Tell What You Really Think Season 01 Episode 03

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Tell What You Really Think Season 01 Episode 03 #Cineva USA https://www.dailymotion.com/Cineva

Transcript

00:00Australia, you're getting old. As a population, we are ageing like never before and fast.

00:10But you know what? Old? Ain't what it used to be.

00:15This week, the seniors doing things differently.

00:18I am amazed at some of the weights that I'm lifting now.

00:23Whether it's fighting to be fit or facing and embracing the challenges of a new age.

00:28Hey Google, help me. Am I getting worse?

00:31You're still managing so much better than others expect you to.

00:35I honestly believe that technology is the future for us.

00:38Plus, I will be diving headfirst into the weird and wild world of longevity science.

00:46Currently we're measuring Mark's muscle mass and his fat mass.

00:51We've got some great news and some to work on news.

00:58Hey. Nice to see you.

01:00Great to see you.

01:01Would you give me a handshake or hug?

01:02I want a hug.

01:02Okay, fine. Hug it is.

01:03Yeah.

01:04Joining me tonight, sexologist Dr Linda Kirkman.

01:08Can I pat her?

01:09Hello, how are you?

01:10Poodle or cavoodle?

01:11Spoodle.

01:12Spoodle.

01:13Dementia advocate, Gwenda Darling.

01:15Would you like a keeche?

01:16I'm vegetarian.

01:17Vegetarian?

01:18Drag performer, Stan Munro.

01:20He said, what are you doing back there?

01:22I've been starving.

01:25Oh, good.

01:26I'm so into this.

01:27Artist, Lindy Lee.

01:29That's what I feel right now.

01:31And geriatrician, Dr John Wall.

01:33You're fairly intimidating, Mark.

01:35Intimidating?

01:36I just served you food.

01:37So we can starve?

01:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:39Go, go.

01:39Cool.

01:41So, thank you all for being here.

01:44I hate to tell you this, but old people apparently are to blame for everything.

01:48Specifically, baby boomers are, according to the headlines, responsible for the housing

01:52crisis, the high cost of education, the high cost of medicine, climate crisis, cost of living

01:57crisis, and of course, the continued popularity of Michael Bublé.

02:02Which of those things would you like to personally accept responsibility for?

02:05Definitely not Michael Bublé.

02:07Ah, okay.

02:07So one of you are going to accept Bublé?

02:09Are you going to accept Bublé?

02:10Yes.

02:11You like Bublé?

02:11Yes.

02:12Oh, there you go.

02:13It's Dan's problem then.

02:15One of my sons said to me at Christmas, okay, boomer, and I said to him, well, it's not

02:21my fault.

02:21I never had any money to start with.

02:23I mean, I've kept the economy going, so you can't blame me.

02:27I accept no responsibility.

02:28I may be a Karen, but I'm not a boomer in the sense that...

02:32So when people say terms like, okay, boomer, like, what goes through your head?

02:36Like, how do you feel?

02:38Oh, well, it's a put down, isn't it?

02:39It's not only an ageist statement.

02:42It's a, you're the scourge of society.

02:45My PhD thesis, I interviewed baby boomers.

02:49I called it, you know, baby boomers in friends with benefits relationships.

02:52And that was started in 2009.

02:55And baby boomer wasn't a slur then, and now it really is.

02:59Initially, way back when, it was quite a flattering term.

03:02But we've transitioned to, this is an insult.

03:05Trouble is, for some people, it's justified too, with the greedy people who had all the

03:09opportunities and then just kept it to themselves.

03:12All those rich middle class people.

03:13Well, that's, well, yeah.

03:15Okay.

03:15I mean, I think I probably own that space.

03:17One thing I'd like to say is, baby boomers were born from parents who had experienced

03:22war, deprivation.

03:25So the moment any sense of prosperity came on, of course, people were going to buy houses

03:29because it was affordable.

03:31So that's a kind of a natural thing.

03:33But we also had to contend with misogyny, racism, homophobia.

03:41So my generation, I think, have fought hard for inclusiveness.

03:46What this current generation that's coming up is, you know, being addicted to social media,

03:51et cetera, et cetera.

03:51I mean, it's going to have its own problems.

03:53All I'm saying, to be even-handed, is that we all come from certain conditions and we grow

03:59in particular ways.

04:00So, John, that big list of things that baby boomers get blamed for, is it fair?

04:06I wouldn't necessarily blame baby boomers.

04:08I think a bit like Lindy Lee, I think it's the context in which people were raised.

04:14I think it's unregulated capitalism.

04:17So somehow we became very selfish and greedy.

04:21But I think it's more the system that people grew up in rather than any particular group of

04:26people.

04:27So talk to me about ageism.

04:28How well are we treating our older people in Australia?

04:31Appallingly.

04:32As a nation, we are letting older people down.

04:36When I'm on the phone and I might be talking to an operator or something like that, when

04:43they know your age, they immediately go into that, well, what can I help you with, dear?

04:49Well, what's wrong, dear?

04:53And I do have a nice day.

04:56And I think, oh, fuck's sake, you know, get over it.

05:01How are we today?

05:02Yeah.

05:03How are we today?

05:04How are we and how are you feeling?

05:06What are you going to do for the rest of the day?

05:09Well, I'm going for a fucking walk around the block.

05:11What are you doing?

05:12It really shits me when they assume because I've got grey hair that I'm technologically

05:17incompetent.

05:18And I've been using computers since before most of them were born.

05:22We're treated like two-year-olds, you know.

05:27I just fight against ageism all the time.

05:29I wear what I like.

05:31I do what I like.

05:33But a lot of people aren't empowered enough to do that.

05:35They've been oppressed all their lives.

05:37Can I ask you about your mate down there?

05:40Redley?

05:40Introduce me to your friend over here.

05:42Ms Redley?

05:43Yeah.

05:44She's a trained assistance dog.

05:46And because of my variant of dementia, I have behaviour variant frontotemporal dementia.

05:51So get excited.

05:52I may take my clothes off at any minute.

05:55I may just abuse the crap out of you because you give me the shits.

05:59Okay.

05:59How am I doing so far?

06:00Well, I don't know anything about you.

06:02I've never heard of you before.

06:04It's probably for the best.

06:04So you're okay.

06:05You're quite a good-looking fella, but you'll do.

06:09I really have lost my social filter.

06:13Yeah.

06:14And I try.

06:15I try very hard.

06:16But when I get agitated or distressed, Redley is straight on.

06:20If I started telling you to get fucked right now, she's immediately there.

06:26And she keeps me functioning.

06:28John, do you reckon you've ever been on the receiving end of ageism?

06:31No, I don't think so.

06:33But then I'm in a very privileged position.

06:35But I think we could do an awful lot to make our communities more age-friendly.

06:40And if it was obvious to older people that the community, the government at all three levels,

06:47was taking the needs of older people seriously, that would do a lot to get rid of ageism.

06:53Are older women treated differently to older men?

06:56Yes.

06:57How so?

06:58Actually, older women are still expected to do things.

07:02They're seen as useless in a physical sense, as in they can't lift up a table and chairs or do things like that.

07:10But I think they're also expected to continue caring, continue in their caring roles, whereas older men tend to be thrown on the scrap heap.

07:20You know, they really, if you can't mow the lawns anymore, what good are you?

07:25You're not going to work and bring in the dollar.

07:28You're not mowing the lawns.

07:29What can you do?

07:30Women do older age much better than men.

07:34And the reason is that their social role continues, because they've always been daughters, mothers, sisters, friends.

07:42They have more friends.

07:43Whereas men define themselves much more by their occupation or their profession.

07:47And when that's no longer there, they don't then have another social role to easily fall into.

07:53But it's not that other people think they're useless.

07:56They think it's that self, well, I think I'm useless.

07:58And if their sense of self isn't tied to physical capacity, sexual prowess, earning a living, you know, kind of those kind of roles,

08:08then that's when they chuck themselves on the scrap heap as much as someone else chucking them on the scrap heap.

08:13I have to go there.

08:14They can still have sexual prowess.

08:15If they don't, we can help them.

08:18Well, that's a whole idea.

08:19No, we've got to go there, because that's what we've got to talk about today.

08:21I'm a sex therapist.

08:22I go there a lot.

08:24Let's talk about sex.

08:25Yeah, absolutely.

08:27What's that?

08:28Sex.

08:29Yes.

08:29Are you missing out?

08:30Oh, big time.

08:32I haven't been laid for about 15 years.

08:36And how do you feel about that?

08:38Shocking.

08:40Dreadful.

08:41Going to residential care, you'll be right.

08:44But we can't talk about it.

08:46We've got to pretend it doesn't.

08:47There's a reaction in other generations when you bring up the concept of people over the age of 70 having sex.

08:53Oh, the ick factor.

08:54Yeah, why?

08:55Why does that happen, do you think?

08:56Because we were so secretive.

08:57We were taught, we were brought up not to talk about it.

09:00Another thing to blame baby boomers on, it's your own fault.

09:03But, that's right.

09:05But they forget we were the liberated generation as well.

09:09We burnt our bras.

09:10Yeah, okay.

09:11We had sex in public places.

09:14So, Linda, you are a sex therapist.

09:16Yes.

09:16When older people come to you, what are the sorts of problems they're presenting with?

09:20What do they want help with?

09:22The mismatched libido is the most hot topic always.

09:26And so, what sort of, like, advice do you give?

09:28Like, are there practical tips that you find yourself giving over and over again for older clients?

09:32Know what you want.

09:33Ask for what you want.

09:34Be prepared to call a boundary.

09:36I don't think people know what they like.

09:38And because there's a fairly standard sexual script, particularly the heteronormative sexual script, there's the, there might be kissing, maybe some erogenous zone touching, perhaps some oral sex, penis in vagina, intercourse.

09:50The guy comes, it's all over Red Rover.

09:51And quite often, women will fake it, fake an orgasm, because that's, they're expected to have an orgasm.

09:59And if they say that they haven't, there's conflict as a result.

10:02So, getting, chucking out the script and going, hey, well, what do you like?

10:06How do you know what you like?

10:07Let's explore and find out, play, pleasure, curiosity.

10:10Gwenda, how have your sexual preferences changed since you've got a diagnosis for dementia?

10:15I've become pansexual.

10:17I accept everybody for who they are.

10:19I'll go with anybody, basically.

10:22That had a pulse?

10:23No, I didn't even have to have a pulse.

10:25Oh, vegetable would be fine.

10:26I can tell you, cucumbers are better than men.

10:29But.

10:29Now you tell me.

10:32But then I went through a different stage.

10:35I changed from being a heterosexual woman to being pansexual.

10:41But about three years ago, I became asexual.

10:46Oh, okay.

10:46Here I am advocating for the rights of older people to have sexual relationships.

10:51But I've actually lost all interest.

10:53I did say to one of my sons, I'd have to be pretty good now with all, you know, all my wrinkles.

10:58I'd have to be in the dark.

10:59He said, you forget that everybody else who'd come near you would be the same way.

11:02But seriously, we have to stop this argument that people with dementia don't have capacity.

11:09And this is where in residential care, there's a huge responsibility on providers.

11:14Because they have to keep me safe.

11:16But they also have a duty to allow me to meet my needs.

11:20And this is where Bluetooth penis sheets, Bluetooth vibrators come into their own.

11:25Who's controlling the other end of the Bluetooth?

11:28Well, it can actually be staff.

11:30It can actually be a volunteer.

11:32It can actually be a paid sex worker who's giving you a hug while they're doing it.

11:35We can get paid sex workers into residential care.

11:38On the gay scene, there is and always has been ageism.

11:45Once you reach a certain age, you might as well be dead, really.

11:51I'd like someone to cuddle up to and things like that, you know.

11:56But who doesn't need a cuddle?

11:59Well, that kind of raises an interesting kind of point.

12:02At the chapter of Lives that you're in at the moment, how much of it is about intimacy and connection?

12:06And how much of it is it about pleasure?

12:07I think it's much more about relationships and that shared intimacy.

12:14I think if you've had a close relationship with someone for a long time, that intimacy continues.

12:21It may not be terribly physical, but, you know, it's a very beautiful thing to do at the end of the day, to just be together.

12:30Stan?

12:30I was about to say that I've met a lot of straight married men that have hidden in the closet for years.

12:42And they always say, and I say to them, well, why did you get married?

12:48And they said, because I had to.

12:51Yeah, I've had, in relation to my clients, I've had, I have worked with people who've been in that experience, who've been by all their lives and felt obliged to shut it down for all kinds of reasons.

13:03And then when they're free to express themselves, it's like, it's like going through another adolescence, except, except you're in your 60s.

13:10Not that long ago, reaching your 60s meant entering the final chapter of life.

13:17But baby boomers are flipping that script.

13:21Let's wind back to the birth of this generation.

13:23From 1946 to 1964, Australia celebrated the end of World War II with an unprestented baby bonanza.

13:31At the time, life expectancy was around 66 for men and 71 for women.

13:35Today, those figures sit at 81 for men and 85 for women.

13:41Coupled up with the fact that the baby boom has well and truly busted and you have got yourself an ageing population.

13:48In 1950, around 8% of Australians were over 65.

13:52By next year, it will be 22%.

13:55This year, even the youngest boomer turns 61.

14:00Here's the other thing.

14:01Baby boomers aren't just living longer, they're working longer too.

14:04In the past two decades, the average age of retirement has gone from around 57 to 65.

14:12And some of them don't want to retire at all.

14:16John, are you still working?

14:19Yes, I'm semi-retired, but I'm still working as a geriatrician.

14:23Medically speaking, is there a right age to retire?

14:26Probably well before my age, probably.

14:31I should have retired.

14:33No, I think you go on until you feel you've had enough.

14:40When it no longer gives you satisfaction, that's probably the age to retire.

14:45But retiring requires a decision, Mark.

14:49That's the problem.

14:50Right.

14:50Why is that a problem?

14:53Maybe I'm not very good at decisions.

14:55But eventually, you know, I feel I'll know there's a time.

14:59So, Stan, you're 84, yes?

15:02I'm 84, yes.

15:03Are you still working?

15:04I'm still doing a show here, there and everywhere.

15:09And it's called Vintage Drag in Mint Condition.

15:16And it involves me on stage, and I'm interviewed on stage.

15:21And there's a big screen behind me.

15:23And it shows pictures and movies that I've had, you know, the luck to appear in.

15:32But jobs are very thin on the ground at the moment.

15:43Lindy, what does a good retirement look like to you?

15:48That's a ridiculous question to ask an artist.

15:51An artist just doesn't retire.

15:53OK.

15:54Well, because it's your vocation.

15:55You know, you have to be really stupid to be an artist.

15:58It's the only thing you want to do with your life.

16:00You are compelled.

16:01It's a compulsion.

16:02So I'm afraid that's just that.

16:06Retirement, I think I've said, you know, like I'm 71, or 71 in a minute.

16:12No one's counting, it's fine.

16:14But I just feel as if I've started.

16:17Yeah, it's interesting, because you've just unveiled this sculpture that is, I think,

16:20one of the most expensive, elaborate sculptures in Australian history.

16:23And I've heard you say that it was just your apprenticeship.

16:26Why did you say that?

16:27Because it takes a long time for ideas to bake if you're an artist.

16:33Mm-hmm.

16:34You know, I think you have to take a long apprenticeship to your own humanity and a long apprenticeship

16:40to being open to the world.

16:42And then with a bit of luck, and you're practising all the time, doing all of this, then you're

16:49ready to really start making stuff.

16:51That's what I feel right now.

16:53Coming up...

16:54OK, so this is a measure of your basal metabolic rate.

16:57I've become a human lab rat to see just how badly my body is ageing.

17:02And we're using this to get an idea of stroke risk.

17:07And we explore the bleeding edge of longevity science.

17:10Right here.

17:14I think it's a useless, very selfish experiment this guy's doing.

17:20Happy birthday, dear I mean.

17:25Happy birthday to you.

17:30The number of Australians living to 100 has skyrocketed in recent decades.

17:35I wish a wish come true.

17:38I wish a wish the same for you.

17:41But making it to 110, like Eileen Kramer, well, that remains extremely rare.

17:47Oh, I don't mind being called 110.

17:53I just don't like the general idea of oldness.

17:59Eileen is a renowned dancer who began her career in 1940 with one of Australia's very first

18:05modern dance companies.

18:07And today, she is what statisticians call a super centenarian.

18:11Here we go.

18:14Eileen, Eileen, come on, Eileen.

18:17Come on, Eileen.

18:18Now 110 and our forever dancing queen.

18:23To her royal owners, the queen...

18:25It takes a long time to grow up.

18:29Most people don't live long enough.

18:33Well, that could all change.

18:34Thanks to a rapidly growing industry that wants to cheat death.

18:39Right here.

18:43We're at this special moment in time.

18:45We have this opportunity to build an existence that is actually much more expansive and interesting

18:52than anything we can imagine.

18:54Brian Johnson is the poster boy slash middle-aged man of the longevity movement.

18:59Or as he sometimes likes to call it, the don't die movement.

19:03The future is better than we are.

19:06This 48-year-old reportedly spends $2 million US dollars a year to effectively become an 18-year-old

19:13again.

19:14Yes, you might have heard of him.

19:15He's the guy that injected a litre of his 17-year-old son's blood into himself.

19:20And then gave a litre of his own blood to his father.

19:25And now he claims that he has the erections of a teenager.

19:30He might be a little crazy, but he's far from alone in the longevity train.

19:35Which is how you find this freshly 40-year-old TV presenter here at a longevity clinic in Sydney.

19:44I've come to see this man, Dr. Adam Brown, who is going to carry out a bit of an investigation

19:50into the state of my decrepit aging body.

19:53We take a proactive approach to healthcare rather than sort of a whack-a-mole approach.

19:58Well, I'm in your hands.

20:03Where do you want to start?

20:05I suppose the essence of the clinic is we want to get as much biodata as possible.

20:12And that means blood tests.

20:14Lots of them.

20:15That's an insane amount of part.

20:18Then come the ultrasounds.

20:21And we're using this to get an idea of stroke risk.

20:24How does it look?

20:25Your arteries are looking excellent.

20:28Why, thank you.

20:29Glucose monitors.

20:33A VO2 max fitness test.

20:36So VO2 max is massively associated with longevity.

20:40Sure, unless it kills you first.

20:42How was that?

20:43Good.

20:45Then there's the DEXA scan.

20:48And currently we're measuring Mark's muscle mass and his fat mass.

20:52Whatever this is.

20:57OK, so this is a measure of your basal metabolic rate.

21:01Strength tests.

21:02Go on, Will.

21:04Oh, OK.

21:05One, let's go.

21:05Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

21:07And drop.

21:08Great depth.

21:09Keep that range.

21:1024.

21:11And lots of questions.

21:13So another thing we picked up on your preliminary assessment was your sleep duration.

21:20Yes.

21:21Tell me about that.

21:21Uh, I have never been much of a sleeper.

21:25Uh, I tend to do, on average, sort of four to five hours.

21:28Anyone who sleeps for an average of under six hours a night, there is a sort of slight increased risk of Alzheimer's disease.

21:35What about your bowel motions?

21:37Yeah.

21:37Do you feel like when you go that it's a full evacuation?

21:42Oh, um...

21:43Yeah, that one you're just going to have to use your imagination.

21:46All of this, I don't think it's a secret.

21:49It's not necessarily cheap.

21:50Who comes to you?

21:52Like, what sort of people are coming to you for these sorts of tests?

21:54Sometimes you get the, you know, the 50-year-old hard-working CEO of a company.

22:00You know, he's let his career take over his life and sort of let, neglected other parts of his life.

22:06You get another sort of patient who feels like they're extremely fit and healthy.

22:11But we can always find something wrong with people, even if they think they're perfect.

22:15I'm going to come back to Adam for the verdict on my health.

22:18But that was a five-hour appointment that normally comes with a $6,000 bill.

22:23There's only going to be a teeny-tiny percentage of the population that can really take advantage of something like this clinic.

22:29Meanwhile, over in Newcastle...

22:36There's culture out there that once you're 60 or 70 or 80, we're meant to just, you know, wrap you in cotton wool and get you ready to die.

22:55So, society is telling you, you're old and you're weak, but you're not.

23:01Groundwork fitness is not your average gym.

23:04And Carl Verstig is definitely not your average fitness influencer.

23:08Speaking, I guess, for myself, because I have cerebral palsy, the whole thing around me would have been cotton wool.

23:14That's what's happening with the old age here is that you look at Google and put in strength training for seniors

23:21and you just see those happy, shiny faces with two-kilo dumbbells sitting on a ball.

23:28We can do better.

23:29So, how heavy are we talking?

23:31You've got 78-year-olds in here. What are they lifting?

23:34We've got a 75-year-old here that started on 13 kilos and now lifts 78 kilos.

23:39We've got a 70-plus-year-old male lifting a 120-kilo deadlift.

23:45The funny thing is, everyone's going to look at that and go,

23:48Oh, wow, that's amazing and, oh, wow.

23:50But it's not. It should be the norm.

23:54I am getting stronger and I'm feeling stronger.

23:56I am amazed at some of the weights that I'm lifting now.

24:00Probably I've got a bit of a problem. I'm a bit gung-ho.

24:02And I have to get told, you know, hang on, just draw back a bit there, mister.

24:07Why is it so important for older people to do strength training?

24:11It just helps in a myriad of different ways.

24:13So, whether it's lifestyle, you've got picking up grandkids,

24:17you've got groceries, you've got walking upstairs.

24:21This is what's going to help people stay living independently.

24:25The driving force for me is that I'm a carer.

24:27My husband's got dementia.

24:29And so I need to be fit enough, really, to be looking after him.

24:33And the reason I came here is because I have to pay stop surgery on my knees,

24:36having knee replacements and hip replacements.

24:39I was just getting stiffer and stiffer.

24:41Now I can squat down and just, you know, get straight back up.

24:45A massive improvement.

24:47There'll be, I think, lots of people watching this thinking,

24:51I couldn't possibly do that.

24:53What if I get injured?

24:54What do you say to people?

24:56Well, I've all got cerebral palsy and bone on bone with my knee.

25:00You know, I'm still training.

25:02So, basically, no excuses.

25:05Not even for me.

25:06So, we're going to start with some deadlifts.

25:09So, this is probably one of the big forex size that we do here.

25:13Push your belly through your thighs.

25:15Take a big breath of air and just pull it up your shins.

25:18Straight up and then straight down.

25:21Tits to the wall and balls to the floor for me.

25:24Right?

25:25Yep.

25:26And then straight down.

25:27This is the biggest bang for your buck.

25:30Like, if you're on a desert island, you can only do one lift.

25:33They always say it's either a deadlift or a squat.

25:36How did you get into weightlifting?

25:39My parents got me to start to lift when I was 14 years old.

25:44You know, if I don't lift or mainly do deadlifts and squats,

25:49of course, I'll be kind of going backwards and, yeah,

25:53apparently into a wheelchair.

25:54Up, down, breathe out.

25:57Breathe in.

25:58That's better.

25:59Yeah, good.

26:00I'll admit, this is not my first time in a gym,

26:02but the vibe of this place is unlike anything I've ever experienced.

26:06I don't think other people want to go in and have, you know,

26:10the peacocks walking around and the road monkeys and the mirrors

26:13and the loud music.

26:15My history with gyms is diabolical, except for this one.

26:19When we were going to some of the other gyms,

26:21their focus wasn't on you.

26:24It was on the young, fit, beautiful people.

26:27This is like exercising with all your friends, your good friends.

26:32It's a really happy place to come to.

26:35Happy and potentially life-saving.

26:37One in four people, once they get a hip fracture,

26:40end up in the cemetery 12 months later.

26:43So if you're building yourself up for bone and muscle strength,

26:49you're going to save yourself a trip to the hospital

26:51or a trip to the cemetery just by being stronger.

26:56Down.

26:58Ah.

26:59Eileen Kramer may not be a lifter.

27:02Down.

27:03But she is militant about exercise.

27:05Touch your toes.

27:07Ah.

27:09And cross your eyes.

27:12And she has another weapon.

27:14I said to her today,

27:15everybody's going to ask you what your secret is.

27:17And she said,

27:19have something meaningful to do.

27:21And that sort of applies however old you are.

27:24But it sort of even more applies to you

27:27when everything else kind of falls away.

27:30She wakes up every day and decides what to create.

27:34Be that doing a drawing,

27:37making a story, writing a story,

27:41choreographing a dance,

27:43and that's what keeps her alive.

27:45I think I'm just getting started.

27:49Back to the longevity clinic.

27:51What are my chances of joining Eileen

27:53in the ranks of the super centenarians?

27:56We've got some great news

27:58and some to work on news.

28:01Yes.

28:01So we'll start with the good.

28:03So basically, your lean mass,

28:06so your muscle mass,

28:08you are scoring above average for your height.

28:12OK.

28:13Basically, we want this score to be as high as possible

28:15because as we get older in life,

28:17our muscle mass tends to reduce.

28:19So we need a reserve.

28:21So there is some stuff to work on.

28:23Yeah, as with everyone.

28:25I feel like you're buttering me up.

28:26Yeah.

28:27Stop on the blow.

28:28Yeah.

28:29I think the blow might be that I'm too soft.

28:32So the next thing we look at is the fat mass index.

28:35So your FMI was eight.

28:37So this kind of puts you in the...

28:40Well, the normal range is between three and six.

28:42So it puts you in the sort of excess fat category.

28:48So, again, something to work on.

28:49My final report from the clinic runs to 50 pages

28:54with some very sensible suggestions around diet and exercise.

28:58It also suggests that I consider some supplements

29:00that, whilst not proven for humans,

29:02do extend the lives of ageing rats and fruit flies.

29:05As for Brian Johnson, despite a few setbacks,

29:10he says he's now building a religion

29:12that will become the fastest-growing ideology in history.

29:16What do you think of this world of longevity science?

29:22Well, I think there's two sides to this.

29:24One is what this guy's doing,

29:26which I think is both ridiculous and counterproductive.

29:30This is a very selfish N equals one experiment he's doing.

29:34How much more valuable it would be

29:36if he was putting that money into randomised controlled trials

29:39of some of the things he's doing.

29:41He's doing a dozen different things.

29:43Nobody's going to know in the end whether any of those helped

29:46or any of those killed him or whatever happens.

29:49So I think it's a useless,

29:51very selfish experiment this guy's doing.

29:55However, there are serious researchers

29:57working on longevity science,

30:01and I don't see any big problem with that

30:03because I think everybody who's reached a certain age,

30:07like Stan and I have reached the age of 80,

30:09we would like to go on living a reasonably healthy disability-free life

30:16for as long as possible.

30:18But I think it's much more important to be thinking about

30:21putting life into years than years into life.

30:26Lindy, what do you think about longevity science?

30:29Oh, God, it frustrates me

30:32because it's just...it's so anti-life, actually.

30:35You know, and, yeah, sure, try it,

30:37but you cannot ever know the moment of your death.

30:40You cannot know genetically

30:41if you're predisposed to live to 50 or 110.

30:46None of those things are within your control.

30:49Look, it's really important to be healthy.

30:51It's really...I swim two kilometres most day, you know,

30:54cos that's just my thing.

30:55I like to be fit.

30:57I like to eat reasonably well.

30:59But I have no idea the moment I'm going to die,

31:02I have no idea that all of the things that I am doing with my life

31:05won't end in cancer or whatever.

31:08And what frustrates me

31:09is because all of your eggs are being put over in that basket

31:13of reaching 150 years old or something like that.

31:17And what you're missing out on is your life right now.

31:20Stan, if I could give you a pill that would make you young again,

31:23would you take it?

31:26Yes, I would take it.

31:28I hate the thought of dying.

31:30Yeah?

31:30Hmm.

31:32I just want to be alive forever.

31:35I've got a habit of, um...

31:37If I'm sitting out on the bench outside IGA,

31:43I will, um, ask a person sitting next to me,

31:47how old are you?

31:49And they will say, oh, I might be...

31:52Oh, I might be 65.

31:54And I think to myself, fuck, I've done well.

31:58You know, because I walk everywhere.

32:01I've never driven a car.

32:03And every morning I'm up at 6.30 and I'm exercising the dog.

32:08And...

32:09But I do, um...

32:10I go to the gym,

32:12but...

32:13It's what you put in your mouth.

32:17I'm very pedantic about my diet and everything.

32:22I would love to have a hunk of that bread,

32:24but I know it's probably...

32:26It'll show up on my waist.

32:29You know what I mean?

32:30Well, I think if you're talking about a good older age,

32:34I mean, the short answer is you need three things.

32:37Something or someone to love,

32:40something to do,

32:41and something to look forward to.

32:43Um, and most of those are available to most people.

32:46You've got to exercise,

32:48you've got to sleep seven to nine hours a night,

32:51you've got to eat sensibly,

32:53you've got to drink alcohol moderately, very moderately,

32:56not smoke, look after your cardiac risk factors,

32:59but the most important factor by a mile,

33:02just above exercise,

33:03is the relationship business.

33:05So that's the secret, real secret to ageing,

33:08is to establish and keep those relationships.

33:10Well, I've failed on all counts,

33:12so there's no hope for me.

33:14I eat what I like,

33:15when I like,

33:16sleep a couple of hours at a time.

33:18I think sense of purpose is what keeps...

33:21Sense of purpose.

33:22You've got to have a sense of purpose.

33:24But I'm the wrong person to talk to about longevity,

33:26because I've been so ready to die,

33:29for so long.

33:30If I go out and get hit by a car today,

33:32don't cry for me.

33:35Just be grateful that you've met me before.

33:37Every day I wake up and think,

33:39bugger, I'm still here.

33:42Still to come...

33:43Whoop!

33:44..the technology that could keep you out of aged care.

33:48Without my technology here at home,

33:50I couldn't function.

33:51It's helped me to survive.

33:53And what to do when you're ready to die.

33:58I am going to walk naked at a new beach.

34:03I can sort of determine the time of my death.

34:05I'm not scared of death.

34:16Death is the easy bit, really.

34:19It's what comes before death that's the hard bit.

34:21At the age of 66,

34:34I was diagnosed with frontal temporal dementia.

34:38That's the sort of diagnosis that nobody wants.

34:43People say,

34:44Oh, you don't look as if you've got dementia.

34:47I'm not quite sure how people want me to look.

34:53There are hundreds and hundreds of different types of dementia.

34:56Alzheimer's the most common.

34:58But we all have different symptoms.

35:03Set the alarm to remind me I've got the washing on.

35:07That's set.

35:09With frontal temporal dementia,

35:10it's not all about memory.

35:12It's not about losing your keys.

35:14It's losing everything.

35:19I became very disorganised.

35:21I lost the ability to multi-skill.

35:23And my friends said to me,

35:27You're really blunt.

35:28You're abrupt.

35:30You're interrupting us.

35:31You're quite rude.

35:33You're not the Bobby we know.

35:36About four years ago,

35:38things were getting really bad.

35:39I'd had a fire.

35:40And things were getting horribly burnt.

35:42And I was throwing away more pans.

35:44And I could afford.

35:45And I had an ACAT assessment

35:47to receive assistance at home.

35:52And the assessor asked the normal questions.

35:55And she talked about the need for me to go into residential care.

36:00And I said,

36:01You're kidding me?

36:03I can't go into care.

36:06I think going into residential care is everybody's worst nightmare.

36:12For those of us with dementia,

36:14we tend to get locked away.

36:16Bobby, it's time to log on for your meeting.

36:20It's about to start.

36:22Maria.

36:23This morning, I went to the council inclusion meeting.

36:26Oh, yeah.

36:26Okay.

36:27And are you going down next week to Dementia Australia and ride?

36:32Have you been invited down?

36:33I think it's going down.

36:34Luckily, I have friends who are working in dementia research.

36:38And so I got on to them and I said,

36:40Help me quick.

36:41They gave me all these tips and ideas

36:44and simple, simple technological things.

36:47Now, I've got technology everywhere in my home.

36:51I got an electrician come in and fix up my cooker

36:55so that it's now on a timer.

36:58It means that I'm not going to set fire to the house,

37:00so that's a really good thing.

37:01I have a motion detection system

37:05which basically recognises when I'm moving around in the house.

37:10That one goes back to a base

37:13who send out a text to my daughter

37:16just to let them know that I'm up and about each day.

37:19It's 45 a.m.

37:21Sorry, that's one of my prompts.

37:22Is it time to walk around and have a drink?

37:24That prompt to have a drink and walk around

37:26is just to remind me that I need to keep my fluids up

37:29and it's to remind me to go to the bathroom

37:31because I can forget, which isn't pleasant.

37:37Oh, yeah.

37:38What?

37:40So I have this robotic dog.

37:43When he's calm, you can actually feel a heartbeat.

37:46Hello.

37:47People love them.

37:49It's just that I don't.

37:51When he keeps wanting to talk to me

37:53and yap at me and carry on,

37:55I want to throw him out the window.

37:57But that's just me.

38:00The yapping I find really annoying.

38:03So luckily I can mute it,

38:04but then it's a bit creepy when it's moving around

38:06without making any sound.

38:10Oh, now the phone's going.

38:11There you are.

38:12It's all happening.

38:13Right.

38:13You're quiet now.

38:15But my biggest help is just my telephone,

38:18my alarm system and my telephone.

38:21I found out I could record messages.

38:23It's like having a carer living with me,

38:25only it's met my voice.

38:26Hey, Bobby, it's tablet time.

38:28Shh, stop.

38:28I'm always arguing with myself.

38:30OK, got it.

38:31Yeah, I know.

38:32Tablet time.

38:32I'm going.

38:33Coming.

38:33Shh, stop.

38:35My current motto,

38:37the only fear is no Wi-Fi.

38:41Without my technology here at home,

38:43I couldn't function.

38:44It's helped me to survive.

38:48Hey, Google, help me.

38:50Am I getting worse?

38:53Some days are better than others.

38:55Keep on doing your best.

38:56You're still managing so much better than others expect you to.

39:00Be kind to yourself.

39:02Sometimes when you live alone,

39:04you just need somebody to remind you

39:06of the things that you have to remind yourself other times.

39:10I would actually quite like a robot.

39:18We know that there's not the manpower out there

39:21to look after the ageing population as it is,

39:25and we all want to stay at home.

39:28None of us want to go into care.

39:30I honestly believe that technology is the future for us.

39:34Bobby, it's time to put the washing on

39:36or take it out or hang it out.

39:39I don't believe that necessarily having dementia,

39:44living with dementia, means suffering.

39:48There's me and there's my dementia.

39:51We sit alongside each other, but dementia's not me.

39:54Dementia doesn't make me what I am.

39:56It's just something that gets in the way sometimes

39:58of letting me be what I want to be.

40:01Hey, Google, play An Elegant Affair from Spotify.

40:04All right.

40:07I've been a dancer all my life.

40:08That's what I miss.

40:10There was actually a recent fundraiser here

40:12on the Central Coast,

40:13Dance Against Dementia, they called it.

40:15The guy that was organising it was a really nice man.

40:19When we started dancing, he said,

40:20you're a dancer.

40:22And I said, I used to be a dancer.

40:25So he said, I can tell you're a dancer.

40:27I can feel it in the way you move.

40:29It was one of the nicest things anybody said to me

40:31for a long time because I recognise that that's something

40:34that has left my life.

40:37And him saying that really made me feel as if,

40:42yeah, you know what, I am a dancer.

40:44I might not be in a dance anymore,

40:45but this will stop me being a dancer.

40:47What do you wish we would change

40:55about the way society deals

40:57with people living with dementia?

40:59I wish the stigma would stop.

41:02The minute you get diagnosed, people recoil.

41:06If I had cancer, people would be gathering around,

41:09people would be supporting me.

41:11The minute you're diagnosed with dementia,

41:13your friends leave, people recoil.

41:15So can you go back and tell me about that moment

41:19when you got the diagnosis?

41:21How did it feel at that moment?

41:23I went home to die.

41:25I took to my bed.

41:26I stopped showering.

41:27I'm still ready to die.

41:29I'm not doing it today.

41:31But at that time, I just wanted to die.

41:34I wanted to do it quick.

41:35So if you don't eat and you don't drink,

41:36you've got a good chance of dying.

41:38I was 59 when I was diagnosed with younger onset dementia.

41:42Dementia's here.

41:43It's like COVID.

41:44It's running rampant.

41:46We're not going to avoid it because we don't know the cures.

41:48We don't know the causes.

41:50We know some modifiable factors.

41:52But I'm a perfect example of modifiable factors.

41:55I've never drunk alcohol.

41:57I've never smoked cigarettes.

41:58Never had a cup of coffee in my life.

42:00I think it's the most neglected illness in our society.

42:04I remember one fellow who was the British boxing champion.

42:09He would run a half marathon each day, go to the gym, work out and do boxing.

42:13Then he got younger onset dementia.

42:16He was put into a nursing home, brought over by his family, put in a nursing home.

42:19And they wondered why he was wandering, intrusive, aggressive.

42:24There was no exercise for him to do.

42:27There was nothing to expend his activity on.

42:29Nowhere for him to wander.

42:30We don't wander, John.

42:33We walk.

42:34Change your language.

42:35That's typical geriatrician medical language.

42:38We aren't deficits.

42:40You can't talk they.

42:41You have to accept that we are all individuals.

42:44And we walk.

42:45We don't wander.

42:46We don't have behaviour.

42:47Walking, but exercising, walking.

42:49You don't disagree on it as much as you think you do, I don't think.

42:52This is where you come in with ageism, though.

42:55Because with dementia, we talk, we change the language.

42:59Suddenly they're childlike.

43:00Suddenly they wander.

43:02They have behaviours.

43:04I would hate to end up with a dementia that you turn into a really agro person.

43:13Like me.

43:14No, that lashes out.

43:17You know, physically.

43:19And has to be kept under control and whatever.

43:23I would hate that.

43:25So, there's been a lot of talk about ageing.

43:30I'm interested in death.

43:32John, what does a good death look like to you?

43:35I, well, I'm in a privileged position, again, being a doctor.

43:38I can sort of determine the time of my death.

43:42Look, it's very much bound up with my wife.

43:45Um, so, uh, if she has a problem that restricts the quality of her life, I think we'd be probably happy to go together.

43:57Um, I'm not quite so concerned about the quality of my life, although I would never want to wind up in residential aged care.

44:12Being a gay man, the only thing that worries me about getting older is, um, going into a home.

44:27Being looked after by people that aren't on my, in my mindset, you know, would probably think, oh, you know, he's an old poof.

44:37You know what I mean?

44:38Um, until two months ago, I would have said I'm never going to a residential aged care facility.

44:43I have now found three in Australia that I would go to.

44:47Okay.

44:47Which gives everybody hope there are some good residential aged care facilities.

44:52I could not have said that three months ago.

44:54Interesting.

44:55Gwenda, do you have an end-of-life plan?

44:57Absolutely.

44:58Tell me about it.

44:58I am going to walk naked at a nude beach, and I'm going to walk into the ocean.

45:06I came into the world naked.

45:07I'll leave naked at a nude beach.

45:09Trouble is that now I've lost my driver's licence, I'm going to have to have somebody assist me,

45:15which leaves them vulnerable to the law.

45:18But I will certainly end my life my way.

45:21But voluntary assisted dying, I'm deemed as having no capacity to give authority.

45:28I don't know what I'm doing because I have a dementia diagnosis.

45:32So this is an important point, right?

45:33So voluntary assisted dying, it is legal throughout Australia, but not for people with dementia.

45:39Does that need to change, John?

45:41Look, firstly, I'm not sure I agree that Gwenda does not have capacity.

45:45I don't think just because you have dementia you don't have the capacity.

45:48I think the problem more would be getting someone to say that Gwenda is going to die within the next 12 months.

45:53That's because you've got to have a condition that's going to kill you within six months if it's like cancer or something,

46:01or if it's a neurodegenerative disease within 12 months.

46:03I have put up one person with dementia for voluntary assisted dying, and he was knocked back.

46:09I didn't agree with the decision, but he was knocked back.

46:12What does healthy ageing look like to you, Linda?

46:15It's about attitude, which might be, I mean, we've got a lot of attitude here that I think really contributes to your vitality.

46:25It's the attitude to want to be satisfied or to see a completion of a project or to enjoy the connection and intimacy that you do.

46:38But find another mammal to cuddle.

46:42Lindy, your mum's over 100 years old.

46:45When you ask her now about her life, what makes a good life, what does she say?

46:51Eat no fat.

46:54She gave us a whole lecture.

46:55You want to live long, you eat no fat.

46:57OK.

46:58One of the best conversations I had with mum was about two weeks ago when I simply asked her,

47:04Mum, are you OK with your life?

47:07And she most beautifully just sort of turned to me and she grinned and she said,

47:12Ah, I satisfy.

47:15And like, that is just, you know, that is the best answer possible.

47:20You promise you keep me secret?

47:22Yeah.

47:22Why did that?

47:24Very important.

47:25I can't tell anybody else, OK?

47:27OK, all right.

47:27You don't tell anybody.

47:28OK, all right.

47:30The secret?

47:31Mm-hmm.

47:31I love you.

47:32You don't tell anybody else.

47:35That's a secret.

47:36Yeah.

47:37It's a secret.

47:39We all love mummy.

47:40Oh, yeah.

47:41Of course.

47:43It's funny.

47:44One is very good.

47:45Well, interestingly, most older people are happier than younger people.

47:50I mean, there's a lot of depression and loneliness at an older age.

47:54But if you actually survey the community, the levels of life satisfaction and happiness

48:00are highest in older people.

48:02So, most people are finding older age a pleasant part of their life.

48:09Thank you all so much for coming.

48:11And I suppose, in the spirit of Lindy's mum, I'm going to toast to being satisfied.

48:17Oh, yes.

48:19Cheers.

48:20Thank you all so much.

48:22I can't reach all the way over there.

48:23My arms are not long enough.

48:27Coming up next week, enter the menopause warriors.

48:30More than a decade of feeling like shit.

48:34But not for everybody.

48:35Not for everybody.

48:36But for a lot of women.

48:38Because I've been my mother's generation.

48:39I remember them being in a cardiganed coffin in the corner of the kitchen, talking about

48:43the change.

48:44You know, as a Voldemort was coming.

48:46Inside the menopause industrial complex.

48:49It's really clever marketing.

48:51Women are being preyed upon by companies that are making products that say they do stuff

48:58that they don't do.

48:59They're only trading off it.

49:00Because there's a gap.

49:02GPs definitely need to be not dismissing women.

49:05Menopause is very natural.

49:06It's just part of life.

49:08Yes, it's natural.

49:09But it doesn't mean that people like us need to suffer.

49:11I want to have to flip this table, but I might.

49:13Emergency.

49:14Emergency.

49:15Emergency.

49:16And life after menopause.

49:19Sex gets better and better and better.

49:21Well, I can't believe I'm even vertical right now.

49:24That's next week on Tell Me What You Really Think.

49:28Think.

49:29Think.

49:30Think.

49:31Think.

49:32Think.

49:33Think.

49:34Think.

49:38Think.

50:06Think.

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