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00:00I brought a sword of weapon to school. I got kicked out of every school in British Columbia
00:21for two years. I hung myself with phone charges. I wasn't allowed to attend any school. And I was
00:24dead. And he found me. And he brought me back to life. I was selling crack heroin, meth and
00:35coke and weed and whatever. I think my dad is a prick and he needs to get shot in the
00:40feet. Don't touch me. Can you sit down, please? And fuck you. I was like, why can't I look
00:50at the window? Everybody's just stressed right now. I'm just kidding. I'm like, oh my God.
00:55I was like, I was so terrified. I was like, I don't know if you're going to find it. You
01:02want to find it. Why? Why do you want to sit behind you? Well, let's not fucking do it.
01:09What do you want to do? What do you want to do? What do you want to do?
01:17If it wasn't for this place, I probably wouldn't be alive. Just because I've done some really
01:24fucked up shit on the outside. I'm kind of glad I'm in here right now. I know for a fact
01:30that if I stayed out and I never got caught for what we did, I wouldn't, I don't know,
01:37I wouldn't have any remorse or anything. I don't know.
01:48I wish I could be out. I don't even remember what it feels like to be out anymore.
02:00What if the justice system really saw the people that you really are? Not what you're
02:06being charged with, but the person you are.
02:11Kids. Kids in jail. Those two words seem like they don't even belong in the same sentence.
02:18I've been volunteering to visit these kids for the past few years and created a film program.
02:23You know how to do that or what? You're hard on me.
02:27I've been teaching them about filmmaking and other life skills, listening to them,
02:31and helping them tell their own stories.
02:33Science, textiles, planning, and everything.
02:48Hang on, hang on, hang on.
02:52Mr. Van Loo comes in and...
02:54My wife, actor Babs Chula, comes out to support the program.
03:01She's helping the kids find their own voice through storytelling.
03:05So look, so the story's kind of like what we talked about,
03:08except that we're adding Lonely Girl into the story.
03:13Are we supposed to get up?
03:15When you're ready, yeah? When you're ready, just get up.
03:19You don't have to sit up. You can stay on the yoga mat.
03:22You can sit back on a chair, however you want to do it.
03:30Remember that there are people still in the forest, dudes.
03:33Hey, yo, remember there are people that are still there.
03:35Just be respectful of the people who aren't coming up yet.
03:39Okay?
03:40When I was young, I used to really love to build like forts and stuff, right?
03:42Like little forts in my room, so I had a pretty big room, right?
03:44And then, I guess, I don't know how we did it,
03:47but we made a fort out of like a bunch of like...
03:50Blankets.
03:51Like blankets and stuff, yeah.
03:52But like, I don't know how we did it.
03:53Like I'm trying to think.
03:54Like I think we used like chairs and like other stuff.
03:56Yeah, right, right, right.
03:57I don't know, like I think my dresser too.
03:59Yeah, okay, that's it.
04:00Okay, I have a dresser over here and another thing over here.
04:03And like I pulled the drawer, I put the one blanket in there, right?
04:06I'm not that depressed anymore.
04:09When I first got here, I was like really depressed and bored all the time.
04:12Now I'm just bored.
04:14Did you get a black eye?
04:16Yeah.
04:17Did you bump into something?
04:19My fist.
04:20You bumped into your own fist?
04:22Yeah.
04:23Uh-huh.
04:24I had an issue that I just sort out with myself and it resulted in getting punched.
04:29Uh-huh.
04:30How was your week?
04:31It was my week?
04:32Yeah, how was the week for you?
04:34Hurting.
04:35Oh, was that?
04:36Why was that?
04:37I got D stage and my room changed and I got assessment points and a two hour lockup.
04:46Two hour lockup.
04:47How caught?
04:48Yeah, two hour.
04:49Really bad.
04:50What was going on?
04:51I got caught with a picture in my room.
04:52Where did you get the picture?
04:53From him.
04:54Oh, I see.
04:55He gave you a picture.
04:56It appeared.
04:57And that's why.
04:58Yeah, but I still have four more of them.
04:59That seems a little hard.
05:00You still have that?
05:01Yeah.
05:02Cause I'm not allowed to have them.
05:03See?
05:04And I hide them like this.
05:05You see that hat's in my order?
05:07It was so weird, right?
05:08Cause I never knew him.
05:09But like, I always used to, like, I used to have like the harsh hots for him when I was
05:12around here.
05:13I did.
05:14And he'd always laugh at me when I came back.
05:15How do you meet in jail and like, fall in love with somebody?
05:17You know?
05:18Yeah.
05:19Yeah.
05:20Yeah.
05:21Yeah.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Yeah.
05:24Yeah.
05:25Yeah.
05:26Yeah.
05:27Yeah.
05:28Yeah.
05:29Yeah.
05:30Yeah.
05:31Yeah.
05:32Yeah.
05:33Yeah.
05:34Yeah.
05:35Yeah.
05:36Yeah.
05:37Yeah.
05:38Yeah.
05:39Yeah.
05:40Yeah.
05:41Yeah.
05:42And like, fall in love with somebody.
05:45I saw her.
05:46Right.
05:47Just walking up the stairs and she was like, how are you doing?
05:49And she's just smiling and stuff and I'm like, what the hell, you're back, right?
05:51Like, we did a duet together, right?
05:54At one of those Christmas concerts.
06:02It was so awkward.
06:03We were like harshly trying to, like, think of ways to move in a song?
06:08I couldn't touch his hand.
06:11I was like, no, I couldn't do it.
06:13I was so shy to do it.
06:14I was like, oh my God, right?
06:16And then on top of that,
06:16he starts being a little geek, man.
06:18He's like, oh, he's being funny.
06:25I don't know, she was just looking at me and stuff.
06:27I was looking at her and just wanted to kiss her
06:29so badly, right?
06:31Those bluish-green eyes, right?
06:33Like, yeah, and no.
06:35When I was the girl, I was having a really bad nightmare.
06:42And I woke up from a dream.
06:44And I remember going across to my mom's room.
06:47And my stepfather got really angry.
06:52And my mom curled up with me.
06:55And while I was curled up in bed with her,
06:57my dad turned around and kicked in the face.
06:59That's what I was thinking.
07:02And I remember telling him to stop and stuff like that.
07:06And he finally took my arm and just threw me down the stairs.
07:10He didn't like me because I was a female.
07:12Same with my real dad.
07:14My mom was always drunk and she was never home.
07:19And when she worked, it was drug dealing.
07:23And they were harsh into heroin and stuff like that.
07:28And I'd have to go to the store and steal from them.
07:31But then eventually they figured it out.
07:33And the people at the store would give me food to take home.
07:36I got higher connections than my mom eventually.
07:38I was 14 years old and I had 10 grand in my pocket.
07:4110 grand that was mine.
07:44I had 20 grand altogether.
07:46I doubled my profit all the time.
07:48It's mine, it's not theirs.
07:49It was mine.
07:50Nobody owned me.
07:52I never let anybody own me.
07:54I learned that.
07:56You want to see my crib?
07:57You want to see my crib?
07:59You want to see my crib?
08:00Yeah, man.
08:01Yeah, these are the stairs headed to my room.
08:03You know?
08:04You know?
08:05You want to see it?
08:06You know?
08:07This is where...
08:08Dad was really strict.
08:10We got by, right?
08:12He worked his ass off and we had food at the table every day, right?
08:18It was good, right?
08:19Every Sunday we'd go to church.
08:22After church he'd cook us a good meal and stuff, right?
08:27Where was your mom?
08:29She was out of the picture.
08:31Out of the picture?
08:32Yeah.
08:33What happened to her?
08:34She just bounced.
08:35Yeah?
08:36And you've never heard from her since?
08:39I've talked to her a couple of times since.
08:43But I was like, last time I talked to her was 10.
08:46Yeah.
08:52One night or whatever, I came to see my mom and she was really down sick.
08:57And I came to give her some money and she took my dope.
09:02And I said, what are you doing?
09:04I said, here, you want some, like she wanted some dope.
09:06So I took it out and I gave her some, right?
09:08And she, I was like, give me my fucking dope back.
09:10She's like, I'm not giving you your fucking dope back.
09:12She's like, this is my fucking dope.
09:14I said, no, it's not.
09:15I said, that's my dope.
09:16That's how I make my money.
09:17She's like, I don't care.
09:18And she hardly started smoking my dope in front of me.
09:21And I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
09:23I was like, you're going to take this over me?
09:24I was like, give me back my fucking dope.
09:27And then I basically asked her, I was like, what do you want?
09:30You want that or me?
09:31And she took the dope.
09:33And I walked out, I was like, holy fuck.
09:39That's nasty.
09:40You're going to get diseased.
09:45Sorry.
09:46I want in my life and I know the only way I can have him in my life is if I change a few things.
09:58And if it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't be in the headspace of him either.
10:02Because he made me realize a lot.
10:03Throughout like the whole time we've been going out, he's like, encouraged me to do good and like, he's like, made me realize that like, I'm better than what I was doing.
10:17And, um, he kind of like brought me back because before I came in here, like, I don't know, I was just like, I was harsh and lost when I came in here and he helped me out.
10:27Right?
10:28Like.
10:29Come on Larry, play.
10:30You'd like a normal life?
10:31Real life.
10:32And real people.
10:33A normal life.
10:34What I mean is a life that has a job and you have a legit house and you're not going to have cops come and break it down and you can buy things and actually keep it.
10:48Are you playing?
10:49Do you want to play?
10:50Yes.
10:51Do you want to play?
10:52It's hoping.
10:53Yeah, it's not hoping, I'm going to.
10:55It's not hoping I'm going to.
11:25So open your tongue down.
11:31Hey, hey, hey, hey, back up.
11:32You got to go the other way.
11:34Guys, you got to go around.
11:43There's policy.
11:46And then there's before policy.
11:48Right?
11:49You were co-ed, right?
11:51Yeah.
11:52You could do the sports programming.
11:54Alone.
11:55Can you find a place to be alone?
11:57No.
11:58Well, no.
11:59Shut up.
12:01Never.
12:02We used to be able to mix.
12:04They saw that mean, you know, really close and stuff, right?
12:09They didn't want that.
12:10Then a policy comes out a week later saying that
12:14no girls and boy mixing, period.
12:19To talk to somebody with the policy,
12:22you don't talk face to face anymore.
12:23You talk through windows and you see each other through doors.
12:32Are you doing your chores?
12:35Yeah, fuck.
12:36We figured out.
12:37This is the only room where a girl can communicate.
12:41So she's over there right now because it's a bad staff, right?
12:50We usually talk through windows.
12:52We could read each other's lips pretty good.
12:54We can't have, like, full conversations, but we'll have some conversations, you know?
12:59And we could read each other's lips and stuff, right?
13:04They're fun.
13:05They're fun.
13:06And, like, you have to play together again.
13:07Mm-hmm.
13:08One, four, three?
13:09Yeah.
13:10What's that mean?
13:11I love you.
13:12I love you.
13:13I love you.
13:14You.
13:15I love you.
13:16I love you.
13:17You.
13:18One, four, three?
13:37What's that mean?
13:38I love you.
13:38I love you.
13:46Shaniqua?
13:47Shaniqua.
13:47Shaniqua.
13:48Shaniqua.
13:52Whenever I feel down or something, I feel like I can talk to him.
13:58He guides me through it.
14:01And I love it.
14:02I got a letter.
14:03I'm yours and I know you're mine.
14:10We chose our fate and now our destiny is entwined.
14:13Remember, girl, this is still just a start.
14:16We always took that through us apart.
14:18But I love you, brother.
14:19You know what's coming up.
14:20We're locked away with prison bars holding us back.
14:23Our love is being tested because they're trying to make us part, but yet we're holding on strong.
14:28The story that we want to tell here.
14:35The story that we want to tell here.
14:49No, but what do you want?
14:51There could be so many things that you can make something of in here.
14:53You can make something of a kid fighting.
14:55You can make something of a kid's death.
14:56You can make a thing of a relationship in here.
15:01That's a good idea.
15:03That's a great idea.
15:04Oh my god, she's so smart.
15:05Okay, that's the story.
15:06Do you guys know the story of Romeo and Juliet?
15:09Yes.
15:10I don't.
15:11Not really.
15:12You don't?
15:13I know it's weird.
15:14You've heard of it.
15:15I've heard of it, but I've never read it or watched a movie about it.
15:19A relationship in jail.
15:21Yeah, but also something else.
15:23It's a relationship.
15:24What makes it really interesting.
15:25And how it makes it hard for that person and the people around it.
15:28Yes.
15:29Yeah.
15:30There you go.
15:31And we could call it Romeo and Juliet.
15:39Does the relationship that these two kids have make other people on the unit feel like
15:44they want a relationship too?
15:46Buddy, I'm not saying the story is about you, but seeing her makes me want to have a boyfriend
15:52experience.
15:53So bad.
15:54Me seeing people in a relationship in here makes me not want to have a relationship at
15:57all.
15:58Frustrated?
15:59Yeah.
16:00By seeing a boyfriend experience.
16:01Level one.
16:02Level one.
16:03Level one.
16:04Level one.
16:05Level one.
16:06Level one.
16:07Level one.
16:08Why does it sound like Mr. Um...
16:10You know how I feel?
16:11It's the fact...
16:12It always has to be about them, right?
16:14Okay.
16:15No offense.
16:16Happy for them, but...
16:17Girlfriends always just turn on you, man.
16:20They want to put you down, they'll do it.
16:22It doesn't matter.
16:23You know what I mean?
16:25Why would you throw shit at me?
16:27Because you're fucking being a bitch.
16:28I'm not being a bitch.
16:29Yeah, you can't even take a fucking joke.
16:30All you do is fucking be angry all the time.
16:32Well, just two seconds ago when you were in the corridor when we were coming down from
16:35here, you told me not to talk to you.
16:37So all of a sudden you're joking around with me?
16:39It was a joke.
16:40In the corridor when we were coming down from Delta, you just didn't tell me that I was
16:43talking to you.
16:44Just drop it.
16:45I'm making a scene.
16:46Just drop it.
16:47So what?
16:48So it's just my fault that it happened that way?
16:49No, seriously, because it's driving me crazy.
16:51It's me, man.
16:52I didn't ask for any of this.
16:53And you drive me crazy all the time.
16:54Why?
16:55Because it happens to be my way all the time when I don't ask for it?
16:57It's not about asking.
16:58Then speak up, man.
16:59It's about your entitlement that you think that you have.
17:02I don't think I have an entitlement.
17:03You give it to me.
17:04You push your way to the front all the time.
17:06You give it to me.
17:07So how are we going to resolve this?
17:28I saw a friend I see at school, right?
17:40So we never chilled, so I was like, hey, let's just kick it, right?
17:44Like, together and stuff, right?
17:46So we were just chilling and stuff and decided to jump.
17:51People, right?
17:52Like, we were just angry, right?
17:54Like, I was really out of control.
17:57That's what I mean, right?
17:58Angry and stuff.
17:59And, yeah, just killed two people back to back, right?
18:05Days and stuff.
18:07I came in here for, you know, killing two innocent people.
18:25Did nothing to me.
18:26Didn't even look at me wrong or anything.
18:28Just felt like doing it, right?
18:30How long ago was that?
18:32I was 15.
18:33Three years ago.
18:34Yeah.
18:35I thought about it every day.
18:40What if I did this, you know?
18:42What if I did that, right?
18:43What if I wasn't there, you know?
18:45Like, what if, you know?
18:46If you could change the past, you would?
18:49The only thing I'd want to change is just bringing those lives back, right?
18:53Honestly, that's, like, the only thing, right?
18:56Not about me being free, just getting those lives back.
19:00That's it.
19:01But you didn't explain why you came in here this last time.
19:07Um, because I ran over a cop.
19:10You know, I woke up in the morning and, um, I was at a crack shack and I didn't want to be around a whole bunch of people because they kept asking me over and over and over and I, like, wasn't even awake and I was just, like, really bitchy and I decided to leave.
19:25Like, I wasn't worried, I was getting high, whatever, doo-doo-doo-doo, and, um, a cop came behind me.
19:30And the guy who owned the car, supposedly, was like, oh my god, fucking god, this is a cop's office, doo-doo-doo-doo, right?
19:37And, um, I'm like, why are you worried?
19:39I was like, this is your fucking car, right?
19:41I turned around and he's, like, harsh, like, sweating now.
19:43I'm like, this isn't your fucking car!
19:45I think that's the fucking bullshit!
19:47I fucking snapped.
19:49I harsh locked the fucking doors.
19:51I was pulling up into a light and I had the cop car behind me.
19:54I didn't know that this was an undercover car, right beside me, and there's an undercover car right in front of me.
19:59While I had a gun to my fucking head and shit, I'm beating this fucking guy up.
20:04I have a long fucking ass crack pipe and I'm fucking whipping him with it.
20:08I noticed a fucking cop that I did not like.
20:12Um, for reasons of that he broke my ribs for no reason when I was younger.
20:19And I'm serious for no reason.
20:21And he's robbed me for five grand.
20:24And he's kicked my face into the dirt and just left me there and took my money.
20:28He was in the spot where I had to leave anyways.
20:31And I probably wouldn't have went if it was, like, if it was a cop or whatever that, like, you know what I mean?
20:36But, like, it was him so I didn't give a fuck.
20:40And I ran him over and I paralyzed him from the waist down.
20:44And he's paralyzed for life.
21:10So what did you learn from the crime?
21:16I don't know how to answer that, right?
21:18Like, it's so hard because no one ever asks you that shit, right?
21:21Like, they just ask what happened, you know?
21:24That's it.
21:25You know, they don't ask you what did you learn from it, right?
21:27Like, it's a little freaking poster I made.
21:30You know?
21:31Yeah, sure, yeah.
21:32A lot of anger here.
21:34I always needed to hurt people.
21:39To me, that was the only thing that made me feel, you know?
21:42Like, how I did, right?
21:44Like, full adrenaline made me feel alive and stuff, you know?
21:48I don't like rats.
21:53I've never been a rat and I don't associate with them.
21:57And it was all by, like, chance, man.
22:00I was at a gas station and there was this guy there and he ratted me out.
22:04And I was like, no fucking way.
22:06I called my buddy up and told him he was here.
22:10And I pulled the papers out because I had the papers on him for ratting me out.
22:14And I put that on his face and I said, would you like to tell me about this?
22:18And he's looking at me and he starts bawling.
22:22I was like, I fucking jail time for you, you fucking goof.
22:26And I fucking cut his tongue off on his fingers.
22:34I kept having a dream over and over.
22:52And I just couldn't get the picture out of my head of someone scared.
22:56That was the dream of when I was torturing somebody and they kept asking me why.
23:02So, um, I drew it.
23:07Did drawing it change anything for you?
23:10Yeah, I stopped dreaming about it.
23:15I don't really feel remorse for that.
23:18Because I was raised as if you do something like that, that's what you get.
23:25I remember when my mom fucked up when I was harsh little,
23:28my brother doesn't even remember it, that I hid underneath the staircase
23:31and I was holding my brother and covering his eyes while people beat my mom and dad nearly to death.
23:36Because of a drug deal gone bad.
23:41So to me, that's normal.
23:43And I know that's not supposed to be normal, but that's just, like, you know what I mean?
23:49Like, you gotta be careful what you do out in the game.
23:52Like, it is a game.
23:53It's not life.
23:54It's a game that you have to play every fucking day.
23:56And if you slip, you fuck up.
23:58And you pay the consequences for it.
24:04That's just how it is.
24:06Like, there's a big difference between in life of being a Bonnie and Clyde
24:11and being a Romeo and Juliet.
24:12One or two new nine more, please.
24:15Some people think it's all easy to have your boyfriend in here.
24:19It's not.
24:21Like, I haven't even been able to cuddle with him or touch him
24:26or worry about kissing him without getting in trouble.
24:28No more.
24:29It's exhausting.
24:30It's emotional.
24:31It fucks with your head.
24:34The windows get to you, you know?
24:36Like, just one window, one door blocking you, you know?
24:39Yeah, it sucks.
24:42But, I don't know.
24:45We'll be out soon.
24:47We'll be out soon.
25:08My drug days are over now, so...
25:13You know, practice what I preach, you know?
25:15Yeah, yeah.
25:16Yeah, yeah.
25:21She's doing okay?
25:22She's doing good?
25:23Yeah, she is.
25:25She's stronger than she thinks.
25:27Yeah.
25:28She is.
25:30She's, uh...
25:32It's something else.
25:35He's so fucking stubborn, Larry, man.
25:37I harshly...
25:38Didn't he tell you what happened?
25:40What happened?
25:41Oh, fuck.
25:42What happened?
25:43I harshly dumped him, man.
25:45I told him that I needed a break to think about stuff.
25:48And then, uh...
25:50And, like, it's big major stuff, so, like, it's stuff that, like, I'm not gonna mention.
25:56Cause, uh...
25:57Yeah, I can't mention it.
25:58And then, uh...
25:59I told him, I was like, don't make me fucking push you away, right?
26:02And more than I had to.
26:03And then, uh...
26:04And then, uh...
26:05I'm not off for a second, and I'll tell you what happened.
26:15Diamond tells me events beyond her control are forcing her to return to the drug trade when she gets out.
26:22She's worried that Phoenix will get caught up in the game.
26:25Fucked up, eh?
26:26I never put myself in that position.
26:27I just can fix it.
26:28And I know I can.
26:29It's easy.
26:30It's simple.
26:31I told you I used to make lots of money, man.
26:32You can sell drugs anywhere.
26:33You just have to know the right people, right?
26:34Easy.
26:35It's simple.
26:36It's quick.
26:37One drug transaction, you can make fucking...
26:56I know, it's like, everything that I've worked for, like, everything that's, like, perfectly set up for me is, like...
27:01up for me is like basically like it's going to get turned into one big fucking cover.
27:09Are you okay? I don't know what I am yet. I don't know what I am. I've been so fucking lost.
27:16I'm like fuck.
27:26He's been like upset for like the past week or whatever because I won't even look at him and
27:29it's because uh that what did you say the your eyes are like windows to your soul yeah and that's
27:37the reason why I won't look at him is because I know that he knows what I'm feeling and I don't
27:40like that you know what I mean like I'm trying to hide a few things and it's like not working.
27:49He's making it so much worse he doesn't even understand. He's like so you think I'm just
27:54gonna let you go? He's like no I don't think so. He's like I'm staying right here. He's like I'm not
28:00leaving you. Right and like oh my god that just like makes him even more perfect.
28:12She was trying to protect me from the life that she chose to live.
28:16I'm not in that life because I chose not to right.
28:21That's the difference between me right here. I learned from what I did right. I fell down
28:25I got right back up right. I'm not gonna sit around and just talk about it and feel sorry for myself.
28:33But what really like you know makes two people different you know is like how you deal with it
28:44right you know. You could sit around you know in jail talking about like all the shit you've been
28:54through you know you feel sorry for yourself you know like talk about it you know like and not do
29:00anything about it right. Or you can talk about it and do something about it you know. And that's what I did.
29:06Right.
29:18Intensity has changed for the better and has learned patience and empathy.
29:22And if you want to do something do it and don't let anybody tell you different because with dedication
29:32hard work and stress people can accomplish anything to put their mind to. This is the longest road I've
29:38ever walked and I'm happy that I finally reached that mark in my life.
29:51I'm gonna try to go to like plumbing companies try to get taken in as an apprentice you know.
29:55Try to get some experience.
29:59Fuck I'm on a roll right now you know. I got this is it right like just give me this chance and you know
30:06I'm done right like unless you will not fuck up again. I won't man like it's impossible.
30:14You can't do this much time and not and want to come back to jail you know.
30:23Yeah man I'm done with this fucking place.
30:27Either way I'm done with this fucking place right.
30:36Yeah these are all songs.
30:59There we go this is it right here.
31:06I made a song I thought I'd go good with this this movie because it's kind of like I don't know
31:26like a love song almost you know so yeah.
31:32I thought about her thought I'd write a song right.
31:46It all started with that one sentence that uh I remember seeing you for the first time
31:51girl right and then I liked that right and then I started working upon that and then I just made the
31:58all song right.
32:01I'll do anything to make you happy girl I'll do anything you want just to see you smile your girl and
32:09baby girl I need your loyalty and your trust stay faithful girl cause I know that it's gonna help us
32:16I know that me and you belong together she's got them bluish green eyes it makes me smile when I see her
32:30every day I'll never get tired of looking at you it's the first time a song's been made for me but it's
32:36the first time I've ever heard someone sing it to me you know so when I heard this song this morning and I cried it was because
32:49oh yeah
32:51I know that me and you belong together yeah yeah he actually loves me
33:05so I'm just saying I need you what am I need you what am I need you what am I need you what am I need you what am I need you oh my goodness
33:31I don't wish I had a man like that, you don't even know what you mean.
33:34You can't pick me like that.
33:35I have so much respect for now.
33:43Merry Christmas.
34:01And take us to heaven to live with thee there.
34:31Merry Christmas!
35:01Just a reminder, if we have the residents, please stay in their seats unless the staff has asked them to leave the seats.
35:22Please leave the seats of those staff.
35:25We'll see each other, for sure.
35:37We'll see each other, for sure.
35:42She's a girl I really care about.
35:48Yeah, we'll see each other, for sure.
35:51Yeah, we'll see each other.
35:55I'll be calling her.
36:01We'll talk to each other and stuff.
36:04Thirteen and a half months, so we'll be out.
36:07Sounds good right now.
36:10It'll sound better when I got like two months left.
36:15But right now, it's still a long time for me.
36:19I'll be with you for dinner.
36:42What?
36:43Yeah, we'll be working tomorrow morning.
36:44I don't want to get out.
36:46What do you mean you don't want to get out?
36:48What do you mean?
36:49I just don't want to get out.
36:51You don't want to get out?
36:52No.
37:08I was so thankful to be here, because jail has always been
37:12the place where I have felt safe.
37:15Ever since I was 13 years old, this has always been my comfort zone.
37:19Nobody's ever messed with me.
37:25Are you afraid of getting out?
37:27Sure.
37:29Yeah.
37:34What do you think is the scariest of what getting out?
37:42To fail.
37:50Got a whole bunch of people out there.
37:54And they're expecting you to be this.
37:57And if you fuck up, they're just going to hurt.
38:00What do you want to do?
38:06Leave me.
38:09Then I'm going to have no more options.
38:13Then I'm just going to be some criminal the rest of my life.
38:16Bye, baby.
38:17Have a good day.
38:18Good luck.
38:33Tell the I love him.
38:37Here it goes.
38:41Promise?
38:42Promise.
38:44I don't think of myself as a criminal.
38:47Like, the only thing that I've done in the criminalized way
38:51is sell drugs and fucking have guns on me
38:54and run over a cop.
38:57And just selling drugs and holding a weapon is all over survival.
39:00Which one are we in?
39:02The weapon right here.
39:07It's normal.
39:08For some kids, it's normal until they grow up.
39:30Once a kid gets out of jail, they're not allowed contact
39:32with anyone in the institution.
39:34Not hearing from her.
39:39It sucks.
39:41Phoenix knows this, but attempts to contact Diamond anyway.
39:44Try to get a hold of her.
39:46Try.
39:50Yeah.
40:04A few weeks later, Phoenix finally reaches Diamond by phone.
40:18During that time, she was smoking a lot of weed and stuff, right?
40:24Once I heard she was selling weed, I just knew that she was fucking up.
40:27I knew she was going to fuck up again.
40:30Deep down, I knew.
40:31I was like, fuck.
40:32That's what I told her.
40:33You know, you're going to, it's going to escalate.
40:34She's like, no, no, no, it isn't.
40:39And it did escalate, right?
40:40It did.
40:41Yeah, so.
40:43And I heard she's an adult now, so.
40:45New charges.
40:46I loved it, right?
40:47I still do, right?
40:50But.
40:52I know it can't work out.
40:54I was sad and I was kind of heartbroken and stuff that she, had to, you know.
41:08And now the, go down like that.
41:09down like that, but it's real life, right?
41:22I don't regret anything that's happened between me.
41:25She taught me a lot of things, you know?
41:28You know, like, really made me, like,
41:30think about life a lot, you know?
41:31Like, life's too short to be angry all the time, you know?
41:36Yeah, so.
41:38To be honest, we weren't very much different.
41:43The difference was that she just decided
41:45to keep on going with it.
41:47She's good at making money like that, right?
41:50She's like, well, I'm good at it, right?
41:53I'm good at hurting people too, right?
41:55But where's that going to get me, right?
41:59Like, fuck.
42:01Where's that going to get you, right?
42:03I wish I said that to her.
42:06I really do.
42:08I love blinds yoga, so.
42:13All right.
42:14Here.
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