- 3 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:20Is that where she keeps it?
00:00:21Mm-hmm.
00:00:30.
00:00:51.
00:00:56Oh, my God.
00:01:26Oh, my God.
00:01:56Oh, my God.
00:02:25Oh, my God.
00:02:55Oh, my God.
00:03:25Oh, my God.
00:03:55Oh, my God.
00:03:57Oh, my God.
00:03:59Oh, my God.
00:04:01Oh, my God.
00:04:03Oh, my God.
00:04:05Oh, my God.
00:04:07Oh, my God.
00:04:09Oh, my God.
00:04:11Oh, my God.
00:04:13Oh, my God.
00:04:15Oh, my God.
00:04:17Oh, my God.
00:04:19Oh, my God.
00:04:23Oh, my God.
00:04:25Oh, my God.
00:04:27Oh, my God.
00:04:29Oh, my God.
00:04:33Oh, my God.
00:04:35And I'm Merlin the magician.
00:04:37Yeah. Now be off with you, princess of beggars.
00:04:41You'll be sorry.
00:04:42You're the one that's gonna be sorry.
00:04:44Let's get her.
00:04:51No, boys.
00:04:52Who the hell are you?
00:04:55Ordinarily, I don't mind seeing a woman get a good beating if she deserves it.
00:04:58Yeah.
00:04:59But this doesn't look like much of a contest to me.
00:05:02You picked the wrong town to stop in, stranger.
00:05:06He's gonna stop here permanent.
00:05:07You know who we are.
00:05:11The village idiot and the two runners up.
00:05:14Get him!
00:05:28Hey, take it easy. I don't even know these guys.
00:05:32Hey.
00:05:46Hi.
00:05:48What?
00:05:58Hey!
00:05:58Hey!
00:05:59Hey!
00:06:00Hey!
00:06:00Hey!
00:06:01Hey!
00:06:01Whoa!
00:06:19Whoa!
00:06:21Whoa!
00:06:23Oh, get some memory.
00:06:31Whoa!
00:06:33Whoa!
00:06:35Whoa!
00:06:37Whoa!
00:06:43You know, I got a nice big room upstairs.
00:06:51What do you say, the three of us go up there and...
00:06:53I need to talk to you.
00:06:55Line form's a little right.
00:06:57You gotta help me!
00:06:59That's my policy.
00:07:01It's a matter of life and death!
00:07:03Do the words walk east till your hat floats mean anything to you?
00:07:07Hey, you princess!
00:07:09I thought we told you to get out of town!
00:07:21Come here!
00:07:23Look at him!
00:07:25You gotta go!
00:07:27Oh, damn!
00:07:28Come on, man!
00:07:29Come on, man!
00:07:35What the hell are you?
00:07:36Whoa!
00:07:39Whoa!
00:07:43Whoa!
00:07:44Whoa!
00:07:45Whoa!
00:07:46Whoa!
00:07:47Whoa!
00:07:48Whoa!
00:07:49Whoa!
00:07:50Whoa!
00:07:51Whoa!
00:07:52Whoa!
00:07:53Let's go.
00:08:23Come on, get back.
00:08:33What are you doing?
00:08:35Look out!
00:08:37Behind you!
00:08:50Ah, give me your son.
00:08:53Come on! Come on! The back door! Let's go!
00:09:14Get out of here!
00:09:19After them! Two hundred men!
00:09:24Yah! Yah!
00:09:29Yah!
00:09:54I'm Evie!
00:09:57Deathstalker!
00:09:59Deathstalker?
00:10:00Uh-huh!
00:10:01Is that your first name or your last name?
00:10:03They're getting it!
00:10:04They're getting it!
00:10:05They're getting it!
00:10:06They're getting it!
00:10:14They're getting it!
00:10:15They're getting it!
00:10:16They're getting it!
00:10:17Woo-hoo!
00:10:19Co-hoo!
00:10:21Go cut real!
00:10:23How could it happen?
00:10:24We'll be dead.
00:10:26Yup!
00:10:28Whoop, whoop, whoop!
00:10:30Whoop, whoop, whoop her!
00:10:32you're good helps in my line of work what line of work is that oh i like to call it the wealth
00:10:54redistribution business oh so you rob from the rich and give to the poor no i rob from the rich
00:11:00and pretty much keep it do you think we lost them you gotta get up pretty early in the morning to catch
00:11:06the prince of thieves it is pretty early in the morning
00:11:11hold it which way they go let them know you go north i'll have some i'll double back we'll meet here
00:11:35yeah i think we finally lost them
00:11:46starving here just a second haven't had a thing to eat since last night of the boots
00:11:53here try it it's my specialty oh your specialty huh
00:12:02like it
00:12:05thank you that was great great boy you must have really been hungry
00:12:21more oh no couldn't eat another bite couldn't eat another bite
00:12:27i know i kind of messed things up for you before
00:12:30excuse me just struck me funny
00:12:35but i'm willing to make it up to you i'm listening
00:12:39i can tell your future no really i'm a seer it's a gift i've had since childhood
00:12:45okay things can't get much worse i guess shoot
00:12:49spirits of tomorrow hear my call
00:12:55i want to keep that to a minimum i see you embarking on a heroic quest
00:13:03it shall become legend and storytellers shall recount your many exploits down through the ages
00:13:09well i sure hope they get my name right
00:13:11an image is coming to me
00:13:14yes i see it so clear
00:13:17a young woman
00:13:18no a princess
00:13:21a princess is she rich
00:13:23she's calling to you
00:13:25help me help me death stalker
00:13:28only you can save me
00:13:30she's in trouble
00:13:31oh big trouble
00:13:33a matter of life or death
00:13:35why
00:13:36what
00:13:38i see someone else
00:13:40dark and evil
00:13:41this is bad
00:13:43this is real bad
00:13:45the princess is being imprisoned by
00:13:47jerek
00:13:48an evil sorcerer
00:13:50are there any other kind
00:13:51he's also a great swordsman
00:13:54even greater than death stalker
00:13:56better than me
00:13:57wait
00:13:58he's laughing at you
00:14:00come and get me death stalker
00:14:04if you dare
00:14:05what
00:14:06this sorcerer
00:14:07where do i find him
00:14:08in the land of
00:14:09jaffir
00:14:10where the hell is that
00:14:12oh it's a long and perilous journey
00:14:14oh figures
00:14:15many dangers
00:14:16witches
00:14:17dragons
00:14:18ogres
00:14:18must got down on the tourist trade
00:14:20you shall confront them all
00:14:22emerge victorious
00:14:24and reap a fabulous reward
00:14:25the all-seen eye never lies
00:14:28and this is going to get me into the legends
00:14:31right up there with conan
00:14:33oh
00:14:34whoa
00:14:37sorry
00:14:41you all right
00:14:42yes
00:14:43what about the reward
00:14:44when i know more you know more
00:14:46well that settles it then
00:14:48i'm out of here
00:14:49where you going
00:14:51let's go
00:14:53not getting any younger you know
00:14:55go
00:14:55to jaffir now
00:14:58you got it sis
00:14:59wait a minute
00:15:01wait a minute
00:15:02there's still more soap
00:15:05next
00:15:22have you found the princess yet
00:15:27i'm working on it
00:15:28she won't get far
00:15:29you should have never let her escape
00:15:33she might come back and take a throw
00:15:35a waif pretending to be a princess
00:15:39who would believe it
00:15:41why don't you just kill her
00:15:44evie darling
00:15:47we've gone over this a dozen times before
00:15:50i created you from the original soul of the princess
00:15:55an exact duplicate in all respects
00:15:57unfortunately i haven't had time to work out the bugs
00:16:00in other words
00:16:05if she dies
00:16:06you die
00:16:08but once i've made a few minor adjustments in the formula
00:16:11i can duplicate anyone
00:16:13then eliminate the original
00:16:14now my dear
00:16:15please run along
00:16:16these brief practice sessions are the
00:16:18only leisure i allow myself
00:16:20and i enjoy them so much more
00:16:24alone
00:16:24i'll be in my chamber
00:16:29waiting
00:16:30as you wish my dear
00:16:32as you wish
00:16:33next
00:16:35sultana
00:16:39you know how i hate standing in line
00:16:43you look marvelous
00:16:45lovely as a rose
00:16:47we can dispense with the pleasantries
00:16:49if you don't mind
00:16:50after what you've done to me
00:16:52i'd hardly call this visit a pleasure
00:16:54whatever do you mean my dear
00:16:55you never would have been able to put that little blonde bitch of yours up on the throne
00:16:59without my help
00:17:00let alone get rid of the real one
00:17:02you were paid handsomely
00:17:04i did not come here to bicker with you jerak my dear
00:17:07i have a proposition for you
00:17:09you wish to have the princess evie return to you
00:17:11i wish to settle a score with a certain varlet who is escorting her back here
00:17:16i have a man shadowing them now
00:17:18doubtless you'll remember chin the buccaneer
00:17:20chin the one eye
00:17:22the man's a second-rate amateur
00:17:24in any event you will assist him
00:17:26evie is mine
00:17:27and the meddler
00:17:28death stalker
00:17:30death stalker
00:17:32oh very well he's yours enjoy
00:17:35done
00:17:36always a pleasure sultana
00:17:40likewise i'm sure
00:17:41next
00:18:02which way oh mighty oracle
00:18:12why did they call you the prince of thieves
00:18:15some of the best
00:18:18but you're not a real prince
00:18:19which way
00:18:20the west road
00:18:23are you sure
00:18:24absolutely
00:18:25the crystal ball never lets me down
00:18:27the west road
00:18:29you sure about that
00:18:30west road
00:18:32if you had the chance to marry a real princess
00:18:36would you do it
00:18:37no i wouldn't
00:18:38why not
00:18:39because being a princess brings out the worst
00:18:42always whining and pouting and acting like a spoiled little brat
00:18:45if they don't get their own way off
00:19:00give it to me chin what do you got
00:19:04that stalker's as good as in the grave
00:19:06look sailor
00:19:08don't carve a tombstone so readily
00:19:10he has as many lives as a cat
00:19:12and remember
00:19:13the last one belongs to me
00:19:16if he's made of flesh and blood
00:19:18he can die
00:19:19never underestimate the strength of an enemy
00:19:22especially an accomplished fighter like stalker
00:19:25you telling me how to do my job sultana
00:19:27just giving you some friendly advice
00:19:29well keep it to yourself
00:19:30i'll bring stalker to you on a platter
00:19:33like a piece of raw meat
00:19:35oh yeah
00:19:36yeah
00:19:37i've got just the butchers to do it
00:19:39say hello to crazy auto reingold
00:19:42the mad prussian
00:19:43solely responsible for the lemurian massacres
00:19:46that killed hundreds and left thousands homeless
00:19:48i'm sure you recognize
00:19:49ed the hedge shemansky
00:19:51five years on the genghis khan strike force
00:19:53part-time consultant to atelier the hun
00:19:55next john the baptist bombasso
00:19:58drowning the specialty
00:19:59beside him
00:20:01nick the crippler of cashmere
00:20:03i think his name says it all
00:20:04and last but not least
00:20:07a real find
00:20:07buddy footstool rosa
00:20:09only recently dismissed by ivan the terrible
00:20:12for excessive brutality
00:20:14still skeptical
00:20:17you bet i am
00:20:20suit yourself
00:20:22come on boys
00:20:24okay men
00:20:34let him have it
00:20:35close men
00:20:44but don't kill
00:20:45not yet
00:20:45don't kill
00:20:55so
00:20:57that's actually
00:20:57how about
00:20:58me
00:20:58do
00:21:00a
00:21:01to
00:21:01and
00:21:03i
00:21:04you
00:21:05to
00:21:06i
00:21:06want
00:21:06to
00:21:07Let's go.
00:21:37I think we'd better find another way.
00:21:40Oh, really? You think so?
00:21:42West Road, right.
00:21:44Who are they?
00:21:48You tell me. You're the seer.
00:21:49Well, they're trying to kill us.
00:21:52Somebody give the lady a cigar.
00:21:55Look, they were trying to kill us.
00:21:56They could have done it way back down the road.
00:21:59No, they're after something.
00:22:01You sure you're telling me everything?
00:22:02I told you it was going to be a long and perilous journey, didn't I?
00:22:05Yeah, yeah, witches, ogres, all that bad stuff.
00:22:07You and your visions.
00:22:19Nothing's come in handy.
00:22:23Where you going?
00:22:25Just stay put.
00:22:26I want to help.
00:22:27You've done plenty already.
00:22:28That'll be fine, boys.
00:22:37Save your arrows.
00:22:38No!
00:22:58No!
00:23:00No!
00:23:01No!
00:23:02No!
00:23:02No!
00:23:02Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:23:32Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:24:02Oh, no, no, no.
00:24:32Huh?
00:24:35Throw your sword down, or I'll cut her pretty little throat.
00:24:40Go ahead.
00:24:41Cut it.
00:24:42You rat!
00:24:44Cut!
00:24:48You were gonna let him kill me!
00:24:51Now, would I do a thing like that?
00:24:54Come on, let's go find that horse and get the hell out of here.
00:24:56Oh, and, uh, would you mind taking that knife out of that guy for me?
00:25:00It's the only one I got left.
00:25:04Oh!
00:25:07Wait a minute!
00:25:08Why do you want to know?
00:25:09Were you really going to let him kill me?
00:25:11Yes, doctor!
00:25:11You weren't really going to let him kill me, were you?
00:25:14Huh?
00:25:14No, you wouldn't do that.
00:25:15Yes, doctor!
00:25:23Ah, you're back.
00:25:25Minus the fearless five.
00:25:27You should have listened to me.
00:25:29You want a bitch?
00:25:30Bitch to Jarek.
00:25:31I'm calling him right now.
00:25:47What news have you?
00:25:48Bad news, Lord Jarek.
00:25:50I hate bad news.
00:25:51It spoils my day.
00:25:53I got an idea.
00:25:54Come close.
00:25:55I'll kill that son of a bitch if it kills me.
00:26:00You may rest assured that it will.
00:26:02I'll kill that son of a bitch if it kills me.
00:26:07Ah!
00:26:07Ah!
00:26:14Ah!
00:26:15So long, sailor.
00:26:37Well, look what we have here.
00:26:41Pookie, huh?
00:26:44Yeah.
00:26:45Stalker, I still don't understand why you want to break in there.
00:26:54Because we're broke, that's why.
00:26:56What's that got to do with anything?
00:26:59That's a family mausoleum.
00:27:01There are probably more jewels in there than we could carry out.
00:27:07You're about to become a very rich woman.
00:27:10I was just starting to enjoy poverty.
00:27:12Come on, where's your sense of adventure?
00:27:14This isn't adventure, it's just damn scary.
00:27:17Yeah, but when the legend's told, I want people to think we face this bravely.
00:27:24When the legend's told, nobody's going to believe we were this stupid.
00:27:27Stalker, I heard somewhere it was bad luck to walk over graves.
00:27:34I heard it was only the open ones.
00:27:37Wait a minute.
00:27:38What?
00:27:39I just remembered, my hut.
00:27:42I left the door unlocked.
00:27:43We've got to go back.
00:27:45You don't have a door.
00:27:46I don't?
00:27:47No.
00:27:48Oh, yeah.
00:27:51What was that?
00:27:55The wind.
00:27:56It should get oiled.
00:27:58It came from in there.
00:28:00You bet it did.
00:28:03Stalker, you're not really going in there.
00:28:13Don't go in there, it's dark.
00:28:15Look, relax, will you?
00:28:16Well, come on in, what are you waiting for?
00:28:26Oh, come on, it's a little smelly, but what could happen?
00:28:28Hey, Stalker!
00:28:45Stalker?
00:28:46Stalker?
00:28:58You know, sir, grave robbing is not only morally repulsive, but I believe it carries a rather stiff penalty in these parts.
00:29:25Who the hell are you?
00:29:26Forgive me for not introducing myself properly, but I assumed a person with even your limited deductive powers could have guessed.
00:29:34Jerick.
00:29:46Stalker!
00:29:56Get out of here!
00:30:06Stalker, get out of here!
00:30:07I'd offer you my hand, sir, but it's both tiring and inconvenient to be at two places at once, even for a sorcerer.
00:30:16So, if you'll be so good as to excuse me, I have a rather pressing engagement to attend to.
00:30:21And, oh, by the way, I've arranged one for you as well.
00:30:24Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:38Oh, the old crushing war routine, huh?
00:30:41You couldn't do better than this?
00:30:42Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:43Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:44Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:45Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:46Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:47Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:48Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:49Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:50Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:51Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:52Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:53Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:54Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:55Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:56Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:57Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:58Oh, son of a bitch.
00:30:59Oh, son of a bitch.
00:31:00Oh, son of a bitch.
00:31:01Oh, son of a bitch.
00:31:02Oh, son of a bitch.
00:31:03Oh, son of a bitch.
00:31:04Oh, son of a bitch.
00:31:05Oh, son of a bitch.
00:31:06God, we'll see her love around here someplace.
00:31:10Uh-huh.
00:31:19Stalker!
00:31:21Stalker!
00:31:36Stalker!
00:31:51Stalker!
00:31:52Uh!
00:31:53Ah!
00:31:54Ah!
00:32:01Ah!
00:32:02Stalker!
00:32:03Stalker!
00:32:05Ah!
00:32:06Get out of here!
00:32:07Ah!
00:32:08Ah!
00:32:13Gosh, leave me alone for five minutes.
00:32:15Look what happens.
00:32:17Come on!
00:32:20Come on!
00:32:21I'm coming!
00:32:22I'm coming!
00:32:23Come on!
00:32:34Yow!
00:32:35Yow!
00:32:36Come on!
00:32:37Yow!
00:32:38Don't you know another tune?
00:32:58Get out of here!
00:33:06It's happening again!
00:33:08Guards! Guards!
00:33:16No! No!
00:33:18No!
00:33:21Dinner is served, Your Majesty.
00:33:28You see the face on there?
00:33:34Too bad, police party, though.
00:33:35Come.
00:33:43I won't bite.
00:33:47Ah!
00:33:55Come on!
00:33:57Come on!
00:33:58No!
00:33:59No!
00:34:00No!
00:34:01No!
00:34:02No!
00:34:11No!
00:34:12No!
00:34:13No!
00:34:14You know, something funny is going on here.
00:34:31First, we get attacked by bandits.
00:34:34Then those damn zombies.
00:34:35What's next?
00:34:36Don't answer that.
00:34:39Every time, it's like they're waiting for us.
00:34:41This Jerick guy, he's playing for keeps.
00:34:44I told you the path would be filled with perils.
00:34:47Yeah, yeah.
00:34:48We can forget the legend if you want to.
00:34:50There's still time to turn back.
00:34:52The reward's still up for grabs, isn't it?
00:34:54Uh-huh.
00:34:55Who said anything about turning back?
00:34:58Not me.
00:35:01Here.
00:35:02Looks like you could use this.
00:35:05What are you going to use?
00:35:07Fire won't last but a few more minutes.
00:35:09It'll be all right.
00:35:11You sure?
00:35:12There's plenty of blanket here.
00:35:21I'm okay.
00:35:31Isn't it cozy?
00:35:33Yeah, I think so.
00:35:36Stalker?
00:35:37Hmm?
00:35:37Is that your sword?
00:35:39Or are you just happy to see me?
00:35:58Well, what's the old crystal ball say about this one?
00:36:01Just follow the road to Baggett, turn west of the tree that looks like a rock, where you cross a dry river bed, where the water is most shallow.
00:36:11What?
00:36:12Dry river?
00:36:12Just, just, just follow the mountains.
00:36:14Okay.
00:36:15Ain't going to be any zombies or anything, are there?
00:36:17It's a clear road.
00:36:19No surprises.
00:36:20No surprises.
00:36:21No surprises.
00:36:23No surprises?
00:36:24Some Oracle you turned out to be.
00:36:26Three out of four is not bad.
00:36:28Oh, my God, you ought to.
00:36:36Rough crowd.
00:36:37Look, I, I...
00:36:49Let me do the talking.
00:36:52Now, listen.
00:36:53I think there's been some mistake, or maybe you haven't heard of me.
00:36:55Silence!
00:36:57Haven't we met before?
00:36:59No, no, no, no, no.
00:37:00I don't think so.
00:37:01I would have remembered.
00:37:02You look a lot, like Evie of Jaffir, the demon princess, who raids our camps and burns our crops and steals our men.
00:37:11Me? A princess?
00:37:15Do I look like a princess to you?
00:37:17No.
00:37:18My name is Rina.
00:37:20Rina the seer.
00:37:22Rina?
00:37:23Oh, yeah.
00:37:24Her name's Rina, all right.
00:37:25Rina the seer.
00:37:27Rina the lawyer.
00:37:28Oh, well.
00:37:29Maybe I've made a mistake.
00:37:31Yeah.
00:37:31Well, now that we've cleared up this little misunderstanding, and we're all friends again,
00:37:38maybe we could just be on our way.
00:37:42The girl may go.
00:37:44But not you, Deathstalker.
00:37:48So, you have heard of me.
00:37:51Oh, yes.
00:37:52Your legend precedes you.
00:37:55Your exploits as a womanizer are well-known in these parts.
00:37:58Well, I am more of a lover than a fighter.
00:38:03I hope not.
00:38:05Huh?
00:38:05You'll be put on trial for your crimes against womanhood.
00:38:10Trial?
00:38:11Trial?
00:38:12Trial.
00:38:13By combat.
00:38:20You used to be able to do this great.
00:38:21How's it going?
00:38:23It's a farce.
00:38:24I could beat any of these women with my hands tied behind my back.
00:38:26That's the spirit.
00:38:27Come on.
00:38:28Come on.
00:38:28Let's get going.
00:38:29Let's get in the rain.
00:38:30Okay.
00:38:30Okay.
00:38:31I'm going.
00:38:31Stop shouting.
00:38:41Deathstalker.
00:38:42Here it comes.
00:38:43According to our laws, we must settle all serious disputes in a trial by combat.
00:38:50Your opponent in this contest shall be none other than Gorgo, our fiercest warrior and my champion.
00:39:02Gorgo!
00:39:03Gorgo!
00:39:04Gorgo!
00:39:05I could beat her with my eyes closed.
00:39:09Gorgo!
00:39:10Come on down!
00:39:12I'm taking candy from your baby.
00:39:14You name it.
00:39:15Did you see her?
00:39:16Stalker.
00:39:17Will you?
00:39:17Shut up.
00:39:18Stalker.
00:39:19I could beat her with my eyes closed.
00:39:22I think you should keep at least one eye open.
00:39:25What are you talking about?
00:39:26What?
00:39:26What?
00:39:26This is, of course, a fight to the death.
00:39:55Naturally.
00:39:58Now mercy.
00:40:01Well?
00:40:02May the best man...
00:40:04Skip it.
00:40:10Let the fight begin!
00:40:16That's a nice outfit.
00:40:18Do you have to buy your clothes at a special store?
00:40:25Get out!
00:40:27All right.
00:40:28Come on!
00:40:33Whoa!
00:40:38Gorgo!
00:40:39Gorgo!
00:40:40Gorgo!
00:40:41Gorgo!
00:40:42Gorgo!
00:40:43Gorgo!
00:40:44Gorgo!
00:40:44And stay down.
00:40:55Come on.
00:41:14Here's what you've got to do, stay away from her, wear her out, run her down, then attack.
00:41:24Attack?
00:41:25Yeah.
00:41:26If I'm still alive, I'll have her in five.
00:41:30Six, maybe.
00:41:31Seven at the outside.
00:41:34Go get it, tiger.
00:41:37Oh!
00:41:42Oh!
00:41:44Oh!
00:41:45Oh!
00:41:46Oh!
00:41:47Oh!
00:41:48Oh!
00:41:49Oh, not the hair!
00:41:54Not the hair!
00:41:56Oh!
00:41:57Oh, god.
00:41:59Any dick, not the hair!
00:42:02Oh!
00:42:04Hey!
00:42:06Get up. Okay. Come on.
00:42:10Could I have just one moment of your time?
00:42:13No!
00:42:14No!
00:42:35You're looking good out there. You're doing a good job.
00:42:40Keep it up. And don't let it get you without running.
00:42:44She may have the strength.
00:42:48I got to stand her.
00:42:50Go get her!
00:43:11I'm tearing it!
00:43:14Come on.
00:43:18Come on!
00:43:19Come on!
00:43:20Come on!
00:43:22Come on!
00:43:38I just want to know.
00:43:40Is there a buddy in my hand?
00:43:41Buddy in my hand.
00:43:49No, no!
00:44:14No, no!
00:44:19Oh!
00:44:31Get him! Get him!
00:44:49Get him! Get him! Get him!
00:44:59Kill her! Kill her!
00:45:02Kill her! Kill her!
00:45:04What are you doing? This is a fight to the death!
00:45:10You want to kill her? Do it yourself.
00:45:19That was incredible! You were great!
00:45:25Thanks, Princess.
00:45:27Wait!
00:45:29Look, I know I haven't been completely on the level with you.
00:45:32Yeah, you can say that again.
00:45:34I can't believe I bought that whole bill of goods you tried to sell me.
00:45:37I bet you're not even a seer.
00:45:39Well, not a very good one.
00:45:41But I am a princess. Or I was.
00:45:44Jerk made a double of me, put her on the throne and seized the kingdom.
00:45:48Oh, that's good. That's rich. Try it on the next sap you meet.
00:45:52Look, I escaped, I needed help, and I didn't know whether you'd believe me.
00:45:57So you dangled fame and fortune in front of me like some kind of carrot?
00:46:00Didn't you think I might help you? Haven't you ever heard of honor among thieves?
00:46:03You mean you would have helped me without the money?
00:46:05I didn't say that!
00:46:06See?
00:46:10Look, begging your highness's pardon, but I'd rather be an obscure thief than a famous fool.
00:46:18I want her here and I want her here. No! What in the hell did I say?
00:46:27Judy, darling.
00:46:29I'm just waiting around while that little bitch is out there fighting against me.
00:46:33Judy, darling. It's Jerk.
00:46:35What do you want?
00:46:37I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.
00:46:40Why haven't you found her yet?
00:46:43Patience, my little love bird. You needn't worry. I shall find her.
00:46:47You'll be pleased, though, I think, to learn that I have achieved what I believe to be a major breakthrough.
00:46:52I hope so. Every day I fade more and more. Soon I'll cease to exist.
00:46:57Come with me to my chamber. You shan't be disappointed.
00:47:01This better be good.
00:47:03I assure you, it will be good.
00:47:11In my hand, I hold the key to our success and happiness, my darling. The elixir.
00:47:17Elixir?
00:47:18Elixir which will sever your ties to the real princess forever.
00:47:22Now for the moment of triumph.
00:47:24A work of art, don't you think?
00:47:27I duplicated him as I duplicated you.
00:47:30Now for the test.
00:47:43You may have the honor.
00:47:53It works!
00:47:54Naturally.
00:47:56You've made me so happy.
00:48:03Drink this and our little princess is as good as dead.
00:48:07Thank you again.
00:48:16Have you ever seen Death Stalker?
00:48:26No.
00:48:32Have you seen Death Stalker?
00:48:39Have you seen Death Stalker?
00:48:40There he is.
00:48:46There he is.
00:49:11Shall we drink then to your magnificent battle tonight?
00:49:15And the magnificent battle yet to come.
00:49:20Which one's that?
00:49:23Oh, that.
00:49:28Your body's close to me.
00:49:30But your mind seems far away.
00:49:36Just wait here.
00:49:38One minute.
00:49:40Don't go away.
00:49:44Stalker?
00:49:45Huh?
00:49:46Just think.
00:49:47Our lovemaking tonight may spawn generations of leaders to come.
00:49:48The passion in our hearts will burn like a great sensual fire.
00:49:50Melding our souls into a whirlpool of unending ecstasy.
00:49:52Sounds good to me.
00:49:53Tomorrow, my servant will awaken us at dawn.
00:49:54You've got to be kidding.
00:49:55After that fight, I was kind of looking forward to sleeping in.
00:49:56Oh no, that's not possible.
00:49:57The ceremony traditionally is performed at daybreak.
00:49:58Ceremony?
00:49:59What ceremony?
00:50:00What ceremony?
00:50:01A wedding ceremony?
00:50:02A wedding ceremony.
00:50:03A wedding ceremony.
00:50:04Oh, shit.
00:50:05Oh, shit.
00:50:06Oh, shit.
00:50:07tomorrow my servant will awaken us at dawn you gotta be kidding after that fight
00:50:13I was kind of looking forward to sleeping in oh no that's not possible the
00:50:17ceremony traditionally is performed at daybreak ceremony what's our wedding
00:50:23ceremony oh shit excuse me have you seen the girl I was with I think she left a half hour ago thanks
00:50:53I don't suppose you guys are hunters and I stepped into your bear trap no I didn't think so
00:51:06ah now that you're up your royal highness
00:51:23there are matters we need to discuss you you're the one who helped Jarek in all the excitement we
00:51:30never really did have a chance to sit down and talk but now we can fix all that where's death
00:51:36stalker why should I tell you anything huh I can think of lots of reasons here's one
00:51:43I'll never talk and do you know why Jarek needs to keep me alive you kill me and you're as good as dead
00:51:55and you know it do you know that I could drop you say up to your waist and you'd still be very much
00:52:01alive now where is death stalker somebody looking for me stalker you came back by popular demand
00:52:10get up
00:52:11oh
00:52:15It's payback time, stalker.
00:52:45I'm all for it, of course.
00:53:15Ah!
00:53:22Ah!
00:53:24Ah!
00:53:30Ah!
00:53:46Socker!
00:53:49What's the matter?
00:54:16Nothing. I just think there's a time and a place for everything.
00:54:18Well, the top half of you may think it's the wrong time,
00:54:21but the bottom half definitely knows it's the right place.
00:54:34Lord Jarek, we've recovered the body.
00:54:38Get her in here at once, fools.
00:54:40Will there be anything else, my lord?
00:54:42Ow! Ow!
00:54:43As you wish, my lord.
00:54:48I will not be there.
00:54:49I will never go.
00:54:50I will never go on.
00:54:51I will never go.
00:54:52I need to go to the bottom.
00:54:53I'll never be there.
00:54:54I need to go.
00:54:55What's the matter?
00:54:56I should not be there.
00:54:57I'll never go buy that.
00:54:58I want to go to the bottom half.
00:54:59I want to go.
00:55:00Alright.
00:55:01How many of you will be?
00:55:01Welcome back.
00:55:31Very interesting.
00:56:01Is there another way in?
00:56:03Of course.
00:56:14Where do these tunnels go?
00:56:16Under the castle.
00:56:19What was that?
00:56:20The wind.
00:56:25Friend of yours?
00:56:27Looks like he died with a gag in his mouth.
00:56:29Yeah, well, if he did, he never got a chance to tell it.
00:56:37Stalker, I've got a feeling.
00:56:39Don't say it. Just don't say it.
00:56:41But...
00:56:42Every time you have a vision, something bad happens.
00:56:45Stalker!
00:56:46Get out!
00:56:47Get out of here!
00:56:52Hi, guys.
00:56:53Ah, Death Stalker.
00:56:58You needn't come through the servant's entrance.
00:57:01I would have welcomed you through the front gates.
00:57:03Oh, I've seen your welcoming committee.
00:57:05You know, despite your rather silly name, I hear you're quite an extraordinary swordsman.
00:57:10Like a demonstration?
00:57:11Another time, perhaps.
00:57:12Oh, God.
00:57:13I've forgotten.
00:57:14There won't be another time.
00:57:15You see, I couldn't possibly attain my current position by playing fair.
00:57:20Kill him.
00:57:21Stop!
00:57:22He's mine!
00:57:24Sultana?
00:57:25I thought you was dead.
00:57:26Not hardly.
00:57:27Well, I must say, you're looking better than ever.
00:57:28And it's really great to be back here at the castle.
00:57:31Found her, boys!
00:57:32Oh!
00:57:33Oh!
00:57:34Oh!
00:57:35Oh!
00:57:36Oh!
00:57:37Oh!
00:57:38Oh!
00:57:39Oh!
00:57:40Oh!
00:57:41Oh!
00:57:42Oh!
00:57:43Oh!
00:57:44Oh!
00:57:45Oh!
00:57:46Oh!
00:57:47Oh!
00:57:48Oh!
00:57:49Oh!
00:57:50Oh!
00:57:51Oh!
00:57:52Oh!
00:57:53Oh!
00:57:54All right.
00:57:55Poor girl fell off our horse.
00:57:56What can we do?
00:57:57Check her heart!
00:58:04Aargh!
00:58:06I think we're revived!
00:58:11Help!
00:58:13Huh?
00:58:14Oh!
00:58:15Oh!
00:58:17I don't know.
00:58:47Good evening, Dev Stalker.
00:58:52Doesn't look too good from here.
00:58:55Where's the little princess?
00:58:57You don't expect me to talk.
00:58:59No, no, no. I expect you to die.
00:59:02And I'm sorry to see you go.
00:59:05We could have made a great team.
00:59:07There's still time.
00:59:09I'm afraid time's run out for you.
00:59:12Did you ever think about joining our side?
00:59:15Goodbye, Dev Stalker.
00:59:17I should have stood in bed.
00:59:26Mother.
00:59:31Princess wants to see you.
00:59:38That got laid off.
00:59:39Things were tough for our family for a long time.
00:59:41Most of my gentlemen collars bring flowers.
00:59:51Damn, my mistake.
00:59:53Must have given them the wrong princess.
00:59:55I don't want to shock you,
00:59:56but there's another girl running around here
00:59:57that's a dead ringer for you.
00:59:58That little harlot is nothing but a lying imposter.
01:00:01That's funny, because that's exactly what she said about you.
01:00:05Uh, say, would you mind calling off your hogs here?
01:00:12Big laughs, these guys.
01:00:14Next time I see them,
01:00:15it's going to be on a plate next to some eggs.
01:00:18Don't you think I look like a princess?
01:00:22You dress like a princess.
01:00:23You walk like a princess.
01:00:33You kiss like a princess.
01:00:37But you sure don't act like a princess.
01:00:40Oh, and how's a princess supposed to act?
01:00:43I'm not sure.
01:00:45But I, uh, think you're start...
01:00:48I think you're starting to get a handle on it.
01:00:51I think so, too.
01:00:54Oh.
01:00:55I could just eat you alive.
01:00:58Bones and everything.
01:00:59Oh.
01:01:13And now you're mind-stalker.
01:01:27What?
01:01:39I thought I told you not to hang around with girls like that.
01:01:43It was just your looks that got to me.
01:01:46And you think I don't know where the secret passageways are?
01:01:49Well, uh, thanks.
01:01:52I thought you might need this.
01:01:57You sure you know where you're going?
01:01:58I got us here, didn't I?
01:02:00Yeah, but just tell me one thing, though.
01:02:02Why do secret passageways have to be so damn clammy and dark?
01:02:05Quick griping!
01:02:06We're almost here.
01:02:07Besides, I got a surprise for you.
01:02:09Here we are.
01:02:13Some surprise.
01:02:20How do they say it?
01:02:22Out of the frying pan, into the fire?
01:02:25Yeah, that's how they say it, all right.
01:02:28You can't possibly kill us all.
01:02:30One against one hundred.
01:02:32Make that two against a hundred.
01:02:35Kill them.
01:02:38Hey!
01:02:40What about we even up those odds considerably?
01:02:48Told you I had a surprise.
01:02:50Please take a force!
01:02:53Ah!
01:02:54Oh!
01:02:55To the fan, the fan!
01:02:56Go!
01:02:57Hit them!
01:03:06Go!
01:03:06Go!
01:03:07Go!
01:03:09How do I do it?
01:03:10Oh, my God.
01:03:40Oh, my God.
01:04:10Oh, my God.
01:04:40Where are you going?
01:04:42Leaving.
01:04:43You owe me your life.
01:04:44I owe nothing to any man, even you.
01:04:47Good luck, because we're going to need it.
01:04:49Get out of my way.
01:04:50What is going on here?
01:04:58I have a splitting headache.
01:04:59I'm trying to get some sleep.
01:05:01Ew.
01:05:02Inside, inside.
01:05:03It's not over yet.
01:05:06You okay?
01:05:07I guess you are.
01:05:11Come on, we've got business to attend to.
01:05:15How could you let this happen?
01:05:17You've ruined my life.
01:05:19I gave you your life.
01:05:23Now, go to your chambers.
01:05:25I'll be there shortly.
01:05:27Go.
01:05:27Come on.
01:05:40Throne room's that way.
01:05:42Where are you going?
01:05:43There's only room for one princess in this castle.
01:05:45What are you going to do?
01:05:47Can't tell you.
01:05:48Girl talk.
01:05:50Oh.
01:05:51And here's what it is.
01:05:55If I'm going to get to sleep.
01:05:57Oh.
01:05:59Oh.
01:06:01Oh.
01:06:03Oh.
01:06:05Oh.
01:06:08Oh.
01:06:09Oh.
01:06:11Oh.
01:06:12Oh.
01:06:14Oh.
01:06:19Oh.
01:06:20Oh.
01:06:50You bitch!
01:07:20You still ready for that demonstration?
01:07:43Spoken like a true gallant.
01:07:46And soon to be a legend.
01:07:48But not a living one.
01:07:50Ah!
01:07:57Ah!
01:07:58Ah!
01:07:59Ah!
01:08:00Ah!
01:08:01Ah!
01:08:02Ah!
01:08:03Ah!
01:08:04Ah!
01:08:05Ah!
01:08:06Ah!
01:08:07Ah!
01:08:08Ah!
01:08:21Ah!
01:08:23Ah!
01:08:24Ah!
01:08:25Ah!
01:08:26Ah!
01:08:27Ah!
01:08:28Ah!
01:08:29Ah!
01:08:30Ah!
01:08:31Ah!
01:08:32Ah!
01:08:33Ah!
01:08:34Ah!
01:08:35Ah!
01:08:36Ah!
01:08:37Ah!
01:08:38Ah!
01:08:39Ah!
01:08:40Ah!
01:08:41Ah!
01:08:42Ah!
01:08:43Ah!
01:08:44Ah!
01:08:45Ah!
01:08:46Ah!
01:08:47Ah!
01:08:48Ah!
01:08:49Ah!
01:08:50Ah!
01:08:53Come on.
01:09:15Aah!
01:09:18Aah!
01:09:19Aah!
01:09:22Oh, my God.
01:09:52Up.
01:10:22Up.
01:10:32Up.
01:10:37Up.
01:10:41Up.
01:10:46Up.
01:10:51Up.
01:11:02Up.
01:11:08Up.
01:11:12Up.
01:11:20Up.
01:11:30Up.
01:11:41Up.
01:11:51Up.
01:12:02Up.
01:12:08Up.
01:12:10Up.
01:12:11So you really think our story's going to make it into the legends?
01:12:15Oh, more than that.
01:12:17A thousand years from now, players will reenact all our exploits.
01:12:20Really?
01:12:22Well, I sure hope they get a good-looking guy to play me.
Comments