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FunTranscript
00:00We'll be back with your new roommate in no time, my mummified friend.
00:12Sleep tight, Tutankin Sedamun.
00:18To the docks! I want to make sure those muscle-bound goons don't drop anything in our shipment.
00:23Lock it up, Jacobs.
00:24Uh, sure. You got it, Professor.
00:26I can't believe we found another sealed crypt in the vicinity of the pharaoh's tomb.
00:33Ow!
00:37Nope, didn't hear a thing, didn't see a thing, not a thing.
01:03Oh, my God.
01:05I won't be alone.
01:09I'll be right back.
01:11Oh, my God.
01:15I'll be right back.
01:47Oh, no, no. Please, be careful. A 3,000-year-old mummy might be in there.
01:59Even the slightest bump could damage its fragile bones.
02:02Hello, people. This is Rosalie Rivera, live, bringing you the Tomb of the Unknown Pharaoh.
02:08This is so cool, Luxor. We've got a new mummy on the block.
02:12I am sure my king will be quite surprised.
02:15I can't wait to see what's inside.
02:19Me too.
02:20Titanstein, what are you doing here?
02:22I came here to get my stuff.
02:24But doesn't it belong to that other mummy?
02:26There is no other mummy. That's my royal storage room. My things are in there, and I want them now.
02:32What kind of things? You mean treasure stuff?
02:35Important stuff. My muddled boats, my animal figurines, my senate board game.
02:41You know, I used to be a wicked senate player. I was unbeatable.
02:47Then there's my sweet shaky.
02:50You're what?
02:52Nothing. I just want my stuff.
02:54Chill. Your stuff's on its way to the museum. You'll get it all by this afternoon.
02:58You know, Cleo, patience is a virtue.
03:01Which I don't possess!
03:05What's that saccharax doing?
03:08Ah, whatever he wants to do. Remember, he is all that is.
03:12All that is a pain in the...
03:14And so, I guarantee that no one will ever forget this great day.
03:23Hey! I just want to give a shout-out to my mom and everyone at William Dixon Middle School.
03:28Natasha, Jay, Kaya, Hillary.
03:30Oh, hey, look! It's Elvis and a UFO!
03:35Oops. My bad. It's just some chumpified cloud.
03:38Cleo! Excuse me. I'm being interviewed.
03:42That's okay. You're excused.
03:44Luxor, open this container.
03:47Yes, sire. Right away. Then can we return home?
03:50It's really not safe out here for you, your shortness.
03:55Blasphemers! You dare disturb the sacred holdings.
03:59You will suffer the consequences.
04:02I hate suffering the consequences.
04:11Jacobs, see what that is.
04:13Not tomorrow. Now!
04:16No way, man. No job's worth this.
04:32Jacobs, what's going on here?
04:34You people are in grave danger.
04:38Just what we need.
04:39An eccentric crackpot.
04:41Okay, okay. Let's put the tomb back on the boat and get out of here.
04:44Listen to Hassan el-Zabkar.
04:47Do not open this tomb.
04:49You will bring the curse of the pharaohs upon yourselves and the whole world.
04:54Curse? There's a curse?
04:56Curse? All this just keeps getting better.
04:58Yes. I have been researching this for years.
05:02In 1922, archaeologist Howard Carter discovered the tomb of Tutankhamen.
05:07An ancient curse inside the tomb promised that death comes on wings to he who enters the tomb of the pharaoh.
05:15No. That's preposterous. There was no curse inside that tomb.
05:19More than 20 people connected to the tomb's opening died under mysterious circumstances.
05:25Absolutely not. These stories were the creation of an opportunistic reporter who helped spread the rumors of this so-called curse.
05:32Oh, yeah. Works for me.
05:34Wait. Maybe there is something to this.
05:37The public and the critics will eat it up.
05:40It's a great angle.
05:41Professor, you and me. Let's talk.
05:44It is no angle. It is true.
05:48They will pay dearly for this.
05:54I just want my things.
05:57Relax, Tut. They're just taking it back to the museum.
05:59But what about the curse?
06:03There's nothing to fear.
06:04As ruler of everything, I will protect you.
06:07The last time you said that jackal demons from the underworld tried to chew us up.
06:12Yeah, well, stuff happens.
06:17Ignorant fools.
06:18I tried to warn them.
06:20Why do they not listen?
06:27The medallion of Amut.
06:28It is said that in ancient times, one could use this to call for help in time of great need.
06:35Like now.
06:43This is the moment we've all been waiting for.
06:45The tomb of the unknown pharaoh is about to be opened.
06:50Will the curse of the pharaoh be unleashed?
06:52Will mayhem ensue?
06:53Will panic spread?
06:55We can only hope.
06:56Prepare yourself, world, for a peek into the past.
07:02Another tomb.
07:03Another mummy.
07:05Another pharaoh.
07:06No.
07:14No.
07:15You're what?
07:15Ted, no.
07:18Doesn't that boy ever listen?
07:21Only to himself, I'm afraid.
07:23Good, good, untouched.
07:30No thievery.
07:31That's a good sign.
07:32That unspeakable horror will befall us?
07:34Know that the pharaoh lies up ahead, intact and waiting.
07:37Waiting to unleash his deadly curse.
07:40Sire, this is much too dangerous.
07:42I am pharaoh.
07:44I make the Nile rise and fall.
07:46I am the one who fears nothing.
07:48And that's just a few of your problems.
07:52Hmm.
07:53Some of these hieroglyphs are familiar.
07:56Anubis, guardian of the tomb.
07:58Thoth, scribe of the gods.
08:00Amut, the devourer.
08:01Oh, she's fun.
08:03What to say next, Tut?
08:04Well, um, now that's a squiggle and a circle and a few dots and, uh...
08:11Wait a minute.
08:12Tut, shouldn't you know this stuff?
08:14My teachers tended to get banished a lot.
08:17Occupational hazard.
08:19Why doesn't that surprise me?
08:25Tell me, what do you see?
08:28Show me the mummy!
08:30This isn't a burial chamber.
08:32It's a storeroom for King Tutankensetamun's tomb.
08:38Look!
08:39Toys, board games, drums, clappers.
08:42No pharaoh.
08:44No terror.
08:45This is horrible.
08:46A publicity nightmare.
08:48And a ratings disaster.
08:51Oh, look.
08:52A sistrum.
08:54My shaky!
08:57Professor?
08:59Doc?
09:00You okay in there?
09:00Gotta go, Tut.
09:03I am not leaving without my things.
09:05Stay.
09:06And you're undead me, okay?
09:09Here.
09:12Let me know.
09:14Excuse me, I'm coming through.
09:16Gotta go.
09:16Bye-bye, later.
09:17Hey, man.
09:18Wow.
09:21This is no way to treat a pharaoh.
09:23The mummy has arisen.
09:29I was right.
09:30This is the curse that will not die.
09:33Just like the mummy.
09:35Run!
09:37Floyd, outside!
09:39Move it!
09:40Looks like El Zapgar just met his pharaoh.
09:44And he seems to be taking it well.
09:47Come on!
09:47Run!
09:50Run!
09:51The curse of the pharaoh has been unleashed!
09:55Curse?
09:56I am no curse.
09:58How dare you speak to me that way?
10:00The monster will destroy us all!
10:03I command you to stop!
10:05I should toss you into the deepest pits of the underworld
10:15and let the demons chew on your bones!
10:18That's the thanks I get for saving your sorry bandaged butt?
10:21Yes!
10:22You're dismissed!
10:23Whoa!
10:24You want your stuff back, right?
10:25To put it in your vernacular?
10:28Cha!
10:29Then we'll make it happen!
10:32As soon as we ditch the media.
10:34Quick!
10:35Down here!
10:36Mummy watch!
10:37Less than one hour ago,
10:38a 3,000-year-old mummy allegedly came to life.
10:42Several eyewitnesses saw this bloodthirsty monster in the flesh.
10:46No!
10:47Check that!
10:48Decaying flesh!
10:49It was ten feet tall,
10:50with red eyes and claws and fangs.
10:53Whoa!
10:55He was like the very face of death itself!
10:59He attacked me mercilessly,
11:01and he tried to steal my hat.
11:04Professor Bedetti is directly responsible.
11:07Despite countless warnings,
11:08he opened the mummy's tomb
11:09and triggered the curse of the pharaoh.
11:12Do I look pudgy?
11:13They say the camera adds ten pounds.
11:15Oh, Horace, please!
11:17This frivolous story could damage the museum's reputation,
11:20and yours.
11:21All publicity is good,
11:23as long as they spell your name right.
11:26Professor Bedetti!
11:28Azul!
11:28Azul!
11:30It is up to me, Khartoum.
11:32I have seen the evil,
11:34and now I must save the world from it.
11:37Gods of the underworld!
11:40Deliver Amut, the devourer,
11:43unto thee, sir!
11:53Oh, Hamut,
11:55eater of the dead,
11:56devourer of hearts,
11:58I call upon thee to rid the world
12:01of the curse of the pharaoh.
12:04Destroy the mummy.
12:05It shall be done.
12:08Ah, dark, dank, pungent.
12:16This place reminds me of the pits of the underworld.
12:20Yeah, they call it the subway.
12:22Okay, guys,
12:23Rosa and camera boy must be gone by now.
12:29Amut, the devourer!
12:31What's she doing here?
12:33Does she need a reason?
12:34I seek you to dunk and set a moon.
12:38No!
12:40Your friend here needs a breath mint!
12:49I hate when this happens!
12:54Come on, come on!
12:57Come on!
12:59Finally!
13:00Go!
13:00I don't understand, sire.
13:15Why is the devourer after you?
13:17Maybe there is a curse.
13:19No, I just want to get my stuff back.
13:21I have nothing to do with this, Amut.
13:23No way, Tet.
13:25I heard her call your name.
13:26According to ancient Egyptian mythology,
13:30Amut was known to eat the hearts of the dead.
13:32The only dead person around here is you.
13:35It also says here that there is some kind of a test
13:37that has to be passed,
13:38or Amut will get your soul.
13:41You ever hear about this test?
13:42Ah, some of that ancient Egyptian stuff is just made up.
13:46Don't believe everything you read.
13:47I command that we hasten our exit at once!
14:07Back to the museum!
14:09Maybe those hieroglyphs can tell us how to stop this thing!
14:11I like that idea!
14:14Good!
14:14Because if little miss heart-eater gets her chops on Tet,
14:17he's going to be deader than dead!
14:27Amut, the devourer!
14:29Why have you not destroyed the mummy?
14:32Patience!
14:34His heart will be mine.
14:37Yet I need more hearts to satisfy my hunger.
14:40Like yours!
14:42But you only eat the hearts of the dead!
14:45I am not dead!
14:47Yet!
14:49The curse is now on me!
14:52The Pharaoh's curse continues to take its toll.
14:56Moments ago,
14:57a mad crocodile or a crazed hippo,
14:59something with really bad skin,
15:01went on a wild rampage in the subway.
15:04Will the madness ever end?
15:10Okay, the way it works is that when you move on to the afterlife,
15:20like you, Tet,
15:21your heart is weighed against the feather of truth.
15:25Ridiculous!
15:26If you pass the test,
15:28Amut goes poof!
15:29But if your heart's not pure,
15:31Amut has it for lunch.
15:33I was afraid you would see that part.
15:35So you do know about this stuff!
15:38Come on, Tet,
15:38you've got to take the test!
15:40I'm sure you're pure of heart!
15:42Uh,
15:42I'm glad you think so.
15:45You might be annoying and stubborn and spoiled,
15:47but that doesn't mean you're all bad.
15:50Right.
15:50I mean,
15:51you can be demanding,
15:52rude,
15:53stuck-up,
15:53selfish,
15:54obnoxious,
15:54thoughtless.
15:55Are you done?
15:56I'm just getting warmed up.
15:58But, Cleo,
15:58after 3,000 years,
16:00the Pharaoh's heart no longer works.
16:02All mummies have heart scarabs
16:04for protection,
16:05like a spare.
16:06Oh,
16:07right!
16:13Does this guy have a key?
16:14No way!
16:23Amut's gonna turn that guy into fast food!
16:27Enough!
16:29Amut,
16:29I will take the weighing of the heart test
16:32and send you back to the underworld!
16:35Old man,
16:36go!
16:42The mummy has saved my life!
16:44I was wrong!
16:47Perhaps the curse is not a curse at all?
16:52Whoa!
16:57Ted,
16:57you'd better take that test fast!
17:03Here,
17:04play these!
17:04Their noise is said to drive away evil spirits!
17:10No!
17:12Stop these infernal sons!
17:14Otis!
17:16Anubis!
17:17Mahat!
17:18Thoth!
17:19Osiris!
17:21Hear my plea!
17:32Anubis,
17:34let the ceremony begin!
17:36Yes, Osiris.
17:38Mahat,
17:39bring forth the feather of truth.
17:41Oh, my heart, which I had from my mother, do not be hostile to me in the presence of the Keeper of the Balance.
17:56Do not make my name to Stink.
17:58Stink? Did he just make that up?
18:01No, it's really part of the ceremony. Weird, huh?
18:04I have judged Turankin Setamun. He is annoying and stubborn and spoiled.
18:16But his deeds are righteous. For risking his life to save the life of another, his heart has been cleansed.
18:25Thoth, this utterance of yours is true. The Pharaoh's heart is pure.
18:30All right, I passed. I rule.
18:35I'm the king. I'm the king. Oh, yeah. I'm the king.
18:38No, a moot shall not be permitted to have power over the Pharaoh.
18:43You heard the big green man, girlfriend?
18:46Yeah, boss.
18:49No!
18:54Whoa.
18:54Farewell, little Pharaoh. May the gods always be in your heart.
19:05Gotta hand it to you, Tettenstein. You really aced that test.
19:10Naturally, I am annoying and stubborn and spoiled.
19:14I am all that is.
19:16Oh, curse or no curse, we'll just have to check the crypt ourselves.
19:26Chill. I'll think of something.
19:38It's true, man. A living mummy.
19:40Jacobs, stop that thing.
19:42Oh, okay. Right on it.
19:49The curse of the Pharaoh. You're seeing it as it happens. Live. Really, really, really super live.
20:02Surprise?
20:06Cleo? What are you doing?
20:08Uh, helping you get more publicity.
20:10Really?
20:13Really?
20:15Why, that's a great idea.
20:22Yes, folks. A hoax was played on all of us,
20:25causing a citywide panic and nearly destroying the impeccable reputation of this reporter.
20:30Thanks to Professor Horace Bedetti.
20:32My goodness. They misspelled my name again.
20:36I guess you were right, Professor.
20:38Publicity is good.
20:39Happy with your loot, Tettenstein?
20:45Yes, yes, yes, yes.
20:46Oh, my sweet, shaky.
20:48Brings back many memories.
20:50But 3,000 years is a very long time to be away from home.
20:55Yeah, I know what you mean.
20:56But like my mom always says,
20:58home is where the heart is.
21:00Your move.
21:05Wait a second, Tett.
21:07Didn't you say you were a wicked Senate player?
21:09How am I ever going to win?
21:11You're not!
21:13That is the fun of it!
21:14I command you to lose!
21:16Oh, is that so?
21:17Okay, Tett, I'm gonna beat the bandages off you now.
21:21Oh yeah?
21:22Yeah!
21:22Is it your dream?
21:23No, is it your dream?
21:24You don't like it.
21:25Come on, come on, come on, come on.