Beavis and Butt-Head Season 3 Episode 1  Comedians - video Dailymotion

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00:00You ever wonder what happens to all the rubber bands and paper clips you lose?

00:11I think they go into some alternate layer of the universe.

00:15Hey, you ever notice these warning labels on shaving cream cans?

00:20They say, do not use near open flame.

00:23Now I know, whenever I go to shave, I like to fire up the old Bunsen burner, you know what I mean?

00:29Coming up next, a comedy superstar who rolled with the punches and laughed all the way to the bank.

00:39Join us for an inside look at Andrew Dice Clay's luxurious lifestyle.

00:48Hey Beavis, I got an idea.

00:52Yeah, me too. Let's go over to Stuart's house and burn something.

00:57No, dumbass. Let's become one of those stand-up chameleons and make a lot of money.

01:03Yeah, money rules.

01:07We're there, dude.

01:09We're gonna be rich.

01:25We're gonna be rich.

01:26kilometer

01:53That looks like that dude from Deliverance.

01:59Yeah.

02:00Remember that part with that pig?

02:04That wasn't a pig, Beavis.

02:07That was Ned Beatty.

02:08Oh, yeah.

02:10I've watched that movie seven times.

02:14Me, too.

02:16We all like a pig, boy.

02:19Yeah.

02:23Spit.

02:26Cool.

02:28That's cool.

02:29Yeah.

02:32Whoa.

02:33Fat people.

02:34Yeah.

02:35They don't have enough fat people in videos.

02:38Yeah.

02:39And more spit in videos.

02:43Like people hawking loogies.

02:45Yeah.

02:46More spit and more fat people.

02:50Fat people are cool.

02:52Yeah.

02:53I got my pride.

02:56I drink my wine.

02:58My name is Mug.

03:03My name is Mug.

03:09My name is Mug.

03:12My name is Mug.

03:15My name is Mug.

03:22Hey, okay.

03:22I'd like to remind everybody that I am a professional, okay?

03:26So don't try this at home.

03:27Hey, sorry, folks.

03:28Hey, sorry, folks.

03:33They told me my time's up.

03:35Y'all have been great, man.

03:37Thanks.

03:39Okay.

03:40How about it for Wild Dog Bill, huh?

03:42Okay.

03:43Hey, our next comedian is a young man.

03:47In fact, he's really young.

03:49He calls himself Butthole.

03:52Let's hear it for him.

03:53Uh, what's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour?

04:05Uh, a frog in a blender.

04:11Get it?

04:12Uh, okay.

04:19Uh, here's one.

04:21Uh, how do you keep a moron in suspense?

04:30Uh, I don't know.

04:33Uh, so, uh, this guy says to the bartender, I'll bet you $50 I can pee in that glass and

04:49you'll clean it up laughing.

04:50Get off!

04:52Uh, no, wait.

04:54I mean, uh, he says, I bet you can pee in this, uh...

04:58No, wait.

05:00Get off!

05:01He pees on the bar and pays these people at the table to clean it up.

05:06Uh, no, wait.

05:08Uh, are you gonna finish all those nachos?

05:13Can I have some?

05:15Get off!

05:17Is that what she said?

05:18Okay.

05:19How about it for Butthole?

05:23Hey, wait a minute, folks.

05:25Don't leave yet.

05:26We're just getting started.

05:27We've got a great act up next.

05:29His name is, uh, uh, Beavis.

05:33Hey, this guy is fantastic.

05:35Let's hear it for him.

05:37You ever wonder why so much stuff sucks?

05:51Sometimes I look at one of these little straws and I go, this sucks.

05:59This is cool.

06:00One thing about, like, gym class?

06:11It sucks.

06:14Okay.

06:16Now I'm gonna, like, juggle.

06:18Go for it, Beavis.

06:20This is gonna be cool.

06:21This is mall music.

06:44Yeah.

06:46She has to play in a mall because she sucks.

06:49Yeah.

06:53Children be a...

06:56That's what they say when we're together.

07:00And once are you playing...

07:03Who do you think would win in a fight between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson?

07:09Debbie Gibson would kick her butt.

07:11He-he-he.

07:12Kick her.

07:13He-he-he.

07:14She should join a gang, like Wilson Phillips.

07:18Yeah.

07:18Who do you think would win in a fight between Wilson Phillips and the Bengals?

07:23He-he-he.

07:24He-he-he.

07:25He-he-he.

07:25Uh...

07:27You're the expert, Beavis.

07:29He-he-he.

07:30Shut up, butthead.

07:32He-he-he.

07:32One chick from L7 could kick all their asses combined.

07:36He-he-he.

07:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.

07:38He-he-he.

07:39He-he-he.

07:42Whoa.

07:43He-he.

07:43Cool.

07:44Fire, fire, fire, fire.

07:46He-he-he.

07:47He-he-he.

07:47He-he.

07:48He-he.

07:48What's wrong with you, Beavis?

07:50This sucks.

07:51He-he-he.

07:52Just because you have fire in your video doesn't mean you're cool.

07:54Yeah, but, like, the fire itself is pretty cool.

07:57Yeah, he-he.

07:58No way, Beavis.

07:59Since meals are worse.

08:01Oh, yeah.

08:02He-he-he.

08:03He-he-he.

08:03He-he.

08:05He-he.

08:05Speaker of Fatниц.

08:06He-he.

08:07Mall

08:11He-he.

08:12He-he.

08:12Fire.

08:13Fire.

08:14Fire.

08:15There.

08:16Tommy Lee should've shoved a drumstick up his butt.

08:17Yeah, yeah.

08:17Uh- Stelle.

08:19That would be cool.

08:19He-he-he.

08:20He-he.

08:21He-he.

08:22Whoa.

08:23Ha-ха.

08:24That chick's got metal, pointy things on her boobs.

08:30That's pretty cool.

08:32Yeah.

08:42She's a knockdown, drag it out, pick it up, do it again.

08:47What does that mean?

08:48Who writes this crap?

08:51Yeah, yeah.

08:52Fuck.

08:54We're pretty funny, huh, Beavis?

09:05Yeah.

09:09We should be on TV.

09:13How come that club owner dude didn't like us?

09:17Maybe stupid.

09:19Yeah.

09:21Not everybody can be cool like us.

09:23Yeah.

09:24I don't think I shall ever see anything as stupid as a tree.

09:43Do you like her hair up or down, Beavis?

09:48I think with this particular outfit, it looks better off.

10:03Do you think if this band was playing in the forest, and like a tree fell on them because they sucked, do you think anybody would be there?

10:15No one would hear them because they'd be dead.

10:21Yeah, but what if, like, the tree fell and it only, like, hit a couple of them, and then, hey, Beavis, what are your hands doing in your pocket?

10:27I'm just looking for my lighter.

10:28I'm just looking for my lighter.

10:32Uh-huh.

10:33You've been looking for about 15 minutes.

10:35Yeah.

10:35He, he, he, he, he.

10:36He's eating me.

10:37He's eating me.

10:37Yeah.

10:37He's eating me.

10:38He's eating me there when I see the tree.

10:41Me.

10:42He's eating me.

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