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00:00Do you see how relationships depend on thought and thought depends on who you are?
00:05And therefore all our relationships just result in continuation of our misery.
00:11No relationship choice ever happens in a vacuum.
00:15I must be someone ready to observe all the choices being made.
00:22The person, the man or the woman, didn't just randomly enter life.
00:26It was a continuation of a pattern of choices.
00:28I have been choosing that way since very very long.
00:32And that very same pattern now made this woman enter my life.
00:36Right?
00:37The same process that brought this shirt to me or this pen to me or my job to me.
00:43That too is going to be related to the marital choice you make.
00:47If you want to change even one chapter, change the entire book.
00:51But at the same time, it does not take much to rewrite the book.
00:56In fact, we are not just entitled but obliged to rewrite the book.
01:02You could either keep following the chapters or you could erase whatever came with the body and write an entirely new story.
01:10First of all, I want to say very, very thankful for improving the life of people like me and clearing various aspects.
01:25I am very, very thankful to you in a very simple way so that we can also understand.
01:32You are welcome.
01:33My question is basically, how the wrong relationships and the thoughts are interdependent.
01:47Basically, in what manner thoughts act in choosing not the right person?
01:55I think I have made you clear or should I speak something else?
02:02It's clear.
02:05See, we'll proceed from...
02:09Thoughts serve to secure the Master.
02:14Right?
02:17Here I am.
02:18I am the Master.
02:18My thoughts exist to secure me.
02:24Me not so much in the physical sense, though also in the physical sense, but more in the psychological sense.
02:34Thought is not autonomous.
02:36Thought has no sovereignty of its own.
02:39Thought is a dependent phenomenon.
02:43Thought is tied to its center and that center is called the Ego.
02:52So, I am the thinker and my thought will exist to save and secure me in the psychological sense.
03:02So, there is the Ego and thought exists so that the Ego remains as it is.
03:07I think a lot, but I will think in a way, irrespective of how much I am thinking, that does not cause me to fundamentally change myself.
03:25I might think continuously, I might think intensely, but just the fact of thinking will not change the thinker.
03:42Irrespective of how much the thinker thinks, thinking will not change the thinker.
03:48What changes the thinker is something very different.
03:52That's observation of thought.
03:53If you can see the thinker thinking thought, that entire triad, if you can see the thinker thinking the thought,
04:05and if you can see that from here as a witness, if you can see the entire process,
04:11there is the thinker, the subject, then there is the object of the thought,
04:17and the relationship between these two is called thinking, the thought.
04:24If you can see that, then things can change, but that does not usually happen.
04:29We usually are not witnesses to our thoughts, are we?
04:32We don't witness thoughts, we just keep thinking.
04:34We remain the subject of thought, not the witness of thought.
04:40We remain the subject of thought, not the witness.
04:43So, we said, the thinker can keep thinking, thinking, thinking,
04:48but thinking will not change the thinker just because he has been thinking.
04:52And the thinker is thinking, therefore, the thinker obviously is not going to hurt himself through thinking.
05:08Since thinking is something that is done by the thinker,
05:12why will the thinker think in a way that hurts his own perceived self-interest?
05:18Will he?
05:19Yes.
05:20Yes.
05:22Thought is not coming to me from the universe.
05:28Thought does not arise in a vacuum.
05:30Thought arises from me, from who I am.
05:35Since thought is my own doing,
05:38why will I think in a way that thought challenges who I am?
05:42Will I allow thought to be that way?
05:44No.
05:45So, thinker is never really challenged by his thought.
05:51Right.
05:51So, I am a person now.
05:53I am the thinker.
05:54And I think a lot.
05:55Let's say I am in the marriageable age.
05:57You are talking of relationships.
05:58We come to that now.
06:00So, I am in the marriageable age or whatever.
06:02I am an adult.
06:03I can have relationships.
06:07Presumably, these are the kind of relationships you are talking of, right?
06:09Yes.
06:10I am talking of men-women relationships.
06:13Men-women relationships.
06:14Yes.
06:15So, I am in that age and I think.
06:19I think as a man, I think about women.
06:21As a woman, I think about men.
06:24And these things are there.
06:25So, whatever thoughts I have will result in a choice because most of us choose through thought.
06:33Correct?
06:34When we have to make a choice, we start thinking.
06:36I am a person.
06:39Let's say I am a man.
06:40I want to choose a woman.
06:42The choice is based on my thought.
06:45And thought exists to help me remain just as I am.
06:51The woman is coming to me through choice.
06:56Choice is made the process of thought.
07:00And thought exists to let me remain exactly as woman.
07:05So, what kind of woman will I choose?
07:11I will choose a woman who pleases me, ingratiates me,
07:18but never really challenges me to the core.
07:24Some amount of challenge is okay.
07:25That is fun.
07:29Let the two of us play air hockey.
07:31We are challenging each other.
07:33So, that kind of...
07:34Or Karam.
07:34We are challenging each other in Karam.
07:36That kind of challenge is alright.
07:39But if somebody challenges you to the core,
07:42shakes you up to the foundations,
07:44that's not admissible.
07:45Or is that?
07:45No man wants to admit such a woman in life
07:49who will like challenge his basic philosophical underpinnings.
07:56Hello, you, Mr. Dualist.
07:59And the fellow is a hardcore dualist.
08:02And the woman comes in and says,
08:05No, no, no.
08:05This won't do.
08:06All your dualism is nonsense.
08:08The man is never going to let her in.
08:13Do you see how relationships depend on thought
08:16and thought depends on who you are?
08:18And therefore, all our relationships
08:20just result in continuation of our misery.
08:24Not just continuation actually.
08:28Enhancement.
08:28Aggravation.
08:29I am already bad.
08:34And through the thought process,
08:37I make a choice
08:39that makes my condition
08:41worse.
08:43I will always choose a woman
08:44who does me no good.
08:48And if a woman exists,
08:50coincidentally,
08:52who can be of
08:53real help to me,
08:55the job of thought
08:57will be to
08:58push that woman aside.
09:03Reject her the first thing possible.
09:05Because
09:05she is the one
09:06who will shake you up.
09:09She will
09:09move into your house
09:11and the house will collapse.
09:17Ditto for the other combination.
09:20As a woman,
09:21you don't want a man
09:22who will challenge
09:23your most fundamental beliefs.
09:25What changes
09:34we need to make
09:35regarding those thoughts?
09:39Like you have suggested
09:40some thoughtless
09:41No, not thoughtless.
09:46See,
09:48it cannot be addressed
09:49at that level.
09:51Only in that domain
09:53where a person
09:54is to be chosen
09:55for a relationship.
10:00That's probably
10:01the most hurtful.
10:03So that's the place
10:04we want to address first, right?
10:06Because if you
10:07make a bad choice
10:09with respect to
10:10a t-shirt,
10:12doesn't hurt that much.
10:13But when you make
10:14a bad choice
10:15with respect to a man,
10:16it hurts much deeper
10:18and for much
10:20longer probably.
10:21So we want to talk
10:22of that.
10:24But talking of that
10:25alone
10:25might not be very helpful.
10:29The person,
10:30the man or the woman
10:31didn't just
10:32randomly enter life.
10:35It was a continuation
10:36of a pattern of choices.
10:37I have been choosing
10:40that way since
10:41very very long
10:41and that very same
10:44pattern now
10:45made this woman
10:46enter my life.
10:47Right?
10:48I just want
10:49to somehow
10:52surgically remove
10:53this woman
10:53from my life
10:54while keeping
10:56all the other
10:56entrants
10:57in.
10:59That won't do.
11:00the same process
11:03that brought
11:04this shirt
11:05to me
11:05or this pen
11:07to me
11:07or my job
11:09to me
11:10or my
11:12religious beliefs
11:13to me
11:13or my
11:16political
11:17associations
11:18to me.
11:20You're leaning
11:21towards the
11:22conservatives.
11:24No,
11:24no.
11:25Mind you,
11:27that too
11:27is going
11:29to be related
11:29to the
11:31marital choice
11:33you make.
11:36Unless I am
11:37ready to
11:38challenge
11:39the very
11:39center
11:40from where
11:40all the
11:42choices are
11:42made,
11:43it will not
11:44be possible
11:44to rectify
11:45one
11:46particular
11:47choice.
11:49If I am
11:50someone who
11:50says I am
11:51not going
11:51to challenge
11:52my political
11:53beliefs
11:54but I want
11:57exactly the
11:58right woman
11:59in my life
11:59it is not
12:00going to be
12:00possible.
12:02Your political
12:03beliefs
12:04are a reflection
12:05of your ego
12:06and if you
12:09staunchly
12:10adhere to your
12:11political beliefs
12:11that means
12:13you are very
12:14particular about
12:15saving,
12:17protecting
12:17your ego
12:18ego and if
12:20that is the
12:21case,
12:21then the
12:22woman you
12:22will get
12:23will be
12:25just your
12:27ego in
12:28another
12:29shape,
12:30another name,
12:31another gender.
12:32I want to
12:39give the
12:39example of
12:40myself.
12:42I feel I
12:43am a
12:44revolutionary
12:44person.
12:45I always
12:46do something
12:46different.
12:48But regarding
12:49relationships,
12:50I now choose
12:52some wrong
12:52person.
12:54how can I
12:56relate my
12:57revolutionarism
12:59with the
13:00choice of
13:00the wrong
13:01person?
13:01You will
13:02have to
13:02reflect on
13:03everything.
13:03See, no
13:04relationship
13:05choice ever
13:06happens in a
13:07vacuum.
13:09I must be
13:10someone ready
13:11to observe
13:13all the
13:14choices being
13:15made.
13:16When all
13:17the choices
13:18are of a
13:21certain
13:22standard,
13:25then the
13:27personal
13:30choice in
13:31terms of a
13:31man or
13:31woman, that
13:32too carries a
13:33certain
13:33standard.
13:36If I am
13:37someone who
13:37is reckless
13:38in choosing
13:42the kind of
13:44jewelry to
13:45wear, or
13:47the next
13:47car or
13:48the next
13:48job, what
13:50are the
13:50other things
13:50we choose?
13:52Our
13:52friends, or
13:54books, objects
13:56of common
13:57choice.
13:58If I do
13:59not know how
14:00to make
14:00choice with
14:01respect to
14:02these objects,
14:03how will I
14:04know how to
14:04choose when
14:05it comes to
14:06choosing someone
14:07for marriage,
14:08let's say, or
14:09for a
14:09relationship,
14:10whatever?
14:12These are
14:12not unrelated.
14:14I must be
14:15into it
14:1524-7,
14:17because I'm
14:18choosing 24-7,
14:19so I must be
14:20observing 24-7.
14:22And if I am
14:22constantly
14:23improving the
14:25process of
14:26my choice,
14:28then when it
14:30comes to a
14:31man, I'll
14:32obviously be
14:33making a
14:34great choice.
14:38See, I can
14:41put it this
14:41way.
14:46You read a
14:49book once,
14:50right?
14:53It had, let's
14:55say, 80
14:56chapters.
15:00Now, again,
15:01you have
15:01picked up that
15:02book.
15:04This time,
15:05some other
15:05publisher,
15:06some other
15:09font,
15:10some other
15:11size,
15:12number of
15:14pages has
15:15changed,
15:17the cover
15:17has changed,
15:18all those
15:18things have
15:19changed,
15:19the page
15:20quality,
15:20paper quality
15:21has changed.
15:21chapter 26.
15:31When you
15:31read the
15:32book last
15:33time,
15:35was
15:35obsession.
15:41That was the
15:41title of
15:42chapter 26.
15:42when you
15:46read the
15:47book last
15:48time,
15:48was titled
15:49Obsession.
15:51And chapter
15:5127 was
15:55titled
15:55Suffering.
16:01Now, this
16:02time, when
16:03you read
16:03the book,
16:05you find
16:06chapter 1
16:07till chapter
16:0726 are
16:08exactly as
16:09they were
16:10in the
16:11previous book.
16:12you are
16:14again reading
16:14the chapter
16:15sequentially.
16:16You have
16:16come till
16:17chapter 26.
16:19And chapter
16:1926 is
16:21exactly the
16:21same as
16:22it was
16:22last time.
16:23Chapter 1
16:24till 26
16:25have all
16:26exactly been
16:27the same
16:27as they
16:27were last
16:28time.
16:29Now, this
16:30time, in
16:30this particular
16:31book, can
16:31chapter 27
16:32change?
16:35That's what.
16:37For chapter
16:3727 to
16:38change, you
16:39will have to
16:39write an
16:39entirely new
16:40book.
16:40book, you
16:42cannot say
16:43all other
16:43chapters will
16:44remain the
16:45same, but
16:45one chapter
16:45has to
16:46change.
16:47Is that
16:47ever possible
16:48in any
16:48book?
16:51Cover page
16:51can change,
16:54line spacing
16:55can change,
16:56probably even
16:57the colour
16:58of the ink
16:58can change.
17:01All those
17:02things can
17:02change.
17:04But after
17:05chapter 26,
17:06which is
17:06Obsession,
17:08chapter 27,
17:08which is
17:09suffering,
17:09will always
17:12be there.
17:13That cannot
17:13change.
17:14If you
17:15want to
17:15change even
17:16one chapter,
17:16change the
17:17entire book,
17:21it is just
17:22pointless to
17:23expect that
17:23all the
17:25chapters will
17:25remain the
17:26same, but
17:26this particular
17:27one should
17:28not turn
17:29into
17:29celebration.
17:31After
17:31Obsession,
17:32you will
17:32have suffering.
17:33The chapter
17:35cannot be
17:35renamed as
17:36celebration.
17:38Can it
17:39be?
17:43Our
17:43expectation
17:44is
17:45unanswerable.
17:53But at
17:53the same
17:54time, it
17:55does not
17:55take much
17:56to rewrite
17:57the book.
17:57In fact,
18:01we are
18:02not just
18:04entitled,
18:05but obliged
18:06to rewrite
18:07the book.
18:11You have
18:12been given
18:13a book in
18:14advance.
18:15Your job
18:15is to
18:17erase
18:18whatever is
18:20already written.
18:21That's called
18:22Neti
18:22Neti.
18:24When you
18:24were born,
18:25you were
18:25born
18:26with a
18:29book.
18:31Now, you
18:31could either
18:31keep
18:32following the
18:34chapters,
18:35or you
18:37could erase
18:38whatever came
18:39with the
18:39body, and
18:40write an
18:41entirely new
18:41story.
18:45But to
18:45expect that
18:46you know,
18:48the chapters
18:49will
18:49miraculously
18:51change into
18:54something
18:55better is
18:57unreasonable.
18:58That's not
18:58going to
18:58happen.
19:02Change
19:02everything.
19:04Change
19:04everything.
19:05Challenge
19:05everything.
19:08We
19:08said
19:08observation
19:0824-7.
19:10Every
19:11small
19:11choice
19:12is like
19:14exercise,
19:15rehearsal,
19:16a workshop,
19:18net
19:18practice.
19:19If you
19:22are not
19:22meticulous
19:23with the
19:24so-called
19:25small
19:26choices,
19:26you will
19:27inevitably
19:28suffer in
19:29the so-called
19:29big choices
19:32because the
19:32chooser
19:33is the
19:35same.
19:36No?
19:39So when
19:40you find
19:41the
19:43sailing is
19:44smooth,
19:44use that
19:47period to
19:50sharpen your
19:53weapons and
19:54deepen your
19:55defenses.
20:00You are
20:00sitting at a
20:01restaurant,
20:01you have to
20:02order food.
20:04You know
20:05how many
20:06combinations of
20:07food items are
20:09possible within
20:10your budget?
20:11Think of
20:12it.
20:14Think of
20:14it.
20:15you have
20:16gone there
20:17and you
20:18are sitting
20:18at the
20:19table,
20:19let's say
20:19all by
20:20yourself,
20:21your budget
20:21is 500
20:22bucks.
20:24For
20:24500
20:25rupees,
20:26the number
20:27of
20:28combinations
20:28that is
20:29possible is
20:29absolutely
20:30staggering.
20:32But do
20:32we pay
20:33attention to
20:34the process
20:34of choice?
20:36Something
20:37is priced
20:37at 80,
20:38something
20:38is priced
20:39at 100,
20:39something
20:39is priced
20:40at 250,
20:42and there
20:43are let's
20:44say 300
20:44things on
20:45the menu.
20:48Can we
20:49have some
20:49mathematician
20:49compute the
20:51number of
20:51possible
20:52combinations
20:52within
20:53rupees 500?
20:54You'll be
20:55astonished.
20:56The number
20:57of such
20:57combinations
20:57will run
20:58into
20:58lakhs.
21:00Now,
21:01out of
21:01these
21:02lakhs
21:02of
21:03possibilities,
21:05which one
21:06do you
21:06choose?
21:07We don't
21:07even choose.
21:08We say
21:08one masala
21:11dosa.
21:14pay attention
21:17to the
21:17process
21:17of
21:18choice.
21:23That got
21:24her excited.
21:24thank you
21:30much,
21:30Nareesh.
21:31I am
21:31always
21:32obliged.
21:34Welcome
21:34to my
21:35life,
21:35especially
21:36your
21:36both
21:37Pratishna
21:37sessions.
21:38I am
21:38following
21:38it in
21:40the
21:41recordings
21:42also.
21:43Thank you
21:43very much.
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