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Short filmTranscript
00:00Having just thwarted another dastardly scheme, Foxman and Beaver are about to discover there is no such thing as a rest for the Wicked.
00:15Yes, Commissioner? I see. Right away.
00:20Our next mission. The Minx has set her sights on the Darlington Ruby in Cotswolds.
00:30The Cotswolds are in England. Holy tea and strawberry scones, Foxman.
00:36Callie-ho, Beaver, it's up to Blighty we go. To the Foxplane at once.
00:50your afterيرة Schnal the
00:51your after Aa
00:59a
01:01Co
01:03l
01:04in
01:05the
01:06repeat
01:11by
01:13mouths
01:17and
01:18all of my dreams are about to come true
01:31you are a lucky man norman i wish we could watch no sam foxman has to be serious
01:39at the comics it's hilarious sorry thanks sawyer writer producer narrator and for this special
01:47episode director it sure is great to see some british fans uh norman wally albion bugle i'm
01:53covering the shoot i was wondering if my police friends here could oh sure stick around uh you
01:59can enjoy the stunt and the craft services we've hired in some authentic local cuisine
02:03just like your mum makes thank you mr sir
02:06oh mr hyde i watch you every week oh then how about a picture anything for an english rose
02:21let's make this a whole lot better
02:25you just can't help yourself can you
02:33we're supposed to be best friends
02:37a thousand apologies never again will i entrust my life into your we would have the sister
02:59foxman fans are we hello sam we're here on convent business it is a matter of the utmost importance
03:06will someone get me out of this contraption
03:12oh no sir look sergeant livingston as you missed breakfast you may help yourselves
03:24oh um actually no we've we've already eaten but i've made a fox cake you didn't use actual fox did
03:33you i never reveal my ingredients you brits you know you really do have the most captivating look
03:41do i oh really what about my look ah i can't thank you enough for sharing your home with us my lord
03:50my dear father was a fan no he'd be very proud
03:52i'm a mother uh lord said we're aware at your earliest convenience
03:58of course
04:00of course
04:07camilla cassimo icon
04:09glamour
04:11buss
04:11goddess of the silver screen
04:14you're probably wondering why I've lowered myself to this because you're
04:19broke no one else will hire you says the man who is typecast as a fox well I
04:27sure love having you as a special guest villain we all know why that is don't
04:32me darling aren't you just this waste of skin is Jane she's my stunt double in
04:55general dogs body let's get set up for the first scene gentlemen what can I do
05:17for you we have received information that a nefarious villain ass intends to steal
05:23the Darlington Ruby she's known as the minx cat burglar who will stop at
05:31nothing to get her claws into some of the most precious jewels in the world
05:37how utterly bizarre perhaps you can tell me more over tea could you inform my
05:43butler I must confess to finding an excuse for us to be alone then you felt it too
05:55an attraction so irresistible so electric
06:01I can't I can't I'm sorry I just can't
06:11Camilla dear I need the romance well then I'll do it with a look I do have standards
06:17well the minx doesn't whoa whoa hang on a second Jane darling Siggy now if it were
06:24being played by someone more foxy like him I wouldn't even have to act
06:29Camilla I'm not sure this is a good idea I have just taken a call from my asthma
06:37boohoo just go and rehearse the stunt you insufferable worm I have had enough of this
06:44who is this old penguin now just a minute steady on I am no more a penguin
06:52then your sister is a worm you are nothing but a diva a puffed-up preening
06:58egomaniac has been
07:04Camilla Camilla
07:14yes it's Inspector Gillespie Sam just wanted to check you're all right oh please come in you must think I'm pathetic no not at all you must be very strong to tolerate that sister of yours
07:34between you and I I have an escape plan I've been taking acting lessons oh yes I
07:43mean Camilla can never find out but maybe in a few years time if things work out I
07:50could leave her well maybe you don't need to wait that long
07:55darling oh hello darling I've been beastly can you ever forgive me I know you don't mean it
08:16I'll leave you both to it thank you for taking care of my sister maybe later I could take care of you too I don't think so goodbye Jane
08:31to what do I have truth is in dire need of repairs a complete refurbishment is needed
08:42oh sounds expensive Lord Sedgwick you are the new landlord it is your responsibility
08:51which I cherish just as much as my father did he so loved the nuns and you of course and I of him
08:58God rest his soul but on true new he left me in a bit of a pickle heaving debts and bad investments
09:06Lord Sedgwick St Vincent's is a house of God these repairs are urgent then this Foxman fee has come
09:15at precisely the right time when filming is complete the rather sizable sum will be all yours
09:20thank you Lord Sedgwick my pleasure it's it's what father would have wanted
09:45catch me if you can Foxman and cut just swell Camilla after lunch when we have everything
09:59secure Jane will escape out this window thwarting our heroic duo you're quite sure this is safe yes
10:06it looks very dangerous it'll be triple checked even so you're really brave Jane fearless I'd say
10:15except that I'm doing this one what she's made up her mind the penguin was right I was a diva
10:23earlier mea culpa so I'm not putting Jane through the stress of it all you don't want her getting all
10:29the glory I can't let you do it you're our star you said yourself it's infallible besides with
10:36me you'll get a better performance think of the close-ups if you insist all right everybody
10:45that's lunch and then it's time to make some magic ah there you are a word if I may oh lordy with
10:55pleasure see you all later oh wally yes miss cut him oh I have a little exclusive for you
11:07I see you have multiple cameras in place yes sister this way I can capture all the angles I need
11:23in one take how fascinating thank you for earlier Sam you're welcome Jane I'm not so sure about this
11:33you'll be fine I promise if I so much as break a nail I'll have your guts for garters perhaps you
11:41were right about leaving why wait all right everyone for take and action the ruby is within my grasp
11:55farewell my furry friends will our heroes ever catch up with this dastardly minx
12:03holy minx on a rope fox man nothing can stop me now
12:11what a way to go immortalized on film although not quite in the way she'd have hoped for
12:37well let's keep this under wraps for now button talk to Norman and we're going to need the footage
12:42from those cameras sorry sister
12:45frayed ends well I think it's safe to assume this was sabotage but who'd want to kill such a
12:54lovely person but the rope it was checked right after Camilla said yes to the stunt well given the
13:01position of the break it must have been damaged up there therefore whoever was in this room in the
13:09lunch break could well be our killer
13:11the most curious
13:19these abrasions are new but what caused them and who
13:32shouldn't we consider the person I was supposed to do the stunt in the first place
13:37it should have been me I should have insisted on doing it why did Camilla decide to do the stunt
13:46I told her about my acting lessons after we talked and I think bizarre as it may sound she felt threatened
13:58she was somewhat irrational do you know of anyone who might have wanted to kill your sister
14:06not kill her no and yourself all the time
14:13she was my sister
14:17was my sister
14:20I loved her I did
14:23our mother forced her to be a star
14:27I was the one who was able to have a childhood
14:30and she Camilla was only like that because she was so damaged
14:35I can only hope that now she's at peace
14:39thank you Jane
14:43please can't you did this
14:47with sister Boniface on the case I have no doubt
14:50what a way for it all to end
14:53end?
14:54can't you just recast the minks?
14:56reshoot her scenes?
14:57the insurance won't pay out as it's not an accident
15:00and the studio aren't going to spend another dime on this episode
15:03they're furious
15:05you know the whole show is over
15:08just like my career
15:09if I might interject
15:13why not make some other episodes?
15:16somebody won't sign another contract
15:18wonder why that is
15:20according to the studio
15:22there is no Foxmen without Brett Hyde
15:25no more episodes
15:27son
15:28right
15:29yes
15:30we need to know where you all were over lunch
15:32someone here may well be responsible
15:35we've spoken to all of them now
15:40none of them have a convincing alibi
15:42what about the rope sister?
15:46well
15:46so far
15:47all I have is a
15:47a good smell of mint
15:50mint?
15:52no Peggy
15:52oh dear
15:55the precise location and quantity of the water is somewhat unpredictable
16:00so I see
16:01oh I'm sorry Sarge
16:04I thought you should see this sister
16:08found it in Camilla's room
16:10don't think you'd be able to read much
16:12looks like gum
16:15oh contraire Peggy dear
16:19behold
16:21Loretta the liquid nitrogen
16:23oh I also found what looked like props from the show in her suitcase
16:28oh and how peculiar
16:29well
16:39voila
16:39oh
16:45fish buns
16:46when is the roof being repaired?
16:48at this rate
16:50never
16:50Lord Sedgwick was relying on finishing the filming to fund the repairs
16:56Lord knows what we're going to do now
16:58was he really?
16:59I might have an idea then
17:02now what if we hear
17:04a memo
17:07from our director
17:09most illuminating
17:14yes it's true
17:17I wanted her gone
17:19she was a nightmare
17:21you saw that for yourself
17:23so
17:24this written warning had no effect?
17:26she didn't care
17:27so I complained to her agent
17:29turns out
17:30I was the only one
17:31stupid enough to employ her
17:32the studio refused to recast her
17:35so you took matters into your own hands
17:37you don't really think
17:39you're the one that gave Camilla permission to do the stunt
17:41this last episode
17:44would have taken us to the magic number for syndication
17:46the residuals would have been eye-watering
17:50I wouldn't risk that
17:52now everybody loses big
17:54sir unless
17:57sister
18:00yes
18:01well something struck me earlier
18:03all you need to continue with the filming is
18:06someone with acting aptitude
18:08who
18:08looks exactly like Camilla
18:11she's good isn't she
18:18Hank
18:21my sister has just plummeted to her
18:25death in front of my very eyes
18:28it has to be a no
18:30perhaps something good could come out of this tragedy
18:33the career you said you wanted
18:36but I could never
18:39out of respect for Camilla
18:42maybe this is a way to honour your sister
18:46how could I never hold my own with professional actors
18:49they'd be gentle
18:50as would I
18:52what if I was the intended target of the stunt
18:57unlikely
18:58the rope was compromised after Camilla announced
19:01I could be your personal bodyguard
19:03you would
19:03just one scene
19:06if you hate it we shut down production for good
19:10but if it works
19:11your sister's last role
19:13will be seen
19:14by the world
19:16now wouldn't that be
19:18a fitting tribute
19:20any last words my little beaver
19:28you won't get away with this
19:31I'm already half
19:33start the gas boys
19:35will the minx's killer gas wipe out our beloved beaver
19:39tune in after these messages to find out
19:43and cut
19:47Jane you were wonderful
19:50you really think so
19:51I will carry on
19:53but no stunts
19:55not a problem
19:56let's pick it up people
19:58and action
20:03take these
20:09holy anti-kill gas pills Foxman
20:19the minx is getting away
20:21we'll stop her
20:22and now we have the advantage
20:25that will be her folly
20:28cut
20:29well can't help himself
20:33I wonder the show's ending
20:34hey
20:37sorry
20:38holy fuck suspect sister
20:46the abrasions on the chaise long
20:53I take it that you sat down there at lunchtime without your tail
20:57guilty as charged
20:59but I
21:02but I couldn't
21:04the sister mentioned
21:06Camilla was giving
21:07something to the press
21:09about you
21:09something juicy
21:10I went up there
21:13to beg her to keep quiet about
21:15during our scene
21:18earlier
21:18Camilla felt this
21:21well yes it is nothing to be ashamed of when your costume is so fitted
21:34what's the point of staying in shape when it's all ending anyway
21:37so she was gonna humiliate you
21:40yes
21:41but I would never kill for that
21:44you gotta believe me
21:47where is the real lady Darlington
21:51where you'll never
21:53where you'll never find her
21:55and don't think that just because
21:57I find you extremely attractive
22:00and I won't kill you
22:06I can't do this
22:09no you're doing really well
22:10just feels
22:12it feels wrong to benefit from her demise
22:15added to which I feel
22:18relieved
22:20she can't hurt me anymore
22:22but someone here might be out to get me
22:26I'll never let anyone hurt you
22:29well you're
22:31here I mean
22:32you make me feel so safe Sam
22:35and secure
22:38I don't know
22:41what I would
22:43the footage is back from the lab
22:57sir
22:58good man
23:00if you'll let
23:01excuse me
23:02getting on well with Jane I see
23:15huh
23:16I'm supporting a grieving woman
23:22and perhaps getting over Ruth
23:25shall we watch this thing
23:26oh yes indeed
23:27well most fortuitously
23:29we found some test footage
23:31of the window during the lunch break
23:33er Peggy lights please
23:34I know exactly who that is
23:47it's my property I'll allow to go where I please
23:54although you denied it earlier my lord
23:57yes well I thought it might look suspicious
24:00I merely went in to retrieve my precious possessions
24:03for what reason
24:05I knew that insufferable woman was going to be tramping through the room
24:08this morning she broke a lean vase in her bedroom and I confronted her
24:11she had the cheek to demand a replacement
24:13well I take you can claim it on insurance
24:15I'm ashamed to say it has lapsed
24:19a few liquidity problems
24:21speaking of which I have an appointment with my accountant
24:24so if you're quite finished
24:26Sam
24:27Hank says he's delighted with my performance
24:30you're a natural Jane
24:31I can't believe I'm getting away with it
24:33well done
24:34I'll see you both tomorrow
24:36Sam
24:37the thing is
24:38I don't think I can be on my own tonight
24:43well I suppose I could stand guard outside your room
24:48that really was rather wonderful
24:59well I've never had any complaints before
25:01you were sensational
25:04I don't know what came over me
25:07I wouldn't be doing any of this without you
25:13just remember me when you were a big Hollywood star
25:18I could never forget you, Sam
25:22round two
25:30I thought you'd never ask
25:32rise and shine everyone
25:42for the last day of Foxman
25:44ever
25:45I can't help
25:50now
25:52Rhett, Peggy, you've got someone you've got him
25:58all my life, Sarge
26:00I'm going to need you to tell me exactly what happened
26:07Sam was
26:10in my room
26:12when someone tried to open the door
26:15when he went out to see who it was
26:17I heard a thud
26:18by the time I got there
26:20he was
26:21you may well have been the target all along, Jane
26:28and Sam
26:30got in the way
26:32right, well
26:34I shall be your protection
26:36now
26:37thank you, Sargeant
26:38I just hope that Sam is going to be
26:47he will be
26:48and mark my word
26:51I will uncover
26:53whoever
26:53is responsible
26:55any word on the inspector
27:06stable
27:07unconscious
27:10as well as can be expected
27:14we should pre-forward him
27:17at Vespers
27:17thank you
27:19I hope you are progressing
27:26no joy with the substance on the rope
27:31but
27:32I have found a sticky residue on this crop
27:36which was used as the weapon
27:37which is
27:39glycerine
27:46glucose
27:47and
27:48rubber
27:48honeydew
27:49sticky
27:51sweet
27:51and
27:52stretchy
27:52oh
27:54bubblegum
27:56bubblegum
27:57mind the mellow from the show
28:01which went missing
28:03why would I
28:05hit him
28:05jealousy
28:08your bubblegum
28:09was on the memo
28:10found in Camilla's womb
28:11ah
28:12right
28:14you were
28:15intimate
28:16since the studio sessions
28:19at Elstree
28:20it ended yesterday
28:22when she met
28:23inspector Gillespie
28:24said she wasn't
28:25interested in boys anymore
28:26she wanted her
28:28real men
28:29well that must have hurt
28:31somewhat
28:31it did
28:33I had a thing
28:37for
28:37so you see
28:39I
28:40I could never
28:42kill her
28:43I doubt it's a coincidence
28:45that the man who stole her affections
28:47is now in hospital
28:47you had motive for the murder
28:50and the assault
28:50but you can't prove
28:53either
28:53sister
28:55sister
28:55I'm expecting you back at the sea view this evening inspector
29:03but there'll be no special treatment
29:05although
29:07I will allocate
29:09an additional sausage at breakfast
29:12if you'll only wake up
29:15Mrs. Clamp
29:19I must get back
29:21there's been no improvement
29:25sister
29:25he is going to be alright
29:29yes
29:29Peggy
29:30he has to be
29:32I don't know how much you like a lion
29:41that's enough now Sam
29:45there's a killer on the loose
29:49I can't do this alone
29:53I need my friend
29:56my best friend
29:59of course
30:02I have a theory
30:04I usually do
30:05don't I
30:06Brett
30:09he um
30:10he has multiple motives
30:12and um
30:13there's the
30:14the gum residue
30:15on the weapon
30:16but um
30:18gum
30:21oh the mint on the rim
30:24well
30:29looky here
30:31the glittering prize
30:33is all mine
30:35it's the end for you
30:38fox man
30:39but first
30:41it's you
30:51you
30:52what
30:54did you really believe
30:56that I was the lady of the manor
30:58then
30:58where is the real lady darlington
31:01where you will never find her
31:03and don't think
31:04that just because I find you
31:06extremely attractive
31:08I won't kill you
31:10thought as much
31:12beaver
31:14doxy
31:26bluesy
31:27siren
31:28get him
31:29holy
31:42Holy elusive cat burglar.
32:00She's done it again, Foxman.
32:02And cut.
32:06Were we really that bad?
32:08No, it's just that was our last ever fight scene.
32:12All thanks to Brett.
32:14You still don't get it, do you?
32:16It's all your fault.
32:19Well, I think you'll find he's the one not renewing his contract.
32:21Mr. North, we need to have a word.
32:25Any news on Sam?
32:28Yes, I have the hospital.
32:30They telephoned.
32:32He's showing signs of improvement.
32:33Thank you, Sergeant.
32:40Fudge, Breeze and Cream.
32:42Not a speck of gum of any kind, Leonard.
32:47Meat and tar.
32:49A confounding combination.
32:52What I really need is some kind of corporate reveal computer.
33:02The Fox Clue corporate reveal computer at your disposal, sister.
33:07Oh, thank you very much.
33:15Oh, how very groovy.
33:19You've got to remember, sister, that whilst you fight crime, it's important to have a little home.
33:24Oh, I don't understand.
33:31Oh, I don't understand.
33:36Observe the Fox Uzi.
33:38This dance.
33:40All you need, sister, is one little deductive push.
33:45Oh, bingo.
33:51How can I not see it, Leonard?
33:53It all fits.
33:54My actress for the last scene has come down with food poisoning.
34:00I don't suppose you're of the show business persuasion.
34:08Voila.
34:09Come with me.
34:10We rehearsed this, Mr. North.
34:27Perhaps, on occasion, I may have hugged the limelight.
34:33Too little too late, Walt.
34:35It's impossible.
34:47Where's Jane?
34:48I don't know.
34:49Why is she in danger?
34:50We need to go to the hospital.
34:52Now.
35:05Dear Sam, this is such a shame.
35:27Such a waste.
35:29Because you really are so very good-looking.
35:38We had fun.
35:40Didn't we, darling?
35:44But I'm afraid I just can't let you choke on breathing.
35:50Not when you know my little secret.
35:54Could you unlock the door, please?
36:03I don't know.
36:04What?
36:05The door must be jammed.
36:06I can't see.
36:07The door is locked.
36:08I assume you're back to finish what you started.
36:12Because Sam discovered the truth, didn't he?
36:14Everything all right, darling?
36:27Darling?
36:29Are you smoking there?
36:31Yes.
36:32I do, now and again.
36:37Can it be our little secret?
36:39But your asthma is so much better.
36:46That's not you, is it?
36:49Camilla?
36:52How ridiculous.
36:54No, I'd better be going.
36:56Don't be so ridiculous.
37:08I could never hurt Sam or anyone.
37:11Then open the door.
37:13I can't.
37:15I assume that you sabotaged the stunt after you met Walt in the attic,
37:20leaving traces of your mantle cigarettes on the road.
37:22This is fantasy.
37:28But why kill your sister?
37:30My theory is that Hank's complaint was the final straw.
37:35The call Jane mentioned, was it perhaps from your agent dropping you?
37:42That news must have been devastating.
37:44So with no-one to hire you, you decided to play a new role.
37:49To give your career one last chance.
37:53Playing Jane...
37:56..was the dreariest role I have ever had.
38:03Whatever evidence is needed, but I'm an exceptional actress.
38:06Yes, yes, but why did Jane agree to play you?
38:10I overheard her talking to Sam.
38:15So I made her a proposition.
38:17But you can't act.
38:19We know that for a fact.
38:21Well, perhaps I can if you would only let me.
38:24Maybe I can have a career.
38:26Now that yours is...
38:28over.
38:29Over?
38:30The call was from your agent.
38:34Severing all ties.
38:37He said that no-one would touch you now.
38:41Not even with a barge pole.
38:44I'm sorry.
38:44Sorry.
38:50Why don't we give you a little test?
38:56And if you pass, I'll let you go.
38:59And I'll give you enough money to get back on your feet.
39:03How does that sound, darling?
39:04That would be wonderful, dear sister.
39:07All you have to do is convince everyone when you're doing the stunt that you're me.
39:13Do you think you could do that, darling?
39:17Oh, I think that would be easy.
39:21She was going to leave me.
39:23She was going to trade on my face and my career.
39:28How dare she?
39:30Look.
39:30It's over.
39:31It's over.
39:32Just open the door.
39:34Give yourself up and the judge will be lenient.
39:36Oh, do you really think so?
39:38Yes.
39:39Yes.
39:40Camilla, you could turn things around.
39:42Oh, clap, drop.
39:43If I'm going down for one, I may as well go down for two.
39:47No!
39:47Time for my big finish.
39:54Wait, wait, wait, wait.
39:55I'll get the door.
39:57No!
39:59Quick!
40:00She's getting away.
40:01She's wearing swain.
40:04Hi!
40:05Hi!
40:06I'm arresting you for the murder of Jane Catamull.
40:11Oh, what's up?
40:13Sir!
40:14We did it.
40:15We saved the day.
40:17Yes.
40:18You're real heroes.
40:21She's right.
40:22We are the best.
40:23It's such a shame all this has to end.
40:26Well, if things could change.
40:30If we had them all equal footing.
40:32And equal billing.
40:33Oh, gee.
40:36Yeah.
40:38That's wonderful news.
40:40Can someone tell me how this story ends?
40:44If the Minx was playing Lady Darlington, then where's the real one?
40:53Can you hear that, Beaver?
41:08Oh, I thought you'd never find me.
41:11Oh, oh, oh!
41:14Thank goodness!
41:17You're alive!
41:18However, your precious ruby is nowhere to be seen.
41:24After your commissioner tipped me off, I took the liberty of having a copy made.
41:29Popped it in the safe.
41:30Ingenious.
41:31Then the last laugh is on the Minx.
41:34Time to return to the land of the free, Foxman.
41:39Fox playing, Beaver?
41:41Our fight against crying will never be over.
41:46And that concludes our great British tale.
41:49Until next time, Fox fans.
41:52And cut!
41:54That's a wrap, everyone.
41:56But only for now.
41:57Hey!
42:03Which is all down to me, actually.
42:05Oh, you!
42:06Oh, I can actually see the funny side in Foxman now.
42:10Oh, I'm glad, Sarge.
42:11What a perfect slice of silliness it is.
42:15Right.
42:16Shall we?
42:17Yes, Lord Sedgwick.
42:24The good news is I can now cover your repairs.
42:29I take it there is some bad news?
42:32My father's investments have taken a further tumble.
42:36It pains me to say this, but if things don't improve in the next few months,
42:41my only option is to...
42:43Not St. Vincent's.
42:44It would break my heart to sell the convent, but I may have no choice.
42:51My community would be broken up, scattered all over the country.
42:55I will fight with every fibre of my being to keep you in your rightful place.
43:00Thank you, Lord Sedgwick.
43:02I'm sure you'll do all you can.
43:07Oh, I would appreciate it if you would keep this eventuality to yourself.
43:13I wouldn't want to worry the sisters unnecessarily.
43:16Of course, Reverend Mother, you have my word.
43:18And, er...
43:20I'll pray for you.
43:24I have faith that everything is going to turn out just fine.
43:29Well, let's do...
43:43I have faith that everything is going to turn out with me.
43:47I have faith that everything is going to turn around.
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