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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:03Grandma's here
00:04In life
00:05It's called a post-nuptial agreement
00:07I'm not signing this
00:08Sign it!
00:10Stop! You're hurting me!
00:13This is Elise
00:13What are you doing here?
00:14You can't change what's already been done
00:17People leave trails
00:18One of those trails will lead to Deirdre
00:20I'm not taking my money to the grave
00:22I'm gonna use it to save your ass
00:23Or who people really are
00:26Andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay
00:29Every morning as she went to take out her trash
00:38Lynette Scavo would indulge in a little daydream
00:41The details of which were always the same
00:45One day her nasty neighbor Karen McCluskey
00:50Would keel over and die
00:53And her home would be bought by a lovely Swedish family
00:58With two adorable twin daughters
01:01The families would form an everlasting friendship
01:05Culminating in their daughters marrying her sons
01:09At an elaborate wedding
01:11The Scavo's wouldn't have to pay for
01:15Yes, Lynette enjoyed her little daydream
01:21But Mrs. McCluskey always had a way
01:25Of pulling her back to reality
01:27Hey, hey, hey, hey
01:29Why are you stealing my garbage cans?
01:33The garbage pickup was two days ago
01:35And these cans have been on the street ever since
01:37I just assumed you didn't want them anymore
01:38Oh, that's very cute
01:40That's good
01:41Here, give them here
01:42Bad enough, we gotta look at that god-awful color you painted the house
01:46We shouldn't have to stare at your cans for days on end
01:49You want to talk about good neighbor etiquette?
01:51How about you hire a gardener to take care of that jungle you call a lawn?
01:55I am on a fixed income
01:56Oh, well, perhaps you should consider moving somewhere less expensive
01:59Like a nursing home
02:01Go to hell
02:02Run by Germans, hmm?
02:06And, you know
02:08Oh
02:09Oh, Mrs. McCluskey
02:12Mrs. McCluskey, are you all right?
02:17I'll get the door
02:18For a brief moment
02:24Lynette was presented with an interesting choice of options
02:28And though she knew she'd hate herself in the morning
02:33Lynette chose to do the right thing
02:36Lynette, where are they taking me?
02:38You're going to the hospital, Mrs. McCluskey
02:40You're going to be fine
02:41Well, I don't want to go alone
02:43Come with me
02:43Oh, um
02:45These are trained technicians
02:47And I've got a roast in the freezer
02:49Please
02:51I'm scared
02:52Yeah, I'll come with you
02:57Okay, here I am
02:59Thank you
02:59If I die
03:03I don't want it to be with strangers
03:04You're not going to die
03:06How can you be so sure?
03:10Of course, Lynette didn't respond
03:13How could she tell her neighbor
03:15That some dreams
03:17Are just too beautiful
03:19To come true
03:20What a good place
03:22Oh yeah
03:22Oh yeah
03:25What a great place
03:27Do not know
03:59Life is a journey, one that is much better traveled with a companion by our side.
04:16But sometimes we lose our companions along the way, and then the journey becomes unbearable.
04:25Noah?
04:26I didn't know you were a religious man.
04:30What's with the rosary?
04:33They found Deirdre.
04:35What?
04:38Her body had been stuffed inside a toy chest.
04:42Can you believe that?
04:44A kid's toy chest.
04:46She'd been dismembered.
04:55Oh, my God.
05:01Cops ID'd her from her dental records.
05:10She's been dead 15 years.
05:14All that time I was looking for, she was already gone.
05:19I'm so sorry.
05:26I have to bury my baby.
05:30I came out here to, uh, figure out what kind of tombstone to get her.
05:35You shouldn't be doing this now.
05:39Let's get you home.
05:42There's a cop I want you to talk to.
05:45A cop?
05:46His name is Sullivan.
05:48I paid him to take the heat off you for your neighbor's murder.
05:52He'll get you the file on Deirdre's case.
05:53Apparently, they have some leads.
06:05I don't know.
06:06I think we may be making a huge mistake.
06:08We made our decision.
06:09Let's just stick to it.
06:11Let's say we leave him here three more weeks.
06:13What's the worst that could happen?
06:16Our son just told us that he might be gay.
06:19There are 200 other boys in this camp.
06:22Now, I could explain to you what might happen if we left him here,
06:26but I'm a lady, and I don't use that kind of language.
06:35Now, I bet we're worrying ourselves sick over nothing.
06:37This is probably just a phase.
06:38Exactly.
06:39So we'll get him home, we'll get him into Christian counseling,
06:42so it won't become a lifestyle.
06:43Well, whatever's going on with him, he's still our son, and we love him.
06:47Why would you say that to me?
06:48Because it's obvious how freaked out you are by the whole gay thing.
06:53I may be freaked out, but that doesn't change how I feel about him.
06:56I'm just saying, be cool.
06:58And I can be just as cool as you can.
07:05All right.
07:16It'll be nice to have you back.
07:18Andrew, I would love you, even if you were a murderer.
07:36Mommy, the line's not moving.
07:39Oh, for Pete's sake.
07:40Mom, Mom, kids are waiting.
07:50Oh, honey, Hector here teaches salsa dancing at the community center.
07:55I give private lessons, too.
07:56Oh, I bet you do.
07:59Mom, why don't you please not flirt with the ice cream man?
08:02Why not?
08:03Do you need a reason beyond the fact that he's the ice cream man?
08:07It's called moving on with your life.
08:10You just broke up with Morty two weeks ago.
08:12Don't you think you can at least pretend to mourn the relationship?
08:15Oh, you are such a stick in the mud.
08:17We should be out there having fun.
08:20I know what we can do tonight.
08:22We can go to some hip club and get some hot guys.
08:26Mom, Mom, it'll be great.
08:28I'll say I'm 42 and you can be 28.
08:30Oh, you can pull it off.
08:42Mr. McCluskey, you're back from the hospital already?
08:45Turns out I OD'd a little bit on my arthritis medication.
08:48One pill I can open, a jar of four pills, I'm face down calling for my life.
08:52You'll find out about that soon enough.
08:55Well, I'm glad to hear you're all right.
08:58Here. It's my way of saying thank you for not letting me die out there on the lawn.
09:03Oh, Miss McCluskey, you don't...
09:04You don't keep that. It's genuine Tiffany.
09:07Been in my family for years.
09:09I don't know what to say.
09:11It's stunning. Thank you.
09:13I didn't fight you in, but...
09:29Well, I wanted to tell you what my doctor said.
09:30Teas and arthritis is the least of my problems.
09:33See, I had this skin tag, or what I thought was a skin tag,
09:36but it turns out it might be more serious than...
09:38What do you think you're doing?
09:45Please, I can't sleep in the den anymore. I need to sleep in a bed.
09:48Well, then you might want to try a motel, because you're not coming back in here.
09:54How many times have I got to say I'm sorry?
09:56Obviously a few more.
09:57I am not proud of what I did.
10:02I admit, I was way out of line.
10:05You want back in this bed?
10:07You know what to do.
10:11I'm not tearing up the post now.
10:12Why not?
10:13Because it's the one way that I can ensure you'll be here when I get out of jail.
10:17Well, then have fun at the motel.
10:20Fine.
10:22Tomorrow I'm canceling your credit cards.
10:24What?
10:25And I'm taking away your ATM as well.
10:27What am I supposed to do for money?
10:30Maybe once you see how good you've got it here, you'll start treating me with a little respect.
10:33You want my respect? Then tear up the post now.
10:36Give me my pillow.
10:40One more thing.
10:41If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you.
10:45If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you.
10:52Boy, with all this passion, is it a shame that we're not having sex?
10:57I feel trapped.
11:11You want me to open a window?
11:13No, I'm talking about my life.
11:15Oh.
11:16Are we done making out?
11:17No, no. Keep going.
11:22So what's up?
11:24I'm unhappy.
11:25Carlos and my marriage.
11:28I feel like I don't have options and it's driving me crazy.
11:31Every time something went south in my life, I always had a plan B.
11:34Now I feel like I have nothing.
11:36What about me?
11:37And can I be your plan B?
11:38Damn it, John.
11:39What is our new rule?
11:41Stop pretending we have a future.
11:45Well, can't you just walk out?
11:47No.
11:47Because if I leave, then I'll be broke and that's awful.
11:50If I stay, then he's in control and that's horrifying.
11:53And he cut up all my credit cards.
11:55Which means I'm married to him and unable to shop.
11:58Which is probably the worst of all possible worlds.
12:01I'm sorry.
12:02I'll figure something out.
12:03I'm not much fun today.
12:08I'm gonna go.
12:12Wait.
12:16What's this?
12:17You deserve nice things.
12:19And if Mr. Solis won't provide them, I will.
12:23With your student credit card?
12:25I own my own business.
12:27You mow lawns.
12:28I make good money.
12:29I have 20 houses and I'm this close to getting the driving range of the country club.
12:32I can't.
12:33Yes, you can.
12:41I'll pay it off.
12:43If you want.
12:45But you don't have to.
12:47Mrs. Solis, to take care of you?
12:51It's my dream.
12:54Well, far be it for me to stand in the way of a young man's dream.
12:58Okay, Tom.
13:01Yeah, I will swing by the dry cleaners after I hit the market.
13:05I don't know.
13:06Porter has a dentist appointment at 4 o'clock, so the car might have to wait until tomorrow.
13:11Okay.
13:12Yeah, I love you, too.
13:14Bye-bye.
13:15Hi there.
13:16I brought you some avocados.
13:17I have a tree in back, but I hate them, and your family seems like the kind that would eat guacamole.
13:21Um, Mrs. McCluskey, thank you.
13:24That is very nice.
13:26So, let's make up a batch.
13:27Oh, um, now's not a good time.
13:30I'm on my way out.
13:31I have a ton of errands.
13:32Oh, you know, that's great, because my car's on the fritz, and I could hitch a ride.
13:36I need to drop by the pharmacy anyway.
13:37No, I can't.
13:38I'm sorry, but I have a lot of things to do.
13:41Well, maybe you could take me later.
13:42I can drop by tomorrow.
13:44Mrs. McCluskey, I'm not going to have any time tomorrow.
13:46Oh.
13:48It sounds interesting that you can't spend two minutes with me, but you have no trouble taking my Tiffany lamp.
13:54Oh, for God's sakes.
13:58Here.
14:00You should take this back.
14:01I don't have a place for it.
14:04But that was my thank you for saving my life.
14:07I know, and it was a beautiful gesture, really.
14:11But I just...
14:12Save it, Lynette.
14:14I get the picture.
14:28Oh, God.
14:30Susie, this is Tim.
14:34Sorry if we startled you.
14:36Oh, uh, that's okay.
14:39I just didn't expect to see anybody up at a quarter to one.
14:43Oh, Susie, you should have come out tonight.
14:47I met Tim here at the Islands Bar, and he introduced me to this crazy drink.
14:52The dirty volcano.
14:55What?
14:55And then we danced, and he dipped me.
15:00Sophie's very limber.
15:03Um, Mom, could I just talk to you in the family room for a minute?
15:07Oh, sure.
15:08Susan is your daughter?
15:12Yep.
15:12No, she can't be.
15:14Jess.
15:15No.
15:15Yeah?
15:16No.
15:16Yeah?
15:17No!
15:18Yeah.
15:19Okay, we get it.
15:20She looks young.
15:25Oh, that man has magic fingers.
15:28What are you doing?
15:29I have a teenage daughter in the house.
15:31You can't just bring strange men you meet in bars here in the middle of the night.
15:34You just haven't a few laughs?
15:36What's the big deal?
15:37Look, I know you're trying to get over Morty, but this is not the way to do it.
15:40So can you please just go out there and tell him to go home?
15:43You know how blue I've been.
15:46Why can't you be supportive?
15:47I have been plenty supportive.
15:49No, you haven't.
15:50You really haven't.
15:51Now, Tim is my guest, and he will go home when I say so.
15:58If he's not gone in five minutes, I'm going to go out there and tell him exactly how old
16:02you really are.
16:03Oh, Tim, it's time for me to go sleepy-bye.
16:25Delfino.
16:28Yeah?
16:30He must be Sullivan.
16:33The file on Noah's daughter.
16:37Yeah, he said you had some leads.
16:40Yeah, sure, we got some leads.
16:44Is there a problem?
16:45Gee, I don't know.
16:47I'm handing a confidential police report over to a killer and drug dealer.
16:52Why should that be a problem?
16:58Thanks.
17:00Is this what our justice system has come to?
17:02Guys like you walking the streets without a care in the world?
17:07I did my time.
17:08Not nearly enough, you piece of garbage.
17:10You know, I'm glad we had the chance to meet.
17:19Because apparently I'm no longer a murder suspect, thanks to you.
17:23So I don't want to seem ungrateful.
17:25But just out of curiosity, how much does it cost to buy off a homicide detective these days?
17:31Thanks again.
17:32Thanks again.
17:36Hey, Delfino, one more thing.
17:41Now, this file was misplaced.
18:02Understand?
18:03Understand?
18:04If even a whisper of this gets traced back to me, there will be one less cop killer on the street.
18:12And for God's sakes, don't get any blood on the file.
18:23Ma'am, I'm sorry, but your credit card has been declined.
18:49What?
18:50Oh, no, that's impossible.
18:52It's a new card.
18:53I just went shopping with it.
18:55Try it again.
18:56Ma'am, I ran it three times and then I called the bank.
19:00Now, may I try another card?
19:02Of course you may.
19:04Will you just give me a moment?
19:06Hello?
19:07It's me.
19:08I've been trying to call you, but you turned your cell off.
19:09Because I'm in a lovely restaurant having a lovely meal that I now can't pay for.
19:22What?
19:23Did you order already?
19:24I ate already.
19:25Look, the credit card company called my mom.
19:27I mean, they said that there was unusual activity on my card.
19:30I bought shoes.
19:31Well, I didn't know that.
19:32You know, and then my mom started asking all these questions.
19:34So, I just blurted out that the card was stolen and she canceled it.
19:37Why would they call your parents as your account?
19:40They co-signed for it.
19:42Look, if you just explain to the waiter.
19:45What?
19:46That the credit card was canceled by my lover's mommy?
19:48Well, what other options do you have?
19:50Unless you return the shoes and get the money back.
19:52Return the shoes?
19:54I can't talk to you when you're being hysterical.
19:59So, ma'am, what would you like to do about the bill?
20:16Afternoon.
20:17I've got a package for your neighbor, Karen McCluskey.
20:19Man signing?
20:20Well, isn't she home?
20:21She usually never goes anywhere.
20:22No one answered.
20:25All right.
20:30Okay.
20:43So, let me get this straight.
20:45You play tennis.
20:46You know wine.
20:47And you speak Mandarin.
20:49Does every other man in the world want you dead?
20:53Well, I'm not that impressive.
20:55I pulled a gray hair out of my chest this morning.
20:58I don't know.
20:59I don't know.
21:00I'd watch your back.
21:03You know, I've really enjoyed talking to you.
21:05You, uh...
21:08Well, you made my day.
21:11I was thinking if you'd like to get together again.
21:15Well, Sam, to tell you the truth, I'm kind of in a relationship right now.
21:19I just wanted to be honest.
21:22It's perfectly okay, Tina.
21:26By the way, this is on me.
21:29Oh, no. You shouldn't.
21:31Oh, please.
21:33It's my pleasure.
21:34This is gonna be a disaster.
21:42It'll be fine.
21:45Andrew?
21:47Honey, hurry up. Dinner's ready.
21:49It's like we're setting a trap for him.
21:51It's for his own good.
21:53You'll see.
21:55It smells good.
21:57What are we having?
21:59I'm making homemade bratwurst with sweet and sour cabbage.
22:01It's a recipe I found in an old German cookbook.
22:07I'll get the door. Honey, why don't you pour the wine?
22:13Isn't Danielle spending the night at Wendy's?
22:15I believe she is.
22:17Well, then why did Mom set the table for four places?
22:20Huh?
22:22Uh, I asked who's coming for dinner.
22:25Andrew, you remember Reverend Sykes, don't you?
22:28Oh, come on.
22:31Um, Reverend, why don't you have a seat and I will get some refreshments.
22:38Ah.
22:40So, Andrew, it's been a long time.
22:44Yes.
22:46Yes, it has.
22:48Would you like some water? I have flat or bubbly?
22:50Oh, bubbly, please.
22:52Sue.
22:54Your mother tells me you've started having some sexual desires for other boys.
23:05I don't suppose I could get some of that.
23:07Nope.
23:09I'm gonna need every drop.
23:10And, over the years, we've had so many young people come to our ministry, hating themselves for their unnatural desires, and within a few months they've found an inner peace and a tranquility that is nothing short of miraculous.
23:26Oh.
23:27What it takes is a little faith and a desire to change.
23:31I'm sorry, but I really don't want to talk about my sex life.
23:35Well, that's just too bad, because this needs to be discussed.
23:39Bree, please, let the boys speak. Go on.
23:43Well, I appreciate your offer to help. I do, but I don't hate myself. So, I'm good.
23:52Son, I know what it's like to be a teenager. It's a very confusing time.
23:57I'm not confused. I know exactly who I am.
24:07Well, if you ever do want to talk, my door is always open.
24:12Reverend, I don't mean to criticize, but it sounds like you're giving up.
24:24You know, we can't force him on a path of righteousness.
24:28He himself has got to want to make the journey.
24:31Well, then what do we do? Just stand by while he starts dating boys?
24:35And, by the way, the correct word is not gay. It's sodomy.
24:38We're in the middle of dinner.
24:39So?
24:40So can you at least wait till dessert before calling our son a sodomite?
24:43How you can sit there and be so casual is beyond me.
24:46For starters, I knew this dinner was a bad idea the moment you suggested it.
24:49Well, at least I'm trying to be proactive.
24:51Please, there's no need to get upset.
24:53I am upset because there is a problem here, and no one seems to notice it but me.
24:57As far as I'm concerned, if Andrew is happy with who he is, then it is our job to support him.
25:10Your father is into S&M.
25:13We!
25:14He makes me beat him with a riding crop and I let him.
25:16It's no wonder you're perverted.
25:18Look who your parents are.
25:26Excuse me.
25:27What a fun night.
25:32You know, we should really do this again sometime.
25:34Hey!
25:35Hey!
25:36Good news!
25:37I know why you've been so furious at me.
25:38I haven't been furious at you.
25:39Oh, well, yes, you have.
25:40And I don't blame you.
25:43Men have been coming out to me left and right.
25:48And I just—I've been having so much fun and just enjoying life, and well, what do I do?
25:53I thought right in your face.
25:55I'd hate me to lose you.
25:59It's been amazing.
26:01Hello, am I?
26:02Perfect, it's nice.
26:03Look at the rest of the day.
26:07face. I'd hate me too. Mom, I don't hate you. Well, be that as it may, from here on out,
26:15I'm including you in all the fun. The fun? Your mother's come through. What have you
26:21done? You and I are going on a double date tonight. What? Tim has a friend from the box
26:27factory, and I thought the four of us could hang out, have a few drinks and more d'oeuvres
26:31and... Forget it. What, Susie? Mom, I'm sorry. I'm just not in the mood to hang out these
26:36days. Susie, sweetie, please. I can't cancel now. Of course you can. Just call him up
26:42and tell him not to come over. Tim. Oh, hi, Sus. Hey, this is my buddy, Lamont. I bought peppermint
26:54schnapps.
27:06I'm sure she's fine. She never leaves her mail sitting out there. I mean, how many
27:15times has she thrown hours away because we didn't pick it up the second it came? That
27:19would be five. I don't know, Tom. I think something's happened to her. Okay, so go over and check
27:24on her. But if I'm wrong, then I'm sucked into a two-hour conversation about bunions. Don't
27:30go check on her. But six months from now, when they find her mummified corpse at the bottom
27:34of the basement stairs, what do I tell the kids? Oh, yeah, I let Mrs. McCluskey die.
27:38Yeah, and why would they care? Like, they're going to miss the dry-cleaning coupon she hands
27:42out on Halloween.
27:44Tom.
27:45Listen, I... What can I say? You're damned if you do. You're damned if you don't. So, uh...
27:50Good luck with that.
27:53Honey, I'm hating you a little bit right now.
28:00Hi, honey. Look at my new shoes.
28:02Yeah.
28:04Aren't they gorgeous?
28:05Honey, I'm trying to watch the game.
28:09Sorry.
28:16How'd you buy new shoes?
28:18Shh. Talk later. You're watching the game.
28:20No, I want to talk about it now.
28:23You don't have any money, so what's the story?
28:25Oh, you've heard it before.
28:27Girl meets boy. Boy buys girl things.
28:29Girl leaves happy.
28:31What did you do?
28:32You know, I forgot how generous men could be.
28:35I also forgot I have options. A whole bunch of them.
28:38What the hell are you talking about?
28:39I don't need your credit cards, Carlos. And I don't need your money.
28:42But if our marriage is going to work, I need your respect.
28:46I'm not ripping up the post now.
28:48Yes, you are.
28:50Because if you don't, I'm going to put on my new shoes and walk out the door.
28:55Are you threatening me?
28:56No, I'm just pointing something out.
28:59I'm a pretty girl.
29:01And pretty girls are never lonely.
29:02What?
29:12What?
29:17Oh!
29:18So, I'm really ticklish.
29:23So, children's books, right?
29:25Don't get tickled.
29:27Well, I hope you know how lucky you are.
29:29Not everyone gets to realize their bliss.
29:32Yeah, it can be rewarding.
29:35Why don't you join me?
29:41No.
29:42I'm really ticklish.
29:45Come on!
29:46What's wrong?
29:48For God's sake, Tim, she's ticklish.
29:50How many times do you have to be told?
29:52No.
29:53This is so much fun.
29:54Come on, let's find another CD.
29:55Mother, don't you think it's getting a little late?
29:59Come on!
30:01You haven't even finished your snob.
30:11The perfect capper to the perfect evening.
30:14So, good night.
30:16It's been lovely.
30:17And, Lamont, good luck with all your inventions.
30:20Wow.
30:21It's only 11.30.
30:22I want to hit the clock.
30:24I know a great place just off the interstate.
30:27Come on.
30:27Swarm up the old doorway.
30:29Come on, hold it.
30:31You are not getting in a car alone with those two.
30:34You barely know them.
30:35I have great instincts about people.
30:38I always have.
30:39Susie, you know that.
30:40You've been married four times.
30:42Yes.
30:42But twice to the same guy.
30:47Mother.
30:48Susie, please.
30:49You are embarrassing me.
30:50Oh, I'm embarrassing you?
30:52Yes.
30:53And I've had it.
30:54All night long, I've been trying to get you to something so crappy.
30:58And you refuse to let me help.
31:00Oh.
31:01And your idea of helping is letting Tim just grope you?
31:05Hey, you shouldn't talk to your mother like that.
31:07She's a fine lady.
31:08Tim, could you just stay out of it?
31:10Yeah, mind your own business.
31:12Yeah, what's your problem, pal?
31:13Dude, you were feeling up her mother.
31:16It pissed me off, too.
31:17Come on, Susie.
31:18Let's go back inside.
31:20Let's go back inside.
31:21Lamont, give it up.
31:22You're not getting any.
31:27Why are you being this way?
31:28Just, I'm just trying to lighten things up.
31:31You stop acting like tonight was about helping me.
31:34You wanted to go out and have fun,
31:36and Lamont over there needed a date.
31:38It's not true.
31:39No, yes, it is.
31:42Okay, fine.
31:44It's true.
31:45I wanted to get out and have fun.
31:47Why shouldn't I?
31:48You know how depressed I've been over my breakup with Morty.
31:50Yeah, I do.
31:52And that's what makes me so crazy.
31:53You know, the difference between you and I,
31:55that you could be heartbroken
31:56and you can just move on,
31:58and I am just broken.
32:02I know you're sad.
32:10No, Mom.
32:11I'm not sad.
32:13And I'm not crabby.
32:15I'm devastated.
32:17And you keep acting like all I need is a couple of aspirin.
32:20Morty was just one guy in a series of guys for you.
32:24And Mike,
32:27he was the one.
32:29Why don't you get that?
32:41It's Lynette.
32:44Hello?
32:48Mrs. McCluskey.
32:52Mrs. McCluskey, you all right?
32:55How did you get in here?
32:57Uh, Mr. Mullins had a spare.
32:59Why didn't you open the door?
33:02Because I was hoping that you'd go away.
33:07Have you been taking your arthritis medication?
33:09I don't need to.
33:11Sometimes the pain goes away by itself.
33:13Uh-huh.
33:15Is that why you didn't open the door?
33:16Because of your hands?
33:20Mrs. McCluskey,
33:21do you have anyone that could help you out?
33:23A relative?
33:25A friend?
33:27I'm fine.
33:28Mrs. McCluskey.
33:30Okay.
33:35Okay.
33:37Uh, before you go,
33:40open these, would you?
33:41And put out the pills.
33:45Yeah.
33:47And don't get your hands all over them.
33:49God knows what your kids have picked up.
33:51Last thing I need is a case of pink eye.
33:52You're a piece of work, you know that?
33:57Well, this is crazy.
33:58Why'd they give you childproof caps?
34:00Yeah.
34:00First thing tomorrow, I'm taking you to the pharmacy and we'll get you new bottles.
34:04Don't do me any favors.
34:05You don't even like me.
34:06I don't want you doing anything because you feel obligated.
34:09Let me tell you something.
34:10Half of life is obligations.
34:12You don't want to go to your husband's company Christmas party, but you do.
34:16You don't want to sell candy so your kid's band can buy piccolos, but you do it.
34:20You attend your third cousin's wedding.
34:22You pick up the dry cleaning.
34:23That's life.
34:24It's obligations.
34:26And you are now my obligation.
34:29So tomorrow morning, I'll pick you up and we'll go to the pharmacy.
34:32Gee, I'm touched by your outpouring of compassion.
34:35We don't have to be friends.
34:37But we're two human beings living on the same piece of earth.
34:41We can at least try and help each other out once in a while.
34:49You know what?
34:54I am going to take this.
34:58Fine.
34:59I'll see you tomorrow morning.
35:01Pick me up at nine.
35:03And don't be late.
35:11Andrew, come here.
35:13I want you to see this.
35:18Um, what are you looking at?
35:20I'm looking at your baby pictures.
35:24Look at that one.
35:27How old was I there?
35:28Just four weeks old.
35:30I never told you this, but when I gave birth to you, there were complications.
35:46The umbilical cord wrapped around your neck and you stopped breathing.
35:50The room got very quiet.
35:53And I knew you were in trouble.
35:54So I turned to the doctor and I very calmly said that he was not to worry about me, that his job was to save your life.
36:03When I say I would die for you, that's not an expression.
36:11I mean it.
36:13Yeah, well, um, I'm going to go eat my sandwich.
36:19Andrew, please, just go and talk to Reverend Sykes.
36:23Oh, for God's sakes.
36:24He can counsel you.
36:25It can help.
36:26Mom, I don't need any help.
36:28All right?
36:28I'm fine.
36:30Why do you keep going on about this?
36:32Because if you don't change who you are, then you won't go to heaven.
36:42You, um...
36:45You don't think I'll go to heaven?
36:48No, I don't.
36:51And I need you there.
36:53I would be so lonely without you.
37:01Well, then I guess I better go talk to Reverend Sykes.
37:06Oh, Andrew.
37:09Thank you so much.
37:10You don't know how much that means to me.
37:11Oh, my gosh.
37:20Uh, are you okay?
37:21Oh, yeah, I just, uh, fell down the stairs.
37:24I'm fine.
37:25What's up?
37:26Susan still loves you.
37:30Wow.
37:31Um, okay.
37:33Look, this is just not a good time for this conversation.
37:37She just misses you so much.
37:39Sophie, I just found out that someone I was very close to is dead.
37:43Oh.
37:44I've really got to figure out what I'm going to do,
37:45so I just don't have time to think about Susan right now.
37:48She's just very, very unhappy.
37:50And if you could just...
37:51I really don't.
37:52I'm sorry.
37:54I'm sorry.
37:54I'm sorry.
38:22I swear before Almighty God,
38:32I won't reveal a word that's said here today.
38:36Now, what's on your mind?
38:41Well, here's the thing.
38:43I lied to my parents.
38:45I'm not gay.
38:47You're not?
38:48Not really.
38:49Look, all I know is I wanted to get the hell out of that camp.
38:55So, I lied to my parents,
38:57and I told them that I was really worried
38:59that I was having feelings for other guys,
39:01and they did exactly what I wanted them to.
39:05They are such tools.
39:07I'm sorry.
39:07Just so I'm clear.
39:09Are you a heterosexual, or aren't you?
39:12Look, I love vanilla ice cream, okay?
39:16But every now and then,
39:19I'm probably going to be in the mood for chocolate.
39:22You know what I'm saying?
39:26I do.
39:27But God would prefer you stick to the vanilla.
39:31I don't believe in God.
39:33You don't?
39:35No.
39:36Sorry.
39:39You know, your mother's going to be devastated.
39:41She's been praying so hard for you to change.
39:44Well, that's the good news.
39:45I am going to change.
39:48Big time.
39:49I'm not sure I follow.
39:54You know what my mom said to me last night?
39:58She said she doesn't think I'm going to heaven.
40:02Can you believe that?
40:05I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
40:08But the only way you can know paradise
40:10is by repenting your sins.
40:12When she said that to me,
40:18it suddenly hit me how I was going to get back at her.
40:22From now on,
40:23I'm going to be so good.
40:25I'm going to eat my vegetables.
40:28I'm going to get good grades.
40:29I'm going to say yes, ma'am, and no, ma'am.
40:32I'm going to make her believe
40:33that God has delivered her
40:35this little miracle.
40:37Until one day,
40:40when she least expects it,
40:43I'm going to do something so awful
40:46that it's going to rock her world.
40:49I mean, it is really going to destroy her.
40:52And when that day comes,
40:57trust me,
40:59I'll know paradise.
41:01Yes, life is a journey.
41:18One that is much better traveled
41:20with a companion by our side.
41:24Of course, that companion
41:25can be just about anyone.
41:28Miss McCluskey!
41:29We're going to be late for the doctor.
41:32A neighbor on the other side of the street.
41:35I'm coming.
41:36Jeez, hold your water.
41:40There you go.
41:42No more post, not.
41:44Or the man on the other side of the bed.
41:52The companion can be a mother
41:55with good intentions.
41:56Thank you for a wonderful service, reverend.
42:00Or a child who's up to no good.
42:03Very inspirational.
42:10Still, despite our best intentions,
42:14some of us will lose our companions
42:16along the way.
42:17And then the journey becomes unbearable.
42:27You see, human beings are designed
42:30for many things.
42:33But loneliness
42:35isn't one of them.
42:37You see, human beings are gonna be
42:42not enough, and it's not enough to hurt you.
42:42And we'll be back with you.
42:44And we're all seeing the time in there.
42:45And to the event is a way that we're
42:46able to hug you.
42:47And to the event is about
42:48you to make a new life.
42:49The person who's up to no good.
42:50They're gonna be so hungry.
42:51But that's so my wife.
42:52So while I'm looking for a long life,
42:53you're doing good change in the day,
42:54I'm gonna be so hungry.
42:56I'm gonna be so hungry.
42:57So I'm gonna be so hungry.
42:57And I was gonna be so hungry.
42:58I've been so hungry.
42:58I'm gonna be so hungry.
43:00I'm gonna be so hungry.
43:00I know.
43:01And I'm gonna be so hungry.
43:02I'm gonna be so hungry.
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