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00:00Oh, Mary, it's so nice to have you back in the office with me.
00:06It is kind of homey.
00:07Would you mind just moving a hair to your left?
00:10There's a nice window view I'd kind of gotten used to.
00:13Okay.
00:14Skitch more.
00:17Almost there.
00:19Another smidge.
00:22Down two inches.
00:24Perfect.
00:26Welcome home, Mary.
00:30Monday, Mad About You returns with a very special guest.
00:34Last year, he shattered baseball's home run record.
00:37The entire country cheered him to victory.
00:40He was named Athlete of the Year.
00:42Now, baseball great Mark McGuire faces his greatest challenge yet.
00:46Hi, Mark.
00:47Mark!
00:50I hate when this happens.
00:52Is Mark McGuire pinch-hitting for Paul Buckman?
00:54All those pancakes, pretty good.
00:56An all-new Mad About You, Monday on NBC.
01:00Well, now that you've seen Grace kiss Will's brother, Sam, next week, how long can Grace keep the affair secret?
01:07It was Sam!
01:08Oh, my God!
01:08And?
01:09Act it out or something.
01:10Will Jack guess who Grace has been with?
01:13Uh, oh, okay, Sam.
01:14Sam!
01:15What will Will say when he finds out?
01:18I don't believe this.
01:19And what price will their friendship pay?
01:22You betrayed me.
01:23And the fact that you don't even understand where I'm coming from just makes it worse.
01:27Will and Grace.
01:28I think I'm gonna be sick.
01:29Now she's coping with divorce.
01:31I want someone to cut off George's end, Dad.
01:33And flirting with disaster.
01:35In a story for anyone who's ever had to start all over again.
01:38I'm ready for a new life.
01:39Mary McDonald and Tippi Hedren, replacing Dad, CBS Wednesday.
01:45Stay where you are.
01:47Becker is next.
01:48From the network that brought you Survivor and the producer of CSI,
01:52comes the next great reality adventure.
01:54Be the rush!
01:56Ordinary couples.
01:57Hurry up!
01:58In the most extraordinary challenge of their lives.
02:01Don't miss The Amazing Race, CBS Wednesday this fall.
02:06Be the rush!
02:07Hey, don't move!
02:11Everybody Loves Raymond is next!
02:13When the moon comes out over Wolf Lake,
02:16nothing is what it seems.
02:19The wolves have come back.
02:21Many people call them skinwalkers.
02:23There's a war coming between the families.
02:25The war is already here, old man.
02:28What about you?
02:29I think you know.
02:30Wolf Lake, CBS Wednesday this fall.
02:34Tonight on The Late Show,
02:35Dave's got Christian Slater,
02:37David Bowie,
02:38an NBA Finals Quiz,
02:39plus the top ten Mike Tyson.
02:42First, your local news.
02:45Coming up next on Eyewitness News,
02:46an out-of-control fire in the South Bay Hills.
02:50200 acres.
02:51Holmes threatened a live report.
02:54A child beating caught on tape.
02:55Tonight, her version of the attack
02:57and a plea for forgiveness.
02:59Al Gore on the attack in the Bay Area.
03:01Why he says war with Iraq is bad for the U.S., Israel, and the world.
03:07Injured and diseased pets sold to customers.
03:10Tonight, a special undercover report
03:12on a popular pet store in the South Bay.
03:15As usual, fall is off to a hot start.
03:18The question is, how long will it last?
03:20We'll have the forecast.
03:22Eyewitness News starts now.
03:23And it's their biggest season yet.
03:26With guest stars like Kevin Bacon.
03:28You're my stalker.
03:29I prefer the term professional crazed fan.
03:31It's an episode sure to become a classic.
03:33I loved you in Footloose.
03:34Oh, yeah, you saw that?
03:35Yeah.
03:35Footloose, footloose, footloose.
03:38Yeah.
03:43Later on The Tonight Show,
03:45Saturday Night Live's impressionable Daryl Hammond,
03:49plus American Dream's Brittany Snow,
03:50and Jay's walking into a battle of the sexes.
03:53Yellow News is next.
03:56Next at 11, day three of a raging Bay Area wildfire.
03:59Live team coverage, the latest.
04:01And keeping spam away from your cell phone.
04:03Next at 11.
04:06I'm a foster friend.
04:08ABC Theater returns with a movie called Superb and Riveting.
04:11Who were the boys that did this to you?
04:14Our guys, Outbrage and Glenridge.
04:15ABC Next.
04:16Rental Discretion advised.
04:20Ten-year-old is dead.
04:22Did she and her twin get off a school bus when police say a driver makes a deadly mistake?
04:26Angry protests over the end of a busing program?
04:28And remembering Atlantans killed in the value jet crash?
04:31The Night Beat is next.
04:36Live from...
04:37The biography of Ronald Reagan, 14 years in the making.
04:41The book is out.
04:42And we'll have a report for you.
04:44Also, a rendering of the Virgin Mary in a New York museum is creating quite an uproar.
04:49When we tell you why, you'll understand the controversy.
04:52The news is next.
04:53Quick, when I say angelized, do you think of Jay Leno or Jennifer Lopez?
05:01I mean, J-Lo.
05:03Steve Irwin's thinking...
05:05Never mind.
05:06David Gray's singing, but I'm thinking...
05:08And, uh, you know, I'll come into this next.
05:11From barely clinging to life to becoming a healthy little girl, don't miss a very special reunion.
05:17Plus, protesters give the former president a scare in Poland.
05:20And OJ's giving advice to Robert Blake.
05:23Wait till you hear what it is.
05:25Now that my son's a bit older, I can share advice with him.
05:33The women, for example.
05:35It's really important to remember that when you really like a girl, you should play cool.
05:39Women are much more interested if a man isn't a sure thing.
05:43It's true.
05:44Then, that's my advice.
05:45ABC Monday, an all-new special.
05:57Not all the secrets have been told.
05:59The world's greatest masters of illusion come together for one spectacular night of magic.
06:05Monaco's Princess Stephanie and Baywatch's David Chokichi host the all-new Champions of Magic 3.
06:10ABC Monday, 8, 7 central.
06:13Next week, it's three episodes of Brothers Keeper.
06:15Giving you a chance to get to know them better.
06:17As a single father, I face unique challenges.
06:20No!
06:20People still have the idea that athletes aren't smart.
06:23I made a Popat.
06:25People ask what it's like being a sports agent.
06:28You're a Clara!
06:28Brothers Keeper, three times next week, starting Tuesday after Home Improvement on ABC.
06:32ABC.
06:35Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling.
06:38Talk salad and scrambled eggs.
06:40Quite stylish.
06:41And maybe I seem a bit confused.
06:45Well, maybe.
06:46But I got you paid.
06:48Ha!
06:48Ha!
06:49Ha!
06:49Ha!
06:49Ha!
06:50But I don't know what to do with those soft salads and scrambled eggs.
06:55They're calling again.
06:58Good night!
07:01See, Wyatt?
07:02I made this.
07:09Next Sunday.
07:10Where is she?
07:11The shocking season premiere continues on the 100th episode of The X-Files.
07:15What happened to her?
07:16She's dying.
07:17You have to tell them that I was the one who killed that man.
07:19I can't do that.
07:21Mulder, if I could save you, let me.
07:22What Mulder may have seen could expose our plans.
07:25We will fix the FBI problem.
07:28For good.
07:28I'm offering you a chance to know the truth.
07:30In exchange for what?
07:32Come work for me.
07:33The 100th episode of The X-Files.
07:36Next Sunday at 9, 8 Central on Fox.
07:39More Fear Factor.
07:40Go to NBC.com.
07:42NBC Thursday.
07:43An all-new, supersized apprentice.
07:45I'm gonna fight like crazy.
07:47Somebody's already losing it.
07:49Police cannon.
07:50We cannot have her.
07:51Freaking out.
07:52Everyone, shut up.
07:54Plus, another huge task.
07:56Create a brand new ice cream.
07:57And sell it.
07:58Any man that purchases one gets a free kiss.
08:01And then hold on.
08:03You ought to shut up.
08:04For a boardroom everyone will be talking about.
08:07You're so stupid.
08:09Guaranteed.
08:09An all-new apprentice.
08:11NBC Thursday.
08:15Hey, welcome back.
08:16What?
08:17Kidnapped.
08:18Kidnapped?
08:18Would you like that?
08:19No.
08:20The tied-up part is intriguing.
08:21But no, I don't want to be kidnapped.
08:22Why?
08:23Do you want to be kidnapped?
08:23No, I don't want to be kidnapped.
08:24I was, I told you.
08:26I would be kidnapped by him.
08:27He was cute.
08:27He was cute.
08:28Did you see that?
08:29I don't want to be, I don't like to be out of control.
08:31Yeah.
08:32You know?
08:32Give me a break.
08:33How good is actresses, Dr. Channing?
08:35She's a great writer.
08:36She's a consistently a very good actress.
08:40I think this is her year.
08:41She hasn't gotten it, though, shows you what the Emmys mean.
08:43No, no, no, no.
08:44She was as Rizzo in Grease was the best.
08:47Fingers crossed for her, all right?
08:48Fingers crossed for her.
08:49Tomorrow, Mariel Hemingway, The Good Girls star, John C. Reilly, and we're getting a preview
08:54of the new TV shows coming your way this fall.
08:56To all the secondary virgins out there, have a great day.
08:59Take a little time to enjoy the view.
09:00You got nothing else to do.
09:01You make me sick, you stupid little white face.
09:09Stop the crying.
09:10Stop crying.
09:11Mom.
09:12For 15 years, Paul Hexperm abused his family.
09:15You called the cops on me?
09:16Then, when there was no one left to hate.
09:18I don't want you in the house.
09:20He finally saw the monster within.
09:22I started beating my wife just after we got married.
09:25Based on the true story of how one man found his way out of the nightmare.
09:28You guys don't have to be afraid of me anymore.
09:30John Ritter in his most compelling role ever.
09:33Unforgivable CBS Tuesday.
09:34This Thursday.
09:38Get ready to experience the passion.
09:40Lisa Marie Presley even has a record contract.
09:44But the biggest announcement in music this week is the lineup for Homapalooza 96.
09:48Wow, Smashing Pumpkins, Cypress Hill, Sonic Youth, and Peter Fremden.
09:53Check it out.
09:54It's the musical event of the year.
09:55And it's only six days away.
09:57Right here on Fox.
10:00Sunday, the most spectacular rock event ever staged for television is coming to fun.
10:08Homer Palooza.
10:09You want to go on tour with a traveling freak show?
10:13Keep watching.
10:14You could win.
10:15That is your safety bill now.
10:16A trip on the Simpsons' jet to any U.S. concert date of the Smashing Pumpkins.
10:21A gig with Sonic Youth.
10:23And an autographed Homer Palooza guitar.
10:27Wardrobe from Madonna.
10:29Front row seats to the first Kiss Coasters back in makeup.
10:34Don't stop the reaction.
10:35Or a Las Vegas adventure you'll never forget.
10:40As guests of the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas.
10:44TV's loudest season finale.
10:47Hosted by Kiss.
10:49Live from the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas.
10:52Yes, this rocks.
10:54Hey, don't you miss a minute of this.
10:56Fox is rockin' Sunday.
11:01The coolest website in cyberspace is just a click away.
11:05Log on to the all-new Fox website at Foxworks.com.
11:09Next Tuesday on Fox.
11:12You've got to force him down.
11:14Shoot him down if it comes to that.
11:16They're going to be on us in the next three to four minutes.
11:18One week from tonight, an all-new 24.
11:21I don't want to fire on Bauer without the president's permission.
11:23The so-called economic experts.
11:26David, we have Kyle Singer in custody.
11:27However, Jack Bauer doesn't know there's nothing may be necessary to shoot him down.
11:32Are you prepared to authorize this?
11:33I would like to hear the president's answer to that question.
11:38They've got us.
11:39They've locked onto our heat signature.
11:40Come on, David.
11:41What do you want to do?
11:43Hey, stay tuned for an all-new Just Shoot Me.
11:45It's coming up next on NBC.
11:48They're vows of holy matrimony.
11:49Look how in love they are.
11:51You could be looking into my eyes right now.
11:55That could be me up there.
11:57You may kiss the bride.
12:08Oh, my God.
12:09Let's get the hell out of here.
12:10That could be me up there.
12:18Later on The Tonight Show, Jay has an audience with tenenbound royalty Ben Stiller, plus
12:23the thumbs of Roger Ebert and Richard Grover, and the tunes of Lighthouse.
12:28Your local news is next.
12:30Up next on News 3, the rush to save a life above a raging river.
12:34We'll show you what happened.
12:35But first, our top story.
12:37Children forced to wait hours for a spot inside a hospital.
12:41News 3 Night Sight starts right now.
12:46For years, there's one night.
12:48Fox next Sunday, Futurama goes Hollywood.
12:58From Hollywood stars...
12:59I've had so many facelifts, they lifted right off my body.
13:03It's true!
13:04To Hollywood Boulevard...
13:06Fox uses those searchlights to blind pilots.
13:08Then film the resulting crashes.
13:10An all-new episode next Sunday on Fox.
13:13Now, Bobby becomes a ventriloquist.
13:16My son plays with dolls.
13:18There, I said it.
13:18He's a sissy.
13:19There, I said that.
13:21An all-new King of the Hill starts right now.
13:23Next Sunday, it's the most outrageous King of the Hill ever.
13:32How do my girls look, Hank?
13:34When Hank is caught in a case of mistaken identity...
13:37He thinks I'm a pimp.
13:38Straight up, yo.
13:39Golden Globe winner Renee Zellweger and Big Snoop Dogg guest star...
13:43I am the Mac Daddy of Heimlich County.
13:46...on an all-new King of the Hill.
13:47Whoa.
13:48And next, can Sideshow Bob control Bart's mind?
13:51Bart's a brainwashed killing machine.
13:53Eh, so was I at his age.
13:55Kelsey Grammer guest stars on an all-new Simpsons.
13:58Next on Fox.
14:03My clock.
14:08Next Sunday, it's the ultimate explosion of the boy bands.
14:11And then Springfield.
14:14Oh, hot, hot, hot.
14:16When Bart Simpson's party posse joins forces with NSYNC.
14:19Drugs, fins, jiggy, do-si-do.
14:21And clothes with a matrix.
14:23NSYNC guest stars on an all-new Simpsons.
14:26And now, how could a routine traffic stop land Lois in the slammer?
14:31Hey, Mom, is this a bad time to tell you I got kicked out of shot class?
14:34An all-new Malcolm in the Middle starts right now on Fox.
14:37A medical emergency lands Malcolm in the hospital.
14:47We're going to have to start him in an IV.
14:49Oh, God, not me again.
14:50Accidents happen.
14:51But will he make it out alive?
14:53They're gonna cut you open.
14:55Like a trout.
14:56This place is a slaughterhouse.
14:57Malcolm in the Middle.
14:58Take the pills.
15:00An all-new episode next Sunday on Fox.
15:02And coming up...
15:03Who is the father of Scully's baby?
15:06There's something I haven't told you.
15:08I don't believe this.
15:09X-Files, all-new, next on Fox.
15:15I made this.
15:20Next Sunday.
15:22They report my uniform camera.
15:24Are you trying to tell me this has something to do with Mars?
15:26The search.
15:27They're coming.
15:28The motor.
15:30It's over.
15:31You're putting people in danger.
15:34If you're gonna tell me this is all I am, you've found me on it.
15:36This is where we put company.
15:38The X-Files' biggest mystery is finally revealed in that television event of the season.
15:43Agent Scully!
15:44Where is he?
15:45It's over there.
15:46The X-Files.
15:48All-new, next Sunday on Fox.
15:52ABC flashes back with Richard Dreyfuss.
15:55I will use anything that teaches a student to love music.
15:58Of all the lives he's changed, the one that's changed the most was his own.
16:04The network television premiere, Mr. Holland's Opus, Sunday at 7, 6 Central, on ABC's Splashback Weekend.
16:16That sound hasn't been heard in 87 years.
16:19Plug your ears.
16:20The Titanic toots its horn.
16:21Plus a look back at the life of one of the most popular film critics ever.
16:24On Futurama, it's an all-out space war.
16:33Sounds nice.
16:34With the return of the one-eye.
16:36Fry as the ranting menace.
16:38Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it.
16:40Fix it.
16:40And featuring Old Boy Wanna Nappy.
16:45Get up!
16:46It's an all-new Futurama, next week.
16:48And now, will Nancy and John come clean about their affair?
16:52What?
16:52All of a sudden, I feel dirty.
16:54I'm gonna take a shower.
16:55I'll join you.
16:56Good God!
16:57King of the Hill, followed by The Simpsons on Fox.
17:01Peggy Hill.
17:06Hank's having an identity crisis.
17:08Yeah, you don't have to make me beautiful.
17:10Ah, beautiful.
17:12On an all-new King of the Hill, next Sunday.
17:15And now, get your tailgate party ready for the Fox-Homer coming game.
17:19Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
17:21The Veal might have died of loneliness.
17:23The Simpsons is next.
17:24Then, in one half hour, what could cause two boys...
17:28We didn't do anything!
17:29...to have such disregard for authority?
17:31We definitely intend to pay...
17:32It's an all-new Malcolm in the Middle after The Simpsons, starting now.
17:36Shh.
17:37Shh.
17:37Shh.
17:37Shh.
17:37Shh.
17:42Can Homer and Barney get sober?
17:46I see you've hit rock bottom.
17:48I can sink way lower.
17:50An all-new Simpsons, next Sunday.
17:53And now, two boys...
17:56He enjoys things!
17:57...on a one-way street to Nowhere's Mill.
17:59I've decided to let you off.
18:01Ow!
18:01How could someone who seems so innocent...
18:04They are gonna hear all about it when I get them home.
18:06...go so wrong?
18:07You actually intend to pay for...
18:09Ow!
18:09Ow!
18:10An all-new Malcolm in the Middle starts right now on Fox.
18:18Later on the Tonight Show, Jay's intelligent briefing indicates Pearl Harbor's Ben Affleck is possible.
18:24Plus, a surprise attack by Dave Edna.
18:26If it's a surprise, you can...
18:27I know that.
18:29Your local news is next.
18:29He served Columbus as chief for more than a decade, but now the Columbus police leader is thinking about leaving his post.
18:37Plus, this rainy weather means those orange barrels will be hanging around a lot longer.
18:42And it was a prom that was 60 years in the making.
18:44Tonight, World War II vets who missed their senior prom get a chance to make up for lost time.
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