00:00Somewhere In Between, it's a song that is kind of at the center of this album I've made and
00:05essentially it's actually about my mother passing within that trying to find a center.
00:10The Somewhere In Between, it kind of has a dual meaning for me in the song.
00:14So first meaning is finding a center in the chaos that's happening.
00:18But also I've always kind of been looking at my youth and how that's informed me in life now.
00:25With my mother passing, it's now made me look at the other side of life a lot more.
00:30So, The Somewhere In Between is both of those.
00:40It started off actually with the guitar line.
00:43So the guitar line that's happening, it was something I kept playing and wasn't really sure if it was something I would eventually turn into a song.
00:51And one of my biggest influences are the Smiths, Prefab Sprout.
00:55And I started thinking about those worlds of music and what they mean to me and this idea of England, which is a big theme of this album.
01:04So I leant into it a bit more and that's when I started bringing in the harmonica and the melodica.
01:10When I started writing the lyrics, I knew there was going to be this kind of direct song and I felt musically, I always like to counter that and have it at least a little bit joyful.
01:20And not fully like this kind of heavy thing.
01:24And then it was actually quite easy.
01:25It was quite smooth.
01:26I'm playing every instrument on it.
01:29And then there's drums, which I am playing.
01:33But then there's another layer of more complicated drums played by my friend Dylan.
01:38And then there's back and vocals by Caroline Polachek.
01:41Dylan is such an amazing drummer.
01:43Caroline, we've had a recording relationship for so, so, so long, like 15 years or something.
01:49And I knew she would have ways of hearing the song and adding to it that I couldn't quite get to.
01:56I think we know each other so well now musically that it's quite like safe hands.
02:00I knew it would elevate.
02:08I think a lot about this idea of not just with my mother passing, but with friends that have passed.
02:14And I think maybe this is a universal thing, but you'll speak to people who have lost someone
02:18and they'll talk about all these things that they wish they'd done.
02:21There are regrets or moments that you could have relived or things you could have done differently.
02:26It's like, you're always going to think that.
02:27And so this idea of in the middle of your life, could you have taken some more time?
02:30It's like, there is no more time.
02:32Like the life is the time.
02:33And so that is the thing.
02:35So I kind of wanted to like set the stage for that.
02:38And if it's nothing, like they said, it's somewhere in between.
02:41This middle ground of emotion that you can often feel between grief and joy, you know,
02:46the idea of do you mourn the loss of someone or do you celebrate their life or people clinging
02:52on to their childhood or are they looking towards building some kind of future?
02:58Those dualities interest me.
03:01You know, there's no answer, but it's more just, I'm just kind of looking at these things.
03:05So I surrender to being just a body, tired limbs.
03:10I think something quite beautiful to surrendering to life and surrendering to your loved ones.
03:16After my mum passed, there's always like a calm or as if like the window gets cleaned.
03:21Like suddenly there's a sense of seeing things in a way that is very exact and direct.
03:29I was able to almost be in my body a bit more.
03:32I think I'd always been rushing through things a lot in life.
03:34And in this moment, I was somewhat able to surrender.
03:38And I could feel my body just kind of be and fall and feeling tired.
03:43And it's this thought process of everything is very accessible.
03:46And I think within that, it can create an inability to actually live the life
03:51that you're trying to access.
03:53That's kind of what that is about.
03:55When the world is in your hand, you can't be inside of it.
03:57In a magnitude and wide array of privileged positions.
04:01When I say that, I'm saying quite a big spectrum, specifically Western.
04:05People can kind of do anything or have anything.
04:08And when I say this, I'm not above it.
04:10I'm part of the issue.
04:12I'm ordering coffees, you know what I mean?
04:13Like delivered.
04:15This is like a real thing.
04:16I just wanted to try in a very simple way, in like two lines, to say how it's not really living.
04:21It's ease, but it's not necessarily life.
04:24Light was just for hope and it keeps flickering.
04:28I just want to see again.
04:29I found that if you write very, very literal words about a specific situation,
04:36you can kind of find some universal in it.
04:38And that was even true of me.
04:40Like I wrote literally and I found universal within it.
04:42So I'm thinking about being in a hospital, in a hospital I was really in,
04:47and the light was actually flickering.
04:49In that moment, you're just thinking about wanting a happy, bright outcome.
04:55I'm not spiritual, you know, I'm not really that,
04:58but I'm very, very interested in it and always have been in my life.
05:02You know, I have this thing where I find it quite a beautiful thing.
05:05I started in this last year, seeing how people will hold on to faith and hold on to light
05:13and how that is such a beautiful, hopeful thing.
05:15And it was, I was quite jealous that people had this.
05:19So that light, there's a lot of talking about light and vision and seeing and looking.
05:24And it's talking about kind of all of those things.
05:35Another thing I've realized in the last couple of years is how ill prepared the Western world is
05:41in regards to death and this illusion that I think we walk through life thinking it doesn't exist,
05:48essentially.
05:49I know there are practices in the world that aren't like that.
05:52So it was this thing of being awoken and having to like really face that there's a real life
05:59and I'm lying to myself and a lot of us are lying to ourselves.
06:02The I just want to see again is this idea of like, okay, well,
06:06how can I like almost get my first sight of life again?
06:11I grew up in Essex.
06:14The first instrument I learned was cello.
06:16So that was my first introduction to music.
06:18It was amazing that then it eventually became this root of the album that kind of kept centering
06:24the story along the process.
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