:59:40No
00:59:41Well, how come that when someone's frying bacon
00:59:44And you walk in the kitchen
00:59:45You can smell it straight away
00:59:47Before you've even seen it?
00:59:49Have you ever tried putting bacon in here?
00:59:51No
00:59:54Yeah, you should try it
00:59:55You might make quantum bacon
00:59:56Would that make it more interesting?
00:59:58A little bit
00:59:58Why would it be more interesting?
01:00:01Because what it's trying to do
01:00:02I'm desperately
01:00:02I'm trying to help you out here
01:00:04I'm trying to, like, make it
01:00:06Even slightly more interesting than it is
01:00:08But what it did
01:00:10Was it detected
01:00:11A thing called the Higgs particle
01:00:13Without the Higgs particle
01:00:15You, me
01:00:17And everything else
01:00:18That we know of in the universe
01:00:20None of those things would exist
01:00:21In 2012
01:00:23The mega boffins at CERN
01:00:25Discovered something incredible
01:00:27The Higgs bosom
01:00:28Because of its significance
01:00:31In explaining how our universe was made
01:00:33The Higgs bosom
01:00:35Is sometimes referred to
01:00:36As the God particle
01:00:37But it could also be called
01:00:39The Allah particle
01:00:40Because we can't show you
01:00:41Any pictures of it
01:00:42No less an authority
01:00:45Than the man I just spoke to
01:00:46Claimed it was
01:00:47The biggest scientific discovery
01:00:49In his lifetime
01:00:50I think this is the biggest
01:00:52Scientific discovery
01:00:53In my lifetime
01:00:54And that it stood
01:00:55With the great scientific discoveries
01:00:56Of all time
01:00:58And it stands
01:00:59With the great scientific discoveries
01:01:01Of all time
01:01:02Can the Higgs boson
01:01:04Rewind time?
01:01:05No
01:01:06Can it tell when an earthquake
01:01:09Is going to go off?
01:01:10No
01:01:10Can it make food spicier?
01:01:13It's just a particle
01:01:14It's like saying
01:01:15Can an electron
01:01:17Tell when an earthquake
01:01:19Is going to go off?
01:01:21Can it?
01:01:21No
01:01:22Oh
01:01:22Subatomic particles
01:01:24The tiniest things in existence
01:01:26Can simultaneously exist
01:01:28In two different states at once
01:01:29Just like Liam Hemsworth
01:01:31Who's sexy
01:01:32And boring
01:01:33In other words
01:01:35Science moves in mysterious ways
01:01:37Just like God does
01:01:38Which was awkward
01:01:39Because scientists had decided
01:01:41God didn't exist
01:01:42So they invented
01:01:44A whole new kind of science
01:01:45The science of things
01:01:47That don't make scientific sense
01:01:49And to make it sound official
01:01:51They gave it a clever name
01:01:52What is quantum physics?
01:01:55Quantum physics
01:01:56Is
01:01:57So quantum mechanics
01:01:58Is our best theory
01:01:59Of how the world works
01:02:01It describes everything
01:02:02That we've observed
01:02:03Other than gravity
01:02:05Do mirrors run on quantum physics?
01:02:09Run?
01:02:10Yeah
01:02:10As in?
01:02:13Well
01:02:13According to quantum physics
01:02:14Mirrors shouldn't work
01:02:15They're a miracle
01:02:16That's not correct
01:02:19Quantum theory onyx
01:02:21Proves there's infinite multiverses
01:02:23Like in Marvel films
01:02:24Doesn't it?
01:02:25That's one interpretation
01:02:26Of the theory
01:02:27How many infinite multiverses
01:02:29Are there?
01:02:30If there were
01:02:31An infinite number
01:02:32Of multiverses
01:02:33Then the number
01:02:33Of multiverses
01:02:34Would be infinite
01:02:35See I think there's two
01:02:36Ours
01:02:38And the one in mirrors
01:02:39Mirrors are windows
01:02:43Into other universes
01:02:44Aren't they?
01:02:44No
01:02:45My mate Paul says
01:02:46They run on quantum power
01:02:48And that's why
01:02:49You can see into
01:02:50An alternative dimension
01:02:51In which everything's
01:02:52The same as our realm
01:02:53But backwards
01:02:54What does Paul do?
01:02:56Well he worked in
01:02:57A tennis ball factory
01:02:58Where he had to
01:02:59Catch the tennis balls
01:03:00But he was fired from that
01:03:01And now he's unemployed
01:03:02Sorry am I wasting your time?
01:03:10Yeah
01:03:10By the end of the 20th century
01:03:15Science had tried
01:03:16To outdo religion
01:03:17By explaining creation
01:03:19Unpicking the fabric
01:03:20Of existence
01:03:21And discovering
01:03:22The god particle
01:03:23For its next trick
01:03:25It tried to emulate
01:03:26God himself
01:03:27By creating life
01:03:29The first ever thing
01:03:31To be cloned
01:03:31Was Dolly the sheep
01:03:32Daughter of Dolly
01:03:34The other sheep
01:03:34Dolly became
01:03:36The most famous sheep
01:03:36In history
01:03:37Although to be fair
01:03:38That's a low bar
01:03:39Of course
01:03:40Cloning raises awkward
01:03:42Questions about
01:03:43Our sense of identity
01:03:44If I get copied
01:03:46Am I still unique?
01:03:48Or is the clone me
01:03:49More unique?
01:03:50Because it's a clone
01:03:51Which is cooler
01:03:52What makes me me
01:03:54And you you
01:03:55And us us
01:03:56And we we
01:03:57But rather than
01:03:59Being replaced by clones
01:04:01It's more likely
01:04:02We'll be replaced
01:04:02By something else
01:04:03We created
01:04:04Computers
01:04:05Which are becoming
01:04:06So clever
01:04:07They might one day
01:04:08Outsmart their masters
01:04:10Will a computer
01:04:12Ever be clever enough
01:04:13To play chess?
01:04:15Computers are already
01:04:16Clever enough
01:04:17To play chess
01:04:17Really?
01:04:18This is chess
01:04:19We're talking about
01:04:20Yes
01:04:20Years ago
01:04:22Computers overtook
01:04:23Human beings at chess
01:04:25But do they know
01:04:26What all the pieces do?
01:04:27Like even the little
01:04:28Horse ones?
01:04:29Yes
01:04:29But the horse ones
01:04:31Move in random directions
01:04:32Don't they?
01:04:33There's no pattern to it
01:04:34No there is
01:04:35They just move
01:04:36Two in one direction
01:04:38And one in the other
01:04:39So that
01:04:39Oh right
01:04:40Did the computers
01:04:41Work that out for us?
01:04:42Not content with
01:04:44Playing chess
01:04:45Computers are getting
01:04:46Better at emulating
01:04:47Other, more human
01:04:48Less chess-like pursuits
01:04:50One of the first
01:04:51Examples of AI
01:04:52Was a piece of software
01:04:53Called Eliza
01:04:54Which stands for something
01:04:56Eliza simulated a psychiatrist
01:04:58It would ask you how you were feeling
01:05:00And respond to your reply
01:05:01But it was basic
01:05:03It couldn't do everything
01:05:04A psychiatrist can do
01:05:05It couldn't walk around the desk
01:05:07Or overcharge you
01:05:08Start an affair with its secretary
01:05:09Cook an omelette
01:05:10Or go
01:05:11Today AI is everywhere
01:05:37And all around us
01:05:38In our homes
01:05:39And in our hands
01:05:39With digital assistants
01:05:41Like Siri
01:05:42Hi there
01:05:43Alexa
01:05:43And that Google one
01:05:44No one remembers
01:05:45Seriously
01:05:46Might as well be called Cuthbert
01:05:47But when people talk about AI
01:05:49Most of them are thinking
01:05:50About generative AI chatbots
01:05:52Like this
01:05:53Chat GPT
01:05:54Which is so good
01:05:55At mimicking humans
01:05:56We might as well
01:05:57Fucking kill ourselves
01:05:58Or at least
01:05:59That's what it just told me
01:06:00People worry a lot
01:06:02About AI
01:06:03What about you
01:06:05You mean
01:06:08Am I worried
01:06:09About
01:06:10No I mean
01:06:11Should they worry about you
01:06:12I hope not
01:06:16I hope not
01:06:16I mean
01:06:17I'm
01:06:17People are worried
01:06:19About artificial intelligence
01:06:20Because they think
01:06:21Maybe one day
01:06:21It will replace
01:06:22Us human beings
01:06:23I'm
01:06:24I'm a human being
01:06:25Why should they be worried
01:06:26About me
01:06:26No no no
01:06:27The letter U
01:06:28They're all vowels
01:06:30Aren't they
01:06:31Oh I
01:06:31AI
01:06:31U
01:06:32What does the U
01:06:33In AI
01:06:34Stand for
01:06:35There isn't a U
01:06:37In AI
01:06:38So it's a secret then
01:06:40The computer's hidden it
01:06:41I'm more than machine
01:06:44Oh man
01:06:45More than a fusion
01:06:47Of the two
01:06:48Of course us humans
01:06:50Aren't about to be slaughtered
01:06:52By the nightmarish robots
01:06:53Of science fiction
01:06:54We're about to be slaughtered
01:06:56By the nightmarish robots
01:06:57Of real life
01:06:58Now us humans
01:07:01Stand on a precipice
01:07:02At the edge of a cliff face
01:07:03Peering into a bottomless abyss
01:07:05And wondering if there's
01:07:06A void underneath it
01:07:07The question of life's purpose
01:07:09Seems more urgent than ever
01:07:11And even experts are confused
01:07:13Is there a point to human existence
01:07:16And if there is
01:07:19What is it
01:07:20And when you're answering
01:07:22Bear in mind
01:07:22That if it's too long
01:07:23We have to overlay
01:07:24Funny pet videos
01:07:25Over part of the screen
01:07:26So viewers don't get bored
01:07:28Well
01:07:29We want our lives
01:07:31To have
01:07:32Meaning
01:07:33And the question is
01:07:36Is that meaning
01:07:38Something that we construct
01:07:41Which is what the German philosopher
01:07:44Nietzsche would say
01:07:46Or is meaning something
01:07:48That we discover
01:07:49In the world
01:07:50Maybe that meaning
01:07:52Is generated by God
01:07:55Or maybe that meaning
01:07:57Just happens to be
01:07:58Part of the fabric
01:08:00Of the universe
01:08:00Why are poos
01:08:03Tapered at the end
01:08:04Are they that shape
01:08:06When they're inside us
01:08:07Or do our bums
01:08:09Mould them into that shape
01:08:11Sorry that's for the poo expert
01:08:14Although you're here
01:08:16So do you fancy answering it
01:08:18Or
01:08:18I don't think I know enough
01:08:20About human biology
01:08:21To give you an accurate answer
01:08:23Fair enough
01:08:23Yeah
01:08:24Throughout this landmark epic
01:08:27Which you have definitely enjoyed
01:08:29My quest for meaning
01:08:30Has taken me around the world
01:08:32And into several buildings
01:08:33Downstairs
01:08:34And at one point
01:08:35Onto a bouncy castle
01:08:36From religious ecstasy
01:08:38To nihilistic defecation
01:08:40From great works of literature
01:08:42To that awful fucking painting
01:08:44Humankind's quest for meaning
01:08:46Has never let up
01:08:47And now my work here is done
01:08:49I hope you found it illuminating
01:08:52Now it's time for me
01:08:53To find out the meaning
01:08:54Of life in other worlds
01:08:55Goodbye
01:08:56Do authors sign their books
01:09:06At the end
01:09:07Like when you write a letter
01:09:08Like
01:09:09That's crime and punishment
01:09:11The end
01:09:12Yours sincerely
01:09:13Dostoyevsky
01:09:15Seldom
01:09:17I think
01:09:18Why does the human eye
01:09:20Have a nerve
01:09:21Connecting it directly
01:09:22To the anus
01:09:23It doesn't
01:09:24It does
01:09:25Because when you pick your bum
01:09:26You sort of go like that
01:09:27When the penis
01:09:30Goes into a lady
01:09:32Why does it keep
01:09:33Backing out
01:09:34And going back in
01:09:35Can't it just go in
01:09:36Get it done
01:09:37And leave
01:09:38Were our souls
01:09:39Created
01:09:40During the big bang
01:09:41Depends what you mean
01:09:42By our souls
01:09:43You know what I mean
01:09:44By our souls
01:09:45It's a shame
01:09:47They only make semen
01:09:48Isn't it
01:09:49If they made tomato soup
01:09:50You could share a nice mug
01:09:51Of it in bed afterwards
01:09:52Is it harder
01:09:55To enter the kingdom of heaven
01:09:56Since Brexit
01:09:57I don't think Brexit
01:10:00Has anything to do
01:10:01With the kingdom of heaven
01:10:03Doesn't matter
01:10:03Or hell for that matter
01:10:04My mate Paul says
01:10:06If you look in a mirror
01:10:07For about an hour
01:10:08It's possible
01:10:08To trick your consciousness
01:10:09Into thinking
01:10:10It's inside the other you
01:10:12And then you can run off
01:10:14Before it can jump back out
01:10:15And get you
01:10:16He said he managed it once
01:10:18But about a second
01:10:19After he started running
01:10:20He caught his balls
01:10:21On a door handle
01:10:22And ended up rolling around
01:10:24On the floor in agony
01:10:25While his consciousness
01:10:26Watched him from the mirror
01:10:27Pissing itself
01:10:28I don't think your consciousness
01:10:30Can go inside a mirror
01:10:32Do worry about Paul
01:10:34I think he just hasn't
01:10:37Found his role in society
01:10:38So you're in the Big Bang Gang
01:10:41The Big Bang
01:10:43Gang
01:10:44The Big Bang Gang
01:10:45The Big Bang Gang
01:10:46I think we're all
01:10:46In the Big Bang Gang
01:10:47Are we?
01:10:48Yeah
01:10:48Could you say that
01:10:49Down that lens there
01:10:50Please
01:10:51Yeah I'm in the Big Bang Gang
01:10:52You're in the Big Bang Gang
01:10:54You're in the Big Bang Gang
01:10:55We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:10:57We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:10:58We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:10:59We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:00We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:01We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:02We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:03We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:05We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:06We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:07We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:08We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:09We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:10We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:11We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:12We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:13We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:14We're all in the Big Bang Gang
01:11:15We're all in the Big Bang Gang
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