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Have You Been Paying Attention.
Have You Been Paying Attention. (2013) S13E22
Have You Been Paying Attention. (2013) Season 13 Episode 22
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00:00Tonight, join Kitty Flanagan, Chris Parker, Denise Scott, Ed Gavily and Sam Pang as we
00:11look back on the week and ask, have you been paying attention?
00:16And now, the man with the answers, Tom Gleisner.
00:22Good evening Australia, great to have your company for this our final episode of 2025.
00:28We've dragged five of our all-time favourites back in.
00:31Plus, we're joined by international guest quiz master, Rosie O'Donnell.
00:36Indeed.
00:37Alright, let's meet our team.
00:39Lighting up the screen with a new season of Mother and Son, it's the always delightful Denise Scott.
00:46Still touring with his hit show, Stop Being So Dramatic.
00:49So pleased to welcome back the wonderful Chris Parker.
00:55About to head off on a brand new tour of her own.
00:57Her own, the amazing Kitty Flanagan.
01:01Host of the hit podcast, you're not going to like this.
01:04It's the ever-informed Ed Cavallese.
01:06Hi, Ed.
01:09And finally, back with his own Tonight Show next week.
01:12One last chance for him to enjoy a proper audience.
01:16It's Mr Sam Pang.
01:18Hey, congratulations Denise, you're going back and doing stand-up, a tour for the first time in ten years.
01:27Yes, yes, that's right.
01:28Very exciting.
01:29It's called Tickety Boo.
01:30What can audiences expect from the show?
01:32Oh, well I think that's pretty obvious from the poster.
01:36Yes?
01:38Well, no, the background.
01:39Come on.
01:40Everybody, you know.
01:42No?
01:43It's William Morris who created wallpaper designs in the 1850s.
01:48Right.
01:49Am I selling any tickets so far?
01:51That's true.
01:52It's, it's, well it's, I wanted something different.
01:54Yeah.
01:55Something unique.
01:56Yeah.
01:57And no, it's because I started, I've become addicted to colouring in books.
02:01And what about that, hey?
02:03Now we're talking.
02:05And, and, no, adult colouring in books.
02:08Oh, of course.
02:10No.
02:11Not sexual.
02:12No.
02:14Anyway, it's about a lot of things, but I try not to say the word cancer.
02:19Oh, I see.
02:20So, it's because you see.
02:21I get it.
02:22Nothing.
02:23No, I get it.
02:24Nothing.
02:25That'll shut an audience down quicker than wallpaper.
02:28Hey, welcome there.
02:29Chris, great to have you with us again.
02:30Thank you for having me.
02:31And we saw, well.
02:32It's a lovely.
02:34And we, um.
02:35I haven't done anything.
02:36We saw this lovely photo of you and Margot.
02:39Yeah, that's my adopted doctor.
02:40Aw.
02:41She, I got it like a day before I did my first appearance on the show here.
02:44Okay.
02:45And she is still ruining my life.
02:46Okay.
02:47You're still together?
02:48Yeah, we are still together.
02:49You can't give her back once you put her on TV.
02:51Okay.
02:52She seems a, um.
02:53Seems a very important part of your life.
02:54I know, actually.
02:55And being away from her, I feel a little bit, like, guilty, I guess.
02:59And I miss her.
03:00Wow.
03:01So, I have, um, started up a craft activity.
03:03Yeah.
03:04Um.
03:05Felting.
03:06Needle felting.
03:07Um.
03:08Which, sorry.
03:09I think, like, Denise might get it.
03:10Um.
03:11Wait, Dad.
03:12What is felting?
03:13When you stab wool and then you can create little sculptures.
03:15I made this version of Margot so she's always, um, with me.
03:17Oh, my God.
03:18Oh, my God.
03:19Oh, my God.
03:20She has, she has two days.
03:23I think the likeness is not too far off.
03:26I feel like you made that from my hair.
03:28It's made from Margot's hair.
03:30Indeed.
03:31Well, she seems a very well-loved dog and, like, no expense spared.
03:34Um, yeah, we have spent, like, should I just be candid?
03:38What?
03:39Don't judge me.
03:40$6,000 on her training.
03:41Training?
03:42Training?
03:43Training to do what?
03:44Can she fly a plane?
03:45Fire a rifle?
03:46What?
03:47No, but she now can be left alone for five minutes.
03:50Right.
03:51That's amazing.
03:52That's amazing.
03:53And you've got some special, like, activities to keep her amused round the house?
03:57Well, she watches me felt.
03:58Yes.
03:59Yeah.
04:00I actually thought I might get a bit of flack for the felting.
04:02Why?
04:03And I thought, actually, well, it's kind of embarrassing.
04:05Oh.
04:06And just as a, as a way to sort of, I don't know, like, warm myself up to Australia with
04:10my felting.
04:11Oh, God.
04:12I've also created, um...
04:13This is unbelievable.
04:14...a little, um, tom for you.
04:22I would say it does look like Putin hosting, have you?
04:26It does?
04:28And then you go, Sam, that's a voodoo doll for you, so...
04:32I, I already like this more than you.
04:35Thank you, Sam.
04:36It's lovely.
04:37Now, Kitty, you've also announced a new tour.
04:39That's amazing.
04:40I have, and I'm a little concerned now because mine is about wallpaper and cancer.
04:44OK.
04:45OK.
04:46It could be...
04:47There could be a clash.
04:49It's, um, Glad Game.
04:51Look at that.
04:52Look at that.
04:53No opera house, but you are kicking off in Wangaratta, so that's, um...
04:57LAUGHTER
04:58You know, you always do the regionals.
05:00Uh, regions to the end of the, for the end of the year and then, uh, capital cities, uh,
05:05next year.
05:06I'm finally allowed to go to the capital city.
05:07Fantastic.
05:08LAUGHTER
05:09Good luck with the tour.
05:11All right, for one last time, hands on buzzers.
05:15Well, the Prime Minister had an exciting update.
05:18More young Australians will be able to get the keys to their first...
05:21The keys to their first...
05:22What?
05:23Chris?
05:24Chasity Belt.
05:25Is, uh...
05:26Not one got here.
05:27Not one got here.
05:28Uh, Denise?
05:29Diary.
05:30Is...
05:31You had the little girl's diary.
05:32Diary.
05:33Lovely.
05:34Not a diary.
05:35Big...
05:36Bigger purchase than that.
05:37And Chris?
05:38Hobe.
05:39Indeed.
05:40It says he's 5% deposit on housing loans.
05:42Would that apply to investment properties?
05:44LAUGHTER
05:45Worth asking.
05:47Worth asking.
05:48Strong words from Barnaby Joyce.
05:50This is the greatest con job of our time.
05:53What is the greatest con job of our time, Sam?
05:56Oh, well, is it monogamy?
05:58Is...
05:59LAUGHTER
06:00Denise?
06:01Um, well, I don't know,
06:03but I was doing a little gig in a regional town a few weeks ago
06:07and this woman, um, said,
06:09would you like me to get you something volunteer?
06:12And I said, yes, a glass of wine.
06:14She came back and said,
06:15just letting you know your glass of wine is coming,
06:17but I can't bring it to you.
06:19Right.
06:20Because I'm...
06:21Haven't got an RSA.
06:22Uh, responsible service...
06:23Serving of alcohol.
06:24..of alcohol licence.
06:25Yeah.
06:26And that is bullshit.
06:28LAUGHTER
06:29I just think...
06:31Absolute...
06:32Like, she was a volunteer to God's sake,
06:34I'm 70, I've got cancer.
06:36Why would you ask?
06:37I get it, I get it.
06:38Like, jeez.
06:39I get it, I get it.
06:40Sam, I get it.
06:41Is that entire answer on the card?
06:43LAUGHTER
06:44No.
06:45Check all the cards.
06:46Ah, yes, Sam.
06:47Renewable energy.
06:48Yes, yes, solar and stuff like that.
06:50Ed, point to yours.
06:51Oh, look who's back.
06:53Why was mushroom murderer Erin Patterson in the news again?
06:56Good one, girl.
06:58Chris.
06:59Masterchef judge.
07:01On the short list, but no...
07:03Kitty.
07:04Has she got a new light and easy range?
07:06No.
07:07Why was Erin back in our news?
07:09Sam.
07:10She's appealing.
07:11Yeah, she's appealing her conviction.
07:12No, no, no.
07:13She's quite appealing.
07:14LAUGHTER
07:15I don't speak to that, but I will give you the first part, Sam, appealing her sentence.
07:22Hey, this was headline news.
07:24No more beardos, no more fatties.
07:27What am I talking about?
07:28Chris.
07:29It's another day on Grindr.
07:30It's...
07:31Is that right?
07:32Mate, you're off the beardos.
07:33Denise.
07:34Um...
07:35It's my book club.
07:37Is it?
07:38It's like...
07:39Sure.
07:40They don't lift their game.
07:41Yeah, well, they have...
07:42Uh, Kitty.
07:43Uh, Biky's getting a glow up.
07:45That's...
07:46That would limit Biky memberships.
07:47Ed!
07:48No, please, Denise.
07:49Please.
07:50Oh, Denise, what's being talked about?
07:51Is it the...
07:52You can't join...
07:54The army or something?
07:55That's the bit.
07:56I'm tracing new standards for the military set by US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth.
08:00And if you don't believe us, take a look.
08:02The era of unprofessional appearance is over.
08:04Wow.
08:05No more beardos.
08:06Wow.
08:07No more beardos.
08:08Well, facial hair has been linked to autism, so they're obviously drilling down there.
08:13Uh, Denise, points are yours.
08:14Interesting statement from President Trump.
08:16I'd call it the N-word.
08:18There are two N-words and you can't use either of them.
08:21Okay.
08:22We...
08:23What N-word is, uh, he talking about?
08:25Kitty.
08:26Is it Nangs?
08:29Not the...
08:30No, he's...
08:31Uh, Denise.
08:32Namaste.
08:33Is...
08:34I think that's...
08:35I think that's...
08:36Lovely.
08:37I wouldn't say it.
08:38Uh, Sam.
08:39This is a trick question.
08:40He...
08:41He's saying you can't say either of them.
08:42Well...
08:43So if he can't say them, why would we say them?
08:45Well, you...
08:46You can say the one he's thinking about.
08:48It's, uh...
08:49It's relating to the...
08:50The...
08:51The...
08:52The...
08:53That'd be nipples.
08:54It would not be nipples.
08:55It's...
08:56It's...
08:57I think, uh, the...
08:58The might and power of the US Army because they've got sand.
09:01Oh.
09:02Nuclear?
09:03That is it.
09:04That's it.
09:05I can't say that.
09:06What was it?
09:07What's the other one?
09:08Knowledge, I think.
09:09Hey, intriguing moment in Rome.
09:13What's Pope Leo doing there?
09:17Chris?
09:18An ice bath at the Vatican.
09:19That does look very interesting.
09:20Uh, anyone know what's the backstory of their kitty?
09:22Is he blessing what's left of the North Pole?
09:25It's...
09:26You are...
09:27You pretty much got it there, Denise.
09:29He's trying some ice.
09:31Okay.
09:33The kitty's closest to the pin at this point.
09:35Oh, points for me.
09:36He's obviously talking about the...
09:37The very important issue of...
09:40Blessing polar ice for, like, climate change.
09:43As part...
09:44As part...
09:45Yes, Sam.
09:46Do you think that's the best use of his time?
09:47Well...
09:49Maybe...
09:50Maybe he's trying to turn it into wine.
09:51Right?
09:52I don't know.
09:53Anyway, I think it might happen.
09:54That's good to have it.
09:55We've got to take a break.
09:56Back with more...
09:57Today is a big day.
10:12First home buyers hoping to crack the property market.
10:15Get the keys to their first home quicker.
10:17That sounds good.
10:18It's not all good news.
10:19We have a supply issue.
10:20Enormous levels of debt.
10:21By the time this bulletin ends...
10:22House prices...
10:23Will increase...
10:24$17 trillion.
10:25That's a bit of a bummer.
10:26Meanwhile, President...
10:27Trump...
10:28And his Secretary of Defence...
10:29Vowed to end...
10:30Facial hair.
10:31No more beardos.
10:34For that collection.
10:35Have you been paying attention just before we return to questions?
10:39Sam, Season 2 of your Tonight Show starts next Monday at this time.
10:44What can you tell us about Season 2?
10:49Well...
10:50There'll be no beardos of fatties I tell you that.
10:52Good.
10:53Good.
10:54Tell you what, you look happy about it in the photograph.
10:59Unlike you, Ed, I don't enjoy photo shoots.
11:01It does look like Ten's holding you hostage.
11:04What about stunts?
11:05What about some stunts?
11:06Is anyone getting married at first sight or a Love Island or a dog doing a trick?
11:10What have we got?
11:11Yeah, no, but I'll be...
11:12There's eight weeks and I'll be doing each show in a different accent.
11:16Wow!
11:18Japanese.
11:19Alright.
11:20Let's hear a bit.
11:21Thank you for that, Sam.
11:22Alright, hands back on buzzers.
11:25Meet Chunk.
11:26What prestigious title has he just won?
11:30Kitty.
11:31He's the first bear to get fat shamed.
11:34I think Kitty's because he's just won.
11:37Alaskas...
11:39Oh, Denise.
11:40Bear of the Year or something.
11:43Fat, hairy, beard-o, fatty.
11:48Bear of the Year.
11:49Bear of the Year, thank you.
11:50I heard the words fat and bear and you'd probably be thinking weak, wouldn't you?
11:54So, fat, bear, weak?
11:56No, I wasn't thinking that.
11:58But I was.
11:59You was.
12:01Yes, Chris.
12:02My community actually have a similar award that we give out.
12:05He means New Zealanders.
12:08Denise, I will give you the points.
12:10It's Alaska's fat, bear, weak.
12:11It's the latest TikTok phenomenon.
12:14Have you ever heard of a swag gap?
12:16Swag gap.
12:17Swag gap.
12:18Swag gap.
12:19Swag gap.
12:20Swag gap.
12:21What is a swag gap?
12:25Denise.
12:26Is it when you forget the words waltzing material, like, waltzing jolly?
12:34Yes.
12:35Something...
12:36Not...
12:37No.
12:38That's a great answer.
12:39That is...
12:41Kids are using this, don't they?
12:42I...
12:43So, it's when you...
12:44Your partner has a lot less, like, money and looks and possessions than you do.
12:50Indeed.
12:51One partner.
12:52Cool.
12:53Or more attractive.
12:54In the afternoon, yeah.
12:57All right, we're moving on.
12:59Meet Sarah Mullally.
13:00She's the first ever woman to hold what position?
13:04Denise.
13:05Is she replacing Dawn French on the Vicar of Dictionary?
13:08Sure.
13:09Well...
13:11Vicar...
13:12Vicar's not a million miles away, as you can tell from the clue.
13:16Ed.
13:17Missionary.
13:20There might have been a few before her.
13:22Sam.
13:23I'd like to just point out that Ed was quite disrespectful to the new Archbishop of Canterbury.
13:28That is the bit I'm chasing.
13:29Yeah.
13:30Leader of the Church of England.
13:31Well, they will give it to anyone these days.
13:33Sam points yours.
13:34All right, time to roll out the red carpet.
13:39And tonight's showbiz segment is brought to you by the new Mitsubishi Outlander.
13:45It's a bit rock and roll.
13:48I guess so.
13:51Oh, this was shocking.
13:54Nicole Kidman filed for divorce from Keith Urban, citing what reason?
13:59Chris.
14:00Swag gap.
14:01That big one there.
14:02Big swagger.
14:03Uh...
14:04Anyone know the red...
14:05Denise?
14:06It'd be the old irreconcilable differences.
14:07That is exactly...
14:08That's exactly what it was.
14:09You know, I mean, look at their hair.
14:10Denise, that's exactly what was listed.
14:11Irreconcilable differences.
14:12I mean, she's quite good at music and he's, you know...
14:14That's right.
14:15That's fine.
14:16That is fine.
14:17Denise, points are yours.
14:18Oh, big week for Robert Irwin on Dancing with the Stars.
14:33Stop her there and ask you what happens next.
14:37Kitty.
14:38She's spinning pretty fast.
14:39Do her pants fall off?
14:41She's safe.
14:42Not to her.
14:44What happens...
14:45What does Robert do for us?
14:47Denise?
14:48Well, there was a spike in people going to emergency with heart attacks.
14:53Is that right?
14:54Because of what Robert did.
14:55And at what?
14:56Well, I thought it was more interesting to go the long way round.
15:02He spared.
15:03He took off his shirt.
15:05Denise might have the points.
15:07Take a look.
15:08Oh!
15:09Oh!
15:10Oh, yeah.
15:11Whoa!
15:12Hey, hey.
15:13That protein powder you gave him the other week.
15:15It's not bad.
15:16It's really starting to work.
15:17He hosted this show once, Tom, remember?
15:18He did.
15:19He stood right where I am and did a pretty good job.
15:25You're quite...
15:26You're quite different, aren't you?
15:28Well, I believe we have a special video quiz master standing by.
15:32Hi, Tom.
15:33Hi, everyone.
15:34It's Greta Lee here from the film Tron Aries,
15:37which features new original music from what band?
15:41Ooh, Tron Aries features new original music from what band?
15:45Chris.
15:46The Wiggles.
15:47Is...
15:48What else have we got here?
15:49Denise.
15:50Would it be the Mildura Brass Band?
15:53It's...
15:54I saw them recently.
15:55Did you?
15:56How were they?
15:57They're amazing.
15:58Amazing.
15:59And they were, in fact, fully booked out the motel where I was staying.
16:02Wow.
16:03And when I came in, they said, are you with the band?
16:06Wow.
16:07What did you say?
16:08What did you say?
16:09I said, do I look like a tuba player?
16:11They are.
16:12They're great.
16:13They're great.
16:14How we laugh.
16:15That's how we laugh.
16:16I think we can rule out the Mildura Brass Band.
16:18What's the band featured in the Tron movie?
16:21Yeah, Sam.
16:22I think it's nine...
16:24Sorry.
16:25I think it's nine-inch nails.
16:27Ooh, let's ask Greta if that's right.
16:29And the answer is nine-inch nails.
16:31Sam points to us.
16:32Ooh, what's next?
16:34Hey, guys, it's me.
16:35What were all these folks lining up for on Friday afternoon?
16:40Uh, Denise.
16:41Well, you're there, so I'd say the free shingles.
16:45Is...
16:47It's important you get it.
16:48It's important you get it.
16:50Thanks for the reminder, Denise.
16:52I was...
16:53I was watching on.
16:54I wasn't there, Kitty.
16:55Watching on.
16:56Oh, that's all.
16:57Trying to cross the street.
16:58Watching on.
16:59Kitty, what were they lining up for at three o'clock on Friday?
17:02I think the, uh, Mildura Brass Band is on tour.
17:05Well, it's music, Denise.
17:07It has to be to do with Taylor Swift.
17:10There you go.
17:11Would you say the launch of a new album?
17:12That would do.
17:13I would definitely say that.
17:14It's weird.
17:15It's like you're reading my mind.
17:18Denise, let's ask me if that's correct.
17:20That's right.
17:21It was the Taylor Swift listening party.
17:25Showgirl.
17:26There you go.
17:27Oh, there was a huge moment on the bold and the beautiful this week.
17:31You knew that you were making love to me.
17:33We all thought you were dead.
17:34You're going back to prison for the rest of your life.
17:37Oh, my God.
17:40What just fell out of Luna's purse?
17:43Kitty.
17:44Sorry.
17:45I just need to clarify a few things.
17:47First of all, when we say purse, are we talking about?
17:50No, no, we are.
17:51We're talking about, yeah.
17:56What fell out of Luna's purse, Sam?
17:58Anthrax.
17:59It is.
18:01Oh, not for air.
18:03I watched this.
18:04It was a positive pregnancy test, Tommy.
18:09I mean...
18:11Sorry, I have another clarification because the man said,
18:14we all thought you were dead.
18:16How many of them were having sex with her?
18:21The first one said...
18:22Why were they having sex with her when she was dead?
18:24The first one said, you knew you were making love to me.
18:27If I had a dollar.
18:30We're getting bogged down.
18:33Ed, do you say a positive pregnancy test?
18:37Take a look.
18:39I'm pregnant.
18:40And I've got to say, the cast reactions were next level.
18:46You're gone forever.
18:47We've got to take a break.
18:48Back with our special guest, Bizmaster.
18:49We're back to watching how you've been paying attention
19:05and it's time to meet our special guest, Bizmaster.
19:07And what a way to finish off the year.
19:10She's a multi-EMMY award-winning actor, community member,
19:15and one of the most recognisable voices in entertainment.
19:20Please welcome Rosie O'Donnell.
19:26Hi, Tom.
19:28How are you?
19:29Welcome to the show.
19:30Welcome to Australia.
19:31Your first time?
19:32Yes, and this is my first day.
19:33Oh, wow.
19:34Just arrived last night.
19:37We heard you had some concerns about getting through customs
19:40and immigration.
19:41Yes, because I watched that show Nothing to Declare.
19:45Which we call border security.
19:46Yeah, yeah.
19:47And did they give you any trouble?
19:49They gave me no trouble, but I've watched the show.
19:51Yeah.
19:52Like an old man has a cherry and they treat him like he's Julian Assange.
19:55Yeah, that's pretty much it.
19:56They throw him to the ground, they strip search him.
19:59They do.
20:00I'm like, what if I'm a smuggler and I don't realise it?
20:02Maybe I have smuggler dementia.
20:04It could happen.
20:05You know?
20:06So when I walked in, I was like, oh my God, here it comes.
20:09Here it comes.
20:10And they said, right through.
20:13And thank goodness for that.
20:15Yes.
20:16Now let's go back a few years.
20:17You're in a feature film, League of Their Own,
20:19with Madonna, Gina Davis, Tom Hanks.
20:21Not a bad life.
20:23And for those who might not remember.
20:27Those people are jerks.
20:28What do you mean some of us?
20:30Do it.
20:31Bang.
20:32Good arm.
20:33Just like that.
20:35Okay, some of them are going home.
20:36How'd you do that?
20:38Did you have to audition by showing them you could throw a baseball?
20:42We did.
20:43We had to go play baseball first.
20:44And my agent called and said, can you really play baseball?
20:47I said, if there's one thing I can do better than Julia Roberts.
20:51It's play baseball.
20:53And then you saw them all at the batting cage.
20:56Like Julianne Moore, Julia Roberts, Sandy Bullock.
20:59Everybody was there and Julia saw me hitting it like out of the park.
21:03And she came over and said, can you give me some tips, Rosie?
21:06Oh, wow.
21:07And I, yeah, I was friendly.
21:08I said, you might want to hold the thin end of the bat pretty well.
21:12Good luck out there.
21:13Good luck out there.
21:14Good advice.
21:15Good luck.
21:16Yeah.
21:17You had your own daytime talk show.
21:18Right.
21:19The legendary Rosie O'Donnell show.
21:20Right.
21:21So many big names rolled through.
21:22Madonna, Barbara Streisand, Mariah Carey.
21:24And of course, this.
21:27Oh, there he is.
21:28Whoa, whoa.
21:29Yeah.
21:30Yeah.
21:31Come on.
21:32Whoa.
21:34What the?
21:35What?
21:37Listen, I'm a lesbian, but I'm not dead.
21:39That's amazing.
21:40He just kisses you on the mouth when he comes out for his show.
21:45Well, I was telling the world how much I loved him for many years, you know?
21:50Of course.
21:51And saying, please, Tommy, come on my show.
21:53Tommy, can you hear me?
21:54Wow.
21:55You know, I used to sing from the Tommy musical, too.
21:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:58But, you know, he is a guy that I saw in Risky Business at my local hometown movie theater
22:04Yeah.
22:05With my sister.
22:06Ah.
22:07And I thought, that is the perfect man.
22:08Now, I didn't want him in my bed.
22:10Okay.
22:11I wanted him to mow my lawn and bring me a lemonade.
22:14Sure.
22:15Perfectly, perfectly reasonable.
22:17Now, Rosie, you're here in Australia with your brand new show, Common Knowledge.
22:20Yes.
22:21What can audiences expect?
22:23Well, it's a one-woman show more than it's about stand-up.
22:26Mm-hmm.
22:27And it talks about being a mother without having a mother.
22:29My mom died when I was 10.
22:31And it talks about raising five children, including my youngest, who has autism.
22:35Okay.
22:36So, how do you become a mother if you never had a mother?
22:39Sure.
22:40And you debuted the show in Dublin.
22:42How did the Irish take to it?
22:43Yes.
22:44They loved it.
22:45Okay.
22:46The Irish were great.
22:47They stood up and cheered.
22:48I had to go out four times.
22:49The fourth time, I was like, I got nothing else.
22:51There's no...
22:52Goodbye.
22:53There's no encore.
22:54There's no song.
22:55I'm like that the first time I go out.
22:56I got nothing.
22:58I got nothing.
22:59I got nothing.
23:00Now, you've spoken about your self-imposed exile to Ireland.
23:03What's life like in Ireland?
23:05It's beautiful.
23:06It really is.
23:07It's a smaller life.
23:08It's a more familiar life, in a way.
23:12It reminds me of my life before I was famous.
23:14Okay.
23:15There's not a celebrity culture there.
23:17So, like, are you recognised in the street?
23:19They mostly go, hello Rosie, we hate them too.
23:22Can I buy you a beer?
23:27We have barely scratched the surface of your amazing career, but we do have some questions.
23:31There's five people here who are going to attempt to answer them.
23:34And I've been watching.
23:35They know what they're doing.
23:36All right, let's dive into it.
23:40All right.
23:41Big moment for Fran Drescher on Wednesday.
23:43What is she celebrating here?
23:45Denise.
23:46That she managed to get down on the floor.
23:50She's probably thinking, how will I get back up?
23:53Getting up today.
23:54Getting up today.
23:55More than just being on the floor.
23:56It's a big moment.
23:57Sam.
23:58Rosie, you might know this.
23:59My role on the show is to give the correct answers.
24:02That looks like a Hollywood star walk of fame type thing.
24:06Ding, ding, ding.
24:07He's got them.
24:08Yes, Sam.
24:09Have you ever worked with Fran Drescher?
24:10Many, many times.
24:11She's a good friend.
24:12Oh.
24:13What sort of, what show were you on together?
24:14The Nanny?
24:15The Nanny.
24:16I did The Nanny four times.
24:17Really?
24:18Yes.
24:19I played a cab driver in one of them.
24:21Typecasting, who's to say?
24:23Sam, points are yours.
24:25Next question, please.
24:26Jimmy Kimmel revealed the moment he heard his show was suspended.
24:30Where was Jimmy?
24:31Chris.
24:32Applying for Irish citizenship.
24:34Possibly on the way to...
24:36It's going around.
24:37It's going around.
24:38It was an unusual location when he took the call.
24:41Sam.
24:42Me again?
24:43The...
24:44He was in the bathroom.
24:45Correct, sir.
24:46He was indeed.
24:47He was in the bathroom.
24:48What's your Sam?
24:49You know, Tom mentioned before that you'd moved to Ireland because of that guy.
24:53Yeah, yeah.
24:54It's interesting because Tom all year has said about Trump that you've always said this,
24:57that he gets stuff done, haven't you?
24:59Yes.
25:00Yes or no.
25:02Yes or no.
25:03It's been a great show.
25:04Give me a minute.
25:05No, it goes in.
25:06Ignore him.
25:07Ignore him.
25:08Ignore him.
25:09All right, next question, please.
25:10All right.
25:11What unexpected news, everyone but Sam, did fans of The Simpsons get to hear this week?
25:18Kitty.
25:19Is that Flanders pansexual now?
25:20Is that going to be a shocker, Sam?
25:24Ah, Pooh got deported.
25:25Is...
25:27Good one.
25:28Ah, Pooh's still part of it.
25:30Anyway, Chris, help us out.
25:31Another movie, right?
25:32Correct.
25:33In 2027, 20 years after the first film, there will be a movie sequel.
25:37Chris, point to yours.
25:38There you go.
25:39Have you ever been on The Simpsons, Rosie?
25:40Never, but they make fun of me a lot.
25:43My kids think it's a riot.
25:45Oh, listen to what they said to you today!
25:48Rosie?
25:49Yes.
25:50You know, you've made, like, your story career, like Tom said,
25:52we've only just touched the surface.
25:53Yeah.
25:54You've done everything, movies, television, first time in Australia.
25:57Can you believe that that man right there is the host of a television?
26:01I can.
26:02I've been watching and I think he moves the show along beautifully.
26:08Thank you, Rosie.
26:09You're welcome, Tom.
26:11You're very welcome.
26:12Thank you, Tom.
26:13Wow, you're a good actress.
26:16You're good.
26:17We'll talk more about the Trump thing at the commercial.
26:19We do indeed.
26:20Okay.
26:21Sorry, Rosie, on that same question, you've been in Australia for one day.
26:24Can you believe this man has a Tonight Show on?
26:27I'm going to be there.
26:28You're on it.
26:29I'm going to be there.
26:30I can't wait.
26:31What are you going to ask me?
26:32A lot of questions.
26:33Like these, I'm going to come with 37.
26:37All right.
26:38Next question, please.
26:39All right.
26:40Jennifer Lopez opened up in a brand new interview.
26:43Take a look.
26:44I have to say, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
26:47It was the best thing that ever happened to her.
26:49What's she talking about, Kitty?
26:50Auto-tune.
26:51It was.
26:52It was.
26:53It was.
26:54It was.
26:55It was a breakthrough moment.
26:57That was good, though.
26:58That was good.
26:59On a more personal level.
27:01Denise.
27:02Her bottom.
27:03You know, it's so round and you'd have to love having a bottom like that.
27:08Look at your face, Rosie.
27:09Yes.
27:10I'm thinking about that button.
27:11Yes.
27:12You wouldn't grab it.
27:13You wouldn't.
27:14I might.
27:15Yes.
27:16So it's not bottom related.
27:18What's JLo all about here?
27:19Chris?
27:20This is like breaking news for me.
27:21Leaving Ben Affleck, right?
27:23Divorce?
27:24Correct.
27:25Chris, you were right again.
27:26Well.
27:27Yeah.
27:28Thanks, Rosie O'Donnell.
27:29You're welcome.
27:30Points are yours, Chris.
27:31We've got to take a break.
27:32You can see Rosie at the Sydney Opera House this Thursday or in Melbourne at Hamer Hall,
27:37October 19.
27:38Would you please thank Rosie O'Donnell?
27:51Welcome back to watching Have You Been Paying Feature and it's time to put each of our contestants
27:55individually to the test with one of our all-time favourite challenges.
28:00Here we go.
28:01Oh, yeah.
28:02Over or under.
28:09I think you know the rules.
28:12We've pulled over a driver.
28:14You tell us if they're safely under the legally prescribed alcohol limit or just a little
28:20bit over.
28:21Sam, let's start with you.
28:27Yes, Sam?
28:28You look like an old stripper.
28:30I think you look hot and I feel that square gap closing.
28:38Thank you both.
28:39Alright, we're heading to Adelaide for your random breath test.
28:43Just come from a barbecue.
28:44How many have you had?
28:46Sorry?
28:47How many you drink?
28:48Oh, I've just finished a glass of red about 15 minutes ago.
28:54Blow through the straw and I'll tell you when to stop blowing.
28:56Just one more.
28:57Not too hard though.
28:58Hang on.
28:59Blow like you were blowing.
29:02Just one breath.
29:03I'll say when to stop.
29:04Hang on.
29:06Blow through the straw.
29:07I'll say when to stop.
29:08Don't suck on the straw first.
29:09I blew.
29:10Oh, you must have sucked.
29:12Now, try again.
29:13So blow on the straw.
29:14I'll say when to stop.
29:15Keep going.
29:16Keep going.
29:17Keep going.
29:18Stop.
29:19I'm 71 years old.
29:20Sam, after drinking a few reds, is 71-year-old Kingsley over or under?
29:29Well, I did enjoy the bit where he was struggling to blow.
29:33And as a general rule, I don't think it's a great move to get frustrated with the cross.
29:38No.
29:39I think that was the crossed arms thing going, didn't it?
29:41Yeah.
29:42But I like the tactic late where he thought, I'll win this cop over by randomly yelling
29:46at my age.
29:47I like that one.
29:48So?
29:49Eight years.
29:50Cooked.
29:51Sam, let's see if you're right.
29:52No worries.
29:53With a full licence, your result is negative.
29:54Sorry, Sam.
29:55Can't give you the points.
29:56Can I just say, Tom?
29:57That's very surprising.
29:58Sometimes there are misdirects from the police.
29:59Sorry, Sam.
30:00He's under.
30:01Hey, Denise.
30:02Yes?
30:03The sirens have been turned on for your stopped motorist.
30:0678 year old Sergio has had a night he'd rather forget.
30:08Well, we just got from the party, and had enough bloody trouble there, and the music
30:25put up that bloody loud, and the people there, bloody bloody ear.
30:29Have you had anything to drink tonight, sir?
30:31A couple of glasses, a beer, and I think a little bit of vodka, and the water from Europe.
30:40One breath until I say stop.
30:41The breathalyser should clear the air.
30:43Oh, my God.
30:44I got drugs, and I went to the flash, and it was bloody bullshit.
30:51Now, Denise, Sergio, he's a bit tired and emotional.
30:53Yes.
30:54So, has some beer and a little bit of vodka imported from Europe put him over or under?
31:00Well, I think he's so over.
31:09Yes, Kitty?
31:10Tom, is it possible to get the picture up again?
31:12Because I just want to protest that I think Denise has inside information.
31:15I think she's in the car.
31:16All right.
31:17All right.
31:18So, this is so awful for my partner, John.
31:34On this national television, but how could you resist?
31:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:41And we were at the party, and I reckon he's over.
31:45Denise feels that Sergio is clearly over.
31:48Let's see if you're right.
31:49Oh, wow.
31:50Thank you, Denise.
31:51Points are yours.
31:52Sorry, that is over though, right?
31:53Yeah, over, yeah.
31:54Oh, is it?
31:55Yeah.
31:56Oh, is it?
31:57Yeah.
31:58Someone doesn't know the legal word.
31:59What?
32:00I was just distracted by the 69.
32:03I thought it did.
32:04I thought it did.
32:05I thought it did.
32:06I thought it did.
32:07I thought it did.
32:08I thought it did.
32:09Oh, is it?
32:10Yeah.
32:11Someone doesn't know the legal word.
32:12What?
32:13I was just distracted by the 69.
32:15I thought it did.
32:16I thought it did.
32:17Hello.
32:18Hello.
32:19I thought it did.
32:20I thought it did.
32:21I thought it did.
32:22He was over.
32:23Denise, the points are yours.
32:24Ed, your driver has passed the breathalyser, but the cops are not done yet.
32:29So, what are you up to tonight?
32:30I've just finished fishing, actually.
32:32I've caught five squid.
32:34Five squid?
32:35Five squid?
32:36So, just grab the blue bit of plastic and let the pink pads.
32:38Yeah.
32:41Okay.
32:42This will take a couple of minutes.
32:44Yeah, you're all right.
32:45I just need to run a check.
32:46Clean as a whistle.
32:47I don't drink, don't take drugs.
32:48So, fishing's my drug.
32:49Oh!
32:52Now, Ed, Peter claims that fishing is his drug.
32:56Is he positive or negative?
32:58Well, fishing's also my drug.
33:00Well, fishing and pingers.
33:02Okay.
33:03No, no, no.
33:04He's passed the breathalyser.
33:06Yeah.
33:07So, this is for drugs?
33:08Yes.
33:09All right.
33:10What was he catching?
33:11Squid.
33:12I'll tell you, he's a real catch, isn't he?
33:14So, I...
33:15No, you know what?
33:16I'm sick of people like you.
33:17Good blokes like him.
33:18He's out there doing something.
33:19Catching squid.
33:20That man is zero, he's under, and he's a good kid.
33:23Because he's not into drugs.
33:24Fishing is his drug.
33:27Ed, um, let's see if you're right.
33:30Ed, Peter, your drug results are all negative.
33:32Negative.
33:33Yes.
33:36He was, however, charged with driving a Commodore.
33:38So, that's a separate opinion.
33:40But, Ed, points to yours.
33:42Kitty.
33:43Over.
33:44Now, let's see how one of the ladies' fairs.
33:49Officers have pulled over dental nurse Janita
33:52for a roadside alcohol screening.
33:54Hi there.
33:55How are you doing tonight?
33:56Good, thanks.
33:57With her family on board,
33:58Janita took the wheel as designated driver.
34:01Have you had anything to drink today?
34:02A couple of cocktails, one beer.
34:05Mmm.
34:07But Janita's drinks tally started before the function.
34:10On the two and a half hour drive to Geelong,
34:13from Warrnambool.
34:14I just need one long breath into the straw.
34:18Sip, that's it.
34:22Kitty, has drinking a couple of cocktails
34:25put designated driver Janita over or under?
34:28I'm actually going to be in Warrnambool soon,
34:30so I look forward to seeing you there, Janita.
34:35Yes, Sam.
34:36All tickets still available.
34:39The tour has just been announced.
34:40It's going to sell out very quickly.
34:42What do you reckon about Janita?
34:43Look, I don't think she meant to be.
34:45Oh.
34:46Um, but I think that she might be just a little bit over.
34:49Wow.
34:50Just a little bit, but she didn't mean to be.
34:51Okay.
34:52Let's see if you're right.
34:57Oh!
34:58I told you.
34:59Try on, babe.
35:00I think I need extra points,
35:01because I said it was only going to be a tiny bit.
35:03You said she was over, right?
35:04Yeah.
35:05Yeah.
35:06So you get the points.
35:07No, I want extra points.
35:08Oh.
35:09But she's not over.
35:10The writing was red, and that means she's over, okay?
35:12Red is over.
35:13You've got to be under 05, you're under arrest.
35:15Does no one know the song?
35:16Exactly.
35:17Exactly.
35:18And Janita, I mean, you have one too many slippery nipples, and that's what that's going to happen.
35:21Ah!
35:22Kitty points are yours.
35:23Chris, let's bring this thing home.
35:25I can't believe this is a television program.
35:27Oh, yeah.
35:28It's you.
35:29It is you.
35:30All right, Chris.
35:31Chris, this car full of revellers has caught the attention of law enforcement.
35:35Have you just come out of the pub tonight?
35:37I have, yes.
35:38Did you have a couple?
35:39I did have a couple.
35:40How are you feeling about that?
35:41Oh, yeah.
35:42How are you going, babe?
35:43A bit, how are you going now?
35:44I have one point, one schooner, and another point.
35:51All right.
35:52Two points in the schoon.
35:53I think I have maybe one or two shots in the middle of there somewhere.
35:56Yeah.
35:57Here we go.
35:58Okay, you're right.
35:59Here we go.
36:00One long breath into the straw.
36:02Jesus.
36:05All right.
36:06Taryn's admitted to drinking quite a bit at the pub, but is he over or under?
36:10Well, it looks like 11am.
36:14Broad daylight.
36:15Also, that's a real warning about those stretchy earrings, right?
36:18Yeah.
36:19That looks like a bag of shaved ham on his head.
36:21Yeah.
36:22It's not a great situation.
36:25Yes.
36:26At least the policewoman was having fun with it, wasn't she?
36:28Yeah.
36:29It was a big catch, I think, because these guys are totally over, surely.
36:33So you think, you think Taryn is over?
36:35I'm putting all money on over, yeah.
36:36No way.
36:37Let's see if you're right.
36:38Come on, Taryn.
36:39Come on, Taryn.
36:40That's fine.
36:41Yeah.
36:42Be serious.
36:43You're superhuman.
36:44This show is crazy.
36:45What is the lesson there?
36:46Kids are like, great.
36:47A couple of shots and away I go.
36:48Sorry, Chris.
36:49Can't give you the points.
36:50And all too soon, that brings us to the end of...
36:51Over or Under.
36:52Back with more, have you been paying attention right after this.
36:54We're back to watching, have you been paying attention.
36:55Hands on buzzers.
36:56Ooh, another week, another courtroom sketch.
36:57What are we looking at there?
36:58Chris.
36:59Chris.
37:00I know this.
37:12It was Diddy, and the answer is that he did.
37:14Yeah.
37:16Oh, another week, another courtroom sketch.
37:20What are we looking at there?
37:23Chris.
37:24I know this.
37:25It was diddy, and the answer is that he did.
37:27did to Germany where police are delaying the opening of the Oktoberfest beer
37:38festival today due to what Chris wine fest was before but you can't drink wine
37:44what happened what delayed Oktoberfest police had to step in kitty was it a beer shortage it was no
38:02no it was really beer but there was something that well it was a threat or something Denise
38:06a bomb thank you Denise and what a bomb threat or there's been mass protests across Italy
38:13what are those Italians angry about Kitty all the vaping look at it
38:23there's a new restaurant open that puts cheese on the marinara
38:30Sam it's the new uh concrete garden tax
38:36it's not anyway it's a big burning but Chris this is about the intercept dead flow
38:45telemission right to Gaza trying to bring in humanitarian I'm happy about that to being
38:49interceptors okay it's time to get a little sweaty with a bit of this
38:53and tonight's sports segment is brought to you by Telfast try Telfast for non-drowsy hay fever
39:06relief it's a no-brainer what have James Tedesco and Tameka Upton just done for the second time
39:13Denise uh the second time the year 10 formal is Chris the Dali M the Dali M Dali M Dali M
39:23with a bit of assistance from the back row I'll give you the points Chris okay Sam we've had a lot
39:29of guest quizmasters video quizmasters over the season what if I was to say the name Conrad Sewell
39:35listen I don't I don't know what happened right but all I said once was I think okay it was related
39:45to Super Bowl and I went with Beyonce and I said why would you go with Beyonce when you go with the
39:51steady hand of Conrad Sewell right that was all I said hold that thought because I believe we have
39:57a special video quizmaster standing by goodness you're gonna keep such a steady hand when you
40:03call us in these things oh hey Tom everyone Samuel what was I doing at the NRL grand final last night
40:13what was Conrad doing at the NRL grand final last night Kitty waiting tables no more prestigious than
40:21nice well it's polish he's obviously very good at polishing um wiping the scores of the whiteboard
40:28more prestigious more prestigious Sam well you know he's such a talented artist I mean I can only
40:35assume he was singing the national anthem he did indeed and um he probably nailed it
40:41Sam I will pay that he sang the national anthem of course huge win to the Broncos this came as a
40:50surprise the AFL has ditched a tradition dating back almost 140 years what is the tradition Chris
40:58shower time cuddles is
41:00Denise please let it be the team singing the victorious team singing their theme song
41:09sadly Denise that's still with us but they have got rid of Sam Chris I apologize that's the worst
41:20tucker I've ever seen in the NFL it's got too insensitive and you can't do that Denise
41:25Kitty what tradition have they got rid of from the AFL is it the bounce at the start
41:32the bounces they're still keeping mad monday homophobia but they're getting rid of the bounce
41:41Kitty points yours oh big week for tennis legend Rafael Nadal he's just received what honor
41:46Kitty I think he's going to play the elf in the Christmas package
41:50has he won the lampshade making and he went as a lampshade no it's often you get this it's an
42:01honorary access to the Qantas lounge okay
42:05honorary doctorate degree yeah honorary doctorate from the University of Salamanca we've got to take a
42:12great winner and a winner isn't it
42:16it's time to close the show out with a little rapid recall and tonight's rapid recall is proudly
42:28brought to you as it has been all year by UE you haven't shopped around until you tried UE not
42:33only great insurance but they're responsible for the first Ed Cavalli ad campaign to last more than two
42:39weeks so it's incredible start that clock Narelle Jenner and Iggy why are those names in the news
42:48Kitty new sofa range from Ikea and it could be it should be but it's not Sam listen I've got a
42:54message for all of them I'm not your father okay thank you for clearing that up this is an
43:00are they names of cyclones we I didn't know this we pre-named cyclones so that in the upcoming
43:05season that's what they'll be for another week another tariff announcement from Donald Trump
43:09what industry is he targeting this time Chris the wind if it blows in from overseas
43:14it's a tariff it's going to be not quite as general Ed films yeah movies shot overseas 100% tariff
43:23Tesla's CEO Elon Musk has become the first person ever to achieve what Chris got the most amount of
43:31money and least amount of friends right yep Chris I'm gonna pay that his 500 billion dollar net worth
43:37halfway to a trillionaire I'm gonna sell one of my Teslas I'm telling you scientists have made an IVF
43:44breakthrough creating human eggs from Chris Cadbury creaming
43:49amazing human eggs have been created from a particular part of our body it's our largest organ
43:56is it skin cells points are yours kitty this meme has gone viral what's Donald Trump being likened to
44:11kitty some old whore well who's who's Donald been likened to there it's an obvious historical illusion
44:18Sam well that's Marie Antoinette I stand by my answer
44:23hey Nicholas Cage is set to star as the carpenter in a horror retelling of what tale
44:32kitty looks like Keith Urban's divorce
44:34what do you think carpenter's head no it's our lord and savior Jesus Christ Tommy Jesus's childhood
44:42this statue has been described by fans as disrespectful and a travesty who is it who's it meant to be
44:49kitty that's all right that's John Bon Jovi
44:52it's it's a musician it's it's a fame iconic musician Chris come on the artist tried simply their best
44:59thank you
45:02it's Tina Turner thank you Chris
45:06God millions of Aussies did what Sunday morning Chris
45:10well introduce themselves to the person beside them in the bed
45:12and then we got up and kitty and then the clocks went forward people turn their clocks forward for
45:19daylight savings
45:20Gwyneth Paltrow and daughter Apple are starring in a new ad campaign for what
45:25kitty
45:26BCF
45:28is
45:28what a what a get
45:31Chris this is gap isn't it gap closing swag gap now
45:35thank you
45:37oh good news out of the Middle East
45:39oh and we're out of time
45:41let's check that final leaderboard and our winner is
45:44Chris Parker
45:45congratulations to our winner thanks to everyone for being part of the show both tonight and throughout the season
45:56we'll leave you with one final reminder of the need to pay attention when appearing on live TV
46:00give me two more
46:01oh my god
46:03last one
46:03let's go
46:04no Kenny
46:04yeah there we go
46:06good night Australia see you next year
46:10we'll be right back
46:12we'll be right back
46:16we'll be right back
46:17we'll be right back
46:18we'll be right back
46:19we'll be right back
46:20we'll be right back
46:21we'll be right back
46:22we'll be right back
46:23we'll be right back
46:24we'll be right back
46:25we'll be right back
46:26we'll be right back
46:27we'll be right back
46:28we'll be right back
46:29we'll be right back
46:30we'll be right back
46:31we'll be right back
46:32we'll be right back
46:33we'll be right back
46:34we'll be right back
46:35we'll be right back
46:36we'll be right back
46:37we'll be right back
46:38we'll be right back
46:39we'll be right back
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