- 9 months ago
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FunTranscript
00:00You! You! You! You, cocksucker! You did this!
00:23You're the reason Sex Ferguson is here!
00:25You're the reason that dickhead is here!
00:27You gotta wake him up.
00:28Ah!
00:30See? See?
00:31You! Hey, fella!
00:32You're the reason that cocksucker is here!
00:34I hate Sex fucking Ferguson!
00:36Is that your fucking sin?
00:37I hate fucking Sex Ferguson!
00:39I'm sin because you drug me into that shitty Indian
00:41and I've taken 23 shits in the last two hours!
00:45Hi, Tucker Norrie.
00:46Sex fucking Ferguson.
00:49Sex fucking Ferguson?
00:51Gallows brings him in to be on Cock Torturers.
00:55Cock Torturers is defunct!
00:58It failed!
00:59It sucked!
01:01Now Gallows tells us to put Sex Ferguson on Talkin' Shop?
01:06Fuck no!
01:08Sex Ferguson is here because I had a podcast!
01:11I had a concept!
01:12I had a Cock Torturers!
01:14And now it's defunct!
01:15And I used all my scum mouths to get him here!
01:17And he's a legend!
01:18And you two should treat him with a little respect!
01:20Go podcast with him and take him out and show him a nice fucking time!
01:24If I could be up, if I could be vertical on two fucking legs right now, we would be having a fucking time of our lives!
01:31You!
01:32Did you drink all the wine time?
01:33You!
01:34You!
01:35Fuck you!
01:36Fuck you!
01:37Fuck you!
01:38Fuck you!
01:39Fuck you!
01:40Fuck you!
01:41Fuck you!
01:42Fuck you!
01:43Fuck you!
01:44Fuck you too!
01:45Fuck me!
01:46Fuck you!
01:47Hey, Tucker!
01:48Fuck you too!
01:49Don't you dare ever say fuck him!
01:51Fuck me!
01:52Fuck you!
01:53Fuck me!
01:54Fuck you!
01:55Oh!
01:56You okay?
01:57No!
01:58I'm sick!
01:59You got a puke, Bucket?
02:01I don't think I can do this right now, Rock!
02:03My asshole's on fire, dude!
02:05Oh shit, man!
02:06It's coming down your leg!
02:21Youonfant!
02:23It's a wildcat Guerrero!
02:25I feel his soul in the end living!
02:26I'm on fire.
02:28I've been worried about him on fire, but in a strange day....
02:30If thisopic says no, No it's going down toesenia the country!
02:32You got a puke!
02:33You get a...
02:34I'm substituting!
02:35Thisparent resides is going to walk us together!
02:36We'll call you...
02:37Whatases it!
02:39I found you?
02:41I found you....
02:42I'm searching for all kinds of guides!
02:43I'm history!
02:44So manyziękuję Complete devrait ster inkles!
02:46Yeah!
02:47Lesson Sioux operation is over!
02:48You paid me!
02:49I'm here you happy-go-lucky hillbilly horse fuckers, and I'm not doing shit till somebody
03:11gives me an envelope full of cash and something to snort.
03:19So we're back in the Tokyo Dome Hotel, and to be honest I don't really know who this Sex Ferguson
03:37character is, but he seems like a pretty nice guy.
03:41Let's talk some shop!
03:43Ladies and gentlemen, Talkin' Shop fans, worldwide, live, all over the world.
03:48Welcome to the worst podcast on planet Earth, with our special guest, Sex Ferguson.
03:55I looked in my pocket fuckin' Webster's and I don't see pod cast anywhere.
04:01For my money, a pod, it seems, would be something to haul drugs in.
04:05Makes perfect sense, but I hear cast, I think a fuckin' fishing show.
04:08That's why I'm talkin' about goddamn royalties.
04:10Someone's gotta explain what the fuck this is, and why they do it in Japan.
04:14I know we won the fuckin' war, but I'm not so certain, because Inoki fuckin' shot on me in 71.
04:20So when I'm around here, I always like to make sure I take extra fuckin' precautions, in case shit goes awry!
04:27Well, how you fuckin' doin' motherfucker, shake hands like a man!
04:34Owww!
04:36Owww!
04:37Kayfabe is fuckin' dead around here, buddy.
04:39You're not Buzz Sawyer, you just look like him!
04:42That Carl kid, I thought he was kiddin' to Buzz Sawyer, but he ain't.
04:45The more I look at him, he reminds me of a fuckin' turtle, and I can't figure out if it's
04:49his fucking eyes are so close together or because he's like the thing dangling out of my ass when
04:54I got a shit like a fucking turtle head poking out buddy. Give me my gimmicks you piece of shit and
05:00you. What are you doing? Shut up a second. You. How you doing brother? Good. I talk like this. I work like this.
05:10Listen. I know all about you. I heard about you. I didn't need to hear about you. I knew your fucking
05:16daddy. Big Pedro. Intercontinental champion. It's good to see you little Pedro. Am I telling you
05:21something you didn't know? That little mocha feller that's kin to Pedro. He's Pedro's illegitimate
05:25fucking son. Let me tell you something about Pedro. Pedro could drink a fifth of scotch whiskey
05:31once at 9 a.m. again at 10 30 and still be fucking at noon. If I'm going to be on any kind of television
05:38I need royalties and residuals so I hope you have that in fucking writing or in an envelope to where
05:43I can take the cash and buy things to fuck me up. This shit's about over unless I get my god damn
05:50motherfucking pay. You motherfucker don't act like you haven't watched me since you was shitting in
05:56britches and your mama didn't suck me off behind a fucking food line. Don't know who the fuck I am.
06:01I am a goddamn legend and I would think that a couple of dipshits like you two would show me
06:06a little respect. I hope these motherfuckers have a car service, a van, a rickshaw, whatever the fuck
06:12they use over here because I actually got to work in less than one fucking hour and I need time to set
06:17up my gimmick table. Cheers you dumb sons of bitches. Hold the fucking phone here cowboy
06:23motherfucking Troy. Let's hey you fucking little room. Take that to the head. Take that. What are you fucking
06:29saying? Beer up. Beer up. Beer up. Beer up buddy. Hell yeah. That's what the fuck I'm talking about.
06:36Drink motherfucker. Come on. You know what? Pedro used to fucking throw back fucking sassafras like
06:41there was no fucking tomorrow. Today is your fucking day. And next we're moving on to brown
06:46liquor. I'm talking about whiskey. That little kid can't drink for fucking shit. Pedro would
06:51be disappointed in you. Here you go. Let's get you a Vicodin C. Hell yeah. This podcast is pretty damn
07:00cool man. Not? Oh hell no. This guy's a fucking idiot. Damn. Hey take it easy little dude. Hey
07:10hey hey hey hey hey. Hey spade motherfucker. What'd you just give him? I gave him a little
07:15a room of a bike ski. Jesus. I like him. That was terrible. Lord are you okay? Oh no. Drink
07:27drink drink. Take it easy. Don't be a fucking mark. Don't be a fucking mark. Drink. Drink.
07:33Drink. Drink. Fuck yeah buddy. Fuck yeah buddy. I don't feel like that. Oh shit. Hey Rock.
07:50Hey. Come on. Hey. Hey. Hey. Dude. Pay for that shit. What? Fucking work here. Stand up a second.
07:56Let me see how you are here. Come on Sex Ferguson. Relax Buzz Sawyer Jr. Lock up with me.
08:07I can't work with you. God damn it. Apparently Sex Ferguson has a book in. Apparently Sex Ferguson
08:13has a book in. What? Apparently Sex Ferguson has a book in. What? Sex Ferguson ain't got a
08:19booking with fucking anybody. Apparently he has a booking. He ain't got a booking with anybody.
08:24Fine. Sex. Take your booking. Rocky and I are going to go drinking and talk and have
08:29a normal conversation unlike this horrible fucking podcast we just did.
08:34Where are you?
08:51Who are you Batman's sweet win? Huh. I don't want to be sick please. Bye.
08:53You alright?
08:55Who?
08:57Who?
08:59You gotta have food on me.
09:01Who, you alright?
09:03Hell yeah. We had a good damn time.
09:05No damn sex, Ferguson, man.
09:07We had a good ol' fuckin' time, man.
09:09Hell yeah.
09:11I already get you.
09:13Thanks, bro.
09:15See ya, baby.
09:17You leave my door unlocked?
09:19No, man. You dumb motherfucker, are you sure?
09:21No, I didn't leave the door unlocked, man.
09:23Fuck.
09:25Oh, shit.
09:27How the fuck
09:29is this no-career-having piece of shit
09:33in my fucking room again?
09:35Daddy-O-Silver!
09:37Jesus Christ, that's whiskey.
09:39Is that your mini?
09:41Oh, yeah.
09:43Man, it's pretty damn cool how much
09:45Sex Ferguson drinks, man.
09:47That's more than gallows.
09:49More than gun.
09:51More than me?
09:53Sex is back!
09:55Oh, God.
09:57Jesus Christ.
09:59This smells like shit.
10:01Ow!
10:03Let's go find some fucking pussy.
10:05This motherfucker cleaned out my entire fucking mini bar.
10:09He's been drinking the blood of Christ all fucking day.
10:11This son of a bitch is fucked up.
10:15Hey, stop jacking off, motherfucker.
10:17Oh, that's disgusting.
10:18Get him down.
10:19Get him down.
10:20I don't fucking play, motherfuckers.
10:23The only time I do, it's with my dick.
10:25And I pretend like it's Wendy Ricker jacking me off.
10:27Jesus.
10:28You just killed the blood.
10:29Oh, my God.
10:30Let me take that.
10:31Let me get that, brother.
10:32What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
10:33No, Jesus.
10:34Jesus.
10:35Just shh.
10:36Baron Von Ratzky.
10:37Love Emmerle Brothers.
10:38Larry Goodman.
10:39Mike Johnson of Dirt Sheet fame.
10:41Thank God he's fucking out.
10:42Jesus Christ.
10:43Oh, man.
10:44The big guy's a little tired.
10:45I know he's had a long day.
10:47He had a booking.
10:48He had a booking.
10:49He had a booking.
10:50He had a booking.
10:51You know he's in theixa.
10:52He's in the middle of a club.
10:53He's in the middle of a club.
10:54Yeah, he's in the middle of a club.
10:56I know.
10:57I know.
10:58I know he's in the middle of a club.
10:59He's in the middle of a club.
11:01He's in the middle of a club.
11:02I know I'm in the middle of a club.
11:03What's going on?
11:04I know he's had a long day, he had a booking, and he just came in all the way from the U.S.
11:08I mean, I hope he sleeps well.
11:12Oh my God.
11:12Thank God.
11:14You better give me some gimmicks.
11:19I am the Lord of the Brotherness.
11:21What the hell?
11:31I got you right here, you dumb motherfucker.
11:34Give me more gimmicks.
11:41Suppository style.
11:43Jesus Christ, don't put it in your asshole.
11:45Oh.
11:45Oh.
11:46Oh.
11:47Oh.
11:48Oh.
11:52Oh, dude, what's going on bro, what's he doing man, is he being exercised, is he an exorcist
12:20an exorcism?
12:23Shabashimbe, walk up with me.
12:31Melatonin stuff is pretty strong man, machine guns asleep, sex is asleep, I guess maybe I should take one.
12:40Nah, I'm just kidding, let's play some ribs.
12:44Get that damn me walk off my damn property man.
13:05Jesus Christ.
13:08Oh, fuck.
13:15God damn.
13:23Oh, shit.
13:28Oh, God.
13:30Hey man, did you put that damn water beside my damn bed?
13:35That's my damn property.
13:38Oh, yeah.
13:47Oh, jeez.
13:48Oh, it's better.
13:49What the fuck?
14:03God damn it.
14:06Here's the problem.
14:07Sex Ferguson is still in my fucking room.
14:11Melatonin, just like my wife.
14:13You fucked me again.
14:16Sex, you dumb son of a bitch.
14:17Wake up.
14:18Sex.
14:20God, you fucking kidding me.
14:21You got two words for you.
14:22Wake up.
14:23Sex.
14:24Sex, you dumb son of a bitch.
14:26Sex.
14:28Sex.
14:30Sex.
14:32Sex.
14:33God damn it.
14:34My ass better call somebody.
14:38Rock.
14:39Little hoot.
14:40Hey, I need your help.
14:41Sex has knocked the fuck out.
14:42I need you down here now.
14:43I need your help.
14:44He won't get the fuck up.
14:45He's not waking up.
14:46Big problem.
14:48I am too famous for this bullshit.
14:51Gallows.
14:53This is your fault, motherfucker.
14:55Bro.
14:56What the fuck is wrong, man?
14:57I don't know if this motherfucker won't...
14:58Are you drinking a fucking Zima?
14:59I like the way it tastes.
15:00Pussy.
15:01Zima, motherfucker?
15:02That's the kind of shit I used to feed chicks in fucking college.
15:05Pussy.
15:06Fuck.
15:08Bro, I know your heartbeat.
15:09Come on.
15:10Check his pulse.
15:11No.
15:12No pulse.
15:13Are you fucking ribbing me?
15:14Wait, hold on, hold on.
15:15I know what to do.
15:16Oh, shit.
15:17That's one.
15:18That's one.
15:19One.
15:20Two.
15:21Two.
15:22Two.
15:23One.
15:24Two.
15:25Three.
15:26Two.
15:27Two.
15:28Two.
15:29Three.
15:30Two.
15:31Two.
15:32Two.
15:33Two.
15:34Two.
15:35Two.
15:36Two.
15:37Two.
15:38Two.
15:39Come on, Sex.
15:42Come on, Sex. Pull through, you dumb son of a bitch.
15:46Wake up!
15:47This is the one that counts.
15:51Oh, shit.
15:55Bro.
15:57Sex is fucking dead.
15:58Listen, I want wine bottles up my ass and somebody biting my face during sexual intercourse, but I don't do that.
16:14The motherfucker put melatonin up his asshole.
16:18This one's on him.
16:19Yeah, that's what I said. Sex Ferguson is fucking dead.
16:29That can't be right. I just talked to him.
16:33No!
16:36Sex!
16:39Oh, no.
16:41I knew his wife, Margaret.
16:44And I remember that time I gave him a blowjob at the National Fairgrounds.
16:50Hey, did you guys hear that Sex Ferguson died?
16:55Who gives a fuck?
17:04And then that one time that I saw him blowing Carlos at the National Fairgrounds.
17:10Oh, my God.
17:11Oh, my God.
17:19Motherfucker.
17:22He still owed me forty fucking dollars.
17:27We can't just leave him there.
17:28I took the son of a bitch in the river.
17:30Tamagawa River.
17:31Tokyo Dome River.
17:32Who gives a fuck?
17:32Get him out of my room.
17:33I need a drink, who?
17:34Can you pass me my Zima?
17:35Yeah, there you go, pussy.
17:38Who still drinks Zima, anyway?
17:40Get the big dumb son of a bitch out of my room.
17:41What are we gonna do with him?
17:44I guess we marry him?
17:46I'm not going to Japanese jail or-
17:47Sex Ferguson is fucking dead.
17:49Like, so fucking what?
17:50But get him out of my room, little hoot.
17:52I'm not going to Japanese jail.
17:54They beat the fuck out of people in there.
17:57Maybe we can bury him under the dome or something.
18:01Sounds good.
18:03Let's get rid of the dumb son of a bitch.
18:05Come on.
18:08What?
18:09We can't do that, man.
18:10What are you talking about?
18:11You give a fuck about it?
18:12We gotta have a funeral service for this guy.
18:14I mean, he's an American staple.
18:16An American hero.
18:17Long live sex.
18:20I have to let the boys say goodbye to him.
18:22You mean like a fucking funeral?
18:24Like a memorial, at least.
18:25Something.
18:26Does that mean we get to drink more beer?
18:28Yeah, of course.
18:29Funeral it is, man.
18:37A funeral?
18:38Sounds good to me as long as there's more beer
18:41and more melatonin.
18:44It's just so surreal that sex is gone.
18:47I mean, he was my best friend.
18:50I mean, we bonded so much over that one podcast.
18:53He's the only guy that I let go over 30 minutes.
18:5631 minutes and 42 seconds.
18:58That's what sex meant to me.
19:00We gotta clean the motherfucker up somehow.
19:02You wanted to have a service, dickhead.
19:04That looks too overweight, doesn't it?
19:06I guess I don't know.
19:07Look at his leg.
19:08Hold on, hold on.
19:09He's starting to stink.
19:10We should cover him.
19:11He's always stunk.
19:12That dumb motherfucker.
19:13Yeah, come on.
19:14We should, we should.
19:15Alright.
19:16Alright.
19:17Alright.
19:18Mouth is wide open.
19:19Jesus.
19:23There, right there.
19:24Okay.
19:25Alright, hold on.
19:26It's good.
19:27It's fine.
19:28It's fine.
19:29Who gives a shit?
19:30He's fine.
19:31So the chapel will be here soon anyway.
19:32Come on.
19:33He looks so peaceful, doesn't he?
19:34Yeah, he's dead, thank God.
19:36So our good friend Vegas here at the podcast, he suggested that we could find a chaplain
19:40of sorts on a certain website called Craigslist.
19:45He frequents it quite often for a male searching females and something about a casual encounter.
19:53I don't really understand.
19:54It sounds boring.
19:55UFOs and all that stuff to me.
19:57I don't know.
19:58We are gathered here today, brothers.
20:02Come on, man.
20:03It's a memorial service.
20:05Sorry.
20:06Anyway, we are...
20:11Thank you, Carl.
20:12We are gathered here today in respects of a man, a good...
20:18Well, he wasn't exactly a good man, but he was a man.
20:24He was a human being.
20:26He was...
20:27He was...
20:28He was...
20:29He was...
20:30He was...
20:31He was...
20:32He was...
20:33He was...
20:34He was...
20:35Come on, man.
20:36You can't be snorting melatonin.
20:37This is a memorial.
20:38Sex was a...
20:39He had many children and most of them were illegitimate.
20:41Oh, great.
20:42The chaplain's here.
20:43Fantastic.
20:44We started without you, but...
20:45Please.
20:46Welcome.
20:47Welcome.
20:48Welcome.
20:49Welcome.
20:50Welcome.
20:51Welcome.
20:52Welcome.
20:53Welcome.
20:54Welcome.
20:55Welcome.
20:57Jesus.
20:58Welcome.
20:59Welcome.
21:00Please.
21:01Welcome.
21:02Please.
21:03Welcome.
21:04Jesus.
21:06Welcome.
21:07Welcome.
21:08Welcome.
21:09Welcome.
21:10Welcome.
21:11Welcome.
21:12Welcome.
21:13Welcome.
21:14Welcome.
21:15Welcome.
21:16Welcome.
21:17Welcome.
21:18Welcome.
21:19Welcome.
21:20Welcome.
21:21Welcome.
21:22Welcome.
21:23Welcome.
21:24Welcome.
21:25Welcome.
21:26Welcome.
21:27Welcome.
21:28Welcome.
21:29Welcome.
21:30Welcome.
21:31Welcome.
21:32Welcome.
21:33Welcome.
21:34Now it looks right. I've prepared a song.
21:41Is this real? Jesus Christ.
21:45Amazing sex. What a guy you were.
21:56The way you'd snort your coke.
22:04Man, when Rocky started singing that beautiful song.
22:10No more you could work. You were the lightest of the bunch.
22:19And now we leave you to work in heaven.
22:31Thank you all for coming.
22:34If anyone would like to say anything, maybe Fale.
22:38That's it?
22:48Oh, yeah.
22:50Fucking deep, Fale.
22:52Can we wrap this motherfucker up?
22:55Yeah, fuck this. It sucks.
22:58I guess, yeah.
23:00That's it.
23:08Yeah, I took his fucking smoke.
23:11They guys don't fucking smoke.
23:13Well, we had the funeral.
23:15So I guess there's just one thing left to do.
23:19Let's party.
23:21Sex would've wanted it that way.
23:23Woo-hoo! Fiesta!
23:28No, hold on. He can't feel anything.
23:31He's dead. Rocky, watch.
23:34Come on, brother.
23:36He can't feel it.
23:38He can't feel it.
23:39He can't feel anything.
23:43He can't feel anything.
23:44Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
23:46Oh, oh, oh.
23:47Oh, oh, oh.
23:55He can't feel it.
23:56Come on.
23:57Come on.
23:58Come on.
23:59Come on.
24:00This motherfucker's like,
24:01I'm fucking fucking nice.
24:02Please.
24:03Come on.
24:04Come on.
24:05Come on.
24:06Come on.
24:07Come on.
24:08Come on.
24:09Come on.
24:18That machine gun hit that motherfucker in the balls a hundred times.
24:23He must be dead.
24:25I'm gonna shit on him.
24:27I'm gonna shit on him.
24:40It was a great fucking party.
24:42It's exactly what Sex Ferguson would've wanted.
24:44We had beer, wine,
24:46You know what?
24:47What?
24:48Let's get a conga line going.
24:49Hey, hey, hey.
24:50No, no, no, no.
24:51Damn, damn, damn.
24:52I think it's become something.
24:53Oh, no.
24:54Work on his sex.
24:55Work?
24:56Melatonin.
24:57Ham.
24:58Work with me.
24:59Oh, no.
25:00Oh, no.
25:01Oh, no.
25:02Leave the way, son.
25:03I'm not used to this.
25:16But these white boys know how to party when somebody dies.
25:27Oh, Turok.
25:28Fuck, man.
25:29Jesus Christ, you're gonna kill me.
25:32Man, that was a hell of a party, man.
25:34I wish you knew how to say no, pal.
25:36Oh, Jesus.
25:37Fuck me.
25:38Oh, I have been so bad.
25:41It was a hell of a fucking party.
25:43Sex Ferguson's funeral.
25:47My fist hurts.
25:48It feels like I boxed somebody's fucking brains in last night.
25:52I don't know what happened.
26:03Rock?
26:05Yeah?
26:06Is sex in the bathroom still?
26:10No?
26:15Bro, sex is gone.
26:17We lost sex's body.
26:21How could we lose sex's body?
26:24Oh, my God.
26:25Oh, my God.
26:26Oh, my God.
26:27We're gonna go to jail.
26:28I don't wanna go to jail.
26:29Dude, relax.
26:30You sound like a little bitch.
26:32Can we cut this part?
26:33You sound like an FBI.
26:34I shoot.
26:35I'm so angry.
26:36I feel scared.
26:37I'm sorry.
26:38I'm so sorry.
26:39I'm so sorry.
26:40I've got a cell phone.
26:41I'm so sorry.
26:42I'm so sorry.
26:43I'm so sorry.
26:44It's a little bit more than you can, man.
26:45I'm so sorry.
26:46I Philippines.
26:47I'm a little bit more than you.
26:48I'm so sorry.
26:49I'm sorry.
26:50I'm so sorry.
26:51I'm so sorry.
26:52I'm so sorry.
26:54I shit on a dead man's body.
27:06Now there's a dead man walking around somewhere with my famous DNA shit all over him.
27:12Yup.
27:13I'm going to Japanese jail.
27:18Chaplin?
27:29Chaplin?
27:34Chaplin?
27:42Chaplin?
27:45Chaplin?
27:46Hello?
27:47Chaplin?
27:48You were there?
27:49You were there the day we partied and beat the shit out of Sex Ferguson's dead body.
27:52But guess what?
27:53I've got some sins I have to confess.
27:57I've been snorting chopped up melatonin out of strippers assholes for over a decade.
28:02I know.
28:03I know.
28:04That's probably not the only sin I need to confess to.
28:06But we lost Sex Ferguson's dead carcass.
28:11I shit on him in the bathtub.
28:13I went to sleep.
28:14I don't know what happened.
28:16Can you tell me?
28:17Do you know what happened?
28:18You're the only one that I think was sober.
28:21What you seek.
28:22What's in there?
28:23What the hell does that mean?
28:24Oh dude, I don't know.
28:25I'm on drugs right now.
28:26What kind?
28:27Markers.
28:28There's a conga life.
28:29So do you actually bend the stripper over, put the marker in her asshole, pop the cap off?
28:34And then sniff it?
28:35I don't really get it.
28:36I'm confused.
28:37Dude.
28:38What?
28:39What?
28:40What the hell does that mean?
28:41What the hell does that mean?
28:42Oh dude, I don't know.
28:43I'm on drugs right now.
28:44What kind?
28:45Markers.
28:46There's a conga life.
28:49So do you actually bend the stripper over, put the marker in her asshole, pop the cap off,
28:58and then sniff it?
28:59I don't really get it.
29:01I'm confused.
29:02Dude.
29:03What?
29:04It has nothing to do with the marker.
29:06The conga line.
29:07Oh, the conga line.
29:09So strippers are in a conga line, then they bend over, then we put the markers in their asshole,
29:18and then we sniff them?
29:20Jesus Christ.
29:21What?
29:33This is exactly where the chaplain led me.
29:36This is where the conga line ended.
29:38God damn it.
29:40Oh God.
29:44Fuck yeah buddy.
29:48Sex!
29:52Where are you, sex?
29:54Fuck yeah buddy.
29:57Where are you, sex?
30:00Where are you?!
30:02So I went to the spot where the conga lined into, just like the chaplain said, fucking
30:16no sex Ferguson, but I found his stupid fucking glasses, like, he's gone, he's dead, but we
30:23lost his body. I'm just going to turn myself in tomorrow, and I guess I'm going to go to
30:27Japanese jail, and I'm going to be the most famous and the best looking guy in there.
30:32Like, I'm going to get my fucking ass kicked every single day, fucking karate style, by
30:37those motherfuckers, man. It's fine. It's one last good night's sleep. I'm going to put
30:43some melatonin up my asshole, suppository style. Go to bed.
30:47You killed me, you fucking stupid mark. Now I'm going to hurt your fucking dreams.
31:07You can't kill sex, motherfucker! Oh, yeah!
31:15You can't kill the good brother with the golden neck, because if you do, he'll live in your
31:26dreams, he'll fuck your rides, he'll snort your coke, he'll eat your pills, he'll drink your
31:29booze, and he'll be there doing it all night long.
31:31Oh, fuck. What a nightmare.
31:50What the fuck?
32:05Pepe, pepe, pepe!
32:07Pepe, pepe, pepe救hi!
32:10Chaplin!
32:12Let me get a little whiff of that buttfucker.
32:14Of course I'm alive!
32:17Dr. Hrashy
32:19prescribed me some of them
32:21goddamn horse tranquilizers.
32:23Stuck one in my ass, one in the main vein
32:25of my arm, and one in the big one that runs
32:28through my dick, which is now black,
32:30blue, and purple for a sort of different reasons
32:32and I think it's because of all the pussy
32:34I must have been rockin' and sockin' like the goddamn robots last night.
32:44I ain't dead.
32:45You can't kill me, motherfucker.
32:46I want to thank you, though, very much for bringing a pail of water to a dumpster.
32:50A dumpster in which you drug my hillbilly ass out of
32:53and proceeded to dump water all over my body,
32:56which was covered from my eyebrows to my toes in human shit.
33:00That's right.
33:01I have been shit on, buddy.
33:04It's not the first time, though.
33:05You see, I've been pronounced legally dead on three separate occasions.
33:09Once in Tulsa in the spring of 71,
33:12one time in Costa Rica in the early 90s,
33:15and in Puerto Rico.
33:17And, Carlos, I think you fuckin' know why.
33:19Buddy!
33:20Somas can't kill sex, nothin' can.
33:23I gotta tell you this right now, though.
33:24I've been pissin' blood like it's fire out the end of a witch's nostril,
33:29but it's comin' out the pee hole of my cock.
33:32Not the first time!
33:34And you paid for sex last night.
33:35Thank you, honey!
33:36Mwah!
33:37He's alive!
33:41He's alive!
33:43Sex fuckin' Ferguson is alive!
33:45Today was a good day, just like fuckin' Ice Cube said.
33:49It's a good day.
33:50I'm not gonna go to Japanese jail.
33:51I'm not gonna get my ass beat or my ass fucked.
33:54I'm takin' some melatonin, it's impository style,
33:58and I'm goin' back to fuckin' sleep.
34:13You're finally ready...
34:15to let the torture begin!
34:18Begin!
34:20Is this a fuckin' dream?
34:21No!
34:25Felicia...
34:27Let this...
34:29...and try...
34:35Noooooooo!
34:38Frisk Cocktochers, now Six Ferguson, this white boy humor sucks man, fuck this shit.
35:08It's the hoots, hoots, hoots, it's talk and shop and movie.
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