- 3 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30THE END
00:01:00I am not interested in your problems, Agent Karloff.
00:01:09I am only interested in getting our property back
00:01:11and getting rid of their agent permanently.
00:01:30The END
00:01:40This is Banner.
00:01:44I must meet you.
00:01:47Well, I can finish up here later.
00:01:50Sure.
00:01:51When can we meet?
00:01:52Not tomorrow.
00:01:54I've got a little side trip I've got to take first.
00:01:57The next day, then?
00:01:58I could meet you Thursday night in L.A., though.
00:02:00At the Bonaventure?
00:02:01Yeah, at the Bonaventure.
00:02:02Sure.
00:02:03Okay.
00:02:04All right, Miss Karloff.
00:02:05Eight-ish?
00:02:06Eight-ish it is, then.
00:02:08Okay.
00:02:09Sorry, Ling.
00:02:12Got to go.
00:02:13But maybe we can pick this up another time, huh?
00:02:16Or even another lifetime, darling.
00:02:20Ciao.
00:02:20Bye.
00:02:20Oh, my God.
00:02:50Oh, what a waste.
00:02:56Francois, are you coming?
00:02:57Oui, monsieur.
00:02:59At least, monsieur Banner, I got my gun off.
00:03:04God, I love this job.
00:03:06I'm living on the edge
00:03:31Without a prayer inside
00:03:34You've got me walking on the edge
00:03:39In the darkest part of night
00:03:44Standing at the end
00:03:47With so much left to learn
00:03:51You know that you're my only friend
00:03:55I've got nowhere left to turn
00:03:59I'm living on the edge
00:04:03And standing all alone
00:04:07I'm walking on the edge
00:04:12With nowhere left to go
00:04:15But one day I'll be free
00:04:19And I'll step down off the ledge
00:04:24Until it's over
00:04:26I'll be living on the edge
00:04:32When I'm alone with you
00:04:40The world becomes so clear
00:04:44But then the moments are so few
00:04:48When I can have you near me
00:04:53So much time to work
00:04:57So little time to pay
00:05:00I guess it's just my love in life
00:05:05And a heavy price to pay
00:05:08I'm living on the edge
00:05:14And you're just standing all alone
00:05:17I'm walking on the edge
00:05:21With nowhere left to go
00:05:24And one day I'll be free
00:05:28And I'll step down off the ledge
00:05:33Until it's open
00:05:35I'll be living on the edge
00:05:41When it's over
00:05:46Truly over
00:05:50I'll be waiting for you
00:05:56When it's over
00:06:03Truly over
00:06:06I'll be here
00:06:09I'll be here
00:06:10With you
00:06:14I'm living on the edge
00:06:22And I'll be here
00:06:24Just standing all alone
00:06:28I'm walking on the edge
00:06:29I'm walking on the edge
00:06:33With nowhere left to go
00:06:36But one day I'll be free
00:06:40And I'll step down off the ledge
00:06:44Until it's over
00:06:47I'll be living on the edge
00:06:52Where the hell is that
00:07:02Unreliable son of a bitch
00:07:04How come you can be on time
00:07:05And he can't
00:07:05He's here, sir
00:07:06I saw him in his quarters last night
00:07:08I'll bet you did
00:07:09I thought you two were through again
00:07:10Listen, why don't you just give this to him
00:07:12I'm sick and tired of sitting around
00:07:14Waiting for the great Mr. Banner
00:07:16You called?
00:07:20Well, hi, y'all
00:07:21What the hell is she doing here?
00:07:25Well, why don't you just think of me
00:07:27As your report card, Python
00:07:28No, Mr. E counts on me
00:07:31To protect the special interests
00:07:33Of these special operations
00:07:35You're doing a swell job, Chesley
00:07:37Just what I need
00:07:38A goddamn watchdog
00:07:39Just keep it up, Python
00:07:44And you're a dead man
00:07:49You know, Python
00:07:53It's really good to see our two agencies
00:07:56Working together again
00:07:57On this mission, Hotshot
00:08:00You're working for me
00:08:01Oh, is that a fact, Colonel?
00:08:03As long as I outrank you, it is
00:08:05Gentlemen, I believe we have a job to do
00:08:08All right, just run it down, Python
00:08:11It's pretty cut and dry, Sonny
00:08:13But if you need me to explain it to you
00:08:16You've got to go someplace you're not supposed to be
00:08:18To take out a radar installation
00:08:20That's not supposed to exist
00:08:21And there's one more thing
00:08:23Super spy
00:08:24I want you to remember
00:08:26That it's because of you
00:08:27I lost my legs
00:08:28In the interest of interagency cooperation
00:08:32Now, you get the hell out of here
00:08:35Before I really get mad
00:08:37And I want you to check with me
00:08:38Every step of the way
00:08:41And if you need backup
00:08:43I'm your contact
00:08:44You understand
00:08:45Trust me
00:09:02Trust me
00:09:03Trust me
00:09:04Trust me
00:09:05Trust me
00:09:06Trust me
00:09:07Trust me
00:09:08Trust me
00:09:09Trust me
00:09:10Trust me
00:09:11Trust me
00:09:12Trust me
00:09:13Trust me
00:09:14Trust me
00:09:15Trust me
00:09:16Trust me
00:09:17Trust me
00:09:18Trust me
00:09:19Trust me
00:09:20Trust me
00:09:21Trust me
00:09:22Trust me
00:09:23Trust me
00:09:24Trust me
00:09:25Trust me
00:09:26Trust me
00:09:27Trust me
00:09:28Trust me
00:09:29Trust me
00:09:30Trust me
00:09:31Trust me
00:09:32Okay, Banner, it looks like the camp is just a half a mile to the east.
00:09:53We might as well take it down.
00:09:56Hey, did you get a good look at that radar unit?
00:09:58Yeah, yeah, there's only a couple of guys around.
00:10:00It looks like a piece of cake.
00:10:02Well, Jake, let's go get a piece.
00:10:04Oh, please, Banner.
00:10:06Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:09Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:11Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:15Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:19Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:21Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:23Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:28Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:29Okay, let's go get a piece of cake.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:11:01Oh, Jacqueline, give me your .38, would you?
00:11:05What?
00:11:07Just a little extra protection for me.
00:11:13Daddy Yankee?
00:11:17Buenos dias, senorita.
00:11:21Come on, Banner.
00:11:22Let's blow this pop stand.
00:11:24This?
00:11:25I'm sure our comrades are going to bang out of this one.
00:11:27Here, take an end to this, will you?
00:11:31Come on.
00:11:34Let's go.
00:11:34Let's go.
00:11:43Let's go.
00:11:48Let's go.
00:11:48Let's go.
00:19:49If I know him, he'll probably take himself out with it.
00:19:52And don't worry about the backup.
00:19:54It's on its way.
00:19:56Out.
00:19:56Yeah, this is...
00:20:06Yeah, this is...
00:20:06Yeah, this is...
00:20:07I'll be right back.
00:20:08I'll be right back.
00:20:17I'll be right back.
00:20:18I'm surprised that your government can't do better than this.
00:20:19I'll be right back.
00:20:20I'll be right back.
00:20:20I'll be right back.
00:20:30Nice.
00:20:31You know, general, you know, general, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?
00:20:43Come on, get out of there, Stephen James Banner.
00:20:44It does look down there, General.
00:20:45No!
00:20:46No!
00:20:47No!
00:20:48No!
00:20:49No!
00:20:50No!
00:20:51No!
00:20:52No!
00:20:53No!
00:20:54No!
00:20:55No!
00:20:56No!
00:20:57No!
00:20:58No!
00:20:59No!
00:21:00No!
00:21:01No!
00:21:02No!
00:21:03No!
00:21:04No!
00:21:05No!
00:21:06No!
00:21:07No!
00:21:08No!
00:21:09No!
00:21:10No!
00:21:11No!
00:21:12No!
00:21:13No!
00:21:14One!
00:21:15Si!
00:21:16이� Eddy!
00:21:17No!
00:21:18No!
00:21:19No!
00:21:20No!
00:21:21No!
00:21:22No!
00:21:23No!
00:21:25Tu!
00:21:26Du!
00:21:27No!
00:21:28No!
00:21:29No!
00:21:30Nao!
00:21:31No!
00:21:32No!
00:21:33No!
00:21:34No!
00:21:35No!
00:21:36No!
00:21:37Tu!
00:21:38Un!
00:21:39100!
00:21:40Un!
00:21:41Ys!
00:21:42I'm a little bit tired.
00:21:44Let's go!
00:21:45The fire is coming.
00:21:46Get it, get it!
00:21:47Get it, get it!
00:21:48Get it, get it!
00:21:49Get it, get it!
00:21:50Get it, get it!
00:21:51Get it, get it, get it!
00:22:12Get out of here!
00:22:14Get out of here!
00:22:15God, get out of here!
00:22:42Get out of here!
00:23:12I wonder how I am so fired.
00:23:42I'm a little busy right now.
00:23:47I'm sorry.
00:23:48I lost your visual.
00:23:49Can you make it to the plane?
00:23:51Roger, I'm almost there.
00:23:52You better be too, Jack.
00:23:53You better be too, Jack.
00:23:54Let's go.
00:23:55I'm a little busy.
00:23:56I'm a little busy.
00:23:59Yeah.
00:24:00Yeah.
00:24:02Yeah.
00:24:04Yeah.
00:24:06Yeah.
00:24:07What's up, what's up?
00:24:10What's up?
00:24:11What's up, what's up?
00:24:14What's up, what's up?
00:24:16What's up, what's up?
00:24:17What's up, what's up?
00:24:18Oh, I'm sorry.
00:24:19Why can't you listen?
00:24:20Ahh!
00:24:22Ahh!
00:24:23This is Code 5, Code 5.
00:24:27Jackman, are you there?
00:24:29Come in.
00:24:30Yeah, no, what was that explosion?
00:24:32Is our ticket out of here?
00:24:34The plane?
00:24:35The plane's been hit.
00:24:37All right, listen, I radioed for some backup earlier.
00:24:41There should be a chopper at the rendezvous point.
00:24:43Okay, on my way.
00:24:47You better be there.
00:24:49You son of a bitch.
00:25:07One, sir, he's in the street.
00:25:10Roger, very astray.
00:25:30Go on, Jacqueline. Get the hell out of here.
00:25:34That's in order.
00:25:37Oh, my God.
00:25:40Oh, my God.
00:25:46Oh, my God.
00:25:47Oh, my God.
00:25:48Oh, my God.
00:26:00That's not too long.
00:26:04Oh, my God.
00:26:06Come on, buddy.
00:26:13Three of the crowd.
00:26:16Oh, Steven.
00:26:21Jacket.
00:26:24Bravo, leader.
00:26:26This is code 5.
00:26:29Do you have copy?
00:26:39All right.
00:26:41The target is permanently disabled.
00:26:43I repeat, permanently disabled.
00:26:46Take your troops to the pre-designated coordinates
00:26:49and destroy the remains of the camp.
00:26:51Do you understand?
00:26:52Bravo, leader.
00:26:54Good.
00:26:59God damn it, Banner.
00:27:01Nobody touches that camp.
00:27:03Do you copy, Bravo, leader?
00:27:05Banner, what frequency are you on?
00:27:08Switching to frequency 1.25 X-ray.
00:27:13Charlie Company team leader.
00:27:14Are you in position?
00:27:16Banner, can anybody hear me?
00:27:22I knew he'd do this to me.
00:27:28They're gonna have my ass for this.
00:27:31Good.
00:27:32But remember, this is the 1980s, guys, and not the Bay of Pigs.
00:27:36So just back up Bravo Company with some firepower
00:27:39and get your boys home.
00:27:41Is that understood, Charlie?
00:27:42Yes, sir, Captain.
00:27:43We're moving in now.
00:27:44Good luck, man.
00:27:45Out.
00:27:46Out.
00:28:04Banner!
00:28:16Out.
00:28:17To be continued.
00:28:29Home!
00:31:00Ah, Comrade Karloff.
00:31:05Is the meeting still on?
00:31:07Yes, sir.
00:31:08I reached Banner in Hong Kong.
00:31:11Thought this guy was raising hell in Cuba.
00:31:13That's the preliminary report.
00:31:16Let's see.
00:31:18Banner.
00:31:20E-A-N-N-E-R.
00:31:22Steven James, data is coming up on the screen now.
00:31:30Oh, yes.
00:31:32Number three.
00:31:34Age 32.
00:31:36Single.
00:31:37High kill ratio.
00:31:39Very deadly man, this Banner character.
00:31:43Sir, I don't understand what's so important about the print of that Christmas film Mr. E got from us, or why we'd even want it back.
00:31:51That film's story is not just fictitious Hollywood.
00:31:55There was only one print of that film before we destroyed the negative.
00:32:00But this film documents what one of our agents, the one Mickey Schultz, did last Christmas, and what his potential is for doing more damage this year.
00:32:11That footage is real, comrade.
00:32:15Pardon me, General, but this doesn't seem to be very important from our country's point of view.
00:32:20Just get the film away from the Americans and drop it in the vault at our UN operations.
00:32:27Yes, sir.
00:32:41Ladies and gentlemen, would you please give Mr. E. your undivided attention?
00:32:59I believe you all know why you're here.
00:33:03Uh, if you will allow me, sir.
00:33:05It took a great deal of effort and interagency cooperation in order to obtain this valuable piece of blackmail.
00:33:15I have personally laid my reputation on the line.
00:33:19Now, if you will, pay close attention to what you're going to see on the screen.
00:33:33The subject had no knowledge that he was being filmed.
00:33:51Suffice it to say, this is confidential.
00:33:55I trust that nothing will go beyond this room.
00:33:58Agreed?
00:33:59Thank you, Mr. E.
00:34:01Roll film, please.
00:34:02Okay, right away.
00:34:05Bye-bye.
00:34:06Bye-bye.
00:34:06Bye-bye.
00:34:37What is this, a joke?
00:34:43I assure you, it's not.
00:34:46And if you'll just be patient, Lieutenant,
00:34:49we'll all be able to find out just how critical this is to our national security.
00:34:56And I'm a cop.
00:34:57I carry a badge, a gun, and bullets,
00:35:01and a nightstick, and handcuffs, and...
00:35:04I'm a stranger.
00:35:05I'm a stranger.
00:35:06I'm a stranger.
00:35:11I'm a stranger.
00:35:26Oh, my God.
00:35:56Oh, my God.
00:36:26Oh, my God.
00:36:56Oh, my God.
00:37:27That, folks, was almost 20 years ago.
00:37:29Turn on the lights.
00:37:45What's wrong with the film?
00:37:47What are you guys doing about this?
00:37:51What?
00:37:53It appears the rest of the film is missing, sir.
00:37:57Gone.
00:37:59Find that film today.
00:38:01Put your best man on it.
00:38:02Yes, sir.
00:38:04Consider it done.
00:38:21Stephen, I'm so glad you could make dinner tonight.
00:38:24I must say, it's been a most enlightening evening.
00:38:27Why, thank you, Stephen.
00:38:30And I must say, I was certainly surprised to know you were free tonight.
00:38:34The scuttlebutt around the office is you're working on a very important project.
00:38:39Sure.
00:38:40Well, maybe, but that's pretty much behind us now.
00:38:44Uh, tell me, Miss Karloff, how long have you been with our agency?
00:38:48And how would you know about my son?
00:38:51Oh, well, you certainly aren't inquisitive, little devil, aren't you?
00:38:54I almost feel as if you don't trust me, Stephen.
00:38:58No, not at all.
00:39:00This has been a long trip back from Hong Kong, that's all.
00:39:03I'm just a little tired.
00:39:05Excuse me, sir, you have an urgent phone call.
00:39:07Oh, God, I'll never ask.
00:39:10Banner here.
00:39:11Stephen, I'm glad I found you.
00:39:14How did you?
00:39:15I won't even ask.
00:39:17I suppose it's important, though, huh?
00:39:18Mr. E is livid.
00:39:20Someone inside our headquarters snatched a highly secret film that must be recovered.
00:39:26You suspect, of course, a...
00:39:28Yes, a double agent.
00:39:31Uh, right, Lieutenant.
00:39:33I think the answer might be staring me right in the face.
00:39:36What?
00:39:37Never mind.
00:39:38I'll, uh, I'll explain it all later.
00:39:41Uh, where's the meet?
00:39:42At the submarine base.
00:39:43About one hour.
00:39:44Okay, sure.
00:39:47Well, Mr. E is going to run, but...
00:39:50Duty does call.
00:39:52Uh, waiter, can this lovely lady have some coffee?
00:39:55Or perhaps you'd prefer a black Russian.
00:40:03Again, a check!
00:40:05Give me a scotch of water straight up.
00:40:07Certainly, madam.
00:40:08Oh, and this should take care of the goddamn bill.
00:40:11Mr. E is livid.
00:40:23Someone inside our headquarters snatched a highly secret film that must be recovered.
00:40:28Looking for me, Jacqueline?
00:40:49Oh, my God.
00:40:51Late as usual, Banner.
00:40:53Well, don't worry.
00:40:56I've brought along some of those gizmos you guys like to play with.
00:41:01Here's your A-48 decoder.
00:41:03It'll get you into the Soviet's computer room at the U.N.
00:41:06We think the film's in the safe by the main terminal room.
00:41:12God, I love these toys.
00:41:14Knock it off.
00:41:15I signed for that.
00:41:17Now, here's their latest printout, cross-referenced to gain access to the main computer.
00:41:21It should open the safe.
00:41:23Hopefully, the film's still in there.
00:41:25It's with this film anyway, Jacqueline.
00:41:29Or no movies, right?
00:41:30Not likely, but Mr. E's bent on getting this back into our hands.
00:41:34Says it could be a real smoking gun for the Kremlin.
00:41:37So they haven't even told you.
00:41:40Rather high security, Jacqueline.
00:41:43Rather high priority, Banner.
00:41:48Touché.
00:41:54Miss Karloff, what is your location?
00:41:56I'm right outside our computer operations building.
00:42:00Stephen has already gone in.
00:42:03Stephen?
00:42:04Are you two that close?
00:42:07Please, General.
00:42:09If he's as good as his record,
00:42:12he might just bypass security,
00:42:14decode the safe,
00:42:16and get the film back into United States' hands.
00:42:23I agree.
00:42:24I suggest we bring in more manpower and...
00:42:27Yet, Karloff.
00:42:29I don't want anyone,
00:42:31not even our own people,
00:42:32seeing that film.
00:42:34Homrad,
00:42:35Mickey,
00:42:36that kid in the film,
00:42:38he's now an adult,
00:42:40and one of our agents.
00:42:43He must be protected.
00:42:46He must be protected.
00:42:48I see no purpose in going on with this charade.
00:43:09In truth,
00:43:10he's no agent.
00:43:16He's my grandson,
00:43:18a psychopathic killer
00:43:19whose identity,
00:43:21if known to the rest,
00:43:22could prove very embarrassing
00:43:24to our government.
00:43:26And definitely,
00:43:28the end of my career.
00:43:31But, sir, I thought that...
00:43:32Enough said, comrade.
00:43:34Just recover that film
00:43:36and deliver it directly to me.
00:43:39Yes, sir.
00:43:40Consider it done.
00:43:42End communication.
00:43:48Goodbye, Karloff.
00:43:58And good luck.
00:44:00And good luck.
00:44:30PHONE RINGS
00:45:00PHONE RINGS
00:45:09Do you want to play a game?
00:45:13Uh, no computer, I do not want to play a game
00:45:17Oh, please enter your security code then
00:45:30I acknowledge your authority, let us begin
00:45:41By all means, I'd like to know computer, where the movie film that was recent deposit here is being kept
00:45:49The motion picture film is being kept in the master safe in the east part of this room
00:45:57Good, computer, just what is on that film that's so damn important?
00:46:04Apparently, one of our Moscow-based generals had a son who is a psychopathic killer
00:46:12One Christmas Eve, he hacked up his mother and his father
00:46:16Enough
00:46:17What the hell
00:46:22Sir?
00:46:24Uh, nothing computer
00:46:26Begin sequencing the combination of the airlock safe
00:46:30The sequencing to open the master safe has been done
00:46:40Okay, thank you computer
00:46:42Only ten seconds now until you will have access to the vault
00:46:47Continue, thank you
00:46:49Countdown
00:46:51Countdown
00:46:52Five
00:46:54Four
00:46:55Three
00:46:56Two
00:46:57And open
00:46:59You now have two minutes
00:47:04You now have two minutes
00:47:08But you, uh, good job, oh boy
00:47:10What do you think?
00:47:14Do you know I'm not?
00:47:34All five
00:47:35Did you really die?
00:47:36You?
00:47:37No
00:47:38Uh
00:47:39Whoa
00:47:40Abrami
00:47:41Yarai
00:47:42So many seconds to die
00:47:45No
00:47:46He's out of fire
00:47:47Really
00:47:57Ow
00:47:59Whoa
00:48:04Oh!
00:48:24Oh!
00:48:34You got shit.
00:48:37You got shit.
00:48:39You got shit.
00:48:41Fight, fight for your life.
00:48:44You turn my news without anything else.
00:48:50Fight, fight for your life.
00:48:54You got shit.
00:48:56You got shit.
00:48:58You got shit.
00:49:00Fight.
00:49:02Fight.
00:49:04Fight.
00:49:30Fight.
00:49:36Aaaaaaaa.
00:49:38Aaaaaaaa!!
00:49:40Aaaaahhhhhh.
00:49:42Aaaaaaaah.
00:49:44Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh.
00:49:49Ah, Mr. E. Good timing.
00:50:04Hit it, driver.
00:50:19This is Banner, catch me through the aerial surveillance.
00:50:27Yeah, this is field agent Banner, um, getting some aerial surveillance on target heading
00:50:34south on 101.
00:50:37Can you get the target in sight?
00:50:46Yeah, it is a motorcycle.
00:50:49That's right.
00:50:52Just keep the distance and be ready to fire if necessary.
00:50:56Faster, driver.
00:51:16Oh, that was close.
00:51:23It'll be all right.
00:51:26Oh, you got it, you got it.
00:51:31Oh, you gotta forget, driver.
00:51:38Lay undercover.
00:51:42And don't get betrayed.
00:51:44Move out of two-time weather.
00:51:48Well, boy, you're thinking...
00:51:50No, no, hold your fire.
00:51:52I think you're okay.
00:51:54Off the screen.
00:52:04Ah, good.
00:52:09There's nothing left to say.
00:52:13Let's go.
00:52:14Sorry, driver.
00:52:17Well, I'm afraid we've lost this matter.
00:52:36Well, maybe not.
00:52:43Oh, no!
00:52:44Ah!
00:52:45Ah!
00:52:46Oh!
00:52:47Oh!
00:52:48Oh!
00:52:49Ah!
00:52:50You know that film even here?
00:52:52God, you son of a bitch!
00:52:53Bitch!
00:52:54You, cheap son of a bitch!
00:52:55That's what you get for sticking me with that check!
00:52:59Oh!
00:53:00Not so fast, Karloff.
00:53:02Ah!
00:53:03You asshole!
00:53:14Oh!
00:53:17Of course, now that the film is gone, we could say we just did our part for detente, huh?
00:53:27Ciao!
00:53:28But, Fanner, I don't know how to land this thing!
00:53:32Oh, damn you!
00:53:37It does have a nice ass, though.
00:53:39Okay.
00:53:40Yes?
00:53:41What?
00:53:42Put it on the screen!
00:53:46How close is our sub?
00:53:49And the Americans?
00:53:50Get our divers in the water!
00:53:51Now!
00:53:52I want that film!
00:53:53Now!
00:53:54I want that film!
00:54:01How close is our sub?
00:54:09And the Americans?
00:54:12Get our divers in the water.
00:54:15Now!
00:54:16I want that film!
00:54:21No!
00:54:31Permission to come aboard, Corporal.
00:54:36Oh, yes, sir.
00:54:37Yes, sir, Captain Banner.
00:54:39It's Mr. Corporal, ma'am.
00:54:41Nice of you to drop in like this.
00:54:42I hope you didn't dress up on my account.
00:54:45Well, gee.
00:54:47Uh, Lieutenant.
00:54:50I've been running around a lot today.
00:54:52Rush the sub, close your fence on target, ma'am.
00:54:54Thank you, Corporal.
00:54:55Come on, Stephen.
00:54:56Your gear is down in the torpedo room.
00:54:58This way, sir.
00:55:00Captain Leading Bridge.
00:55:01Dive, dive.
00:55:14I'm Scott.
00:55:18Jacqueline, just what the hell is going on with this film?
00:55:21I've been going around here like...
00:55:22Stephen, I'll explain everything later.
00:55:24The Russians have to be stopped at any cost.
00:55:27Understood?
00:55:28Yes, yes.
00:55:29Captain, understood.
00:55:32I am, yes, ma'am.
00:55:35Sorry, Stephen.
00:55:36Just be careful, okay?
00:55:38Those guys are acting real serious.
00:55:39And this is serious.
00:55:53Come on, would you look at that picture?
00:55:54Wait.
00:55:55Yeah, sir.
00:55:57What, what, what, what, what, what...
00:55:57What, what, what, what, what, what?
00:55:57What, what, what, what, what, what, what...
00:55:58Oh, God, would you look at that picture?
00:56:09What year is that taking, anyway?
00:56:11Still hiding your eyes in front of whining us, don't you, Steven?
00:56:17Oh, Jacqueline, I didn't know I could trust you, but...
00:56:21This whole head...
00:56:22Besides, I've always been able to see right through me anyway.
00:56:26You don't pull me.
00:56:281983.
00:56:30Cone.
00:56:31What?
00:56:32Oh, the picture, remember?
00:56:34Operation Carnac, I believe.
00:56:37Oh, yeah.
00:56:39Well, we sure got around, didn't we?
00:56:46How did I ever let myself get involved with you, Steven?
00:56:50We can get into the rules.
00:56:51Oh, rules, rules.
00:56:53No interpersonal relationships between agents, that's...
00:56:57Well, Banner, those are the rules, you know.
00:56:59I know.
00:57:00The agency's rules, Jacqueline.
00:57:03Why do you think they call our unit S-O-V?
00:57:06What the hell are them?
00:57:07The hell, Mr. E.
00:57:08May I have this?
00:57:10Steven!
00:57:11The locket looks really nice on you, Steven.
00:57:25Do you really like it?
00:57:27Of course I do.
00:57:28I love it.
00:57:30They'll be my good luck job.
00:57:31Kind of like a gold dog tattoo, you know.
00:57:35Oh, that's the thanks I get for...
00:57:37Damn it, Jacqueline.
00:57:39I don't know why you always want to pick a fight when I gotta leave.
00:57:42Maybe it pisses me off.
00:57:43Oh, well, I never could compete with all your women, Banner.
00:57:47Hey, there never was a contest, especially with you and your daughter.
00:57:54Look, Steven, you are what you are, and it feels like I'm just holding you back.
00:57:59Just holding you, Jacqueline.
00:58:01I'm so proud of you, Steven James, Banner.
00:58:08You're a lot of times.
00:58:10I'm always so strong.
00:58:12Tell that to my heart, George.
00:58:15I think if the moment is breaking, make sure you can't come, Jacqueline.
00:58:21What?
00:58:22To New Zealand?
00:58:23I'm afraid not, babe.
00:58:25I sure won't miss you, though.
00:58:28I'll always miss you.
00:58:31Allow me be to see
00:58:33There you go.
00:58:37Steven, I can watch you fight, and I can watch you win,
00:58:42but I will never watch you die.
00:58:45And that is the reality of you.
00:58:47That sometimes, some place in the world, when you let your guard down,
00:58:52some faces assassin will kill you.
00:58:55And I think I'd rather not be there for that scene, if you don't mind, darling.
00:59:01And I...
00:59:05...
00:59:07...select air,
00:59:09...supressurization fly switch to air.
00:59:11...supressurization fly switch to air, LCP-1I.
00:59:15...supressur ship hovering mode and missile launch.
00:59:185-Nav weapons.
00:59:19Navigation fire control transmitting set.
00:59:21Completed.
00:59:21Start at sight point.
00:59:23Offer day, select training fire.
00:59:25Weapons, you have permission to fire.
00:59:27You have permission to fire, I can.
00:59:28...supressurization.
00:59:29Weapons, ton, you have permission to fire.
00:59:31I don't want it.
00:59:33Fire! I want it.
01:00:01Oh.
01:00:03Nothing.
01:00:05Oh.
01:00:07Oh.
01:00:09Oh.
01:00:11Oh.
01:00:17Oh.
01:00:19Oh.
01:00:21Oh.
01:00:23Oh.
01:00:25Oh.
01:00:27Let's go.
01:00:57Let's go.
01:01:27Ladies and gentlemen, we have at great cost recover the film that Mr. E here so desperately wanted.
01:01:39Why, thank you, Captain Banner.
01:01:41I assure you, sir, your efforts will not go unrecognized.
01:01:45After viewing it, though, sir, I must say that this snuff movie Detective Brody obtained appears at first glance to be nothing more than one of those awful holiday horror movies we see in the theaters.
01:01:56But, of course, as all of us know in this room, the murders are real.
01:02:01Certainly, it does reveal the identity of a very sick little boy, and mainly that the killer is the grandson of one of Russia's most premier generals.
01:02:10A very damaging piece of blackmail.
01:02:13But if you want my opinion, Mr. E, and I'm sure that you do, I think in the spirit of glasnost and the friendship that we're now experiencing between our two countries, you should destroy this little film and put our agency to better use next time.
01:02:27That's enough, Captain.
01:02:28Banner, that's just not your call.
01:02:31All right, well, if you'll excuse me, I do have a plane to catch.
01:02:35Oh, and I hope you're amused at this clever little piece of satire.
01:02:39But think hard about what you're going to do with this film.
01:02:43It was up to me.
01:02:44Quite frankly, I would burn it.
01:02:48Good day, gentlemen, ladies, detective, Mr. E.
01:02:54Enjoy.
01:02:58If you all remember, in the opening segment of this film, the young boy had just killed his mother and her lover.
01:03:07And that was in 1965.
01:03:10A detective, Brody, here had put him away.
01:03:13In the next portion, you'll see that young Mickey is back in action.
01:03:17Only now he's quite grown up.
01:03:21And very, very deadly.
01:03:26Just roll the film, Brody.
01:03:28Hi, Janie.
01:03:48You're just in time.
01:03:51Bobby's over here.
01:03:53Look, Bobby, Janie's here.
01:03:55I know.
01:03:56Hi, Bobby.
01:03:56Hi.
01:03:57Gosh, Mrs. Brown, what a beautiful tree.
01:04:00This here looks like Christmas in here.
01:04:02Thanks, Janie.
01:04:03Look, here's 20 bucks for pizza in case you get hungry.
01:04:07That should cover a tip, too.
01:04:09I'll be out real late tonight.
01:04:10And see that he doesn't get into his presence, okay?
01:04:14I know.
01:04:15No problem, Mrs. Brown.
01:04:16Bobby and I will be just fine.
01:04:18Bobby, now don't make a mess.
01:04:20I just had the place cleaned.
01:04:21I know.
01:04:23Ciao, everyone.
01:04:23Come on.
01:04:28Ah!
01:04:29Woo!
01:04:29That's where he's coming!
01:04:31Sorry!
01:04:34No, baby.
01:04:39How's that?
01:04:40What's that?
01:04:41Stop, stop.
01:04:42I think I got it.
01:04:43I don't know.
01:04:46Okay.
01:04:46Come on, I got it.
01:04:47Come on.
01:04:49Relax.
01:04:50Don't get so bent out of shape.
01:04:52No, I just love him so much.
01:04:54They said that he wasn't even you.
01:04:56Sure, just when I thought it was safe to come back into this apartment.
01:04:59Yeah, I knew you were going to say this.
01:05:01Sure you did.
01:05:03I had this really freaky dream about this big red moon,
01:05:06and it was just bleeding all over me.
01:05:08It was so corrupt.
01:05:10You know, I get crazy when there's a phone moving.
01:05:13You mean a phone would get crazy?
01:05:15You're nuts anyway.
01:05:17I got it.
01:05:18I got a word that's just going to kill you.
01:05:20Oh, yeah?
01:05:21Yeah.
01:05:21How do you spell fornicate?
01:05:24Fornicate?
01:05:25That's easy.
01:05:26F, you got that?
01:05:28O, U, Q.
01:05:33Botania, let's sleep here.
01:05:36Shh, Bobby.
01:05:37Now you just close your eyes and get some rest.
01:05:40I'll try to get these people out of here as soon as I can.
01:05:43Remember, Santa's coming tonight.
01:05:45I do.
01:05:46As strange and amusing as this might appear, keep in mind that every murder you see on this film is real.
01:05:58Rumors have it that a series of so-called snuff films were made using easily manipulated mental patients to commit actual murders.
01:06:07This particular film, our experts have documented, is absolutely authentic.
01:06:14And more important, the identity of this killer is what is of interest to us.
01:06:21Great interest.
01:06:23I don't know.
01:06:24I don't know.
01:06:25I don't know.
01:06:26I don't know.
01:06:27I don't know.
01:06:28I don't know.
01:06:29I don't know.
01:06:30I don't know.
01:06:31I don't know.
01:06:32I don't know.
01:06:33I don't know.
01:06:34I don't know.
01:06:35I don't know.
01:06:36I don't know.
01:06:37I don't know.
01:06:38I don't know.
01:06:39I don't know.
01:06:40I don't know.
01:06:41I don't know.
01:06:42I don't know.
01:06:43Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
01:06:56Figures
01:07:00Figures
01:07:03Oh, my God.
01:07:33Oh, my God.
01:07:35There we are.
01:07:37Who is it?
01:07:39Who is there?
01:07:41Who is it?
01:08:03Attention all units. This is an all-points bulletin for a heavyset man reportedly dressed in a red suit, black boots, white beard, and possibly armed an angel.
01:08:14And a tiny reindeer.
01:08:16The suspect escaped tonight from Sunnydale Sanitarium. His name is Mickey Schultz. His alias. Get this gag. It's Kris Kringle.
01:08:27So it's back in town, huh? A real nut. You know what, Anderson?
01:08:36What, Brody?
01:08:38About 20 years ago, he killed his mother and his old man with a butcher knife on Christmas Eve.
01:08:45I never saw so much blood in my life, and I'll never forget it either.
01:08:50Watch it, Brody. A red light.
01:08:52Fuck, um, I'm a cop.
01:08:54Anyway, we went in, and we found the two of them laying there, cacked up like a side of beef.
01:09:03And that little monster's standing there with a knife in his hands.
01:09:08My partner, Kelly, he started puking. He started puking his guts out all over the place.
01:09:14Uh, excuse me, Brody. I think we should acknowledge that A.P.B.
01:09:18Don't worry about it, Anderson. I got my own way of finding this one.
01:09:24One looking to his dead black eyes, and I'll know him.
01:09:31He's a stone nut.
01:09:33Ever since he saw his mama kissing Santa Claus, he's been crazy ever since.
01:09:38You know what, Anderson?
01:09:38When the doctors examined the kid's head, they found dog shit for brains.
01:09:45Thank you, Detective, for that illuminating and tasteful description of the murder.
01:09:52Shall we proceed?
01:09:54The next brutal murder takes place here.
01:09:56Hey, man. What's going on?
01:10:10Shoot, I'll check it.
01:10:13I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:15I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:45I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:46I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:47I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:48I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:49I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:50I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:51I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:52I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:53I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:54I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:55I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:56I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:57I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:58I gotta do everything myself.
01:10:59I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:00I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:01I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:02I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:03I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:04I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:05I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:06I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:07I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:08I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:09I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:10I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:11I gotta do everything myself.
01:11:12Well, I guess that's graphic enough to give us the general idea.
01:11:23Obviously, our murderer is quite mad.
01:11:26And he continues killing until there's only one girl left.
01:11:38Mmm. Want some?
01:11:40Mmm. Yeah.
01:11:42Oh, and admit, I gotta pee.
01:11:45Hey, watch your mouth. You're gonna have to learn how to talk more like a lady.
01:11:58Hey, Sherry, get a load of this.
01:12:07Far out.
01:12:08Oh, my baby does it. Okay.
01:12:21Swish splat.
01:12:22Are you looking at?
01:12:37Yes.
01:12:37Yes.
01:12:38Yes.
01:12:38John, what's all the racket going on?
01:12:56Tom, what's all the racket going on?
01:13:01Oh, the tub.
01:13:04Oh, my God.
01:13:06Oh, my gosh.
01:13:14Oh, my God.
01:13:19Oh, my God.
01:13:21Billy, did you hear that?
01:13:39Oh, it's probably just Sherry.
01:13:41She's a moaner.
01:13:42Yeah, how would you know?
01:13:45Billy, hurry.
01:13:46I think you better go see what's wrong.
01:13:47No way, Jose.
01:13:49Please.
01:13:51I better call the police.
01:13:57Oh my God, the phone's dead.
01:14:24So am I.
01:14:27I'll just fast forward this to get to the end.
01:14:34Now, the point is, is that these murders are real, and the psycho they use to commit them
01:14:44is none other than the grandson of General Alexey Grossoff of the USSR Secret Police.
01:14:52And he knows that we know all about it and won't hesitate to use it against him.
01:15:00Charlie!
01:15:09Charlie!
01:15:10Ah!
01:15:40Oh, my God.
01:16:10It's okay, miss. Brody's in charge now.
01:16:20Oh, no, you're not, detective.
01:16:24As a matter of fact, with this film in the hands of SOB, we are very clearly in charge.
01:16:32It is our intention to leak the information to the KGB and let them take care of their own.
01:16:38It keeps our hands clean of all that messy business and gets rid of an adversary at the same time.
01:16:47Now you know why it was so important to obtain this evidence.
01:16:56Right, Mr. E. Now you know, and soon the whole world will know that my grandson grew up to be a very sick man.
01:17:16The last part is, he's still out there.
01:17:22Okay.
01:17:24Okay.
01:17:24Okay.
01:17:25Okay.
01:17:26Okay.
01:17:27Okay.
01:17:28Okay.
01:17:29Okay.
01:17:30Okay.
01:17:31Okay.
01:17:32Okay.
01:17:33Okay.
01:17:34Okay.
01:17:35Okay.
01:17:36Okay.
01:17:37Okay.
01:17:38Okay.
01:17:39Okay.
01:17:40Okay.
01:17:41Okay.
01:17:42Okay.
01:17:43Okay.
01:17:44Okay.
01:17:45Okay.
01:17:46Okay.
01:17:47Okay.
01:17:48Okay.
01:17:49Okay.
01:17:50Okay.
01:17:51Okay.
01:17:52Okay.
01:17:53Okay.
01:17:54You're really very good, Stephen James, Fana.
01:18:04You know, having this picnic was a great idea.
01:18:07I'm just full of great ideas, Fanchella.
01:18:10Such as mine?
01:18:11Such as a little more champagne.
01:18:13Please, that crazy story you were telling me about that Mickey character, is it really true?
01:18:20Classified, darling.
01:18:21In fact, I really shouldn't say no more about it.
01:18:24What if he was still alive?
01:18:26Wouldn't you be in danger?
01:18:27I mean, you were responsible for his cop's death.
01:18:30Well, I suppose I do have to take that chance, don't I?
01:18:35Get down, Fanchella.
01:18:37Jesus.
01:18:41Fanchella, it's only...
01:18:43Jack on.
01:18:46Just saving your ass again.
01:18:48And it is such a nice ass, Stephen.
01:18:50That little Fanchella of yours just happens to be working at the Soviet embassy down here at the islands.
01:18:57I thought you'd be back in Washington by now, Lieutenant.
01:19:00Stephen, work is in everything you know.
01:19:03People do change.
01:19:05Stephen, it's so good to see you again.
01:19:20But darling, I thought you and me, this wasn't supposed to happen.
01:19:23Oh, shut up and kiss me.
01:19:25I thought that was my life, you guys.
01:19:28Oh, say love me.
01:19:30Living on the edge
01:19:34Without a prayer in sight
01:19:37You've got me walking on a ledge
01:19:42In the darkest part of night
01:19:47Standing at the edge
01:19:51With so much laughter
01:19:53And E sky
01:19:54With increasing JOHN
01:19:55Let's告訴 you
01:19:56On an acts
01:19:57With so much laughter
01:20:14For some of this
01:20:15and with so much laughter
01:20:16And with so much laughter
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