2003 The Room FULL HOT MOVIE

Mr Hope

2003 The Room FULL HOT MOVIE  #EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull

Transcript

00:00:00I will never be prepared.

00:00:02Just generally speaking or?

00:00:04No, for The Room.

00:00:05Okay, fair enough.

00:00:05Like for the past few weeks I was like,

00:00:07I might actually just somehow acquire pure arsenal

00:00:10and just like poison myself.

00:00:12Well you see, you've watched a disaster rather

00:00:14so you should be able to read.

00:00:15Yeah, but it's like I always get afraid at the start.

00:00:20Right, with that being said,

00:00:21hello everybody, it's your old friends at Monday Madness

00:00:23and welcome to Bad Movie Nights.

00:00:25And we're watching The Room.

00:00:27I actually am so excited.

00:00:29Oh, hi Burtbop.

00:00:31Oh, hi.

00:00:32Oh, hi James.

00:00:33Hi.

00:00:34Oh, hi Mookie.

00:00:35Hi.

00:00:35Oh, what a story.

00:00:38Take that out and put it in your pocket.

00:00:41So, we're going to be watching a real American movie

00:00:45in The Room.

00:00:47I suppose the Holy Grail of Bad Movies

00:00:50starting the year off with a fucking bang.

00:00:53So, I think we've all,

00:00:56I would have written saying,

00:00:57we've all watched this once before

00:00:58in our own time.

00:00:59Yeah, in its entirety once.

00:01:00In its entirety once.

00:01:02Right.

00:01:02But not for our immediate reactions though.

00:01:05No, I've attempted to watch it many more times.

00:01:09Right.

00:01:10But never really succeeded.

00:01:13I don't think I've ever watched it

00:01:15not under the influence.

00:01:19I've watched it once sober

00:01:20and once there's a drinking game.

00:01:22I believe, have you done that as well, Mooka?

00:01:27No, I haven't.

00:01:28Actually, no, the first time I saw it,

00:01:30I only had enough money for one pint

00:01:33because it was each other in the pub.

00:01:35That's fine.

00:01:35Because, yeah, broke out student and everything.

00:01:38So, I guess I wasn't really under the influence.

00:01:40Okay.

00:01:40But I wasn't expecting things.

00:01:42I mean, I think it was only half an hour into the film

00:01:45I wondered,

00:01:47how long have I been here?

00:01:50Have I transcended the bonds of space and time?

00:01:53That's the thing about that.

00:01:54This is what the room does to people.

00:01:55That's what bad movies do to you all around.

00:01:58It could only be like an hour and 20 minutes

00:01:59but it'll feel like twice that long.

00:02:01Oh, yeah.

00:02:01You know, because it's such an obvious...

00:02:03Oh, this is a journey.

00:02:04I was about to say,

00:02:05it's an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish.

00:02:07You know, it's about human nature.

00:02:10Yep.

00:02:11The day in the life of...

00:02:12Of Johnny, the nicest guy in the world.

00:02:15Have we all seen The Disaster Artist?

00:02:17Yes, we all came and went to watch it at the same time.

00:02:19Did you?

00:02:20Yeah.

00:02:20He was there.

00:02:21He just didn't do much.

00:02:22Oh, okay.

00:02:22No, I was...

00:02:25The end of our own.

00:02:27Ah, done.

00:02:28Yeah, I spent the first part of The Disaster Artist

00:02:30trying to get a drink at the back.

00:02:32And that was probably a good show from you.

00:02:35But, yeah.

00:02:35So, I don't think this movie needs any light lead-up.

00:02:38I think if you've heard of The Room,

00:02:40you have.

00:02:40If you have not,

00:02:41then strap yourself in

00:02:42and we apologise in advance.

00:02:44So, um...

00:02:44We're just ready to click now.

00:02:47So, good luck, everybody.

00:02:48See you on the other side.

00:02:49I think we'll need it.

00:02:50Here we go.

00:02:51Oh.

00:02:53Films.

00:02:53What a logo.

00:02:54Films.

00:02:54I love this.

00:02:55The story reminds me of the fucking CD-I.

00:02:58Yeah, it's really CD-I-ish, isn't it?

00:03:01Chloe.

00:03:02Who's Chloe?

00:03:03She produced it, clearly.

00:03:06It's a Waisel production.

00:03:08It's all films.

00:03:09It's all twice.

00:03:10It's got an invention.

00:03:10Yeah.

00:03:11Do-do-do-do.

00:03:12Reaching.

00:03:13Oh my god.

00:03:14Drink every time you see the word Waisel.

00:03:16I'm jealous.

00:03:16Drink every time there's a...

00:03:18There's a...

00:03:19Panic shot.

00:03:20No, it's bad movie night bingo.

00:03:21It's just like,

00:03:22have you seen stock footage?

00:03:23Yes.

00:03:23Is there a sex scene?

00:03:24Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:03:28Oh, dear.

00:03:30I love that that...

00:03:31That's how cheap this movie is.

00:03:32Waisel, drink.

00:03:33Starring.

00:03:33Ding.

00:03:34Mookie's even more drinking.

00:03:36Yeah, four fingers for us.

00:03:40That's okay.

00:03:40I plan to be, like,

00:03:42unconscious in the first ten minutes.

00:03:43And then this will work out a treat for you then, son.

00:03:45Just drink your medicine, son.

00:03:47It's good for you.

00:03:50It'll make this go by easier.

00:03:52It says something about how cheap the movie is,

00:03:55that the first few clips

00:03:57are all stock footage.

00:03:58Yeah.

00:03:59You're not even seeing anything at this point.

00:04:00You're just seeing,

00:04:01well, we know it's set somewhere.

00:04:03Well, no, it's pretty clearly San Fran.

00:04:06Oh, really?

00:04:07Really?

00:04:08Clearly?

00:04:09No, they're going to get bridge.

00:04:10Oh, there's Chloe.

00:04:11There she is.

00:04:12Yep.

00:04:14It sounds foreign.

00:04:17Whatever it is.

00:04:21Right, so far.

00:04:24And now we're in Greece.

00:04:26Yeah, this is the...

00:04:28This is New Venice.

00:04:29Yakult.

00:04:30This is actually the sequel

00:04:32where Tommy goes to Greece

00:04:34to save them from recession.

00:04:36Like, I wonder if, like,

00:04:38it is only just, like,

00:04:39Tommy was all,

00:04:40oh, it's Chloe again.

00:04:41Yeah, there you go.

00:04:43And Chloe.

00:04:43It's just Tommy doing everything,

00:04:45but he starts thinking of names to add in.

00:04:47So it's just like,

00:04:48oh, there's someone drinking a Yakult.

00:04:50Yakult, yes.

00:04:52I love real American antibiotics.

00:04:55So it's produced by Chloe and Tommy

00:04:57and Tommy and...

00:04:59Tommy.

00:04:59Derek?

00:05:00I'm sure, yeah.

00:05:01There's a Derek in this.

00:05:01Derek is a good name for somebody.

00:05:03Oh, God.

00:05:04We did that drink in today's movie.

00:05:06The movie's starting.

00:05:07Drink.

00:05:09Hi, babe.

00:05:10Okay.

00:05:10Applause.

00:05:13Yeah.

00:05:15What is it?

00:05:16It's just a little something.

00:05:18Oh.

00:05:18See, Johnny's been working as a ventriloquist.

00:05:24He's very happy about it.

00:05:26I swear, the first time I watched this,

00:05:28I expected them to be able to pull his face off.

00:05:30Yeah.

00:05:31Oh, my God.

00:05:31It's old man Jenkins.

00:05:33Yeah.

00:05:34He just kicked the door right halfway through

00:05:35and fucking Scooby-Doo walks in.

00:05:37Yeah.

00:05:38I've actually been convinced all these years

00:05:39that Wiseau is a fucking lich.

00:05:41and he's just like a few stages lower

00:05:43than Keith Richardson.

00:05:45Did you see there was a theory that...

00:05:48Oh.

00:05:49Oh.

00:05:51Wow.

00:05:52You look so sexy, Lisa.

00:05:53Fucking walking out of a special K ad.

00:05:58She is...

00:05:59Isn't it fabulous?

00:06:00I would do anything for my girl.

00:06:02That does not answer the question.

00:06:04Nor is it in sync.

00:06:06Oh, hi, Danny.

00:06:07Drink.

00:06:07And here is serial killer in training, Denny.

00:06:11Wow.

00:06:11Look at you.

00:06:13It's from Johnny.

00:06:15Anything for my princess.

00:06:17Ha, ha, ha.

00:06:18The desert.

00:06:22She could have color-coordinated her earrings

00:06:25with her new dress.

00:06:26She was expecting the blue dress.

00:06:28That's why she's secretly furious.

00:06:29Oh, this is the whole thing.

00:06:31She wants the blue dress.

00:06:32She wants the blue, yeah.

00:06:32Yeah.

00:06:33And this fucking colorblind dipshit

00:06:34gives her a red.

00:06:36Not you, James.

00:06:37Jesus.

00:06:37What age is he?

00:06:45I think he's supposed to be, like, 15.

00:06:47Oh, no, he is...

00:06:48But the actor is clearly, like, mid-20s.

00:06:49Yeah, the actor was, like, I think, like, 26 at the time.

00:06:52Yeah, yeah.

00:06:52But he's supposed to be, like, in college or something.

00:06:54Yeah.

00:06:55But you read the book about it as well, so...

00:06:57Yeah, it's been a while.

00:06:59I plan to actually re-read it for the film.

00:07:02Well, if something draws a...

00:07:04If something reminds you of him, by all means, tell us.

00:07:07I'm just imagining, like, Metal Gear's Heavens Defy playing.

00:07:19Love the turrets.

00:07:20Hideo Kojima Kane, produced by Tommy Wiseau.

00:07:28Make it happen.

00:07:29A Hideo Kojima Roo.

00:07:31Creepy.

00:07:32Oh.

00:07:32Denny, Denny, Denny Boy.

00:07:34Yeah, the fucked up thing I was here is that, like, there's one...

00:07:37Some interview with Wiseau, like, somebody asks him directly, like, basically why Denny

00:07:42is so stupid here.

00:07:44He doesn't get a hint.

00:07:46And all he says is, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:07:49Denny's not supposed to go up there.

00:07:52He's like, okay, thanks for not answering the question.

00:07:54But that's the thing, you see, he's not...

00:07:55But he's not meant to be, like, stupid.

00:07:58That was...

00:07:59Like, the character there is creepy.

00:08:00Yeah, but, like, you know, everyone's like, why the fuck is he just a pervy little shit?

00:08:04Yeah.

00:08:07And more specifically, why are these two okay with it?

00:08:13And so it begins, I think, the first sex scene of the movie?

00:08:16Yeah.

00:08:17I think this hits, like, a fucking all-time high for sex scenes.

00:08:23It is, like, it's like...

00:08:24He's grublishing there.

00:08:25He's not even smiling.

00:08:26It's like, oh, this is a painful movie.

00:08:28That's him trying to smile.

00:08:30Like, his face works the opposite for smiling.

00:08:35Oh, imagine kissing Tommy Wiseau.

00:08:37No.

00:08:38That's how he powers your soul.

00:08:41She is now also a lich.

00:08:44She will now walk down, walk the plane and say,

00:08:46Tommy Wiseau.

00:08:48She's a strong woman.

00:08:49Tommy Wiseau.

00:08:50Yeah.

00:08:51Like, they're supposed to be a few years into this relationship.

00:09:02Surely all of this shit is gone.

00:09:03I thought you were going to say a few years into the sex scene.

00:09:07Depending on Tommy Wiseau, that would finally be the case.

00:09:10There's teasing and there's, like, a bit much.

00:09:15There's cheese and then there's just filth.

00:09:23I do love the most generic love ballad that you'll find as well.

00:09:33I love how he couldn't get his arm out of his shirt there.

00:09:36Did he just cut?

00:09:39He just made a big shit stain on the curtain.

00:09:41Also, it's like she just woke up there herself.

00:09:43No, what I mean?

00:09:44Like, they weren't actually...

00:09:44Where was she whenever he got up?

00:09:46Oh, she stayed quiet.

00:09:48She was stealthy about that.

00:09:49She pretty clearly wasn't in the bed whenever he...

00:09:53Well, that was...

00:09:58See, Lisa clearly claims the doll.

00:10:01Yeah, actually.

00:10:02I don't...

00:10:02I would love to wake up at that sort of time and just be like,

00:10:06yeah, no, I'm going to fucking sleep for a few more.

00:10:08Sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:10:08The queen has entered.

00:10:10Okay.

00:10:11Okay.

00:10:13This is one proper actor in this as well, let's be fair.

00:10:16Where she legitimately tried to get, like, actual points out of the script.

00:10:21Hmm?

00:10:23Nothing much.

00:10:24Do you want some coffee?

00:10:25What's wrong?

00:10:26Tell me.

00:10:28I'm not feeling good today.

00:10:30Why not?

00:10:31I know you're upset when you walk for coffee.

00:10:32He went in the belly button again.

00:10:33I don't love him.

00:10:34Again?

00:10:35Why don't you love him anymore?

00:10:36Tell me.

00:10:37He went in for the belly button.

00:10:38Yeah.

00:10:39Boring.

00:10:40Well, you know what I mean.

00:10:41It's so funny.

00:10:42You can call that a lot of things.

00:10:43It's not boring.

00:10:44Well, that side of the conversation is that, yeah, that could fit into a movie.

00:10:47It's like, hey, why don't you love him?

00:10:48And then, Lise is just like, uh, how long have you got?

00:10:54He's a wonderful man, and he loves you very much.

00:10:59And his position is boring.

00:11:00He would do anything for his girl.

00:11:02And he told me he plans to buy you a house.

00:11:06That's why he's so boring.

00:11:08Well, what are you going to do?

00:11:09I want him to burn a house to the ground.

00:11:11I want him to be financially irresponsible.

00:11:15All she ever wanted was 50 cents for the hostel.

00:11:17She didn't need a house.

00:11:19She was expecting this long-term booking.

00:11:21She only wanted a room, not a house.

00:11:24Oh, my God.

00:11:26Oh, that makes sense.

00:11:29Holmes, we've cracked the case.

00:11:31Close, whatever you wanted.

00:11:33Now, you want to dump him.

00:11:35That's not right.

00:11:36I've always thought of him as my son-in-law.

00:11:41That's a fucking terrifying concept.

00:11:45Tommy was also somehow in a family.

00:11:47No, like, son-in-law, I'm taking that as just straight out son.

00:11:50And then it's like, you gave birth to that, even though you didn't.

00:11:54Do you understand what son-in-laws are?

00:11:56No, no, no.

00:11:56I'm saying that.

00:11:57He's cherry-picking here, James.

00:11:59You know all about that.

00:12:00I'm glad you're listening to your mother.

00:12:02Just to be associated in any way, like, with all our blood to that.

00:12:07I like to say, there is this beautiful, I'll say, just this beautiful human being that we so is.

00:12:16Okay, no.

00:12:17First, two countenances.

00:12:18Are we sure he's a human being?

00:12:19Are we sure he was born?

00:12:21He is a person, a human being.

00:12:23Spoon!

00:12:24Spoon!

00:12:25Drink!

00:12:26Hey, Vinny, how you doing?

00:12:27Oh, hey, how you doing?

00:12:29Yeah, cool, I'm in another scene.

00:12:30What's going on?

00:12:31I just finished talking to my mom.

00:12:32She made this big lecture about Johnny.

00:12:35Look, we'll talk about it later.

00:12:36I told you about it later.

00:12:36That's a beautiful beard.

00:12:37It is.

00:12:38That beard would get you on Malcolm another.

00:12:40Do you know what?

00:12:41I had the exact same thoughts.

00:12:42It'd be grand if he was able to bump into Brian Cranston along the way to make that connection.

00:12:46Well, of course, I've done that with the case now.

00:12:48City.

00:12:49City, James.

00:12:49You're a city for thinking of it.

00:12:51She wants to control my life.

00:12:53I'm not going to put up with that.

00:12:54She gave me advice, the bitch.

00:12:57She's like, so did you-

00:12:58I hate fucking parents, like, caring about your well-being.

00:13:01Right?

00:13:01I'm sick of it.

00:13:03Can I not just burn the house down myself?

00:13:07What's the problem?

00:13:09Maybe, you're right.

00:13:12Can I see you tomorrow?

00:13:14Okay.

00:13:15All right, how about noon?

00:13:16I'll be waiting for you.

00:13:17No one meets up at noon.

00:13:18All right, see ya.

00:13:19Well, people on the dole do.

00:13:21See ya.

00:13:22That's the earliest they get up.

00:13:23Ah, this is just-

00:13:24There's nothing to be seen as AM when you're on the dole.

00:13:29Ah, stock footage.

00:13:30Does Mark work?

00:13:32Yes.

00:13:33Is Tommy the only guy with the job?

00:13:34Tommy, yeah.

00:13:35Tommy's the only person in San Francisco that it works.

00:13:37Peter's a psychologist.

00:13:38No, he just plays psychologist.

00:13:39Oh, yeah, he just plays a college.

00:13:41Just, I don't know.

00:13:42Fine.

00:13:43Yeah.

00:13:48If he's so shocked by her coming onto him, that he batted no eyes when she called him,

00:13:55hey, baby.

00:13:56Yeah.

00:13:56Oh, do you think this is the first time they hooked up?

00:13:58Yeah.

00:13:59No?

00:13:59Well, he acts shocked every time she touches him.

00:14:03Maybe if-

00:14:03I'd say, like, she's-

00:14:05This is, like, time five or six.

00:14:06Yeah, I think this is part of the act, like.

00:14:07It's part of the, like, the innocent, oh, what are you doing, kind of deal.

00:14:10But then again, I don't think Tommy Wiseau realises that as part of this writing.

00:14:16It's very easy to read too much into this work of art.

00:14:21Oh, no.

00:14:22I spilled some wine into your cup.

00:14:23Now I must take off my top.

00:14:25Bound chicken web.

00:14:29It's your fucking house.

00:14:34Yes, I like putting on my evening wear at noon.

00:14:37I am a socialite.

00:14:43A do-

00:14:43Socialite?

00:14:46I think the term is do-shalite, actually.

00:14:49I mean, the candles.

00:14:50Points for effort.

00:14:51The music.

00:14:53The sexy dress.

00:14:54The music.

00:14:56Like, the one that's been post-edited in.

00:14:59I hadn't even noticed it.

00:15:04And I'm all for the soundtracks.

00:15:07I get the feeling that something odd is happening here.

00:15:10But I just can't put my finger on it.

00:15:11I don't understand what's happening.

00:15:14What are you doing this for?

00:15:15Why is she doing it?

00:15:17Why are you?

00:15:18Aren't you, like, you know...

00:15:19But that's...

00:15:20His best friend's girlfriend.

00:15:24And Johnny is my best friend.

00:15:26Actually, this has reminded me of a certain recorder.

00:15:30Johnny's my best friend.

00:15:32You're going to be married next week.

00:15:33Great.

00:15:34Great story, baby.

00:15:35He'd be running from this person.

00:15:37He'd still be wondering what the hell she's doing.

00:15:39Let's celebrate that, the better.

00:15:42Yes.

00:15:43Which one do you?

00:15:45Oh.

00:15:51Well, he's convinced.

00:15:53Yeah, he's, uh...

00:15:54Definitely spitting here.

00:15:55I don't think so.

00:15:57Why is there a rare point in a champagne glass?

00:15:59Because she's a philistine.

00:16:01Like, she's on the dole.

00:16:03We've been through this.

00:16:04I'll say she even eats her fish.

00:16:06It's probably just Vimto.

00:16:07Oh, definitely, yeah.

00:16:08Even grape juice, I'd say.

00:16:10Just Tommy doesn't drink on set.

00:16:11No, it's like Tesco three quid wine.

00:16:15It's not even wine, it's grapes, tears.

00:16:20She's so bad at throwing parties.

00:16:22I'd say she even eats fish for a normal four.

00:16:25The fucking mouth-breeding cretin.

00:16:26I promise.

00:16:27Sorry, I can't get it up unless I am up.

00:16:42So, you're not into W-buttons, are you?

00:16:46No?

00:16:47Okay.

00:16:47I mean, I don't have to admire her if that's okay.

00:16:50No, he's got a fetish for fucking in awkward positions, like on spiraled stairs.

00:16:56Yeah.

00:16:56I was going to say staircases, but that could be covered.

00:16:59It's called a twister fetish.

00:17:02It's else that in spoons.

00:17:04Never forget the spoons.

00:17:05Never forget the spoons.

00:17:06All right?

00:17:06Now we'll keep the evening wear on at noon.

00:17:08Once after I've seduced him.

00:17:11Well, they've wrote so much now, it's time for evening wear.

00:17:13Johnny's my best friend.

00:17:16And I've just come inside you.

00:17:17Drink!

00:17:20That's not the point.

00:17:24I love you more.

00:17:28Really?

00:17:29I never got that impression.

00:17:30You're very attractive, right?

00:17:32You're beautiful.

00:17:34We can't do this anymore.

00:17:35I can't hurt Johnny.

00:17:40Except for Paul.

00:17:41Too late.

00:17:42Oh, look.

00:17:42See, the banister's actually creased.

00:17:45Oh, yeah.

00:17:46He's a dent in it, yeah.

00:17:48So they have done this before.

00:17:49On the banister.

00:17:51That must have been a really powerful thrust.

00:17:56Mark is a hell of a man.

00:17:58Mach 5.

00:18:02All right, here we go.

00:18:04Yes!

00:18:04It's the best scene in the movie.

00:18:06All right, brace on, it's on.

00:18:07Here we go.

00:18:08Right, this is art.

00:18:09Stanley Kubrick has got fucking nothing on this.

00:18:11Shh, shh, shh.

00:18:18Hi.

00:18:18Can I help you?

00:18:19Yeah, can I have a dozen red roses, please?

00:18:22Oh, shit.

00:18:22Oh, hi, Johnny.

00:18:23I didn't know it was you.

00:18:25Here you go.

00:18:26That's me.

00:18:28How much is it?

00:18:28It'll be $18.

00:18:29Oh, go.

00:18:29Keep the chain.

00:18:30Hi, doggie.

00:18:31You're my favorite customer.

00:18:32Thanks a lot.

00:18:33Bye.

00:18:34That's fantastic.

00:18:42That, ladies and gentlemen, is art.

00:18:44Studied for years.

00:18:45Absolutely.

00:18:47Oh, what?

00:18:49I just want a masterpiece.

00:18:51I really thought you were going to say something else there.

00:18:53When you said master, my mind went to a completely different place.

00:18:58Stop being such a Lisa, Jonathan.

00:19:01In a flower shop while a dog watch.

00:19:04Actually, no, that's perfect, of course.

00:19:05Yeah.

00:19:06That's the next part after this air case.

00:19:08Oh, he's back.

00:19:09Actually, I'm really busy.

00:19:11Do you want something to drink?

00:19:12No, thanks.

00:19:13Would you mind if Denny stocks them?

00:19:15Be surprised he doesn't know much further about it.

00:19:16Actually, she offered a drink.

00:19:17She probably would have tried fucking Denny if he had the drink.

00:19:20Oh, wait.

00:19:20Wait until he's 18.

00:19:21Then fucking straight into there.

00:19:23Just kidding.

00:19:23Is he 18?

00:19:25Okay, okay.

00:19:26Ah, yes.

00:19:27I love calling sex offenders little brats.

00:19:29That stops them in their trucks.

00:19:33That's worth the last time.

00:19:37So, does he live there?

00:19:39Or does...

00:19:40No, he has a hole he lives in.

00:19:42Oh.

00:19:42Yeah.

00:19:43No light.

00:19:45Do you not remember the video game?

00:19:46Yeah, that was the extended canon out of the room.

00:19:53No.

00:19:53Hi, babe.

00:19:53Your friend is your...

00:19:56So much bigger than the ones he got in the shop.

00:19:59He's overcompensating.

00:20:00Did the dialogue come up now?

00:20:02Did you get your promotion?

00:20:04Nah.

00:20:05Nah.

00:20:08Mookie's reenacting it.

00:20:10He lives this every day.

00:20:13Every day.

00:20:16What do you think I do all day at work?

00:20:18But son of a bitch told me that we'll get in within three months.

00:20:22I sent them bundles.

00:20:23They're crazy.

00:20:24I don't think I will ever get it.

00:20:26They betrayed me.

00:20:27They didn't keep their promise.

00:20:29They tricked me and I don't care anymore.

00:20:31The full trifecta there, huh?

00:20:34Of course.

00:20:35What do you think?

00:20:36They already put my videos into practice.

00:20:38Like, that's...

00:20:38That's the only thing I can think of when I think of a passive-aggressive rage.

00:20:43You're the only one who does.

00:20:47You're the only one who...

00:20:48At least you have friends.

00:20:49I didn't get any calls today.

00:20:51You're right.

00:20:52Fucking three!

00:20:53And you wrote one of them.

00:20:55You wrote one of them from like 12 to 5 in the afternoon.

00:21:00And if it was legal, you'd write the other one.

00:21:04What's the matter?

00:21:06You all right?

00:21:07It's just a lousy promotion.

00:21:10You know what you need?

00:21:12It's just a lousy promotion.

00:21:13More stare sex.

00:21:14Fuck working for money.

00:21:16Get on the door, love.

00:21:28So you get...

00:21:30What's supposed to be whiskey, but clearly apple juice.

00:21:34There you go.

00:21:35I mean, like...

00:21:36And magic sounds, so it's obviously magic-wise.

00:21:39I didn't notice that.

00:21:41This is like, well, alcohol is magic now, apparently.

00:21:47Sorry, is that a Care Bear I see behind the window?

00:21:50That was just a spoon in disguise.

00:21:53No, it's just Denny in a costume.

00:21:56Heavily breathing.

00:22:00Like, I've always wondered, what the hell is that drink?

00:22:03Like, that looks less.

00:22:04It's supposed to be vodka.

00:22:06Scotch and vodka.

00:22:07Yeah.

00:22:07I thought that was just a Cinemassence joke.

00:22:10No, it's supposed to be.

00:22:11It's supposed to be a mixture of that.

00:22:14Because Lisa is setting an own trap here.

00:22:16Or Lisa is trying to.

00:22:18Trying to get herself it?

00:22:20Tommy Goldschlagger doesn't taste good.

00:22:22You're a good man.

00:22:24Drink and let's have some fun.

00:22:25But Johnny's such a nice guy.

00:22:32Oh yeah, fun.

00:22:33That thing that humans enjoy.

00:22:35As you can see,

00:22:37Lisa doing her snake impression there.

00:22:42Snake!

00:22:44Hasn't quite got her right.

00:22:46She needs the eyepatch.

00:22:46I'll just break the glasses.

00:22:51You're heavily implied to break the glass.

00:22:56Just wait for the third sequel.

00:22:59Hearts of the Caribbean.

00:23:01Dead tweezers tell no tales.

00:23:04Come on, you owe me one.

00:23:08No, I think you owe him one after you focus around the stairs.

00:23:11Sorry.

00:23:12It'd be awful if you found out about that.

00:23:15That was his good shirt.

00:23:20He can get his arm out of that one.

00:23:23I want to capture that.

00:23:25Keep it.

00:23:26She's kind of like a child.

00:23:26If the child can't sit upside down on the couch.

00:23:29He is always bugging me about my house.

00:23:32Fifteen years ago, we agreed that house belongs to me.

00:23:36Now the value of the house is going up and he's seeing dollar signs.

00:23:40Everything goes wrong at once.

00:23:43Nobody wants to help me.

00:23:44And I'm dying.

00:23:46You're not dying, Mom.

00:23:48I got the results of the test back.

00:23:51I definitely have breast cancer.

00:23:53No.

00:23:53Do.

00:23:54Do.

00:23:55Do.

00:23:56Do.

00:23:57Do.

00:23:58Do.

00:23:59Do.

00:24:00Do.

00:24:01Do.

00:24:02Do.

00:24:03Do.

00:24:04Do.

00:24:05Do.

00:24:06Do.

00:24:07Do.

00:24:08Do.

00:24:09Do.

00:24:10Do.

00:24:11Do.

00:24:12Do.

00:24:13Do.

00:24:14Do.

00:24:21Do.

00:24:22Do.

00:24:23Do.

00:24:28Do.

00:24:31Annette.

00:24:38The.

00:24:41Do.

00:24:42Do.

00:24:44It's just very convenient he hit me on the same night I told you I don't want to be with him anymore.

00:24:48You've got to appreciate with your filmmaking though.

00:24:51It's like show, don't tell.

00:24:54And then there's like bludgeoning you to death.

00:24:57It's not even show, don't tell.

00:24:59It's like we think we showed you, but we're not sure.

00:25:02No, no, no.

00:25:02I mean like there is show, don't tell.

00:25:05And it's like bludgeoning you with a giant sign that says tell.

00:25:10We tried to show you, but without any particular skill.

00:25:14And now here's the fucking comic relief.

00:25:17I'd be fairly convinced that they weren't actors.

00:25:22They were just two people who managed to find a way in there.

00:25:24And the cameras are just still rolling.

00:25:26Yeah, I mean they had to stop for lunch sometime.

00:25:30So this movie's shy, let's make our own movie.

00:25:34It'll be more riding.

00:25:36And instead of roses, chocolates.

00:25:37Chocolate is the symbol of love.

00:25:44That's not how you feed unless you're a bird.

00:25:53Maybe they aren't birds.

00:25:54Also, did he just take half the chocolate back?

00:25:56Yeah.

00:25:57Pretty much most of it.

00:25:58Greedy cunt.

00:25:59Absolute bastard.

00:26:01This is not what we call equality.

00:26:02That's not her mouth.

00:26:04Now she didn't get any of that.

00:26:06Yeah, man.

00:26:07You lied.

00:26:12This is the weirdest foreplay I think that's ever existed.

00:26:17I'm sorry.

00:26:18I just tore some skin out of you.

00:26:21That's why you eat the chocolate.

00:26:23It's okay.

00:26:24Chocolate is a symbol of love.

00:26:29Unfortunately, frosted tips weren't.

00:26:31So he's had three chocolates and she's had a half of one.

00:26:35Men, eh?

00:26:36We're all bastards.

00:26:41Like, what is happening?

00:26:44What is that face?

00:26:49It's the face of somebody who has seen the Dark Lord Cthulhu.

00:26:53He has succumbed to the Great Old Ones.

00:26:55What are these characters doing here?

00:27:02They like to come here to do their homework.

00:27:04What homework?

00:27:06Mom, this is Michelle's boyfriend, Mike.

00:27:09How old are they supposed to be?

00:27:10This is my mother.

00:27:12Also, like...

00:27:13A pleasure to meet you.

00:27:14She found a gas that there were to be leaving to our friends

00:27:17rather than me fucking in our apartment.

00:27:19By the way, you might not want to sit on the couch.

00:27:21There's chocolates all over the place.

00:27:25All that shopping, warm it out.

00:27:30Hey, Lisa.

00:27:30Hey, Denny.

00:27:32Denny, this is my mom.

00:27:33Mom?

00:27:34How has she not met Denny before?

00:27:35How many people come in and out of this apartment every day?

00:27:38This is worse than Grand Central Station.

00:27:41I just need to buy her some sugar.

00:27:42How many of us are for her?

00:27:43I also need a cup of flour and half of the butter.

00:27:46Go shopping for yourself.

00:27:47I need half a stick of butter.

00:27:50I tried to fuck a woman on the spiral staircase

00:27:52and I need to get her out of it now.

00:27:54Like she's stuck on the balancers again.

00:27:58That wasn't answering the question, but okay.

00:28:08Did you get a micro-shamed?

00:28:09So he's over 18, but Tommy wanted to adopt him.

00:28:15Yes.

00:28:16And Denny somehow lives nearby.

00:28:19Like he's somehow got a plot of his own.

00:28:22That's why he owes Chris R all the money.

00:28:25Unless, like, Johnny is like his patron.

00:28:28Spoilers!

00:28:28He doesn't hurt Johnny.

00:28:30Now, if you really don't love him, so be it.

00:28:32But you should tell him.

00:28:35No, I shouldn't.

00:28:37No, I don't know.

00:28:38I don't know what that joke is.

00:28:39What's this?

00:28:43Nothing.

00:28:43Like I said, chocolate.

00:28:46So funny.

00:28:47Like, that's probably covered in chocolate.

00:28:49I wouldn't be laughing if I found it in the couch.

00:28:51If I were a burglar, you would be my best friend.

00:28:54I would say, oh, crazy perverts.

00:28:57You know I worry about you.

00:29:00I have to go home.

00:29:02How do you not cock the girl in commando?

00:29:04Her arm.

00:29:06Her arm is changing places every shot.

00:29:09Oh, that's so distracting.

00:29:16Probably the most inconsistent part of this film.

00:29:20You do love continuity.

00:29:21Continuity is important for films, I think.

00:29:23Here we go.

00:29:24Lads.

00:29:27Who is it?

00:29:30Good God, it's Chris R.

00:29:32It's a sports guy.

00:29:33Brother, it's been too long.

00:29:37It's been too long, Dennis.

00:29:39I've been looking for you.

00:29:42Why do you bring us basketball to the roof?

00:29:46Yeah, how do you?

00:29:46Yeah, there's no hoop on the roof.

00:29:50I still don't understand why you play basketball on the roof.

00:29:53But it's a hoop down on the ground floor.

00:29:55So you're trying to aim it from there.

00:29:56Without, you know, fucking bonking someone on the head.

00:29:59Fucking 10 feet down.

00:30:00Give me five minutes a day.

00:30:01Just give me five.

00:30:03Five minutes?

00:30:05You want five fucking minutes, eh?

00:30:07You know what?

00:30:07Oh, shit.

00:30:11What the hell?

00:30:12That escalated quickly.

00:30:13I am okay with this.

00:30:14Why does he have his gym wear?

00:30:18If he's not going to the gym.

00:30:19He's hardly going to be dealing squats with that on his, uh, open his grill.

00:30:26Sounds very plastic.

00:30:28Oh!

00:30:28Oh, really?

00:30:33I'm not looking at him off there.

00:30:34Yeah.

00:30:35The safety was on.

00:30:36Where did they come from?

00:30:38They're just screeching with me.

00:30:40Let's take him to the police.

00:30:42Yeah, let's do it.

00:30:44Are you okay?

00:30:44They take him to the police.

00:30:46Walking down the line.

00:30:48Yeah, it's cool, man.

00:30:49That was not nothing.

00:30:50Tell me everything.

00:30:51You have no idea what kind of troubles are in here, do you?

00:30:54I owe him some money.

00:30:56Oh, what kind of money?

00:30:57I owe him some money.

00:30:58I hope they didn't take him to the morning of the brothers then.

00:31:00He's okay.

00:31:01Man, Euro, sterling, all kinds of money.

00:31:05Corona, martial money.

00:31:07yeah to be fair like whatever drug he bought how much did he actually buy of the drug

00:31:16enough to be in this film

00:31:20oh yeah the best line is in the movie

00:31:37how did you get me what do you awaken to reach

00:31:41we swing that's really awful you can see the sheen

00:31:49off their faces I want to be Chris art

00:32:04you almost got killed you expect me to forget that you're not my fucking mother

00:32:08Jesus no boy I am your mother

00:32:14and if you keep like I will make you

00:32:18oh they're back

00:32:20please take the other way in the corner

00:32:22come on stop it was a mistake

00:32:26a mistake then he takes drugs

00:32:27let's go home

00:32:29no no no the mistake was he took drugs

00:32:32it's not he made a mistake then took drugs

00:32:35you can buy drugs you don't necessarily have to use them

00:32:38you know better right

00:32:40sorry

00:32:42you know better

00:32:44I'm getting angry again

00:32:46I like to frame my crackle cane

00:32:48I like keeping the ceremony alone actually

00:32:52in 50 years it's worth a fortune

00:32:54yeah absolutely you're right

00:32:56you are home

00:32:58where did everyone else go

00:33:00off the roof

00:33:02no seriously is it just me or the candles they have

00:33:05massive

00:33:06it's a it's a large candle but it has three wicks in it

00:33:09so they all burn together

00:33:10yeah but it's actually quite a large candle

00:33:12yeah

00:33:13is johnny there?

00:33:14it's a metaphor

00:33:15first

00:33:17large Nokia

00:33:19why do you do things like that?

00:33:21she doesn't too so

00:33:22yeah that no it doesn't work there

00:33:24I do care

00:33:25but

00:33:27we agree

00:33:28it's over between us

00:33:30I understand it's our secret

00:33:32but I still have feelings for you

00:33:34you still care

00:33:36I do care

00:33:38I have to go now

00:33:39I'll see you later darling

00:33:40don't call me that

00:33:42okay

00:33:43bye cunt

00:33:45I did not hit her

00:33:47it's not true

00:33:48it's bullshit

00:33:49I did not hit her

00:33:50I did not

00:33:51oh hi Mark

00:33:53good to see you

00:33:54yay

00:33:56look a fucking sitcom this is

00:33:58what

00:33:59did you?

00:34:00no it's not true

00:34:01don't even ask

00:34:02I would happily give Tommy Wiseau 12 episodes of a sitcom

00:34:05and just let him write

00:34:06just let him write

00:34:07the disaster artist should have been

00:34:08a sitcom yeah

00:34:09a sitcom yeah

00:34:10there was some show he tried to make

00:34:13I can't remember the name of it

00:34:14but it was like an office one

00:34:15I remember following it on YouTube

00:34:17maybe we can get a recording of this all together

00:34:20doing it but like

00:34:21I remember like

00:34:22Rizzo's character's castrate

00:34:23was like

00:34:24oh what a day

00:34:25and like whenever he said that

00:34:27there was a transition

00:34:28yeah

00:34:29and like

00:34:31nothing could have happened in a scene

00:34:33but the minute he said what a day

00:34:35what a day

00:34:36oh

00:34:37what a story Mark

00:34:38what a story Mark

00:34:39what a story Mookie

00:34:40I'm so happy I have you as my best friend

00:34:41and I love you so much

00:34:42he has so many doubts

00:34:43yeah man

00:34:44yeah you are very lucky

00:34:45well maybe you should have a girl Mark

00:34:48yeah

00:34:49the HD is not kind of this movie

00:34:50yeah maybe you're right

00:34:51even though it was filmed in HD

00:34:52is anything kind of this movie

00:34:54well no you can

00:34:55when it's close up to anything on that

00:34:56you can see they're right at the back of the green screen

00:34:58so you can see the fucking

00:35:00there's no

00:35:01the contact is there like

00:35:02yeah we don't see each other anymore

00:35:03oh yeah

00:35:04see what I mean like

00:35:05yeah

00:35:06like the perspective is all wrong

00:35:07yeah

00:35:08so this is around here

00:35:11because he's in the foreground

00:35:12foreground and background

00:35:13but closer to him

00:35:14because they're at the back wall of the green screen

00:35:16yeah

00:35:17you see

00:35:18sometimes it's flat out stupid

00:35:20other times they're just evil

00:35:22it seems to me like you're the egg-spurt Mark

00:35:26the egg-spurt

00:35:27definitely not an expert Johnny

00:35:29egg and spoon

00:35:30expert

00:35:31drink

00:35:32i haven't refilled the drink

00:35:34then do it

00:35:35nothing man

00:35:36do you three have some secrets?

00:35:37forget it

00:35:38why? forget it dude

00:35:39is it some secret?

00:35:40no forget it i'll talk to you later

00:35:41well whatever

00:35:42i'll take your ball though

00:35:44oh Danny's back

00:35:46off his tits

00:35:47where did he walk to?

00:35:49away

00:35:50he walked to the left as he went into the room

00:35:52off the roof down a pole

00:35:54Batman

00:35:56Batman

00:35:57yeah

00:35:58what's new with you?

00:35:59i mean to be fair

00:36:00Danny probably could make a good Robin

00:36:03hmm

00:36:04what kind of movie are we going to see?

00:36:06well we'll see

00:36:07the disaster artist

00:36:08i love this

00:36:09Danny don't play too much

00:36:10it may not come out right

00:36:11that is not a sentence

00:36:13that is not a sentence

00:36:14that is not a sentence

00:36:15it's like the reaction to him honestly

00:36:16just ask him to see

00:36:17we'll watch a movie we'll see

00:36:18these things just don't work

00:36:20no it's one of the times he tries to put in something really vaguely philosophical like

00:36:25yeah

00:36:26and it just cuts out flat out terribly

00:36:28she's beautiful

00:36:29no seriously what movie are you going to see?

00:36:31i don't want to see star wars for the 50th time

00:36:34but look you can't have what you call everything you want

00:36:37star wars great hollywood movie

00:36:39i know she doesn't like me

00:36:40because sometimes she's mean to me

00:36:41but

00:36:42sometimes when i'm around her

00:36:43i feel like i want to kiss her

00:36:45and tell her that i love her

00:36:48but it's not a bad step on my earth to kill

00:36:50that's what we call your penis talking

00:36:52this is where you have a talk

00:36:54with him

00:36:55lisa loves you too

00:36:57as a person

00:36:58as a human being

00:36:59as a fan

00:37:00you know people don't have to say it

00:37:03i really gotta use that line one time in my life

00:37:06i love you as a human being

00:37:09you can love someone deep inside your heart

00:37:11i love you as someone who exists

00:37:13luki

00:37:14i acknowledge your presence

00:37:16the world would be a better place to live

00:37:18that's a really good way of shooting somebody down actually

00:37:20it's a really good way of shooting somebody down actually

00:37:21i'm glad

00:37:22i'm glad you're here

00:37:23a horrible family

00:37:24and we love you very much

00:37:25i acknowledge you

00:37:26we love you any time

00:37:27at least i love you

00:37:28i say that to my co-workers everyday

00:37:30as a friend

00:37:31you're sort of

00:37:33like her son

00:37:34you mean

00:37:35you're not upset with me

00:37:36no

00:37:37because i trust you

00:37:38and i trust lisa

00:37:39what about elizabeth

00:37:41see this is like oedipus in the making

00:37:43wow

00:37:44yes you're my son

00:37:46denny's middle name actually is oedipus

00:37:48that's funny though

00:37:49yes you're my son

00:37:50oh you look

00:37:51elizabeth

00:37:52i'm from college

00:37:53get a good job

00:37:54i want to marry your happiness

00:37:55is that elizabeth?

00:37:56woah

00:37:57you're right

00:37:59that was a quick change around

00:38:03yep

00:38:04from loving lisa

00:38:05to loving

00:38:06wanting to kiss her

00:38:07to

00:38:08oh i want to start a family with some girl in my class

00:38:11this scene is titled

00:38:13denny discovers his penis

00:38:15and away they go

00:38:20into the shack

00:38:21yeah

00:38:22the whole problem was probably

00:38:23he looked it up and looked it up

00:38:24and looked it up

00:38:25get off my fucking couch

00:38:28you dart

00:38:30she's trying to hide the chocolate cum stains

00:38:33yeah

00:38:34she's just there

00:38:35sneakily wiping it back down

00:38:37you just can't see it but there's like a fucking cloth

00:38:40just underneath there

00:38:41just

00:38:42are you okay?

00:38:44well i don't want to marry him anymore

00:38:46what?

00:38:47johnny's

00:38:49okay

00:38:50but i found somebody else

00:38:53is it my imagination or is her nose changed during this movie?

00:38:56is it right?

00:38:57she's probably got a nose job perfect

00:38:58it looks like it's

00:38:59i thought it was

00:39:00i thought it was

00:39:01our cocaine habit to do with it

00:39:02that's impossible

00:39:03that makes more sense

00:39:05who is he?

00:39:06his best friend

00:39:09and he lives in this building

00:39:12shh

00:39:14you're telling me this

00:39:15it's mark isn't it?

00:39:17yeah we heard you

00:39:20i mean

00:39:22that's exactly what i think of this

00:39:24she reached for the glass

00:39:25and then it wasn't in her hands

00:39:26but now it's in her hand

00:39:27i can't do that

00:39:29we'd be devastated

00:39:31how many rooms are in that apartment block?

00:39:35well clearly too many

00:39:37yeah from the outside it doesn't look like it would be that much

00:39:41it's clearly not the actual outside

00:39:44yeah they don't have an outside in the apartment

00:39:47they just have a green screen

00:39:48oh i know but

00:39:49they have a holiday

00:39:50it's just a waterfall of painting

00:39:51i know but apparently

00:39:52it's a really impressive urban graffiti

00:39:56something awful is gonna happen

00:39:59it's a tapestry

00:40:01it's a tapestry

00:40:03the wazzo tapestry

00:40:05the wazzo tapestry

00:40:06the wazzo tapestry

00:40:07the wazzo tapestry

00:40:08oh

00:40:09oh

00:40:10daylight burns my skin

00:40:13haha

00:40:14what a day

00:40:15don't worry

00:40:16you can trust me

00:40:17your secret is

00:40:19i don't care if the tree lights make

00:40:20such a plastic fruit

00:40:21i'm not gonna give up on this

00:40:23the tree lights on the candles

00:40:25still doesn't add up

00:40:26they're massive

00:40:27what secret?

00:40:28it's between us one and

00:40:30it's the same candle

00:40:31i don't know

00:40:32did you get it in the dress?

00:40:33no because mark had one too

00:40:35actually it's probably in the same room when he called her

00:40:38yeah that's the same

00:40:39he was just kinda there

00:40:41probably sleeping on the couch that night

00:40:43yeah

00:40:44he's actually in the couch

00:40:45he is the couch

00:40:46just heavily breathing

00:40:47reset

00:40:48remember what i told you

00:40:51what did she tell her?

00:40:53you're a slag

00:40:54why is this cushion sticky?

00:40:58spoons

00:40:59what is she talking about?

00:41:00spoons

00:41:01spoons

00:41:02spoons

00:41:03i just told you that

00:41:04spoons

00:41:06i'll never be true

00:41:11he says as he takes off his jacket and rolls up his sleeve

00:41:14oh rolls of his sleeves at least he managed to get the jacket off you sure about that it was

00:41:19at least two sizes big for him don't talk like that what do you mean what do you think women

00:41:26change their minds all the time you must be kidding aren't you look i want to talk about it

00:41:32i'm gonna go upstairs then wash up and go to bed how dare you talk to me like that you should tell

00:41:38me everything she just did why please talk to me please you're part of my life you are everything

00:41:49i could not go on without you you're lying i never hit you you're tearing me apart

00:42:07hey man then he's getting a heavy time on that couch isn't he

00:42:13she's had no problem saying it to everybody else

00:42:18you drive me crazy

00:42:26what don't worry about it don't worry i'm just a big idiot so uh sex in the in on the stairs

00:42:33tonight or no no dude oh how about we do it on the bridge like yeah have you ever have you done

00:42:39at the top of the bridge where the sign saying like there's no easter egg here go away

00:42:42oh hi this is my casual gear oh god this tragic story yeah me and michelle we were we were making

00:42:54out uh at your place and uh don't fucking get in there again walked in on us you will be next after

00:43:03i get out of there as fast as possible you know i get my pants i get my shirt and i get out and then

00:43:12about halfway down the stairs i realize that i i have misplaced i i've forgotten something

00:43:17uh my underwear so so i come back to get it you know and i pretend that i need a book you know

00:43:24i'm looking for my book and then i reach and put the underwear in my pocket and sort of slide out

00:43:28real quick well claude she saw it sticking out in my pocket she pulls it out and she's uh showing

00:43:34if you suffice the one and you wasn't kidding how they were i got the picture i don't know what to do

00:43:40that's a lie yeah hey johnny that's blackmail yeah yeah that's blackmail as well yeah

00:43:52real american game football in the alleyway but like but no one has ever said that line before

00:43:59sorry guys i can't play football i'm making out i have a make out appointment at five

00:44:05it's clearly paper that whole background yeah

00:44:12how do they only see him arriving they're only in a corner because the script said something

00:44:17it was super effective give me your underwear cunt give me 50p for the hostel while you're at it

00:44:39listen if you need anything call me anytime no it's fine i'm sorry i have not fallen off the couch

00:44:44it's fine right i believe it when i see it can tell me three mark put her off as well i could try

00:44:51yeah mark's push was so so strong i went off the couch

00:44:56i'm dying

00:45:01do you remember my friend shirley hamilton do you remember my breast cancer because my film doesn't

00:45:06johnny if you care for what's down payment food all he can tell me is it's an awkward situation

00:45:13i expected your husband to be a little more generous oh wait did i mention the breast cancer

00:45:18at all i know but johnny is part of our family mom i don't love johnny anymore i don't even like him

00:45:26i had sex with someone else you can't be serious you don't understand oh dude literally just heard go

00:45:36down and say you did what you don't want to talk about it then why did you bring it up in the first

00:45:42place i don't know because the script calls for you because the plot demands

00:45:46you're saying i'm tired wait till you see me tomorrow when she starts the demo after yeah

00:45:55fucking cunt it's my joke no she's half 12 and they can sell the alcohol now so yeah

00:46:05fucking sniper

00:46:11including this conversation i'm having myself now you just heard her admit it

00:46:17real american hero american vlogs haha oh he had it in his pocket the whole time

00:46:23i was ready and waiting like take your comment and you put it in your pocket

00:46:28literally

00:46:32oh now it all makes sense

00:46:38i love that he's wiretopping his own phone

00:46:42that's a paranoid man right there isn't it

00:46:44he's got the kit ready to go for just such an occasion which begs the question if he wasn't

00:46:49suspicious prior then what was he doing with the tape recorder

00:46:52or other like the tapes in his pocket and everything like it's ready to go

00:46:56don't you have cassette tapes in your pocket just in case well yeah for

00:47:00it's like a party might need it yeah man yeah you need your mixtape all the time like i know it's not

00:47:06the 90s since like you know a while but better to have than that mate exactly you don't want to be in

00:47:11the situation where you don't have your cassette tape yeah and you're fucking stuck then listening to

00:47:17it's like a shite why is he creeping up the stairs i don't understand why is he creeping up the stairs i don't understand

00:47:22he's gonna surprise himself peekaboo ah

00:47:25ah

00:47:26ah

00:47:26oh i i don't understand women

00:47:29do you peter

00:47:30he's my bottom up was peter upstairs the whole time

00:47:33what's the problem he's just he's just called in

00:47:35you never say what you mean and they always play games

00:47:39okay um what do you mean

00:47:43i have a serious problem with lisa

00:47:46um i don't think she's faithful to me in fact i know she isn't

00:47:50lisa are you sure

00:47:53i'm not sure i've ever

00:47:55i'm loving his aim at the belera glasses

00:47:56lisa and her mother

00:47:59right yeah

00:48:02is the lisa we're talking about yeah

00:48:04or you know goebbels

00:48:08i see we've gone two very different paths with that one

00:48:14and he's creeping up in the background

00:48:17classic goebbels

00:48:20i don't want to get between you and lisa

00:48:24but i mean if you pay me

00:48:26i could

00:48:27if you want to you should confront her

00:48:29i can confront her

00:48:32i want to give a second chance after all she's my future wife

00:48:36you know what they say love is blind

00:48:40that's it by that

00:48:41is that a spoon with fire of wire in the background

00:48:47it could be a whisk

00:48:51i mean there's still a big difference

00:48:53no there's no doors in this flat

00:49:04oh hi mark come in

00:49:05oh hey johnny

00:49:07hey peter

00:49:08we're just talking about women

00:49:13oh dramatic music

00:49:15was mark just checking johnny out there

00:49:18no he he knows

00:49:19everyone is

00:49:20women just confuse me

00:49:22so does my double double denim outfit

00:49:24i have a girl

00:49:26she's married

00:49:27i mean she's very attractive

00:49:28just it's driving me crazy

00:49:30why didn't you mention us before

00:49:32is there anyone i know

00:49:33yeah you don't know her

00:49:35can i meet her

00:49:37i don't think so

00:49:39it's an awkward situation

00:49:40you mean she's too old

00:49:43or you think i would take her away from you

00:49:45what about that says she's too old

00:49:50i have my own problems

00:49:53that i was talking about but

00:49:55peter you always play psychologist with us

00:49:58look i'm just your friend and i'm just worried about you

00:50:02lisa's teasing me about whether we are going to get married or not

00:50:06and we didn't make love in a while

00:50:08and i don't know what to do

00:50:09i think it's been at least 12 hours

00:50:12we haven't made love in a while technically

00:50:15but you should tell her about your feelings okay

00:50:17you shouldn't hide them

00:50:19you should have been together forever

00:50:21you can work on anything so long you talk about it

00:50:23not always

00:50:25people are people

00:50:26sometimes they just can't see their own faults

00:50:29yeah i'm thinking of moving to a bigger place man

00:50:31i'm making some good money

00:50:33look you should tell her the truth

00:50:35i mean you're doing this for your girl right

00:50:36you're right peter is she getting the divorce mark

00:50:40you guys are too much

00:50:42hey are you running um beta breakers this year i am sure

00:50:47no i'm not doing it this year

00:50:49chicken peter you're just a little chicken

00:50:51that's a lot of saying i can't believe i'm in this film

00:50:59i i have to leave

00:51:00what's a beta breaker

00:51:03i don't know

00:51:04research

00:51:06i can't take it it's like a triathlon or something like that

00:51:08baby yeah something like that

00:51:10for pricks

00:51:12i never ate so much

00:51:13yeah the barbecue chicken was delicious

00:51:16oh yeah i don't want to have to mention this recording

00:51:19weird you guys

00:51:21bay two breakers it's an actual flick

00:51:23i didn't write down the script so uh

00:51:36oh

00:51:37two suitcases

00:51:38i didn't know anyone and i have

00:51:40so i hate why i'm seated with the camera

00:51:44and the camera is just like someone bumped into it

00:51:46oh yeah sorry

00:51:47but because it wasn't an out of state

00:51:49it's fine it's fine it's fine

00:51:50anyway

00:51:50it's fine

00:51:51move it again

00:51:52i certainly put it back to its original position

00:51:55no one will notice

00:51:56i believe it was the time the cameraman was on the scotch

00:51:58she was so beautiful and i say hi to her

00:52:02that's how

00:52:03hi

00:52:04so what's the interesting part

00:52:06what's the interesting part is that on our first date

00:52:09she paid for dinner

00:52:11what no tips from your job

00:52:12whatever do you guys want to eat something

00:52:18yeah

00:52:19meh

00:52:19fucking stuff

00:52:23oh

00:52:26what's going on

00:52:27i was thinking of the samurai cops thing there

00:52:31oh lisa and denny

00:52:35where's johnny

00:52:37in the kitchen

00:52:38denny's under the look action snipers

00:52:41james

00:52:44put the gun down james no no i think we should let james hand up this

00:52:48actually no you got a point oh he just mentioned he's going to work so

00:52:52he's not on the door

00:52:54yeah we do know he apparently has a job

00:52:56but he got off the doll eventually and now he has money

00:53:00this is this is working over a period of three years of course

00:53:04wasn't his uh johnny's birthday at the end of the week

00:53:06something along those lines

00:53:08friday at six

00:53:09yeah but that was 12 years ago though

00:53:11how do you know that

00:53:12or it was friday at six

00:53:14friday at six

00:53:14i was going to say it was oddly specific

00:53:19but also the sixth of what month

00:53:22so it wasn't very specific

00:53:23well the sixth of smarch clearly

00:53:25stupid smart sweater

00:53:27i am happy

00:53:29look denny i need to talk to johnny okay i'll see you later

00:53:32if you want to get a shirt that fits you

00:53:39let's use

00:53:43we got some change that's his job

00:53:48you got a spare small

00:53:49green screen yeah absolutely yeah

00:53:57the pint of weed really lets me

00:54:03you want some it's good bro

00:54:04didn't answer the question

00:54:05no i don't smoke that stuff

00:54:14you look depressed

00:54:16well off his tits stones yeah absolutely

00:54:18in my stomach man

00:54:21i did something awful

00:54:24i don't think i can forgive myself

00:54:28tell me about it

00:54:32just looking at his

00:54:33weed cigarette

00:54:37you empathize with uh

00:54:38with grixis thero just generally speaking

00:54:40yeah

00:54:41yeah

00:54:41something crazy like that

00:54:42why are you smoking that crap

00:54:44it's no wonder you can think straight

00:54:46it's gonna screw with your head

00:54:50i'll show you screwing with my head

00:54:53sponge no one calls me a sponge

00:54:58something a sponge will do

00:55:03you know i hate my leg bean

00:55:08i i do love this is like

00:55:11tommy rizzo's knowledge of drugs apparently cannabis makes you more aggressive

00:55:16yeah oh yeah obviously

00:55:31you had a like we all smoked once right i mean we all just lost the rag

00:55:35oh yeah like i killed a person

00:55:39yes i mean what

00:55:40yes

00:55:45why do you want to know my secret

00:55:49you're right

00:55:49just wrecking the gap i'm so angry

00:55:52are you okay

00:55:53yes she's on reefer madness

00:55:55i think it'll bring them closer together

00:56:09sorry i forgot it was really guilty

00:56:11you can take the green screen closer to them that'd be nice

00:56:14so you don't see lisa again and you definitely don't sleep out there again

00:56:18i actually haven't been paying close enough attention

00:56:20but has the green screen city background changed

00:56:24it hasn't moved it's a static background right

00:56:27which means that they're moving on the city

00:56:29like the build the buildings don't move

00:56:30yeah so the thing is like with the camera like you see

00:56:32do the buildings normally move

00:56:34no what happens is

00:56:35thank you

00:56:36no what you simply what you do is you have the camera moving with them when they're

00:56:39moving so it makes it look it gives off the vibe then that they're it's a

00:56:44yeah

00:56:44spoon

00:56:45oh hi there

00:56:45spoon

00:56:46talks

00:56:47nice talks you look great you look really handsome

00:56:51your wedding picture is going to look great

00:56:53oh thank you

00:56:56like the spoon out of the way so

00:56:58hey peter

00:56:58what's that going on out of the way so the doorbell can ring clearly

00:57:03you can see the stage direction Denny moves out of the way

00:57:05doorbell rings

00:57:06i'm just going to automatically sit with my back to everyone

00:57:09oh wow

00:57:12see peter peter works the camera you see

00:57:15you like it yeah

00:57:16yeah

00:57:17you look great

00:57:18treasures are way too big on

00:57:20do you guys want to play some football

00:57:21oh yeah

00:57:22yeah

00:57:23in texas

00:57:24no you gotta be kidding

00:57:25especially for mark like that

00:57:26yeah

00:57:27i love the i love the i love the peter

00:57:29peter's like mike is that work it's just like

00:57:31yeah no not for me thanks

00:57:32sorry about that

00:57:44now ladies and gentlemen introducing the four twats

00:57:48that's one big alleyway

00:57:52it's very well at least it's a real alleyway

00:57:59shouldn't have worn trousers too big for yourself

00:58:01yeah tripped over his head

00:58:03he's just lying there going well i knew this is a bad idea

00:58:07well i i immediately regret this decision

00:58:09why am i i don't know maybe it was his idea to like i'll break my leg on set

00:58:15and then he could replace me with a better actor

00:58:18now they're taking him to the hospital

00:58:20in in one of the town cars clearly

00:58:23and so peter was left left set never to return again

00:58:27but he needed my train

00:58:28down to hades

00:58:31he needed life-changing surgery in greece

00:58:35oh step-by-step latte making

00:58:38he lives a peaceful life now in bernazares under the name ormando ornesto

00:58:42is that quentin tarantino

00:58:46clearly not

00:58:47if only

00:58:51why is it there are two servers

00:58:54someone should be clearly making the coffee

00:58:55why isn't there a line of like 20 people

00:58:58this is basically like the the briseaux version of uh of mary and john from father ted

00:59:02they're all nice and pleasant around tommy but they're

00:59:04fucking cutting each other to shreds when he's not around

00:59:08hi tommy how are you doing my favorite customer

00:59:10you big bollocks i fucking hate you

00:59:17i'm so tired of girls games

00:59:19what happened now mark

00:59:21relationships never work

00:59:23i don't know why i waste my time

00:59:24what makes me say that

00:59:27it's not that easy johnny

00:59:30well you should be happy mark

00:59:31yeah i know life is too short

00:59:35no thank you

00:59:36you're welcome

00:59:38i've got something like cheesecake

00:59:40no

00:59:41yeah that's real good

00:59:42yeah

00:59:44fuck off

00:59:44i don't get my head in chat

00:59:46i go on

00:59:51is that lisa in a black wig in the background

00:59:54no it's that

00:59:55no

00:59:56i don't think the room is cheap but not that cheap

01:00:00could be that cheap

01:00:01like i bet you that fire alarm doesn't even work

01:00:04take your time

01:00:07like i bet you this is just normal cafe

01:00:09oh yeah

01:00:10what's it with faith

01:00:12what's it with faith

01:00:13oh my god if i go to san francisco

01:00:15i am definitely going to that cafe

01:00:18this is the cafe that wizzo ruined

01:00:20you actually see it in the air

01:00:21so a guy in the background clearly just watching the camera

01:00:24yeah

01:00:24i hope the pug is still in that flower shop

01:00:27yeah the pug is the dog is just there

01:00:30is mummified it's just it's just

01:00:32stuff no like it's got like an like an ancient beard

01:00:35what's going on here oh we're about to have sex

01:00:38again

01:00:38johnny's my best friend

01:00:39but he's best friend

01:00:40he's my best friend

01:00:43still we've been through this just one more talk

01:00:46oh

01:00:48see he can get his shirt off and then go

01:00:50come he can't yeah well no she helped she helped him

01:00:52therefore he's the better man

01:00:54i mean to be fair at least they pay for like different songs for the sex scenes

01:00:58well all for them

01:00:59yeah

01:01:01at least time he realized that it's like well we can't we can't just have like dead

01:01:04silence during sex we need something

01:01:06yeah at the same time we didn't think to

01:01:20it doesn't count as parallel parking if you're like four feet away from

01:01:25is mark actually living rough because we just found him twice and just like sitting in the foot on the

01:01:29no no no no he lives in the same building well he says that but that's the same does he is he living or squatting there

01:01:37that's actually a freaking point

01:01:40because like whenever he whenever he rang lisa earlier you could see the same

01:01:45candles yeah uh that he could have just been laying on the porch

01:01:49saying he could be he's on a row of different people different couches he's on like michelle's one

01:01:56and then he's on leases and then what what what is happening they're gay they're playing like two

01:02:03lovely homosexuals in the park real american homosexual what a gay mark

01:02:14come on in yeah it's me mark the guy who's the engaged woman

01:02:19there's only one mark in this universe all the rest were eliminated wow so uh are you going to be

01:02:28ready how do you mean that is that a reference how do you mean that how do you mean that sorry

01:02:37that is not a sentence all i have to do is put on my party dress

01:02:40woman control yourself that is now you need her putting on your party dress so i object to this

01:02:53but i love i love that but but not some of the best i love that mookie's the one to hold up the

01:03:00semantics here at least someone's holding this movie accountable man good man yourself

01:03:05but about the times people walk in and out of that apartment that's very risky to yeah right

01:03:14yeah you think they'd like mark's cardboard box if so many people are coming through no

01:03:23hi that brought this up i knew i could count on you hi mark xyz i think i find it's oh hi mark

01:03:32what are you talking about examine your zipper you guys are too much

01:03:40as in here oh you guys are just kooky you guys are so cute together committing adultery

01:03:52like yes it was what yesterday that she was giving off yeah oh wait holy

01:03:57shit you're cheating on on domi i know it's hilarious well no it is yesterday it wasn't

01:04:04i wonder how many times characters sit down and then stand up and then sit down and then stand up

01:04:10do you not like someone like they sat down to giggle and then stood up to move a table with some

01:04:19plastic fruit on it yeah ruthie just didn't dare it's grant he's all the time doing the whole

01:04:23way through the phone i know i just fall off things and get back like a normal person is

01:04:28the difference with you right birthwire is you have polio i keep telling you this you just won't

01:04:34listen to me i have a pack of polos no that doesn't make it polio actually i'm going to stop

01:04:39standing up and sitting down i feel like a skyrim npc i thought there was a national anthem coming on

01:04:45there for a second what the fuck you're being so manipulative so what you can learn something from

01:04:52me you have to take as much as you can you have to live live live don't worry about me

01:05:00to live by

01:05:03elisa would be one of those annoying fucking cunts on facebook to have all the inspirational quotes

01:05:08yeah like a fake profile picture of a boyfriend they never had one of the just girly things yeah

01:05:14exactly i don't see what the big deal is what is this when you look so sexy it's a just girly thing

01:05:20yeah what's it what's the first thing she's doing like don't i look like a fucking mop head i love how

01:05:27she takes something out and then says something i think the lines are written on the back of each of the

01:05:32yeah that's it yeah that's it i'm in it i know what i'm doing you don't have to question me line

01:05:41are you trying to ruin my party no it's not your party it's johnny's party it's just one pillow

01:05:47calm the down i also threaten people with the uh the sharp end of the mop yeah oh i mean

01:05:56the mobs in my apartment aren't sharp yeah wait wouldn't be a hell of a practice

01:06:01so he he was out training with tommy yeah then went and had a bit of a fondle on the couch with

01:06:07lisa yeah and i was back out running in the forest yeah he just left tommy in the forest for like

01:06:11two hours he just had a nap no like you know he needs to be walked every day or resolve gets antsy

01:06:20he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't go out to do his

01:06:29weewees that's how it works

01:06:34it would be a hell of a twist in this movie after like teeing up the whole like lisa cheating on uh

01:06:39on tommy with fucking with mark would be a hell of a twist if like tommy and mark got together just

01:06:45start writing that would be that would be the end of the movie just then like five minutes with the

01:06:48music wait that's not how this goes well i know it's shaping up that way i know but it'd be nice if

01:06:54it did you know but sure look at can't always have what we want hashtag fanfic i choose to believe

01:07:04that already exists hashtag workout yourself it's it's called wizark oh shut up that was brilliant

01:07:11wisterio wistero wistero but no wisterio is like is was on ray mysterio what door did he come in

01:07:22the door no he came from the kitchen like hi lisa then walked out the door hi there just snuck into

01:07:29the kitchen window three floors up because i'm in love with mark oh really here i am i'm tired of your

01:07:37shit bitch do you realize they've had the exact same conversation three days in a row you should

01:07:42marry johnny now you can't live on love you need financial security and spoons still thinks i'm

01:07:51going to marry him next month but mark's has a good job that he's able to get a place he's getting

01:07:56enough coppers on the street so it's wait was it johnny's birthday that was next friday yeah yeah okay

01:08:02in the marathon i didn't even want to marry your father but he got the shotgun and share the rest

01:08:08was history oh men are assholes men and women use and abuse each other all the time there's nothing

01:08:14wrong with it i wonder if this is a personal story at all jenny's okay i suppose yes just go to the

01:08:21medieval age i'll tell you a lot about that i haven't wrapped around my marriage having nothing to do

01:08:25not true i don't love him oh okay yeah okay i miss dolores don't throw your life away just because

01:08:35you don't love him that's ridiculous just because you don't love him doesn't mean you shouldn't marry

01:08:40him absolutely marriage is a loveless relationship after all i'll see you at the party i just need to be

01:08:46alone right now anyway breast breast cancer crazy right oh don't talk about that it's a plot twist

01:09:06do you require any space at all no i'm fine right she is a liquid not a solid

01:09:20a disney store but they can't show the whole thing so it's just an is yeah it's isney

01:09:25isn't it is it is similar but legally distinct

01:09:36surprise

01:09:39hello mike definitely did not say surprise he just went

01:09:53oh thank you thank you i must say uh peter's looking well after the facelift

01:09:58and the hair transplant and the hair transplant yeah yeah there he is look at him look

01:10:03this is much better

01:10:06and the laser eye surgery yeah

01:10:10although the problem is it's made him very very sensitive

01:10:15no he's very very sensitive sensitive

01:10:20and then like this like i don't know what the problem is

01:10:29are we gonna find out that there was music by tommy muzzle as well this is technically the first

01:10:33night the first like stock footage we've had it's evening now and now we now we unleash the

01:10:39planning shots and it's new york yeah or la and everything else isn't it i i don't know oh right

01:10:47it i want pretzels do you want to be at this party oh yeah look how all the fun they're having

01:10:56anyway i definitely have breast cancer but it's like no one will talk about it

01:11:00they just want to be alone i choose to believe she keeps going around the room just going

01:11:06will someone please care about my breast cancer i'm dying

01:11:12i'm just laughing yeah

01:11:13she's dying it's great

01:11:16there is something about her nose though it does look like it's changed it looks like there's

01:11:26something growing in it it's like she's growing a second nose in her nose

01:11:31she's yeah she's shedding her nose

01:11:34oh just one birthday card

01:11:42you know i'm supposed to all sign the same one it's going right up my ass

01:11:47and again she he gets a full piece of chocolate she gets a prick

01:11:54and look at this suspicious white stain in his mouth did you know that gato is the symbol of diabetes

01:12:01it's a symbol of bastards

01:12:09we must obey lisa

01:12:10fuck that balloon

01:12:12fucking prick

01:12:15wait i have something i want to show you

01:12:20i'm pretty sure he's seen it already love twice he's finally got it towards the end of the movie

01:12:25so uh she is really stupid like they're all out in the fucking landing

01:12:37she's got like object perm no object permanence right the people are not there they don't exist

01:12:42yeah so what if kratzels the symbol of uh the intertwining of love and how salty you'd all get in the end

01:12:51oh hi peter version two i own this house why are you doing this peter's the landlord

01:13:07but why are you doing this

01:13:10i love him

01:13:12i don't believe it

01:13:13you don't understand anything man leave your stupid comments in your pocket

01:13:18fucking tell him mark bet he doesn't even have pockets

01:13:22you're going to destroy john

01:13:26he's very sensitive

01:13:29i don't care you know he can't be allowed out in the front

01:13:31i'm in love with martin

01:13:32don't fear him back to midnight later

01:13:34he's like in like a fucking 40s like cop show where he's definitely killed the person

01:14:04he's like in the first episode episode of columbo looking really suspicious

01:14:18sit the fuck down wookie you're here for the rest of the movie smoke after

01:14:25i mean we've only been here 45 minutes exactly

01:14:29hey everybody i have an announcement to make

01:14:33we're expecting

01:14:36what we're expecting a divorce apache will be here in half an hour or less

01:14:41no i don't remember this at all

01:14:44no that is like the the shittest way of announcing pregnancy

01:14:51walk three steps away

01:14:52well maybe would that be heard now

01:14:54as everyone is she doing everything else to pregnancy pretending it's a pizza

01:14:57look i'm gonna tell him okay i just i don't want to ruin his birthday

01:15:03when is the baby due

01:15:06there is no baby

01:15:08what what are you talking about

01:15:13i'm a compulsive liar

01:15:14why do you lie about that

01:15:19she has lots of good ideas

01:15:23that's my favorite part of any relationship the fake pregnancy

01:15:26and the eventual baby

01:15:28because this is just getting worse

01:15:29and then when it gets into the games

01:15:31jones asked mind games of

01:15:33is she really pregnant or is she just making things interesting for me

01:15:37and is she frequently a dragon

01:15:40all these questions and more in room of thrones

01:15:43that we're not worried about you we're worried about johnny

01:15:46what a story martin

01:15:48what a story to do

01:15:49you're hurting yourself you're hurting our friendship

01:15:53i am not responsible for johnny i'm through with that i'm changing

01:15:58i have the right don't i

01:16:00people are changing all the time

01:16:02i have to think about my future

01:16:06what's it to you

01:16:08this is going to pull us all down

01:16:11who are you

01:16:12he's peter version two

01:16:15this is not explained

01:16:16no

01:16:18i don't think mark really loves you

01:16:22i don't want to talk about it

01:16:24lisa you're going to have to face it

01:16:26and i'm the one i'm going to have a hard time forgiving you if you don't

01:16:31you know i've been perfectly fine with it up until now

01:16:34because we're girls and this is okay

01:16:35and we did go yeah

01:16:41i don't understand you lisa hang on is she token woman

01:16:47she could be i mean she fits the bill

01:16:50she's a woman that's a start

01:16:52she's token job done

01:16:54but who are they yeah they're called extra stakes

01:16:57oh tommy and yeah sometimes just

01:17:00well that relationship is not going to last long is it

01:17:02no of course not

01:17:04you know the whole breast cancer thing

01:17:05stop asking me stupid questions

01:17:07who the hell do you think you are

01:17:08just shut up

01:17:09whoa

01:17:10what are you doing what's going on here

01:17:12yeah get him

01:17:13maybe i know more than you think i do mark

01:17:16shit all right

01:17:17what do you want from me huh

01:17:20is it the lightest little flick

01:17:23stop it

01:17:24yeah

01:17:25no no no

01:17:26stop throwing her off the couch

01:17:27oh yeah i'll throw you off the couch

01:17:28no

01:17:29no

01:17:29just throw me

01:17:31no i might fall into the fire

01:17:33oh keith

01:17:42berkba's been falling for the last two minutes

01:17:46she's starting she's trapped in the well now

01:17:47isn't that right berkba

01:17:50we'll get her out folks don't worry

01:18:00so through all the rumors of them and in the fair

01:18:03let's start dancing

01:18:04in the middle of the party

01:18:05absolutely

01:18:06the party's lasted several weeks

01:18:07no they've had their fight now

01:18:08that's it that's it

01:18:09the slate's clear now

01:18:10that's it

01:18:10dancing groin to groin

01:18:12yeah

01:18:13groin to groin

01:18:15or is that just a ten of a man i've never heard of before

01:18:18groin the groin

01:18:19my future wife

01:18:20what are you doing he said

01:18:21you're alone and she doesn't want to talk to you

01:18:23you are my future wife will be mine

01:18:25come on

01:18:25he's

01:18:25changed your mind about you

01:18:26oh fight round two

01:18:28round three

01:18:30got something for this

01:18:33not

01:18:39now

01:18:40don't touch me

01:18:41mother

01:18:43mother

01:18:44stop it

01:18:45stop it

01:18:47you two are acting like children no you are no they're acting is children

01:18:54i love how the girl in the background has forgotten what she does with hands

01:19:00what's my line sorry i don't what did my hands do again

01:19:06you're not good you're just a chicken chip chip chip chip chip chip he's so much of a punch

01:19:17did mark even say a single line in the scene wordled wordled he sounds like grue from this

01:19:27week well grue is actually based on timing so yeah so that checks out sam's hair that's

01:19:32an insult to steve carell well i'm dead now and i'm dying oh yeah i've got six hours

01:19:45to live and shadow all over your kitchen yeah well this party is very much like me dead

01:19:50fucking hell what we're all thinking it i just think i should be alone with him right now i

01:19:59understand so i'm being alone by myself i think i might fully address the issue that i'm cheating

01:20:05on him

01:20:06by the way you're getting biopsy tomorrow just saying you're gonna top down you know still

01:20:17pressing issue just throwing it out there

01:20:20see those candles are normal sized but the ones out there are far away

01:20:29what are you calling a bitch oh nothing better than well i spell that that reference the

01:20:41owl the owl's one

01:20:42why is there a doll right in the foreground is this like a a doll between two candles and

01:20:50one of them she's an artist how many phones do they have in that small apartment enough to be

01:20:54wiretapped

01:20:56what's going on?

01:20:58don't worry about Johnny he's just being a big baby

01:21:02and he can hear this of course

01:21:08not that well

01:21:10every time we see this scene I kind of think he's gonna just

01:21:12like meld with the door

01:21:14it looks like he's doing

01:21:16something to the door

01:21:18he's probably found a belly button

01:21:20shaped bullet

01:21:22you got a drill bit

01:21:24come on up

01:21:26i want your body

01:21:28you got it

01:21:30come up to the roof

01:21:32no knickers

01:21:34go like the clampers

01:21:36you got it

01:21:38no underwriters

01:21:40nobody

01:21:42we'll see above that

01:21:44sure doors

01:21:46doors are crazy

01:21:48immediately starts packing

01:21:52if Tommy was on the ball

01:21:56he wouldn't be doing the white half before

01:21:58he'd have pierce morgan in

01:22:00just to do this scene

01:22:02yeah but now he's gonna convert it to mp3

01:22:04he's gonna export it to audacity

01:22:08just don't use windows media

01:22:10no

01:22:12there all day

01:22:14no way she can get that recorder now

01:22:18i wanna turn on the switch too

01:22:20in the iron grip of Tommy Wiseau

01:22:22you see how he pushed

01:22:24mark you know

01:22:26it's like right there

01:22:28boom

01:22:30fine

01:22:32i'll sit on the floor

01:22:34how can you do this to me

01:22:36potentially

01:22:38i claim this territory

01:22:40the name of my people

01:22:42hear ye

01:22:44hear ye

01:22:46someone please free birth bar

01:22:48no

01:22:50i'm trying to help

01:22:52no

01:22:54fine

01:22:56Tommy Wiseau is not an angel

01:22:58in any way shape or form

01:23:00for you to just please you

01:23:02and now you betray me

01:23:04how could you love him?

01:23:06how could you love him?

01:23:08i think it was at this point

01:23:10Tommy was coming down

01:23:12if it comes across

01:23:14you're not very crazy

01:23:16you're sure maybe come with him

01:23:18i want your boy

01:23:20you got him?

01:23:22AHHHHH

01:23:24AHHHHH

01:23:26i think it was like a squeaky toy noise

01:23:28who is your daddy

01:23:30and what does he do

01:23:32how much is he paying you

01:23:34how much is he paying you

01:23:44that's who it is

01:23:46ominous music

01:23:48let the bodies hit the floor

01:23:50let the bodies hit the floor

01:23:52let the bodies hit the floor

01:23:54get out of my life

01:23:56that's no way to talk to the bannister

01:23:58did nothing wrong

01:24:00you're gonna get out of everyone's life

01:24:02this is how this works

01:24:04in cinematic history

01:24:05since citizen cain

01:24:06for the record

01:24:08i actually haven't seen

01:24:09citizen cain

01:24:16it's a brilliant disclaimer

01:24:24he's just trying so hard to act

01:24:26there's one single tear

01:24:28oh baps again

01:24:30with norcs

01:24:32you have to have the norcs

01:24:33let's be fair

01:24:34oh no the fruit

01:24:36the plastic fruit

01:24:38no not the candles

01:24:42wait this is

01:24:44i love this part

01:24:46watch how the teddy falls

01:24:48it's already broken

01:24:50straight down

01:24:52do their homework

01:24:54do their homework

01:24:56do their homework

01:24:58do their homework

01:25:00oh no i think i missed a bit

01:25:02but this is thrilling

01:25:06no

01:25:08i'm not doing housework today

01:25:10no bedtime for me

01:25:12i've got five minutes

01:25:14before lisa comes back

01:25:16and i've gotta clean the pitch

01:25:18i'm such a lazily torn thing there

01:25:20yeah

01:25:22yeah

01:25:23actually

01:25:24and then he looks into the broken mirror

01:25:26and it's a horn

01:25:28he just walks off into the dust

01:25:32how many attempts did it take him

01:25:34to throw that thing

01:25:35to work here

01:25:36i'd say this is all a one take

01:25:37like just

01:25:38oh i'd say like the tv was

01:25:40completely fake as well

01:25:41oh yeah

01:25:42you see the way

01:25:43when he picked it up

01:25:44it like flapped

01:25:45yeah

01:25:46it was also that

01:25:47and when he threw it

01:25:48it was going

01:25:49it's gonna fall on its side

01:25:50it'll fall straight forward

01:25:51he's fucking the dress

01:25:52what about the breast cancer

01:25:54maybe that was his promotion

01:25:56wake up

01:25:57yeah no there's nothing

01:25:58now for someone who's uh

01:25:59show himself in the back in

01:26:01i want somebody to scream

01:26:02cap that

01:26:03just say

01:26:04when you love

01:26:05pasta too much

01:26:06is he dead

01:26:08it's red wine night again

01:26:09it's red wine night again

01:26:16dude i wonder what this is

01:26:17yes it's dead

01:26:19is the uh large bullet hole in his mouth

01:26:21not giving it away to you mark

01:26:23oh my god

01:26:24there's a crater in the

01:26:25back of his skull

01:26:26yeah

01:26:27i love that no one even

01:26:29even had a look at an episode of CSI

01:26:31before this

01:26:32to realise what gunshots are

01:26:33guys smell smell

01:26:34no

01:26:37shift

01:26:38see i told you they get together

01:26:41oh my god

01:26:42hashtag vote yes

01:26:43who could have possibly seen this coming

01:26:49he's looking well

01:26:50i lost him but i still have you right

01:26:52right

01:26:53you can't have lost him a long time ago

01:26:56you don't have me

01:26:59you'll never have me

01:27:01okay maybe just one more time on the stairs

01:27:05stairs and that's it

01:27:07i've never fucked on top of a corpse

01:27:10that's one for the list

01:27:14kill the music cause of all of this

01:27:18i don't love you

01:27:20i just made love to you

01:27:21yeah none of this is mark's fault

01:27:22at all

01:27:23get out of my life you bitch

01:27:25so is mark squatting there from now on

01:27:28get out of my house

01:27:31get out of my house

01:27:32he is now tommy

01:27:33and then mark has the artistic shit fit

01:27:35and shoots himself

01:27:36hold on hold on

01:27:37he just called him tommy

01:27:38really

01:27:40he's a johnny

01:27:41he always said tommy

01:27:43good god

01:27:45oh

01:27:46i really want to check this

01:27:47i'm fairly sure he said tommy

01:27:49i'd say he said johnny

01:27:50now denny is to become the next glitch

01:27:53yeah

01:27:55whoever's left with the corpse

01:27:56that's how it worked right

01:27:57yeah

01:27:58why johnny

01:28:01why

01:28:02johnny why

01:28:04just talk to me please

01:28:06you're tearing me apart johnny

01:28:08although you've kind of done that yourself to be honest

01:28:16mark must be really fucking

01:28:18oh he just teleported over there

01:28:20he's very it's all emotional

01:28:21like he was flicked out of the top of the stairs like

01:28:23as if he had another spliff and now he's

01:28:26well what what another thing about cannabis is it just makes you move really fast

01:28:30who called the ambulance

01:28:31it makes everything else

01:28:32they knew

01:28:33they heard they heard the gunshot

01:28:35they knew it was johnny

01:28:37the whole town was talking about

01:28:38from the last moments

01:28:39he he regretted his actions

01:28:41and he

01:28:42no

01:28:43come on come on come on

01:28:44you're on you set up the job now

01:28:45you teed it up

01:28:46yeah okay no

01:28:47you have the psychic powers because i'm actually writing a sequel to this

01:28:50he's not actually dead this is him entering vampire world

01:28:53yeah

01:28:56i mean to be fair that's what i think best friends is like anything you couldn't fit into the room like the vampire and everything

01:29:03it's it's it's it's from the cutting floor of the room

01:29:06we know if you see this please pay us money for promoting your new friends

01:29:09in fairness seeing this i can't imagine they left anything on the cutting room floor

01:29:13well

01:29:15i don't know if you noticed

01:29:16you can see the obligatory like dance song at the end of every

01:29:19at the end of every

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended