- 2 months ago
Matrimoney
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Married.
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Your place, your mind.
00:00:09I must stay in a doghouse.
00:00:11Ahem.
00:00:12Can you guys just keep it down?
00:00:14I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29She's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care.
00:00:31That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Donald Walker.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare.
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:22Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:32Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:39Right back at you.
00:01:41I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I hate you.
00:01:44I fucking hate you more.
00:01:45I hate you more.
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:12To be fair, when we thought I was late, we'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci.
00:02:31Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:34Come on, Gucci.
00:02:35Let's go.
00:02:36Hey.
00:02:37I'm real real.
00:02:38Hey, Jay.
00:02:39Come on, Gucci.
00:02:40Let's go.
00:02:41Hey, I'm real real.
00:02:42Hey, Jay.
00:02:43Come on, Gucci.
00:02:44Let's go.
00:02:45You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:00It reflects on me.
00:03:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:07The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:09I make my own money.
00:03:10Oh, you see.
00:03:11See.
00:03:12Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:13I am the spokesperson for man thumb.
00:03:14That means free underwear for life.
00:03:15For life.
00:03:16Some parents would be proud.
00:03:17Yeah.
00:03:18Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:19You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:20Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:21Hmm.
00:03:22All right.
00:03:23Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:24And don't be late.
00:03:25Bye, Dad.
00:03:26Bye.
00:03:27Bye.
00:03:28Bye.
00:03:29Bye.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:31Bye.
00:03:32Bye.
00:03:48Bye.
00:03:49Bye.
00:03:50Excuse me
00:03:53Eww, haha.
00:03:55Hello, my Gucci.
00:03:56Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:03:57He used to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:11Like you, Amelia?
00:04:13Thank you, Amelia.
00:04:16Good one, Romulus.
00:04:34These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:38Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:41No problem.
00:04:42Cool. Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:50Hi.
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:59I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:03Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:08Where the hell were you?
00:05:09Dad, I'm in a photo shoot.
00:05:13You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:18I can meet him later.
00:05:19Now the shoe lighting's back on the plane again.
00:05:21Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:24Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:26You've got to stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:28You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:32You interned, you went to business school, you have potential, okay?
00:05:37But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:40Well, you're going to have to prove it.
00:05:41Because so far, I ain't seen the end tape from you.
00:05:46Bye, Dad.
00:05:50Hey.
00:05:51You okay?
00:05:52Yeah.
00:05:54Um, but I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:57So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:06:17Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20There is an experimental treatment, but it's really expensive, and my insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:30Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're going to get through this together.
00:06:40Oh, yeah.
00:06:50Ciao, Gucci.
00:06:56Did she have a good walk?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:07I'm sorry.
00:07:08This is...
00:07:09No, no, forget about it.
00:07:10I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:12The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:15I have the savings for my doggy daycare.
00:07:18My dream, but...
00:07:21It's only enough for one treatment, and who knows how many she's going to need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After our parents passed, I would do anything for her.
00:07:35Amelia, I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:39You do?
00:07:42Come back tonight, and make something nice.
00:07:48Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:03Except for the dog hair.
00:08:06Well, come with me.
00:08:08I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:10Are they from Italy?
00:08:11Yes.
00:08:13Wow.
00:08:13Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well, Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:08:22I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday, huh?
00:08:24Mm-hmm.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:32I wasn't.
00:08:33Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:44That'd be really hard.
00:08:46Hey, arrivederci, huh?
00:08:48Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:01What exactly?
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:11Not half bad.
00:09:12I mean, it's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:19Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:27You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:30Just a few more pictures.
00:09:32I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:34I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:42For me another.
00:09:48I told you, I'm...
00:09:49Now!
00:09:52Fine.
00:09:59See, dog walker?
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:07This is fucking product!
00:10:08Asshole!
00:10:13You're crazy, bitch!
00:10:18Amelia!
00:10:19Whoa!
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:21I asked her to pour me another drink, and she flipped out!
00:10:24I'm sorry, Romulus, but your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no, please.
00:10:29I apologize.
00:10:30My son, he's just immature, all right?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you to put forward, eh?
00:10:36Please, all right?
00:10:38Just have a seat, all right?
00:10:40And I promise, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:44So, Amelia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:48And you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay, I want the business.
00:11:03Now, I think we can, uh, make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:15You two just have to get married, that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus, what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:30Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Oh, Angelo, look.
00:11:35You have to grow up before you can run out business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look, you know, my wife and I, we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah.
00:11:53We were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:57She sure drove me crazy when we first met.
00:12:00I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:03But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:12Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:15I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Well, you'll be able to afford the treatment if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:12:24Come on.
00:12:25Come on.
00:12:29What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:35Fine.
00:12:38I'll do it.
00:12:40For Betsy.
00:12:45Well, Angelo, it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:48If you're not going to agree to marry her, then you're going to lose the business.
00:12:55And you're also going to lose your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:05Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already drafted the contract.
00:13:11And, son, we are going to need some champagne.
00:13:15Right, my mom?
00:13:16Yeah.
00:13:16Try and make yourself look decent.
00:13:18You will be engaged for a period of 30 days.
00:13:24Followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you, it's going to be a big one for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Halloween Bowl's not booked.
00:13:33Anyway, you must move in together immediately to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, but, well, it can't do any good if word got out to the public, right?
00:13:45That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53All right.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:14:13Salute to the new couple.
00:14:15So, your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:31So, this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:44It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:14:49Whoa, what was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:11So, put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here, not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong?
00:15:19It's trademarked.
00:15:24Look, I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back, I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:36Oh, by the way, this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:47You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:57Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:00It's not like you.
00:16:03You're saying we're...
00:16:04Reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like I always taught you.
00:16:10Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:14And besides, Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So, I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:27Dino Valeno?
00:16:29Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:16:33No.
00:16:33Shhh.
00:16:38Socialite Networks.
00:16:39Like start a hundred and canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:44His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:51He's so toxic.
00:16:54Speak of the devil?
00:16:57Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:06Amelia.
00:17:08Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:11Doctor's ready.
00:17:13We'll talk about this later.
00:17:16I'm sorry.
00:17:17I'm sorry.
00:17:19I'm sorry.
00:17:21I'm sorry.
00:17:22I'm sorry.
00:17:23We're just gonna wet, baby.
00:17:39We're already wet.
00:17:40We're gonna wet.
00:17:44Ah.
00:17:49Ah.
00:17:55Ah.
00:17:56Where did that come from?
00:17:57Nice place.
00:18:25I love the artwork.
00:18:26Thanks, Marley.
00:18:28Ooh, good taste.
00:18:32No, I'm good.
00:18:33You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:35More for me.
00:18:40You know, if you like it down here,
00:18:43you should see the bedroom.
00:18:45Who are you?
00:18:58Who are you?
00:19:00Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:04Whatever.
00:19:06Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:08I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:10This is my house?
00:19:12We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:17You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:19What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:21Who's jealous?
00:19:23Jealous? I'm not jealous.
00:19:25I'm not jealous.
00:19:29Sweet dreams.
00:19:36I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:38How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:41Even if he is kinda hot.
00:19:44See you later.
00:20:03And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:07Sorry.
00:20:08I had one too many to drink. It won't happen again.
00:20:11You better not.
00:20:13How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now. My head's killing me.
00:20:28We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No, what we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:34I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine. I'll have her sign an NDA. Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:55Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:59I'm serious.
00:21:00Don't screw this up.
00:21:02I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:08Dog walker.
00:21:09And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:14Fine.
00:21:16Do whatever you want.
00:21:18I'm sorry.
00:21:19It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21I just really hung over.
00:21:25That could have gone better.
00:21:28How are you?
00:21:29Hey, baby.
00:21:30You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:31You're rich now.
00:21:32I know.
00:21:33I like it.
00:21:34Ah, that's good to hear.
00:21:35You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:37Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:38Oh, fine.
00:21:39Yeah.
00:21:40We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:41All right.
00:21:42Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:44Oh, and listen, he is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:21:48Look, I promise.
00:21:51I wouldn't be so sure.
00:21:52Yeah, you're right.
00:21:53Well, we'll see you later.
00:21:56Yeah.
00:21:57Come on, Gucci.
00:21:58Come on.
00:21:59Yeah.
00:22:00Come on.
00:22:01Bye, Gucci.
00:22:02Hey, Amelia.
00:22:03Hey, Jake.
00:22:04Gucci, no!
00:22:05Royce!
00:22:06Say, bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:09Still, I'm just kidding.
00:22:10I'm just kidding.
00:22:11I'm just kidding.
00:22:12I'm just kidding.
00:22:13Oh, and listen, he is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:15Look, I promise.
00:22:17I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:18Yeah, you're right.
00:22:19Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:21Yeah.
00:22:22Right.
00:22:23Come on, Gucci.
00:22:24Yeah.
00:22:25Come on.
00:22:26Bye, Gucci.
00:22:27Nice to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah, same here.
00:22:38Sorry, Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:42His whole family, actually.
00:22:44All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:46They should make a reality show.
00:22:48We're a little dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:22:52Do you want to walk together?
00:22:54Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:57Yeah, I'd like that.
00:23:04So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:07A couple months.
00:23:08I like it.
00:23:09I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:12Barista, Uber driver, delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:17You were in a movie.
00:23:19Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:21I was trying to impress you.
00:23:23How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:29It started as a summer job, and then I've turned it into my own business.
00:23:33I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:38Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:40If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:46My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:49Do you want to go?
00:23:50Well, I kind of have to admit, I had a crush on you.
00:23:56You did?
00:23:58Yeah.
00:24:00I still do.
00:24:04He's cute.
00:24:05I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:07Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:15I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:17Hell yeah.
00:24:19I mean, uh, regular.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:21I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:28I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:33Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:36Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:24:41Looks pretty big.
00:24:42It was a big school.
00:24:44Public schools.
00:24:46Am I right?
00:24:46I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:55Me?
00:24:56Engaged?
00:24:57No, are you kidding?
00:24:58I'm 24.
00:24:59I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:00I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:05Nope.
00:25:06Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:12Royce pooped.
00:25:13I should pick it up.
00:25:15Where?
00:25:15I don't see it.
00:25:16Just over there.
00:25:24Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:26Of course.
00:25:27It's an office.
00:25:28You want to be CEO, you got to look the part.
00:25:31You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:36Very funny.
00:25:37You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:38Yes, I know.
00:25:39Yeah.
00:25:39That means you got to get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:42So today you're going to be my shadow.
00:25:44You'll be my extra hands.
00:25:45And we got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get to Starbucks first?
00:25:47Fuck no.
00:25:49Come on, Dad.
00:25:58Wow!
00:26:02Oh my goodness.
00:26:04Are you okay?
00:26:04Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:12You're engaged, remember?
00:26:13And this is our new palette.
00:26:18It's Matt's collection.
00:26:20He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:22But yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:26:36What, Dad?
00:26:37What a day, Dad.
00:26:41It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:42Look at you.
00:26:43You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:47Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:26:49Hard work does pay off.
00:26:51Let me just look at Amelia.
00:26:53What about her?
00:26:54She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:56Nobody taught her how to run a business.
00:26:58But she just worked hard.
00:26:59And now, now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:27:02I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:32Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:36One day down.
00:27:38Forty more years to go.
00:27:42Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia,
00:27:46you talk about the day's work,
00:27:48raise you closer together,
00:27:50comfort each other,
00:27:51just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:54You know, I'm thinking
00:27:56it's time for the world to meet Amelia
00:28:00tonight.
00:28:04Tonight?
00:28:05Shit.
00:28:06When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:28:07I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition
00:28:15to the Dino Verdeena app.
00:28:19Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:24What's the matter?
00:28:25You're getting along, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah.
00:28:28We're just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:32All right, so it's all settled.
00:28:33I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight
00:28:34in the limo,
00:28:36and don't be late.
00:28:41Bye, Dad.
00:28:42So, remind me,
00:28:55why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:58Because I want to do something nice
00:29:00for my favorite big sister.
00:29:03And?
00:29:04And,
00:29:05you know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:07But,
00:29:08since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now,
00:29:10I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:13You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry.
00:29:16Just an expression.
00:29:17There we go.
00:29:17How's it going in there?
00:29:25I'm coming out.
00:29:27I'm coming out.
00:29:28Is that bad?
00:29:38I've never seen a dog walker
00:29:41look this hot
00:29:42by that dress
00:29:44ASAP.
00:29:49Ugh, leave me alone, party boy.
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight.
00:29:53I've got my own function tonight.
00:30:23What are you looking at?
00:30:30You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:31Oh, thanks.
00:30:32I, um,
00:30:33I,
00:30:34Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No,
00:30:38it's just,
00:30:39uh,
00:30:39something different.
00:30:41Did you change your hair?
00:30:42Why do you care?
00:30:44The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:46I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome.
00:30:48Thanks.
00:30:52I'm taking this.
00:30:53Wait,
00:30:54I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you,
00:30:57I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on.
00:31:02Amelia!
00:31:02Amelia!
00:31:10All right,
00:31:11hey,
00:31:11look who's right on time.
00:31:12Nice.
00:31:13Where's Amelia?
00:31:16She's sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
00:31:21If your fiancé's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some,
00:31:27give her some nice soup.
00:31:29I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:35Okay, Dad.
00:31:36See you in the office.
00:31:37Stupid dog walker?
00:31:45Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:48Hey,
00:31:56it's Michael Laine with Dean Levino.
00:31:58Do you still track people?
00:32:15Wow.
00:32:16Amelia.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:18You look like you just walked off a runway.
00:32:22Without a dog.
00:32:24Sorry.
00:32:25I don't come to concerts often.
00:32:26I kind of panicked.
00:32:28No worries.
00:32:28I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:32:32Yeah.
00:32:33But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:32:35Talk to the bartender.
00:32:36Wow.
00:32:37The IP treatment.
00:32:39You look like one.
00:32:40Thanks, Jay.
00:32:43Hey,
00:32:44lover boy.
00:32:45We're on.
00:32:47Gotta go.
00:32:48Find me in the green room after.
00:32:51Hope you like it.
00:32:51Break a leg.
00:32:53Love you, too.
00:32:54Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:02Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:16Good.
00:33:16All I do is you know what I want, babe.
00:33:20You know what I want, babe.
00:33:21You know what I want.
00:33:22Good.
00:33:25Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:33:30One more, please.
00:33:31One more, please.
00:33:36But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:33:38Jake, you guys were great.
00:33:49You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:33:53The who?
00:33:54You don't know the strokes.
00:33:59Are they older?
00:34:01I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:04It's alright.
00:34:06Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:34:08You want some of them to drink?
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:17So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:21Since I was 13.
00:34:23Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally
00:34:26going someplace.
00:34:28That's awesome.
00:34:29And when I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:34:34You're going to quit dog walking?
00:34:37I thought you liked it.
00:34:37I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much.
00:34:44I'm more of a cat person.
00:34:46A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs?
00:34:52Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:34:55I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:34:57I just want to relax.
00:34:59Have a good time.
00:35:01You're beautiful, you know that?
00:35:05I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:35:07No, I'm not sure.
00:35:09We have nothing in common.
00:35:11Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:16What the heck?
00:35:17I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun.
00:35:21Now I can have mine.
00:35:22Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:35:39What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dina Levino, the Nepo baby underwear model.
00:35:45He's not.
00:35:46You coming with me, dog walker?
00:35:48Don't make me get the leash.
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:51Back off, dude.
00:35:52Back off.
00:35:54Grubby little hipster.
00:35:55She's my fiancée.
00:35:57So that was an engagement ring.
00:35:59Jake, I can explain.
00:36:01Let's go.
00:36:04I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:36:05I'm not, Jake.
00:36:06This is for making me uber all the way to fucking sober, Mike.
00:36:17And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:36:19I can't believe you did that.
00:36:26After your high and mighty speech, you're such a hypocrite.
00:36:29Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:36:31Just an Italian-American psycho.
00:36:34I'm not following you around.
00:36:36You know what?
00:36:37I get it.
00:36:38You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:36:40Oh, me jealous?
00:36:43Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:46Mike, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:36:48I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:36:51I have a name.
00:36:53Wait, what are you doing?
00:36:54That is an original.
00:36:55I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:58Oh, fine.
00:36:59I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:37:02I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:37:05You're treating me like shit.
00:37:08That's from the Renaissance.
00:37:09You are history's worst nightmare.
00:37:11I tried to make this work with you.
00:37:12We signed a contract.
00:37:13For an arranged marriage.
00:37:15Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:18You are such a simpleton.
00:37:22Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:37:25Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:37:27I tried to get along with you.
00:37:28You brought this on to yourself.
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:37:32Right back at you.
00:37:33I fucking hate you.
00:37:35I fucking hate you more.
00:37:37I wish I didn't get it, but what is your shit?
00:37:49What do you want to say?
00:37:51What do you want to say?
00:37:53I wish I didn't get it.
00:37:55I wish I didn't get it.
00:37:59I wish I didn't get it.
00:38:15I wish I didn't get it.
00:38:17I wish I didn't get it.
00:38:18Where am I?
00:38:42Who's spooning me?
00:38:45Is that Jake?
00:38:47How drunk was I?
00:38:54Michelangelo?
00:38:55Dog Walker.
00:38:57Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:39:02Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:03Uh-huh.
00:39:05We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:08We had too many drinks, but just forget it ever happened.
00:39:11If that's what you want.
00:39:14Definitely.
00:39:14Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:20I should get up, too.
00:39:23Oh, my head.
00:39:25There's Pedialine in the fridge.
00:39:26Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:30Of course.
00:39:31My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:36Well, you look great.
00:39:38Thanks.
00:39:39I don't feel great.
00:39:41The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:44But you, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:39:49What's going on?
00:39:53So...
00:39:54Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:56Wait.
00:39:58For the first time?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:01We're taking it slow.
00:40:04Michelangelo.
00:40:05The male gigolo.
00:40:06I was taking it slow.
00:40:10Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:40:13And...
00:40:13How was it?
00:40:17Well...
00:40:17Really bad.
00:40:18Right?
00:40:19I knew it.
00:40:20Actually...
00:40:21It was the best sex I ever had?
00:40:25Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:27So...
00:40:27I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:32Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:34That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:37I don't get it.
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike, and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:42I feel like...
00:40:43Like an arcade game, and he just keeps getting the high score again and again, and...
00:40:47You get the picture.
00:40:50Hey.
00:40:53Opposites attract.
00:40:54Like, I mean, that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:58Because you're so different.
00:41:01Something like that.
00:41:10Here it comes.
00:41:11Right on the schedule.
00:41:13Dog walker's in love with me.
00:41:16I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:18Weird.
00:41:19I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:24What was that about?
00:41:32Must be the hangover.
00:41:42Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:44Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:46Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:16I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But last night, I...
00:42:46You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:49And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:42:52Like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand it.
00:42:55You just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one-night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay, I get it.
00:43:06I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:43:18And frankly, so would I.
00:43:19I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:22Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait.
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:32Amelia?
00:43:34What happened to dog walker?
00:43:36I have a confession to make.
00:43:42Last night, I don't know how, I don't know why,
00:43:47but that was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:52Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:55I'm not a good actor.
00:43:57I could even do reality TV.
00:44:00But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:03Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:44:08You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:13Please.
00:44:15I know you felt it too.
00:44:22Amelia, please.
00:44:23Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:27I felt it too.
00:44:32So why are we fighting it?
00:44:35I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38Me too.
00:44:38I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:39I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:40I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:41I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:42I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:43I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:44I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:45I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:46I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:47I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:48I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:49I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:50I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:51I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:52I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:53I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:54I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:55I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:56I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:57I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:58so i set the kitchen on fire how am i supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball
00:45:18shots on fire it's not my fault they should change the name no wonder they canceled vanderpump
00:45:26super yacht if you think that's funny just wait till the next episode the captain gets super drunk off
00:45:31espresso martinis and he almost sinks the boat you know when you're not acting like a complete
00:45:42douchebag you're not so bad thanks you know we could actually try this hey if the sex stays this
00:45:52good i'm open for anything i'm serious the wedding's coming up we could give it a shot
00:46:00you mean like you and me together together why not were you planning on marrying someone else
00:46:07oh gucci what's the rush
00:46:23oh hey royce jake how's it going good yeah look the other night was kind of crazy i know
00:46:40i should have told you about michelangelo we were kind of in a fight i'm sorry for bringing you into
00:46:47this is he always like that so aggressive and controlling i couldn't believe the way he just
00:46:53dragged you off like that he was like a caveman lugging home his woman well i am his woman
00:46:59he saw us together and he got jealous and i don't blame him oh my god am i actually sticking up for
00:47:07michelangelo di novolino i didn't mean a pride just wanted to make sure everything's okay
00:47:14i'm here if you need to talk thanks jake but i'm engaged remember and the only person i want to talk
00:47:23to is my fiance we had a connection you're a cat person it never would have worked
00:47:30come on gucci let's go
00:47:32cats are awesome
00:47:37that was a great presentation the marketing director loved your ideas for the new line
00:47:46you think so
00:47:47maybe i'm finally starting to hang in the ceo thing
00:47:51oh yeah yeah now listen i gotta fly to paris for a few days you mind watching uh your little brother
00:47:58for me gucci sure but i mean you know dogs are more amelia's specialty
00:48:03yeah but that's how you impress her you invite her for a romantic date at the dog park
00:48:09at the dog park
00:48:09mm-hmm i just texted her it's all set
00:48:12no go get her lover boy
00:48:16so you just throw it and he brings it back
00:48:30you've never played fetch
00:48:31it's my dad's dog not mine
00:48:35let me try
00:48:38that's okay i know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands
00:48:43do you ever get tired of the dog stuff
00:48:48no i like my work
00:48:52what's the point in working if you never get a chance to
00:48:55have fun
00:48:56you're right i should work less
00:48:59if nothing else
00:49:02you're letting me get closer to my little brother
00:49:04fetch gucci
00:49:09i've got a big surprise
00:49:15a surprise
00:49:17just wait and see
00:49:18what's that
00:49:36special delivery from masterione's italian deli
00:49:40but gucci
00:49:43it's your favorite prosciutto
00:49:45you know that's awful for dogs right
00:49:49i thought you were
00:49:51off the clock today
00:49:53besides a special occasion
00:49:55i also thought we could use his water bowl
00:49:59to pour a little chianti into it
00:50:01no kidding
00:50:03this is for us
00:50:04why don't you get us a coarse cream
00:50:06what else is in the bag
00:50:08just some imported italian ingredients
00:50:10so i can make you a real italian dinner
00:50:12you can cook
00:50:14that was so good
00:50:29i feel like i just
00:50:31went to italy even though i've never been
00:50:33how did you
00:50:35do this i can't cook at all
00:50:37making italian food is one of my favorite things to do
00:50:40did you learn in culinary school
00:50:41no
00:50:42my mom taught me
00:50:44tell me about her
00:50:46i've never told a girl about my mom
00:50:49sorry
00:50:50i don't mean to pray
00:50:52she
00:50:53passed away when i was 11
00:50:55breast cancer
00:50:57but
00:50:58i have a lot of good memories of her
00:51:00she grew up in a little village in tuscany
00:51:03and
00:51:03she taught me everything i know about cooking
00:51:06we'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing
00:51:11i still have all of her recipes
00:51:15here
00:51:16handwritten in italian
00:51:18that's really special
00:51:20i miss her
00:51:23this might sound corny but
00:51:26i feel a little closer to her when i make her recipes
00:51:30it's not corny
00:51:31but i didn't know you were such a softy
00:51:34just don't tell tmz
00:51:37what about your parents
00:51:39my parents died in a car accident
00:51:42when i was 13
00:51:44it's been me and betsy ever since
00:51:47i'm sorry
00:51:48i just really hope these treatments work
00:51:51i don't want to lose her too
00:51:55i'm sorry
00:51:57your story made me emotional
00:51:59i'm gonna go do the dishes
00:52:01i'll help you
00:52:02no no it's fine
00:52:03i like doing the dishes
00:52:05it relaxes me
00:52:06good
00:52:07because i hate them
00:52:09well then i guess we make a good team
00:52:11is it just the wine
00:52:17or am i really falling for
00:52:19him
00:52:20her
00:52:20hey
00:52:34hey
00:52:35do you want an espresso
00:52:37i just figured out how to make the machine work
00:52:39no thank you
00:52:41i need to have a morning medium
00:52:42i'm kind of in a rush
00:52:43okay well
00:52:43don't forget gucci
00:52:45how could i
00:52:46ready bro
00:52:49well let me fix your tie
00:52:51what do you know about ties
00:52:54you wear t-shirts to work
00:52:56and you wore man thongs two weeks ago
00:52:59touche
00:53:00there you go
00:53:02okay bye
00:53:03bye
00:53:04love you
00:53:08love you too
00:53:09sorry
00:53:19reflex
00:53:20i didn't mean to say that
00:53:21me neither
00:53:22too soon
00:53:23talk about it later
00:53:26yeah
00:53:27okay
00:53:29okay
00:53:29ugh could that have been any more awkward
00:53:32and is michelangelo really in love with me
00:53:36look who's here
00:53:42hey
00:53:43my little guy
00:53:44hey little gucci
00:53:46look at this right here
00:53:48huh
00:53:49let's try
00:53:51oh yeah now here's mine
00:53:55just like that
00:53:57even got one for big brother
00:54:00right there
00:54:01come to papa
00:54:03yes my boy
00:54:04all right
00:54:07all right
00:54:07all right
00:54:07so we gotta talk about this
00:54:09this wedding
00:54:10right this is two weeks off
00:54:11hollywood bowl
00:54:12they're waiting for an answer
00:54:14and i bumped into chris martin on the plane
00:54:17he says the band is free
00:54:19you like cold play
00:54:21you like cold play right
00:54:21dad
00:54:22we can't have the wedding at the hollywood bowl
00:54:24cool
00:54:25well all right
00:54:27then we'll book the magic castle
00:54:29how about that
00:54:30not too big
00:54:30plenty room for cold play
00:54:31huh
00:54:32dad
00:54:33let's just pump the brakes
00:54:34we cannot plan a wedding like this
00:54:37what
00:54:37something wrong with Amelia
00:54:39no
00:54:40everything is great
00:54:42it's better than great
00:54:44honestly
00:54:44but we cannot have a big flashy wedding
00:54:48that's our thing
00:54:50it's not Amelia's thing
00:54:51i think it'd make her uncomfortable
00:54:54wow
00:54:56i never thought of that
00:54:57you know you have a very good point
00:55:00dad
00:55:00i'm very impressed
00:55:03you've never acted like this
00:55:06with any other woman
00:55:07i can't say i've ever felt like this
00:55:10with another girl
00:55:11sounds like you might be falling in love
00:55:14love
00:55:15yeah
00:55:17i don't know
00:55:19he's cute
00:55:21all right all right
00:55:23change the deal
00:55:24gonna cancel the hollywood bowl
00:55:26all right
00:55:27and then we'll have a nice small
00:55:28intimate affair
00:55:30a wedding
00:55:31with cold play
00:55:32no cold play dad
00:55:34no cold play
00:55:36so
00:55:43it's about my cancer treatment
00:55:46it's not working
00:55:48i know it
00:55:49i talked to my doctors yesterday
00:55:52and i'm cured
00:55:54what
00:55:55you're cured
00:55:57oh
00:55:58congratulations
00:56:00thank you
00:56:01i wasn't expecting it
00:56:04i didn't think i would be cured
00:56:05in only two sessions
00:56:06it only took two sessions
00:56:09i almost had enough in my savings
00:56:11to cover that
00:56:12maybe i didn't need the dina volino's money
00:56:15what's wrong sis
00:56:17we should be celebrating
00:56:19i brought prosecco
00:56:20no
00:56:22yeah
00:56:22no i'm good
00:56:24yeah
00:56:25amelia
00:56:26i'm your sister
00:56:28you can tell me anything
00:56:29is it michelangelo
00:56:32is everything okay
00:56:34if that punk pretty boy hurts you
00:56:37i will take that man thong
00:56:38and give him a wedgie so far up his butt
00:56:41that it will cut him in two
00:56:42it's not michelangelo
00:56:45let's see
00:56:45it's me
00:56:48i have to tell you something
00:56:51i cannot believe
00:56:57that they convinced you to do
00:56:58an arranged marriage
00:57:00what is this game of thrones
00:57:03it's the only way that i could pay for your treatments
00:57:05and you know that i would do anything for you
00:57:07actually
00:57:09he's not that bad
00:57:12i kind of like him
00:57:14yeah
00:57:16babe
00:57:17that's called stockholm syndrome
00:57:18we need to get you out of there
00:57:20betsy
00:57:21i have
00:57:23real feelings for him
00:57:25but
00:57:26what about the tabloid stories
00:57:29you heard what he did to that floozy in disney world
00:57:32they banned him
00:57:34for life
00:57:35you'll never go to epcot
00:57:36he's not actually like the stories
00:57:39or
00:57:40at least not to me
00:57:42he's only acting like that to get into your pants amelia
00:57:46if you marry michelangelo
00:57:49he will make your life a living hell
00:57:52what if you meet him
00:57:55yeah
00:57:56meet him
00:57:57maybe he'll change your mind
00:57:59maybe
00:57:59maybe you'll actually like him
00:58:01don't count on it
00:58:02please
00:58:03me
00:58:04just give him a chance
00:58:05fine
00:58:07yes
00:58:09only one
00:58:10yes
00:58:10you won't regret it
00:58:14i'm gonna go get the prosecco
00:58:15you better bring the whole bottle
00:58:19thank you for making dinner
00:58:24of course
00:58:26i'm glad she's cancer free
00:58:28we need to celebrate
00:58:29michelangelo
00:58:32you know that betsy is the most important person in the world to me
00:58:37right
00:58:37you mean besides me
00:58:38i'm serious
00:58:39it's really important to me that you two get along
00:58:42have a glass of wine
00:58:44tonight's gonna be great
00:58:47it's enormous
00:58:58why would anybody need so much room
00:59:03it's nice to see you too sis
00:59:07nice to finally meet you
00:59:10betsy
00:59:11so
00:59:14this is the
00:59:15infamous
00:59:17uh
00:59:18michelangelo
00:59:19how about we start off with a glass of champagne
00:59:24$96 Dom Perignon
00:59:26Amelia said that's the year that you were born
00:59:27yeah
00:59:29sorry i can't drink that fancy stuff
00:59:31it's worth more than my car
00:59:33why would anybody spend that much on a drink
00:59:35$8.99 at Ralph's
00:59:39it's delicious
00:59:40this was made in France
00:59:43sorry
00:59:44can't touch that stuff
00:59:46so
00:59:47who wants a drink
00:59:49you hardly touch your food
01:00:11it's a little too rich for me
01:00:16mine tastes great
01:00:19so michelangelo
01:00:22i have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up
01:00:27you don't mind
01:00:28you don't mind do you
01:00:29fire away
01:00:30so i know you two have been having your
01:00:34fun
01:00:36um
01:00:37but
01:00:38what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off
01:00:43i don't think it's going to go to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious
01:00:58betsy
01:00:59betsy
01:00:59look
01:01:00i know i have a past
01:01:02but
01:01:03i'm committed to it
01:01:05we haven't talked about kids but
01:01:07i'm open to anything
01:01:08see michelangelo that's my point
01:01:10you two are getting married
01:01:12and you barely know each other
01:01:14we know
01:01:15easy betsy
01:01:17i just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon
01:01:21and if you really cared about amelia
01:01:23you would give her the time
01:01:26and what makes you such an expert
01:01:27i don't see a ring on your finger
01:01:29michelangelo
01:01:31you probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now
01:01:34it's no wonder amelia was so uptight when i met her
01:01:36she gets it from you
01:01:36are you gonna let him talk to me like that amelia
01:01:40you started it
01:01:42why don't we all just calm down
01:01:50betsy's just looking out for my best interest
01:01:52no
01:01:53she's alone and miserable
01:01:54and trying to drag you down with her
01:01:56that's not fair michelangelo
01:01:58she's not been fair to me since she walked through the door
01:02:00you're the horniest bastard in beverly hills
01:02:02and you're a frigid lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy
01:02:06you know what
01:02:06you can't talk to betsy like that
01:02:08that's my sister she just survived cancer
01:02:10that doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house
01:02:16this is my house too and she can say whatever she wants
01:02:19not to me
01:02:20you know maybe she should be concerned
01:02:22i don't like this side of you
01:02:23see i told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other
01:02:26but i guess the contract doesn't allow for that
01:02:28you told her
01:02:29she's my sister
01:02:31i don't care that violates our agreement
01:02:33oh is that all i am to you
01:02:34a contractual agreement some kind of obligation
01:02:37it's not what i meant
01:02:39it came out wrong amelia
01:02:40i love you
01:02:42you love me
01:02:44don't listen to him
01:02:46he doesn't even know what that means
01:02:47shut the fuck up
01:02:48you know what maybe she was right i shouldn't have signed that contract it's over
01:02:53we need to get out of here
01:03:01i've seen too many true crime documentaries on netflix to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets
01:03:06emilia
01:03:11i know this is hard to hear
01:03:13but
01:03:14you did the right thing
01:03:17you do so much better than him
01:03:19yeah
01:03:20but he isn't a monster
01:03:23i shouldn't have said that
01:03:24we can talk about it on the road
01:03:26get packing
01:03:28and if we leave now
01:03:30we can get to mexico by dawn
01:03:31play low for a bit
01:03:32mexico
01:03:33or canada
01:03:34whatever
01:03:35it's that or stay here and get sued
01:03:37by the dino lovinos
01:03:39or worse
01:03:41i don't think romulus and michelangelo would sue us
01:03:44i mean
01:03:44i only told you about the contract
01:03:47it's not like i told the media
01:03:48you don't know that
01:03:50we're
01:03:51liabilities
01:03:53loose ends
01:03:54you should listen to more true crime podcast
01:03:56get rid of that thing
01:04:02they could be tracking us right now
01:04:04yeah you know michelangelo did manage to follow me to the echoplex the other night
01:04:09see
01:04:11he could have a sniper on us
01:04:14it's romulus
01:04:18hey romulus
01:04:19what
01:04:21what do you mean gucci's missing
01:04:26you came
01:04:37against my better judgment
01:04:40i'm not happy you've been blowing me off
01:04:43i've just been busy
01:04:45but
01:04:45it's over with now
01:04:48you should
01:04:50punish me for straying
01:04:52you make me sick
01:04:55i make me sick
01:04:57nice
01:05:06underwear
01:05:08great craftsmanship
01:05:11okay
01:05:16let's get this over with
01:05:18is that all you have to say
01:05:22do you even realize how hot i am
01:05:25i'm
01:05:26sorry
01:05:27chantel
01:05:29i thought i wanted this
01:05:32but i don't
01:05:34i'm not the stud that i used to be
01:05:39amelia broke up with me
01:05:43it feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes
01:05:50never in a million years did i think i'd fall for a dog walk with my hair i am fucking devastated
01:05:57and all her wishes i could take back how i acted
01:06:00i just wanted to come back to me
01:06:03i just wanted to come back to me
01:06:07there
01:06:09amelia
01:06:13hi dad
01:06:15gucci's gone
01:06:18i'll be right there
01:06:20i'll be right there
01:06:27gucci gucci
01:06:28gucci
01:06:29romulus
01:06:30what oh
01:06:30oh
01:06:32well i i only had him off the leash for a second you know
01:06:36we're practically in the house and then all of a sudden
01:06:39he just shot off like a rocket
01:06:41i've been calling him all night but he won't come back
01:06:44well we can help you find him
01:06:47yeah
01:06:48right
01:06:49oh
01:06:50good thanks
01:06:52gucci
01:06:54this better not be a trap
01:06:55just come on
01:06:57gucci
01:06:59gucci
01:07:00gucci
01:07:01gucci
01:07:02hey where's becalangelo
01:07:03huh i thought you were both together
01:07:05why isn't he here with you
01:07:06Oh, um, he's...
01:07:08Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:10Where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late-night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:07:14It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:16This doesn't ring out of hiding.
01:07:18Nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, dude.
01:07:22Here, ladies, take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:07:28Amelia.
01:07:36Gucci!
01:07:48He's hopeless.
01:07:50We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:52We're never gonna find him.
01:07:54Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:56He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:58Keep looking. He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:08:00See?
01:08:02They're not gonna kill us.
01:08:04I do have to admit, though,
01:08:06I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:08He's really there for his dad.
01:08:10His dad's dog.
01:08:12So you approve now?
01:08:14They didn't say that.
01:08:18Gucci!
01:08:22Gucci!
01:08:24My boy's back!
01:08:26Oh!
01:08:28Okay, okay.
01:08:34I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:44I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:50A little.
01:08:52It's okay.
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:56They just leave out part of the story.
01:09:00Amelia.
01:09:02Can we talk?
01:09:06Please?
01:09:10Amelia.
01:09:11Can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:15Okay.
01:09:16Amelia.
01:09:26Amelia.
01:09:27I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:30I shouldn't have attacked your sister.
01:09:32And I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract.
01:09:34I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement.
01:09:44Thanks for saying that.
01:09:47I needed to hear that.
01:09:50And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:53You're not one.
01:09:55I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:58Most of them are good.
01:10:01I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:05I'm not.
01:10:08You're not?
01:10:09What do you mean?
01:10:12Amelia, this might sound crazy, but...
01:10:16I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:19And I don't want some silly piece of paper to pee the reason that we stay together.
01:10:25I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:30Dad.
01:10:31What is this on?
01:10:32I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:10:36Why, son?
01:10:38Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:42And not because of some legal obligation.
01:10:47But because she wants to.
01:10:48Consider our contract, Noel and Boyd.
01:10:49Amelia.
01:10:50Where will it be?
01:10:51Will you marry me?
01:10:52Will you marry me?
01:10:53Will you marry me?
01:10:54Yes.
01:10:55I'll marry you.
01:10:56Yes.
01:10:57I'll marry you.
01:10:58I'll marry you.
01:10:59I'll marry you.
01:11:00I'll marry you.
01:11:01I'll marry you.
01:11:02I'll marry you.
01:11:03I'll marry you.
01:11:04I'll marry you.
01:11:05I'll marry you.
01:11:06I'll marry you.
01:11:07I'll marry you.
01:11:08I'll marry you.
01:11:09I'll marry you.
01:11:11I'll marry you.
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes, I'll marry you.
01:11:32You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:11:36And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:38Look at me. I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:44All right, all right, you two. That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together. Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast Italian style.
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved, especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:10It was worth a try.
01:12:11And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:12Michelangelo?
01:12:13And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:14Michelangelo?
01:12:15Ah, Amelia.
01:12:16Amelia.
01:12:17Amelia.
01:12:18Amelia.
01:12:19And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:22Michelangelo?
01:12:23Amelia.
01:12:24Amelia.
01:12:25Even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:12:27I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time, and not just about dogs, but
01:12:30I've learned so much from you.
01:12:31I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time.
01:12:32And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia, even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time, and not just about dogs.
01:12:57I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:02I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:13:25Amelia, you are the only thing better than free underwear.
01:13:36I love you so much.
01:13:38I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model.
01:13:48But here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell, and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:13:55Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:13:59And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime, in a good way.
01:14:08I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:14:11Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:14With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:23Thanks.
01:14:33I'm Betsy, Amelia's sister.
01:14:37I'm Jake, another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy, you know, given my sister, but I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too!
01:14:46Woo!
01:14:48Woo-hoo-hoo!
01:14:49Oh!
01:14:50That's...
01:14:51That's a great one!
01:15:02Woo!
01:15:03Woo!
01:15:04Woo!
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