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Dirty Laundry
Dirty Laundry (2022) S05E07
Dirty Laundry (2022) Season 5 Episode 7
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00:00There's some secrets we take to the grave, and others we plaster online for laughs.
00:04Oh, I knew it!
00:05That's a nice hat!
00:07Who raised you?
00:08The most damning accusation I've ever heard on this show.
00:11I'm your host, Lily Dew. Let's air some dirty laundry.
00:21With me today are some creators and comedians you should absolutely be following.
00:25A flute of champagne, Roz Hernandez.
00:27Woo!
00:27Yes, Roz!
00:29That's me!
00:30A guitar of champagne, Dulce Sloan.
00:33What's a guitar?
00:34A guitar?
00:35Of champagne?
00:37It's a play on words, because we just said flute.
00:39Oh, sustained!
00:40Yay!
00:41Saxophone, okay, I hear you.
00:43I'm real smart over here.
00:44Yes, that is the route we'll be going on.
00:45A trombone of champagne, Vinnie Thomas.
00:47Oh!
00:48Toot, toot!
00:49Toot, toot!
00:50And a harmonica of sparkling cider, Rachel Scanlon.
00:53Thank you for saying harmonica, that is the gayest instrument.
00:56Absolutely.
00:57Have you seen anyone wail on it?
00:59No, any predictions on what you'll learn about each other tonight?
01:03I'm pretty sure that Roz is going to have something that will blow my mullet right back.
01:08Yeah.
01:08You know?
01:09I think Roz did something dark and scary.
01:11Dulce?
01:11One of them straight.
01:12Oh, my goodness.
01:15Tonight, we're going back in the closet.
01:18All right.
01:19Here's how the game works.
01:20I have a stack of secrets about our guests, and they have to guess who each secret belongs
01:24to.
01:25If it's their own, they should make accusations to try and throw people off their trail.
01:29But we could have put in a secret about me or our bartender.
01:33Hey, Grant.
01:33What's today's special?
01:34Lily, today's special with alcohol is a Blue Lagoon, and our non-alcoholic cocktail is
01:39a cucumber mint agua fresca.
01:41Ooh, fresh.
01:42Here is how scoring works.
01:44You get one point for every time you guess correctly, but if it's your own secret and
01:48you fool, everyone, that is three points.
01:51Ooh.
01:52Sound good?
01:53Yes.
01:53What do we get if we win?
01:55Ooh, a real prize.
01:57What's that?
01:58You have.
01:59I swear I never lied to you.
02:01First secret.
02:02Who went to a hypnotist because they were addicted to Carl's Jr.?
02:06Whoa.
02:09The Carl's Jr. the fast food place.
02:12Yeah, not a man named Carl's Jr. that they can't go back to.
02:16Yeah, they weren't into Carl's Sr. They wanted the sun.
02:19Where we're from is Hardee's, so I don't know if it's Carl's man.
02:22Okay, so that narrows it down because where you guys are from is Hardee's.
02:26Where I'm from, it's the Green Burrito.
02:28I'm sorry, where are you from?
02:30I'm from Colorado, and they recently changed the Carl's Jr.'s to the Green Burrito.
02:33No, they just added Green Burrito.
02:34It's two businesses in one.
02:35That's what I thought.
02:36Is Carl's Jr. the Green Burrito?
02:37Yes!
02:38That's fucked up.
02:39Because it's like an A&W and a Long John Silver situation.
02:42Or like a Taco Bell.
02:43Yeah, Pizza Hut Taco Bell, all of that.
02:45And your excuse.
02:47Listen.
02:47It's yours.
02:48Listen, before, I don't want everyone yelling at me already.
02:52It was Rachel.
02:53Just because I was seemingly heavily influenced by those commercials, you know what I'm talking about?
02:58They were sexy.
02:59They were sexy.
03:00There was a woman in a bikini on a car for the burger.
03:03However, I am, as we all know, the healthiest person in America, so I don't need to be hypnotized to do that.
03:12Wait, so they went to a hypnotist?
03:14They went to a hypnotist because they were addicted to Carl's Jr.
03:17They were like, I can't get over this.
03:19I need professional.
03:21I know it's Vinny because I feel like you're somebody who would absolutely believe a hypnotist for a solution.
03:29No, it's you.
03:30Ooh.
03:30Ooh.
03:31No, I'm with you.
03:32It's Rachel.
03:33Me?
03:33You stuttered so hard.
03:34It's Rachel.
03:35Never commit crime.
03:36Yeah.
03:36Never commit crime.
03:38You started talking a lot, which is...
03:40Friend, you started talking a lot when nobody was talking to you.
03:42Also, no one whistle.
03:43It might be an issue for Rachel because we don't know what your triggers are.
03:46It could be a whistle.
03:47Act like a chicken on the set.
03:50It could be anything.
03:51Someone else will have the clickers for the puppies when you train them.
03:53It just leaves the negative trigger after they cure your Carl's Jr.
03:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:57There's always a trigger.
03:58It's like, you see Carl's Jr. and now you're nauseous.
04:01How's your stomach feel?
04:01You see what I'm saying?
04:02There has to be a thing that's going to keep you out of doing it.
04:05Tulsi knows a lot about hypnotism.
04:06Yeah, this is what you can say.
04:08I used to do a lot of NACAs, and you meet a lot of hypnotists.
04:11There are a lot of specifically...
04:12Oh, that's so real.
04:13This is a conference where you try to get booked as a comedian.
04:15Psychologist, and listen, I learned that there is a difference between a magician and a mentalist.
04:20Do not confuse them.
04:21They get very upset.
04:22They don't like that.
04:23Don't deadname a mentalist.
04:24No.
04:24Yes.
04:25All right, let's get our guesses in.
04:26Who went to a hypnotist because they were addicted to Carl's Jr.?
04:29Roz, who's your guess?
04:30Rachel.
04:31Oh, my God.
04:31Tulsi.
04:32Rachel.
04:33Vinny.
04:33I'm torn, but I'm going to say Rachel.
04:35Rachel.
04:35I think Vinny.
04:36Will the person who went to a hypnotist because they were addicted to Carl's Jr.
04:39please take a sip of their drink?
04:41So you said it was three points?
04:46Well, well, well, well, well.
04:49Oh, that's fun.
04:50Only.
04:51Oh, I love this.
04:52This is the game I'm playing.
04:53Oh, never been to a Carl's Jr.
04:56Only No Dardies.
04:56Carl's, dude, Carl's, what?
04:58So what did you get when you were there?
04:59So when they started doing Beyond Burgers.
05:04Ah, yes.
05:05Wow.
05:06I don't eat meat.
05:07And so I got very excited about having this option.
05:10And I was, it was bad for me.
05:13So I go, I want to do this group up for this hypnosis.
05:17So I get to the place and the lady's like, so what's like a problem you have?
05:20And I was like, I keep eating Carl's Jr. every day.
05:24And I'm like, I probably shouldn't.
05:25And so then she like sets up the machine and then she's like trying to make me.
05:29There's a machine?
05:30I have that question as well.
05:31There's a contraption.
05:32I thought it was supposed to be a watch or something.
05:34What do you mean?
05:34They don't have, they don't, they don't have a machine?
05:36No, she was firing up a doohickey, a contraption.
05:39She was doing coal in a steam engine.
05:41She put me in a full, she put me in stirrups and like, no.
05:45Uh-oh.
05:45Uh-oh.
05:46Oh, you went to a gynecologist.
05:49No, she did some, some lights or some shit.
05:51I don't know what it was.
05:52But she said, picture the grossest type of food you can ever imagine.
05:57And like, it's rotting and there's like, whatever.
05:59And then put it over the, the Beyond Burger in your head, whatever.
06:04So I did it.
06:05I did my thing.
06:06Now I can say I had hypnosis.
06:08I left the place, went right to Carl's Jr.
06:10Oh my goodness.
06:12Because I wanted to see if it worked.
06:13It didn't even work for a second?
06:15Not even for a second.
06:16All right.
06:16That is three points to Roz.
06:19Fuck.
06:19Good job.
06:20Can I just say, very sad, they've gotten rid of the Beyond Burger at Carl's Jr.
06:24I used to eat it all the time too.
06:26Yeah.
06:26I used to do Burger Fridays.
06:28Watson's doing burgers Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.
06:32All right.
06:32Next secret.
06:33Who stole something from their frenemies' backpack?
06:37Frenemies is such a specific word.
06:38It's a thing.
06:40They stole something.
06:41Because you think I use the word frenemy?
06:43I think you have friends with backpacks.
06:45I don't have friends with backpacks.
06:46That's a great point.
06:47Who on earth would have a friend with a backpack?
06:49High schoolers?
06:50I don't have any friends.
06:50Who would have friends with a backpack?
06:52That's so mean because of straps.
06:52Rachel looks like she hikes every day.
06:55That's fanny pack.
06:56Don't do that.
06:57That mullet says nice fanny pack all day.
07:00You see that leopard print?
07:02Come on now.
07:03I think it was Rachel.
07:04Who had frenemies in high school?
07:06I didn't have anything.
07:09I didn't have friends or frenemies.
07:11That's crazy.
07:12Just getting through.
07:14I recently had to tell someone we weren't friends.
07:15We were co-workers.
07:16And man, you will break somebody's heart saying that.
07:18Rachel, frenemies.
07:20I don't think I've been a frenemy type because I've been in love with all of my friends for as long as I can remember.
07:26So honestly, a fr-lover.
07:28All of my friends were lovers.
07:30Really rolls off the tongue.
07:31Fr-lover.
07:32Why do we not have a better word for this?
07:34All right, let's get our guesses in.
07:35Who stole something from their frenemies backpack?
07:39Rachel, guess first.
07:40My guess is Vinny.
07:41Vinny, who's your guess?
07:42My guess is Dulce, just because she was really quiet this round, or I think more quiet than she was last round.
07:46Well, she was not quiet.
07:48I'm not quiet.
07:49Let's relax.
07:50I think comparatively quiet.
07:51Dulce, who's your guess?
07:52It was Roz.
07:52It was Roz.
07:52It was Roz.
07:53It was Roz.
07:53Roz.
07:53Roz.
07:54Roz.
07:54Roz, who's your guess?
07:56I believe that it was Vinny.
07:59Okay.
08:00Because I believe that Vinny had a roller backpack.
08:04No!
08:05The worst accusation.
08:08Yeah, I said it.
08:09Roz, no.
08:11That is so crazy.
08:13Roz and I think he rolled up on somebody, and he snatched something out of their bag, and
08:20then he had a backpack in elementary school.
08:21You think he came up with the brakes on his backpack, took somebody else's stuff, and rolled
08:25off the hill?
08:26The most damning accusation I've ever heard on this show.
08:29All right, will the person who stole something from their frenemies backpack, please take a
08:34sip of their drink.
08:35Ta-da!
08:39Ta-da!
08:40Ta-da!
08:41Well, well, well.
08:42Holy shit.
08:43So there was this cow I used to go to school with.
08:46You said cow?
08:47Cow.
08:48Mm-hmm.
08:48Okay.
08:49Heifer Academy.
08:50She had a poster of a rapper from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony in her backpack.
08:54And we both love Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.
08:56And this heifer kept running around, and she came to school specifically to show me that
09:01she had got it.
09:02I got the Source magazine, and da-da-da-da-da.
09:03And so I was like, cool, cool, cool, and we were in P.E., and so everyone went and got
09:08dressed, and then everybody left.
09:09But there was like P.E., there was like 50 of us.
09:11And I'd go on her backpack, I'd take it out of her backpack, and she didn't notice until
09:15like days later, but it was already on my wall.
09:19Legit.
09:20And then did she know it was you?
09:21It went straight to you?
09:22Of course not.
09:23A perfect crime.
09:24But she was just doing so much, she's like, oh my God.
09:25She's like, and I know you can't get it, and so it was this whole production of showing
09:29me, especially, and everybody, this poster.
09:30And I was like, also, it's a magazine.
09:33He didn't sign it, you goofy bitch.
09:35Like, he just, it was a magazine.
09:36Okay, it's a poster, it's like a poster.
09:37It's just a picture out of a magazine.
09:39You're so mad at this girl, and it's just because she got a poster?
09:42It's not because she got a poster, it's that she found the need specifically to come find
09:46me.
09:47Oh.
09:47It's because she was walking around shoving, like, look what I have.
09:50It was very much like a, look what I got, look what I got, look what I got.
09:53And I was like, this is a very attainable thing to get.
09:55It was in a magazine.
09:56Millions of people have this thing.
09:57But she made a point to show me, and I was like, okay, well, now you don't.
10:01And what was her reaction when she realized it was missing?
10:03Was she like, oh no.
10:05Well, it was like a couple days later, and she was just like, I think somebody went in
10:08my backpack and took this picture.
10:09I said, girl, who would go with somebody's backpack to take a picture of flesh crazy?
10:12Oh, so you guys, you've been playing this game for a long time.
10:15Yeah, I was like, girl, who would do that?
10:17She's like, I mean, I don't understand.
10:18I was like, girl, but you know, it's P.E.
10:19People stuff go missing all the time.
10:21That is a heist.
10:22All right, that is one point to Vinny.
10:24Good job.
10:25Oh.
10:26Next secret.
10:28Who made a kid cry during trivia?
10:30Yeah.
10:30So you mean like a trivia at like a bar?
10:33There's a kid at a bar.
10:34Who's making kids cry?
10:35Because there's this competitiveness to Roz, you can tell with this top pony.
10:40A half pony means business.
10:41I think it's something about the way Roz creates such a sharp cat eye that indicates that she-
10:47That they would cut you down.
10:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:50Yeah.
10:50Plus, Roz almost made you cry with that backpack thing, and that's pretty close.
10:52That was devastating and accurate and powerful.
10:55Ooh, not accurate.
10:56I heard accurate because I had a lot of shit in my bag.
10:59I had books and stuff.
11:00Yeah.
11:00And scoliosis.
11:02Yeah.
11:03I had a spine that went like this.
11:04Dang, we are coming hard for Vinny, and we haven't even figured out who made a kid cry.
11:10It was Roz.
11:10It was Roz.
11:11For sure.
11:12I could host a trivia.
11:13See?
11:13I could do that.
11:14I've been once, and I was like, man, I am too black for all of these questions.
11:18I had no idea what was happening 95% of the time.
11:22I was like, what show?
11:22Never seen it.
11:24What band?
11:25There's too many bands.
11:26I feel it.
11:26Oh, you've got to go to the right theme.
11:27Okay, because man-
11:28It's like Gilmore Girls Trivia.
11:29Yeah, you've got to go to-
11:30You think I'll watch that?
11:31You've got to go to Gilmore Girls Trivia.
11:32I didn't say you had to go to that one.
11:34That's why I don't go for the stuff like that.
11:36You can't go to Bone Thugs and Harmony Trivia Night.
11:39Girl, then I've got to go to-
11:39Definitely go to Cleveland.
11:41Then I have to go to Cleveland.
11:42If I were to go to a trivia night, it would be one that kids were at, because that's about
11:47the level that I would want to be at.
11:49Rachel's going to, are you smarter than a fifth grader?
11:51Yes.
11:51Smarter than a fifth grader.
11:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:52I know exactly who it is.
11:54Oh my God, I know who it is.
11:55Okay, let's get our guesses in.
11:56Let's get our guesses in.
11:57Keep it to yourself.
11:59Who made a kid cry during trivia?
12:02Vinny, who do you think?
12:02Oh, it's Roz.
12:03Dulce, who do you think?
12:04Rachel.
12:05Rachel, who do you think?
12:08I think Roz.
12:09I think Roz.
12:10Roz, who do you think?
12:12Vinny Rollerback Pack Thomas.
12:15Drag him, all right.
12:18Will the person who made a kid cry during trivia please take a sip of their drink?
12:30No, this was when I was a child, and so the other people competing were also children.
12:33Got it.
12:34I went to the museum with my brother.
12:36We were at the museum, we were walking around, we go to the earth sciences area.
12:40And one of the little earth sciences people, the docents or whatever, they're like, we're
12:44doing a fun little trivia competition.
12:46The winner gets lava rocks.
12:48And so I was locked in.
12:50I was like, rocks from where?
12:51Like, I want those rocks.
12:53And I know like a lot about dinosaurs and stuff.
12:55So I was like, okay, we're going to do this.
12:56I was like, I told my brother to just push the button because he doesn't know shit.
12:59And I was like, I'm just going to answer the questions.
13:01You hit the button.
13:01And we went up there, and they selected me and my brother and then two other random kids.
13:07And they asked a question that was like, which word is the study of dinosaur fossils?
13:12Is it paleontology or archaeology?
13:14Oh, no.
13:15And the other team hits their button, and one of the kids goes, archaeology.
13:19Idiot.
13:20It's not.
13:20And so then my brother hits his button, and I said, paleontology.
13:24And then I looked over at the other team, and I said, archaeology is the study of human
13:29remains, and you should know that by now.
13:32Oh, so you were getting shady at the museum.
13:34I was really bad.
13:36And then one of the other kids teared up.
13:38Oh!
13:39And then afterwards, they gave everyone lava rocks because they felt bad for the other
13:46kids.
13:47Those should have all been your lava rocks.
13:49That's what I said.
13:50I turned to my brother, and I was like, yeah, I was like, why are they getting lava rocks?
13:53That's wrong with this new generation.
13:54They cry and get lava rocks.
13:56Everybody gets a trophy.
13:57Everybody gets a lava rock.
13:59Everybody gets a rock.
14:00How old were the other kids?
14:02Were they comparably aged to you?
14:03I think I was like six or seven, and they were a little older.
14:08Okay.
14:08That can feel bad.
14:09So they should have known.
14:10They should have known.
14:11I think it's crazy.
14:12You were a nerd and a bully nerd.
14:14I dare you.
14:15All right.
14:16That is one point to Roz.
14:18Imagine you're at a school, and the bully who's a nerd also has a roller bag.
14:22You have to stop.
14:23Next secret.
14:26Who had a snotty makeout?
14:30Ew.
14:31So like someone was sick?
14:33We're talking boogies.
14:34So a little extra flavor.
14:35Yeah.
14:36Who has issues with like rhinitis or like postnatal drip?
14:39My nose is always dripping a little.
14:40Mine's always natal drip.
14:42Postnatal drip.
14:43Right after birth drip.
14:44He just did the paleontology.
14:49He just did it to me.
14:50Who should know that by now?
14:51He did it to me, and I'm going to cry now.
14:53I did just have a baby, and now I can't stop dripping.
14:55Mine's always running a little.
14:57And then you have to kiss, but your nose can't stop running.
14:59Yeah, you have to kiss.
15:00This is just nasty.
15:01You wouldn't.
15:02If the hottest person in your life needs to kiss you right now,
15:06and their nose is running, your nose is running,
15:09you wouldn't kiss them?
15:10I could just, we ain't making out.
15:13But you would do it.
15:14I told you it's, and then we're done.
15:17I was raised by a germaphobe.
15:18You see what I'm saying?
15:19I can't, girl, eh.
15:21Their nose drip on me.
15:22I'm a Christian.
15:23Sir, now.
15:24What about y'all?
15:25How desperate are you to make out?
15:26Super desperate.
15:27I'm not desperate at all.
15:28Super duper.
15:29I would do it, anyone.
15:31I don't care.
15:31Yeah.
15:32Yeah.
15:32Have you hooked up with someone while you're sick?
15:34They're sick?
15:35Yeah, I feel like, here's the thing,
15:37and I don't want to seem like,
15:38I don't want to gross out anyone here,
15:39but any fluids I'm kind of fine with.
15:41I'm kind of down for all of them.
15:43It can't be any.
15:44Now, I've had sex while I was sick
15:45because that helps the immune system.
15:47Oh, my God.
15:48They say an orgasm can clear up your sinuses.
15:50True.
15:51When Rachel says they,
15:52she means doctors who have been arrested.
15:54Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
15:55Or doctors who fuck.
15:59Which one of you freaks is into snot play?
16:03Right.
16:03What's that called?
16:04Like a phlegmy.
16:05I bet you they're called like a phlegmy.
16:07That's a phlegmy.
16:08A phlegmy.
16:08Let's get our guesses in.
16:10Who had a snotty makeout?
16:13Rachel, who do you think?
16:14I still think Vinny,
16:15and I feel like I've only guessed Vinny.
16:16You really have only guessed Vinny.
16:17But it's just something, I see it.
16:19I just see it.
16:20That's really fucked up.
16:21Roz, who do you think?
16:22Well, it's Rachel.
16:24Dulce?
16:25Grant.
16:25He is snotty and kinky.
16:28I'm not that snotty.
16:31This is a Venn diagram.
16:32We don't want to be a part of it.
16:33I would say Grant.
16:34Grant is in the streets.
16:35Will the person who had a snotty makeout
16:37please take a sip of their drink?
16:45Oh my God.
16:48You finally glisten.
16:49Yes.
16:50If you shoot at the same target enough times,
16:52eventually you'll hit a bullseye.
16:54That felt authentic to me that it was you.
16:57Tell us the story.
16:59Okay.
16:59Lock in, ladies.
17:01No, I want to be outside.
17:03I was going out with this guy.
17:04This was like, I don't know,
17:05our third or fourth date.
17:07He was really sweet, really cute guy.
17:10But the day before we were supposed to go out on that night,
17:13I was sneezing a lot.
17:15And that doesn't happen to me a lot.
17:16I figured it was maybe just allergies.
17:18So I texted him and I was like,
17:19hey, just to let you know,
17:20I'm sneezing a little bit.
17:22It might just be allergies.
17:23I'm not sure.
17:24But if you want to skip, that's totally fine.
17:26He was like, no, let's go.
17:27Let's hang out.
17:28Let's go on a date.
17:28So he was into the snot.
17:30Lock in, run.
17:32And we go to this place
17:34and they're having like some sort of special
17:35because surprise, it's Valentine's Day.
17:37I'd completely forgotten.
17:39And they were having like a $60 three course.
17:41So we're at this fancy place.
17:43But by the time I got there,
17:45I've never had a runny nose like this ever in my life.
17:47Like it was dripping.
17:49And I'm constantly just wiping it with a napkin.
17:50Was it COVID?
17:51No, it wasn't COVID.
17:52I took a COVID test afterwards.
17:54It definitely wasn't COVID.
17:55Afterwards.
17:56Not before, not during.
17:58It was dripping.
17:59And I was like, at that moment,
18:00I was like, I absolutely have to go.
18:02You know what I mean?
18:03I have to leave.
18:04This was after like the first or second course.
18:05I was like, I can't stay here.
18:06First or second.
18:07Because you couldn't taste it
18:08because your nose was full.
18:09The food was good.
18:10And so then I try to stand up
18:12and my joints are like super painful.
18:15It hurts a lot.
18:16And I'm like, I'm so sorry.
18:17Can you drive me back home?
18:18And he was like, sure.
18:19Sounds like cool.
18:19He drives me back home.
18:20And before I go back into my apartment,
18:22he's like, do you want to kiss?
18:25And I was like, I don't think you want to kiss me.
18:29I'm like, there's stuff happening here.
18:31And he starts to say something.
18:32He goes, never mind.
18:34It's gross.
18:37And I said, what?
18:39What is it?
18:39Just say it.
18:40And he goes, I'm going to slurp it all up.
18:46I got to go.
18:48I got to go.
18:49We didn't tell you.
18:49Like as a joke.
18:51Right, right, right.
18:51And he was cute.
18:53Yeah, he was pretty cute.
18:53You have to be.
18:54An ugly man can't get away with this.
18:57You sent an ugly man home.
18:58That's true.
18:59It wasn't a joke
18:59because then it sounds like that happened.
19:01Yeah, because then.
19:02Yeah, it happened.
19:03And he did get sick.
19:05Oh my.
19:06You were contagious in a public space.
19:08Did you see him more after that?
19:10No, I saw him one more time
19:11and then we just kind of fizzled out a little bit.
19:13Yeah, just whenever you're sick.
19:13Very nice guy though.
19:14Yeah, whenever I'm sick, he calls me.
19:16Were you guys equally sick from that?
19:18Or did he get way more sick?
19:18No, he barely got sick.
19:20No, no.
19:20He's sick.
19:21He has the worst kind of sickness in the head.
19:24Do you guys love that?
19:26No.
19:26All right.
19:27You love that story.
19:28Yeah, I love that story.
19:28I think it's a love story.
19:29I love that Rachel got one point.
19:31Thank you so much.
19:32I feel good about it.
19:33Yay!
19:34That's it for round one.
19:35We are going to take a quick break.
19:37But in the meantime, hey Grant, what are we drinking?
19:41Today's cocktail is a Blue Lagoon.
19:44I've never had a Blue Lagoon.
19:46I don't know what it's going to taste like,
19:47but I figured it'd be a cool thing to taste a cocktail with you for the first time.
19:52You know, we've been doing this five seasons now where we've had a chance to get to know each other.
19:57I feel like we could maybe take the next step.
19:59I'm going to start with one ounce of vodka.
20:02Next thing, we're going to add an ounce of Blue Curacao,
20:04which is a liqueur from the Curacao Islands, flavor of oranges, lots of citrus.
20:10Next, we're going to add some lemonade.
20:11Four ounces of lemonade.
20:13This is going to get served in a hurricane glass with some crushed ice.
20:17Now, assuming you don't have crushed ice available in your house,
20:20you can use your blender.
20:22You can get what I have, which is a tool called a Lewis bag,
20:25which is a bag that you put ice in.
20:28But if you don't want to do any of that,
20:29you can get a clean tea towel and something to bang with.
20:33I'll ice my shaker and shake the heck out of this.
20:42Look at that.
20:45I'm going to garnish this with a lemon wheel and one cherry.
20:50And now, together, we're going to taste the Blue Lagoon for the first time.
20:57Thank you for trusting me with this.
21:05Yeah, that's okay.
21:09Vodka and lemonade.
21:10What do you want?
21:10And we're back.
21:15Let's recap the scores.
21:17We have Rachel with one point.
21:19Vinny with one point.
21:20I have no point.
21:21Dulce with zero points.
21:22Yeah.
21:23And Roz with four points.
21:25Wow, Roz.
21:26Wow.
21:26Incredible.
21:27Would you like me to share anybody?
21:29This is getting aggressive for no reason.
21:31Next secret.
21:32Whose mom outshined them at a dance party?
21:36Oh, who has a fun mom?
21:38You.
21:39Who has a fun mom?
21:41Roz?
21:41You were at a quince.
21:45You were at the quince.
21:46You were at the carne asada.
21:47Yeah, your mom came out with the tea.
21:49Yes, and you were like, yes.
21:51You were outside.
21:53You were outside.
21:54You were at the carnet asada.
21:54You were sitting up at the carne asada.
21:56Eating the impossible meat.
21:57Girl, you were outside being like, oh, there's so much beef here.
22:00I'm going to eat my Carl's Jr.
22:02Tell me like a little snippet about what their mom is like and what their relationship is.
22:05Let me tell you something.
22:07To be able to outshine me on the dance floor, not that woman.
22:12Dulce, a little about your mom.
22:14My mom is a nice lady.
22:15She's very tiny.
22:16She's very dangerous.
22:17But she's a nice, sweet lady.
22:18Okay.
22:19Okay.
22:20We don't need to know anything about dancing abilities.
22:22That's good.
22:22Your mom?
22:23My mom talks a lot and she doesn't drink.
22:26Oh, wow.
22:27Okay, that's a lot of energy I'm feeling that could be pent up.
22:30Oh, yeah.
22:31Rachel, your mother?
22:32My mom rocks and loves Jesus and has a false knee.
22:38My mom loves Jesus.
22:39Both her knees are real.
22:40My mom has a false knee, too.
22:41My mother has a true knee.
22:42Both knees are real.
22:42Okay.
22:43Whose mom outshined them at a dance party?
22:45Doesn't imply dancing.
22:47Could be an outfit.
22:48Singing.
22:49I wonder, though, if, like, Roz, if, like, the, what is the acorn doesn't fall far from
22:54the tree?
22:55Apple.
22:55Apple.
22:56Also is serving such beautiful.
22:59Is it only apple?
23:00No, it's not only apple.
23:01What?
23:01No, it's apples.
23:02The apple is the phrase.
23:05Got it.
23:05You know what I'm talking about.
23:06Yeah.
23:07What I'm trying to say is I bet Roz's mom is hot.
23:09Okay?
23:10Rachel wants to be my dad.
23:11Is your mom throwing ass at the meat party?
23:14What does that even mean?
23:15The carne asada.
23:16Hey, hey.
23:17Hey, edit that out.
23:19Edit that out.
23:20That's wild.
23:22That's insane.
23:22I didn't like that.
23:23That's insane.
23:24I like that.
23:24You accused her of going to the carne asada.
23:27Throwing ass at the meat party?
23:29Grant, what's your mama like?
23:31Oh, she's a terrible dancer.
23:33She's an Ohio nice mom, probably.
23:36Yeah.
23:36She brought a hot dish to something.
23:38She brought a hot dish, like a little casserole.
23:40I think outshined is a nice way to describe what happened.
23:42I think outshined, ultimately, they embarrassed you and they took the attention away from you
23:47and that's why you hate her.
23:47All right, let's find out whose mom outshined them at a dance party.
23:50Yo.
23:52Roz.
23:52Yo.
23:53Yo.
23:53Dulce.
23:54Rachel.
23:55Vinny.
23:55Lily.
23:56Jackieu.
23:57My mom is 67 years old.
23:58She's a Chinese immigrant.
23:59She's a narcissist.
24:00Wait, wait, wait.
24:00I didn't know all that shit.
24:01It's Rachel.
24:02Rachel, who's your guest?
24:05I think Dulce.
24:06Will the person whose mom outshined them at a dance party please take a sip of their drink?
24:13Yeah, there it is.
24:16What?
24:17What?
24:18I did it!
24:19You both did it.
24:21Yay!
24:21I didn't even have said my mom rocks.
24:23My mom rocks.
24:24You guys know queer line dancing that happens every Thursday?
24:28Stud country.
24:29Yeah, stud country.
24:30What happened?
24:31Stud country is where a bunch of queer people get together and they line dance.
24:34It's becoming very popular.
24:36And my mom was visiting town, so I thought it would be fun to show her where I have a bunch
24:41of friends in the community.
24:43Oh.
24:43Right?
24:44Where's your mom from?
24:45She's from Minnesota.
24:46Ah, you were screwed at the beginning.
24:47Go, go, go.
24:47Exactly, because my mom, which I forget, is very, very good at line dancing.
24:53All right.
24:53And when I thought that I would have my time to shine, my mom was picking up Butch's left
24:59and right.
25:00My mom left with, like, two, like, hot masks on her arm, just like the bell of the ball.
25:07People were, like, shoving me over to be like, whose mom is that?
25:11Like, they were, they didn't want nothing to do with me.
25:13Here I am thinking I'm going to be having the best time with my community.
25:16They were basically lifting my mom up on a chair, being like, we love you.
25:20Ah, no, no, no, no.
25:21Yeah, it was humiliating.
25:22And you knew she was good at line dancing.
25:24I thought at least I could, like, get along with, like, the dykes there.
25:28No.
25:28And your mom straight?
25:29Yes.
25:30Married to your dad?
25:31Yes.
25:31Is she still straight after that night?
25:33I don't even know anymore.
25:34She was getting really chummy with all those butches.
25:36Stud country gets warm and humid.
25:38At some point in the night, it feels like the Amazon jungle, it is almost insufferable.
25:43Like, my mother could not stay in there probably for more than five minutes before she'd be like, I'm fucking out.
25:47And everyone's an incredible dancer.
25:49Yes.
25:49It's a really intimidating place to be.
25:52And they'll do stuff, like, they'll give the instructions.
25:53They're like, okay, well, keep it simple.
25:55Turn around, touch your toes, shoot yourself in the leg, do a spin, jump up, go down limbo.
26:00It's so common.
26:00They're like, this is a thing called Hello, Doctor.
26:03It is 28 counts and go.
26:05Yeah, five, six, seven, eight.
26:06It's like, when was rehearsal?
26:07I saw one guy that I knew, and I went up to him and I said, would you just dance with me?
26:12Because my mom's crushing it, and I don't really know how to do this.
26:16This guy says, sure.
26:18I danced with him for most of the night, okay?
26:20Me, a lesbian, just dancing with this fun gay guy.
26:23Then at the end of the night, I realized that man was just being polite to me.
26:26I didn't actually know him.
26:27He was a very famous porn star, and I only recognized him from his work.
26:32Who?
26:32I feel better at getting it off my chest to such a nice, warm group of friends.
26:37I'm proud of you.
26:38Will you email me your mom's number so I could bang her?
26:41For sure.
26:42I'm straight and married with a child, but so is she.
26:45I'll hit that.
26:47Okay.
26:47All right, that is points to Dulce and Vinny.
26:51We did it.
26:52Good job, you guys.
26:53Wait, you guys are catching up.
26:54Yeah.
26:55Next secret.
26:56The game continues.
26:57Who cried three times during the Entourage movie?
27:02Gross.
27:03If it was two times, I would say Roz.
27:05But three times seems like someone else.
27:08I'm so happy that you think I have the ability to cry.
27:13Botox, baby.
27:15What's your favorite show on TV?
27:17I like Entourage.
27:20Okay.
27:21Turtle.
27:23Let's go, Turtle.
27:24Yeah, what are all four of their names?
27:26I think it's Grant.
27:27I have, in fact, never seen it.
27:29All of my, like, bro buddies love it, which is off-putting.
27:34And who's a crier?
27:35Who's a crier?
27:36Because y'all could be lying.
27:36I'm not.
27:37I'm a movie crier.
27:38I cry all the time.
27:40I'm a huge, weepy, weepy baby.
27:42You have a straight husband.
27:44Yeah.
27:44He watches probably Entourage.
27:47Have you seen Entourage?
27:48He watches the Miyazaki documentary and his Criterion collection.
27:52That's what the fuck I'm talking about.
27:53What's everyone's sign?
27:55Because I feel like this could help me get to the bottom of it.
27:56If I knew Virgo, you're a Virgo.
27:59Just the fact you asked, that makes me think it's you.
28:01Oh, all right, let's get our guesses in.
28:03Who cried three times during the Entourage movie?
28:07Rachel, who's your guess?
28:07Roz.
28:08I think that Roz has been acting like, is this their names?
28:13Is it Toidal?
28:14Yeah.
28:14Like, Vinny?
28:15I agree with Rachel that Roz has become Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors.
28:19And she keeps like, she's doing weird things with her mouth.
28:23She keeps going like this.
28:25Not Audrey.
28:26Yeah.
28:26She's like, I don't know.
28:27I've never seen anything like that.
28:29This doesn't seem more.
28:30Dulce, who do you think?
28:32Grant.
28:32Roz, who do you think?
28:34It was you.
28:34No, I've never seen it.
28:36Will the person who cried three times during the Entourage movie please take a sip of their drink?
28:43Ta-da.
28:43Ta-da.
28:46So the thing is, it really can be me or Grant.
28:49Wow.
28:50I knew it.
28:50Wow.
28:51You guessed it.
28:52I knew it.
28:53Straight husband.
28:54That's the only reason someone would watch that.
28:56So I didn't know.
28:57That's not.
28:57That's not why.
28:58Lily's a maniac.
29:00I don't think my husband's ever watched Entourage.
29:02Separately, I do think Entourage is like how I started flossing.
29:07What?
29:07What?
29:08And like brushing my teeth.
29:09I find it so boring to floss and brush my teeth.
29:12But if you kind of pair a habit with like something else, you can form a habit.
29:17So every night you had to watch the Entourage movie?
29:19I started watching Entourage and it's pretty watchable.
29:22And so you can just like kind of go through it.
29:24And I would bring it into the bathroom with me at night while I was flossing and brushing
29:27my teeth.
29:27And 30 days later, wouldn't you know it?
29:30I have a habit now.
29:31What a way to describe a show.
29:33It's super flossable.
29:35And then I watched the movie.
29:36I think in theaters.
29:37It came out during the movie pass days.
29:39Theater?
29:40Yeah.
29:40Yeah.
29:40Well, I had movie pass.
29:42You could watch anything.
29:43I remember.
29:44So I would go.
29:45In this movie, Kevin Dillon is the actor or Johnny Drama.
29:49That's Johnny Drama.
29:50And he's like, all his friends always make fun of him for being a bad actor and stuff.
29:54But then all of a sudden he gets the role of a lifetime and he like has his moment and
30:00he gets nominated for a Golden Globe.
30:02No way.
30:03You're so excited.
30:04And it's like nobody believed in him.
30:06Like an underdog.
30:08Yes.
30:08An underdog story.
30:09I'm crying.
30:10It happens again.
30:11I'm crying.
30:12Aw.
30:12Third time.
30:13I'm crying.
30:14I'm like, why is this Entourage movie making me cry?
30:18Also Ronda Rousey is in that movie.
30:20And I think Turtle dates her in it.
30:22So it's not just for straight men.
30:23It's also for the lesbian.
30:25You described flossing as boring.
30:27My teeth were falling apart.
30:29So I needed to build that habit.
30:30I hear you.
30:31Absolutely.
30:31I'm really proud of you for flossing and building that habit.
30:34Just watch a show while you do the things you don't like.
30:37And then it'll help.
30:38It's like literally science.
30:41It's paleontology.
30:42Yeah.
30:43It's paleontology.
30:43It's paleontology.
30:45That's a t-shirt.
30:46Secret.
30:47Who lost a TV job because of a mishap with their lips?
30:51Oh, that is, I keep guessing Rouse, but it's wildly.
30:55What is a mishap with your lips?
30:58It could be filler.
30:59It could be waxing.
31:00It could be downstairs lips.
31:02Oh.
31:04What kind of TV show was that?
31:05Yeah.
31:06It could be in some type of a situation from a bike.
31:09Horseback riding.
31:10Okay, everyone look to their camera one by one.
31:12I'm going to ask you to pucker up.
31:14Show me that mouth, Rouse.
31:15Show me that mouth.
31:16Whoa, Rouse.
31:17Show me that mouth.
31:18Oh, okay.
31:19Hey.
31:21Okay, that's hot.
31:25Ew.
31:26Don't say ew what I'm doing.
31:31That's what your mom was doing.
31:33These don't count as lips, even when they're together.
31:35Maybe that's the mishap.
31:36Maybe that's the mishap.
31:37I don't have lips.
31:38You guys know I don't have lips.
31:39We know, honey, but I wasn't going to say nothing.
31:41No, you guys know I kissed my wife, and I'm like, you're kissing just skin.
31:44Just your wife with those lips.
31:47You guys, I feel so bad for my wife.
31:49She has huge lips, and I have just two pieces of paper.
31:52But she loves your lips, okay?
31:54If her lips are big enough, she does.
31:56You don't need those lips.
31:57You have these lips.
32:01What do we think the TV job is?
32:02We're saying acting?
32:03It couldn't be writing?
32:04Commercial?
32:05Oh, see, it could be behind the camera.
32:07Rouse gets all kinds of fun treatments, like bee stings or something.
32:11Do you know what I mean?
32:11What is this treatment?
32:14What are you trying to say?
32:16Oh, this treatment is negative, apparently.
32:18But I feel like you'd be the one to go like, oh, there's a newfangled place that they put
32:22wasps on your mouth.
32:24Come on, fangled.
32:24They're newfangled.
32:25Wasps?
32:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:26They'll put something on there, and it'll do crazy stuff.
32:29Everyone's like, absolutely, I do it.
32:31I don't want to outrule downstairs lips, voiceover work, or any type.
32:36This could be anyone.
32:37I want to outrule downstairs lips.
32:39It's because you don't have me.
32:41Wow.
32:42It's true.
32:43All right, let's get our guesses in.
32:45Let's get our guesses in.
32:47Who lost a TV job because of a mishap with their lips?
32:50Roz.
32:51Vinny.
32:52We'll say.
32:52Grant.
32:53Oh, it's Roz.
32:54It's dual safe, for sure.
32:55Nobody stays more booked than this woman.
32:57Yeah, I do.
32:58We do one step.
32:58Look at God.
32:59Well, the person who lost a TV job because of a mishap with their lips, please take a sip
33:03of their drink.
33:07And there it is.
33:08I knew it.
33:10I knew it.
33:12Yum, yum, yum.
33:13I knew it was you.
33:13She just said you.
33:14Okay, now here's the thing.
33:15Yes, I have absolutely had injections in my lips, and I'm very honest about it.
33:22They're working.
33:23But this one day in particular, I had not gotten any injections whatsoever, and I ate a bowl
33:30of mangoes, and I had to shoot the next day, and I woke up, and I learned that I had
33:37just, that night, developed an allergy to mangoes.
33:44Now, I didn't know what it was.
33:46I just woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and my lips were swollen, but not in a pretty
33:50way.
33:50They were, like, chunky, like, all these different...
33:53What was the job?
33:54It's like Guy Fieri's reality show, and...
33:57What?
33:58I was playing Guy Fieri's stunt double.
34:01Yeah, and I had to straight-up video chat with the producers and be like, look, I'm not
34:07faking this.
34:08And they're like, listen, you've got lip injections.
34:11It's fine.
34:12You don't have to lie.
34:13And I was like, no, not this time.
34:15Was it a big job or a little job?
34:18It was pretty big.
34:18But, um, they did not believe me.
34:21So now I always have Benadryl, because actually, Benadryl does take care of it.
34:25Because I also ate some peach rings, and it happened again.
34:28I didn't know.
34:29Are they in the same family?
34:30They must be related in some way.
34:32Oh, you have to eat mango?
34:33I try not to, but it's...
34:36It's nature's candy.
34:37You need to go to the hypnotist.
34:39To not eat it.
34:39I know.
34:40But it's scary.
34:42It's like, all of a sudden, you can just have a problem like that.
34:45You can just develop an allergy in adulthood.
34:47That is a point to Vinny.
34:49Good job, Vinny.
34:50I'm proud.
34:52Next secret.
34:53Who wagered themselves in a poker game?
34:56Vinny.
34:58Wagered themselves?
34:59Who wagered themselves in a poker game?
35:01You seem like a man of danger.
35:04Out here taking risks.
35:06Out here being in a smoky situation.
35:08Right.
35:09Out here living your life.
35:10This is what I'm doing.
35:10I'm going to old-timey Old West saloons.
35:13No, no, no, no.
35:14You can play poker anywhere.
35:15Oh, okay, sorry.
35:16I'm going to Las Vegas right after seeing Cirque du Soleil's O.
35:20That's right.
35:21Cirque du Soleil?
35:21Cirque du Soleil?
35:23Well, it's in the water.
35:24It's so good.
35:25I've never seen it.
35:26It's so good.
35:26You can't say it.
35:27You've got to go see O in Las Vegas.
35:29Lily cried three times.
35:30I cried.
35:32They filled the pool with Lily's tears.
35:34No, I actually, I've never even played poker.
35:36I don't know how to play poker.
35:37It's hard.
35:39I don't know how to play either.
35:41I'm good at poker.
35:42I bet you are.
35:42Okay.
35:43Okay.
35:43I love poker.
35:45Does the secret imply that if the person lost that they would give away their virginity or sex?
35:50What?
35:50Virginity?
35:51Virginity is crazy.
35:52I think it's, oh, I mean, or whatever.
35:54Themselves.
35:55They just wagered themselves in a poker game.
35:58Virginity is not the virginity.
36:00Like, give myself.
36:01Do you like gambling?
36:03Well, who would risk their virginity, I think, is what it comes down to.
36:05Stop.
36:05Virginity.
36:06Virginity is not the same.
36:07I don't know.
36:09What do you mean?
36:10So, they're saying, though, that they will have sex with whoever.
36:13Is that what this question is?
36:14Is this a sexual thing?
36:15I think it's sexy for sure.
36:16It sounds sexy.
36:18I bet it's a date.
36:18Well, it could be broke behavior.
36:20What if it's a show appearance?
36:21No, haven't you guys ever been on a date and you're playing a game of horse and you're like,
36:25if I make this shot, we do oral.
36:27Haven't you guys ever been on a date and you're playing a game of horse?
36:30Oh, you think I'm playing horse?
36:31That's so hot.
36:32Get a grip.
36:33What you just said is so hot.
36:35I've been thinking about it all night.
36:36Thank you so much.
36:37Grant is going to be at the adult basketball court trying to play horse with a bunch of other guys.
36:42I bet I can make it from over here.
36:45I don't even know how to spell horse.
36:47Grant, when was the last time you were in Vegas?
36:49Like three weeks ago.
36:50Let's find out who wagered themselves in a poker game.
36:53Rachel, who do you think wagered?
36:54I kind of think Roz.
36:57And only because I think you would be an incredible prize from the pot.
37:03Babe!
37:04Oh, this is so sweet!
37:05And do you think it was virginity?
37:06Yes.
37:07I almost just cried.
37:08I love the idea that it's Roz and then everyone else playing is like a business guy in a suit.
37:13Yeah.
37:13Ooh!
37:14That's hot.
37:15That's sexy.
37:15That's a movie.
37:16I've seen that video before.
37:17That's a movie.
37:18I'm all out of chips.
37:20What do I bet?
37:21Oh!
37:23Vinny.
37:23Yeah.
37:24I would say Grant because he strikes me as kind of a renaissance bisexual who plays a lot of poker.
37:29Dulce, who's your guess?
37:30Vinny.
37:31Roz.
37:32Grant.
37:33Will the person who wagered themselves in a poker game please take a sip of their drink?
37:41Oh, wow.
37:42Knock it off!
37:43Three!
37:43You're going to play poker!
37:46Three points.
37:47I wasn't blind.
37:48Is this how you lost your virginity?
37:49No!
37:51I'm obsessed with the fact that you said virginity can begin.
37:57Tell us that story then.
37:58Basically, I was at a gentleman's house who I had been spending time with because I needed
38:02to get my car fixed.
38:04And sometimes you got a 92 Pontiac with 284,000 miles on it that's leaking oil and transmission
38:09fluid and you start dating him again.
38:10My God.
38:11Yeah.
38:12But I stayed around because when I met him, he had a house and two cars.
38:15And he was 25 and I was 23.
38:17So my Southern upbringing said, trap his ass.
38:20The sex was always awful, but hey, my car stayed on the road.
38:22And so...
38:23Not a virgin.
38:23Got it.
38:24Not a virgin because I was 23 years old because I was cool in high school.
38:28And we had been hanging out for about like a year.
38:30And so he had this nice house, but he basically made his house into Dave & Buster.
38:34So he had like a pool table because he never would like really leave his house.
38:36So he had like a poker table downstairs.
38:39And so his friends would come over and they would play.
38:42And I'd just be there just hanging out, you know, oh, you want a beer or whatever.
38:46Just kind of generally just chilling.
38:47He had a best friend who was very beautiful, but very dumb.
38:51And one day his very dumb friend started flirting with me.
38:55And he made it very clear that he didn't want any type of relationship with me.
38:59He didn't seem to be bothered by it.
39:00So I was like, okay, well, whoever wins the next hand takes me on a date.
39:05And his friend won.
39:07And then I stayed the night at the house with him.
39:10That's a good story.
39:11And then he got really jealous of it.
39:13Yeah.
39:14His friend was so dumb that he told me that the reason he wanted to date me was to get back at the mechanic friend.
39:20That's horrible.
39:21Because there was a girl that the dummy was dating that started dating the mechanic.
39:25And so he's dumb enough to tell me what was the campaign.
39:28I think these two fellas are in love with each other.
39:31I'll tell you this.
39:32That's hot.
39:33So the dummy would talk shit about the mechanic.
39:35And so when I started talking to the mechanic again, I was like, hey, that motherfucker's not your friend.
39:39He is very jealous of you.
39:40You might want to stop being friends with him.
39:42Damn.
39:43It gets complicated in the adult Dave and Buster's house.
39:46Listen, girl.
39:47It was a lot over there.
39:49Three points to Dulce.
39:51Oh, my God.
39:52You didn't think I was that saucy, did you?
39:54No, I didn't.
39:55Next.
39:55That's a great comeback.
39:57Thank you so much.
39:58Whose sexcapade turned into an aggressive wrestling match?
40:03Rachel.
40:04It's Rachel.
40:05You know it's Rachel.
40:07It's Rachel.
40:07Why would we?
40:08Rachel probably has three different singlets in her closet right now.
40:12Singlet is wild!
40:13Now, but wait a minute, because there's also professional wrestling.
40:18Yes.
40:19Because I've smashed a table and chairs over a couple of men in the bedroom by accident.
40:25By accident.
40:26Oh, what?
40:27Yes, Rod.
40:27Yeah, no, I have a sexy bedroom that you could definitely do professional wrestling matches in.
40:32And have you?
40:33I've not done that.
40:34Because we've spent time.
40:35No, Frank, if you.
40:37Just because I seem like I would be gender affirmed in a singlet.
40:42Not gender affirmed.
40:44That doesn't mean you guys can just say that about me.
40:47Now, we can't write off Dulce or Vinny.
40:50When Rachel's about to finish, she's going to be like, I'm about to give you the chair.
40:55I can say when I was younger, I would trick men into wrestling me to see how strong they were.
41:00So you found men that were weaker than you to be with?
41:03You want them strong enough to be like to enjoy your evening, but not so strong where you're on the news.
41:08This is so fascinating to me because there are so many female animals who, like, attack the male to make sure he's not frail before they'll mate with him.
41:14Yes!
41:15Yes!
41:15Yeah, like a lot of cats do that.
41:17Yes!
41:18Listen, make sure you're not breeding with the weak one.
41:21You're trying to make sure that the bloodline that goes on is stronger.
41:24But you also don't want too strong that it's scary.
41:26All right, let's get our guesses in.
41:27Whose sexcapade turned into an aggressive wrestling match?
41:30Rachel, and it's not close.
41:32Look, she's already got her drink up.
41:33Dulce, who's your guess?
41:34The strongest woman I know.
41:37It's Rachel.
41:39Wait, everyone thinks it's me?
41:40Rachel, who's your guess?
41:41I think Roz, because I'm friends with Roz, and I know about the excapades.
41:46Ooh!
41:46Will the person whose sexcapade turned into an aggressive wrestling match please take a sip of their drink?
41:56Yum, yum, yum.
41:58Is it not?
41:59Oh, there it is.
42:00I'm upset.
42:00I'm upset that you all so easily thought it was me.
42:07That's because you're built like an old Irishman.
42:09Thank you so much.
42:10I am built like an old Irishman.
42:12You got a Y-I-O-T-A type girl.
42:14Put him up, put him up.
42:18I put one arm behind my back.
42:22All right, let's hear Rachel's story.
42:23I very much, like this mechanic, was trying to woo a femme at a party.
42:31But this femme had a crush on this butch, and then I decided to fuck that butch instead.
42:37Ha!
42:38And what happened was, thank you for, I'm sure you've been there.
42:41It sounds so healthy.
42:42We were all in our 20s at one point, but this sex between the two of us, we had such a similar energy that what it turned into was a little bit of like a battle of wits.
42:56Rock'em, sock'em, robot.
42:58It was not sexy.
43:00So no one's a bottom.
43:01No one's a bottom.
43:03When we first got into the bathroom, there was an energy between us that I mistook as erotic.
43:08It was more of a power thing.
43:11Two bulls, steam coming out of our ears, kind of like, yeah, we're kind of kind of doing this.
43:17Yeah, exactly.
43:18We're like, yeah.
43:19And then I kind of pushed her as to assert my dominance, but there was a tub with a shower curtain that I thought it was a wall.
43:27Because it was somebody's bathroom.
43:28I thought it was a wall.
43:29It was a shower curtain.
43:30So then I end up kind of sexy.
43:33Some people would think it was very sexy.
43:35Pushed her, but she hit her head on the other side of the bathtub.
43:41You could have been on the news.
43:42I know it.
43:43Listen.
43:43Party gone wrong.
43:45She stomped downstairs, grabbed a bag of frozen peas, came right back up, and we went right back to wrestling.
43:50It was wild.
43:52Oh, she's a competitor.
43:53Hold up.
43:53This wasn't her house and she grabbed frozen peas out of the fridge?
43:55Correct.
43:56When she's been there before.
43:58That's rotted.
43:58I would be so pissed.
43:59We don't know whose house it was.
44:01Don't go to my friends.
44:02She was just hoping there was something frozen there.
44:04Somewhat.
44:05They go into their freezer.
44:06Months later, their peas are covered in blood.
44:08You don't know whose house.
44:10It was like a friend of a friend's party.
44:12Yes.
44:12That's rude.
44:13You don't take people's peas.
44:15Also, you spilled blood in my bag.
44:16Did you clean the blood up?
44:18You don't touch the peas.
44:19You don't touch people's peas.
44:19Maybe we turn the shower on so that the blood would...
44:21How bloody was she?
44:23Not too bloody, but...
44:24She looked more like just wounded, right?
44:26Just wounded, but...
44:26Wait a second.
44:27Did y'all...
44:28So, she stomps back up with the peas.
44:30Stomps.
44:31Puts it on her own head.
44:33And then the girl walks through with a piece of paper that says round two.
44:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:38Back in a bad room?
44:39And then you guys go back into wrestling or hooking up.
44:43Yeah.
44:44I still don't know.
44:46It sounds like you won.
44:47Thank you so much for saying that.
44:48I mean, it sounds like you smoked her.
44:50Turned on the water is crazy.
44:51She tried to drown you.
44:52And also, you guys should know that everyone, every time you've ever had sex, there is a
44:57winner and a loser.
44:59I know.
45:00Oh, my God.
45:00There were so many turns in this story that could have been the secret.
45:03Like, it could have been I slept with a pea thief.
45:06And that alone would have been, like, unbelievable to me.
45:09Because who would do such a thing?
45:10And you've never seen this woman again?
45:12No.
45:13Never saw her again.
45:14All right.
45:15That is points to everyone except Rachel.
45:19It's closing time.
45:20Let's look at our final scores.
45:22We have Rachel with one point.
45:24Yes.
45:25Yes.
45:26Vinny with one point.
45:28Oh, whoa.
45:29Wait, sorry.
45:30I cracked.
45:31Okay.
45:34You were such disappointed.
45:36Use it.
45:36Use it.
45:37No, I was still going on for Rachel.
45:39Vinny with four points.
45:42Oh, wow.
45:43Vinny has four points.
45:45Dulce with five points.
45:46Yeah.
45:47Wait, wait.
45:48You got to have a bunch of points.
45:49And Roz with five points, which means today's winner is a tie.
45:53Oh, yeah.
45:54Between Dulce and Roz.
45:56Grant, tell them what they won.
45:58Lily, they'll both be getting a dirty laundry apron.
46:00Ooh.
46:01That's it for dirty laundry.
46:03I've been your host, Lily Do.
46:04Here's hoping you become a regular.
46:06Bye.
46:07Bye.
46:07Bye.
46:09We aren't the only ones with wild stories.
46:13This one comes to us from Sid.
46:15They write,
46:16My first semester of college, my roommate and I experienced things in our dorm we simply
46:21couldn't explain.
46:22The first was around 2 a.m. when a glass shattered near the head of my bed.
46:26It woke us both up, but when we checked, there was no glass anywhere.
46:30Another time, a swarm of spiders emerged from a pile of paper towels, but then a second
46:36later, they were gone.
46:37The more time I spent in the room, the more I suspected it was a ghost.
46:41One night, my roommate was out with her boyfriend, and I felt particularly pent up.
46:47As I read some smut, the ghost must have felt my energy.
46:50He pinned me down, and I was able to climax without touching myself.
46:54It felt very, very real, and I still don't know if I just imagined it or I actually fucked
47:00a spirit.
47:02Well, I don't know if that's real or not, but coming is not easy, so congratulations.
47:08Thank you, Jim.
47:08Thank you, Jim.
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