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00:00You've been talking to me like Mario all day long.
00:03Oh, mommy, okay.
00:05Back in my day, we had Wonder Woman.
00:07Now your generation wonders if it is a woman.
00:12What up, y'all? We back again. This is Top Things.
00:20The point of a pillow is to be soft.
00:23Otherwise, you might as well sleep using a rock when going camping.
00:27Don't bring memory foam pillows when winter camping.
00:31I brought the wrong pillow.
00:41Oh, no.
00:43Bombastic side eye.
00:45Criminal offensive side eye.
00:48Do it.
00:48PoV, you randomly bump into a Japanese man and this happens.
01:02Oh, it's okay. Don't worry. Don't worry.
01:07It's okay. It's okay.
01:16Near-spoken words was hard.
01:18How about communicating through notes?
01:20Singapore, perfect.
01:21And what language do you reckon they speak there?
01:23Um, I don't think they speak.
01:24I think they sing.
01:25Uncle.
01:29Can I get a gobier suit?
01:34I'm going to eat me some air fried chicken.
01:46You know how I know that that wing was hot?
01:49Because the bone had stinging coming off of it.
01:52And then you ate it without even going hot.
01:53It almost made me look past the fact that you chew like a hamster.
01:57Good intentions, but the delivery is flawed.
02:05Wow, it almost looks like someone slipped and fell in the mud.
02:13What an idiot they are.
02:17They just put that in there.
02:19Railway. Railway. Hello.
02:22Oh, Asian driver.
02:26I told you, Asian driver.
02:28Can you say, Mama?
02:31Mama?
02:33Can you say, Mama's name?
02:37Dada.
02:39Dada.
02:42Okay.
02:42The awkward moment when your expectations for something is so off that you end up regretting it.
02:50Hey guys, today I'm going to try sushi.
02:53I'm so happy.
02:55Here I go.
02:56Man, I hate my eyebrows.
03:16When you're mixed race, but the people at school don't believe it.
03:23And this is what he's known by.
03:25What did you say?
03:26You said people call you what?
03:28Hello.
03:29The seasoned chicken.
03:30A person's cultural background plays a big part in their views on dating.
03:58See, I'm Chinese.
03:59Red is a color used for celebration.
04:01So like when I see a red flag, I'm just like, oh my gosh.
04:06I'm about to have so much fun.
04:09How you do the thing with your neck?
04:12I mean, it's come with durability and stability and velocity and velocity and collide and glide.
04:17It's come with everything like you gotta, you just gotta stroke that thing.
04:22Good job, Kylie.
04:24You're doing amazing, sweetie.
04:26Wow, look at her go.
04:28You can't get any more English than drinking tea from a tea set.
04:37Allow her to demonstrate this theory.
04:39I made one of the best purchases of my life yesterday.
04:42Guess what I bought?
04:43I bought a little tea cap with a little plate.
04:47I got this at HomeGoods.
04:48It's so cute.
04:49Look at the plate.
04:50Little hearts.
04:51Oh my God, my inner child is so happy right now.
04:53Take a gander at this lady.
04:55So I told Prince Charles, I said, if you want to call to me, you're going to have to find the finest carriages in all of London.
05:03Meredith, darling, don't tell me you're planning on wearing that to the ball tonight.
05:06It looks absolutely ghastly.
05:09I'm sorry, I lost my lady matters there.
05:12This is supposed to be the year your soulmate was born.
05:15That's the trend.
05:17That's like 14 years older than me.
05:21Why are we zooming in?
05:22I don't know if I like this enough.
05:26Oh my God, the comb broke.
05:28Oh wow, that's a bad thing.
05:29Oh my God.
05:31Damn, what the heck happened?
05:33It's okay.
05:33Okay.
05:34We'll just get one.
05:35Okay.
05:35Okay.
05:36We're going to put in a little bit of a brownie.
05:39A little bit, that's a whole thing.
05:40Uh-huh, whatever.
05:41Faith in humanity is yet again being questioned based off how generous people are these days.
05:49Miss.
05:51Hi, miss.
05:52Yes.
05:53Can I, would you like $1 or do you want to double it and give it to the next person?
05:57Give me the dollar.
05:59Do you, no, I'm saying do you want the dollar or do you want to double it and give it to the next person so the next person gets $2?
06:04Give me the dollar.
06:05You said if I want to $1.
06:06No, you're not getting a dollar.
06:08The leading cause of mental breakdowns and anxiety in the world might actually come from TikTok filters.
06:34I keep seeing this either like humble people or like boost their ego.
06:39So I want to see which way it's going to go for me.
06:41Oh.
06:43Oh.
06:45What?
06:45My mom always told me the best way to not spill water out of the ice trays to pretend that you don't have it.
06:52Let's give it a try.
06:54Let's give it a try.
06:54Let's give it a try.
06:56Here's a lecture from mom that no one can escape from, whether human or house pet.
07:15I have your nose.
07:30Look what I have.
07:3312 a.m. talk with the bestie and it's like she forgot how to English.
07:52Comfortably.
07:53Comfortably.
07:55Comfortably.
07:56She's what?
07:58She can't.
07:58Mate.
07:59You can't teach me English comfortably.
08:01Comfortably.
08:02Comfortably.
08:03Comfortably.
08:04Comfortably.
08:05Comfortably.
08:06Comfortably.
08:07I don't actually have a crush on anyone who's real.
08:09So this is just, this is just going to be with my fictional crush.
08:18Luigi.
08:19What it looks when the parent imitates the eating habits of the 1.5 year old.
08:33I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, are you, are you okay?
08:38No.
08:38Are you choking?
08:40No.
08:41Idiot.
08:42God.
08:42You look.
08:43Love these.
08:44nothing.
08:44What is your latest?
08:51It's good.
08:54It's good.
08:54I'm stuck.
08:56As a Danish citizen, I'm quite offended of the things that you've just said about my
09:13mother.
09:14Please don't do that again.
09:18This is the true definition of customer service.
09:22Check it out.
09:24Hello?
09:26There's nobody at this desk.
09:29This is a customer.
09:32Yeah, it keeps ringing, but I just wanted to let you know there's nobody here and nobody
09:36coming, so I'm going to put it back.
09:38Alright, thank you sir.
09:42The little brother making sure his sister doesn't look like a fool with chocolate on her face
10:03in public.
10:05Okay, not the whole thing, because you have to put that, like...
10:08No.
10:09Daddy, do you mind if I tell you something?
10:11Yeah, I do.
10:12Do you have a little chocolate on your way here?
10:17It's like the Spiderman meme.
10:27I just hurt my back doing a, um...
10:31No matter how hard you try to cover it up, one of these days the accent will find its way
10:47to the surface.
10:48So, bro, um, what do you do for a living?
10:49You know, it's funny you should ask that, that's a good question.
10:50Um, I'm actually a computer engineer.
10:54Um, I'm sorry, you're actually a what?
11:09A computer engineer.
11:17so i was just walking along and i hear this sound and i'm like what the hell there's a pinky snapper
11:23and ratatouille just comes out of nowhere or master splinter from ninja turtles takes away
11:29this fish into his dungeon in there feeding all his ninja turtles that is bloody sick as i am a genius
11:47it works
11:51try not to take too long in the store with your dog waiting in the car
12:11otherwise they'll find ways to make you speed up the process
12:17that's my damn dog that's my dog
12:21can you
12:25can you not do that xena xena get do not get on the horn get in the back
12:39don't do that i'll be right back no way is that dawn in a box from amazon on john's on ron john
12:47on don juan on crayons on a swan drawn on ron swan son on elan on lebron on spawn on mulan
12:55on milan on my lawn yeah listen i just wanted to give you a compliment
12:59compliment
13:02i sorry hey sweetie hey i was just curious how excited are you to uh reorganize the game
13:14boom apparently if you eat a whole yellow dragon fruit it's supposed to give you the poopiest poop
13:18of your whole entire pooping life the poopiest poop poop that you could ever poop in your poop and poop
13:24in life so i'm gonna eat this whole thing and then give you guys an update
13:29excuse me
13:38will you hold my phone a second like a quick tiktok
13:41thank you so much it's already recording and ready to go thank you
13:45some people damage their devices
13:54and say it was just a scratch and this is what said scratch looks like
13:59you know i did drop my laptop but it's i honestly don't think it's that bad
14:05you know it's it looks worse than it really is uh honestly and yeah i was getting funny looks
14:12trying to use this thing but you know i i really think it's overblown like everyone freaking out
14:18saying oh luke this is so bad like you shouldn't be using that it's gonna hurt you or whatever like
14:23come on man see it's fine it's literally not that big a deal
14:29she drooled on me
14:34wake up bro
14:36ella you drooled on me
14:39my friend came to the door she said while i was on the phone cooking me and my baby some breakfast
15:05and she said hey some wrong is popping i said what she said yeah i said no she said oh man the building is on fire i said now what i grabbed my three kids and we bounce out uh uh we ain't gonna be no fire not today
15:23the life hack that all parents didn't know they needed but makes life 10 times easier
15:30i figured out the ultimate tool to have in your hand when you've got a toddler running around a department store
15:34who wants to touch everything
15:36wrapping paper you don't look weird holding it everyone's like that guy's just gonna wrap a present
15:42but it's really good for steering
15:45it's really good for stopping it's soft
15:50and no one thinks you look weird
15:53look at this look oh oh oh stop stop let's go this way let's go this way
15:59it's nice and soft and colorful
16:04it's perfect oh she fell over
16:05oh my god oh my god oh oh my god oh oh i wonder if you can hear the ocean
16:21oh you can you can uh i don't know if the camera on the phone is gonna pick this up but listen
16:27trying to explain your issues while using english as a second language
16:38explain explanation of this
16:43i wake up in the morning yeah this is the sea
16:49i be home inside my phone ringing on the phone then when i woke up i run
16:57to stop the the fornel and then when i when i move my ass very fast like this i hit here
17:08you're not my friend's table
17:18oh hello what everything is perfect 100%
17:24mm-hmm lecturing his dog as if it were human although dogs can't understand english it seems to
17:32understand every word in this clip i'm done with you sit down sit down
17:40i understand she's new you have to teach her the order of the pack but you do not have to play so rough
17:45you're 53 pounds i i think she's only 10
17:54you should be willing to share and control yourself you're not in charge you don't run anything
17:58her ears so stay in your place if she needs to be corrected i am right here
18:04meanwhile those dogs minding her business
18:06do you understand why are you doing that with your eyes bro because she got an attitude she mad
18:14but i don't care if you mad because you're not in charge now go about your business bro go straight
18:21to the house
18:24kids speaking other languages has its perks some of which may not be as conventional as you think
18:32i learn as many languages as i do purely for the gossip and the flex you might be like really you
18:36spend this many hours learning this many languages for the tea yes okay and recently i went to a party
18:41and this guy sat down next to me we get to talking he's like oh you're russian do you speak any russian
18:45and i'm like that's like the only sentence i can say off the top of my head he's like oh damn
18:50i'd love to learn my family's language and like get more in touch with my heritage but i can speak it
18:54like a little bit just not really well and i'm like oh what's the language he says mandarin
18:58i look at him i go he's like shut up you do not speak mandarin i'm like this is the only reason i
19:07learn it yes i do he's like okay i'm like she just like he's like shut up delectable okay picture
19:13it a random victim at a random party he sits down next to a white girl he's a little drunk he's a
19:17little high and she starts speaking mandarin to him he never saw it coming
19:39like what you see you're gonna love what we have next before you go don't forget to like comment
19:44share and subscribe and we'll see you guys again on the next one
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