- 4 days ago
Dirty Laundry (2022) Season 5 Episode 2- Who Hooked Up with Someone They Met on the Plane
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00:00There are some secrets we take to the grave and others we plaster online for laughs.
00:04Oh my God! I fucking knew it!
00:07He was a virgin?
00:09I'm your host, Lily Dew. Let's air some dirty laundry.
00:18With me today are some beloved members of theater company Team StarKid.
00:22We've got a vodka martini shaken, not stirred, John Madison.
00:26Hello.
00:27Just like James Bond.
00:29A gin martini jiggled, not shaken, Lauren Lopez.
00:33Hi.
00:34Just like James Bond.
00:36A rum martini shuffled, not jiggled, James Tolbert.
00:39Oh, wow.
00:40Just like James Bond.
00:42And a tequila martini wobbled, not shuffled, Mariah Rose Faith Casillas.
00:47Yeah.
00:48Just like James Bond.
00:50So, tell me, do theater kids have secrets?
00:53Yes.
00:55Like you wouldn't believe.
00:56I also feel like theater kids don't have secrets because we like to tell everyone everything.
01:00Yes.
01:00Yeah.
01:01Okay.
01:01I think there are definitely some secrets that are embarrassing that I know for sure that they don't know about.
01:07And let's just fire those up.
01:09John already shaking.
01:10He's like, I know they don't know everything.
01:11What are you hiding?
01:12Nothing.
01:13Nothing, nothing.
01:14I have nothing to hide.
01:14I'm an open book.
01:15Don't freaking worry about it.
01:16Here's how the game works.
01:18I have a stack of secrets about our guests, and they have to guess who each secret belongs to.
01:22If it's their own, they should make accusations to try and throw people off their trail.
01:27But we could have thrown in a secret about me or our bartender.
01:31Hey, Grant.
01:32What's today's special?
01:33Lily, today's special is a coconut espresso martini.
01:36Here's how scoring works.
01:38You get one point every time you guess correctly, but if it's your own secret and you fool everyone, that is three points.
01:45Sound good?
01:46Yes.
01:46Love it.
01:47Love points.
01:50First secret, who got hit in the head with a bloody fish?
01:55Okay.
01:56Bloody implies big to me.
01:57Yeah, yeah, with a big fish.
01:59Catch of the day.
02:00Who's going out there on boats fishing?
02:03Who likes getting their hands dirty?
02:06None of you are theater kids.
02:07Yeah, yeah, exactly.
02:08I was a Boy Scout.
02:09So it's James.
02:11So was John.
02:11It's not me, but that's why I'm saying if it's not me, it has to be someone who would have the acumen of dealing with fish.
02:18Yeah, big word.
02:19Listen, I have a lot of big words.
02:20Yeah, big word.
02:21But I feel like John would be really great with knowing how to either catch fish, he would know the bait.
02:26I'm really good with both sports and outdoor activities.
02:31John is really good at things.
02:33At things.
02:34At things.
02:34At things.
02:35I actually didn't appreciate how you said you were a Boy Scout, but then said, but John has to be the one because he's also a Boy Scout.
02:42That means you could also be it.
02:43Let's teeter back to what's happening here.
02:45Please, please, bring it on here.
02:46Yeah.
02:46You don't think they could have just been in a deli counter and pissed off with guys?
02:50Seattle?
02:51Seattle.
02:51Seattle.
02:52Hey, hey.
02:53Seattle?
02:53Because you know they're throwing the fish there.
02:55What do you mean they're throwing the fish?
02:56You don't know about that in Seattle.
02:58Everyone knows about this.
02:58They're throwing fish?
02:59They throw the fish in the minus.
03:01Well, since you know so much about this, maybe this happened to you.
03:03No, I've never even been to Seattle.
03:05Can we read the book?
03:05It's my dream.
03:07Who do you think amongst you would have the worst reaction to getting hit by a fish?
03:10Like, you get hit by the book, how do you react?
03:12No, ugh, annoyed.
03:13Let me see your reaction.
03:14Oh my God, I've never even thought about that texture on my face.
03:17Let's see yours.
03:18Ugh.
03:19Okay, sitcoms.
03:20Oh, wow, yeah, I guess there's mugging a little bit.
03:22Mine would be like, how interesting.
03:24I'm going to ponder this.
03:25What is this?
03:26Am I in Seattle now?
03:27I'm really chewing the scenery.
03:29Yeah, Starkid.
03:30Because I don't know what I mean.
03:31Let's get our guesses in.
03:33Who got hit in the head with a bloody fish?
03:36John?
03:36I'm going to say James.
03:37Okay.
03:38Lauren?
03:39James.
03:39James.
03:40John.
03:43Mariah.
03:44Just from how you said wow, I'm going with James.
03:47Will the person who got hit in the head with a bloody fish please take a sip of their drink?
03:52I swear to God.
03:55Oh!
03:57Are you joking my butt?
03:59Seattle!
04:00Seattle?
04:01I actually wasn't.
04:01I was in the Hamptons.
04:04Fancy.
04:04Yes, okay, rich.
04:05So fancy.
04:06Okay, so I used to work as a live-in nanny in the Hamptons.
04:09I was working with this new family.
04:11Glamorous adjacent.
04:12So glamorous adjacent is the key word there.
04:16This was my first week with a new family.
04:18I was there for like five days.
04:20I was driving their convertible Audi around the town.
04:24It was theirs.
04:25Audi sponsor us.
04:25Yeah, it was theirs.
04:26Yeah, it was theirs.
04:28And the top was down and I was going to pick up the kids from camp and I was driving in
04:32this beautiful, rich town and I feel this kind of commotion above me and I'm like, that's
04:38interesting.
04:39There's like a lot of shadows.
04:40I'm like, this is a horror story.
04:41And you know, and so then I feel something hit me so hard, like it's so disorienting.
04:49Something hits me so hard and then falls right here in between my back and seat.
04:54In the Audi?
04:55In the Audi.
04:56In the convertible Audi.
04:57Audi.
04:58Audi.
04:59And so I stopped the car in the middle of an intersection.
05:04Again, I look behind me and there's a gigantic fish and can I use your back?
05:09I wish you would.
05:10And flopping around.
05:11It's live.
05:12Like this.
05:13Enormous.
05:14Live.
05:15In the process of dying because there's blood everywhere and there's scales flying everywhere.
05:20And also out of the sea.
05:21Yeah.
05:22Audi the sea.
05:23Audi the sea.
05:24Audi the sea.
05:25Audi the sea.
05:26Sponsor us.
05:27And so I started screaming bloody murder.
05:30I jumped out of the side of the car.
05:31I didn't even like open the door.
05:33The fish is still in the car on the driver's seat.
05:35You're at a red light?
05:36No, not a red light.
05:37Just stopped in the middle of an intersection.
05:39Of course.
05:40No care for what the light did.
05:41Absolutely.
05:42It's giving like plague.
05:43There's like, it's like a movie where there's cars like like, you know, kind of surrounding
05:47me like trying to get through.
05:48Blood and scales everywhere.
05:50Scales is crazy.
05:51I'm covered in it.
05:52I'm screaming.
05:53I get a beach towel from the back seat.
05:55I open the door and I start hitting the fish to try to get it out because I'm not touching
05:59it.
06:00And so I knock the fish out.
06:02Oh, the cops.
06:03The cops came.
06:04You're joking.
06:05This fish is like dying.
06:06It was actually really sad.
06:07I watched it die on the street.
06:09But everyone's getting out of their car.
06:11The cops come over.
06:12They're like, ma'am, what's going on?
06:14I'm screaming.
06:15I'm like, that fish fell out of the sky into my car.
06:18So I went home and then I had to explain to this new family what happened.
06:23Oh, man.
06:24And I think what happened is that birds were maybe fighting over the fish.
06:27Yes.
06:28That makes sense.
06:29Yeah.
06:30And it dropped.
06:31I can't think of a plague of glutting fish.
06:32Yes.
06:33Crazy.
06:34I've had like 10 years to think about this.
06:36And I think that's what it is.
06:37Okay.
06:38Three points to Lauren for fooling everyone.
06:41Wow.
06:42Wow.
06:43Next secret.
06:44Who got nerve damage by playing tag?
06:46It's giving Mariah.
06:48Why, Lauren?
06:49Yeah.
06:50Why does it mean?
06:51I don't know.
06:52It's just a gut feeling.
06:53That girl falls.
06:54That's why you're like, that girl gets hurt.
06:57That girl.
06:58No, you just go all in.
06:59You jump in.
07:00You do go all in.
07:01That's right.
07:02You never half-ass anything.
07:03Like if you were playing a game with tag, you would be like, I will take down anyone
07:06with me.
07:07And in the process, get some nerve damage.
07:08But I feel like me as an adult would do that.
07:10But like me as a kid, I was really, really shy.
07:12I'm shy.
07:13I can't put hands.
07:15I can't chase you.
07:16Wow.
07:17That feels really aggressive and intense.
07:18I can't do that.
07:19Who's the most injured amongst you?
07:21Like you could have nerve damage.
07:23Leave me alone.
07:24Yeah.
07:25Well, now wait a minute.
07:26Cue into himself.
07:27Why'd you go into bartending, kid?
07:29For my sciatica.
07:30But that's a torture.
07:31Okay, that checks out.
07:33Lily, can it be you?
07:34Can it be you?
07:35Are you available to have?
07:36I have a slip disc.
07:37You do?
07:38And how'd you get that?
07:39Lifting SAT books that were too heavy one summer.
07:42Are you serious?
07:43Yeah.
07:44Okay.
07:45Yeah.
07:46Well, guess what?
07:47They're heavy.
07:48What do you want us to say?
07:49They're not?
07:50Or is it someone that, you know, maybe hasn't had a lot of athletic experience, so they were
07:55playing tag and like went too hard?
07:56Who did sports in school?
07:57I did track.
07:58See?
07:59I found theater and I was like, this is way better.
08:01This is being clarified.
08:02Tag is not a sport you play.
08:04Right.
08:05Yeah.
08:06But you know what track is?
08:07Running.
08:08Guess what tag is?
08:09Running.
08:10Great connection there.
08:11I love puzzles.
08:12I was the worst in track.
08:13I would not have played professional tag in high school.
08:16Yeah.
08:17You had the nerve damage, but then you found the nerve to be in theater.
08:19And then you went.
08:20I think it works out.
08:21Wow.
08:22New nerve.
08:23All right.
08:24Let's get our guesses in.
08:25Who got nerve damage by playing tag?
08:27Mariah.
08:28I'm gonna say John.
08:29Mariah.
08:30Okay.
08:31Lauren.
08:32Mariah.
08:33Sean.
08:34James.
08:35Yes.
08:36Will the person who got nerve damage by playing tag please take a sip of their drink?
08:44Yes!
08:45I fucking knew it.
08:47Points.
08:48Lauren and James.
08:49You know what was so crazy about this is I went and Lauren looked me in the eyes and this
08:53is the thing.
08:54This nerve damage has made it so I've had to alter choreo in Star Kid shows.
08:58Oh my God.
08:59And you guys have both choreographed shows and I felt you guys kind of going this like,
09:02huh.
09:03Huh.
09:04I think I knew it.
09:05This is very theater core.
09:06I had like a theater party when I was like 19.
09:08My parents were out of town.
09:09I had just come home from college for the summer.
09:11That's a co-ed party.
09:12It was a co-ed party and then some people were like well we're gonna bring like our younger
09:16siblings that were like still like 16 and stuff like that and I was like oh so should
09:20we not drink?
09:21My best friend and I go well we're gonna drink.
09:23We're 19.
09:24And we kept taking like shots in my parents garage of just like raw dyeing tequila essentially
09:31and we're singing theater songs like it's just true.
09:34It's true what it is.
09:35And I didn't like party in high school or anything like that so it also felt like this moment for
09:39me of like yeah I'm throwing a house party and like I'm drinking.
09:42And then of course someone goes should we play hide and seek tag pitch black.
09:46I'm from like farm country so there's no lights anywhere and I'm like yeah I'm gonna do that.
09:51Like I'm playing hide and seek tag with a bunch of sober theater kids and I am like trash.
09:56Who are in high school.
09:57Who are in high school.
09:58Who are in high school.
09:59I'm running down there.
10:00I'm plowing and I just straight up take a tumble onto the full street.
10:04And I'm like I don't care I'm still gonna win.
10:06I have so much adrenaline I'm going to win.
10:07And then this fuck ass tenor boy who I don't keep in contact with anymore.
10:12Tenors are done.
10:13He's like always lead pretty boy tenor and he's like well I actually did tag you.
10:17And so I have this fucked up knee.
10:19I go inside.
10:20I'm crying.
10:21My friend who's also trash she washes me off and I get full nerve damage on this knee
10:26for literally this is like 10 years ago and it is finally like somewhat okay now.
10:31The best part about this.
10:32Now she can get back in the tag game.
10:33The best part about it was I was also going to be sneaky and have like a boy spend the night the next day.
10:38No.
10:39Well guess what.
10:40Yeah I couldn't walk.
10:41I couldn't move.
10:42I was literally like incapacitated.
10:44And so now anytime I'm in a show I have to alter all my choreo and stuff because I played tag that one time.
10:50Wow.
10:51It's a theater horror story.
10:52Zero to ten how theater kid was that story.
10:54That was a ten.
10:55Yeah I know.
10:56There was a party that was supposed to be horny and then nothing happened.
10:59Yes it was supposed to be horny and it was like PG is so embarrassing.
11:03You also said raw dogging tequila which is just drinking tequila.
11:06Right.
11:07That's right.
11:08That's just how you'd run now.
11:09For a 19 year old though it had an extra layer to it.
11:12I'm going raw for this one.
11:13I'm raw dogging this fucking tequila my guys.
11:16Alright.
11:17Point to Lauren and James.
11:18Yeah good job.
11:19Next secret.
11:20Who tanked an interview by trying to be badass?
11:23That's John Madison.
11:24That's my first thought.
11:26Come on.
11:27It's John.
11:28John.
11:29I go on a lot of interviews.
11:32But I feel like I go on a lot of interviews.
11:35Yeah yeah why don't we dive deeper into that.
11:37Let's unpack that.
11:38I've been laid off a lot.
11:40And so I have to look for other jobs.
11:43New media is a bitch.
11:44New media is a rough.
11:46It's rough.
11:47James I feel like you do a lot of interviews as well.
11:50Yeah but I don't have to try to be badass.
11:52But here's the thing.
11:53How good are you guys in job interviews?
11:55I use my charm.
11:56That's my first thing.
11:57So I never have to worry about being badass.
11:58But I just come in and I'm very disarming.
12:00It's like hey.
12:01It's very nice to meet you.
12:02I'm so excited to be here today.
12:03You know starting off that way.
12:05You're a good actor.
12:06You can do that.
12:07I can't do that sincerely.
12:08I wish we could know if they booked this job.
12:10If they booked it.
12:11If they booked executive assistant.
12:13Can't you imagine though John walking in with like a cigarette.
12:16Please.
12:17And like a leather jacket.
12:18And being like hey.
12:19Throwing the cigarette on the ground.
12:20Talk about customer success management.
12:22Yeah.
12:23I watched Mad Men once.
12:24John's like sorry I'm late.
12:26He's seven minutes early.
12:27Yeah.
12:28So sorry I'm late.
12:29John actually you're the first tier.
12:31We actually don't even have you.
12:32We're still on the other one.
12:33All right.
12:34Let's get our guesses in.
12:35James who do you think tanked an interview by trying to be a badass.
12:38I'm gonna go with John.
12:39Lauren what's your guess.
12:40John.
12:41John who do you think.
12:42James.
12:43Oh.
12:44Mariah who do you think.
12:45I gotta go back with John.
12:46Will the person who tanked an interview by trying to be badass.
12:49Please take a sip of their drink.
12:51Yes.
12:52All right.
12:53Please.
12:54Why am I so good at this.
12:55Oh my God.
12:56Don't worry.
12:57We're only three questions in.
12:58Hey.
12:59Hey.
13:00Hey.
13:01Hey.
13:02Hey.
13:03Hey.
13:04Well Lauren has gotten everything correct.
13:05Yes.
13:06So far.
13:07Let's go.
13:08Let's hear the story.
13:09When I was in college I knew for a fact that the best way to have a long career in acting
13:15was to get into a grad school.
13:18One of the big ones.
13:19Tisch you go to ACT.
13:20You go to Yale.
13:21You don't ever have to worry about your career ever again.
13:23Absolutely.
13:24You meet all of the people you're supposed to meet.
13:25You're done.
13:26That's right.
13:27You're done girl.
13:28You're done.
13:29I was dead set.
13:30I was like I'm gonna get into one of these schools.
13:31Yeah.
13:32I end up getting called back to NYU Tisch grad school and ACT in San Francisco.
13:38And thank you.
13:39So talented.
13:41So good.
13:42I went to NYU Tisch.
13:43No.
13:44Fine.
13:45Undergrad.
13:46That's true.
13:47It's different.
13:48It is.
13:49It is different.
13:50I was like 20 years old.
13:51I hadn't even graduated college yet.
13:53And it's important to know the kind of person I was.
13:56I was very, very skinny.
13:57I was very, very anxious and stressed.
13:59I had adult braces on at the time.
14:01So what's different?
14:02I don't have braces on.
14:03So done?
14:04The braces are gone.
14:05And this was important to me then.
14:08But I was a virgin and that also made me very stressful.
14:11It was important to you then?
14:13Well, yes.
14:14Obviously now it doesn't matter.
14:15But what I was...
14:16And this person wasn't important to me then.
14:18And I was a virgin.
14:19Damn it.
14:20So I went to NYU for the call back.
14:22Come on.
14:23And I was surrounded by people who to me looked and sounded like movie stars.
14:26Yeah.
14:27Levine Randolph was there who ended up winning an Oscar for The Holdovers.
14:32Oh my God.
14:33She got a full ride to Yale.
14:34Holy shit.
14:35And so it was a three day audition.
14:37Bender.
14:38There was a day where you interviewed everybody.
14:39There was like a tour.
14:40Oh my God.
14:41There was that part where everyone went around in a circle and talked about why they wanted
14:44to become an actor.
14:45Hell.
14:46Hell.
14:47Hell on earth.
14:48So on the third day you did the audition.
14:49Lauren's already done.
14:50Yeah.
14:51And I did my two pieces which were Hamlet and You're a Good Man, Charlie Bernard.
14:55Yeah, that's right.
14:56You're a good man, Charlie Bernard.
14:57Classic.
14:58And I was in front of the panel of people who ran the school and they said, okay, thank
15:02you so much.
15:03Do you have any questions for us?
15:04And I said...
15:05Can I smoke in here?
15:06Yeah.
15:07Yeah.
15:08I'm telling you, that's what it was.
15:09From behind his ears.
15:10Holy fuck.
15:11Almost as bad.
15:12I said, um, I don't have any questions, but I want to say this.
15:15Oh no.
15:16Oh no.
15:17John.
15:18I know I'm ready for grad school, but is grad school ready for me?
15:26Did they just stare back at you?
15:27And they were like, thank you.
15:32And I left and back to Kansas I went.
15:35It's so funny you saying this now, but back then imagine you exactly the same, but braces.
15:40Well, I do have a photo.
15:41This was, oh, maybe two years after that happened.
15:43We love this photo.
15:44We love this photo.
15:45He was a virgin?
15:48What?
15:49Beckett face out.
15:51So this was like just two years after this happened.
15:56Go.
15:57Or two years before.
15:58This was two years before this happened.
15:59What are the plays?
16:00What are these plays?
16:01Well, the photographer was like, bring something that matters to you.
16:04And so I was like, well, I love plays.
16:05I love plays.
16:06I love plays.
16:07And so they posed me with those plays.
16:09That does seem like a character artist was like, I don't know, plays.
16:13Go ahead.
16:14Yeah.
16:15That is points to everyone except for John.
16:17But he no longer has braces.
16:19Yay.
16:20Next secret.
16:21Who vomited and blacked out on a first date?
16:24No.
16:25Who vomited and blacked out on a first date?
16:27Was that hard when that happened?
16:28I wouldn't know, Mariah.
16:30But.
16:31A first date.
16:32Like an interview in many ways.
16:33It could be Grant though, right?
16:34It could be Grant.
16:35No, I don't drink at all.
16:36So it might be Grant.
16:37Well, because I learned earlier that you have a bartending license.
16:40You're licensed for this?
16:41Here's the thing.
16:42Yeah.
16:43And you know what isn't real?
16:44A bartending license.
16:45Yes, it's not.
16:46I just learned that.
16:47Yeah.
16:48Okay.
16:49Who blacks out?
16:50Who gets a little blackie outies?
16:51I've not blacked out since college.
16:52I don't think I've ever blacked out.
16:53That's what I feel.
16:54I really don't think.
16:55I can't imagine if you've ever blacked out.
16:56Lily?
16:57Sounds like a challenge.
16:58We can get there.
16:59I have been blessed by alcoholics genetics.
17:01I never browned out, blacked out, or ever got hangovers until I hit my late 20s.
17:06And now it's a shit show.
17:07Okay, so.
17:08Do you want to first date in your late 20s?
17:10No.
17:11Okay.
17:12Who's likely to drink a lot on a first date?
17:15Who's getting rowdy on a first date?
17:16Honestly, I think it's James.
17:18What's the drunkest you've ever seen me?
17:20I don't think I've ever seen you.
17:21Because I don't drink that much.
17:22But I've seen story posts of you out at the club.
17:25I go to the club, but.
17:26The club's not a date.
17:27The club's not a date.
17:28But you drink there sometimes.
17:29Yeah, but.
17:30This is now just who drinks.
17:31Yeah.
17:32This is a certain conversation because not a lot of us drink.
17:35Alright, let's get our guesses in.
17:37Who vomited and blacked out on a first date?
17:40Mariah.
17:41Who do you think?
17:42I have to stick with my guns.
17:43I'm gonna say James.
17:44I'm sorry.
17:45Grant, you're my second guess.
17:46James, who do you think?
17:47Grant.
17:48John, who do you think?
17:49Grant.
17:50Fuck.
17:51Lauren, who do you think?
17:52I think it's Grant.
17:53Will the person who vomited and blacked out on a first date please take a sip of their drink?
17:58Okay, I'll take it.
17:59Oh!
18:00Oh!
18:01Oh, it feels good.
18:03I'm so good.
18:04I should have gone with my gut.
18:06Man.
18:07I'm so mad.
18:08This date is why I stopped drinking so much.
18:11Whoa.
18:12And what happened was I was on this really great, fantastic first date with this guy.
18:15I was comfy.
18:16Yes.
18:17He was really awesome.
18:18Like the vibes were immaculate.
18:19Yeah.
18:20Great first date.
18:21I was in this era of trying to impress people by being above my station.
18:25So after we finished dinner, I said, hey, let's go to this bar that's quite near my apartment.
18:29I was like, great.
18:30So we go over there.
18:31I'm not a regular at this bar, but I'm gonna pretend that I am for the purposes of this night.
18:35So we get to the bar.
18:36Love for the story.
18:37And one of the bartenders is back there and I say, hey, what's your favorite shot?
18:42He unironically says, oh, gin.
18:44And I, without a second of hesitation, say three shots of gin.
18:48Cause I want him to take a shot with us too.
18:50The devil's juniper berry.
18:52Speak on it.
18:54So we get our three shots of gin.
18:56And I think I lasted another 10 minutes before I leave the planet.
19:00And I black out at the bar.
19:03Now, mind you, my date is still very about his business and he's like, okay, we should probably go.
19:07Why don't we just like go drop you off at your apartment?
19:09And I'm so drunk that I, A, don't want my roommates to see me drunk.
19:14And B, don't want him to have to take me to my place.
19:17So I say, oh no, let's go back to your place.
19:19So we get in a cab and drive way away from my apartment, which is right there.
19:23Which is right there.
19:24Well, right before we get out of the taxi, you can hear like.
19:26No.
19:27James, no.
19:28And even the taxi driver's like, do not throw up in my taxi.
19:31Oh my God.
19:32And I'm like, I promise I won't.
19:33And we get out and I'm, and all I say is, oh, I can throw up over there.
19:36So I walk over.
19:37Oh, I know where I go.
19:38Essentially like a little alleyway.
19:39This is in New York, by the way, to give you a picture.
19:41And so I walk over and I immediately just like throw up everything that happened in the
19:45last four hours.
19:46What I was not aware of is that right next to me was not a wall, but a window of a restaurant.
19:52And there were people sitting right there.
19:55So they're just watching me expel demons.
19:59And then I remember just looking and just seeing the look of horrified faces.
20:03Did you get a second date?
20:04There were multiple dates.
20:05What?
20:06I will admit just to wrap it up.
20:08I, uh, I fumbled the bag.
20:09I ended up.
20:10Yeah.
20:11Yeah, you did.
20:12Hey, reach out.
20:13If you're a subscriber to dropout.tv.
20:15And I don't drink gin.
20:16That bartender was so mean.
20:18A shot of gin is insane.
20:20God.
20:21That's the one liquor you don't take shots of.
20:23No.
20:24All right.
20:25I point to Mariah.
20:26God.
20:27Yes.
20:28Good job, Mariah.
20:29That's it for round one.
20:31It's time for us to take a quick break.
20:33In the meantime, hey Grant, what are we drinking?
20:39Today's cocktail is a coconut espresso martini.
20:42And I'd like to get ahead of something for the pedants among us.
20:45This espresso martini is not going to use espresso.
20:49I know I should probably call it something else, but I'm making this with a cold brew concentrate.
20:54I'm going to start the day before today with six ounces of ground coffee.
21:00You just dump this into three and a half cups of water and let it sit overnight.
21:04There's your cold brew concentrate.
21:06You are going to strain that once through a mesh filter and then again through a coffee filter.
21:12I'm going to put one ounce of this into my shaker.
21:16Next, I'm going to add one ounce of the secret ingredient for this particular espresso martini,
21:21coconut rum.
21:22Coconut rum is usually like a chemical-y disaster that tastes like sunscreen.
21:26I'm using Plantaray cut and dry coconut rum, which uses real coconuts that get dried in the sun
21:32to infuse that actual true coconut flavor in there.
21:36I don't often recommend brands.
21:38Don't use anything else in this drink.
21:40I'm going to add one ounce of that.
21:42Next, I'm going to add three quarters of an ounce of coffee liqueur.
21:45And while I'm calling out brands, Kahlua is going to do the job for you.
21:48And you want the sweetness that this has.
21:50Finally, we're going to add cream of coconut.
21:53It's processed all the hell, but it's so good.
21:56You can't make this drink without it.
21:57I'm going to add roughly a tablespoon's worth.
22:00Now, it's real gloopy, so I'm just going to kind of eyeball it here with my bar spoon.
22:04Yeah, look at that gloop.
22:06One of the things you lose when you don't use espresso is that sort of brightness and that acidity.
22:11So, I'm going to do just a little bit of lemon peel.
22:14Espress that into my espresso martini.
22:18Now, we're going to ice our shaker.
22:20One of the things you want in an espresso martini is a nice foamy head.
22:23You want to really shake it.
22:24So, let's have fun.
22:26Next, we're going to double strain that into a Nick and Nora glass.
22:34And it's going to get the classic coffee bar garnish of three coffee beans.
22:38Because I can offer the bartender's blessing.
22:41If these beans float, it means this all comes true.
22:44To wealth.
22:45To health.
22:46To happiness.
22:47And I'll tell you a secret.
22:49Coffee beans always float in this cocktail.
22:52The coconut espresso martini.
22:53And we're back.
23:02Let's recap the scores.
23:04We have Mariah with two points.
23:06James with two points.
23:08John with zero points.
23:10Period.
23:11And Lauren with five points.
23:14What?
23:15Wow.
23:16Which means Lauren is in the lead for now.
23:18And John is last place.
23:19John's here.
23:20For now.
23:21And John's here.
23:22I don't know.
23:23He's wearing that jacket.
23:24All right.
23:25Next question.
23:26Who got told off by George Lopez?
23:29My father?
23:31My papa.
23:32My papa?
23:33Okay.
23:34Mariah.
23:35Why me?
23:36No, no, no.
23:37Hold on.
23:38The reason why is because I feel like if you were in a situation with someone like a George
23:40Lopez, I feel like you don't take any bullshit.
23:42You're going to speak up for yourself.
23:43So I think there's like a confrontation here.
23:45Mariah also has anxiety.
23:46I am such a severe anxiety.
23:48Fair.
23:49Fair.
23:50But I literally love that you think I could square up with him.
23:52You could.
23:53I could.
23:54I could.
23:55When thinking about like the situation that it's in, like, could it be like a serving?
23:58Zero points on the board.
23:59Go for it.
24:00Sorry.
24:01Bartender?
24:02Okay.
24:03Yes.
24:04It could have been like someone's veal.
24:05I didn't like this drink.
24:06John was too cold.
24:07I worked at a restaurant for a month and then got fired.
24:10By George Lopez?
24:11Yeah.
24:12Yeah.
24:13What happened?
24:14Did George come in?
24:15No, someone posted a bad...
24:16This isn't my story.
24:17Someone posted a bad Yelp review.
24:18Of you?
24:19Of you?
24:20Yes.
24:21But this is...
24:22All right.
24:23Let's get our guesses at who got told off by George Lopez.
24:27Lauren, who do you think?
24:29I think it's Grant.
24:31People do be telling off Grant.
24:32John, who do you think?
24:33I'm going to say it's Lauren.
24:35Okay.
24:36Papa.
24:37Papa.
24:38She just means a man named George Lopez.
24:40James?
24:41I'll also say Grant.
24:42Mariah?
24:43I'm going to say you, Lily.
24:44All right.
24:45Will the person who got told off by George Lopez please take a sip of their drink?
24:51And I do have anxiety.
24:53Oh!
24:54I actually have very extreme anxiety.
24:57Three points to Mariah.
24:59Back on the board.
25:00Oh my God.
25:01I should have stuck with my gut.
25:02Damn.
25:03Man.
25:04You have to know.
25:05Okay.
25:06So this was during a time when Twitter was in its golden age.
25:09It was probably like 2013, 2014.
25:12And I was really prominent on there because I didn't think that like your tweets could
25:16be read by other people.
25:17Right.
25:18I was like, I'm just talking.
25:19Yeah.
25:20I'm just talking.
25:21It's famously a diary.
25:22It's my...
25:23Especially then...
25:24It'll totally never hurt your Oscar chances.
25:25Please.
25:26And back then, you know, I was in like all the fandoms.
25:27I was on like One Direction Twitter doing my thing.
25:30So I was up late.
25:31And remember like the George Lopez show is like on Nick at Night all the time?
25:35Yes.
25:36Yeah.
25:37And then I think I just looked up George Lopez on Twitter at like two in the morning.
25:40And I saw this post on there of just him and I was like, dang, like, George ain't really
25:44looking the same.
25:45And like, I had like the...
25:46Okay.
25:47Okay.
25:48You came for his looks.
25:49Everyone stop.
25:50Everyone stop.
25:51Again, didn't think people would read my tweets.
25:53And I quote tweeted at the time, 2013.
25:56And I was just like, dang, George Lopez ain't looking the same.
26:01And who comes flying in?
26:05No.
26:06George himself.
26:07Wow.
26:08And I want to say it was like the same night too.
26:11Like him tweeting at me and just being like, wow, well with that attitude, you're never
26:16going to age with grace with a winky face.
26:19And I fully cried.
26:20I fully was like, I hurt his feelings, but I responded back like in all caps.
26:25I was like, George, so sorry about that.
26:27Oh, I'm just being, just being a silly goose little guy.
26:29Like I think you're doing really, really great.
26:30I feel like the lesson is, okay.
26:32Arguably George Lopez is a lot, lot, lot more successful and famous than me or Grant.
26:37Right.
26:38But when people write things to you online, it's like, I see them.
26:41Yeah.
26:42It was before like that time.
26:44Cause I think all of us here is like, oh shoot.
26:46Like when we get comments on videos, like I'm seeing these comments in my defense.
26:49So I didn't like, I'm in on his video and he did.
26:52You quote retweeted.
26:53That gets a notification.
26:54Yeah.
26:55Yeah.
26:56I mean, to be fair.
26:57Have you ever searched your name on Twitter?
26:58It wasn't his tweet.
26:59And it was more, back then you could really search your name on Twitter.
27:02And I think that George was having a night.
27:04He thought someone's probably saying something good about me here.
27:07Maybe he was feeling bad about himself.
27:08And that's the first thing he sees.
27:10I hope someone thinks I look like I used to.
27:12That's what it felt like.
27:13It literally felt like that.
27:14And I went, I'm a bully.
27:16The one thing I've tried my whole life not to be, I'm a fucking bully.
27:19I've circled back to this moment like many, many times.
27:22I'm just like, yeah, people, these are real people.
27:24All right.
27:25Well, three points to Mariah for being a bully.
27:28Super villain.
27:29No, everyone's been dumb online before.
27:31Next question.
27:32Who got kicked in the stomach at Disney World?
27:34Lauren, what happened?
27:37Which one's wrong?
27:38Are any of you Disney people?
27:39Because it kind of seems like you all are.
27:41Oh my, that's offensive.
27:42Musical theater and Disney seem the same.
27:44I work at Disneyland, but that's different.
27:47No, this is what I mean.
27:49You worked at Disneyland?
27:50That's what I'm saying.
27:51Doing professional theater.
27:53He was making a paycheck.
27:55Oh yes, please.
27:56I work at Dropout.
27:58That's way worse.
27:59I've only been to Disney World once.
28:01I was again like 12 or 13.
28:04Races on.
28:05Races did not come on.
28:06Virginity on.
28:08Virginity?
28:09Virginity mode locked in.
28:12It wasn't, it wasn't.
28:13That is something that would happen to a virgin.
28:15Yes.
28:16Virgins get absolutely knocked down.
28:19I hope everyone in Star Wars land has had sex or I'm gonna get mean.
28:22Oh, I'm getting angry.
28:26When I went to Disney World, I went on the figment ride eight times.
28:29And got kicked.
28:30I got kicked.
28:31What is the figment ride?
28:33Wait, and how do you get on the figment?
28:34He means journey into imagination.
28:35Yeah, yeah.
28:36Well, I call it the figment ride because I love dragons.
28:39And I was like, I love that ride.
28:41It's Sayor, not Disney.
28:43I think it's John.
28:44I think it's John.
28:45Okay.
28:46Disney World?
28:47I've been.
28:48I've been kicked.
28:49Alright, let's get our guesses in.
28:50Who got kicked in the stomach at Disney World?
28:53James, who do you think?
28:54John.
28:55John, who do you think?
28:56James.
28:57Whoa.
28:58Mariah, who do you think?
28:59Oh.
29:00Lauren, who do you think?
29:01I am so torn.
29:02I think it's John.
29:03Will the person who got kicked in the stomach at Disney World please take a sip of their
29:06drink?
29:09John gets a point.
29:10No!
29:11Whoa!
29:12Yes!
29:13It felt too easy.
29:14Come on.
29:15Okay.
29:16Disney World.
29:17You don't work.
29:18Wait, you never worked at Disney World.
29:19I never worked at Disney World.
29:20That's interesting.
29:21Okay.
29:22You can get kicked in the stomach when you're not on the job.
29:23You're right.
29:24You're right.
29:25And I had not even opened that possibility and that's on me.
29:26That's on me.
29:27So funny enough, I was 12 when this happened.
29:29Oh, wow.
29:30So we're at the resort playing in the pool as kids do and one of my friends, for reasons
29:35I can't explain, he grabbed my hands and basically kneed me in the stomach.
29:40An hour later, my stomach just started really hurting, like really bad.
29:44With black moms, you have to be on your deathbed before they actually care that you're in pain.
29:49So my mom was like, take some Tylenol, Pepto-Bismol, whatever, we're going to dinner.
29:54Kick it up.
29:55We go to dinner.
29:56I eat, for whatever reason, at 12 years old, order a full slab of ribs.
29:59Okay.
30:00And the pain was getting progressively worse.
30:01I then have a whole night of fever dreams in which I was dreaming of a bridge troll that
30:05was selling me something that I couldn't buy.
30:07And then I woke up.
30:08The nightmare at Disney World.
30:09Just night terrors, really.
30:10And then I woke up the next day and I couldn't walk up.
30:13I'll demonstrate.
30:14I was walking.
30:15He's up, he's up.
30:16I was walking like this.
30:17No.
30:18I couldn't stand upright.
30:19Oh, sweet baby.
30:20And so we got to breakfast, didn't have an appetite.
30:22And then finally my mom and my stepdad were like, okay, maybe something's wrong.
30:25And so the Mickey Mouse ambulance shows up.
30:27Wild.
30:28And takes me to the hospital.
30:29I'm there for a good three to four hours.
30:31And they're like, we don't see anything wrong.
30:33But like you can see the color has left my body.
30:36And I have great color.
30:37When he's not vomiting, passing out, getting kicked in the stomach.
30:40Yes.
30:41And they're like, okay, we don't see anything, but clearly something's wrong.
30:43We're going to send you to Arnold Palmer Children's Hospital.
30:46Love Arnold.
30:47Arnold Palmer.
30:48I love Arnold Palmer.
30:49It's half children, half lemonade.
30:50Half lemonade.
30:51Yes.
30:52Exactly.
30:53Half children.
30:54Half lemonade.
30:55We meet up with this doctor right away.
30:56And all he did was just poke my stomach and said, oh, your appendix ruptured.
31:00Oh my God.
31:01Oh my God.
31:02So I was in surgery about 30 minutes later.
31:04And when I woke up, they said, hey, we're glad you were here.
31:07We estimate that you probably had poison in your stomach for about 18 hours.
31:10What?
31:11And if you had waited another six, you probably would have died.
31:14Oh my God.
31:15Yes.
31:16Oh my God.
31:17And then they would have had to send the Mickey coffin.
31:19Yeah.
31:20We don't want that.
31:22You would have been a Disney death.
31:24Did you enjoy the trip?
31:25Oh, the trip was great.
31:26We had, I mean, I stayed in the hospital for five days and ate a lot of soup and got addicted
31:30to morphine, but everything was great.
31:31Wow.
31:32That is one point to John Madison.
31:34There he is.
31:35Next secret.
31:36Who ran a citywide grift for free food?
31:39Well, I feel like it can't be John because his, his conscience was weighing him way too
31:42much.
31:43I'm going to have you, I'll tell you the truth.
31:44This is way too stressful of like an organization for something for me to do.
31:47Who's the thirstiest for free food here?
31:49Oh, I'm really in that category, but I don't know.
31:51Like who's going to the crafty table and putting it in the bag?
31:54Me.
31:55I'm getting big bags.
31:56Yes.
31:57Everybody get their bags.
31:58I would do that.
31:59I'm almost getting a charity level to this and I'm like, I wouldn't steal.
32:01Yeah.
32:02Who here is a horrible person?
32:03Yeah.
32:04So who here is a liar and a cheese?
32:05Who is the scum of the earth?
32:06I don't know.
32:07Okay.
32:08Free food?
32:09Do anything for free food?
32:10Like what would it be for?
32:11I would do a lot for free food.
32:12I don't think I, I, I would have way too much anxiety to run a grift.
32:14Me too.
32:15And you and I have food stuff.
32:16We have tummy trouble.
32:17That's a great point.
32:18And that's why I think it's Lauren.
32:19Yeah.
32:20I think that was a big deflation.
32:21You think she's doing greater o'clock right now?
32:22Because here's what I'm thinking.
32:23I have a horrible grift.
32:24No, no, no.
32:25Well, those are your words.
32:26Oh my gosh, don't drink that.
32:27Those are, those are, those are your words.
32:28You think she's doing like gluten-free donations.
32:29Yes.
32:30For the core.
32:31For the gluten-free.
32:32For the core.
32:33I don't think you thought it was a grift.
32:34I think that was just the result.
32:35I just fell into a grift.
32:36Yeah.
32:37Unknowingly you fell it.
32:38Yeah.
32:39I think that's why.
32:40What's that one movie like Uncut Gems?
32:41Uncut Gems.
32:42She was doing an Adam Sandler Uncut Gems in the air.
32:45Uncut Gems.
32:46Yes.
32:47I was the muse for Uncut Gems.
32:48All right.
32:49Let's get our guesses in.
32:50Who ran a city-wide grift for free food?
32:52Hey.
32:53Lauren, who do you think?
32:54I keep saying Grant.
32:55I know.
32:56I really do think it's Grant now.
32:57One of these times you're going to be right.
32:58Maybe.
32:59Mariah, who do you think?
33:00Let's start with that.
33:01Yes, we can.
33:02John, who do you think?
33:04Um, I'll say Lauren.
33:05James, who do you think?
33:06Also Lauren.
33:07Wild.
33:08Mariah, who do you think?
33:09I'm going to go with the group.
33:10I'm going to say Lauren.
33:11Will the person who ran a city-wide grift for free food please take a sip of their drink?
33:16I swear to God, bitch.
33:20John.
33:21Back on the board.
33:22John.
33:23John.
33:24It's never over till it's over.
33:25It's not over.
33:26It's never over till it's over.
33:28Wow.
33:29Tell us the story.
33:30I was living in Chicago for about-
33:32Grift City.
33:33Yeah, Grift City.
33:34Um, I had a theater company, uh, Rediscover Theater.
33:36A grift.
33:37And we, um, had-
33:38It was my job, of course.
33:39Grift.
33:40Absolutely.
33:41Uh, we have a fundraiser every year and it was my job to get, like, food and figure
33:46out food.
33:47And I was like, what if we go around to all the local pizza places in, like, all the different
33:52neighborhoods and be like, yeah, we're having a competition for best pizza.
33:55We're gonna pick our favorite pizza place in your, in Lakeview or in Logan Square.
34:00And the story was different every time.
34:02Yes, of course.
34:03And, um, on the day of the event, we got, like, 30 to 40 large pizzas of different types
34:10from, like, 30 or 40 different pizza places and fed everybody a pizza and-
34:15But we did end up picking one.
34:17We didn't really have a contest or a vote.
34:18We just picked our favorite casually and then gave them a little plaque that was like-
34:23That's-
34:24That's not a grift.
34:25You had a pizza contest.
34:26Well, there was no-
34:27Well, yeah.
34:28I knew he wasn't-
34:29But it wasn't for that.
34:30It was John.
34:31He didn't break the law.
34:32Okay.
34:33Okay.
34:34Okay.
34:35Okay.
34:36So much as someone wins in a pizza contest.
34:38Right.
34:39You gave a fair award.
34:40It wasn't for-
34:41Yeah, but we didn't really debate on it.
34:43They gifted you.
34:44Yeah, what?
34:45They scammed a plaque out of you.
34:46Yeah.
34:47Okay.
34:48It was like 20 bucks for a plaque.
34:49Yeah, how much do you think a pizza is?
34:50But they got 30 pizzas.
34:51Hey, that's 30 to 40 pizzas.
34:52So that's math.
34:53That's a lot.
34:54Shout out the winning pizza place.
34:55Um, I don't remember.
34:56I was thinking Ray's.
34:57Come on.
34:58I think it was like Ray's on the corner of Addison and-
35:01It's all free pizza to me.
35:02Yeah.
35:03Quote John Madison.
35:04Yeah.
35:05They're in Wellington, but I think-
35:06I don't think they're here anymore.
35:07Grant, as a-
35:08On a scale of zero to ten, how theater kid is this?
35:10Well, it sounds like it was supposed to be horny somehow and no one got laid, so-
35:15Yay!
35:16Very theater-y.
35:17That is three points to John.
35:19Wow, John.
35:20The ultimate grift.
35:21Wow.
35:22Good job, John.
35:23Huge grift.
35:24There's so much about that.
35:25Next secret.
35:26Another city-wide secret.
35:27Who apologized to everybody in Los Angeles?
35:30That would take a while.
35:31Good.
35:32Now I want to say Lauren again.
35:33Right.
35:34Are you thinking me?
35:35Yes.
35:36Because I feel like even just on your story, sometimes you're like, sorry everybody, I'm
35:39doing this thing.
35:40Sorry.
35:41And I'm like, you did that three times two weeks ago.
35:42No.
35:43I don't know.
35:44Mariah, I'm sorry.
35:45Oh, you're sorry.
35:46I understand.
35:47No, okay, I did just say I'm sorry.
35:48Yeah, uh-huh.
35:49But no, no.
35:50That's just women be women.
35:51Yes, we're just being women.
35:52I can't fight that.
35:53This is social conditioning.
35:54Yes, it is.
35:55That to me is so Mariah.
35:56It's so me core, but why do you say that?
35:57Because you kept roasting all those celebrities and having to apologize for.
36:00Yeah, well I have a lot to apologize for.
36:01Yes.
36:02Yeah, yeah, I think.
36:03You're still atoning.
36:04Here's what I think.
36:05I think it's probably at like a big event of some kind.
36:06Uh-huh.
36:07Sorry, LA.
36:08Hollywood Bowl or something.
36:09You think all of LA's at the Hollywood Bowl?
36:10Oh no.
36:11All of LA.
36:12All of LA.
36:13Who the hell's conducting?
36:15Anyone who matters is at the Hollywood Bowl of LA.
36:19Get your tickets to Dimension 22.
36:21I am.
36:22Wow.
36:23I am hung up on the all of LA thing.
36:25Right.
36:26Because it's like, were they on the news?
36:28Hey LA, I'm so sorry.
36:30You know what?
36:31I'm going to follow the train of thought of Lauren here.
36:33It's Grant.
36:34I don't know what Grant did, but I feel like Grant did.
36:35Yeah, this is the Grant one.
36:36I owe an apology, but I'm not going to get it.
36:38To all of LA.
36:39To all of LA.
36:40Maybe I owe one.
36:41Let's, let's get our guesses in.
36:43Who apologized to everybody in Los Angeles?
36:46Mariah, who do you think?
36:47I'm doing a wild card.
36:48It's James.
36:49Oh, okay.
36:50James, who do you think?
36:51Grant.
36:52I'm sorry.
36:53John, who do you think?
36:54I'm going to say James.
36:55Lauren, who do you think?
36:56Oh my God.
36:57Oh my God.
36:58I'm going to say Mariah.
36:59Will the person who apologized to everybody in LA
37:02please take a sip of their drink?
37:07Lauren!
37:08Oh!
37:09Damn it.
37:10Way to God of its fucking story.
37:11Is it?
37:12What is it?
37:13Sorry.
37:14Tell us this.
37:15So first thing, one of my favorite movies is The Big Lebowski, okay?
37:18Love!
37:19Synespia, which is a cemetery.
37:21Yes.
37:22Dry, a sit-in movie thing here in LA.
37:24Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
37:25Yes, Hollywood Forever.
37:27They were doing a special 420 showing of The Big Lebowski.
37:29This was a few years ago.
37:30420 showing?
37:31I was like, this...
37:32Oh my God.
37:33This would be amazing.
37:34We have to go.
37:35So we made these plans with our friends.
37:37My partner and I, we made it this whole thing.
37:39He got some fun edibles for it.
37:41I don't really like...
37:42I don't imbibe too much, okay?
37:44I'm kind of a lightweight.
37:45And they were chocolate-covered blueberry edibles, okay?
37:48Antioxidant.
37:49Yes!
37:50So healthy!
37:51Very healthy and from the earth.
37:52And for a second, my love for candy overrides my logic.
37:57And so I just go, I want the biggest one.
37:59And so I take the biggest one and I'm like, boop!
38:02And I just eat it without even giving it a second thought, okay?
38:04And I'm a person who needs like a bite of something, you know?
38:07The movie's starting, the opening credits are rolling,
38:10and I suddenly am like, my entire body is high, okay?
38:13And what happens is my friend makes a really benign joke
38:17and I start laughing so hard that I got really scared, okay?
38:21I got so scared with how deeply I was laughing that I was like,
38:24I grabbed my partner and I was like, something's really wrong with me.
38:27And he was like, I think you're just too high.
38:29And I was like, we need to get up now.
38:30And he's like, okay.
38:31So we're walking around the cemetery.
38:33The cemetery?
38:34And guess where they are?
38:36I have to calm down.
38:37I've got to go to a graveyard.
38:38Let's look at our location and let's breathe in the fresh air.
38:41We're in the cemetery.
38:42We've got to walk around.
38:43There's so many people there.
38:44So many.
38:45And I'm talking to him and I'm like, I really, I think I'm dying.
38:47As I'm talking, I hear my voice like it's through a megaphone.
38:50So I'm like, my voice is way too loud.
38:53I'm being way too loud.
38:54And no matter how quietly I'm talking, it's like this entire fucking city can hear what
38:59I'm saying right now.
39:00While I'm telling him that I think I am the first person to ever die from weed.
39:03Yeah.
39:04And I'm then simultaneously going like, I'm so sorry.
39:06I'm so loud.
39:07Like going up to you and being like, I'm so, I'm really loud.
39:10I'm really sorry.
39:11Like as if they could spread my message throughout all of LA.
39:13Spread the gospel.
39:14Yeah.
39:15You're like, let everyone know I'm sorry.
39:16Tell them.
39:17Finally, I'm like, I need a medic.
39:18And he's like, I don't think you need a medic.
39:20I think you're a little too high.
39:21And I was like, get the medic now.
39:22So the medic comes over on his golf cart.
39:24And so he takes my vitals and I'm like, here it is.
39:26He's going to tell me I'm like, I only have a few minutes left.
39:29And he's like, you're just, you're too high.
39:31And in my mind, I'm like, he wants you to die.
39:33Yes.
39:34He's been planning this shit.
39:36So anyway, the night continued on.
39:38I, we, I made him walk with me the entire time.
39:41I finally calmed down enough to go back right as the end credits were rolling.
39:44Look at you.
39:45I missed the entire film.
39:46Wow.
39:47Imagine being the medic when you're told your shift is the 420 screening.
39:51Oh, they're like, guess who we're going to see tonight.
39:53Oh no.
39:54Some paranoid little lightweights.
39:56It's kind of a nice companion piece to the movie, honestly.
39:59It's immersive.
40:00It's immersive theater.
40:01No, it is.
40:02It really is.
40:03That is three points to Lauren.
40:06She's on the board.
40:07This is.
40:08She's not sorry.
40:09I'm not sorry.
40:10Next secret.
40:11Who hooked up with someone they met on the plane?
40:14Okay, James.
40:15When did that happen?
40:16James!
40:17I feel very attacked right now.
40:19No, I don't know.
40:20Younger me's dream.
40:21I know.
40:22That used to be my dream.
40:23I used to think going to the airport because like going somewhere was so romantic.
40:27Yeah.
40:28And now I'm like the airport is disgusting.
40:29I'm very surprised.
40:30Yeah.
40:31Don't look at me in the airport.
40:32Yeah.
40:33I am an absolute urchin at the airport.
40:35Okay.
40:36Like do not perceive me.
40:37Do not talk.
40:38I'm the worst version of myself.
40:39Yeah, yeah.
40:40Okay, so.
40:41How are you guys at the airport?
40:42What do you dress like?
40:43Usually a hoodie and I'm like asleep.
40:45John did not.
40:46What's the prompt again?
40:47You hooked up with someone they met on the plane?
40:48No, it's not on the plane.
40:49It's not on the plane.
40:50I wish.
40:51They met them on the plane.
40:52They met them on the plane.
40:53You met on the plane?
40:54It doesn't necessarily meant that they hooked up on the plane.
40:55No, no.
40:56No.
40:57But they met and had enough riz that there was a problem.
40:59That's what I see.
41:00You have riz.
41:01I feel like there's like a-
41:02Yeah, that's a fact.
41:03Do you guys talk to-
41:04I don't meet any of your seat mates.
41:05No.
41:06No, not against my own rules.
41:07Within reasons.
41:08No, I'm usually asleep.
41:09No, you can tell within like seconds if someone is personable enough to talk to them while on
41:12a plane.
41:13Look, he's-
41:14I think you're crazy.
41:15I'm just a personable guy.
41:16That's true.
41:17But I-
41:18You're the only personable one who would do this.
41:19And yet I have not done it.
41:20Well, I don't know!
41:21You on the plane?
41:22Asleep?
41:23Talking?
41:24Asleep?
41:25But I just know, again, like here, I know I'm going to pee five times.
41:28Okay, aisle seat.
41:29You're an aisle seat-
41:30I have pee anxiety about a flight.
41:32I have pee anxiety on the side.
41:33It's like we gotta get to cruising altitude in case something happens.
41:35Yes, get me to cruise.
41:36Yes, yes.
41:37I have to be window seat and I need to pee.
41:39That's so hard.
41:40Window seat.
41:41Window seat.
41:42So maybe you're seducing someone so that you can get over the-
41:44I go, small bladder.
41:45That's right, girl.
41:46I keep it tight.
41:47I keep it tight.
41:48I keep it tight.
41:49Small bladder.
41:50Small vagina.
41:51Look at that teeny teeny.
41:53I don't know what to say right now.
41:55Let's get our guesses in.
41:56Yeah.
41:57Who hooked up with someone they met on the plane?
41:59John, who do you think?
42:00I think Mariah might be deflecting.
42:01I think it might be Mariah.
42:02God, you think I'm so cool.
42:04Lauren, who do you think?
42:05I'm going to say James.
42:06I appreciate that.
42:07James, who do you think?
42:08You're welcome.
42:09Mariah.
42:10I'm going to say you, babe.
42:11Mariah says James.
42:12All right, will the person who hooked up with someone they met on the plane-
42:14Oh my God.
42:15That's my favorite part.
42:16Please take a sip of their drink.
42:17If it's John, I'll do a sprint around this block.
42:19Wow.
42:20John!
42:21Lace your trainers up.
42:22We don't have cameras outside the studio.
42:23Just do the couches.
42:24Just do the couches.
42:25Just do the couches.
42:26What's this?
42:27I don't know this man.
42:28I don't know this man.
42:29It's for Mariah to do a lap.
42:30Who the hell?
42:31Do a lap.
42:32Do a lap.
42:33Do a lap.
42:34Do a lap.
42:35Do a lap.
42:36Do a lap.
42:37Do a lap.
42:38Do a lap.
42:39Do a lap.
42:40Do a lap.
42:41Do a lap.
42:42Do a lap.
42:43I don't understand this.
42:44All right.
42:45Let's sit down.
42:46John!
42:47Okay.
42:48How old are you?
42:49When did this happen?
42:5012 years old.
42:51A virgin.
42:52This is how I lost it.
42:53This is the story.
42:54No, it's not.
42:55I was in my 20s.
42:56Holy fuck.
42:57I was on my way back to Chicago on a plane.
42:58Sin City.
42:59Sin City.
43:00Yeah!
43:01Tell him where he's headed.
43:02And I was just keeping to myself, and there were these two, like, very beautiful older
43:08ladies next to me on the street.
43:09Hold on.
43:10No.
43:11Okay.
43:12And this woman next to me, she was like, kinda looked like Connie Britton.
43:15And...
43:16What?
43:17Okay, Connie Britton, though.
43:18Beautiful.
43:19She's gorgeous.
43:20She's gorgeous.
43:21I'm just shocked at every detail.
43:22I think I was working at, like, Winter Wonderfest at the time in Chicago.
43:26And she was asking about, like, who I played and things like that.
43:29She gives me her number and says, hey, text me while I'm in Chicago.
43:34And what's her friend doing?
43:35Because you're next to both of them.
43:36Her friend is really quiet.
43:37That's a great question.
43:38Her friend is very quiet.
43:39Oh, my God.
43:40How old did you say you were?
43:41I think I was, like, 24.
43:43And how old was she?
43:4440?
43:45Probably 40s.
43:46Okay.
43:47Cougar Town.
43:48This is the best.
43:49This is the best.
43:50So I went back to my apartment and I was like, uh, I was texting with this...
43:56Connie.
43:57With this nice lady.
43:58We'll call her Connie.
43:59We'll call her Connie.
44:00And she was like, uh, yeah, we're in our hotel.
44:02Uh, come on over.
44:04And I was like, okay, I'll do it.
44:05Nice.
44:06What was she in Chicago for?
44:07I'll call...
44:08Young dick!
44:09What the hell do you think she was there for?
44:11Okay.
44:12She was there celebrating something.
44:13But I don't remember.
44:14Young dick.
44:15But I was like, fuck it.
44:16I'll go.
44:17I'll go to the hotel.
44:18I see.
44:19And I got there.
44:20And, um, they were surprised that I came to the hotel.
44:25And, uh, and I, um, knocked on the door and they were like, oh, yeah, hi, come on in.
44:33We're just drinking.
44:34And then I'm trying to, like, make conversation and make it light.
44:38And Connie invites me into bed.
44:41They're like, we're gonna go to sleep if you wanna come to bed.
44:43To what?
44:44So I...
44:45They're both in bed?
44:46We is very interesting.
44:47Right.
44:48We, yeah.
44:49But no, no, this is...
44:50They're both in bed.
44:51So, um, I get into bed with Connie and her friend.
44:54Fully clothed.
44:55Yes, I had clothes on.
44:56Fully clothed.
44:57Like three of you, like...
44:58I had some clothes on.
44:59What is it, like, head to toe?
45:00Is it a John sandwich?
45:02Are you the filling?
45:03I think, I'm not the filling.
45:04I think I'm the...
45:05The bread.
45:06The crust.
45:07And Connie's in the middle.
45:09Connie's in the middle.
45:10Okay, it's toasted, okay.
45:11Yeah, it's toasted and Connie's the filling.
45:15So we start making out in bed.
45:17Wait, Connie and I.
45:18You and Connie.
45:19The friend doesn't do anything.
45:20She's in the bed!
45:21We're making out for, like, maybe, like, two minutes.
45:23And then Connie stops me and she's like,
45:25I have a husband.
45:28Yeah.
45:29Yeah.
45:30And I was like, what?
45:32I wish you had told me.
45:34You already took a bite of that Connie sandwich.
45:36You're in the Connie sandwich.
45:37You're in.
45:38So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go.
45:41Have a good night.
45:42And I left.
45:43And that was it.
45:44God.
45:45And that other woman just, was this there?
45:47Well, obviously, the other woman didn't want anything to happen.
45:51Yes, because she's the friend and she's like, stop doing this.
45:54Yes.
45:55This is actually a really layered tale.
45:56It is such a gaslight also to be like, why don't you come over?
45:59And then you show up and they're like, that's crazy.
46:01Yes.
46:02That is really fucked.
46:03That is so mean.
46:04That's fucked.
46:05Yeah.
46:06Damn, John.
46:07All right, that is three points for John Madison.
46:08John is in.
46:09It's not over till it's over.
46:10No, it's not.
46:11This is not over till it's over.
46:12It's closing time.
46:13Our final scores are Mariah with five points.
46:17Not terrible.
46:18James with two points.
46:20Yes, James.
46:21John with seven points.
46:23Wow.
46:24And Lauren with eight points.
46:26Yay.
46:27Yay.
46:28Today's winner is Lauren Lopez.
46:31Wow.
46:32Tell her what she's won.
46:33We should be getting a dirty laundry apron.
46:35Ooh.
46:36Fancy.
46:37That's it for dirty laundry.
46:39I've been your host, Lily Du.
46:41Here's hoping you become a regular.
46:47We aren't the only ones with wild stories.
46:50This one was sent in by a viewer named M who writes,
46:53My church growing up put on an elaborate passion play every Easter.
46:58The actor who played Jesus was the director's son.
47:01He was in college and I was 16 and had a huge crush on him.
47:05One night, my best friend and I had to drop off our stuff in the same room where the boys were changing.
47:11And we got a glimpse of Jesus shirtless.
47:13I don't know why this was such a big deal.
47:15He was literally shirtless in our show as part of the crucifixion.
47:19But something about this contact set off our raging hormones and we ran down the hall screaming.
47:25Suddenly, I realized I couldn't close my mouth.
47:27My jaw was completely stuck open.
47:30I ended up having to go to the ER where they popped my jaw back in its socket and couldn't perform my big solo the next day.
47:38Well, Jesus heals, but Jesus hurts also.
47:41My jaw was completely stuck open.
47:42My heart is the most part of the evil.
47:43I'm going to talk to you.
47:44I just want to break it out.
47:45You know what I need to do?
47:46I need to bring this down to you.
47:47How I have to do something for you?
47:48I need to do something for you.
47:49I need to do something for you to do.
47:50Let's put your appearance.
47:51We'll be loving you to take your turn.
47:52Fast side, we'll be loving you.
47:53I have to do something for you.
47:54I will not do that.
47:55Under this case, we will not talk about you.
47:57As you can see yourself, I need to have to do something for you.
48:00I need to have to do something for you.
48:02Yeah, we can be very much around here.
48:03I need to do something for you.
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