- 1 week ago
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FunTranscript
00:00You've been talking to me like Mario all day long.
00:03Oh, mommy, okay.
00:05Back in my day, we had Wonder Woman.
00:07Now your generation wonders if it is a woman.
00:12What up, y'all? We back again. This is Top Things.
00:20The point of a pillow is to be soft.
00:23Otherwise, you might as well sleep using a rock when going camping.
00:27Don't bring memory foam pillows when winter camping.
00:31I brought the wrong pillow.
00:41Oh, no.
00:43Bombastic side eye.
00:45Criminal offensive side eye.
00:48Do it.
00:48PoV, you randomly bump into a Japanese man and this happens.
01:02Oh, it's okay. Don't worry. Don't worry.
01:07It's okay. It's okay.
01:16Near-spoken words was hard.
01:18How about communicating through notes?
01:20Singapore, perfect.
01:21And what language do you reckon they speak there?
01:23Um, I don't think they speak.
01:24I think they sing.
01:25Uncle.
01:29Can I get a goldfish?
01:33See you die.
01:38I eat my little pig.
01:42I'm eating some air fried chicken.
01:46Mm-hmm.
01:47You know how I know that that wing was hot?
01:49Because the bone had stinging coming off of it.
01:52And then you ate it without even going hot.
01:53It almost made me look past the fact that you chew like a hamster.
01:57Good intentions, but the delivery is flawed.
02:05Wow.
02:09It almost looks like someone slipped and fell in the mud.
02:14What an idiot they are.
02:17They just put that in there.
02:19Railway.
02:21Railway.
02:22Hello.
02:22Asian driver.
02:26I told you Asian driver.
02:28Can you say mama?
02:31Mama.
02:33Can you say mama's name?
02:36Da-da.
02:38Da-da.
02:39Da-da.
02:42Okay.
02:43The awkward moment when your expectations for something is so off that you end up regretting it.
02:50Hey guys, today I'm going to try sushi.
02:53I'm so happy.
02:55Here I go.
02:57Oh.
02:59Okay.
03:00Man, I hate my eyebrows.
03:16When you're mixed race, but the people at school don't believe it.
03:23And this is what he's known by.
03:25What did you say?
03:26You said people call you what?
03:28The seasoned chicken.
03:30Look at all these caterpillars.
03:39You know the funny thing about these caterpillars?
03:42It's like when you start yelling, they start dancing.
03:45Watch this.
03:45Everybody put your hands up.
03:48Put your hands up.
03:49Hey!
03:53A person's cultural background plays a big part in their views on dating.
03:58See, I'm Chinese.
03:59Red is a color used for celebration.
04:01So like when I see a red flag, I'm just like, oh my gosh.
04:06I'm about to have so much fun.
04:08You can't get any more English than drinking tea from a tea set.
04:36Allow her to demonstrate this theory.
04:39I made one of the best purchases of my life yesterday.
04:42Guess what I bought?
04:43I bought a little tea cap with a little plate.
04:47I got this at HomeGoods.
04:48It's so cute.
04:49Look at the plate.
04:50Little hearts.
04:51Oh my God.
04:51My inner child is so happy right now.
04:54Take a gander at this lady.
04:55So I told Prince Charles.
04:56I said, if you want to call to me, you're going to have to find a fighter's carriages in all of London.
05:03Meredith, darling, don't tell me you're planning on wearing that to the ball tonight.
05:06It looks absolutely ghastly.
05:09I'm sorry.
05:10I lost my legs in matters there.
05:12This is supposed to be the year your soulmate was born.
05:15That's the trend.
05:17That's like 14 years older than me.
05:21Why are we zooming in?
05:23I don't know if I like this.
05:25Enough.
05:26So, oh my God, the comb broke.
05:28Oh wow, that's amazing.
05:29Oh my God.
05:31Damn, what the hell is happening?
05:33It's okay.
05:33Okay.
05:34We'll just get one.
05:35Okay.
05:35Okay?
05:36Yep.
05:36We're going to put in a little bit of a brownie.
05:39A little bit.
05:39That's a whole thing.
05:40Uh-huh.
05:40Whatever.
05:41Faith in humanity is yet again being questioned based off how generous people are these days.
05:48Miss?
05:51Hi, Miss.
05:52Yes?
05:53Can I, would you like $1 or do you want to double it and give it to the next person?
05:57Give me the dollar.
05:59Do you, no.
05:59I'm saying, do you want the dollar or do you want to double it and give it to the next person
06:02so the next person gets $2?
06:04Give me the dollar.
06:05You said if I want to $1.
06:06No, you're not getting a dollar.
06:07The leading cause of mental breakdowns and anxiety in the world might actually come from
06:33TikTok filters.
06:34I keep seeing this either like humble people or like boost their ego.
06:39So I want to see which way it's going to go for me.
06:41Oh.
06:42Oh.
06:44What?
06:46My mom always told me the best way to not spill water out of the ice trays to pretend that you
06:51don't have it.
06:53Let's give it a try.
07:03Hey, yo.
07:04Here's a lecture from mom that no one can escape from, whether human or house pet.
07:15What I tell you is, why it's not easy to escape from a son.
07:20It's not easy.
07:22What are you going to do with your son?
07:24What are you going to do with him?
07:25Where is your husband?
07:29I have your nose.
07:32Look at what I have.
07:3312 a.m.
07:48Talk with the bestie and it's like she forgot how to English.
07:52Comfortably.
07:53Comfortably.
07:55Comfortably.
07:56She's what?
07:58She can't.
07:58Mate.
07:59You can't teach me English comfortably.
08:01Comfortably.
08:02Comfortably.
08:04Comfortably.
08:04Comfortably.
08:05Comfortably.
08:06Comfortably.
08:07I don't actually have a crush on anyone who's real.
08:09So this is just, this is just going to be with my fictional crush.
08:12What it looks when the parent imitates the eating habits of the 1.5 year old.
08:35I'm like, are you okay?
08:38No.
08:38Are you choking?
08:40No.
08:41Idiot.
08:41I love these.
08:51It's good.
08:53I'm stuck.
09:02Who is Ryan?
09:03As a Danish citizen, I'm quite offended of the things that you've just said about my mother.
09:14Please don't do that again.
09:16Oh.
09:17Oh.
09:18This is the true definition of customer service.
09:21Check it out.
09:25Hello?
09:27There's nobody at this desk.
09:30This is a customer.
09:31Yeah, it keeps ringing, but I just wanted to let you know there's nobody here and nobody
09:36coming, so I'm going to put it back.
09:39All right.
09:39Thank you, sir.
09:40Bye.
09:40The little brother making sure his sister doesn't look like a fool with chocolate on her face in public.
10:03Okay, not the whole thing, because you have to put that, like, you have to put that, like,
10:08No.
10:09Daddy, do you mind if I tell you something?
10:12Yeah, I do.
10:13You have a little chocolate on your way here.
10:15Wait, look at me.
10:25It's like the Spider-Man meme.
10:28I just hurt my back doing a, um, well, I'll just show you.
10:34So, it was, oh, my voice.
10:37My daughter made brownies for the first time.
10:41You are so mean.
10:45They're super chewy.
10:48I tried my best.
10:51No matter how hard you try to cover it up, one of these days, the accent will find its
10:57way to the surface.
10:58So, bro, um, what do you do for a living?
11:01You know, it's funny you should ask that.
11:02That's a good question.
11:03Um, I'm actually a computer engineer.
11:08Um, I'm sorry, you're actually a what?
11:12A computer engineer.
11:15So, I was just walking along, and I hear this sound, and I'm like, what the hell?
11:22There's a pinky snapper, and Ratatouille just comes out of nowhere, or Master Splinter from
11:27Ninja Turtles, takes away this fish into his dungeon in there, feeding all his Ninja Turtles.
11:33That is bloody sick, guys.
11:36I am a genius.
11:47It works.
11:55It works.
11:55Try not to take too long in the store with your dog waiting in the car.
12:11Otherwise, they'll find ways to make you speed up the process.
12:15That's my damn dog.
12:20That's my dog.
12:24Can you?
12:31Can you not do that, Xena?
12:33Xena, do not get on the horn.
12:36Get in the back.
12:39Don't do that.
12:40I'll be right back.
12:42No way.
12:42Is that Don in a box from Amazon?
12:45On Johns?
12:46On Ron John?
12:47On Don Juan?
12:48On Crayons?
12:49On a swan drawn?
12:50On Ron Swan son?
12:51On Elon?
12:52On LeBron?
12:53On Spawn?
12:54On Mulan?
12:55On Mulan?
12:56On Mulan?
12:57Yeah, listen.
12:58I just wanted to give you a compliment.
13:02Compliment.
13:03I...
13:04Sorry.
13:07Hey, sweetie.
13:09Hey, I was just curious.
13:11How excited are you to reorganize the...
13:13Boom.
13:14Apparently, if you eat a whole yellow dragon fruit,
13:17it's supposed to give you the poopiest poop of your whole entire pooping life.
13:21The poopiest poop poop that you could ever poop in your pooping pooping life.
13:25So I'm going to eat this whole thing.
13:27And then give you guys an update.
13:38Excuse me.
13:39Will you hold my phone a second?
13:40Like a quick TikTok?
13:42Thank you so much.
13:43It's already recording and ready to go.
13:44Thank you, KindSol.
13:49Normal!
13:52Some people damaged their devices and say it was just a scratch.
13:56And this is what said scratch looks like.
14:00You know, I did drop my laptop, but it's...
14:03I honestly don't think it's that bad.
14:06You know, it looks worse than it really is, honestly.
14:09And, you know, I was getting funny looks trying to use this thing.
14:14But, you know, I really think it's overblown.
14:17Like, everyone freaking out, saying,
14:19Oh, Luke, this is so bad.
14:20Like, you shouldn't be using that.
14:22It's going to hurt you or whatever.
14:23Like, come on, man.
14:24See, it's fine.
14:27It's literally not that big a deal.
14:32She f***ing drooled on me.
14:34What the f***?
14:35Wake up, bro.
14:37Ella!
14:38You drooled on me!
14:39My friend came to the door.
15:02She said,
15:03Well, I was on the phone cooking me and my baby some breakfast.
15:06And she said,
15:06Hey, some wrong is popping.
15:08I said,
15:09What?
15:09She said,
15:09Yeah.
15:10I said,
15:11Nah.
15:11She said,
15:12Oh, man.
15:13The building is on fire.
15:16I said,
15:16Now,
15:17What?
15:17I grabbed my three kids and we bounced out.
15:20Uh-uh.
15:20We ain't gonna be no fire.
15:22Not today.
15:24The life hack that all parents didn't know they needed,
15:27but makes life ten times easier.
15:30I figured out the ultimate tool to have in your hand
15:32when you've got a toddler running around a department store.
15:35It wants to touch everything.
15:38Wrapping paper.
15:39You don't look weird holding it.
15:41Everyone's like,
15:41That guy's just gonna wrap a present.
15:43But it's really good for steering.
15:47And it's really good for stopping.
15:50It's soft.
15:51And no one thinks you look weird.
15:53Look at this.
15:54Look.
15:55Oh, oh, oh.
15:56Oh, stop.
15:57Stop.
15:57Let's go this way.
15:58Let's go this way.
15:59Good, good.
15:59Oh.
15:59It's nice and soft and colorful.
16:04It's perfect.
16:05Oh, she fell over.
16:06Oh my god.
16:09Oh my god.
16:12Oh.
16:13Oh, I wonder if you can hear the ocean.
16:21Oh.
16:21You can.
16:22You can.
16:23I don't know if the camera on the phone is going to pick this up, but listen.
16:31Trying to explain your issues while using English as a second language.
16:38Explain.
16:39Explanation of this.
16:41I wake up in the morning and say, yeah, this is the sea.
16:50I hear my phone ringing on the fornell.
16:55Then when I wake up, I run to stop the fornell.
16:59And then when I move my ass very fast, like this, I hit here.
17:07You're not my friend's table.
17:09Hello, boss.
17:21Everything is perfect.
17:23100%.
17:24Mm-hmm.
17:26Lecturing his dog as if it were human.
17:29Although dogs can't understand English, it seems to understand every word in this clip.
17:35I'm not done with you.
17:36Sit down.
17:37Sit down.
17:40I understand she's new.
17:42You have to teach her the order of the pack, but you do not have to play so rough.
17:46You're 53 pounds.
17:48I think she's only 10.
17:54You should be willing to share and control yourself.
17:56You're not in charge.
17:57You don't run anything.
17:58Her ears.
17:59So stay in your place.
18:00If she needs to be corrected, I am right here.
18:04Meanwhile, those dogs just minding her business.
18:08Do you understand?
18:08Why are you doing that with your eyes, bro?
18:13Because she got an attitude.
18:14She mad.
18:14But I don't care if you mad because you're not in charge.
18:17Now go about your business, bro.
18:18Go.
18:21Straight to the house.
18:24Kids.
18:25Speaking other languages has its perks, some of which may not be as conventional as you think.
18:32I learn as many languages as I do purely for the gossip and the flex.
18:35You might be like, really?
18:36You spend this many hours learning this many languages for the tea?
18:39Yes, okay?
18:40And recently, I went to a party and this guy sat down next to me.
18:42We get to talking.
18:43He's like, oh, you're Russian.
18:44Do you speak any Russian?
18:45And I'm like, I'm speaking Russian.
18:47That's like the only sentence I can say off the top of my head.
18:49He's like, oh, damn.
18:50I'd love to learn my family's language and like get more in touch with my heritage,
18:53but I can speak it like a little bit, just not really well.
18:55And I'm like, oh, what's the language?
18:56He says Mandarin.
18:58I look at him.
18:59I go.
18:59He's like, shut up.
19:03You do not speak Mandarin.
19:04I'm like, this is the only reason I learn it.
19:07Yes, I do.
19:08He's like, okay.
19:10I'm like, he's like, shut up.
19:12Delectable.
19:13Okay, picture it.
19:13A random victim at a random party.
19:15He sits down next to a white girl.
19:16He's a little drunk.
19:17He's a little high.
19:18And she starts speaking Mandarin to him.
19:20He never saw it coming.
19:29Like what you see?
19:40You're going to love what we have next.
19:42Before you go, don't forget to like, comment, share, and subscribe.
19:45And we'll see you guys again on the next one.
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