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Odd Taxi - Ep 2 (English Dub)

#OddTaxi #OddTaxiAnime #OddTaxiEnglishDub #OddTaxiAnimeEnglishDub #OddTaxiEpisode2
Transcript
00:00I'm in the middle of the car
00:06I'm in the car
00:09I'm in the car
00:13I'm in the car
00:18What can I see?
00:21What can I see?
00:26答えてよ
00:28道はレコードで日々を乗せて針が晒してるノイズ
00:45僕は背景になって君にとって挑戦後無償利
00:50リズムしたレジュメじゃ解けない夏のリズムで成り下がれる
00:55Oh
01:25You've got to be freaking kidding me!
01:36You and Shera Coward traded numbers?
01:38Yeah, the conversation just went that direction.
01:41Shit, I'd curse you to death if I could.
01:44Just kill me yourself. Why be so indirect about it?
01:47She's just using you. You're her lovesick cab driver.
01:50No way, no charge for you, miss.
01:52Actually, she said she wants to meet up for dinner on her days off.
01:55You lie!
01:59I think our solo performance was a huge success.
02:02Tickets were sold out, so...
02:03Time to quit my part-time job.
02:05I already quit mine.
02:07Huh? You haven't even written any jokes.
02:09My girlfriend takes care of me.
02:11You're a piece of shit.
02:13My girlfriend said I could quit.
02:14Bono Illumination formed four years ago, and now they live in a place where rent is 400 grand.
02:20Stains, right?
02:21Uh, well, it is what it is.
02:24Why aren't we TV stars?
02:26Oh, man.
02:27The other day I got caught up in vanity searching.
02:30You shouldn't do that.
02:31I searched for homo sapiens funny, and everything was homo sapiens aren't funny.
02:34You didn't read the comments, did you?
02:36Comedy requires intelligence and culture to understand.
02:39Well, yeah. That's the bare minimum.
02:41Which makes the general public idiots.
02:43Here we go.
02:44But that doesn't stop them from judging us.
02:46Keep your mouth shut, idiots.
02:48Got that?
02:49Being a creator is a one-way street.
02:51Stay out of it.
02:52Dumbing things down for the asses and the masses makes for weak results.
02:55Bunch of rank amateurs.
02:57Responding to consumers' needs is part of our job, though.
03:00We're not building household appliances here.
03:02The only people who can truly judge if we're funny or not is us.
03:06We're the ones who can say, nah, this joke isn't hitting right.
03:08Try something else.
03:09More fan mail!
03:11It's from high schooler Satoshi Nagashima in Tokyo.
03:14This guy again?
03:15It reads, good evening.
03:16I saw the homo sapiens solo performance.
03:18It's typically your own fans who attend these gigs, so it's only natural to expect guaranteed laughs.
03:24Before I continue, I want to give you guys props for your conviction and self-worth.
03:28That being said, I think it's embarrassing for professionals to slander people who don't recognize your talent by calling them uncultured amateurs.
03:35Until you acknowledge your flaws, improve on your craft, and reach a higher level of success, this reaction seems defensive and douchey.
03:43Never mistake arrogance for confidence.
03:45Also, compared to Bonno Illumination, you're way less charming.
03:50P.S. You managed to play it off with your energy, but the final joke of your solo show isn't funny when written out.
03:56Keep trying, though.
03:57Say that to my face, jerk!
03:58Do you feel awkward?
04:01Huh?
04:03I wouldn't say awkward, exactly.
04:05I'm a regular listener. Turned it on out of habit.
04:09Let me ask you something. Why can't you get much sleep?
04:13I've forgotten how to. Can't remember how I used to do it.
04:19Would you like some professional advice?
04:25Counting sheep can be helpful.
04:26You built that up like it was an industry secret, but pretty much everybody knows that one.
04:31Also, I think it might be Cindy Lauper.
04:34Oh, what is?
04:36MVP.
04:36You watched We Are The World?
04:44Mr. Odokawa, is there anyone you like?
04:46Not really.
04:47Oh, that's such a waste. Life's more fun when you're in love.
04:50I'm too old for all that business.
04:52You're only 41. Life's just getting started.
04:55How do you know my age?
04:56From your medical records.
04:58Man, you're pretty nosy, aren't you?
04:59Got any family?
05:00They all left when I was little.
05:02When?
05:03Late elementary school.
05:04How'd you support yourself? You weren't here.
05:06Is there some kind of stress test?
05:07I'm sorry. I overstepped my bounds.
05:10Is there anything in your life you regret?
05:18Maybe taking out a student loan to attend nursing school.
05:21Why do you regret that?
05:23At the time, I was stubborn and didn't want to rely on my parents.
05:27But I still feel like I should have, you know?
05:30You haven't managed to pay it off?
05:32No, I have. It's paid.
05:42So where were you born, anyway?
05:45Miyazaki.
05:45Sing me a traditional Miyazaki song.
05:48You can actually sing one.
05:51I only asked you to sing one because I assumed that you couldn't.
05:55That weirded me out.
05:57I hope to start a family so my parents back in Miyazaki won't worry about me.
06:02anymore.
06:03So, uh...
06:05Miha Shirakawa.
06:08So tell me, Shirakawa.
06:10Is there anyone you like, or...?
06:13There is.
06:20What's he like?
06:22What's he like?
06:24Well, he's a little hard to describe.
06:26Do you have a picture of him?
06:28I do. Wanna see?
06:29I would indeed.
06:30Wait. I can tease Gakihana about it later.
06:33You've transcended all kinds of stuff to achieve a look of total serenity.
06:49Hold on. Just collecting my thoughts.
06:54I hate to admit it, Odokawa, but you've got a chance.
06:58At what?
06:59At this rate, we're both headed straight for eternal bachelorhood, okay?
07:02Snagging a beautiful girl like her would be a huge late-game upset.
07:06It's not like that at all.
07:07You don't like her?
07:09No, that's not it.
07:10So you do, then?
07:11Well, not particularly, no.
07:13Fine, then. What if you had to choose?
07:14Why are you forcing me to answer a difficult question like that?
07:17What are you, a lawyer?
07:18I just want to know which way you lean.
07:21Well, I guess towards liking.
07:23How much?
07:24How much what?
07:24How much big is your affection for her?
07:28The size of a multivitamin.
07:30That's big in a way.
07:32What should I do?
07:34If I were you, I'd strike while the iron's hot.
07:37They say women are as fickle as autumn weather.
07:39If you wait too long, you'll miss your chance.
07:42But if you're too aggressive, she'll think you're a desperate old man grasping at anyone.
07:45So finding the balance is tough.
07:48If you were me, I'd tease her and give her the cold shoulder.
07:51Then put on a kind smile when I see her at the clinic.
07:53Shut up.
07:54Shut up?
07:55When I remembered I was getting advice from a fellow bachelor, it all started to sound like static.
08:00Whatever.
08:01But real talk, though.
08:02I bet your parents would be jumping for joy if you were a married man by the time they saw you again.
08:07Don't you want them to meet their grandkids?
08:10Not really.
08:11I'd rather show the people who covered my living expenses after my parents up and left me
08:15than I'm living a happy life.
08:17You're talking about that support group, right?
08:20Mm-hmm.
08:23I don't think I've ever seen you get in the bath, Odokawa.
08:27Want to make a stop at Taikos?
08:30I can't.
08:31I'm going to be working tonight.
08:37Hey, don't take pictures in the changing room.
08:39Come on, who cares?
08:40There's nobody here now.
08:41Taiko hasn't seen you in a while and she misses you, so I wanted to give her a little something.
08:45It doesn't matter that nobody's here.
08:48The sign says it's prohibited.
09:05Are you listening, Kakihana?
09:09Well, let's see.
09:34Oh, how am I supposed to go viral, damn it?
09:43Tai Chi, it's time for your bath.
09:46Okay.
09:55A hundred forty thousand retweets?
10:04Oh, how am I supposed to go viral, damn it?
10:34Oh, hey there, Amai.
10:48You waited in the line for me, I guess?
10:49Of course I did.
10:51I've been waiting forever for you to debut, Rui.
10:53Picture time.
10:55How should we pose now?
10:57Uh, we've linked arms and made a heart already.
11:00Any ideas?
11:01Hey, let me see. Since you're so special, Amai, how about a hug?
11:05Okay. For real?
11:11And as you're my very last visitor today, I'll give you an autograph, too.
11:16Wow, thank you. I promise I'll buy your debut single.
11:18Thanks. But I don't know if it'll sell well.
11:24Are things tough?
11:25Fewer people showed up than expected again.
11:29I've been thinking about something.
11:30Both Ichimura and Mitsuya would look better without their masks.
11:33They're so cute. It's a waste.
11:36I assumed they'd take their masks off for the Polaroids.
11:38Nobody wants a picture of their masks up like that.
11:41They're cute, but not as cute as you, of course.
11:44Those masks, wearing them was one of the conditions for our debut.
11:48I see. They've got their reasons, I suppose. Also, Mitsuya's dancing has gotten a little sloppy lately. Is she not feeling well?
11:59She juggles part-time work, lessons, and streaming from home. She might be tired.
12:07Man, that sounds rough. Don't push yourself too hard.
12:12Here.
12:13Yes, thank you so much. I promise you, when I get rich, I'll buy all of your CDs and merch. I'm just a waiter at a club right now, but soon-
12:21Time's up. Thank you for coming out.
12:22Ichimura, Mitsuya, we've got some time before the venue closes. Why don't you go outside and sell our leftover merch?
12:37Wait, really? Mikaito doesn't have to.
12:39What can we do? I mean, our sales aren't as good as Rui's. No one cares about us.
12:45I'm sorry. Thanks for this.
12:46God, this is so embarrassing. We can't succeed with all of this against us? These masks prevent us from lowering the same level of big spenders as Mikaito.
12:58I don't think I'd attract any fans even without this mask.
13:01Ichimura, you've got a real self-esteem issue.
13:04Well, I started my career maskless, and now I'm here. If anything, it's crazy that you have any self-esteem at all.
13:11Yeah, good point. Maybe I'm never down on myself because my parents raised me with love.
13:15Really? Yeah, that's a big factor. It was the opposite for me. My parents always told me that I was worthless and wouldn't amount to anything.
13:23Let me ask you, in your normal routine, when do you feel the happiest?
13:27In a bathtub by myself.
13:28You sound like an old lady.
13:29What about you, Mitsuya?
13:31When I'm eating, especially if it's fried chicken.
13:33You're crazy. What a calorie bomb.
13:35You telling me I'm crazy is what's crazy.
13:37What? How rude. I'm your senior, you crazy girl.
13:40You've exceeded the expectations. Great work today, Nikaido. Online news is talking about you.
13:48It's not enough. Our commercial didn't bring in anybody. We need more fans like Amai if we want to be successful.
13:56If I recall correctly, Amai was one of those five guys from before, right?
14:00Yeah, that's the guy. He's probably the only one who's been following us since that point in time.
14:16What are they calling about?
14:19Yes, Yamamoto here.
14:21Yeah.
14:22Everything went smoothly.
14:25Yeah.
14:26Half right, huh?
14:27Of course.
14:29What?
14:30Dashcam, huh?
14:32I'll look for him.
14:33Do you know the taxi driver's name?
14:36Well, I can't do much if you don't.
14:39Yeah, you're right.
14:41Right, understood.
14:44What's up?
14:45Nothing. It's fine.
14:47Nothing for you to worry about.
14:57Will 2,000 yen get me to Shinjuku?
15:10No, it's around 3,500 yen to get you there.
15:13Could you make an exception?
15:14I'll, uh, go as far as I can.
15:18No! Take me to Shinjuku, please!
15:20The way you haggle is both pushy and creepy.
15:23Aw, give me a break, please! I'm completely broke!
15:26All right, then. Fine.
15:27Ah, damn it. All of them are losers.
15:38Hey, if you had the money to buy those, you should have set some aside for cab fare.
15:42It's not like that, okay? I'm going to use the money to buy Mystery Kiss albums.
15:46Mystery what?
15:47A three-person idol group that formed about two years ago.
15:51They've struggled, but they've finally made their debut.
15:53Not a very long struggle.
15:54I remember when I first saw them. It was about a year ago at a concert I happened to attend.
15:59Back then, there were only five people in the audience, including myself.
16:02But today, so many more people were there to cheer them on.
16:05I feel so happy, but also kind of sad. I'm a bit conflicted.
16:08It's cool, though. Having known about them for so long gives me a sense of superiority.
16:13I was one of those first five bands that have stuck around.
16:15I'll never forget how I felt back then.
16:18Ruinikaido's overpowering aura.
16:20Her singing reminded me a bit of Janis Joplin.
16:22Her innate idol qualities contrasted with her exuberant ambition.
16:27Yukimitsuya's exceptional physicality, backed by her next-level dancing.
16:30Shihou Ichimura's genuine modesty.
16:34Each one had a unique personality.
16:36They were the holy trinity of idols.
16:38Nice insight on their personalities, but they got less impressive as you went on.
16:42That's because ultimately, I'm a Nikaido fan.
16:45I even made the first Nikaido fan account.
16:48Yeah.
16:48Anyway, today was their debut CD pre-order event.
16:53Each pre-order comes with Polaroid tickets.
16:55The more you pre-order, the more Polaroids you get to take.
16:58You can have Ruinikaido all to yourself.
17:00If that's true, instead of lottery tickets, you should have bought more CDs instead.
17:03What are you talking about?
17:05I can only afford one CD.
17:07I'd rather buy these tickets, win the lottery, and make Ruinikaido all mine.
17:11You're betting on slim odds.
17:13Are you a lucky man, driver?
17:16Pushing a brake, catching a brake, it's gotta be connected somehow, right?
17:20I bet you're super lucky.
17:21Long ago, I survived an accident that should have killed me, so maybe I am lucky.
17:30A lucky man wouldn't have bet in an accident.
17:33Yeah, I guess you're right.
17:35All right, Shinjuku, you're okay?
17:37Yeah, sorry I only have 2,000 yen.
17:38Since you're a lucky driver, would you mind giving me your seven favorite numbers between 1 and 37?
17:53I'd say my seven favorites are 2, 10, 12, 18, 20, 32, and 33.
17:58Hey, those sound pretty good. I'm off to buy a lottery ticket!
18:02Wait, you mean you still had money?
18:06What a pain.
18:08You available?
18:26Sorry to interrupt your break.
18:28To Japan Broadcasting, please.
18:29What you got there?
18:41Looking for things we could use for our show.
18:43You're hitting the books hard.
18:45Look, doesn't this just piss you off?
18:47I know what you mean. I'd rather listen to the actual song.
18:54Some of them are kind of moving, though.
18:57What are you talking about? In what way are they moving?
19:00Moving slow.
19:01And what are you looking at?
19:03Zouden.
19:05Zouden?
19:06It's a mobile game.
19:08Hold on a sec.
19:09You named your account Homo Sepi Baba and used a pic of yourself?
19:13Don't you know you're famous?
19:14I can play with bands this way. What's wrong with that?
19:16Use that time to write jokes instead.
19:18It's extremely addicting.
19:20You raise and care for animals and stuff to rank up.
19:22How could you raise anything? You've only ever been raised.
19:26Why not rank up your comedy? You're last right now.
19:28You think I'm last in comedy?
19:30Don't get the wrong idea. Not just among professionals. I mean everyone.
19:34I'm last in comedy compared to everyone?
19:37So, how are things with your girlfriend?
19:40I can't talk about that here.
19:41Come on, don't be so self-conscious.
19:43The percentage of people who know us is painfully low.
19:46Just drop it, okay?
19:47My girlfriend's ability to know she's being discussed is painfully high.
19:50Let's talk about something else.
19:52Did you just come up with that?
19:53Hey, you're Homo Sapiens, right? I listen to you guys on the radio.
19:57Seriously?
19:58Didn't know your faces, but I do know your voices.
20:01That's more than most.
20:02Driver, what do we need to build our fandom?
20:05Uh, luck, I guess.
20:07Luck is something we're definitely low on. We try our best to be the best.
20:11It seems to me like you're not equally committed.
20:16How'd the N1 preliminaries go?
20:18We made it past round two.
20:19That's impressive.
20:22Hey, Baba.
20:23What if I said I think we should dissolve the group?
20:26I'd say you might be right.
20:27I don't really understand comedy.
20:30I mean, I hate to admit it, but you're the only one of us I think is truly funny from the bottom of my heart.
20:36That seasoned comic said that you've got talent.
20:39That you'd make it.
20:40So if I'm holding you back, I think I should let you go on without me.
20:44You're wrong.
20:46You shouldn't focus on quitting.
20:48Your fatal flaw is you're not frustrated after what he just said about us.
20:52I can't help that I'm not frustrated, okay?
20:54People can't just control their emotions.
20:56If that were true, all unrequited love would cease to exist.
20:59That's actually a pretty funny bit.
21:00You should be putting things like that on the airwaves.
21:02You say I'm funny, but I have no idea what you want me to do.
21:05It's your shift in tone and volume when you felt trapped.
21:07Who wouldn't shift tone after being pushed like that?
21:09Hey, driver.
21:10In middle school, this guy here got into a fist fight with a girl that ended in a draw.
21:14What the hell?
21:14That has nothing to do with the conversation at hand.
21:17Quit talking about my personal life.
21:18You're a crap fighter, a crap comedian, and a crap student.
21:21Is there anything you can do?
21:22My academic abilities aren't any part of this.
21:25We went to the same high school.
21:26We're not that different.
21:29Huh.
21:29It's our representative.
21:31Hey.
21:32Yeah.
21:32We'll be arriving soon.
21:34Yes.
21:34We're in a taxi.
21:35What?
21:36Yeah.
21:37He's right next to me.
21:38Right.
21:39Right.
21:41What?
21:42You mean me?
21:44Yes.
21:45Tomorrow.
21:46Yeah.
21:46That's fine.
21:47Yes.
21:47Seriously?
21:49Right.
21:50Right.
21:51Goodbye.
21:54What do you say?
21:56A recurring guest.
21:58You're kidding.
21:59On what?
22:00It's some kind of daytime food show.
22:02That's totally great.
22:03We can't...
22:04It's just me.
22:04Okay.
22:17Good evening.
22:21Where to...
22:22It's just me.
22:33It's just me.
22:34It's just me.
22:40Everybody, jump on it.
22:47To the night we go, take me
22:49A mind that can do sweets like
22:51Ooh, shumore, trophy, you and me
22:53Goncy is a banksy
22:55Got to show more or spicy
22:57Ooh, what's the love inside my heart
22:59Open the windows, wind I need
23:01Dancing, dancing with a star
23:06Looking into your eyes
23:08As we wanna give you
23:11Dancing, dancing without stop
23:14Melting into the night
23:16From being hard I'm feeling
23:18You are, you are
23:20Moving like this lad
23:22Tonight I don't wanna be going home
23:26A night being
23:28Pretending to be
23:29As always in the two distance
23:32How are things lately?
23:37With what?
23:37Kakihana
23:38There's nothing to report, really
23:40Well, he's certainly hopeless
23:41A dumb, hopeless monkey
23:43Keep your voice down, he'll hear you
23:45Crap, we locked eyes
23:46Any New Year's resolutions?
23:48Maybe I'll open a second shop
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