- 4 months ago
Celebs Go Dating (2016) Season 14 Episode 18
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00:00Tonight!
00:01Your dipsis has swollen to three times the size.
00:05Let's cut in questions.
00:07Have you discussed money?
00:09That makes me uncomfortable.
00:10And awkward answers.
00:12Have you enjoyed any of your dates?
00:13No.
00:14As a celeb?
00:15They want me to ask, what are your intentions?
00:18And I'm going, are you my dad?
00:19No.
00:20I would love to go for that drink with you again.
00:23I feel like I'm begging.
00:25Dating!
00:26Can you put your legs behind your head?
00:28Uh, later.
00:29Later?
00:44Welcome to Celebs Go Dating, where our agency finale gala
00:48is bearing down on us like Will Smith at the Oscars.
00:52Hello!
00:54And ready to slap our celebs into shape are our experts of enchantment,
00:58who are already in the bloody office, for once.
01:01Who do we have in today?
01:03Oh, so we've got Kerry and Paolo and Donna and Sam.
01:07So, actually, I better be off.
01:09Busy.
01:10Busy all day.
01:11Because the first batch aren't far off.
01:13Wow, look at that.
01:14Look at that.
01:15Thank you, T.
01:16Thanks, babe.
01:17Bye.
01:18Our time with the celebrities is coming to a close, so they do need to start deciding who,
01:23if anybody, they will be bringing with them to the gala.
01:26Some of them already know, which is why we have Kerry and Paolo coming in to see us today.
01:31Did any of us think we'd be at the point in this agency where Kerry was coming in with a partner?
01:38I actually had a tenor on her and the Beast hooking up.
01:41Kerry has a boyfriend, Kerry has a boyfriend.
01:44I was in the session when Kerry was first introduced to Paolo, and I saw how she handled that,
01:51and I think that she needs to be reminded of where she started.
01:54Yeah.
01:55So, I'd love to be able to jump in.
01:57I want to know that they have the tools for long-term relationships.
02:00Absolutely.
02:01Girl, I'm about to have a panic attack.
02:05Well, you better get moving, because here they are.
02:08Looking like they've just got married or been to the small claims court.
02:11It's Kerry and Paolo.
02:14Ooh.
02:15Hello, celebrity dating agency.
02:17Hi, it's Kerry and Paolo.
02:19Oh, the two of you.
02:22Come in, dude.
02:23Oh, oh, oh.
02:24Am I ready?
02:25Not the same adult.
02:27Am I ready?
02:28Won't you love to be loved?
02:33Oh, look at you both.
02:36Oh, oh.
02:38I'm in a group home.
02:40Hello, hello.
02:43I'm overflowing with excitement.
02:46Seeing Kerry and her new squeeze Paolo makes me bubble up inside.
02:50In fact, I might uncork a dose of my effervescence.
02:54Don't worry, guys.
02:55There's a dry cleaners around the corner.
02:57You have a fan club here, practically.
02:59Oh, really?
03:00Oh, yes.
03:01It's nice, isn't it?
03:02Nice, isn't it?
03:03Oh.
03:04Look at you both.
03:06Oh, gosh.
03:07I'm cock a hoop.
03:09I really am.
03:10You'll cock her anything.
03:12So, are those three bathing Tom's effervescence?
03:15Across town, the only thing S Club John and his hot hairdresser Jordan have been bathing
03:21in is each other's love.
03:22And maybe a hot tub.
03:24Ever since locking lips on their first date, they've been inseparable.
03:29And officially tied each other down at the brunch.
03:32I'm only, like, a one-person guy, and Jordan said the same.
03:36So, officially off the market, yeah, so.
03:38Wow!
03:39Oh, my God!
03:42But shit is about to get real for these two lovebirds, as someone very exciting is about
03:46to join this S Club party.
03:48It's only bloody S Club Joe.
03:50I'm really excited for Joe to meet Jordan today.
03:53Joe is my best mate.
03:54I've known her for 28 years.
03:56So, yeah, I can't wait for her to meet Jordan.
03:58I know that she's, like, a big sister to John.
04:00So, he really, really does genuinely love Joe to bits.
04:04So, yeah, obviously, I do want to make a good impression on her.
04:08Maybe I'll give her a free hairdo.
04:10I don't know.
04:11Fix that fringe of hers.
04:13Maybe don't leave you that.
04:15I am going to say I'm a little bit nervous, to be honest.
04:17Why?
04:18I don't know.
04:19Yeah, so.
04:20Joe's just like me in a better wig.
04:22Seriously.
04:23That's it.
04:24Hopefully we'll have a good time.
04:26You will do.
04:27You will do.
04:28Well, let's find out, shall we?
04:29Here she comes.
04:30Some proper pop royalty.
04:32It's S Club Joe.
04:34With John being my best mate, I definitely need to know what his intentions are,
04:39because he's not going to go around hurting my boy, that's for sure.
04:42First rule of S Club, don't mess with S Club.
04:45Good luck, Jordan.
04:46S Club.
04:47Oh, here she comes.
04:48I'm coming.
04:49Pink lady.
04:50You all right, mate?
04:51Pink lady today.
04:52You look gorgeous.
04:53You look lovely.
04:54Look at us in the summers.
04:55I know.
04:56You all right, mate?
04:57Yeah.
04:58Hello.
04:59This is Jordan.
05:00Nice to meet you.
05:01How are you doing?
05:02You look beautiful.
05:04So do you.
05:05Thanks.
05:06Oh, let's get into it.
05:07I didn't know what you wanted, so I just got your usual.
05:09Ooh, slippery nipple with extra nipple.
05:11Delicious.
05:12Oh, thank you so much.
05:15Cheers, everyone.
05:16Cheers, guys.
05:17Cheers.
05:18This is nice.
05:19Eyes.
05:20Eyes.
05:21Eyes.
05:22How's things?
05:23How's it all been going?
05:24It's been fun.
05:25Yeah, good.
05:26It's very, very exciting.
05:27It's nice to see you happy.
05:28It makes a change, doesn't it?
05:29Well, I don't see you smile much.
05:33He's not a natural-born smile, is John.
05:36What was John like an espel?
05:39Similar to now, bit less forehead.
05:41Well, I think where John was so young, he was sort of like still trying to find himself
05:47a lot, weren't you, really?
05:48And I think especially being gay and having to keep it all completely hidden away.
05:54Yeah, yeah.
05:55And I think when you're that age and in the public eye, it's...
05:59It's hard for anyone, isn't it?
06:01It's hard, yeah, it is.
06:02And I don't think people really appreciate how hard it actually probably was for you.
06:06Because we all knew.
06:07We didn't take no notice.
06:08Yeah.
06:09It's just like, you know what I mean?
06:10It was a normal thing, weren't it?
06:11Yeah.
06:12But...
06:13He's a bit of a gay icon, isn't he?
06:15Oh, yeah.
06:17Absolutely.
06:18It wasn't for me anyway.
06:19And me.
06:20Look at him.
06:21I mean, and you know what?
06:22I've got to say, I never thought, if I'm being completely honest, that you would ever
06:27meet anyone.
06:28Neither did I.
06:29I just didn't.
06:30Nothing like a confidence boost from your best mate.
06:34From one pop princess to another now, as back at the agency, Kerry is heading up to
06:39see the agents with Paolo.
06:41Ka-Paolo, go with it, have been hitting it off big style, with Kerry even introducing
06:46him to daughter Heidi, and Bezzy Danielle isn't that Mel B's sister Brown.
06:51I really like Kerry.
06:52We get on very well.
06:54You're making my friend happy, basically.
06:57Hello.
06:58Hi.
06:59That's the one we met.
07:00We heard, we heard.
07:01Here he is.
07:02Here he is.
07:03Good.
07:04You are both looking so posh.
07:06Are you ganged?
07:07Are we diddling?
07:08Please get comfortable.
07:09All right.
07:10You're all right?
07:11Yeah.
07:12My man, how are you doing?
07:13I'm not too bad.
07:14It's nice to see you again.
07:15How do you feel being here?
07:16Good.
07:17Good.
07:18To be honest, I think Kerry is more nervous than me.
07:20I think I'm pretty sure.
07:22Okay.
07:23Let's start with Paolo.
07:26You made a visit to Kerry's, we'll say the friendship family circle.
07:31Paolo met my best friend, Danielle.
07:33And Heidi was there.
07:35It was a really nice experience.
07:36She's a big strong character.
07:38Obviously you have to be if you're going to be close friends with Kerry as well.
07:41What are you laughing at?
07:46Strong character and some ear defenders, wouldn't Guy Miss?
07:50You could see that Kerry and Paolo are serious about each other.
07:53But I'm going to need to ask some difficult questions if they're going to move forward long term.
07:58So what would you say has been the hardest part of the relationship so far?
08:03For me, it's the press.
08:05I've sat him down.
08:06I've prepped him.
08:08I said, don't reply to anybody.
08:10Don't comment on anything.
08:12They're going to go into your friends, your family.
08:14They'll look into your past.
08:15The press put pictures of me topless, right?
08:17I used to be a PT.
08:19Jesus Christ.
08:20Look at the size of him.
08:21Any more of those photos knocking about?
08:26A lot of the comments were like,
08:27oh, it's like he's got no brain cells in his head or...
08:30There was once a time though that would have really impacted me.
08:33Now, I don't take that on board because that's their own projection.
08:36Because I care about this person a lot and I see a strong future.
08:39There's nothing that can be really thrown at us right now
08:42that we can't discuss, communicate on and talk about really as well.
08:47That's a big thing.
08:48It was like I said to you, please don't read any comments.
08:50Yeah.
08:51And he sent a message back on, they're empty words.
08:52Literally are.
08:53It's people just projecting their own emptiness on you.
08:57I've blocked out the noise because I'm really enjoying this connection
09:01and I just want to see it grow.
09:03The connection's been mind-blowing, I'm not going to lie.
09:07It's been...
09:08Yeah, it has. It has.
09:09I've not experienced anything like it.
09:10Honestly, it's like he's always been there.
09:13It's so amazing but I'm also very aware that it's being played out
09:17for everybody to see and watch.
09:19And that I don't like.
09:21Yeah, that can happen on a TV dating show.
09:24I mean, this is better than each one of us could have expected.
09:28Let me hit you with very challenging questions for couples
09:31to see how much you've talked about this.
09:33Who's doing the bins?
09:34OK, so the first is, have you discussed marriage?
09:37I'd marry Paolo in a heartbeat.
09:39I think he's amazing.
09:40I really would.
09:41Good to see after three marriages she's learnt to take it slow.
09:45Second question.
09:47This is a big topic.
09:49If you look down why couples divorce,
09:51right at the top is always around finances.
09:55Right?
09:56It gets ugly.
09:57Have you discussed if you're going to co-mingle the money?
10:01That makes me uncomfortable.
10:02Money makers, I've always been used for money.
10:04Yeah.
10:05I've always been the breadwinner.
10:06And this is unusual for me, having somebody else pay for things.
10:11Paolo, you know what the press is going to say.
10:13Yeah.
10:14The press is going to say, look at this young boy toy that Carrie has
10:17and she's paying for everything.
10:19Yeah.
10:20So already, get ahead of that by having the discussion right now.
10:24Yeah.
10:25So therefore, when the drama comes, you've already decided
10:28what your values are and what the execution play is going to be.
10:31100%.
10:32Right?
10:33I think that's going to be important.
10:34I say, before you even talk about marriage, you need to be talking about money.
10:39Basically, what they're saying is no prenup, no bunk-up, right?
10:43Five years later.
10:44Two years later, Mark W Теперь.
10:46Four years later, we've got a job at the event.
10:47We need to be talking about money.
10:48Let's get some money after marriage.
10:49We need to be talking about money.
10:50Speaking of money before marriage, coming in hot from the Hogwarts Express.
10:51It's Sam.
10:52There ain't no wand in my pocket.
10:53Prince.
10:54Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
10:57Ooh.
11:01Hello, celebrity dating agency.
11:03Hey, Tom.
11:04Oh, hello, Sammy.
11:06Come in.
11:07Money grab-up.
11:09You won't come back any time.
11:12I've already had you kind.
11:14This is your way back.
11:16Money grab-up.
11:20Hello, Sammy.
11:21Hello.
11:22How are you?
11:23How are you? Good to see you.
11:25Oh, lovely to see you.
11:26Lovely to see you.
11:27Make yourself comfy.
11:29I'm not going to take this off. It's OK.
11:30Please, strip if you like.
11:32Yeah.
11:33Has he got two of the same shirt on?
11:35Y'all are double beige, babes.
11:37Well, I wore a little green today
11:39because your dipsis has swollen to three times the size, you know.
11:44Get some Savla on that, Tom Sharpish.
11:46I moved it to my bedroom and it's got so stunky.
11:52That's good.
11:52I think it's because I've put a champagne bottle in it.
11:56You put a champagne bottle in it?
11:57Mm, this is what I do. I shove it into the root.
12:00I hope you took the cork out at least.
12:06While those two talk fears,
12:08let's see if things have gone flat over with the Triple Js.
12:11John, Jordan and Joe.
12:13What are your intentions, Jordan?
12:18Yeah, I'm hoping that obviously me and John
12:20continue this.
12:21and see what happens.
12:24Like, I genuinely love...
12:26Whoa, whoa, whoa.
12:27Did he just drop the L-bomb?
12:29Being with him.
12:30False alarm, everyone.
12:31Stand down, stand down.
12:32Sorry, Katona's got to me.
12:33When I say love, I just mean, like, I love.
12:35It's because he's northern.
12:36I know, yeah.
12:38So, yeah.
12:38Am I love?
12:39Yeah.
12:40And I hear that you're a hairdresser.
12:41I am.
12:41Which is fantastic.
12:42What do you think of my fringe?
12:44Uh-oh.
12:45Say it looks amazing, Jordan.
12:46Don't look.
12:47Don't hesitate.
12:48Just say it's the best fringe in the history of fringes.
12:51I mean, I've...
12:52I...
12:53Jordan!
12:55Say you like it, Jordan.
12:57Yeah, he's fucked it.
12:58Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating,
13:10where S-Club John's squeeze Jordan is in a close shave
13:14after S-Club Joe quizzed him on a fringe.
13:17Don't get snippy now.
13:18I mean, I...
13:19I...
13:20generally prefer you without a fringe.
13:24Because you've got good born...
13:25He ain't for you.
13:26Yeah, seriously, though, don't fuck with a fringe.
13:32While those three laugh it up,
13:34back at the agency,
13:35P-Dawg has some serious questions for Kerry and Paolo.
13:39You know, we haven't talked about age difference.
13:41So what's the age difference between the two of you?
13:4311 years.
13:4411 years.
13:44OK, so...
13:45He's older.
13:47Clearly.
13:49So, so, have you at all felt that...
13:54Not really.
13:54...that age difference at all?
13:55No, not really.
13:56At first, for me, it was a big deal.
13:58I think that's my own insecurity.
13:59It's more of a my problem than it was his problem.
14:02Yeah.
14:02Paolo's such an old soul, I think,
14:04and he's got...
14:05And I'm such a...
14:06Immature.
14:07I've not really grown up yet.
14:10So we kind of just, like, meet in the middle.
14:12He's into MILFs, anyway.
14:14MILFs, gilfs, great gilfs.
14:15I'm not fussy.
14:16Do you think she's a MILF?
14:18I think she's a MILF.
14:20There we go.
14:21We're all in the same place.
14:22Oh, my God.
14:23You could see Carrie and Paolo are into each other,
14:25which is great.
14:26Now's the time to apply what we've been teaching them
14:29so they can guarantee their future together.
14:31We want this to go forever.
14:34Yeah.
14:34So do we.
14:35100%, yeah.
14:36And that's the reason why it's so important
14:37to talk about these things ahead of time.
14:40Lots to think about.
14:41Thank you very much.
14:42Thank you so much.
14:43All right, I need to go change my toxins.
14:45What's in that moment?
14:47Thank you so much, guys.
14:48Thank you so much for your time.
14:51All right, see you later.
14:51See you later.
14:52Bye, darling.
14:53My turn.
14:54Now, go on.
14:54Okay.
14:56See you later.
14:57Let's go.
14:58Carrie Katona is in a committed relationship.
15:02I think it's the honeymoon period.
15:04And they need to have these tough conversations
15:06that we're asking them to have
15:07or they'll never be able to survive it.
15:09With those two lovebirds flapping off into the sunset,
15:12there's still one cross-examination to finish.
15:18Let's see how S Club John
15:20and Jordan's hair-raising drink is going.
15:23Can you sing?
15:24No, I've heard him sing.
15:26Terrible.
15:27He's got this one going on.
15:28All right, sexy dad at a wedding.
15:32Okay.
15:33That's good to see.
15:34Top off the whole shebang.
15:36I look forward to that.
15:38You two are very, very cute together.
15:40You make a lovely couple.
15:42I think we do make quite a good couple.
15:43You really, really do.
15:45And you've got a very beautiful, kind face.
15:47Good eyes.
15:48You can see a lot about a person through the eyes.
15:51And even more from a stool sample.
15:54It's about time.
15:55I've told mummy.
15:56That never gets less creepy, does it?
15:57Oh, mummy.
15:58Wow, this must be quite a seriously sort of thing.
16:01Yeah.
16:02Oh, you're going to love her.
16:03She wants her free, I do.
16:04Yeah, basically.
16:05Oh, yeah, of course.
16:06So do I.
16:08Yeah.
16:09Oh, no, do you know what?
16:10You've got my stamp of approval.
16:12Oh, great.
16:13Now, about that fringe.
16:15It's nice to finally meet you.
16:16So, cheers.
16:17Yeah.
16:17Cheers to you guys.
16:18Cheers, guys.
16:19I'm really, really happy for both of you.
16:21I really am.
16:22It's nice to see.
16:23Thanks, mate.
16:26It was great.
16:27I mean, I always loved seeing Jo.
16:29And I think she genuinely really liked Jordan.
16:32I think she would have told me otherwise.
16:33She would have told him otherwise, I think, as well.
16:35And he seemed to get on with her really well.
16:37I absolutely adored Jordan.
16:38I thought he was everything.
16:41If I could handpick someone for John, that would be it.
16:46And I really hope that I will be putting that hat on very, very soon.
16:50It's really nice that Jordan started to meet my friends.
16:53Obviously, Jo's the first one.
16:54And then, obviously, the big one is mummy.
16:57You've got to stop that.
16:58Mummy milk.
16:59I'm very excited, but still very keen to just take it one day at a time.
17:02But the future is looking very good.
17:05Oh, lovely stuff.
17:06And not one shitty S Club 7 pun.
17:08Really great work, guys.
17:10Yeah, the future's bright.
17:12Definitely.
17:13I think I will be reaching for the stars.
17:16Oh, for fuck's sake.
17:17Right, I'm telling mummy.
17:19While JJ head off, back at the agency,
17:22Sam and Tom are unbelievably still talking about greenery.
17:27There's something about house plants that just...
17:29They just do it for me.
17:30Weirdo.
17:33Hello?
17:34Hi, T.
17:35Do you have Sam there?
17:36Yes, he is.
17:37Oh, no, I was really enjoying that three-hour chat about plants.
17:41Shame.
17:42Great, yeah, Paul and I are ready.
17:43You could just send him up, please.
17:44Yes, certainly.
17:45All right, bye, darling.
17:48Well...
17:49Am I off?
17:49My baron of botany.
17:50These are my favourite days, you know.
17:52I love the dating, but this is...
17:53Do you?
17:53Oh, yeah.
17:54Oh, well, you're always welcome, you know.
17:57Thank you so much.
17:58Mi casa zu casa.
17:59Tom, thank you.
18:00You're very, very welcome.
18:02Enormous luck.
18:03Oh, he's gonna need it.
18:04At the brunch, Sam was feeling the squeeze with Mahan after flouncing out of their double date.
18:10Okay, Mahan, will you give Sam a second chance to go on a date with him again?
18:13Yeah.
18:14I would like to get to know him a little bit better.
18:16And even then, it was not plain sailing for him.
18:18More plain crashing into the sea and exploding into a shower of shit.
18:22Yeah, you're quite intriguing.
18:23Am I?
18:24Yeah.
18:24Even though you walked out on the date?
18:26Oh, yeah, I did.
18:28But despite the turbulence, he still managed to bag a post-date drink.
18:32Let's definitely go for a drink.
18:33Let's definitely, yeah, definitely.
18:34Let's do it.
18:38Come in.
18:40Hello.
18:41Sam.
18:42Sam the man.
18:43How are you?
18:44We're really good.
18:45How are you?
18:46I'm good.
18:46You guys always look so macular.
18:48Well, same to you.
18:49Always so done up.
18:50Oh, they know, Sam.
18:52They know.
18:53So, let's talk about Mahan.
18:54Tell us about how that date went.
18:55We went to this ramen place, which is great.
18:58Seeing you slurping up some ramen, that's exactly the date I want to see you in.
19:01A bit messy, you know?
19:02So, good date?
19:03Good date, yeah.
19:04Not great.
19:05When I like someone, I'm so in.
19:07I haven't had that feeling with Mahan.
19:09But I think she's beautiful, she's a little bit older.
19:11I think it's quite interesting, too.
19:12There you go.
19:13So, we asked Mahan if she thought you two made a good match.
19:17And she said, we have things in common.
19:20So do I and a horse, but I don't want to date one.
19:24So, I feel that, yes, we could be good for each other.
19:28Okay?
19:29Good.
19:30We asked Mahan if she would like to see you again.
19:33And she said, she doesn't know.
19:37She said, he changes his mind so quickly.
19:40It feels like he's telling me what I want to hear.
19:43For example, after the date, when he asked me for a drink, but then left straight away.
19:50What?
19:50He's done another runner?
19:52I did obviously say, let's go for a drink, and then I just get in the car.
19:55But did you tell her that?
19:56Yeah, I said, I'm going.
19:57But previous to that, you said, let's go for another drink?
20:00Yeah, I did, yeah.
20:01And then you turned?
20:02And then I went home.
20:03Sam continues to do this again and again on his dates.
20:10We've tried talking to him, but he just doesn't listen.
20:13He has a hard head.
20:14So it's now time to put him on the spot.
20:16And here she is.
20:18Only joking, I wish.
20:20I think you should call her.
20:22What now?
20:23You should totally call Mahan.
20:24Right now?
20:25What, right now?
20:26As in, right now, now?
20:27Yes, why not?
20:28Oh, yes, fucking please.
20:31While those three work out the agency Wi-Fi code,
20:34downstairs our next celeb seeking connection is arriving.
20:37It's our very own human hotspot, Donna Preston.
20:42Oh, my chum.
20:46Come in, love.
20:47We got the vibe, so powerful.
20:50We got the grace, we got the love.
20:52Sunshine, my only sunshine.
21:00You make me happy when skies are grey.
21:04You'll never know, dear.
21:08So if I take an acid, what the fuck is this?
21:11Please don't take my sunshine away.
21:17Well, that's enough of that, bollocks.
21:19Back upstairs then to see Sam pluck up the courage
21:21to ask Mahan on another date.
21:23This is my chance.
21:24My hair looks good.
21:26Come on, Sam.
21:26Time to make it up to her.
21:28Try not to hang up in a panic and jump out the window.
21:30Here we go.
21:33Mahan!
21:34Hello.
21:36I'm good, how are you?
21:37I'm good.
21:38How was your weekend?
21:39And my weekend was...
21:40I had a lovely time.
21:41Yeah.
21:42I really enjoyed our day, by the way.
21:45Oh, yeah, I thought we got on well.
21:47You enjoyed the ramen.
21:48You did a runner again.
21:50I enjoyed our chat.
21:51I think it was sweet.
21:55No, the day itself went really well, I agree.
21:58Like, I had a really good time with you.
22:00And then obviously we were supposed to go for a drink
22:02and then you bounced off.
22:03So I was a little bit confused.
22:05Yeah, I would...
22:06I just wanted an early night.
22:07Yeah, and he couldn't find a plant sitter.
22:10But I...
22:10I would love to go for that drink with you again.
22:13I feel like I'm begging.
22:24That's because you are.
22:26Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating,
22:47where Sam is fumbling like a mole after a cataract operation
22:50as he tries to convince Mahan to go on another date.
22:53Sam, not the mole.
22:56I think we just need to get to know each other more.
23:00Especially after what happened, you know,
23:02when we went to the vineyard.
23:05Ah, the first time you ran out on a great days.
23:08That's great.
23:13Was that a yes?
23:15OK, sounds good.
23:16Really look forward to seeing you.
23:18Bye-bye.
23:19Imagine what she'd be like if she wasn't looking forward to it.
23:23Guys, FaceTime's not my thing.
23:25We could tell.
23:27That was miserable, though, man.
23:28Thanks, man.
23:29Appreciate it.
23:30That was miserable.
23:32You know why, Sam?
23:33Why?
23:33Because that's, you're having to actually do you.
23:37Yeah.
23:37Real, OK?
23:39This is real life, OK?
23:41And I think that is the challenge that you have.
23:44Do you know what it is?
23:44I feel like I haven't, I haven't been able to fully be me at times.
23:49Yeah.
23:49Because this is how it feels, right?
23:52You've come here, and you've been very intentional
23:54about showing a different side.
23:56But unfortunately, that different side that you've shown
24:00is not your true self.
24:03It's a version of yourself.
24:06In order for us to truly help you,
24:08we have to know truly who you are.
24:12Well, the way that someone knows you give a vague shit
24:15is by asking better questions.
24:18Ask her, where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?
24:21No one cares about what your favorite food is.
24:23No one gives a shit about your holiday.
24:25No one cares about your favorite zoo animal.
24:28Pizza, Lanzarote, Capybara.
24:30If Sam wants to make any progress, he needs to get real.
24:34It's great that he wants to change the perception around him,
24:37but only he can make this real change.
24:39He just needs to drop the facade
24:41and turn up to date as his real self.
24:45But who is the real Sam Prince?
24:47Sam, thank you.
24:48I really hope you feel that we do have, you know,
24:51nothing but love for you.
24:52Thank you, guys. I appreciate you all.
24:54Much love. Have fun with Mahana.
24:55We can't wait to hear how it goes.
24:57Thank you, guys.
24:58Bye-bye.
24:58See you later.
24:59Bye-bye.
24:59As Captain Bage buggers off,
25:12across town, the man with more brain cells than I've had hot dinners,
25:15and I've had a shitload,
25:17Mark is on his way to his third date with Deanne.
25:20I'm really looking forward to seeing Deanne again.
25:22She's fantastic.
25:23I know she'll look amazing.
25:24Last time we saw Mark, he was on a date with Josie,
25:28and despite her being a keen bean...
25:30So I can't cook, Mark.
25:31If you want to get married, I can't cook.
25:33But I'm brilliant at maths.
25:34Give me 244 times whatever.
25:38Mark only had eyes for one lady.
25:40She was nice, but wasn't for me.
25:42Can I have another date with Deanna, please?
25:44Well, I'm not saying no to him.
25:45He's fucking enormous.
25:46The agents want me to do her homework
25:51to basically put her on the spot a bit more,
25:54and almost like, what are her intentions?
25:56Is she planning to seduce me or something?
25:58You'll know if she brings a box to stand on.
26:00We all establish I'm useless at reading romantic cues.
26:04I more or less go on what they say,
26:06and occasionally little things like,
26:08is she smiling or whatever?
26:09That's about it.
26:11Well, keep them peeled, beastie,
26:12and who knows, you might be in a cab to Snogsville.
26:16Someone whose journey to Snogsville
26:19has been delayed by a stop-off at Shit Date Junction
26:21is Donna, who is heading up to see the agents.
26:25Hello!
26:26Donna!
26:27My queen!
26:28You two look fantastic.
26:30Why, thank you.
26:30Ray of sunshines.
26:32Are you okay?
26:33We are fabulous.
26:35Yes!
26:35How are you?
26:36I'm good, thank you.
26:39Donna's last date with Mike got off to a shaky start.
26:43You host a podcast?
26:44I do, yeah.
26:45I wear my geekdom on my sleeve, very proud of it.
26:48Yeah.
26:48It's called Attack of the 50-Foot Nerds.
26:50Okay.
26:51And then got shakier, killed over, and fell into a ditch on fire.
26:56I'm a big fan of Lego.
26:57My birthday's coming up in a few weeks.
26:59Yeah.
26:59I've booked a week off work.
27:00Right.
27:01I'm going to build the old 1966 Adam West Batmobile.
27:05Right.
27:06I think she's more of a Michael Keaton fan.
27:09Mike was really sweet.
27:11No spark.
27:13Just not my cup of tea.
27:16Huh.
27:16Yeah.
27:17Well, that sounds like a shit date, and I'm sorry.
27:20Remind me who sets them up, Dr T.
27:22I'm not saying it wasn't a crack date.
27:24You'd already picked out flaws.
27:27But you did look like my ex.
27:29We've noticed that Donna is shutting dates down quite quickly.
27:32If she's not finding any connection, that really is fine,
27:35because, I mean, it does just happen.
27:37However, my concern is that Donna isn't giving these guys a chance,
27:40and if she's not doing that,
27:42then basically she's self-sabotaging her chances at finding love.
27:46Have you enjoyed any of your dates that you've been on so far at the agency?
27:50Mm, no.
27:52I enjoyed Gary's banter with the old Gazette.
27:57We had a good time.
27:59I just don't think I've connected with anyone yet.
28:03How do you know that something is brewing there?
28:06I feel like I have touched base on love with someone who I couldn't have
28:12because they were in an arranged marriage.
28:16And that feeling was just incredible.
28:19It was like something, like I was, it sounds bizarre,
28:24but I felt nauseous because I was so excited, you know.
28:28And he made me laugh all the time, and he cared.
28:31But I don't know if that was real.
28:34I'm not sure.
28:36So, yeah, maybe, I don't know.
28:39Was it love or was it infatuation?
28:43Probably.
28:44It was probably infatuation.
28:45It's confusing.
28:47I have experienced both.
28:49I mean, I still do.
28:50But I think infatuation can be extremely strong.
28:54Yeah.
28:54That most people I know can't distinguish.
28:59So what's the difference between that and love, then?
29:01Love is a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
29:06And love is also a verb.
29:09It's an action.
29:11It isn't just a feeling, okay?
29:13It's an action.
29:15While Donna discovers love...
29:17Someone else on the lookout for action is Mark, who is taking Deanne out for a curry on their third date,
29:25where he wants to work out what her intentions are for him.
29:28I love his personality.
29:30I love the way he is.
29:33We're taking every day as it comes, and we go from there.
29:38Sounds hopeful, Beastie.
29:40Let's get on with it.
29:41Hello there.
29:43Hello.
29:44Well, you look amazing, as always.
29:48Straight in for the shoulder kiss, saucy boy.
29:51Well, gorgeous weather.
29:52I know.
29:53Beautiful companion.
29:54And curry.
29:55Don't go too heavy on the spice, though, Mark.
29:58You don't want to be asking Deanne to the gala from the gents.
30:01We're on the date.
30:02It's going well.
30:03Now to keep my eyes peeled for any signs that she might find me attractive.
30:07So these were the old spice warehouses, I believe, when it's the City of London.
30:12And they've converted it.
30:16Oh, really?
30:17This is why the design is they were big warehouses and offices on top.
30:21Presumably, we're pretty close to the docks where they bought the spices and stuff from
30:26all over the world.
30:29Fascinating.
30:30You know, I love history.
30:31I absolutely love history.
30:34I mean, I don't know about Deanne, but I find Beastie way more attractive after that history
30:37lesson.
30:38Dock me.
30:42Anyway, back at the agency, Donna is looking for help trying to put her dating disasters
30:46in the past.
30:47What is your dating goal or relationship goal?
30:51I think at the moment it's to have a nice first date, to laugh on a first date.
30:57Great.
30:58And that's...
30:59Just got to get that first.
31:01Yeah, OK.
31:02And then we can think about the second and the third and so on.
31:06Are you excited to go on a date?
31:11Er...
31:12If I am honest, no.
31:17If I am really thinking about it, I am not excited.
31:21I just can't be fucked to get ready again, if I'm honest.
31:25You know, I'm wasting all these bloody eyelashes.
31:29I'm wasting all this bloody makeup and setting spray.
31:32You look fierce.
31:34You look hot, OK?
31:36And try and think of the dates, not as a chore.
31:39You know, the dating pool, you know, you have to be in it to win it.
31:42OK?
31:43You really do.
31:43Now, we would love to wave a magic wand and go, ta-da!
31:47If we did that, we'd be trillionaires.
31:50Yeah.
31:50OK, the only way to really find that perfect person or as near as that fits for you is
31:56to get out there, kid, and get those lashes on and go and try again and again and again
32:02because you never know what you could be missing out on.
32:06OK.
32:06On that note, should we show your next date?
32:09Oh, my God, yeah.
32:10Come on, man.
32:10Yes, go!
32:11Oh, my God.
32:12There you go.
32:12God, OK.
32:13Bloody hell, someone's perked up.
32:15Ben.
32:17Ben?
32:18Ben.
32:19Billy Rickey!
32:20Come on, we!
32:21Lead, lead, lead, lead, lead, lead.
32:22Electrician, 37, six foot, a Virgo, like someone fiery.
32:27OK.
32:28That's what we're thinking about old Betty Boy there, wearing a white jean.
32:31White jeans is a confident man.
32:34Oh, um, yeah, Ben looks sweet.
32:39OK, well, she's not completely shut it down yet.
32:42Bare minimum, we want you to have fun.
32:44We want to have something that makes you feel good, that you walk away and you're like,
32:47you know what, that was worth sticking me lashes on.
32:49Shove all the ones that haven't worked out for you to the side.
32:52They've just been the warm-up act for Ben.
32:54For Ben.
32:55Mm-hmm.
32:56Benny Boy.
32:57Come on then, Ben.
32:59Have fun.
33:01Goodbye.
33:02Bye, darling.
33:03Bye.
33:04Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
33:10She's deflated.
33:11We know that happens when you have a couple of crap dates one after the other.
33:15It's hard to motivate.
33:16But it only takes one person.
33:18While Donna heads out looking for the one, the man who seems to meet the one on every
33:23date, Louis, is arriving for his third date with Harriet.
33:29But one was not enough for our man at the brunch as he asked both Alana and Harriet out.
33:33Greedy boy.
33:34I really get on with both of you two, so if you would like to go on a date, Harriet and
33:41Alana.
33:44But his date with Alana fizzled out quicker than an underwater fireworks display.
33:49There's no point in, like, dragging something along.
33:54I've got a train to catch.
33:55Oh, you've got a train?
33:56Yeah.
33:58So let's hope this goes better, or he could be heading to the gala on his own.
34:02My game plan is just be myself.
34:04Throughout the whole experience, I've had pressure of, like, Liv or other girls and boundaries
34:07and all this shizer.
34:09Oh, I didn't know he's back on the Deutsche.
34:12So now, I'm going to go in there and just be myself.
34:15Hopefully, we'll have some fun.
34:17I'm still not going to kiss her because I told myself I ain't going to do that no more.
34:20You've just got to start listening to yourself now.
34:23Have I kissed every single girl that I've tried to?
34:25Um, I think I've lost count.
34:28That's outrageous.
34:30This is my second date with Louis.
34:31I'm really excited because at the brunch, I got a really good vibe from him.
34:35But I feel a little uneasy.
34:36If Louis is serious about me, I want him to make it known today that it's just me and only me.
34:42I'm just wanting an answer.
34:43She sounds like she means business, Lulu.
34:48Hello.
34:49Hello, hello.
34:50How are you doing?
34:50You OK? I'm good, thank you. How are you?
34:52I'm good, I'm good.
34:53You look nice.
34:54Appreciate it. You look great too.
34:56You've bowled before, have you?
34:57No vibe, yeah.
34:59Nah, I've never bowled.
35:00See you shit.
35:02I wouldn't say shit.
35:03Nah, he's lying, Harriet.
35:04He strikes me as a man who knows his way around the lanes.
35:08OK, maybe not.
35:10All right, let me see it then.
35:12You've got a little curl on that.
35:15You all right, Lulu?
35:19There we go.
35:20She does it when it matters.
35:21Harriet is smashing me at bowling, but when you look that good, I don't mind a bit of competition.
35:31No, you're ready to get me.
35:33Just give it a try.
35:37See?
35:38Let's go get a drink instead of it.
35:43Yeah, let's go.
35:44Yeah, I think she's embarrassed you enough.
35:46Time for you to do it for a bit.
35:48Name another sport you think you'd be at.
35:50I can do any sport, like rounders, cricket, basketball.
35:53What about tennis?
35:54Tennis, I'm good.
35:56Tennis, yeah, yeah.
35:56Like gymnastics, I can do that.
35:58Yeah, you've done the splits.
35:59Yeah.
36:00Have you got any other tricks?
36:02Can you put your legs behind your head?
36:04Well, like, now?
36:05Don't tempt him, Harriet.
36:06Probably not now, no.
36:11Probably don't do that now.
36:12Oh, no.
36:13No.
36:14I think that's more like, uh...
36:16Later.
36:17Later?
36:18Yeah, there's a nine-year-old's birthday party starting on the next lane.
36:21Might put them off their nuggets.
36:28I just want to break the rules.
36:33Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating,
36:35where Louis is trying to strike it lucky on his bowling date with Harriet.
36:39Do you know what?
36:40I try and keep it, like, PG when I chat to you.
36:43PG?
36:44I'm not sure you'd get Woody asking Bo Peet to stick her legs behind her head.
36:47But okay.
36:48Yeah, why?
36:49I feel like I don't want to overstep no boundary because I feel like I'm being a good man, isn't it?
36:56So, are you thinking up here?
36:58Yeah.
36:58Good.
36:59That's good.
37:00I'm thinking with this head and not that head.
37:02Uh-huh.
37:03That's good.
37:04That head comes near.
37:05Is that natural, though?
37:05Like, is that what you want to do?
37:07Like, do you...
37:08I want to think this head instead of this head.
37:09This head gets me in more trouble than this head.
37:11Well, yeah.
37:12Yeah.
37:13I'd rather...
37:15Yeah, that's good, though.
37:15...look into this one.
37:17Because this has got a lot to give, actually.
37:19More than...
37:20More is crazy because he's got a lot to give, too.
37:23Probably, like, equal amounts.
37:25Just don't put the heads together, Louis.
37:27You don't want to be a dickhead.
37:28God!
37:29While Louis brings the flirt on his date,
37:36let's check in to see if Mark is still feeling the heat
37:39on his 50-an.
37:42Spicy, but lovely.
37:43Very spicy, but I'm enjoying it.
37:45He is spicy.
37:46Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
37:47Oh, someone's gone a bit heavy on the lime pickle.
37:50Ha-ha-ha-ha.
37:54He ain't got no water.
37:56Oh, ha-ha.
37:56I am struggling here.
37:57He is spicy, yeah.
37:59I find taking a swig from an empty glass always helps.
38:02I thought this guy was supposed to be a genius.
38:04So, when you went to the agency...
38:06Yeah.
38:07..what did you ask for?
38:09Tall and intelligent.
38:11No, I ain't intelligent.
38:13And you aren't tall either,
38:14but at least you aren't drinking out of an empty glass.
38:17Just because I said that's what I'd like,
38:19ultimately, you'd go, give it a try.
38:22So, all these little things, when I'm on a date with you,
38:25I'm watching and learning,
38:28and I'm thinking the type of man I want to be with.
38:31That's very kind of you.
38:34Must say, I felt quite protected by you.
38:39I think that comes instinctively.
38:41Maybe that is something old-fashioned about me.
38:44Yeah.
38:44We've got three dates now and absolutely no red flags for you
38:49and quite a few green flags or whatever, so, yippee.
38:53While those two take it slow,
38:56back on Louie's date with Harriet, things are speeding up.
38:59How do you feel about, like, going forward?
39:04Like, are you ready for, like, a long-term thing?
39:08I think I'm over being single,
39:12whether that means with someone or without someone.
39:14Yeah.
39:14That, I don't know.
39:15You kind of have to be on your own to be single, mate.
39:18I'm fine right now on my own,
39:20but I'm probably better with someone.
39:23OK.
39:23Like, I definitely ain't casually dating like I used to.
39:26The chat's getting quite heavy, but, you know what, I don't mind it.
39:29Harriet's putting me on the spot a bit,
39:31but I'm going to explain what my values are
39:33and hopefully she feels the same.
39:35My whole mindset has shifted
39:37to a different responsibility and value.
39:40Yeah.
39:40I've stabled myself into knowing my route clearer
39:43and not only am I going to walk that path,
39:45but I'm going to make a motorway to my goals.
39:48Why is he talking about motorways?
39:51It's four lanes, you know.
39:52Yeah.
39:52Actually, fuck it.
39:53Add another one.
39:54Make it five lanes.
39:55Add a hard shoulder as well, you sexy bastard.
39:59So I'm, like, I'm so focused on that.
40:02Yeah.
40:03That fifth lane might be a beautiful lane, yeah?
40:07I mean, I've seen better metaphors
40:08written in the toilets of Pease Pottage Services.
40:11So while Louis dreams of pulling into Harriet's service station
40:14or whatever they're banging on about,
40:16Mark is starting to go up the gears on his date with Deanne.
40:19The agents, they've given me all kinds of homework to do with you
40:22and I'm going...
40:24Homework?
40:25Like what?
40:26Right, I think it's time we get a little bit deeper
40:28and find out exactly where each of us think this is going.
40:31They want me to ask, like, what are your intentions?
40:34And I'm going, are you my dad?
40:35But ultimately, my feeling is
40:39other people can have their standards, that's fine by them.
40:42As long as I'm happy with my standards
40:44and you're happy with your standards
40:45and you're happy with my standards, that's all that matters.
40:48Standard.
40:49It's like, do you get on?
40:52But it's your personality that you're left with.
40:55You put us two together, you would see,
40:58it ain't going to work.
41:00I am in the right sense of the word quite slow
41:03and what I mean by that is...
41:04You're shit at drinking water?
41:06I don't jump in.
41:08I almost stop and think and go,
41:11let's not rush and say anything I might regret
41:15or do anything I might regret.
41:17So the important question is...
41:19..assuming you'd like another date...
41:23..would you like to go to the gala?
41:28Yes, I would.
41:33Yes, Beastie!
41:34A bit round the houses, but we got there eventually.
41:36Sip, sip, drink, drink.
41:38Good work.
41:38I'm delighted.
41:40Deanne's great fun to be around
41:41and I'm looking forward to taking her to the gala.
41:44Well, she must like me.
41:45Logic dictates you don't go on a fourth date
41:47without really liking someone.
41:49However, romance and logic rarely mix.
41:52Just like me and regular-sized condoms,
41:54but sometimes you've got to try and squeeze it in.
41:56Come on, Beastie boy.
41:58Shall we go?
41:59Let's go.
42:01Mark is ticking the boxes.
42:04He's a real gentleman
42:05and every single date that I've been on,
42:09that's come across quite clearly.
42:12I think there's a romantic spark coming,
42:17but time will tell.
42:19It's been great fun.
42:21And I'll see you next week.
42:23It will.
42:25Wonderful evening.
42:27Well...
42:28Double cheek kiss.
42:31Slow down, Casadova.
42:32We had a lot of fun.
42:33We had a good chat about important things
42:36and not-so-important things.
42:37We're certainly getting a closer attachment
42:40and it's really nice.
42:42Deanna likes me.
42:43That's the only thing that matters.
42:47Well, one successful date done.
42:49Let's see how our metaphor man, Louis,
42:51is getting on with his date, Harriet.
42:52A king always needs a queen to build his empire.
42:56That's what Henry VIII thought.
42:57Look at the mess he got into.
42:58Divorce, beheaded, survived.
42:59Divorce, beheaded, died.
43:00I feel like you're ready for someone to enjoy life with.
43:04Are you open to that or not?
43:05It depends.
43:06Are you willing to work on it?
43:09I kind of go with it.
43:10Like, whatever will be, will be.
43:11And if it works, I'm going with it until whatever happens.
43:15I've really enjoyed this date with Harriet.
43:18She's great vibes.
43:19She's facey.
43:20I can actually see something going on it.
43:22I think I only want to date you from now on.
43:25I don't think I need to go on another date with someone else.
43:30That doesn't mean that, like, oh, we're exclusive
43:32and it's just me and you.
43:33No, it's just I don't want to date no one else, innit?
43:36Yeah, good.
43:37I'm glad because feelings mutual.
43:40I love being around you.
43:41I love your company.
43:43Like, I love being around you.
43:45Don't mention love, Harriet.
43:46Quick, whack your feet behind your head to distract him.
43:48I'm going to need you to sit here, I think.
43:51I'm going to sit there.
43:53See, look at this.
43:55Oh, service.
43:56Look at that.
43:57Oh, you're a bit more down, though.
43:58Yeah, I'm a bit smart.
43:59I feel like I need to be close enough.
44:01Yeah, shove over.
44:02He can't see the bowling of you in the way.
44:04I'm serious about not seeing no one else.
44:06And when I say I just want to see you, I mean it, innit?
44:10Aw.
44:11OK.
44:11Good to see you.
44:18He's listening to the whole no-kissing advice he gave himself.
44:27Come on, man.
44:28What a lovely day.
44:31It was so nice.
44:31Really nice day.
44:32Yeah, really nice.
44:33That was definitely my best day at the agency.
44:35For the fifth time, that's pretty good going.
44:37Yeah, me and Harriet just get on, man.
44:39She's a beautiful girl.
44:40We have good vibes, good energy.
44:41The kiss was worth the wait, I think.
44:44I think the agents will be proud.
44:45I'm proud of myself.
44:46Aw, he's all grown up, isn't he?
44:48I'm excited.
44:49Louis made it clear that he only wants to date me.
44:52I'm like a little child.
44:53I don't want to be like, get it, but it was good.
44:56Hopefully I'll see you soon.
44:58I'll figure you out.
44:59Yeah.
45:02Inside, I really wanted to scream, like...
45:04Oh, come on, you could do better than that.
45:08That's the one.
45:09I miss.
45:11Miss you.
45:13Turns out all you need to do to win Louis over
45:15is awkwardly tuck your shirt into your bra.
45:17Strange world.
45:18Obviously, it's still early doors.
45:20I don't know where it's going to go or how it's going to be,
45:22but she's facey, got a nice body, good personality.
45:25She's fun to talk to.
45:27She's got that perfect...
45:28Go on.
45:30Balance.
45:31Oh, very mature of you.
45:32I thought he was going to say arse.
45:34Cheers.
45:35Tomorrow night!
45:36What's your love language?
45:38That is rude.
45:42It's S Club Heaven for S Club John.
45:44I've met someone who is actually like me,
45:47and I wouldn't change over the world.
45:49Liv serves up some humble pie.
45:51Anything else you're allergic to, or...?
45:53Men.
45:55And Sam takes a pie right to the face.
45:59I don't want to do this anymore.
46:01I'm going to go.
46:03As our celebs...
46:05Go!
46:06I feel good about everything.
46:08Dating!
46:09A beacon of why this agency is the best in the world.
46:12...
46:26...
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