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The Cheap Seats - Season 5 Episode 24
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00:00Tonight, from across Australia and around the world, it's time to look back and unpack
00:07the week from the cheap seats with special guest, UK comedian Rob Beckett.
00:14And now, here are your hosts, Melody Bracewell and Tim McDonald.
00:20Good evening, thanks for joining us.
00:23Great to have you with us for another week as we look back on the biggest news stories.
00:27And how's this for a line-up?
00:29A turtle, a lizard, a python and a Christian minister.
00:33Perfect line-up.
00:35There was also a hundred chameleons, but no-one noticed.
00:38Let's kick off in Canberra with Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.
00:42He made a huge announcement.
00:43The PM finally seals a defence deal with Papua New Guinea.
00:47Yes, this is a defence treaty with Papua New Guinea, the biggest treaty signed since Nicole
00:52and Keith's divorce settlement.
00:55It was a huge day.
00:56This is the first new alliance, Australia, I think, has signed in over 70 years.
01:00Over seven decades.
01:00Pretty significant.
01:02What more can you tell us?
01:03Jellyfish don't have reproductive organs.
01:05I saw a little bit about the treaty, but...
01:10Also, how did you find that out?
01:12Yes.
01:12No.
01:13You don't want to know.
01:15If you do want to know more about jellyfish...
01:17You can learn more about the life cycle and reproduction of jellyfish by clicking on this link.
01:22We're listening to the radio.
01:24You cannot click on that link.
01:25On the link, it goes on to say HTTPS.
01:28Yes, we'll get to the website later.
01:30Flash forward slash...
01:30Okay, we'll get to it later.
01:31Let's head back to the treaty.
01:32It was signed in Canberra.
01:33The PNG Australia Defence Treaty.
01:35That's the PNG foreign minister there on the left.
01:38You can see there and...
01:39Just waiting for an Uber?
01:41No.
01:42That is the PNG foreign minister, Justin Kachenko, who is all across the details of this treaty.
01:47The treaty with Australia is going to be signed today?
01:49I have no idea.
01:52You're the foreign minister.
01:53How do you not have an idea about this?
01:56Well, you know, things take time.
01:59Has Cabinet approved this treaty?
02:02Which treaty?
02:03Which treaty?
02:03The Treaty of Australia Defence Treaty.
02:05Oh, it's a work in progress.
02:08Okay, so that means it hasn't been approved by Cabinet?
02:12You tell me.
02:13Right.
02:13That's when the teacher calls you on in the class and you haven't done the reading.
02:18He can tell us about jellyfish, though, so we might come back to Justin.
02:21Well, the two leaders sign the treaty.
02:26Very enthused on the left there.
02:28And we'll just wait for the PNG prime minister to work out how a folder works.
02:34It can be tricky.
02:35Okay, if we just close it from that side, but there we go.
02:40Perfect.
02:40And another applause.
02:41I feel a lot better about our partnership with PNG.
02:46Trying to get a better look out.
02:47Hey, afterwards, Albo and the PNG PM, James Marappe, they held a press conference.
02:51Which ended with this interesting moment.
02:54So, Richard, you might want to take James this into my office while I...
02:59That would...
02:59Yeah.
03:00Next prime minister.
03:02This is my office.
03:04Yeah.
03:07Yeah.
03:08Other things.
03:08Is he in trouble?
03:12He's not an Amazon delivery.
03:14He's the prime minister.
03:16Well, let's move on and check in with the federal MP for Kennedy, Bob Cadder.
03:20Our fuel is produced overseas.
03:22Our motor vehicles are produced overseas.
03:24Our underwear is produced overseas.
03:27Congratulations, Canberra.
03:29Congratulations.
03:29Good to see the anger management courses paying off.
03:34Well, I mean, he's talking about foreign made goods, but some of our senators are made
03:36in Lebanon.
03:37So, he's got to be aware of that.
03:40Now, don't say that.
03:41Sorry, sorry.
03:42Sorry.
03:42Look, Bob is upset about the demise of Australian manufacturing, as he explains.
03:48We send our gladiator into the ring, and we say, hey, listen, mate, give me your helmet
03:54and your shield.
03:55And he said, hey, hey, the other bloke's got a helmet and a shield.
03:59Oh, no, you fight without a helmet and a shield, it'll make you tough.
04:03And the gladiator says, it won't make me tough.
04:06It'll make me dead.
04:07That's what it'll make me.
04:08And that is why you have no motor vehicle industry in Australia.
04:11Ah, yes, those classic gladiators and their Toyota Corollas.
04:20Yes.
04:22Holden don't make the Spartacus anymore.
04:24That was their big selling model.
04:25Remember that famous line from Gladiator, where Russell Crowe goes, my name is Maximus
04:29Decimus Meridius.
04:31Father to a murdered son.
04:33Owner of a Ford Falcon.
04:35And that's why there's no manufacturing in Australia.
04:38It's unbelievable.
04:39Let's head overseas.
04:40The Pope is out there blessing a gigantic chunk of ice.
04:45He's turning that ice into frosé.
04:49That has a commercial value of $1.3 million.
04:52And that was at the Church of St. Crystal of Meth.
04:55So there we go there.
04:57Let's move on to the biggest story this week.
05:00Bear 32, or chunk, as his friends and fans call him.
05:04I don't think his friends should call him that.
05:06No.
05:06Chunk, or bear 32, which relates to his cholesterol reading, was crowned the champion despite having
05:12a jaw injury.
05:13Leading to this emotional statement from an expert.
05:15We're worried that he would die.
05:18And he's still so fat.
05:24It's just beautiful.
05:26He is so fat.
05:27So fat.
05:28Mind you, there was sad news from the world of wildlife.
05:30The British zoologist and animal rights campaigner, Dame Jane Goodall, has died in America at
05:35the age of 91.
05:37Jane lived an incredible life spent working with wildlife.
05:40She spent six decades studying the social and family interactions of chimpanzees in the
05:45wild.
05:46Keeping up with the conservationists.
05:48Her methods were very different to the modern methods of modern day conservationists.
05:53Robert Irwin ripped his shirt off.
05:59Welcome back.
06:02He's just established a breeding program there, I think.
06:04That's beautiful.
06:06Well, let's get back to Jane.
06:08Jane's career all began when she was just 26 years of age.
06:11Legendary paleontologist Louis Leakey.
06:14Hiring Goodall as his assistant.
06:16Tough job.
06:17Those were the four previous assistants.
06:19So, no, we're obviously having a little bit of fun.
06:21Can we see that again?
06:22Those are the former hosts of Studio 10.
06:27Hello, Ica.
06:28Through her research, Jane made a number of incredible discoveries.
06:32The mouth of the jellyfish has multiple functions.
06:35Sort of.
06:35More about chimpanzees is what we were talking about.
06:38Interesting.
06:39She was the first to observe this about chimps.
06:41She proved that chimps used tools and even modified them for particular purposes.
06:46Up until this point, it was thought that only humans could make tools.
06:49But it was when Jane captured this image of a chimpanzee using a Ryobi 18-volt cordless hammer drill.
06:56That's when we knew it was something special.
06:58We've got to take a break.
06:59Back with plenty more in the chief seats.
07:01Right after this.
07:02Great to have you with us.
07:16Lots making news this week.
07:18Let's head to nine news.
07:19If you're worried about your brain function slipping as you age, don't be.
07:24Next, the study that shows we hit our stride in our late 50s.
07:29So this is a story all about brain power.
07:32And we've noticed a couple of things about the Sudoku here.
07:35This man is confidently filled in the top left square of the Sudoku, despite not really enough information to do so.
07:43So let's break it down.
07:45In the top left square, we've got a five in the middle.
07:48That's despite the fact that on the other side, there is clearly a five.
07:53Intersecting with the five below that five as well.
07:58Then still in the top left, you'll notice there's a one in the top right column, which is interesting
08:02because if you go down to the bottom, there is a one in that column.
08:06Anyway, I mean, this feels a little more ABC, just doing a live dissection of a Sudoku.
08:12No, it caught our eye.
08:13And speaking of some new research.
08:15OK, doing admin in bed or even the bathroom is becoming increasingly common for sole operators
08:20who are signing up to the concept of working from anywhere, according to new research by MYOB.
08:26Now, to discuss the results and give us some details about how she tackles the workday,
08:31I'm joined by sole operator Sarah DiVoli, fittingly from her bed.
08:34So, Sarah, thanks for fitting us into your afternoon.
08:37Afternoon? Get out of bed!
08:40You can work from home and from the bathroom, and I'm just currently doing that now, actually.
08:48Multitasking.
08:50Let's press on.
08:51Not one square. Not enough.
08:52Well, I'm like Jane Goodall. I believe in saving the environment.
08:57You're doing a Sudoku on the clock as well.
08:59Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
09:01Ah, let's move on.
09:02And you do have to be careful when you are working from home.
09:04Detective Constable Niall Thubron was tasked with investigating organised crime
09:09and allowed to work remotely.
09:11But he did get caught slacking off.
09:14Let's take a look.
09:15A misconduct committee found on one occasion last December,
09:18a single I key was pressed more than 16,000 times in just 90 minutes,
09:24a move he repeated 38 times across 12 days.
09:29And that's valid work.
09:30That is valid work.
09:31That is valid work.
09:31I mean, he dotted all those I's, so he's across the detail.
09:35He has released a statement.
09:37And he told us...
09:38He told us this.
09:39We might come back to him.
09:40We might come back to him.
09:41We might come back.
09:42Let's move on.
09:43And it's been a big week in Queensland.
09:44Early this morning, a B-double truck carrying a truckload of sardines,
09:49potatoes and turnips crashed.
09:52No-one rushed to the scene.
09:56Sardines and turnips.
09:57Well, it's a very exciting opportunity.
10:01Yes, mate, plenty of sardines, plenty of turnips and potatoes
10:03on the side of the road at the moment.
10:06What a tourism slogan.
10:09Because there's nothing...
10:09The only thing better than a fresh turnip is one on the side of the road.
10:12Do you know sardines don't have reproductive organs?
10:16Wow.
10:16Yeah.
10:17That is beautiful.
10:17Anyway, we'll press on.
10:18Let's move on to the other big story in Queensland.
10:22The Broncos winning the NRL and NRLW Grand Finals on the same day.
10:27The first time that's ever happened.
10:29That's very exciting.
10:30But the wins weren't the best news for Broncos fans.
10:33You'll notice at the very top, Brisbane Broncos actually have shares.
10:37And they surged 20%.
10:39The Brisbane Broncos are on the share market.
10:41It's like a classic ABC coverage of sport, isn't it?
10:44But let's have a look at these other shares.
10:46You know, I had a lot of money on Sportsbet for the Pilbara Minerals.
10:49Yes.
10:49So I thought they were going to take it out this year.
10:50Yes.
10:51And I love Linus Rare Herbs.
10:55Great.
10:56Me so blast is what I've just done here on the toilet.
10:58Oh, my God.
10:58Look, by the end of the day, Broncos' shares had gone up by 40%.
11:04Huge.
11:05That brings its market value to $180 million.
11:07So it's still a small cap stock, though Broncos, not big enough to be listed on the ASX 200 or the All Lords.
11:13Jeez.
11:14They're not trying to.
11:15What are you talking about?
11:18If you're not the Dow Jones thing, fuck off.
11:20Yeah.
11:22I don't think Rio Tinto could win a grand final.
11:24So there, what are we talking about?
11:26Well, let's stick with the NRL.
11:28Yes.
11:28And Channel 9 had all the coverage.
11:30Certainly did.
11:30Storm are taking it home.
11:33Nice try, Melbourne.
11:34So look out.
11:34So bright, guys.
11:36And this is where the final battle will take place, and it's almost game time.
11:42Thanks, Pippa.
11:43Good pass.
11:44It was a forward pass, but that's fine.
11:46Well, Deb had a go at passing the ball back as well.
11:48All right.
11:49Well, we pass it back.
11:50Where's Pippa?
11:50Pass it out again.
11:52Oh!
12:01Little behind-the-scenes knowledge here for the cheap seats.
12:04We asked, would anyone in the crew be able to volunteer to throw a rugby ball at us?
12:10And they lined up.
12:12They were very, very keen.
12:14We filmed 73 more takes.
12:17We'll show those online later on.
12:19Hey, of course, Sunday was grand final day.
12:21And it's all about preparation.
12:23As Sunday's NRL grand final approaches, Robert is gearing up to transform into Storm Man.
12:32And pissing off his neighbours?
12:34Is that part of the preparation?
12:36It's amazing to think the Melbourne Storm lost, isn't it?
12:39Anyway, his share price has just fallen by 30%.
12:42So there you go.
12:43The game was in Sydney, and the atmosphere was incredible.
12:46Without a dog in the fight, us Sydneysiders were left to look to the sky for a sign on who to back.
12:52Yes, are you back in the storm or the Bron-news?
12:57Hard to read your writing.
12:58Do you feel?
12:59I think that sign writer was busted working from home.
13:02Oh, really?
13:03He was.
13:03Lazy bastard.
13:04Very lazy.
13:05Of course, the Melbourne and Brisbane faithful gathered at fan events.
13:09Bronco supporters were confident.
13:10Trish, let's talk us about this.
13:12Well, it goes all the way over my boob as well.
13:15Well, we're not going to show you that.
13:16Let's cut this.
13:17No, let's show it.
13:18We are going to show you that, yep.
13:20I think they call that tat for tit.
13:21You can go back to bed.
13:29That was great.
13:31Storm fans were feeling optimistic.
13:33Can they go all the way?
13:33Absolutely, they can go all the way, and I'm anticipating that they will.
13:36It's going to be a close game, but we'll come home with the biscuits in the air.
13:40Yeah, they'll go all the way to hospital.
13:42I think that's where they're going.
13:44Friend of the show, Channel 9's Mike Dalton was on the ground giving us all the crucial info.
13:49When did you come down to town?
13:50We got here this morning.
13:51How did you come down?
13:52Did you fly or drive?
13:52Train.
13:53Great.
13:54Good to check.
13:55Mike chatted to some Storm fans as well.
13:57Born in Melbourne.
13:58You've got more legitimacy than your dad.
14:01He's not my dad.
14:06Well, he's not my real dad.
14:07Exactly.
14:08Can we have a look at Mike's look again, by the way?
14:10He looks like a detective, but he's the world's worst Sherlock Holmes.
14:14Mike is a professional journalist, and he did get this interesting tidbit.
14:18On the time I started breastfeeding my son, sitting there watching a football, said Melbourne
14:23all the way.
14:24Madam, that's probably a little bit more information than I would call.
14:27And that's coming from Mike, who gets no information from anyone.
14:31But let's get back to the game.
14:33Yes.
14:33And there was one player everyone was talking about.
14:36Happy to sign jerseys and more.
14:38What are you wearing?
14:40Toilet seat.
14:41Why are you wearing a toilet seat?
14:43Because Reece Walsh's doing toilet water.
14:44I just think it's slightly concerning his hair is wet.
14:50Well, this is in reference to Reece Walsh, the Broncos superstar, who a couple of weeks
14:55back filmed himself drinking water out of a toilet.
14:58The Brisbane Broncos have been forced to release an official statement urging people
15:03not to drink water out of the toilet.
15:05That is still the best press release ever.
15:09Drink responsibly.
15:10Well, Reece Walsh's antics promoted this discussion.
15:13He's just such a free spirit, and that's the reason why, whether it's TikTok, whether
15:17it's, you know, he's doing his little pranks, he's not really hurting anyone.
15:20He's not hurting anyone.
15:21He's not hurting anyone.
15:22Just punching them in the head.
15:23But a huge win for the Broncos.
15:25Let's take a look at that post-match analysis.
15:28How hard is it to get one of them?
15:30Man, are we on?
15:32We're on.
15:32Oh, we're on.
15:34Shit.
15:34Yep.
15:36Perfect.
15:37Now, we are on.
15:38Let's hear what he had to say.
15:39Oh, this year's just been so, you know, so, like, fucking, oh, shit.
15:45I'm speechless.
15:46Celebrations went well into the night.
15:48And today, reporter Gabrielle Boyle was asking the big question.
15:51How are you feeling this morning?
15:52How are you feeling?
15:53How are you feeling this morning?
15:54How are you feeling this morning?
15:56Feeling pretty sore and sorry.
15:57How are the boys on the bus?
15:58How are they holding up?
15:59You look a bit sore and sorry.
16:01How are you feeling?
16:01How are you feeling this morning?
16:02I'm not a player.
16:05But still, how are you feeling?
16:07But congratulations to the Broncos, the men and the women.
16:10And well done to the Clive Churchill medalist, Reece Walsh.
16:12He had an interesting reminder on his boots.
16:15I'm looking down at your shoes.
16:18On your shoes, you got rid of B.
16:20Great.
16:22Do you feel great?
16:23Wow.
16:24I mean, he's not the only one with that reminder.
16:25That I have them here on my shoes as well.
16:30There we go there.
16:31That's good.
16:31Be great.
16:33Well, no, no.
16:33We're going to have a break.
16:34Back and forth.
16:37Be great.
16:47Welcome back to the team seat.
16:49And it's time for our special guest.
16:51Rob Beckett.
16:53Rob Beckett.
16:54Rob Beckett, ladies and gentlemen.
16:56This is Rob Beckett.
16:57Evening.
16:58Surprise!
17:00Hello and welcome.
17:01I've either done something wrong or incredibly well.
17:04This is not normal.
17:06We are so excited to welcome UK comedian Rob Beckett.
17:09We are both massive fans of yours.
17:22You keep glancing at the city landscape.
17:24Yeah, just the screen.
17:24Look at the beautiful city landscape and all your telly.
17:27Yes.
17:27We do.
17:29A nondescript city.
17:30Beautiful, isn't it?
17:30Where is that?
17:31That is the stock footage capital.
17:35Because that car has gone left five times.
17:37It has.
17:38Well, welcome to Australian traffic, Rob.
17:41It is so great to have you with us.
17:42Thank you so much for joining us.
17:43It's great to have you here down under in Australia.
17:46You've been here before.
17:47Yes.
17:47What do you like about Australia?
17:49I love the people.
17:50Very laid back.
17:51Good laugh.
17:52I'm struggling with the time zones, if I'm honest.
17:54I do think they need a bit of a revamp.
17:56Yeah, right.
17:56Just the daylight saving.
17:58Adelaide being half an hour.
17:59It's just ridiculous.
18:00That doesn't exist.
18:01Yes.
18:02Anywhere else in the world.
18:03Yes.
18:03So, yeah, but apart from that, I love it.
18:05Adelaide are actually a few years behind us.
18:08They get a lot of grief, Adelaide.
18:10I quite like Adelaide.
18:10It's quite...
18:11They're very chilled.
18:12But Melbourne have a go at Adelaide, don't they?
18:14And then Melbourne hates Sydney, and then Canberra's just in the middle going,
18:17why are we here?
18:20Well, you're here.
18:21You were just in Canberra, though.
18:22I was, yes.
18:23And you were staying in the make-up room.
18:24How much...
18:24Well, no, it's...
18:25Well, I just...
18:26I can't believe you create a capital city that's the least Australian place I've ever been.
18:29It's inland.
18:32It's cold.
18:33There's no seaside.
18:34Well, it's smack.
18:35It's like putting London in the Sahara Desert.
18:37Yeah.
18:38But you are here and happy to be here.
18:40And you're here because you're touring right around Australia with your brand new show,
18:46Rob Beckett, Giraffe.
18:47Yes.
18:47What can we expect from this show?
18:50It's a stand-up comedy show.
18:51It's live.
18:53It'll just be...
18:53Basically, you turn up, and I'll make you laugh, and you'll leave happier than when you arrived.
18:57Great.
18:57Great.
18:57What a guarantee.
18:58Yeah, and I change the set a bit, depending on where I am.
19:01So I talk about the location.
19:02I chat to the audience and stuff.
19:03So I've got sort of set jokes, but I try and just let it be live and in that moment of that night.
19:08Because everything's...
19:08You know, everyone's on social media, YouTube, stuff like that.
19:11But you can't be being in a room live with someone.
19:13Exactly.
19:14That's a great answer, although it does feel like you have absolutely no idea what the show's about.
19:17Right.
19:18Turn up.
19:19Rock up.
19:19We'll have a bit of a chat.
19:20We'll have one.
19:21You will laugh, though.
19:22So, yeah.
19:23Right.
19:23I can tell you exactly what I'm going to say.
19:26It might ruin it.
19:28Well, go on.
19:28We've got time.
19:30I want to know, is it called Giraffe because of what happened with you at the Brit Awards?
19:35No, I did that the other way around.
19:37So I called it Giraffe because I thought it would be a funny poster.
19:39There is a meaning to why it's called Giraffe that you can see in the show.
19:42Do you want to come?
19:43Gold Coast, still tickets.
19:46Don't know what time it's on because, you know, the times will change.
19:49They might be on daylight saving.
19:50Who knows?
19:51Perth don't do it.
19:52Adelaide do.
19:53Oh, for now, bish, bash, bosh.
19:55Apart from that, absolutely fine.
19:56I'm trying to ring home.
19:57I don't even know what time it is here.
19:59How can I work out time at home?
20:01In the history of this show, Rob, this is possibly the most confusing pitch for a show.
20:05In the history.
20:06Oh, do you know what?
20:07You don't know what the show's about, where it is, what time it is.
20:10Rob Beckett is the show because you did rock up to the Brit Awards dressed as a giraffe.
20:15Yes.
20:16The show's called Giraffe.
20:17And when you're a 40-year-old dad or two, going to the Brit Awards when there's storms in,
20:21no one cares.
20:22No one cares that you're there.
20:24Yeah.
20:24So I turned up as a giraffe and thought, I'll get attention.
20:26And I did.
20:27Sold the tour out.
20:28Bish, bash, bosh.
20:29Done.
20:30Unfortunately, the people that are going to the Gold Coast did not watch the Brit Awards.
20:33If you live in the Gold Coast, please come.
20:36Everything else is sold out.
20:37Gold Coast, please come.
20:41People think I'm dressing up as a...
20:42Is that too neat?
20:43Are you please?
20:46If I just wear an ordinary outfit, people think I'm dressing up as a giraffe.
20:49So, you know, it happens.
20:51Well, it's not just Gold Coast that you had a beef with.
20:54There was one town in Australia that you had a real beef with.
20:56Yeah.
20:56Because you had a great show in Sydney.
20:58Yeah.
20:58But there was one town south of Sydney that didn't quite get on board.
21:01I said it wrong.
21:01I said Turole, but it's Therule.
21:04Therule.
21:04Is that right?
21:05Well, that's funny because no one in Australia has ever heard of this.
21:08Yeah.
21:08I mean, that's...
21:10Well, it didn't sell out.
21:11I put it on Instagram going, guys, no one's coming to the Therule.
21:13And they went, yeah, we don't know where that is either.
21:14So, I'll...
21:15Anyway, that sold out.
21:17So, it shows shaming people online works.
21:20That's good.
21:21I would like to...
21:21So, Gold Coast...
21:22Yes, yes, Gold Coast.
21:23Come see, Rob Beckett.
21:2522nd of October.
21:26Yes.
21:26On that note, I would love to shame everyone.
21:29And Nary Warren.
21:32Who are definitely not coming to my show on Thursday.
21:36Right, OK.
21:36Good to know.
21:37So, how do you find Aussie audiences?
21:40They're way more relaxed and up for it than the British crowds
21:43because they can be a little bit, you know, awkward and quiet.
21:46So, everyone's a bit more relaxed, which is what I love.
21:48It sort of suits me as a comic.
21:49Where a lot of British comedians, the sort of, like, posh ones
21:52that went to Oxford and Cambridge that quite like the crowd
21:54to sit in silence and listen.
21:56I quite like a bit of involvement.
21:57Not too much, but, you know.
21:59Don't take that as an open invite.
22:01No, that's right.
22:02I know what I'm doing and I'll make you laugh.
22:03But I like when they're a bit more relaxed and open,
22:05which Aussies are, do you know what I mean?
22:07So, let's hope about it.
22:07Can you swear on this show?
22:09You can give it a go.
22:10Well, basically, when I landed, I was a bit unwell.
22:13So, I rung a doctor and he gave me some antibiotics, right?
22:15And he was like, do you smoke?
22:17Do you drink?
22:18And I went, oh, well, I had a couple of beers since I've been here.
22:20He went, oh, well, fuck all then.
22:23From a doctor?
22:24Yeah, I might check that last.
22:26Is that normal?
22:27That's great.
22:28That's good for Dry July as well.
22:29Yes, exactly.
22:30It's a record.
22:31You are no stranger to Australian audiences because you received the highest honour in
22:35Australian television.
22:36A cameo on Bluey.
22:38Is that right?
22:38Yes, I've been in Bluey.
22:39Yes.
22:40Stop it.
22:41Stop it.
22:42Who did you play?
22:44I played a butler in one of their little cartoon drawy ones.
22:50One of the cartoon drawy ones.
22:51As opposed to those live-action Blueys.
22:55The real dogs.
22:56But it wasn't with the actual dogs.
22:58It was like their imagination.
23:00Can I be honest with you?
23:01I'm not really across my own career.
23:07I'm very much turned up, enjoy myself and go home and never think about it ever again.
23:12Is there someone we can better direct these questions to?
23:15You could just get Wikipedia to be read out.
23:17Well, if you didn't see it, like Ron, enjoy it.
23:21Let's watch it.
23:22Good to meet you.
23:22My name is Monty.
23:24I'm head butler.
23:25Do come in.
23:27Oh, yeah.
23:28Watch out for that.
23:29The children set up traps in case their parents try and make them go to bed.
23:32That's unbelievable.
23:33You have young kids.
23:34What did they make of that?
23:35They were very impressed with that too.
23:37A lot more impressed than me dressing as a giraffe at the bridge than some of the other
23:41stuff I do on telly.
23:42So, yeah, that was a good one for the kids.
23:43Speaking of the stuff you do on telly, we loved you on Last One Laughing.
23:47You and a bunch of other iconic British comedians try to make each other laugh without laughing
23:52yourself.
23:53Yes.
23:53How difficult is that to do?
23:54That was the hardest thing I've ever done.
23:56So, on the first day, they sort of give you a little practice day of explaining the rules
23:59and stuff.
24:00I literally was smiling the whole way and I was like, Rob, you will literally be out
24:03within two minutes.
24:05So, in the hotel room the night before, I Googled it and the way to not smile, and I still
24:09broke out eventually, but like, is you sort of clench your jaw and then pout.
24:13And then that way you can't laugh, so if you, if you're ever at a funeral, that's someone
24:19you didn't like.
24:21Which happens.
24:21Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
24:25Clench your jaw.
24:26Well.
24:26And you won't laugh or smile.
24:27Would we like to see Rob's technique of not laughing in action?
24:30Shall we talk about something incredibly mundane?
24:33Yeah.
24:33Your kitchen.
24:39That's just his teeth.
24:41That's just a shape of his face.
24:44No.
24:47That is a competitive disadvantage.
24:49It is.
24:50I mean, I don't want to say, but we are both blessed or cursed with the same teeth situation,
24:54haven't we?
24:58No, no, hey, I'm just saying.
25:00We're on the same team.
25:01No, no, that's how to handle it.
25:02There we go.
25:05The problem with my teeth, you've got a beautiful set of teeth, the problem with my teeth is
25:08when I laugh, it looks like the teeth are trying to run out of my mouth.
25:12That's my problem.
25:13Well, you then had a go at trying to make these other legendary comedians laugh, and this was
25:18your attempt.
25:19My nan's dead.
25:20She slipped down the stairs.
25:22Off her face she was.
25:24All the way you go.
25:25Hadn't drugs.
25:26Granny?
25:27What drugs?
25:28Just like paracetamol.
25:30And a litre of gin, before you know it.
25:32Right.
25:32She's arsed backwards, bottom of the stairs.
25:34So, it wasn't really the slit?
25:36No, it was my granddad pushed her.
25:41True story.
25:42True story.
25:43True story.
25:43No, it's not a true story.
25:45They all panicked.
25:47So, you're touring around Australia.
25:48Have you got a final message to anyone, particularly in the Gold Coast region, around October 22?
25:55Gold Coast, come, please.
25:57I don't want to be desperate, but everything is still sold out.
26:00It's my last show.
26:01I don't want to leave the country on a load.
26:04So, what else is there doing the Gold Coast?
26:06Quite a lot.
26:08It's quite a lot.
26:09It's quite a lot.
26:11There is a lot.
26:11They've got Movie World, Dream World, getting drunk, shouting at the sea, stuff like that.
26:16They've got schoolies, you can check that out.
26:18Exactly.
26:19Well, if you're not offended by Rob in the Gold Coast, his latest show, Giraffe, there are some tickets still available, ladies and gentlemen.
26:26Would you please thank the wonderful Rob Beckett?
26:42Currently heard on Nova FM Breakfast, it's hello to Mel Tresina.
26:49Lovely to see you, MT.
26:51You're here to bring us the best of showbiz.
26:53I am, and I'm here to bring us some fuel.
26:56Oh, great.
26:57Thanks for Kellogg's Coco Pops Chocos, real nourishment for real.
27:01Fantastic.
27:03You've come dressed as the box, that's nice.
27:06That is beautiful.
27:06I really lean into that Kellogg's cash.
27:08This is the best thing about our new sponsorship deal.
27:11We just get to sit here and eat delicious cereal.
27:13That's true.
27:14And during my segment, which is great, which means less talking from you guys.
27:17So, that's a win.
27:19Oh, too mean.
27:21Sorry, guys.
27:22Wait, let me fuel up.
27:24Okay.
27:25It's pretty good, isn't it?
27:27It's really good.
27:27I haven't had Coco Pops in too long.
27:29It's so good.
27:29Let's not talk with our mouth full.
27:34Okay.
27:35Big thank you to Kellogg's.
27:36Great to have them on board.
27:37And while we're saying thank yous, we should say a big thank you as well to everyone who came
27:40to see the Cheap Seats World Tour.
27:46Was it amazing, nice?
27:47That's really nice that they photoshopped you to make you look taller.
27:50That's really kind.
27:52For some reason, we're dressed as the Russian flag, but it was a lovely...
27:55I would have said Cold Gate Triple Action.
27:57Cold Gate Triple Action.
27:59How did we all have fun at the live show?
28:00Yeah, I had a ball.
28:01It was so good.
28:02I can anticipate a similar crowd at my Nary Warren group.
28:07Big thank you to everyone here who worked so hard to put it together.
28:09Hopefully we can do it again soon.
28:11Now, before we get into your segment, Mel, another very exciting thing happened this week.
28:16The new promo for Big Brother came out.
28:19Okay, cut to camera three.
28:20Is Sarah still in snacks?
28:22It's time to go, Sarah.
28:24Liv and Jackson, they're gossiping behind the fake phone.
28:27Can we zoom in?
28:28What are they?
28:30Where's that PA button?
28:33This is Big Brother.
28:34This is Big Brother.
28:36Mel, what are you doing?
28:39Oh, nothing, Big Brother.
28:39I was just checking that all the buttons are working.
28:42Yeah, that looks good.
28:43One, two, three, four.
28:51That's so exciting.
28:52What prestigious university did you study acting at?
28:55That was just mixed level.
28:57Also, why did you guys give me subtitles?
28:59Was that hard to understand?
29:01You might have been talking with your mouth full again.
29:03Oh, the Kellogg's Coco Pops.
29:05That is exciting.
29:06We finally have a date.
29:07Yes, yes, we do.
29:08Which is?
29:11November 9.
29:14November 9 at the Gold Coast,
29:15which reminds me I've got to buy tickets for Rob Beckett's show.
29:19Sunday, November 9.
29:20Pop it in the diaries, everybody.
29:22Cancel it in.
29:23Big Brother.
29:24Oh, wow.
29:25Yes, it starts on the 9th.
29:27Yep.
29:28It'll be cancelled on the 10th.
29:31Great.
29:31Looking forward to it.
29:32Cancel it in.
29:33Big weekend.
29:35All right.
29:35Lovely to see you, M2.
29:36Should we talk some showbiz?
29:37You were laughing a little too hard on that.
29:38Yes, yes.
29:39Let's start with the biggest entertainment news of the week,
29:42which is, of course, Taylor Swift dropping her 12th studio album,
29:45The Life of a Showgirl.
29:46And to promote it, she appeared on The Graham Norton Show
29:49alongside a star-studded panel.
29:51Something tells me Cillian Murphy wanted to swap seats.
29:54The one that I feel I ought to graduate is the new bit of finger jewellery.
29:57The hardware upgrade?
29:58Yes.
29:59Check it out.
30:00Check it out.
30:08Man, it's crazy to still talk about.
30:11It's so cool.
30:13Was it at Madonna's party?
30:14Was it at Madonna's party?
30:15It was at Madonna's party.
30:16I think it was at Beyonce's party.
30:18I was at Beyonce's party.
30:19I didn't reach out for me and you.
30:21I didn't reach out for me and you and I.
30:21We got to link up.
30:23I was going to say, I'm wondering, I really love your ring, man,
30:26but that's amazing.
30:27I think that's really good.
30:29And I think that's really lovely.
30:33That's fine.
30:34That's fine.
30:34This is on The Graham Norton Show.
30:40Now, they filmed this before the album was actually released,
30:44so the songs were embargoed.
30:45So they got to preview one of the songs.
30:48Or did they?
30:49The Fate of Ophelia.
30:51Here it is.
31:02That was so good!
31:06Some of the best acting that panel has ever done.
31:08So, just to be clear...
31:10Just to be clear, they obviously couldn't play the song
31:13because then everyone in the crowd would have heard the song.
31:15Yeah.
31:15So they just had to sit there and pretend they were listening
31:17to a Taylor Swift song.
31:18Yes.
31:19And they were kind of on beat because every Taylor Swift song
31:22sort of sounded the same.
31:28Hang on, hang on.
31:29So what else do you hate about Taylor?
31:30Yeah.
31:33No.
31:33I think the word you used backstage was underwhelming
31:35and pedestrian, but...
31:37Swifties come for her.
31:39I think the opening track of the album's
31:41All Right takes a severe dip and then it ends with a bang.
31:44That's my review.
31:45That's my review.
31:46That's my review.
31:47I'd rather have your opinion.
31:47Yeah.
31:48Yeah.
31:48Yeah.
31:48What was your favourite track?
31:50Yeah.
31:50Tim?
31:51Do you know what my favourite track was?
31:56No, I'm asking.
31:56Do you know what my favourite...
31:57I've got no idea.
31:59So just to be clear, Taylor Swift joins the other bands
32:02that you really despise.
32:03You hate BTS.
32:04BTS, um...
32:04Why do you not?
32:05I've never seen that.
32:06I've never seen that.
32:07I love BTS.
32:07Please don't hurt me.
32:11All right, moving on.
32:12The Block continues on Nine
32:13and surely this week they're at the tail end of building.
32:16We're gathered here today to witness something truly extraordinary.
32:22Sunny and Alicia are getting married again.
32:27Wow.
32:27Wow.
32:28Till auction do us part.
32:30The Block.
32:32They're not building houses.
32:33They're building homes.
32:34Exactly.
32:34Oh, my God.
32:35And it was a great reception.
32:36They tore up the dance floor because it wasn't properly waterproofed.
32:40They had to restart and do it again.
32:43But it was a big wedding.
32:44It was a big wedding.
32:45And I've got to say, the bride was beautiful in a custom hard yakka gown.
32:50Stunning.
32:51Yeah.
32:51Something borrowed, something blue, something old and something from a cafe.
32:54Exactly.
32:55And of course there was the cutting of the cake.
32:57Always a lovely moment.
32:57Always a lovely moment.
33:00In the show, the talking heads are a great way for the Block heads to decompress and update
33:04their build without offending their colleagues during filming.
33:07On the Block every year, there's rich teams and there's poor teams.
33:10Right now, the rich team is house one and house three.
33:13They're coasting.
33:14And then you've got poor old house two who are really, really struggling.
33:17I know.
33:19Sorry, mate.
33:22Oh.
33:23Oh, my God.
33:25She's moving out.
33:26Could have at least helped her with a box.
33:28All right.
33:28Over to seven for MKR, which stands for My Kitchen Rules, not My Kitchen Wraps, as some would
33:33have you believe.
33:34Michael M.
33:35Riley on MKR.
33:37We're about to become a superstar.
33:39Through our amazing food, we're going to deliver tonight.
33:41You better watch out because the table's going to be a fight over the last rack of lambs.
33:47Everyone's going to be fighting over the meat.
33:49Michael, the meat master, he's here and he did the libra.
33:52They then crashed into the carpool karaoke car.
33:58What's incredible about that is that that rap was embargoed and so they were listening
34:01to nothing.
34:02But they still had to do all the moves.
34:04This is incredible.
34:05Now, the reality gods have answered my prayers and they've combined an iconic interaction
34:10from Love Island, USA with Dancing with the Stars, USA.
34:14I'm a mommy.
34:16Mommy?
34:17I'm a mom.
34:18Mamacita.
34:31It's a girl!
34:33Yay!
34:34Congratulations, world!
34:38What?
34:39I don't know.
34:40What is going on?
34:42But I have been watching the show, obviously, to keep up with Rob Irwin, who is on.
34:46And the judges, the audience, America, they love him.
34:49And of course, it's because of his dancing skills and his work ethic.
34:52You're a better friend.
34:54Better friends are like you.
34:57Oh, no.
35:00The classic Robert, even on a celeb reality show, he's still using his platform to advocate
35:05for wildlife and conservation.
35:07The only bit you want to avoid is the sharp end, which is down there.
35:10Unfortunately, crocodilians are hunted for those skins, and it's used in the fashion industry.
35:16But the skin of an alligator belongs on the animal.
35:19I feel like there's another skin people are hunting for now.
35:24And if you're wondering, how does Rob get so fit?
35:27It's because of Coco Pop's Chocos.
35:30Exactly.
35:30And that's my week in arts and entertainment.
35:40Please thank me.
35:42Welcome back to the Team Seats.
35:56And it's time now for...
35:59Crime Time!
36:04Yes, they do the crime, we do the time.
36:07This is the segment where we investigate all the biggest crime stories of the week.
36:11And we haven't done Crime Time for a while, and to be honest...
36:13Yeah, the cases are stacking up.
36:15They're piling up!
36:16They are piling up!
36:17People think the hardest part of this segment is just throwing to funny clips.
36:20Well, actually, it's a lot of paperwork.
36:22The paperwork is a killer!
36:24The paperwork is out of control.
36:25Yeah, great.
36:26All right, first case up.
36:30Where do we start?
36:32A boulders-brass shoplifter has been caught on camera stealing a television from an electrical
36:37store in Wyala.
36:38Crystal-clear security vision shows the man casually stuffing the box under his T-shirt
36:43and strolling out.
36:46And he almost got away with it today!
36:48Almost got away with it!
36:49It's just great to see someone under the age of 55 watching television.
36:52That is good.
36:53If you do see the gentleman whose name is Tinky Winky, please get in touch.
36:58Another case solved.
37:02We don't need that anymore.
37:04What's next?
37:05Adelaide's tobacco wars flare again.
37:08Investigations tonight into a blaze at a Clarence Park supermarket.
37:12Adelaide's tobacco wars, they rage on and residents were frightened.
37:16The fuel container taken in as evidence.
37:19Just way too close to home, really.
37:21A bit scary and too close.
37:23Could you come down off your fence, Angela, and have a chat to us?
37:26I spoke to Wilson from Home Improvement there.
37:28That's good.
37:29What else did locals have to say?
37:31It's a nice community and it's just a real shame that somebody's kind of...
37:34We don't want to point the finger, Mel, but...
37:36It's an interesting choice of name they had for the witness.
37:39Sky Burnmeister.
37:40In Sky's defence, that is her married name.
37:44Her maiden name is Sky, definitely an arsonist.
37:46Yes.
37:48Just to be clear, Sky had nothing to do with the fire.
37:51Let's go to another crime story now.
37:53What have we got?
37:54Also, a notorious killer's car goes up for sale online.
37:58This is Erin Patterson's vehicle, which went for sale up on Facebook Marketplace.
38:03Let's get a closer look.
38:05The ad says the second-hand SUV is in excellent condition.
38:09I've only done 22,000 Ks.
38:11There's a few trips to the dump.
38:12That's, um...
38:13Don't worry.
38:14It is safe to drive because it has got a different coloured number place, so it's fine.
38:19Well, what else did the ad say?
38:21The detailed description didn't reference the car's owner.
38:24Probably a good idea.
38:25Yeah.
38:26That's what I thought.
38:27Well...
38:27If you've just joined us, we're taking a look back at the week in crime with some amusing
38:31jokes that the audience are tolerating.
38:35Very patiently.
38:36Well, sticking with crime, let's go to the big story that's dominating headlines in New Zealand.
38:42It's time now to meet the country's latest kleptomanic cat.
38:47Yes.
38:47He's served nine life sentences.
38:49But this is Nico.
38:52I'm going to have to report you, ma'am, but I'm sorry.
38:54That was terrible.
38:55This is Nico, and he's a hardened criminal.
39:03Trumpeting his return to signal he's brought home the goods.
39:07Mostly little socks, men's underwear, women's underwear.
39:11And the underwear is not produced in Australia.
39:17That's Bob Catter.
39:18Come on!
39:23It's going in the files.
39:26It's not the only cat criminal in New Zealand.
39:29Nico's just the latest in a long line of kiwi klepto kitties, like Keith the Thief and
39:35Leonardo da Pinci, just to name a couple.
39:37They were all deported from Australia, though, so...
39:41What's interesting, this story has reached the US, and Donald Trump is amazed that it is the pussies doing the grabbing.
39:47Yeah.
39:48It's a real role reversal.
39:50It is a real role reversal.
39:51Welcome back.
40:01Alright, let's take a look at one more crime.
40:03A manhunt is underway for the perpetrators of a ram raid at a mecha store, stealing thousands of dollars' worth of cosmetics and fleeing.
40:10This is a serious case.
40:12They believe the person responsible is connected to an outlaw moisturiser gang.
40:20That was amazing.
40:22They're the primer suspects.
40:23They are.
40:24They are.
40:25Well done.
40:26Well done.
40:27Sadly, they got away with it because they use concealer, so we'll never know.
40:33Police have released this identikit image of someone they want to speak to.
40:37That was...
40:38Climb time!
40:42We're going to take a break.
40:43Back with more in the cheap seats after this.
40:47Welcome back to the cheap seats.
41:00Thank you so much for watching us this week.
41:02And let's check the latest forecast.
41:03Of course, I'll have that forecast right after I have a selfie with Sid the Alpaca.
41:08See you soon.
41:13Okay, don't let us interrupt you.
41:15Yeah.
41:15No, you're right.
41:17The cyclone warning can waste.
41:18I can.
41:19Exactly.
41:20Can we check back in with Sherry Lee?
41:22Welcome back.
41:24Who's quickly assembling her very own Noah's Ark there.
41:27Is it going to be raining for 40 days and 40 nights?
41:30Can you just let us know now?
41:31That's a biblical reference and I liked it.
41:34Quite an old show this week.
41:36We've been doing Sudokus, the Bible.
41:38It's been great.
41:39Hello to everyone under the age of 65.
41:42But before we go, a bit of time to award our...
41:45The reporter of the week.
41:53Why did you do an impression of a door creaking?
41:57Well, because I'm still on the toilet and I just was...
42:00This is reporter of the week.
42:03This is reporter of the week.
42:05We're on our reporters going above and beyond for the story.
42:07And when it comes to presenting the weather while holding an animal, no one did it better
42:11this week than Tyra Stowers.
42:13Oh, Mike, there he is.
42:14And I have a smaller helper.
42:16And louder helper here with me with the forecast tonight.
42:19But the weather will not hit until tomorrow evening.
42:22So it's a bit more sunshine.
42:25To finish off the weekend, I'll have all those details right after the break with my new little
42:29friend.
42:30She should not have been talking about ragu.
42:34It really was.
42:35It really was.
42:36Exactly.
42:37Congratulations, Tyra Stowers.
42:39You are out.
42:42Reporter of the week.
42:44On that note, we're done.
42:46Thank you to Mel, Trasina and Rob Beckett.
42:49We'll see you next week right now in the cheap seat.
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