Here and Now S1 E1

Gaymer Series

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Transcript

00:00:00The End

00:00:30Jenna

00:02:00She wasn't speaking Spanish.

00:02:02I don't know what language it was, but she says my name.

00:02:06And then she just rips her fucking face open.

00:02:09Wow.

00:02:10You're way deeper than I am.

00:02:11I just dream I'm at work with no pants on.

00:02:15Do you have a boner?

00:02:16I'm the dreamer right now.

00:02:18Either.

00:02:18No.

00:02:19Sadly.

00:02:20You're a tease.

00:02:21You're a tease.

00:02:22You wouldn't know what to do with me if you had me.

00:02:26You're probably right.

00:02:27You give up too easy.

00:02:29You give up too easy.

00:02:29That was weird.

00:02:45What?

00:02:45That was really weird.

00:02:46I just felt like something grabbed my head and turned me so that I would look at that clock.

00:02:50Like, it wanted me to see that clock.

00:02:52What wanted you to?

00:02:54I don't know.

00:02:5711-11.

00:02:58Doesn't that mean something?

00:02:59Uh, yeah.

00:03:00I mean, it sounds like it should, right?

00:03:02Because of 9-11.

00:03:037-11.

00:03:04Um, yeah.

00:03:09My pants are vibrating.

00:03:11Now who's to tease?

00:03:13Hmm?

00:03:18Hey, Mama.

00:03:19Tweety, I need you to do me a big favor today.

00:03:22Come put him on speaker.

00:03:23I-I don't, uh, it's this new phone.

00:03:26I-I-I have to...

00:03:27You don't know how to connect to Bluetooth.

00:03:29Okay, this is why millennials are so angry.

00:03:32You're not a millennial.

00:03:32They haven't even named your generation yet.

00:03:35Hello?

00:03:36Although, I have a couple of suggestions.

00:03:38What, stupid cunts?

00:03:41Hello?

00:03:42Ramone, Ramone, on your way over tonight,

00:03:44I need you to stop by the dry cleaners

00:03:47and pick up Dad's gray silk blazer I want him to wear.

00:03:51Mom, seriously?

00:03:52Please don't make me bring up who pays your rent.

00:03:54Mom, you at least put him on speaker.

00:03:56You're about to get a ticket.

00:03:58You want me to bike four and a half miles with the dry cleaner?

00:04:01Oh, of course not.

00:04:03Take an Uber, use my account.

00:04:05Okay.

00:04:05Ram?

00:04:06Yeah?

00:04:06You come like half an hour early.

00:04:08I need to talk to you about something.

00:04:09It's really important.

00:04:11Why can't you talk about it in front of me?

00:04:13Uh, because I am my own person who's not you.

00:04:15With my own boundaries and everything,

00:04:17we actually exist.

00:04:18Can you do it?

00:04:19Please say yes.

00:04:20Yes, yes, yes.

00:04:21Yeah.

00:04:22Yeah, I will.

00:04:22I will.

00:04:23Ah, okay, I love you, bye.

00:04:24Oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:04:25What if I wasn't done with him?

00:04:28You were.

00:04:30Sorry.

00:04:31It's okay.

00:04:32Where were we?

00:04:33Oh, uh, we were flirting.

00:04:36Like we've been doing every day since I started working here.

00:04:38Right.

00:04:38Um, what are you doing tonight?

00:04:43I get off at five.

00:04:45My mom is actually throwing up a birthday party for my dad,

00:04:48and I have to be there.

00:04:50Can I come?

00:04:53That would be weird.

00:04:55Why?

00:04:56Ta-da!

00:05:07But you're gonna make a seat with wooden forks?

00:05:10Bamboo is sustainable.

00:05:12The world is bigger than us.

00:05:14Oh, yeah, we've fucked that beyond repair.

00:05:17It is too late to stop climate change.

00:05:19That ship is sailed.

00:05:20Thank you for that, by the way.

00:05:22Sweetie, remember, thoughts create reality.

00:05:26Mom, we should all wear horse heads tonight.

00:05:30Like, the entire family.

00:05:32But then act like it's totally normal if anyone asks us.

00:05:35Just be like, what?

00:05:36What horse heads?

00:05:40Are you high?

00:05:44Mom, you should be glad that I smoked pot,

00:05:47because if I didn't, I would be bipolar,

00:05:49and I'm not kidding about that.

00:05:50Sweetie, your brain is hardly even formed yet.

00:05:53Did you smoke pot when you were my age?

00:05:54I also did LSD,

00:05:59which can actually trigger psychosis in rare cases.

00:06:02Does that mean you should do it?

00:06:03Maybe.

00:06:05You know how much I regret smoking pot.

00:06:08I'm sure it's the reason for my compromised attention skills.

00:06:12Mom,

00:06:13you do not have EGT.

00:06:16Let's leave any diagnosis to me, okay?

00:06:18Okay?

00:06:19I'm the professional.

00:06:21You just try to do more than one human could possibly do,

00:06:26so of course you're overwhelmed.

00:06:28But it's not a condition.

00:06:29Not everything is a condition.

00:06:33It's too late for any of it.

00:06:35It's too late for me to have children.

00:06:40I mean, I know I could adopt,

00:06:42but it's too late spiritually.

00:06:47It's too late for me to leave Carl,

00:06:49even if I knew that's what I wanted to do,

00:06:52because it's much too late

00:06:54for me to meet a man

00:06:56I might actually be compatible with.

00:06:58Because even if such a man did exist,

00:07:02he's married and old

00:07:06and probably dead.

00:07:07But Lydia,

00:07:09you're alive.

00:07:11And is this how you want to live?

00:07:13Mourning imaginary lives you'll never have?

00:07:17No.

00:07:18Can you change the past?

00:07:25No.

00:07:26Does the past exist?

00:07:28Here.

00:07:29Now.

00:07:31No.

00:07:32What exists?

00:07:34Right now?

00:07:36Precisely.

00:07:37Um...

00:07:38Right now.

00:07:38Hey, I'm thinking...

00:07:39No, right now.

00:07:41That's what exists.

00:07:42Right now is all that ever exists.

00:07:45Well, my old therapist told me

00:07:50that grieving was important.

00:07:53Yeah?

00:07:53When did she tell you this?

00:07:55Well, I quit seeing her about three years ago.

00:07:57And how has three years of grieving

00:07:59worked out for you?

00:08:00Oh, my God.

00:08:04Those three years I could have been doing...

00:08:06Those three years are never coming back, Lydia.

00:08:09Never.

00:08:11No matter how much you cry.

00:08:15What exists?

00:08:24Right now.

00:08:27Right now.

00:08:28So, until next week,

00:08:41see it,

00:08:42want it,

00:08:43have it.

00:08:44Good.

00:08:46Oh.

00:08:47Ready, Brandon?

00:08:58I'm on time this week.

00:08:59I appreciate that.

00:09:01When it becomes the norm,

00:09:02that's when it'll be an accomplishment.

00:09:04Right.

00:09:05What do you notice about this picture?

00:09:13Um,

00:09:15men do not like to look other men

00:09:17they don't know in the eye.

00:09:18So,

00:09:19on male models,

00:09:21everything above the mouth

00:09:22is cropped out.

00:09:24It's so the male consumer

00:09:25doesn't feel challenged.

00:09:27Okay.

00:09:27Now, how much time did it take you

00:09:29to decide to put this hat on, Randy?

00:09:31I bet you went through

00:09:32a lot of options.

00:09:33I understand you were

00:09:34in the accessories vault

00:09:35for half an hour.

00:09:37I'm a good stylist.

00:09:38You have potential.

00:09:39But you are slow.

00:09:40And you waste time.

00:09:42Like with this hat thing today.

00:09:43Well, if they're not supposed

00:09:44to wear the hats,

00:09:45why are there so many of them

00:09:46in the accessories vault?

00:09:47Because we sell them.

00:09:50But hats, gloves,

00:09:51belts, socks

00:09:52are shot off figure.

00:09:55Not on models.

00:09:56Have you seen the website?

00:09:58Yes.

00:09:59Okay, go back to work.

00:10:05You just destroyed

00:10:07that poor girl.

00:10:08That's all it takes.

00:10:09I'm sorry.

00:10:10She needs to be destroyed.

00:10:11She'll probably

00:10:12end up giving blowjobs

00:10:13for meth money

00:10:14trying to erase

00:10:15the pain of this day.

00:10:18Let me know

00:10:18if she does anything else stupid.

00:10:20And help motivate her

00:10:21to be faster if you can.

00:10:24I'm sure you can.

00:10:29Oh, Duke.

00:10:33Hey, want to go for drinks

00:10:34before dad's thing tonight?

00:10:36Oh, God, yes.

00:10:36Let's get fucked up.

00:10:38Cooper's Hall, 530.

00:10:39You're on.

00:10:42I blow.

00:10:43Man.

00:10:47I do.

00:10:47Man.

00:10:47I do.

00:10:59You're on.

00:10:59Here on.

00:10:59I don't know.

00:11:01We're back.

00:11:02We're back.

00:11:03Man.

00:11:03I don't know.

00:11:03We're back.

00:11:08All right.

00:11:09Michael.

00:11:18Doc Bo Wright.

00:11:21Recognize this?

00:11:23I always wanted a first edition.

00:11:26I finally found one on Bonanza.

00:11:29Look at that.

00:11:31Will you sign it for me?

00:11:33Of course.

00:11:35You're, uh, well, my biggest inspiration,

00:11:38which you already know.

00:11:40The way you marry Epicureanism with presentism

00:11:44and then reboot them both into something so deeply, deeply moral.

00:11:50As if morality matters.

00:11:53Fuck those idiots who called it an ethical defense of hedonism,

00:11:56which, wow, it boggles my mind anyone would ever interpret it that way.

00:12:05You are a rock star.

00:12:07Well, Jake, you're back.

00:12:19You know, it's my birthday today.

00:12:21I'm 60.

00:12:23No way.

00:12:25There's a party later.

00:12:26You got plans?

00:12:28live in the United States.

00:12:29I just want to look,

00:12:32I feel,

00:12:33I can't do much.

00:12:36But because you are serious.

00:12:38You are a fuckingatures.

00:12:40I'm 60% off.

00:12:41I'm 60 years old.

00:12:42I only love you for a number of time.

00:12:44And I want to look like you're ready to be different.

00:12:46I want to see how much money they're könnte.

00:12:47I want to be in the world.

00:12:48Either way.

00:12:49You or me,

00:12:50I need the funds all around you.

00:12:50I want to leave you muddy my mind into it.

00:12:52Yeah, you kind of love you.

00:12:52So enjoy all the time.

00:12:53I need to come out and say,

00:12:54okay, vaguely Kay.

00:12:54I'm down here.

00:13:24Come here and help me!

00:13:33I would certainly fuck me.

00:13:35No!

00:13:37Attention!

00:13:39You need the empty room and you should be in your house at 6.

00:13:44We only have 85 minutes.

00:13:47You have to work fast, please.

00:13:54Are you making them leave because you don't want people to know the party, Skater?

00:13:59No, I just think it'll be a warmer, more intimate party without strangers and vests wandering around with canapés.

00:14:05Sure, it's not because you want people to think that you did this all yourself.

00:14:08You want to tell me what this ongoing hostility toward me is about?

00:14:12What does you need me for?

00:14:14It's biologically determined, you know?

00:14:16This instinct to reject your family of origin.

00:14:19Dear God, do you ever stop talking?

00:14:21What the fuck is wrong with you?

00:14:23Okay, Mom.

00:14:24I really think that you should consider the benefits of medical marijuana.

00:14:28I don't need a crotch, Kristen.

00:14:30And unlike everyone else alive, I don't want one.

00:14:34Put one of these in each bathroom, but do not light them yet.

00:14:41Okay.

00:14:45Fajuli and frankincense organic soy candle.

00:14:49Flashback to that awful red moon party you threw for me when I first got my period.

00:14:54I can't believe you still haven't forgiven me for that.

00:14:56I will never forgive you for that.

00:14:59That party wasn't even for me.

00:15:01It was just so you and your old hippie friends could get drunk in the hot tub and grab each other's tits.

00:15:06Well, at least somebody was having fun that night.

00:15:08Well, at least somebody was having fun that night.

00:15:10I'm saying I gotta be so sorry.

00:15:11I don't care.

00:15:12I don't care.

00:15:13I don't care.

00:15:14I don't care.

00:15:15I don't care.

00:15:16I don't care.

00:15:18Oh, happy birthday.

00:15:40You remembered.

00:15:43I got you a present.

00:15:48Is that a cock ring?

00:16:00It's a cock sling.

00:16:02You put your cock in both through here, and then this part pushes up against your taint.

00:16:10It's a very thoughtful gift for an old fucker like me.

00:16:14Oh, please.

00:16:15You're better than my 20-year-old clients.

00:16:18You have 20-year-old clients?

00:16:20I once had a client who was 14.

00:16:22His dad was Russian mafia, I think, and he bought me for his kid's 14th birthday.

00:16:28That kid was hung like a giraffe, and he had no idea what to do with it.

00:16:36Unlike you.

00:16:40All right, I gotta go.

00:16:41Arigato.

00:16:53Arigato.

00:16:57Same time next week?

00:17:00Whenever you want, Simon.

00:17:01Okay.

00:17:03The environmental capital trade bill is making its way through the origin legislature.

00:17:08There are several different groups supporting the bill, and our current guest reports it.

00:17:13But the reason that you might not expect, is that you don't want to move on the program.

00:17:17Thank you so much for having me today.

00:17:19Now, as you know, this is a historic time, because for the first time, you know, the capital trade bill is actually on its way to get a whole uniform.

00:17:27Our brother baby Jesus is from Columbia.

00:17:57Your brother is not in baby Jesus.

00:17:59Well, we always call them that because our parents thought he was perfect.

00:18:01Still do.

00:18:03Yeah, she never had to teach him how to speak English.

00:18:05Or learn how to deal with his fucking hair.

00:18:07Although, what's going on with his hair? It's fucking...

00:18:09He just, he passed for white. Right? Since day one.

00:18:13He is white.

00:18:15White.

00:18:16Yeah.

00:18:17Wasp white, like mom and dad.

00:18:18It just made things so much easier for them.

00:18:21And they just relaxed.

00:18:24They became different people.

00:18:25Yeah, he never had to wear Colombian flag t-shirts or, uh, serve Colombian food at his birthday parties.

00:18:31Never had to do anything he didn't want to do.

00:18:33Mm-mm. But we're not bitter.

00:18:35No.

00:18:36Yeah, but it must be cool having siblings from these, like, exotic places.

00:18:43It could have been if we weren't so aware of being advertisements for how progressive and evolved our parents were.

00:18:50Mm, how evolved she was.

00:18:52He never cared as much.

00:18:53He didn't.

00:18:55So, Vietnam?

00:18:57Mm-hmm.

00:18:58And, uh, Libya?

00:19:02Libya.

00:19:03Liberia and Colombia.

00:19:05All places in America totally fucked.

00:19:07We also have a little sister who's their biological child.

00:19:10She is painfully white.

00:19:12Like you.

00:19:12Now, where are you from?

00:19:13Wichita.

00:19:14Hmm.

00:19:15First one in my family to ever leave Kansas.

00:19:17Well, you probably added 15 years to your life by doing that.

00:19:20What?

00:19:22Oh, I mean, nothing against Kansas.

00:19:24But we're meant to move.

00:19:26Explore.

00:19:27Being stuck in one place too long is not healthy.

00:19:30And why are you both still in Portland?

00:19:32Well, I travel.

00:19:33He travels.

00:19:34A lot.

00:19:35And I've built up a large practice of people whom I believe I'm genuinely helping.

00:19:40I'm not going to abandon them.

00:19:42But Ashley's just scared.

00:19:43Oh, God.

00:19:44Where would I go?

00:19:45Hmm?

00:19:46L.A.?

00:19:46I shot there.

00:19:47I hated it.

00:19:48New York, Chicago.

00:19:49I can't do the winners.

00:19:50Where else is there?

00:19:51Uh, Paris, London.

00:19:52Oh, fuck you.

00:19:53God, like, that's so easy?

00:19:55Okay, well, don't be an angry black woman, Speedo.

00:19:58Don't be a Ching Chong.

00:19:59Be a Kong, duck.

00:20:00Oh, you're sassy.

00:20:01Oh, you're in screwedball.

00:20:03I bet you're good at sports.

00:20:04God, you're so motherfucking good at math.

00:20:07Asshole.

00:20:10I have to take this.

00:20:11I'm sorry.

00:20:16Great.

00:20:18Hey, why are you here?

00:20:21Bad.

00:20:22I, I blow.

00:20:26Hey, hey, honey.

00:20:27I'm sorry.

00:20:28Uh, I'm just so jammed.

00:20:30Uh, I got a full wreck that I haven't even started shooting yet,

00:20:32and that fucking idiot temp stylist that I've been bitching you about

00:20:36put us hours behind.

00:20:37It's just...

00:20:38Oh, uh, okay.

00:20:39No worries.

00:20:40When we get home, I'll, um, just put her down

00:20:42before we leave for your dad's thing.

00:20:44So she can stay up late for the party?

00:20:46She'll have a lot more fun that way.

00:20:48Yeah.

00:20:48You're such a good dad.

00:20:50Um, so you're okay with this?

00:20:52Meeting me at my folks?

00:20:54Oh.

00:20:54Oh, mommy's gonna be that late.

00:20:56Well, yes.

00:20:58Mommy will make it up to you.

00:20:59I promise.

00:21:00Try not to stress out.

00:21:01All right?

00:21:02I love you.

00:21:02Mm-hmm.

00:21:06Hey.

00:21:07So, you're picking up models now?

00:21:10What are you thinking?

00:21:12I'm not gonna fuck him.

00:21:14Does he know that?

00:21:21Wow.

00:21:22Is your marriage in trouble?

00:21:23No.

00:21:24No.

00:21:25This has nothing to do with Malcolm.

00:21:26Then what does it have to do with?

00:21:27I don't know.

00:21:28I just want a vacation sometimes.

00:21:30I just want a break.

00:21:31That's all.

00:21:32God.

00:21:33It's nothing.

00:21:36It's really nothing.

00:21:37Look, you've got a great relationship, Ash.

00:21:39Don't sabotage this.

00:21:40You don't know anything about relationships, dude, because being in one includes having

00:21:42sex.

00:21:46Wow.

00:21:47Oh, my God.

00:21:50All right.

00:21:51That was me.

00:21:52I'm a fucking bitch, okay?

00:21:55I'm sorry.

00:21:56No.

00:21:56No, you're right.

00:22:01Look, I know why you avoid being with someone, and I respect your choice, even if I don't

00:22:09agree with it, and I just need the same thing from you.

00:22:14Deal.

00:22:16Okay.

00:22:22He's got blood.

00:22:23I know.

00:22:24Mm-hmm.

00:22:26It's like we're back in high school.

00:22:27Yeah.

00:22:36Yo.

00:22:37Yo.

00:22:40How are you?

00:22:44Hi.

00:22:45Yes.

00:22:48Is this your bike?

00:22:48Put on my truck.

00:22:50Yep.

00:22:52I actually have a favor to ask you.

00:22:54Ready?

00:22:55Yeah.

00:22:56That's not a good start.

00:22:57What?

00:22:58You know the dry cleaner on Division Street?

00:23:04Am I a terrible friend?

00:23:11That'll be 11-11.

00:23:14You've got to be kidding me.

00:23:17It's 15 for the Blazer, and then your account has a 389 credit for hanger recycling.

00:23:2111-11.

00:23:21Yeah.

00:23:22Yeah.

00:23:23Yeah.

00:23:2811-11.

00:23:31Individuals who are continually contacted by the number 11-11 usually have some positive

00:23:35mission to accomplish.

00:23:37A mission that remains a mystery until genetically programmed sequences are activated within the

00:23:42DNA.

00:23:42I mean, wait, are you?

00:23:44Are you the next step in human evolution?

00:23:47Because I'd want to know that.

00:23:49Well, did you know that the string theory needs 11 dimensions or else it doesn't work?

00:23:52Where am I going, by the way?

00:23:53Oh, um, my parents live in Laurelhurst.

00:23:56Oh, okay.

00:23:58And where do you live?

00:24:02Come on.

00:24:03Come on!

00:24:04I've got to take a shower anyway.

00:24:05We'll be in a really good mood for your dad's day.

00:24:07We'll be in a really good mood for you.

00:24:37Maybe this is the positive mission that I'm supposed to accomplish.

00:24:43Yeah.

00:24:45Actively.

00:24:46You're doing an excellent job.

00:24:49Excellent.

00:24:50Excellent.

00:24:50Fuck.

00:24:53Shut up.

00:25:07Well, hello.

00:25:12What is the best and smartest little girl in the world doing on my front porch?

00:25:20Oh, you sweet thing.

00:25:26Gigi is going to just eat you up.

00:25:29Eat you up.

00:25:30Eat you up.

00:25:31I thought I'd come a little early, see if there's anything I can do to help.

00:25:35There are always things you can do, Malcolm.

00:25:40Where's Ashley?

00:25:42She got held up at work.

00:25:43They named me Sabido.

00:25:47This African name that nobody even knows what it means.

00:25:50Sounds like Speedo.

00:25:50Exactly.

00:25:51They called me Scroat-Tote in middle school.

00:25:54Yeah.

00:25:54So on my 18th birthday, I had it legally changed to the whitest name I could think of.

00:25:59One picture day, she dressed me in Santa Claus.

00:26:03Oh, yeah.

00:26:03And put this Erykah Badu thing on my head.

00:26:08It was so fucking humiliating.

00:26:10No, I got the outside.

00:26:12Yeah, yeah.

00:26:13Which is basically a dress.

00:26:14So let's take one of the only Asian kids in school and send him to picture day and a dress

00:26:18that makes him look like he's a hostess at an Asian fusion restaurant.

00:26:25Oh, shit.

00:26:26It's really late.

00:26:27We got to get going.

00:26:29You're not going to wreck my car, are you?

00:26:30I love my car.

00:26:32Oh, of course I won't.

00:26:33Got Listerine if anybody wants some.

00:26:37Mm-hmm.

00:26:58Ramon, it's still not here with your jacket.

00:27:00I'll wear the black cashmere one.

00:27:02Oh, honey, no.

00:27:03It's really unflattering.

00:27:06And you're so handsome in the gray.

00:27:11So, I'm going to make a toast to you, 30-plus years together, the kids, blah, blah, blah.

00:27:17And then you'll make your speech.

00:27:18Oh, sweetheart, do we have to?

00:27:22I'm not really up to this speech yet.

00:27:25Greg, you're turning 60.

00:27:27It's a milestone that needs to be marked.

00:27:29It needs ritual.

00:27:30Oh.

00:27:31What are you doing on the floor?

00:27:43They dropped the shampoo.

00:27:47Well, I hope you're not using my shampoo.

00:27:49That stuff is 22 bucks a bottle.

00:27:51It's from Denmark.

00:27:52Just so you know, I've never brought a guy home before, even though my mom has been dying for me, too, ever since I came out.

00:28:11So, I'm going to be kind of a big deal, huh?

00:28:14Sorry.

00:28:15I'm going to make a surprise proposal in front of everyone.

00:28:18Don't do that.

00:28:20Okay.

00:28:22I seriously got to pee.

00:28:23One day, I'm going to fly off this island and go see the world, the yellow turtles.

00:28:28Who's that?

00:28:29Uncle Ramon.

00:28:30Oh, yeah.

00:28:31Go get them.

00:28:33Oh, come here.

00:28:34Come here.

00:28:35I'm so excited you're here.

00:28:38You're her favorite.

00:28:39You know that, right?

00:28:40Yeah, well, she is my favorite, so it all works out.

00:28:43Hayley, look.

00:28:44This is my friend, Henry.

00:28:46Hi.

00:28:48It's my brother-in-law, Malcolm.

00:28:49Hey.

00:28:50Pleasure to meet you, Henry.

00:28:51It's the light choir.

00:28:52Um, where's the bathroom?

00:28:53It's the dick hall.

00:28:53Oh, uh, end of the hall.

00:28:55You can eat a dick with you?

00:28:56Follow the smell of patchouli.

00:28:57Okay.

00:29:01He's cute, man.

00:29:02Yeah, barely on.

00:29:03You're going to want to enjoy that while I last.

00:29:06Ramon, where have you been?

00:29:08You need to come with me right now.

00:29:09All right, let's go.

00:29:09You promised me you would be early.

00:29:11I know, something came up.

00:29:12I love you.

00:29:34Oh, my God.

00:29:36he says he's a serial killer

00:29:45you need to block this guy well come on what real serial killer would advertise it on facebook

00:29:53okay i'm never gonna meet him if i wanted to actually hook up i would go on tinder which

00:29:59i don't okay do you really think i want to see his face when the hideous beast that's me shows

00:30:04up instead of hot angela milton kristin you are so not hideous this is the beautiful columbian

00:30:10boy i've made my piece being the boring white chick in the family wait did i tell you i'm

00:30:21getting my dna analyzed why because like maybe there's a tiny percentage of something interesting

00:30:29in there kristin seriously you have to be careful with this facebook stuff there are real psychos

00:30:36out there i actually hooked up with one once wait how often do you hook up how often do you

00:30:44i'm 17 dumbass like never yet don't judge me i'm not like waiting for the perfect

00:30:53you know whatever i just haven't found anyone particularly interested

00:30:57interesting uh-oh roydian slip you are unusually forthcoming tonight i'm high i'm always high

00:31:11is that like a plea for help dear god no i love it oh wait check out this new vaporizer

00:31:19let's see let's see i got you this oh my god right sorry thank you

00:31:35okay suck it up boys no one can see how inebriated we are okay no one randy you are duke's friend

00:31:48you and i just met i picked you guys up on my way over why because she doesn't want her husband to

00:31:54know she's bringing a hot boy to the party duke you're not gonna tell malcolm anything okay of course

00:31:58not you're my sister he's just your incredibly nice husband who happens to be my best friend

00:32:03which is not awkward for me at all you're married yeah actually that makes total sense

00:32:09what the fuck does that mean you're beautiful and smart and fucking hot of course you're married

00:32:14oh you're very sweet randy or you're a complete douchebag can you not call her hot it's a fact

00:32:33hey baby hi hi don't you look nice look at you oh daddy did a great job dressing you somebody

00:32:44was a little more interested in picking out her outfit than picking an ad so i don't know how long

00:32:50she's gonna last i'm so sorry i'm late it's no problem smell like listerine

00:32:56hmm yep listerine let me check again

00:32:59wow it's like a golden retriever turned into a dude right i think she married him to piss our mom off

00:33:11he was a republican you know before trump but she hit the jackpot

00:33:41do i know you um no i don't think so hi i'm henry i made it explicitly clear there were to be no

00:33:51catering servers oh no no no i'm uh i'm with ramon

00:33:56as a state uh yeah really sure yeah i'm ramon's mom audrey audrey oh sorry

00:34:10oh it is such a pleasure to meet you oh my god pleasure

00:34:15pleasure is mine come i want to learn everything about you okay

00:34:2222 23 24 25 100

00:34:26i need to take a picture of you because you just counted to 100

00:34:31oh my gosh okay get ready

00:34:35you're smart dude i don't think she's gonna fuck me tonight

00:34:43dude that's my sister shut your fucking mouth

00:34:46i mean why'd she even bring me huh she just likes to play with fire

00:34:51ashley likes to play near fire without ever getting close enough to actually get burned

00:34:55i mean i get it her husband's very fuckable

00:34:58oh well

00:35:01everyone here's pretty old

00:35:06it's the 60th birthday party

00:35:08are there any caters here at least

00:35:10so tell me about this psycho you hooked up with

00:35:15it was so fucking creepy he made this face during sex that literally was like the face of madness

00:35:25that's it he just made a weird face

00:35:28you seem disappointed that he didn't murder or dismember me

00:35:31it was really upsetting i i kind of just put the brakes on hooking up after that

00:35:37wait when was the last time you hooked up

00:35:40a couple hours ago

00:35:45what a sweat

00:35:46what did you hook up on

00:35:48grinder

00:35:49growler

00:35:50no

00:35:51bristler

00:35:52scruff

00:35:53i met him in real life

00:35:55oh

00:35:55what that is weird

00:35:57his name's henry

00:35:58oh shit

00:36:00he's here tonight

00:36:01no

00:36:02yeah he kind of invited himself and i just never said no

00:36:04oh so the sex was good

00:36:05oh fuck introduce me to him

00:36:08all right just don't be weird i don't want to scare him off please

00:36:11when am i ever weird

00:36:12wait have i ever told you about how much i just love gay porn

00:36:17yeah only a million times

00:36:19hey actually actually actually actually actually

00:36:21sorry can i get in on your gas to death please

00:36:24bruh

00:36:26come on

00:36:27how much is that

00:36:28two hundred dollars

00:36:30wow

00:36:30yeah

00:36:31i can do fifty

00:36:32no

00:36:33thank you

00:36:34thank you stop okay but thank you

00:36:37dad

00:36:39happy birthday

00:36:44wow

00:36:49these are beautiful

00:36:52they're great

00:36:53they were custom made for you in italy

00:36:55ashley thank you

00:36:58you're welcome

00:36:58and ramon

00:37:01and ramon

00:37:02thanks buddy

00:37:03thanks

00:37:04happy birthday dad

00:37:05dad

00:37:07yeah i'm still making your gift

00:37:09i can't wait to see what it is

00:37:12he's talking to mom

00:37:24mom he is uber hot

00:37:28i better go rescue him before she unhinges her jaw and swallows him home

00:37:31okay i used to be a therapist not a lot escapes me

00:37:36hey

00:37:36so you guys met each other

00:37:39we did

00:37:40sweetie

00:37:40i want you to know you have my full unconditional blessing

00:37:44well of course i do mom not that i need it

00:37:47this one's a keeper

00:37:49this one

00:37:50there's something very special about this

00:37:53yeah yeah we put our dicks in each other

00:37:55well is that really necessary

00:37:58mom we're gay

00:37:59we're not special

00:38:00that's a little bit condescending and weird

00:38:02well would you prefer a mother who disowned you

00:38:04or is that shiva for you

00:38:06sometimes

00:38:08yeah

00:38:09well i'm truly sorry henry

00:38:13that ramon feels the need to denigrate me in front of you

00:38:16you must be pretty important to him

00:38:20excuse me

00:38:22a gym membership

00:38:30it's not just a gym dad

00:38:32it's a platinum membership to quantum fitness

00:38:35you can use any part of the entire club 24-7

00:38:38you know i'm 60 right

00:38:39you can start with some basic yoga

00:38:42we could go together

00:38:44you could use it

00:38:46you're pretty stiff

00:38:47well stiff is a good thing at my age

00:38:50shock put right

00:38:50michael

00:38:52thank you sir

00:38:56welcome

00:39:00hey

00:39:00welcome welcome

00:39:01oh thank you

00:39:02oh sure

00:39:03um you remember my girlfriend emma

00:39:06hi

00:39:06of course

00:39:07happy birthday

00:39:07mommy

00:39:25mommy

00:39:26Hey.

00:39:42Hey.

00:39:44Well, perhaps I should say...

00:39:48me.

00:39:56Great party, Mom.

00:39:58Is it?

00:40:03Aren't you even remotely interested why I might stay that?

00:40:07Remotely.

00:40:12Mom, if you want to tell me how you're feeling, tell me.

00:40:15I'd love to hear.

00:40:17But it's not my job to dig it out of you.

00:40:19Is that how you motivate people's architecture?

00:40:23Passive-aggressively?

00:40:25Yes.

00:40:26And that was neither passive nor aggressive.

00:40:29Celibately?

00:40:30Well, that was aggressive.

00:40:32Women need men like you.

00:40:34You should be making love constantly, bringing that empathy into being.

00:40:38You could be a conduit for healing the world.

00:40:41Through fucking.

00:40:50Look at your father.

00:40:52So hungry for approval.

00:40:57He wasn't always like that.

00:40:58He always had the approval, so he never had to work for it.

00:41:05He's been depressed for a couple of years now.

00:41:08Any particular reason?

00:41:09No, I'm waiting for him to tell me.

00:41:12It's not my job to dig it out of him.

00:41:18I look at him and I love him so much, it literally hurts.

00:41:21I'm serious.

00:41:22Like, it might injure me.

00:41:24And in the same moment I want to smack him repeatedly in the face with big wet fish.

00:41:36Who's that kid talking to dad?

00:41:38He's T.A. Michael something.

00:41:41Your father loves his acolytes.

00:41:46I'm telling you a joke.

00:41:48I'm telling you.

00:41:49My hair.

00:41:50My hair no.

00:41:51My hair.

00:41:53My hair, my hair, my hair, my hair.

00:41:55My hair, my hair.

00:42:26Oh, that's so good.

00:42:41I'm going to steal that.

00:42:42That's so good.

00:42:43Well, I stole it.

00:42:45Mind if I grab him for a bit?

00:42:49How are you doing?

00:42:50I'm great.

00:42:52Drunk.

00:42:52Oh, honey.

00:42:54Only seltzer, then.

00:42:55The rest of the party.

00:42:57Here's your blazer.

00:43:00For your speech.

00:43:02I'm good.

00:43:04If you want to look nice.

00:43:07I'm good.

00:43:08You should probably know.

00:43:32I'm a virgin.

00:43:32Can I have everyone's attention?

00:43:55Attention, please.

00:43:57We're here to celebrate the birth of my dear husband, Greg, who I met at Berkeley many centuries ago.

00:44:05June 12th, 1982.

00:44:16The March for Disarmament.

00:44:18Still one of the largest protest marches in New York City history.

00:44:22But I remember it as the day he proposed.

00:44:29I had never met a boy who was so comfortable around me.

00:44:34Some people say I can be a handful.

00:44:36But Greg wasn't intimidated.

00:44:43He got me.

00:44:44In fact, he celebrated me.

00:44:51And he's done so every day of mine and our four children's lives.

00:44:56And we love him for it.

00:44:57As I'm sure you all do.

00:45:05Greg.

00:45:05Love you both.

00:45:07My darling.

00:45:10The love of my life.

00:45:12Wouldn't you like to say a few words?

00:45:14Yeah.

00:45:16Come on, get up there, Greg.

00:45:17Let's hear it.

00:45:18Thanks, honey.

00:45:37Please don't say anything depressing.

00:45:41Roger, drop your face.

00:45:42Oh, thank you.

00:45:48Well, I don't think anyone, I don't think anyone's life turns out the way they thought it would.

00:46:04Things we didn't even know existed.

00:46:06What's with the all black?

00:46:06Is he Johnny Cash?

00:46:07He's become essential.

00:46:08He's struggling for autonomy.

00:46:10Oh.

00:46:10Well, things we consider fundamental.

00:46:12But the gray silk, he looks so good in that.

00:46:15He doesn't want to look better.

00:46:17He wants to have his way.

00:46:18You know, sometimes I feel like I'm still a teenager.

00:46:22Like, uh, age is just an illusion.

00:46:28And I'm going to feel this way forever.

00:46:31But other times, I feel like there's a pair of invisible hands wrapped around my heart,

00:46:41squeezing so tight, squeezing so tight, squeezing so tight, that I think I'm, I think it's going to stop beating.

00:46:51I almost wish it would.

00:46:53I almost wish it would.

00:47:00But it doesn't.

00:47:03It just keeps beating.

00:47:05And I just keep going.

00:47:08I'm a philosopher.

00:47:16Whatever that means.

00:47:17I've spent most of my life trying to figure out what life is all about.

00:47:28And here I am, 60 years old, 60.

00:47:34And I have no fucking idea.

00:47:38Let me know if you want me to stop or slow down.

00:47:43Okay, I will.

00:47:44When I was young, I thought the purpose of life was to seek enlightenment, to use our minds, to try to imagine a better future.

00:47:55Just breathe.

00:47:57Bring light into the darkness.

00:47:59To reject fear and despair and cynicism, to honor intelligence and reason, to choose love.

00:48:21Love.

00:48:21I feel embarrassed even articulating that because I look at the world, and not even the world, here, now, and all I see is ignorance, hatred, terror, and rage.

00:48:51We lost, folks.

00:49:01We lost.

00:49:08I look back on my partnership with this amazing woman, and this great experiment that is.

00:49:21And this is our family.

00:49:25And I wonder, I really do wonder.

00:49:34Did any of it make any difference?

00:49:39Because from where I'm standing...

00:49:41What the fuck?

00:49:42What the fuck is that?

00:49:48What the fuck is what?

00:50:03Hey.

00:50:05Hey, what's happening?

00:50:08I'm home.

00:50:09I'm home.

00:50:31I'm home.

00:50:33I'm home.

00:50:33fucking 11 11

00:50:45hello did you take anything tonight who gave it to you was it henry hey hey i got you i got you

00:51:03what's going on with him it's hallucinating it was hallucinating

00:51:18nobody saw what happened with the fire what it did

00:51:27what's wrong with ramon

00:51:37he doesn't have a fever we did a whole blood battery nothing was abnormal so no liver or

00:51:51kidney failure no migraines he's way too young for dementia he sleeps over eight hours a night

00:51:58so no narcolepsy full mri revealed nothing so no tumor that might cause hallucinations

00:52:03oh mrs boatwright it's bear like the aspirin ms bear

00:52:08ms bear hallucinations can be symptomatic of many different conditions besides of course i know that

00:52:17i was a therapist for almost 20 years before i founded the empathy initiative it was no

00:52:22hallucination i saw 11 11 on the clock i mean a friend of mine can corroborate he was there

00:52:26a friend you've only known for a matter of days i'm seriously is it possible ramon that seeing or

00:52:33hearing that number could have planted the idea in your subconscious that's what i've been saying

00:52:38no no these numbers mean something dad sweetie i know it's scary and you want to find some sense

00:52:45meaning and what happened but try not to be too schizophrenic

00:52:48i know that's what you're thinking you're thinking i'm just like uncle ike

00:52:55this is why i thought it would be better if if your father and i spoke to the doctor alone at first

00:53:02you should probably know my older brother is schizophrenic

00:53:07but but ramon is not our biological child i'm aware of that i'm not saying he's genetic

00:53:17i'm saying i know what it looks like i've seen it start

00:53:22he was just high and he imagined something remember when he was little and he thought

00:53:28shadows were always following him shadows were following me dad

00:53:32and you've been high and seen things i was with you audrey when you thought you were in an aztec

00:53:37pyramid being prepared for sacrifice but i wasn't high i was tripping and and when we first met

00:53:43you were terrified that you would still turn out to be schizophrenic what is your point my point is you

00:53:49weren't you you you have so much fear about this that you almost are creating philosophy in the

00:53:56classroom okay of course i'm terrified

00:53:58ike was ramon's age when he had his first psychotic episode

00:54:08until we gather more conclusive information i need everyone in the room

00:54:13to stop using diagnostic terms like psychosis and schizophrenia

00:54:17can we all agree on that

00:54:21these words are used much more than they should be and can be very confusing

00:54:27especially to the patient thank you she's been sending him links to websites

00:54:31he's fucking scared shit i want him to be educated

00:54:35i want you to know what you might be up against

00:54:38you want to control everything because you want to control

00:54:41maybe you could mask your contempt for me in front of the doctor

00:54:44they waited too long to diagnose my brother too long to medicate him each hallucination

00:54:55can cause more damage i think we should start ramon on serequil as soon as possible what

00:55:01you have been lecturing me about the evils of western medicine for the past 35 years

00:55:07which can only make a third one more likely

00:55:10miss bayer i'm sorry doctor but you should probably know i'm not one of those mothers

00:55:14who can sit back and watch from behind the glass

00:55:17i intend to take an active part in ramon's diagnosis treatment

00:55:34i genuinely respect your desire to be so involved

00:55:39but that decision is for ramon to make

00:55:42should he undergo treatment it would be based on strict confidentiality

00:55:47between him and myself

00:55:49well of course but but if he agrees to our being involved

00:55:53do you want your parents to know everything we talk about during your treatment

00:55:57you don't have to say yes ramon

00:56:00in fact i would advise you not to

00:56:03excuse me

00:56:06you were a therapist miss bayer

00:56:11you know there can be no meaningful therapy for ramon with his parents in the room

00:56:16if you decide to become my patient

00:56:19they can't be here without your consent

00:56:22do you understand

00:56:24and if they call or email to ask about your progress

00:56:30i can't answer them

00:56:31i'm prohibited by law

00:56:33ramon

00:56:38ramon

00:56:39ramon

00:56:41i'm sorry

00:56:42but this clearly is not

00:56:44no i want to be his patient

00:56:46i do

00:56:48i do

00:56:50sweetie

00:56:51then you both need to wait outside until we're done with our station

00:56:55of course

00:56:56everything's gonna be okay all right

00:56:58we'll be right outside

00:57:00if you need us sweetie

00:57:02who is that woman in the picture

00:57:12what picture

00:57:14who is she

00:57:18my mother

00:57:21why

00:57:23i don't have other answers

00:57:28i don't pretend to know

00:57:31there's too many cooks in the kitchen

00:57:34too many songs on the radio

00:57:38i don't know what they're saying

00:57:41it doesn't really matter

00:57:44i ain't listening

00:57:45this pretty face

00:57:47ain't no going to waste

00:57:48i ride

00:57:50baby

00:57:50ride

00:57:51high baby

00:57:52high

00:57:53low baby

00:57:55low

00:57:56take it

00:57:59don't leave it

00:58:00dance it

00:58:01go baby

00:58:02go

00:58:02go baby

00:58:05go

00:58:06i believe in you baby

00:58:26low baby

00:58:40low baby

00:58:44low

00:58:47low

00:58:49low

00:58:51High baby high, low baby low, take it, go leave it, dance it, go baby go, go baby go, go baby go, go baby go, go baby go, go baby go.

00:59:21Do you really think he's mentally ill? Ramon or dad? Ramon.

00:59:34Daddy's depressed because the world is so much more fucked up than he ever thought it could be.

00:59:41You're supposed to be outdoors, causing trouble while you still can.

00:59:47One can have a great life without pretending to be invincible to the world.

00:59:50I'm not pretending.

00:59:54I sent everyone home. I kind of wanted to be alone with you.

00:59:57I thought you told me I'd work late.

01:00:00You're hot, smart.

01:00:01Tell me something that's wrong with you.

01:00:05I think that's my brother's boyfriend.

01:00:08I wish the world was different from what it is.

01:00:11I promised I would never go out like this dad.

01:00:13I just want to keep you safe.

01:00:14Your mom chose life!

01:00:21Don't engage.

01:00:26How did your mom get in my dream?

01:00:27It's no accident I'm your psychiatrist.

01:00:30I just want what's best for you.

01:00:34Maybe what's best for me is not what's in store.

01:00:37Ain't no one's gonna save my soul but me.

01:00:45Must be cool.

01:00:47I haven't...

01:00:47I don't know.

01:00:48I'm not gonna be змons anymore.

01:00:49You know what you wanna give me?

01:00:50What I want to do is like keep going on.

01:00:52I think I will make you some mail later.

01:00:53There's another acquisition.

01:00:54There's another acquisition.

01:01:04I think there's another lending team.

01:01:05I'll do that.

01:01:05I don't know.

01:01:07I love working for you.

01:01:07I don't want to think.

01:01:08You don't want to get open to me.

01:01:08I don't know.

01:01:08I'm listening to...

01:01:09There's another kä kuping here.

01:01:10Of course you don't know.

01:01:11I'm not wondering.

01:01:11I also want to give an eye force because

01:01:12it's a tie pumpkin.

01:01:12You know, my friend here.

01:01:13I'm like liking it.

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