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LearningTranscript
00:00Some people fly from Malaysia to where I am to ask to get married.
00:06That's it.
00:12Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of GMW Specials
00:16di mana di setiap episode kita akan bawakan seorang yang sangat istimewa.
00:20Hari ini kita berada di luar dekat location yang agak special juga iaitu restoran Henning.
00:25Dan hari ini kita bersama seorang yang gemar berkongsi inspiring story dia di social media
00:30mengenai perjalanan hidup dia dan perubahan dia yang sangat-sangat penting
00:35apabila dia memeluk agama Islam.
00:38That's right guys. Please help me give a warm welcome to Ms. Norea Estepal.
00:45Hello.
00:46Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
00:48Waalaikumsalam.
00:49Welcome, welcome to the show.
00:51Thank you so much for inviting me.
00:53How are you feeling?
00:54Alhamdulillah.
00:54You landed in Malaysia today.
00:57Yes.
00:57You must be tired.
00:59Not really.
00:59You got this.
01:00Okay, so I know it's very exciting for Malaysia to have you back but also for you to be back
01:05in Malaysia.
01:06Yes.
01:06This is the country you reverted in, right?
01:10Actually, not really.
01:12Oh.
01:12But Malaysia is a country I started to practice Islam.
01:18Ah, very, very interesting.
01:21Okay, so a lot has changed in your life over the past couple of years and I know you've
01:26told this story so many times before but one more for maybe our audience who have not heard
01:30it before.
01:30How did you find Islam and what made you decide that you wanted to revert?
01:35So how I found is, actually, exactly, not exactly but last year, September, I came to Malaysia.
01:46And then around that time, I met so many Muslim people and also like I had great friends but
01:56I never had a close Muslim friend and then now that I have, I wanted to understand them
02:03more deeply and to become a better friend.
02:06So to become a better friend, I wanted to know what they believe and that's why I started
02:13to practice Islam because I never know how they feel like to pray five times or like cover
02:20themselves or, you know, read Quran because actually, I'm from Catholic school, five years.
02:27Okay.
02:28And then my family is a Buddhist so I had the knowledge of Buddhism and Christianity but I never
02:37learned about Islam so, okay, I was like, okay, now I have friends and I want to understand them
02:43and it's a great time and great opportunity to know something because why not?
02:49And then last year, September, I started to practice and Alhamdulillah, I'm Muslim now.
02:55Hi everybody, Assalamualaikum, this is day two of KL, where I am.
03:03This is Masjid Sri Seneyam.
03:06That's amazing.
03:07Yeah.
03:08Yeah.
03:08And it all started because you were inspired by your friend.
03:11Yeah.
03:11Yeah.
03:12And I love that Muslim people are very like their hospitality is
03:19in a different level.
03:21Yeah.
03:21Like, oh, have you eaten yet?
03:23Oh, did you drink?
03:24Oh, where do you want to go?
03:26Do you have this?
03:27Do you have that?
03:28And, oh, do you want to come to my house?
03:30They are so welcoming.
03:32And then that part I didn't know about.
03:35I was like, oh, you know what?
03:36I never had negative view towards Islam in my life, but I didn't also know that they are so welcoming.
03:46I think I'm so privileged to live in Malaysia where everybody knows about Islam, right?
03:53Regardless of whether you are Muslim or not, we're exposed to so many Muslim people.
03:57We know so much about it.
03:58But I think in the world, there is a lot of misinterpretations or misunderstandings
04:03about the religion in countries, especially where there's not so many Muslim people.
04:07Yeah.
04:07Right.
04:07And I'm so happy that you found something that really resonated with you.
04:11You changed your name to Nurea Stigbal, which is a beautiful name.
04:15I love the name Noor.
04:16I think it's so beautiful.
04:18I wanted to ask, like, did you choose your own name?
04:21Did someone you love give it to you?
04:23So when the people ask me, they're like, they are waiting to hear some inspiring,
04:30you know, meaning for my name.
04:33I'm like, actually, ChatGVP.
04:38Not ChatGVP?
04:39Yeah, ChatGVP.
04:40Wow.
04:40And like, I wanted to have something meaningful.
04:43It is meaningful, actually.
04:44It is meaningful for me.
04:46Yeah.
04:46But well, Stigbal means new beginning.
04:50Yeah.
04:50Like new opening.
04:51So it's, I thought it's a good name to have for my new chapter of my life.
04:57So it's Stigbal.
04:59And I was like, I wanted something Nurea, but I didn't know what.
05:03Because there are so many Nurea.
05:05So I was like, okay, is there, I asked ChatGVP, like, is there something unique that Nurea something?
05:12And then they say, oh, how about Nureai?
05:15Yeah.
05:15I was like, ah, okay.
05:16Oh, is it Nureai?
05:17Have I been?
05:18Ah, Nureai.
05:18Ah, Nureai.
05:19Okay.
05:20It's still beautiful.
05:21I think you chose very well.
05:22ChatGVP did a good job.
05:24Okay, so I think, um, for you specifically, what's interesting is the fact that you had
05:30already gained so much popularity before you reverted.
05:34And so a lot of people think that they know who you are before they meet you, before they talk to
05:38you.
05:39But I wanted to ask you in your own words, how would you describe yourself as Nureai, Stigbal?
05:45Actually, um, people think that I changed.
05:49Like, people think that, oh, how, you know, how can, how can you change your life 180 degree?
05:58But to me, I didn't change so much.
06:01People have the perspective of me that I was just showing, but it's just a screen,
06:10just an Instagram that I was posting.
06:12So actually, I was, I didn't even like alcohol.
06:16I was, if you ask my friend, they all know that I don't drink so much.
06:21I was just drinking for the cheers, yeah, social occasion.
06:25And also, I never go to party.
06:29I sleep so early.
06:31I wake up early.
06:33And I read a lot of books.
06:35It's actually my lifestyle was like Muslim without praying or without, uh, with pork, actually.
06:45Yeah.
06:45So I was like, people think that, you know, oh, Nureai is a new, like, Ray, new, you are new person.
06:53But for me, I didn't feel like it's new, but it's just that I feel like I am upgrading my life
07:00towards something better. It's not a 180 degree change.
07:16It's such a special moment for me.
07:18What was the reaction of like the people in your life, your friends, your family,
07:22when you told them that you wanted to revert?
07:24My friends are okay. They're like, yeah, if you feel happy or hungry or why not?
07:30And my parents also, I mean, it's, it was surprising.
07:37I didn't tell them before.
07:39I told them after, like, oh, I'm Muslim now.
07:43And they're like, oh, okay.
07:45Oh, um, my mom still have some questions about why you cannot eat pork.
07:53Why you have to cover?
07:54Why are you doing Ramadan?
07:57She is questioning a lot, but it's not like she is, like, rejecting my decision.
08:04They are okay.
08:06My dad is like, okay.
08:08My mom is okay.
08:09Have questions, but okay.
08:11That's good.
08:12I think curiosity is like a good place, actually, because from there they can learn more
08:18about why you made this decision and understand you better when they ask the questions, right?
08:23I think, okay, when we talk about reverting into Islam, there are so many different ways
08:28you can, you can go about this, right?
08:29You can do it in stages.
08:31You can do it step by step.
08:32You can do it all in all at once.
08:34And I think that this is a really, really personal choice, right?
08:38Between us and God, right?
08:42And Allah.
08:42That's the only, I agree.
08:44The only way.
08:45Yeah, I agree.
08:46But for you, I think like from what people perceive, it seems like a big change, right?
08:52In terms of the way that you dress, in terms of the name, in terms of the way that you approach
08:58your audience.
08:59I have so many questions about this.
09:00I think it's really interesting the way that you approached it, right?
09:03The first question is why did you choose to share something so personal with your audience?
09:10I didn't want to share actually.
09:11Really?
09:12What happened?
09:13I didn't never said that I took Shahada.
09:17I didn't say that.
09:18But six months I studied and I was like, okay, you know what?
09:24I want to become Muslim and I took Shahada.
09:27So I was already were covering a lot of times.
09:32But after Shahada, I covered almost like 95% of the all the time.
09:39So when I am covering, it's not like men, you know, you don't see.
09:44So you don't see.
09:45Yeah, I believe and I want to cover and people like, oh,
09:50oh, she converted, she converted.
09:54But I didn't say I it was a personal journey and I didn't want people to know so much.
10:02I didn't want like, hey, I'm Muslim now.
10:05Look at me.
10:06I did really didn't want it.
10:07But a lot of Muslim like Islamic media like published without my permission.
10:15And it was out.
10:21And then I just couldn't say it's, hey, don't do it because it's already there.
10:27I'm so sorry, right?
10:29But it's a woman.
10:31And I understand because I need to cover.
10:33And if I am covering, people notice.
10:36We can't change what's in the past.
10:40But maybe the good thing that has come out of this is at least now you're free
10:44to live your truth publicly, which is always a good thing for you, right?
10:50I think another question that I had about when you decided to make the step into making it
10:55something that everybody knows, right?
10:58Or when it happened to you accidentally,
11:00did you feel that there was automatically like a lot of pressure from your audience,
11:05especially on top of the fact because your specific journey has been so such a big change,
11:12right, that people put even more pressure on you.
11:13They're like, no, no, you have to, you have to be the best, the best Muslim.
11:18And that's, that's a lot for a new Muslim.
11:21Oh, I feel so much pressure.
11:24You know, I am a public figure.
11:26So people knows me.
11:28And then media made me viral, made my conversion viral.
11:34So everywhere I go, people were like, oh, I'm so inspired.
11:39Oh, you are, you know, like you are inspiring so much to wear hijab every day.
11:44I'm like, oh, then that means I have to be perfect.
11:48Oh, like now I'm studying like Arabic.
11:52I'm taking Ikro class.
11:54So like, I saw that you are learning and inspiring me so much.
11:58I'm like, oh, but this week I took a week off.
12:01And I'm like, I cannot say it.
12:03I'm like, everybody tell me, you know, tell me that I am inspiring.
12:08And, you know, you are the best.
12:10You are covering every day.
12:12And that's so good.
12:13I'm like, oh, sometimes it's a big, big pressure.
12:18How, how have people treated you though?
12:20Are they kind?
12:21Are they understanding?
12:23There are every kind of people, you know, yeah, you know, a lot of people are very supportive.
12:31Some not, some against, but that's life.
12:38Another question that I had for you, and this is more to do with your career,
12:49especially when you were deciding to revert, right?
12:52I don't want to ask about your career because I think that, you know, we all are allowed
12:56to change in life and make different decisions.
12:58But what I did want to ask is about how you approached that as a revert,
13:04knowing that you could not like whatever career you had built in the past is not something
13:09you can actually do anymore, right?
13:10Yeah.
13:11So, so now you have to re strategize your entire life.
13:14This is a huge change for you, right?
13:17Including what you want to do for work and how are you going to survive
13:20and how are you going to financially support yourself?
13:22And all of these questions that come along with it.
13:24How did you handle that?
13:26Actually, I was thinking to retire for a long time, like two, three years.
13:30I was thinking, so it was not like, what should I do?
13:34I was like, oh, it's actually, it's a good chance that I can quit like this, just like this.
13:40So it was not a big decision because I was already considering.
13:44People think that I am an actress, like adult actress, but I had a different income already.
13:50So it's not like only, you know, like, so depending on this, I already had.
13:57And then also my family had their family business.
14:00So for me, it's okay if I don't do it, but people like, oh, what should I do?
14:05I'm like, yeah, but I already have, but I just don't see it.
14:09Because why should I say about, talk about my family on social media?
14:13I don't need to, right?
14:14Right.
14:15Yeah.
14:15But people don't know and which is okay.
14:18So that does answer a lot.
14:20Because I was just thinking like, this is kind of a really brave decision for you,
14:26especially the fact that you are so public about it.
14:29And there's so much attention on you and so much pressure on you.
14:32And of course, so much judgment, I think attached to you,
14:35especially because of the changes that you made in life.
14:38And as somebody who has gone through something that is like a really big change
14:43and has changed every fundamental aspect of you of all time.
14:46And before we get into like the deeper parts of it, do you have any advice for anyone out there
14:51maybe who wants to make a big change, but is scared of, here are several things that I would be scared of, right?
14:57Losing friends, losing stability, losing everything that you know,
15:01and having to like crash and build it from scratch as a completely new identity.
15:06What's your advice or what's like, what would you say to someone?
15:10Honestly, I don't know.
15:12Like losing friends, if they make a change, like either it's reverting or different thing.
15:22If they don't support their, like your changes, are they your real friends?
15:29Right? True.
15:32Maybe you were calling them a friend, but they were just using you.
15:36Like why my friend has to say something about my reversion.
15:42I don't think that's, yeah, like this is my life and that's my choice.
15:48And religion is very personal.
15:50I am not pushing them.
15:51I don't like to push my view to other people.
15:54If I keep pushing them, they have the right to say, hey, you need to stop or something.
15:59But I never do it.
16:01So my friends are like, okay, you seem happier.
16:05You seem like you have more peaceful life.
16:10That's good.
16:10If they want to change their life or if they want to make some big decision,
16:18maybe just take a small step and see if, oh, how is it not?
16:24How do you feel?
16:25Because not everybody can change direct, like so big.
16:33Yeah.
16:33You know, the liberation of Quran took 23 years.
16:38Yeah.
16:39And people cannot just change in one day to perfect or one way to another or whatever.
16:46So we are allowed to just take a step and see how you feel.
16:51If you're okay, take more steps and stuff.
16:54So don't have to be a big change if they want to make a big change.
16:58Yeah.
16:59Start from small change.
17:00Yeah.
17:00Yeah.
17:01Can I ask you a super personal question?
17:03Yeah.
17:03Right.
17:04And this is, again, it's very personal.
17:06If you don't want to answer it, I totally understand.
17:07Right.
17:08But I think a lot of people who revert, when they find Islam, it's because they're looking for
17:15something inside of themselves, right, that nothing else can heal or fix.
17:22Like a purpose or like understanding of something bigger.
17:26Was that like the situation you were in?
17:29And what was like the most impactful thing in your life that Islam gave you?
17:34Whether that is at the beginning, right?
17:36As someone who was new to it, whether that was community or like a deeper understanding
17:41or a feeling of like complete on the inside.
17:44What was it for you?
17:45I am like, I lived, I, you know, built my career all by myself.
17:51I was not, I did, I never had manager or management team or I was never in the agency.
17:59So I built all my career by myself and I, I was even doing editing or I was even doing like
18:06all the things, tax email, whatever I need to do, even travel by myself, every country.
18:13So I know that I'm a strong woman and I am very independent, but also that made me not
18:22being able to ask for help to other people.
18:26Like I never say like, Hey, I need your help.
18:30Yeah.
18:30I'm like, okay, I can handle it.
18:32I can handle it.
18:33And I actually going to handle it.
18:35That's how I lived.
18:37But of course we are human or like we are independent women and maybe we are strong,
18:45but sometimes we want to be weak so that we cannot be strong.
18:49And at that time I was like, Oh, I'm so tired of being strong.
18:54But once I sit on the prayer, prayer man, I can be weak.
19:00Like I can talk to Allah about my day or, you know, what I am worried about or concerned
19:12or angry about.
19:13And I felt like finally I have somebody who is with me and who can help or listen.
19:21That's a big reason that I became Muslim.
19:26And that was a big impact that I have someone that I feel like I have someone.
19:31And you feel like you're never alone.
19:33Yeah.
19:33Yeah.
19:34In anything that you're facing.
19:35That's really, really powerful.
19:38Um, if I can ask you some questions about public perception now, right?
19:42This is the funny thing about the human sociology, right?
19:47Is that we're constantly judging people by what we see.
19:50Yeah.
19:50And I think it's, it's, um, especially with social media, it's
19:55more and more often we see so many cases of people just like seeing and commenting
20:00things that are maybe not so positive or not so kind.
20:03And they don't think that it hurts you or they don't think that it reads you or you read it.
20:07Right.
20:08Um, but there's also like an aspect of forgiving ourselves for our sins in the past,
20:13which we have all made, right?
20:15Myself included.
20:16This is a no judgment zone at all.
20:18But the difference between somebody like you and maybe somebody else is the fact that we don't
20:25have our sins on display for everyone to see, perhaps, right?
20:29And for you, this is unfortunate.
20:32Yeah, it's unfortunate.
20:34It is.
20:34Because whatever sins that we've all made, nobody can judge whose is worse or what.
20:39And there's no comparing.
20:40But not everybody knows what it's like to have to deal with that going to be there for
20:46the rest of your life.
20:48Yeah.
20:49Right?
20:49It is very hard.
20:53And sometimes I question, um, about this and I still don't have an answer.
20:59Because I don't know the reason why like Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, he allowed me to do this.
21:07Oh, like not allowing, but he didn't stop me.
21:11Like, I mean, of course, Allah is the only perfect thing in this life.
21:17And we are made to make sins.
21:20We are imperfect, but that is too far.
21:25Not what, what I did is too far.
21:27And he, he could, I'm like, Allah, why you didn't stop me a little bit before, you know,
21:36before I created all these things.
21:42I still, I'm still questioning.
21:44Yeah.
21:44Yeah.
21:46Yeah, I understand.
21:48I'm in no position to judge you, but maybe I can share with you something that somebody told
21:53me a long time ago.
21:54Right.
21:55Is that like, there's a reason we're not born perfect.
21:58Right.
21:58Because our journey is measured by the distance we travel.
22:04Yeah.
22:05If we're all born at our destination, we learn nothing.
22:08Yeah.
22:08Right.
22:09And so you've traveled so far more than other people out there.
22:14That I think personally, right, from what I see in you, I think that's really, that's strong.
22:19Right.
22:19And I don't know if anyone else in your position can do how much you've done.
22:24Alhamdulillah, he made it easy for me and I'm still going strong.
22:30I know that at some point, maybe my Iman can get weaker.
22:38But I know that he will be there to help me make it stronger.
22:42It's seriously a bit questioning about this, but still, I am happy that I had a chance
22:50to make myself better.
22:51I feel peaceful more than ever in my life.
22:58Do you face a lot of like, does anyone, I know because I watched some of your podcasts before
23:04because I wanted to learn as much about you as I could.
23:07And I know that sometimes it really irritates you when people ask you really insensitive
23:11questions about your past. And I can understand that, right?
23:14Because I would hate that too, if I was in your position.
23:16How do you like deal with this on a day to day basis?
23:20On podcast, I will answer because it's on camera.
23:25And then I'm like, is sometimes I'm like, is it necessary for you to ask this question?
23:30And if they say yes, okay, well, if you think that is necessary, let me answer that.
23:37But in reality, sometimes it's okay.
23:40If they are actually like just purely curious about it, sure.
23:46But if it's with that intention, I would just say, I don't think it's nice to talk about it.
23:52And I cannot use, I cannot describe beautifully for you because of my anger.
24:01I will stay silent. I don't want to be angry at you or be annoyed or anything.
24:08So I let me stay silent so that I will, I won't be bothered.
24:13And that's the best way you can handle it.
24:15So really, I watched you handle it several times in interviews.
24:18I'm like, this girl is graceful. Yeah. I'm like, okay. Yeah.
24:23Find the strength. Let me find my peace.
24:26And then now I am loving this new life.
24:30I feel very happy, lucky and appreciated that Allah planned everything for me.
24:36And I had the best experience in my life.
24:40Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and answering these like really deep questions,
24:46even though we've just met for the first time.
24:49Wanted to ask you a bit about like the past however many months of your life,
24:54ever since September and October-ish of last year when you reverted, right?
24:59How has your, especially when it comes to social media,
25:01how has your approach to social media changed?
25:05It's more like it's less. I use less. Yeah.
25:09Because I want, I don't want to show my private life to public.
25:16I post what's public, you know, public activity.
25:20Sometimes, okay, I show my private, but I'll show so much less because I want to keep it private.
25:26Yeah. So that people won't be interfering in my personal space.
25:33But I don't know, like, this is new.
25:37I keep losing followers. I'm like, I don't know what to do.
25:41It's okay to lose followers because it's not that I am using it for something.
25:47Mm-hmm.
25:48But it's just very interesting to see how the world is towards Muslim and how the world approach
25:59to Islamic public figure. Yeah. It's very interesting.
26:04Has it changed a lot? Like how people used to receive you in person when they meet you for the
26:09first time compared to now, just because of religion and the way you present yourself?
26:14Maybe not so much because actually people think that, oh, she must be wearing so sexy.
26:21But actually I was not. Oh.
26:23On my day off, I'm like buggy, super buggy pants and like hoodie or something.
26:30Right.
26:31So actually that's very Islamic. I just put hijab to what I was wearing.
26:36Mm-hmm.
26:37So, yeah.
26:39So for you, it's not, it's not so different.
26:41Of course I was wearing dress or something, but it's for picture. I'm like, oh, I want to,
26:46I go to this restaurant and I, oh, maybe I should post something. So let's wear this.
26:52Yeah.
26:52Take picture and then I'm put like jacket.
26:55Right.
26:56Yeah.
26:56Interesting.
26:57So how people treat me didn't change so much, but I get so many more marriage proposal.
27:06What?
27:09You mean like in the DMs people are proposed?
27:12Yeah, in the DMs, email. Seriously, my email is crazy. Like marriage proposal,
27:20title of request, something, like what is your mahar?
27:25Or like two days ago, actually some guy was waiting at the park to maybe like ask to become closer.
27:35Like, hey, um, I want to become your husband and something, even at the masjid,
27:42I pray and some people waiting for me and hey, you are so beautiful.
27:46Can I ask your dad's number? I'm like, oh, this is interesting.
27:50I mean, you are so beautiful. That's a fact, but that is very interesting.
27:55Yeah.
27:55Wow. How does that, how does that make you feel when you've gone through like a personal,
28:00like some, this is personal, spiritual for you and then you're getting all of this male attention.
28:06Yeah. I was like, I knew it, like, even though they're Muslim, they're our man. So yeah.
28:13Wow.
28:15Yeah.
28:15I mean, that, that for me is really unexpected to hear.
28:18Oh really?
28:19Yeah, really.
28:19You don't get marriage proposal? You get, right?
28:22Oh, no, no, no, no, genuinely, no, no, no.
28:28Maybe because I think maybe because in Malaysia, like, um, we're more reserved here.
28:35I get some, some crazy ones, but they're not married.
28:37I get from Malaysia people too.
28:40Even some people fly from Malaysia to where I am to ask to get married.
28:49That's, wow.
28:52That's really interesting.
28:54My gosh, do you, okay, you don't have to, okay, I do have a question for you, but you don't have to,
28:59to answer this if you don't want to.
29:00Do you have any plans of, of taking that step anytime in your future?
29:04Uh, marriage?
29:05Yeah.
29:05Not, not to the guys in your DMs, please.
29:07Definitely, hopefully.
29:08It can happen.
29:09Oh, you never know.
29:10Of course, you never know.
29:10It could, it could.
29:11But to somebody who loves you, respects you, cherishes you, and all of the things
29:16that you would want in a husband, right?
29:17Like, is that something that's you would, you would hope for soon?
29:20So, people ask me about a plan for marriage.
29:24Well, everything in my life is planned by Allah's plan with Allah.
29:30Yeah.
29:30So, I cannot say that I have a plan.
29:34If he have a plan, insha'Allah.
29:37Yeah.
29:38Yeah.
29:39But, and hopefully, hopefully.
29:41Yeah.
29:42I mean, that's the best answer you can give, honestly.
29:43Like, what, what answer was I expecting, right?
29:45Like, we don't know.
29:48It would be nice.
29:49Yeah.
29:50If I can create a family, because a family is the smallest Islam, like, Muslim community.
30:00And, without that, we cannot make a big, bigger, like, community.
30:07Yeah.
30:08So, it would be nice if I can create something small and personal.
30:14But, if I don't, I will not have it, ahamrila, that's his plan.
30:20Fair.
30:21That's completely and totally reasonable.
30:23Out of our hands, anyways, right?
30:25Yeah.
30:25Um, okay.
30:26Back to social media for a second.
30:28Other than the guys who have sent you marriage proposals.
30:32What's been, like, maybe the most touching story that somebody out there has shared with you
30:37about how you've inspired them with your journey?
30:40Do you have one that, like, stands out to you in your memory?
30:43On social media.
30:44Yeah.
30:44Or maybe in person that a fan has shared with you.
30:47Or more so about how you inspired them.
30:49I mean, they tell me that I'm inspiring.
30:51Yeah.
30:52I am not trying to inspire them.
30:54Really?
30:54But, that is very interesting because I'm just trying to follow the teaching and that
31:01inspires people without knowing.
31:04That's kind of beautiful.
31:06But that's also pressure.
31:07But that pressure gives me, like, push me to become better.
31:12So, it's, yeah, that's how it works in this community.
31:15Mm-hmm.
31:16Like, we are pushing each other to become better.
31:20That's why in Islam, a community is very important.
31:25Important.
31:26Yeah.
31:27You had said something earlier before we started recording that I thought was a little bit confusing
31:32as well because I think, like, for most people who are either born Muslim or converted and have
31:39had some time, you know, to go through life as a Muslim, people should generally understand
31:45to be gentle to people who convert into Islam and give them time to learn about smaller things
31:51because to even start trying to comprehend something as deep, meaningful and powerful
31:57as the Quran takes time, right?
31:59It takes time for all of us.
32:00It's a lifelong thing that we need to keep learning, right?
32:05And in such, not even a year, not even a year, how has the Muslim community, like, treated you
32:12when it comes to the small things that people perceive?
32:14Like, do you get corrected a lot?
32:17And if so, how does that make you feel?
32:19Um, to be honest, I was, this past few days, I was like, I was almost crushed because I feel like
32:29every action I do, people are trying to correct.
32:33Every action they do, they are trying to, you know, trying to find a timing to say this is haram.
32:40I feel like that for everything.
32:43Like, let's say I'm traveling.
32:45Oh, are you with a guy?
32:48Are you with a maram?
32:49I'm like, ugh.
32:51Like this, you know, like, or let's say I like running.
32:54And if I wear like tight, tighter, it's not like completely tight or showing my skin, but
33:04still it's fit, let's say fitted or slim fit.
33:09They're like, oh, I'm like,
33:16you know what?
33:17I need money to buy all the new clothes and then some stuff.
33:24I just haven't reached it.
33:26And, or maybe I'm just doing a laundry and this day I just wear it.
33:29I'm like, can you, you know, like, I know, but yeah.
33:37It must be really tiring.
33:39Yeah.
33:40You know what?
33:42When you were feeling crushed, right?
33:44Over the past couple of days, which I can understand.
33:47It is tiring to try your best and have people tell you, oh, you're not good enough.
33:51You're not good enough.
33:52You're not good enough.
33:53Right.
33:53What, what do you do to kind of deal with that?
33:56Well, sleep a lot.
33:59Because I think really like sleeping is the most important thing for me because you can
34:05first, when you're sleeping, you don't touch phone.
34:09Yeah.
34:09Touching phone is the most, most toxic thing that you can do to yourself.
34:16To me, well, I mean like to anyone who has a public facing or to actually anyone nowadays
34:20because social media is, everybody uses it.
34:22For me, it's so time consuming and then mentally exhausting.
34:29And it's so addicting and it's not good for me while I'm sleeping.
34:34I can restore my energy and I don't need to see anything.
34:39I don't need to hear anything.
34:41It's the best.
34:42So I'm like, when I'm so tired, I'm like, okay,
34:45I'm going to go for a run to make myself tired, take a shower, sleep.
34:48Then I don't have to deal with it.
34:50Mm-hmm.
34:51Yeah.
35:06Does it ever make you reconsider sharing this aspect of your life with the public?
35:11Like, does it ever, have you ever been really close to being like,
35:14ah, I'm so frustrated.
35:15Let me just delete all of the social media.
35:17I don't want to deal with this ever again.
35:18Have you ever been there?
35:19I am hoping that they'll, I will get a husband
35:25that can support our family so that I don't have to do social media to earn money.
35:32I mean, I do have business as a, like, non-public figure.
35:36Like, my family business, it doesn't, like, not, don't have to do with anything.
35:40But also, I have a, I am a public figure and I can earn money from it.
35:46If I don't have to use my followings to make money, that would be nice.
35:51So, insha'Allah, Allah, please send me somebody so that I can stop my social media.
35:59I understand.
36:00Yeah.
36:00Or maybe we actually hope that you can continue your career,
36:06but with people who are softer and kinder to you online.
36:13But you have Instagram, right?
36:14Yeah, I haven't.
36:15Or like, you have social media.
36:17Yeah.
36:17And never stop blaming you.
36:20And I understand you.
36:22And also, we understand that we cannot please everyone.
36:26But still, it's the price you have to pay, actually.
36:29No, I mean, you're right.
36:30You can't control what other people do.
36:32You can only control yourself and all you can do is just pray, right?
36:36Pray through it and pray that people find their own journey, right?
36:41Actually, it's not even about praying for people to understand you,
36:44because that's out of your control.
36:46You just pray for them, I guess.
36:48What's your favorite thing to share now on social media?
36:51How has that changed?
36:52I know you used to have a YouTube channel.
36:54And you used to share all sorts of fun things and challenges and lifestyle things.
36:58And now, you share a lot about faith and how you found that.
37:03And some of the most powerful messages that you've learned or verses that you enjoy.
37:08What's your favorite thing now in terms of social media when it comes to sharing or
37:12communicating with people there?
37:13Oh, actually, I don't like social media.
37:15Not at all.
37:16Wow.
37:16I have, like, personal, like, not related to
37:20Nura Istikpah, but I never paused.
37:22I was thinking why Allah made choose me to become Muslim.
37:31And I was like, um, maybe it's not a correct answer, but I feel like,
37:37okay, now you have this big following and I became Muslim.
37:41And good or bad, I have attention.
37:46So let's, why not use this attention to something that can be useful?
37:51And it's not like I like sharing my activity.
37:55Like, I don't want to do like, hey, I did this volunteer work.
37:58Hey, I donated to something.
38:00I don't want to say it, but also by using my platform, maybe some project is going to have a
38:09merit.
38:10If I say something about it, maybe they're going to get more donations.
38:14Or if I support some school, right?
38:17For example, for my birthday, I was visiting the school for blind kids, a student.
38:24I saw also the shelter for the kids who need medical help.
38:30So it's not like I want to publish that.
38:32Hey, I'm doing good.
38:33But by doing this, more people can know what I'm doing or people who need help or the project
38:41which needs help.
38:42So maybe I was like, okay, you know what they changed.
38:45He changed me to maybe use this following to something good.
38:49Why not use it if you have it?
38:52And it's already there and you have done a lot.
38:54Your birthday was last month, right?
38:55Yeah.
38:55Yeah, yeah.
38:56I saw.
38:57That's a good way to look at it because it must be also quite challenging for you to have to
39:03do these interviews and be asked and be so vulnerable and allow people to ask you whatever
39:09they want about your life, whether they're kind or not, is out of your control.
39:14And it's good that you found a positive mindset to look at that at, right?
39:19With all the growth that you've done in your life.
39:21And I'm sure there's going to be so much more growth ahead of you and I can't wait to watch.
39:25Yeah.
39:26What are maybe like the five most important lessons in your life that you would like other
39:32people to learn as well?
39:33This is interesting.
39:35I'm not sure if I have five.
39:36It's okay.
39:37It's okay.
39:37As many as you can think of.
39:38Let's talk about it.
39:39Okay.
39:39And first, don't remain silent unless you can speak beautiful because I believe that,
39:49you know, word is coming from you.
39:51So if you are saying something dirty, that means I feel like I have something dirty inside.
39:56So I really try not to swear or use bad word.
40:02Yeah.
40:02And that's one lesson that I always keep in mind.
40:07Don't judge.
40:08Be a witness.
40:09Just say, see, but never judge people because we never know what they're dealing with.
40:15Because that's the case for me.
40:17People judge me, which is okay, but I don't want to be like that.
40:21So yeah, I try not to judge and keep educating.
40:27And it's a big teaching of Islam because Islam is a knowledge-based religion.
40:33It will never stop.
40:35We cannot stop learning Islam because every single day it's a challenge.
40:40There's a challenge and you have to deal with it in Islamic way if you're Muslim.
40:45So how do we do it?
40:47Reading Quran, reading Hadith, learning Sunnah,
40:50and that's how we solve it.
40:52So we have to keep learning.
40:54Maybe these three.
40:55And they're all really good and a good place to start, actually.
40:58Very meaningful things, right?
41:01And I think, you know, something that's so crazy,
41:03people don't talk about this to you, right?
41:05But you studied, was it law and politics?
41:07Yeah, I have a law degree and politics degree.
41:10Okay, let's look to the future for a second, right?
41:13Do you have any plans of pursuing that further?
41:16Because you are a scholar, right?
41:20To become a lawyer, I don't think so.
41:22I chose this study to become a politician, actually.
41:26But I am actually not sure if I can be a politician anymore because of my past.
41:32I wanted to become a politician because I wanted to change the world.
41:36But becoming a politician is not the only way to change the world.
41:40So now I feel like, okay, what I wanted to do is inspire people, maybe.
41:44Now I can do it in a different way.
41:47Honestly, I have been struggling with some personal problems for the past three, four years.
41:53But I feel like this past few months of practicing Islam really, really helped me get over it.
42:01So, obviously not in your control, but what does the future look like for you?
42:05If it's not politics, it's not law.
42:08Actually, I am now considering to start studying again, hopefully in Malaysia.
42:14Really?
42:15Yeah, because I heard that Malaysia has a good international Islamic university.
42:22Yes, we have a lot of support.
42:24Yeah, and I'm like, okay, why not?
42:26So, I started to study English again, like academically, academic English.
42:33Yeah.
42:34So that I can take a test, but let's see.
42:36What do you think you would be studying?
42:38Hopefully, Islamic study or philosophy.
42:42Very good subjects.
42:42Yeah.
42:43Yeah, very good subjects and very suitable, I think,
42:45because they're very closely interlinked as well, right?
42:48Religion, philosophy, beliefs.
42:50Yeah.
42:50Um, that's awesome.
42:53Before we end, I guess I just have one kind of final question for you, right?
42:58Or maybe two, we'll sneak in two, right?
43:00The first being, the most important advice you have ever received in your life,
43:06from who and what was it?
43:08Quran.
43:09Yeah.
43:09I was just going to say, most important part of the Quran that resonated with you.
43:12It's like, it's all, it's a lesson.
43:14Yeah.
43:14And that's from a prophet, if it's been around him.
43:19Yeah.
43:19Okay.
43:20Let's say, this was my second question, actually.
43:22If someone is watching out there and they're curious about Islam,
43:27but they're intimidated because they don't know enough or whatever it may be, right?
43:32What would you say to them as somebody who has found it and embraced it
43:36and has now devoted yourself to your religion, right?
43:39To our religion.
43:40What would be the one thing that you tell them if they're curious about Islam?
43:45Just open your heart and try to learn about it.
43:52Because some people are actually very curious.
43:56Like I was just curious.
43:57But if you don't start trying to know Islam, you will never know.
44:01Or ask Muslim, I am happy to answer.
44:06If you are not Muslim and if you want to ask some question about Islam, I'm happy to answer.
44:12Like you, the audience.
44:14Yeah.
44:15So can they, have you replied people's DMs when they ask you questions about Islam?
44:18I have never got such a question.
44:22Really?
44:22I guess.
44:23I don't know.
44:24Seriously?
44:26If you see my DM, mostly it's, hey, are you married?
44:30Hey, I am a Muslim and I love you for the sake of Allah.
44:34I want to marry you.
44:35But seriously, my DM is like this.
44:38Wow.
44:38That's interesting.
44:39So maybe, okay.
44:41I'll just say a quick thing in language, right?
44:42For those who are watching, maybe we can use DMs, right?
44:49If you guys have any questions to ask about religion,
44:51if she's open to answer them, you can always try.
44:53Yeah.
44:54Actually, I think it would be really interesting if you made content like that, you know?
44:57Yeah.
44:58Yeah, if you made videos, I think it would be really interesting
45:00because it's you that's talking, right?
45:02Well, to answer those questions, you know, I have to study so much more.
45:06Yeah.
45:07Fair enough.
45:08Yeah, I will do that.
45:09It's a journey.
45:10Yeah.
45:10And I can't wait to see you get there and I'm sure you will.
45:12Inshallah.
45:13Okay, before we finish, Nuray, is there anything you want to say
45:16to your Malaysian audience of supporters who've watched this video
45:19right in the center at our main camera?
45:21So, Malaysia is where I started my Islamic journey
45:28and I really appreciate Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala,
45:33for sending me to Malaysia and all the nice-looking people here.
45:39And Malaysia will always be a special place for me and I will keep coming back.
45:46Maybe next Ramadan too.
45:48Ah!
45:49Inshallah.
45:49Inshallah.
45:50That's all for today, guys.
45:51Thank you guys so much for watching.
45:53Thank you guys so much for watching.
45:53Thank you guys so much.
45:59We'll see you guys in the next GMW specials.
46:01Bye!
46:01Thank you guys so much for watching.
46:03Aha!
46:03That was good!
46:16That was good!
46:17Thank you!
46:18blogger like Matt
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