- 6 months ago
Category
š„
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30THE END
00:01:00I am not interested in your problems, Agent Karloff.
00:01:09I am only interested in getting our property back
00:01:11and getting rid of their agent permanently.
00:01:30The END
00:01:40This is Banner.
00:01:44I must meet you.
00:01:47Well, I can finish up here later.
00:01:50Sure.
00:01:51When can we meet?
00:01:52Not tomorrow.
00:01:54I've got a little side trip I've got to take first.
00:01:57The next day, then?
00:01:58I could meet you Thursday night in L.A., though.
00:02:00At the Bonaventure?
00:02:01Yeah, at the Bonaventure.
00:02:02Sure.
00:02:03Okay.
00:02:04All right, Miss Karloff.
00:02:05Eight-ish?
00:02:06Eight-ish it is, then.
00:02:08Okay.
00:02:09Sorry, Ling.
00:02:12Got to go.
00:02:13But maybe we can pick this up another time, huh?
00:02:16Or even another lifetime, darling.
00:02:20Ciao.
00:02:20Bye.
00:02:20Oh, my God.
00:02:51What a waste.
00:02:56Francois, are you coming?
00:02:57Oui, monsieur.
00:02:59At least, monsieur Banner, I got my gun off.
00:03:04God, I love this job.
00:03:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:03:08Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:03:11I'm living on the edge
00:03:31Without a prayer in sight
00:03:34You've got me walking on an edge
00:03:39In the darkest part of night
00:03:44Standing at the end
00:03:47With so much left to learn
00:03:51You know that you're my only friend
00:03:55I've got nowhere left to turn
00:03:59I'm living on the edge
00:04:04Standing all alone
00:04:07I'm walking on an edge
00:04:12With nowhere left to go
00:04:15But one day I'll be free
00:04:19And I'll step down off the ledge
00:04:24Until it's over
00:04:26I'll be living on the edge
00:04:31When I'm alone with you
00:04:40The world becomes so clear
00:04:44But then the moments are so few
00:04:48When I can have you near me
00:04:53So much time to work
00:04:56So little time to play
00:05:00I guess it's just my love in life
00:05:06And a heavy price to pay
00:05:09I'm living on the edge
00:05:14And you're just standing all alone
00:05:17I'm walking on an edge
00:05:22With nowhere left to go
00:05:25And one day I'll be free
00:05:28And I'll step down off the ledge
00:05:33Until it's over
00:05:35Until it's over
00:05:36I'll be living on the edge
00:05:42When it's over
00:05:47Truly over
00:05:50I'll be waiting for you
00:05:56When it's over
00:06:01When it's over
00:06:03Truly over
00:06:06I'll be here
00:06:10With you
00:06:13I'm living on the edge
00:06:26Just standing all alone
00:06:29I'm walking on an edge
00:06:34With nowhere left to go
00:06:37But one day I'll be free
00:06:40And I'll step down off the ledge
00:06:45Until it's over
00:06:47I'll be living on the edge
00:06:52Where the hell is that unreliable son of a bitch?
00:07:04How come you can be on time and he can't?
00:07:06He's here, sir.
00:07:06I saw him in his quarters last night.
00:07:08I'll bet you did.
00:07:09I'll bet you two were through again.
00:07:11Listen, why don't you just give this to him?
00:07:13I'm sick and tired of sitting around waiting for the great Mr. Banner.
00:07:16You called?
00:07:20Well, hi, y'all.
00:07:22What the hell is she doing here?
00:07:25Well, why don't you just think of me as your report card, by the way?
00:07:29No, Mr. E counts on me to protect the special interests of these special operations.
00:07:35You're doing a swell job, Chesley.
00:07:37It's just what I need, a goddamn watchdog.
00:07:43Just keep it up, Python.
00:07:47And you're a dead man.
00:07:49You know, Python, it's really good to see our two agencies working together again.
00:07:58On this mission, Hotshot, you're working for me.
00:08:01Oh, is that a fact, Colonel?
00:08:03As long as I outrank you, it is.
00:08:05Gentlemen, I believe we have a job to do.
00:08:07All right, just run it down, Python.
00:08:12It's pretty cut and dry, Sonny.
00:08:13But if you need me to explain it to you, you've got to go someplace you're not supposed to be to take out a radar installation that's not supposed to exist.
00:08:21And there's one more thing, super spy.
00:08:25I want you to remember that it's because of you I lost my legs in the interest of interagency cooperation.
00:08:33Now, you get the hell out of here before I really get mad.
00:08:37And I want you to check with me every step of the way.
00:08:41And if you need backup, I'm your contact.
00:08:44You understand?
00:08:46Trust me.
00:09:11I want you to check with me every step of the way.
00:09:41Okay, Banner, it looks like the camp is just a half a mile to the east.
00:09:53We might as well take it down.
00:09:56Hey, did you get a good look at that radar unit?
00:09:58Yeah, yeah, there's only a couple of guys around.
00:10:00It looks like a piece of cake.
00:10:02Well, hell, Jake.
00:10:03Let's go get a piece.
00:10:04Oh, please, Banner.
00:10:11Go, buddy.
00:10:36Oh, Jack, I'm giving you your 38, would you?
00:11:05What?
00:11:07Just a little extra protection for me.
00:11:13Daddy Yankee?
00:11:17Buenos dias, senorita.
00:11:21Come on, Banner, let's blow this pop stand.
00:11:23This?
00:11:24I'm sure our comrades will get a bang out of this one.
00:11:27Here, take an end to this, will you?
00:11:35I'm sure our comrades will be coming.
00:11:39Let's go.
00:11:49Let's go.
00:11:52I don't know.
00:12:22I don't know.
00:12:52I don't know.
00:13:22I don't know.
00:13:52I don't know.
00:14:22I don't know.
00:14:52I don't know.
00:14:54The target is in sight, sir.
00:14:56Good lieutenant.
00:14:57What about your friend, Banner?
00:14:59You got him spotted yet?
00:15:02No.
00:15:03No.
00:15:04No sign of him yet.
00:15:05No.
00:15:07No.
00:15:09No.
00:15:10No.
00:15:11No.
00:15:12No.
00:15:15guitar solo
00:15:45Let's take a night, Gracie.
00:16:15Black Panther, Black Panther, what's the status of our man?
00:16:38Banner's made it into the compound where the Cubans are storing that JVQ radar jamming unit.
00:16:47Thank God for small miracles.
00:16:49You were right.
00:16:51It is compact.
00:16:53Maybe even mobile.
00:16:55Could be a very serious threat.
00:16:57The only serious threat out there is that son-of-a-bitch banner.
00:17:03All right, just stick to the script and get the job done.
00:17:07Yes, sir.
00:17:07Whatever it takes.
00:17:08Just this plan.
00:17:09All right, let's go.
00:17:39All right, let's go.
00:18:09All right, let's go.
00:18:19Stephen, holy...
00:18:29Shit.
00:18:40Stratfish, he broke banner, my friend.
00:18:54It's been a long time.
00:18:56Too long.
00:18:57Too bad.
00:18:58Too bad.
00:18:59How big is it going to be short?
00:19:04American pig?
00:19:06What the hell is he to now?
00:19:09Jeez.
00:19:10Lieutenant.
00:19:11Yes, sir?
00:19:12Take it there's a problem.
00:19:13Yes.
00:19:14We might need some backup.
00:19:15I figured you as much.
00:19:16What's your position?
00:19:18Banner's coordinates, they're 457.7 latitude, 52.8 longitude.
00:19:26He's got about 30 seconds, sir, to make a splash, or should I say a bang?
00:19:31All right, just get on with it, play it safe, and cover your ass.
00:19:35Get out of there, with or without Banner.
00:19:37Yes, sir.
00:19:38Yes, I know the drill.
00:19:40Jacqueline.
00:19:41Yes.
00:19:41I hope he doesn't forget what he came there for.
00:19:44Yes, I'm sure he'll take the jammy unit out.
00:19:46He can take care of himself, sir.
00:19:48Yeah.
00:19:49If I know him, he'll probably take himself out with it.
00:19:52And don't worry about the backup.
00:19:54It's on its way.
00:19:56Out.
00:20:06Yeah, this is Python.
00:20:08Give me the Pentagon.
00:20:11Ah, I'm surprised that your government can't do better than this.
00:20:15You know, with the budget cuts that our government's doing, I mean, it just makes our job a little harder.
00:20:37Nice, nice.
00:20:38You know, General, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?
00:20:44It's not short.
00:20:46Give me that, General.
00:20:47Stick it where the sun don't shine.
00:20:49Come on, get out of there, Stephen James Banner.
00:21:00Dos vidanya, General.
00:21:02Never since we go.
00:21:04Almost.
00:21:05Armenian.
00:21:07I'm sorry.
00:21:09Mor much.
00:21:10Come on.
00:21:10It's keep what.
00:21:11Move.
00:21:11Move.
00:21:12One, two, three.
00:21:13I'm sorry.
00:21:15Rusia.
00:21:16I'm sorry.
00:21:18von Revelation.
00:21:19Under the Vanessa.
00:21:21Hog.
00:21:21Be on.
00:21:21Come on.
00:21:21I'm sorry.
00:21:22Remove.
00:21:23I've been hungry.
00:21:24I'm sorry.
00:21:25German.
00:21:26Two, three.
00:21:27ē£
.
00:21:27I'm sorry.
00:21:28Excuse me.
00:21:30I'm sorry.
00:21:30Let's go !
00:21:33Am I strong?
00:21:38That's it!
00:22:00Ah!
00:22:14Bura-da, bura-da!
00:22:15Dios mio, Santa Maria!
00:22:30Let's go.
00:23:00I wonder why I am so fired.
00:23:30Code 5, Code 4, come in. Can you read?
00:23:46I'm a little busy right now.
00:23:48I'm sorry. I lost your visual. Can you make it to the plane?
00:23:52Roger. I'm almost there. You better be too, Jack.
00:23:54I lost yourå°¾melons.
00:23:56I lost you, Jack.
00:24:02I lost you.
00:24:04I lost you, Jack.
00:24:06Definition Tonuri.
00:24:07I lost you, Jack.
00:24:09This is Code 5, Code 5, Jacqueline, how are you there? Come in.
00:24:30Tanner, what was that explosion?
00:24:32Is our ticket out of here?
00:24:34The plane? The plane's been hit?
00:24:37All right, listen. I radioed for some backup earlier.
00:24:41There should be a chopper at the rendezvous point.
00:24:43Okay, on my way.
00:24:47You better be there, you son of a bitch.
00:25:07One, three, you're in the street.
00:25:10Roger, very in the street.
00:25:30Go on, Jacqueline. Get the hell out of here.
00:25:34That's an order.
00:25:34You're in the room.
00:25:36You're in the room.
00:25:39Oh my God.
00:25:39You're in the room.
00:25:40I'm out of here.
00:25:50I've done this.
00:25:55You've got a mouth.
00:25:55I may have to do this.
00:25:56I'm not going to hear you.
00:25:58It's too long.
00:25:59Come on, come on.
00:26:14Buddy.
00:26:16Three of the crowd.
00:26:22Oh, Steven.
00:26:24Jack.
00:26:29Bravo, Leader. This is Code 5, Commander. Do you have copy?
00:26:3823, please.
00:26:40All right. The target is permanently disabled.
00:26:43I repeat, permanently disabled.
00:26:46Take your troops to the pre-designated coordinates
00:26:49and destroy the remains of the camp.
00:26:51Do you understand, Bravo, Leader?
00:26:54Good.
00:26:59God damn it, Banner. Nobody touches that camp.
00:27:03Do you copy, Bravo, Leader?
00:27:05Banner, what frequency are you on?
00:27:08Switching to frequency 1.25 X-ray.
00:27:13Charlie Company, Team Leader.
00:27:14Are you in position?
00:27:16Banner, can anybody hear me?
00:27:22I knew he'd do this to me.
00:27:28They're gonna have my ass for this.
00:27:31Good.
00:27:32But remember, this is the 1980s, guys, and not the Bay of Pigs,
00:27:36so just back up Bravo Company with some firepower
00:27:39and get your boys home.
00:27:41Is that understood, Charlie?
00:27:42Yes, sir, Captain. We're moving in now.
00:27:44Good luck, man.
00:27:45Out!
00:27:46Out!
00:28:04Banner!
00:28:16Banner!
00:28:19Knock, knock, knock.
00:28:21Lauren &
00:31:11I was raising hell in Cuba.
00:31:13That's the preliminary report.
00:31:15Let's see.
00:31:17Banner.
00:31:19E-A-N-N-E-R.
00:31:21Steven James.
00:31:27Data is coming up on the screen now.
00:31:29Oh yes.
00:31:31Number three.
00:31:33Age 32.
00:31:35Single.
00:31:36High kill ratio.
00:31:39Very deadly man.
00:31:41This banner character.
00:31:43Sir, I don't understand what's so important about the print of that Christmas film Mr. E got from us.
00:31:49Why did we even want it back?
00:31:51That film's story is not just fictitious Hollywood.
00:31:55There was only one print of that film before we destroyed the negative.
00:32:01But this film documents what one of our agents, the one Mickey Schultz, did last Christmas.
00:32:07And what his potential is for doing more damage this year.
00:32:11That footage is real, comrade.
00:32:13Pardon me, General, but this doesn't seem to be very important from our country's point of view.
00:32:19Just get the film away from the Americans and drop it in the vault at our UN operations.
00:32:26Yes, sir.
00:32:28Ladies and gentlemen,
00:32:55would you please give Mr. E your undivided attention?
00:32:59I believe you all know why you're here.
00:33:03If you would allow me, sir.
00:33:05It took a great deal of effort and interagency cooperation
00:33:10in order to obtain this valuable piece of blackmail.
00:33:15I have personally laid my reputation on the line.
00:33:19Now, if you will, pay close attention to what you're going to see on the screen.
00:33:25The subject had no knowledge that he was being filmed.
00:33:34Suffice it to say, this is confidential.
00:33:38The subject had no knowledge that he was being filmed.
00:33:42Suffice it to say, this is confidential.
00:33:46I trust that nothing would go beyond this room. Agreed?
00:33:50Thank you, Mr. E.
00:33:51Roll film, please.
00:33:53Okay, right away.
00:33:55Okay, right away.
00:34:04Okay, right away.
00:34:05Okay, right away.
00:34:06Okay, right away.
00:34:23What is this, a joke?
00:34:43I assure you, it's not.
00:34:46And if you'll just be patient, Lieutenant,
00:34:49we'll all be able to find out just how critical this is
00:34:52to our national security.
00:34:56And I'm a cop.
00:34:57I carry a badge, a gun, and bullets,
00:35:01and a night's ticket, and handcuffs.
00:35:04And I'm a cop.
00:35:22I'm a cop.
00:35:35And you're a cop.
00:35:44Now, remember, this particular incident happened over 20 years ago.
00:36:09The boy was just about eight years old then, was institutionalized.
00:36:13Presumably, for life.
00:36:17Madame Claus.
00:36:18Oh, you mean subordinate Claus.
00:36:20No.
00:36:37Hey!
00:36:38Mickey, look at that!
00:36:39Mickey, look at that!
00:36:40Mickey, look!
00:36:41Mickey, look!
00:36:42Oh!
00:36:43Oh!
00:36:44Oh!
00:36:59Hmm.
00:37:00That, folks, was almost 20 years ago.
00:37:06You know what?
00:37:07Oh!
00:37:08Oh!
00:37:09Oh!
00:37:10Oh!
00:37:11Oh!
00:37:12Oh!
00:37:13Oh!
00:37:14Oh!
00:37:15Oh!
00:37:16Oh!
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:18Oh!
00:37:19Oh!
00:37:20Oh!
00:37:21Oh!
00:37:22Oh!
00:37:23Oh!
00:37:24Oh!
00:37:25Oh!
00:37:26Oh!
00:37:27Oh!
00:37:28Oh!
00:37:29Oh!
00:37:30Oh!
00:37:31Oh!
00:37:32Oh!
00:37:33Oh!
00:37:34Oh!
00:37:35Oh!
00:37:36Oh!
00:37:37Oh!
00:37:38Oh!
00:37:40Oh!
00:37:41Oh!
00:37:43Oh!
00:37:44Turn on the lights!
00:37:45What's wrong with the film?
00:37:59film today. Put your best man on it. Yes, sir. Consider it done.
00:38:21Stephen, I'm so glad you could make dinner tonight. I must say, it's been a most enlightening
00:38:26for you. Why, thank you, Stephen. And I must say, I was certainly surprised to know you
00:38:33were free tonight. The scuttlebutt around the office is you're working on a very important
00:38:38project. Sure. Maybe, but that's pretty much behind us now. Tell me, Ms. Karloff, how long
00:38:46have you been with our agency? And how did you know about my son? Well, you certainly
00:38:52aren't inquisitive, little devil, aren't you? I almost feel as if you don't trust me, Stephen.
00:38:58No, not at all. This has been a long trip back from Hong Kong, that's all. I'm just a little
00:39:04tired. Excuse me, sir. You have an urgent phone call. God, never is. Banner here. Stephen,
00:39:12I'm glad I found you. How did you? I won't even ask. I suppose it's important, don't I?
00:39:18Mr. E is livid. Someone inside our headquarters snatched a highly secret film that must be
00:39:25recovered. You suspect, of course, a... Yes, a double agent.
00:39:31Uh, right, Lieutenant. I think the answer might be staring me right in the face.
00:39:36What? Never mind. I'll, uh, I'll explain it all later.
00:39:40Okay. Uh, where's the meet? At the submarine base. About one hour.
00:39:44Okay. Sure.
00:39:47Well, it's going to be a deep run, but duty does call.
00:39:52Uh, waiter, can this lovely lady have some coffee?
00:39:55Or perhaps you'd prefer a black Russian.
00:39:58Uh, waiter, can this check? Give me a scotch of water straight up.
00:40:07Certainly, madam. Oh, and this should take care of the goddamn bill.
00:40:11Mr. E is livid. Someone inside our headquarters snatched a highly secret film that must be recovered.
00:40:28All right.
00:40:29All right.
00:40:30All right.
00:40:30All right.
00:40:31All right.
00:40:32All right.
00:40:33All right.
00:40:34All right.
00:40:35All right.
00:40:36All right.
00:40:37All right.
00:40:38All right.
00:40:39All right.
00:40:40Looking for me, Jacqueline?
00:40:51Late as usual, Banner.
00:40:53Well, don't worry.
00:40:56I've brought along some of those gizmos you guys like to play with.
00:41:01Here's your A-48 decoder.
00:41:03It'll get you into the Soviet's computer room at the U.N.
00:41:06We think the film's in the safe by the main terminal room.
00:41:09God, I love these toys.
00:41:14Knock it off.
00:41:15I signed for that.
00:41:16Now, here's their latest printout, cross-referenced to gain access to the main computer.
00:41:21It should open the safe.
00:41:22Hopefully, the film's still in there.
00:41:24It's with this film anyway, Jacqueline.
00:41:27Porno movies, right?
00:41:30Not likely.
00:41:31But Mr. E's bent on getting this back into our hands.
00:41:34Says it could be a real smoking gun for the Kremlin.
00:41:37So they haven't even told you.
00:41:39Rather high security, Jacqueline.
00:41:42Rather high priority, Banner.
00:41:45TouchƩ.
00:41:48Miss Karloff, what is your location?
00:41:56I'm right outside our computer operations building.
00:42:00Steven has already gone in.
00:42:02Steven?
00:42:02Are you two that close?
00:42:05Please, General.
00:42:06If he's as good as his record, he might just bypass security, decode the safe, and get
00:42:16the film back into United States' hands.
00:42:19I agree.
00:42:24I suggest we bring in more manpower, and-
00:42:27Yet, Karloff.
00:42:29I don't want anyone, not even our own people, seeing that film.
00:42:34Homrad, Mickey, that kid in the film, he's now an adult, and one of our agents.
00:42:43He must be protected.
00:42:47I see no purpose in going on with this charade.
00:43:10In truth, he's no agent.
00:43:16He's my grandson, a psychopathic killer, whose identity, if known to the rest, could prove
00:43:23very embarrassing to our government.
00:43:27And definitely, the end of my career.
00:43:30But sir, I thought that-
00:43:32Enough said, comrade.
00:43:34Just recover that film, and deliver it directly to me.
00:43:39Yes, sir.
00:43:40Consider it done.
00:43:41End communication.
00:43:42Goodbye, Karloff.
00:43:46Goodbye, Karloff.
00:43:47Goodbye, Karloff.
00:43:48Goodbye, Karloff.
00:43:49Goodbye, Karloff.
00:43:58And good luck.
00:43:59Goodbye, Karloff.
00:44:11Bye-bye, Karloff.
00:44:16BIRDS CHIRP
00:44:46BIRDS CHIRP
00:45:08Do you want to play a game?
00:45:12Uh, no computer. I do not want to play a game.
00:45:16No. Please enter your security code then.
00:45:37I acknowledge your authority. Let us begin.
00:45:41By all means. I would like to know, computer, where the movie film that was recently deposited here is being kept?
00:45:49The motion picture film is being kept in the master safe in the east part of this room.
00:45:55Good. Computer, just what is on that film that's so damn important?
00:46:03Apparently, one of our Moscow-based generals had a son who is a psychopathic killer.
00:46:12One Christmas Eve, he hacked up his mother and his father.
00:46:15Enough.
00:46:16What the hell?
00:46:17Sir?
00:46:18Uh, nothing computer. Begin sequencing the combination of the airlock safe.
00:46:29The sequencing to open the master safe has been done.
00:46:39Okay.
00:46:40Thank you computer.
00:46:41Only ten seconds now until you will have access to the vault.
00:46:46Continue.
00:46:47Continue.
00:46:50Countdown.
00:46:53Five.
00:46:54Four.
00:46:55Three.
00:46:56Two.
00:46:57And open.
00:46:58Open.
00:46:59Open.
00:47:05You know how to remember this.
00:47:08Two. Uh, good job, oh boy.
00:47:10You said.
00:47:13Damn it.
00:47:14I'm not.
00:47:15Enough.
00:47:16Fuck.
00:47:28Two.
00:47:34I want to.
00:47:39Tell me anything to die.
00:47:43I'm trying to fight.
00:47:55You can't hear me.
00:47:58I see you.
00:48:00You can't hear me.
00:48:02What can you do?
00:48:13You can't hear me.
00:48:43Fight.
00:48:44You turn my rules.
00:48:46We got everything.
00:48:48Fight.
00:48:49Fight.
00:48:50Fight.
00:48:51Fight.
00:48:52You got to kill.
00:48:55You turn my rules.
00:48:59Fight.
00:49:01Fight.
00:49:03Fight.
00:49:09Oh, no.
00:49:11Fight.
00:49:12Fight.
00:49:13Fight.
00:49:15Fight.
00:49:17Fight.
00:49:18Hunt.
00:49:20Fight.
00:49:21Cut.
00:49:22Fight.
00:49:24Oh, my God.
00:49:54We gonna look old, boy.
00:49:59Ah, Mr. E.
00:50:02Good timing.
00:50:03Hit it, driver.
00:50:04Hey, driver.
00:50:23This is Banner.
00:50:24Catch me through the aerial surveillance.
00:50:27Yeah, this is field agent Banner.
00:50:30Get this aerial surveillance on target heading south on 101.
00:50:43Can you get the target in sight?
00:50:46Yeah, it is a motorcycle.
00:50:49Right.
00:50:51Just keep the distance and be ready to fire if necessary.
00:50:55Faster, driver.
00:51:00Answer my questions.
00:51:03Don't take away.
00:51:05Don't take away.
00:51:07That was close.
00:51:09Everybody all right?
00:51:11Oh, my God, that was close.
00:51:25Everybody all right?
00:51:31Oh, we got it, we got it.
00:51:41No, no, hold your fire.
00:51:52I think you're OK.
00:51:55Oh, that's a screamer.
00:52:04I'm good.
00:52:11Let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:52:14Follow him, driver.
00:52:30Well, I'm afraid you've lost this matter.
00:52:36Well, maybe not.
00:52:41You know that film even had to die, you son of a bitch.
00:52:48You cheap son of a bitch.
00:52:50That's what you get for sticking me with a check.
00:52:54Oh.
00:52:55That's so fast, Karloff.
00:52:58Ah!
00:52:59You asshole.
00:53:02Oh.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:07Oh.
00:53:08Oh.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:10Oh.
00:53:11Oh.
00:53:12Oh.
00:53:17Of course, now that the film is gone, we could, uh, say
00:53:20we just did our part for detente, huh?
00:53:22Ciao.
00:53:27But, Banner, I don't know how to land this thing!
00:53:29Oh, damn you!
00:53:31And this thing, I'll stab you!
00:53:37It does have a nice ass, though.
00:53:51Okay.
00:53:54Yes?
00:53:57What?
00:53:59Put it on the screen!
00:54:02How close is our sub?
00:54:09And the Americans?
00:54:12Get our divers in the water!
00:54:15Now! I want that film!
00:54:31I want that film!
00:54:33Permission to come aboard, Corporal?
00:54:35Oh, yes, sir.
00:54:36Yes, sir. Captain Banner.
00:54:38Mr. Corporal, ma'am.
00:54:39Nice of you to drop in like this. I hope you didn't dress up on my account.
00:54:45Well, gee.
00:54:47Lieutenant.
00:54:49I've been running around a lot today.
00:54:51Marshall Sub, close your fence on target, ma'am.
00:54:53Thank you, Corporal.
00:54:54Come on, Steven.
00:54:55Your gear is down in the torpedo room.
00:54:57This way, sir.
00:54:59Captain Lealy Bridge.
00:55:00Dive! Dive!
00:55:01Dive! Dive!
00:55:02I'm Scott.
00:55:03I'm Scott.
00:55:04Jacklyn, just what the hell is going on with this film?
00:55:07I've been going around here like...
00:55:08Steven, I'll explain everything later.
00:55:09The Russians have to be stopped at any cost. Understood?
00:55:10Yes, yes.
00:55:11Captain, understood?
00:55:12Ma'am, yes, ma'am.
00:55:13Sorry, Steven. Just be careful, okay?
00:55:14I'm Scott.
00:55:15I'm Scott.
00:55:16I'm Scott.
00:55:17I'm Scott.
00:55:18I'm Scott.
00:55:19I'm Scott.
00:55:20I'm Scott.
00:55:21I'm Scott.
00:55:22I'm Scott.
00:55:23I'll explain everything later.
00:55:24The Russians have to be stopped at any cost. Understood?
00:55:27Yes, yes.
00:55:28Captain, understood?
00:55:30Ma'am, yes, ma'am.
00:55:33Sorry, Steven. Just be careful, okay?
00:55:36Those guys are acting real serious.
00:55:53I'm Scott.
00:55:54Oh, my God.
00:55:55Would you look at that picture?
00:55:56What year was that taken, anyway?
00:55:58Still hiding your eyes and be kind of whining us, don't you, Steven?
00:56:15Oh, Jaclyn.
00:56:17I didn't know I could trust you, but I'm so angry.
00:56:21Besides, I've always been able to see rights for me anyway.
00:56:25You don't fool me.
00:56:271983.
00:56:29Color.
00:56:30What?
00:56:31Oh, the picture, remember?
00:56:33Operation Carnac, I believe.
00:56:36Oh, yeah.
00:56:38Well, we sure got around, didn't we?
00:56:46How did I ever let myself get involved with you, Stephen?
00:56:49We can get rid of the rules.
00:56:51Oh, rules, rules.
00:56:52No interpersonal relationships between agents, that's...
00:56:56Well, Banner, those are the rules, you know.
00:56:59I know.
00:57:00The agency's rules, Jasmine.
00:57:02Why do you think they call our unit S-O-V?
00:57:05The hell of them?
00:57:06The hell of Mr. E.
00:57:08May I have this?
00:57:10Stephen!
00:57:11Stephen Boucher!
00:57:19The locket looks really nice on you, Stephen.
00:57:24Do you really like it?
00:57:26Of course I do.
00:57:27I love it.
00:57:28It'll be my good luck charm.
00:57:30Kind of like a gold dog tattoo, you know?
00:57:34Oh, that's the thanks I get for...
00:57:36You know what, Jacqueline?
00:57:38I don't know why you always want to pick a fight when I gotta leave.
00:57:41It really pisses me off.
00:57:43Well, I never could compete with all you women, Beth.
00:57:47Hey, there never was a contest.
00:57:50Especially when you were done.
00:57:53Look, Stephen.
00:57:54You are what you are.
00:57:55And it feels like I'm just holding you back.
00:57:58I'm just holding you, Jacqueline.
00:58:00I'm so proud of you, Stephen James Boucher.
00:58:07You're all the kind.
00:58:09And always so strong.
00:58:11Tell that to my heart, Jacqueline.
00:58:14So think if the moment is breaking,
00:58:17be sure you can't come, Jacqueline.
00:58:19What?
00:58:20To New Zealand?
00:58:22I'm afraid not, babe.
00:58:24I sure won't miss you, though.
00:58:26I'll always miss you.
00:58:30Stephen, I can watch you fight and I can watch you win.
00:58:41But I will never watch you die.
00:58:44And that is the reality of you.
00:58:47That sometimes, some place in the world,
00:58:49when you let your guard down,
00:58:51some faces assassinate for you.
00:58:54And I think I'd rather not be there for that scene,
00:58:57if you don't mind, darling.
00:59:00And I'll...
00:59:03And I'll...
00:59:05This is to select air...
00:59:08Supplementation supply switch to air.
00:59:10Supplementation supply switch to air, LCP 1I.
00:59:14That announcement, ship helicoptering mode, missile launch.
00:59:16Black nav weapons, navigation, fire control,
00:59:19transmission set.
00:59:20Completed, started to strike flight.
00:59:22Officeration, select training fire, weapons,
00:59:24you have permission to fire.
00:59:26You have permission to fire, I can.
00:59:27Weapons, Don.
00:59:29You have permission to fire.
00:59:30We have permission to fire.
00:59:32Fire!
00:59:33Fire one.
01:00:00Oh.
01:00:06Oh!
01:00:30Let's go!
01:00:32Oh, I need to get it!
01:00:34Alright, here we go.
01:00:36Oh, wait.
01:00:38Oh, my God.
01:00:40Oh, no.
01:00:41Oh, no!
01:00:42Oh, no!
01:00:44Oh, no!
01:00:46Oh, no!
01:00:47Oh!
01:00:48Oh, no!
01:00:50Oh!
01:00:51Oh, no!
01:00:52Oh!
01:00:53Oh!
01:00:54Oh!
01:00:55Oh...
01:00:56Oh...
01:00:57Oh.
01:00:58Oh!
01:00:59Oh!
01:01:00Oh!
01:01:01Oh!
01:01:02Oh, my God.
01:01:32Ladies and gentlemen, we have a great cost. We covered the film that Mr. E. here so desperately wanted.
01:01:39Why, thank you, Captain Banner.
01:01:41I assure you, sir, your efforts will not go unrecognized.
01:01:45After viewing it, though, sir, I must say that this snuff movie Detective Brody obtained appears at first glance to be nothing more than one of those awful holiday horror movies we see in the theaters.
01:01:56But, of course, as all of us know in this room, the murders are real.
01:02:00Certainly, it does reveal the identity of a very sick little boy, and mainly that the killer is the grandson of one of Russia's most premier generals.
01:02:11A very damaging piece of blackmail.
01:02:13But if you want my opinion, Mr. E., and I'm sure that you do, I think in the spirit of glasnost and the friendship that we're now experiencing between our two countries, you should destroy this little film and put our agency to better use next time.
01:02:27That's enough, Captain.
01:02:29Banner, that's just not your call.
01:02:31All right, well, if you'll excuse me, I do have a plane to catch.
01:02:35Oh, and I hope you're amused at this clever little piece of satire.
01:02:39But think hard about what you're going to do with this film.
01:02:43It was up to me.
01:02:44Quite frankly, I would burn it.
01:02:48Good day, gentlemen, ladies, detective, Mr. E., enjoy.
01:02:54Good day, gentlemen.
01:03:24Just roll the film, Brody.
01:03:48Hi, Janie.
01:03:48You're just in time.
01:03:51Bobby's over here.
01:03:52Look, Bobby, Janie's here.
01:03:55I know.
01:03:56Hi, Bobby.
01:03:56Hi.
01:03:58Gosh, Mrs. Brown, what a beautiful tree.
01:04:00This year looks like Christmas in here.
01:04:02Thanks, Janie.
01:04:03Look, here's 20 bucks for pizza in case you get hungry.
01:04:07That should cover a tip, too.
01:04:09I'll be out real late tonight.
01:04:10And see that he doesn't get into his presents, okay?
01:04:14I know.
01:04:15No problem, Mrs. Brown.
01:04:16Bobby and I will be just fine.
01:04:18Bobby, now don't make a mess.
01:04:20I just had the place cleaned.
01:04:21I know.
01:04:23Ciao, everyone.
01:04:28Bye for the short of the cat.
01:04:29Woo!
01:04:29That's right!
01:04:30I'm sorry!
01:04:32I know, baby.
01:04:35I know, baby.
01:04:40How's that?
01:04:41How's that?
01:04:42I think I got him.
01:04:43I don't know.
01:04:44I don't know.
01:04:44I don't know.
01:04:45It's okay.
01:04:46I want to get him.
01:04:47I want to get him.
01:04:48I want to get him.
01:04:48I want to get him.
01:04:49I want to get him.
01:04:49I want to get him.
01:04:49Relax.
01:04:50Don't get so bent out of shape.
01:04:52I know.
01:04:53I just love him so much.
01:04:54They said that he wasn't even you.
01:04:56Sure.
01:04:56Just when I thought it was safe to come back into this apartment.
01:04:59Yeah, I knew you were going to say this.
01:05:01Sure you did.
01:05:03I had this really freaky dream about this big red moon, and it was just bleeding all over
01:05:08me.
01:05:08It was so corrupt.
01:05:10You know, I get crazy when there's a phone moving.
01:05:13You mean a phone to get crazy?
01:05:14You're nuts anyway.
01:05:15I got it.
01:05:18I got a word that's just going to kill you.
01:05:20Oh, yeah?
01:05:21Yeah.
01:05:21Try it.
01:05:22How do you spell fornicate?
01:05:24Fornicate?
01:05:25That's easy.
01:05:26F?
01:05:27You got that?
01:05:28Yeah.
01:05:28O-U-Q.
01:05:30You got that?
01:05:33But, Tania, let's sleep here.
01:05:36Shh, Bobby.
01:05:37Now you just close your eyes and get some rest.
01:05:40I'll try to get these people out of here as soon as I can.
01:05:43Remember, Santa's coming tonight.
01:05:45I don't know.
01:05:50As strange and amusing as this might appear, keep in mind that every murder you see on
01:05:56this film is real.
01:05:58Rumors have it that a series of so-called snuff films were made using easily manipulated
01:06:04mental patients to commit actual murders.
01:06:08This particular film our experts have documented is absolutely authentic.
01:06:13And more important, the identity of this killer is what is of interest to us.
01:06:21Great interest.
01:06:23Oh, my god.
01:06:33I love you.
01:06:45Huff, huff, huff, huff.
01:06:48Figures.
01:06:51Huff, huff, huff.
01:06:54I think they're saying you're lying.
01:06:57Yes, they're saying you're lying.
01:06:59I don't understand.
01:07:00That is the house.
01:07:01Figures.
01:07:15Who is it?
01:07:38Who is there?
01:07:45Attention all units, this is an all points bulletin for a heavy set man reportedly dressed
01:08:09in a red suit, black boots, white beard, and possibly armed-
01:08:14And eight tiny reindeer.
01:08:16The suspect escaped tonight from Sunnydale Sanitarium.
01:08:20His name is Mickey Schultz, uh, his alias.
01:08:24Get this gag, it's Kris Kringle.
01:08:28So it's back in town now, a real nut.
01:08:33You know what, Anderson?
01:08:35What, Brody?
01:08:37About 20 years ago, he killed his mother and his old man with a butcher knife on Christmas Eve.
01:08:44I never saw so much blood in my life, and I'll never forget it either.
01:08:49Watch it, Brody, a red light.
01:08:52Fuck, um, I'm a cop.
01:08:55Anyway, we went in, and we found the two of them layin' there, cacked up like a side of beef.
01:09:02And that little monster's standin' there with a knife in his hands.
01:09:08My partner, Kelly, he started pukin'.
01:09:11He started pukin' his guts out all over the place.
01:09:14Uh, excuse me, Brody.
01:09:16I think we should acknowledge that A.P.P.
01:09:19Don't worry about it, Anderson.
01:09:21I got my own way of finding this.
01:09:24One look into his dead black eyes, and I'll know him.
01:09:31He's a stone nut.
01:09:32Ever since he saw his mama kissing Santa Claus, he's been crazy ever since.
01:09:37You know what, Anderson?
01:09:39When the doctors examined the kid's head, they found dog shit for brains.
01:09:45Thank you, Detective, for that illuminating and tasteful description of the murder.
01:09:51Shall we proceed?
01:09:54The next brutal murder takes place here.
01:09:56Hey, man. What's goin' on?
01:10:10Shoot, I'll check it.
01:10:13I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:26It's okay.
01:10:28Take your legs.
01:10:29Wonder what's going on.
01:10:31It's okay now.
01:10:32It's okay.
01:10:33So long as he's going on, he's not yet to go.
01:10:35You'd be like, you know what, about that?
01:10:37So long as he's got a fumble.
01:10:38THE END
01:11:08THE END
01:11:38THE END
01:11:40THE END
01:11:44THE END
01:11:46THE END
01:11:50THE END
01:11:52THE END
01:11:56THE END
01:11:58THE END
01:12:00THE END
01:12:02THE END
01:12:04THE END
01:12:06THE END
01:12:08THE END
01:12:10THE END
01:12:14THE END
01:12:16THE END
01:12:18THE END
01:12:20THE END
01:12:22THE END
01:12:24THE END
01:12:26THE END
01:12:30THE END
01:12:32THE END
01:12:34THE END
01:12:36THE END
01:12:38THE END
01:12:40THE END
01:12:42THE END
01:12:44THE END
01:12:46THE END
01:12:50THE END
01:12:52THE END
01:12:54THE END
01:12:56THE END
01:12:58THE END
01:13:00THE END
01:13:02THE END
01:13:04THE END
01:13:06THE END
01:13:08THE END
01:13:10THE END
01:13:12THE END
01:13:14THE END
01:13:16THE END
01:13:18THE END
01:13:20THE END
01:13:22THE END
01:13:24THE END
01:13:26THE END
01:13:28THE END
01:13:30THE END
01:13:32THE END
01:13:34THE END
01:13:36THE END
01:13:38Billy, did you hear that?
01:13:40Oh, it's probably just Sherry. She's a moaner.
01:13:42Yeah, how would you know?
01:13:44Billy, hurry. I think you better go see what's wrong.
01:13:46No way, Jose.
01:13:48Please.
01:13:56I better call the police.
01:14:18Oh, my God. The phone's dead.
01:14:24So am I.
01:14:28I'll just fast forward this to get to the end.
01:14:34THE END
01:14:36THE END
01:14:38Now the point is, is that these murders are real.
01:14:40And the cycle they use to commit them
01:14:42is none other than the grandson of
01:14:46General Alexey Grossoff
01:14:48of the USSR secret police.
01:14:52And he knows
01:14:54And he knows
01:14:56that we know all about it
01:14:58and won't hesitate to use it
01:15:00against him.
01:15:02The End
01:15:04The End
01:15:06The End
01:15:08The End
01:15:10The End
01:15:12The End
01:15:14The End
01:15:16The End
01:15:18The End
01:15:20The End
01:15:22The End
01:15:24The End
01:15:26The End
01:15:28The End
01:15:30The End
01:15:32The End
01:15:34The End
01:15:36The End
01:15:38The End
01:15:40The End
01:15:42The End
01:15:52The End
01:15:58The End
01:16:00The End
01:16:02It's okay, miss. Brody's in charge now.
01:16:20Oh, no, you're not, detective.
01:16:24As a matter of fact, with this film in the hands of SOB,
01:16:29we are very clearly in charge.
01:16:31It is our intention to leak the information to the KGB
01:16:35and let them take care of their own.
01:16:38It keeps our hands clean of all that messy business
01:16:41and gets rid of an adversary at the same time.
01:16:53Now you know why it was so important to obtain this evidence.
01:17:01Right, Mr. E.
01:17:03Now you know, and soon the whole world will know
01:17:08that my grandson grew up to be a very sick man.
01:17:16The rest part is...
01:17:20He's still out there.
01:17:22I'm gonna try to find a young person can't see it.
01:17:26The fact is too young
01:17:28but the result is still all the trouble.
01:17:43It was a bad word I said,
01:17:45I thought he was Yao.
01:17:46So comin', there's no.
01:17:47You're really very good, Stephen James, Banner.
01:18:04You know, having this picnic was a great idea.
01:18:07I'm just full of great ideas, Fanchella.
01:18:10Such as man?
01:18:11Such as a little more champagne.
01:18:14Please, that crazy story you were telling me about
01:18:17that Mickey character.
01:18:18Is it really true?
01:18:19Ah, classified, darling.
01:18:21In fact, I really shouldn't say no more about it.
01:18:24What if he was still alive?
01:18:26Wouldn't you be in danger?
01:18:27I mean, you were responsible for his cop and death.
01:18:30Well, I suppose I do have to take that chance, don't I?
01:18:35Get down, Fanchella.
01:18:37Jesus.
01:18:41Fanchella, it's only...
01:18:44Jack on me.
01:18:46Just saving your ass again.
01:18:48And it is such a nice ass, Stephen.
01:18:51That little Fanchella of yours just happens to be working
01:18:54at the Soviet embassy down here at the islands.
01:18:57That should be back in Washington by now, Lieutenant.
01:19:00Stephen, work is in everything you know.
01:19:03People do change.
01:19:08You're not kidding.
01:19:09Stephen, it's so good to see you again.
01:19:19But darling, I thought you and me, this wasn't supposed to happen.
01:19:23Oh, shut up and kiss me.
01:19:25Hey, I thought that was my life, you guys.
01:19:28Oh, say love me.
01:19:30Living on the edge
01:19:34Without a prayer in sight
01:19:37You've got me walking on a ledge
01:19:42In the darkest part of night
01:19:47Standing at the edge
01:19:51With so much love to learn
01:19:54And knowing you're one of my...
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