- 5 months ago
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00:00The day I turned 16, I got my driver's license and suddenly the world was full of possibilities.
00:10I was free. Suddenly I could tear around the countryside feeling the horsepower rumbling beneath my feet.
00:17I could be out on the open road with nothing but my own dreams to guide me.
00:21I could let the wind of adventure blow back my hair as the beckoning horizon pulled me ever onward.
00:27That sounds like fun.
00:28Yes, it does. But instead I'm just driving my little sister to and from soccer practice in my mother's minivan.
00:35Kevin, you're not just driving me to soccer. I have flute lessons tomorrow, remember? And on Friday you're taking me to Kaylee's birthday party.
00:43This is my life. A chauffeur to a seven-year-old.
00:46And then Saturday I've got ballet.
00:48I could be out there manifesting my own destiny, but instead I'm spinning my wheels and going nowhere.
00:53Just like Hamster. But if I hold him up like this, he thinks he's running super fast.
00:57Look at him go!
00:59I can't believe I'm having Hamster in.
01:01No, no, no, no, no, no!
01:04Ugh!
01:07Why are we stopped?
01:10Can he fix it? Can he fix it? Can he fix it? Can he fix it?
01:13Well, not really, but I figured if there's a loose wire or something...
01:16Greetings, Earth!
01:17Whoa!
01:17Greetings!
01:18The two of you have been chosen.
01:21Chosen?
01:21Chosen for what?
01:22Chosen to be heroes. We will now bestow upon you powers unimaginable!
01:28Oh, like the power to fly?
01:31Okay, I guess some of them are imaginable, but most of them are beyond any...
01:35How about super strength?
01:37Yeah, you know what? We're going to just start bestowing now before you guess them all.
01:42Whoa!
01:44Oh, I can't believe this.
01:46I know! This is awesome, right?
01:49Use your powers wisely.
01:51Okay!
01:51Use them for good.
01:54Bye, Mr. Alien.
01:57Oh my gosh, superheroes!
01:58Super heroes!
01:59This is it! This is my destiny!
02:02They said the power of flight, right?
02:04Yep!
02:04Then let's go!
02:06Up, up, and away!
02:08Maybe I'm not doing it right.
02:09It's easy! Just lift your feet!
02:11Wait, where'd you get the outfit?
02:12I have no idea!
02:14And where's mine?
02:15Just lift your feet!
02:20It's not as easy as you make it look.
02:22Gretel, don't do that!
02:24Sorry!
02:24Okay.
02:29Maybe you're not using your muscles or something.
02:32I'm using my muscles, it's just not...
02:34What is going on?
02:37They said the two of us were supposed to get powers, not just you.
02:40They specifically said the two of us.
02:52Oh, I get it!
02:53The two of us!
02:55They weren't even talking to you!
02:56Yep, this is my life.
03:04Who's the improbable two-o that you've heard about?
03:08Faster than a scooter, stronger than metal.
03:11Who's a little girl and a domesticated rodent?
03:15Who's still standing when you see the dust settle?
03:18It's Hamster!
03:19It's Hamster and Gretel!
03:21If they can't do it, then nobody can.
03:25Hamster!
03:26It's Hamster and Gretel!
03:28There's also Kevin in the minivan.
03:31This is an Action News Special Report.
03:36This is Veronica Hill on the scene at Cliffside Park where a kitten has fallen into a well.
03:41Rescue efforts have been complicated when this three-ton boulder fell, covering the opening.
03:46The boulder came from the installation art piece, clown balancing boulder while eating
03:49a ham sandwich.
03:50Once hailed as a brilliant satire on the complexities of modern life in the age of unicycles and fast
03:55food, the piece is now just another grim reminder that balancing a boulder is often fraught with
04:00peril.
04:01With me, I have Phil Pollard, who has been leading the rescue efforts.
04:04Phil, has this boulder cut off the supply of air to the actual kitten?
04:07Oh, no, there's a runoff drainage system that empties out the side of the cliff.
04:11There should be adequate...
04:12Yes!
04:13I believe we have a live shot of that drainage pipe.
04:19Is that pipe a possible avenue of rescue?
04:22Well, no, it's inaccessible sticking out of the side of a cliff like that.
04:25Plus, it's really small.
04:26Only a small animal or maybe like a seven-year-old...
04:29Wait, there seems to be some action out of the pipe.
04:32Okay, I found the pipe!
04:33Great, that's the opening that...
04:34It's made of cement!
04:36Yeah, that's it.
04:36It's in the side of a cliff!
04:38Exactly, that's where you want to go...
04:39I don't see any other pipes!
04:41Yes, Gretel, that is the one.
04:43Now, I need you to...
04:44Oh, hamster's going in!
04:45It must be the right one!
04:46The hamster she trusts.
04:48Okay, now, I'm going to need you to make those specific turns we talked about.
04:51I'm just going to go straight.
04:52You know I can punch through walls, right?
04:54Yes, I know, but I need you to follow my directions because we don't want to bust through a water main and flood the well.
04:59Yeah, but you got me making all these twists and turns.
05:01How am I supposed to remember all that?
05:03It's not that complicated.
05:04It's just three rights and a left.
05:06Three rights is a left.
05:07I think I'm just going to go straight.
05:09Gretel, which way is hamster going?
05:12Hamster's following your twisty, turny thing, but I bet I can beat him there.
05:15Whoa, punch!
05:16Okay, you beat me, but only by a little bit.
05:25Look, I made my own tunnel, and I barely even nicked the water main.
05:30Gretel!
05:30We don't know if she can breathe underwater yet!
05:33If you are just joining us, hamster and Gretel have entered the pipe and are no doubt making their way to the kitten as we speak.
05:38But we have just received reports that the water main has burst in the water main.
05:48Ladies and gentlemen, once again, hamster and Gretel have saved the day.
05:51Gretel, what did you do when the water main burst?
05:53Oh, that was easy.
05:54Hancher just drank all the water.
05:56Wow, he must have been very thirsty.
06:05Well, at least now I don't have to take a shower.
06:08And the van's almost dry.
06:12So when do we get to be real superheroes?
06:15What do you mean?
06:15I mean, when do we get to fight crime and whoop up on the bad guys?
06:19What, you want me to send you into a bank robbery?
06:21No, that's way too dangerous.
06:22Come on, I bet I'm bulletproof.
06:24We are not testing that out.
06:26Okay, it's dry.
06:28Now you're just showing off.
06:31Come on, I gotta get you to that mall appearance.
06:35That's delightful.
06:36Okay, let's open it up to some questions from the audience.
06:39Go ahead, young lady.
06:40Yeah, this is a question for Gretel.
06:42My best friend looks just like you.
06:44And her name is Gretel, just like you.
06:47And she has a hamster named Hamster, just like you.
06:51Is there a question here?
06:53Because we do have a line.
06:54Oh, right.
06:55Sorry.
06:55I just want to know, can you sign this t-shirt for her?
06:58Oh, sure, Lonnie.
06:59Yes, she is going to lo- wait.
07:01How do you know my name?
07:03Um, superpowers?
07:06That is awesome!
07:09All right, next question!
07:10So, Gretel still hasn't told Lonnie?
07:13I told her she couldn't tell anyone.
07:15I only told you because I knew you would never talk about it to anybody.
07:18Right, because of my disdain for people.
07:21Comic shop?
07:22Yeah, I think we got time.
07:24Kind of random that you still read superhero stories when you're actually living one.
07:28I'm not living one.
07:29Gretel is living one.
07:30I'm superhero adjacent.
07:32Speaking of which, she wants to fight actual crime now.
07:36So?
07:36I put the police scanner app on your phone.
07:38I know, but it's just too dangerous.
07:40To who?
07:41You know she can lift a school bus over her head.
07:43Yes, I was there.
07:45But she's still my little sister.
07:46Wait, I know why you still like to come here.
07:49Twilly.
07:50Shh!
07:51I can't believe that THE hamster and Gretel are in this mall.
07:55And I am stuck working.
07:57You're that?
07:58You got an in.
07:59Tell her that you're superhero adjacent.
08:01Not sure my masculinity could survive being second banana to my little sister.
08:05Oh, it's so cute you think you have masculinity.
08:08And Vengeance Gatherer number 36.
08:11Nice.
08:12Yeah, I like to read those.
08:14I figured you're buying it at all.
08:17Twilly, is that a Duck Boy shirt?
08:19Oh yeah, I loved their last album.
08:22I'm gonna watch the live broadcasts of the concert tonight, along with everyone else in town.
08:26I tried to get tickets, but they were sold out.
08:29You know, my cousin is their guitars.
08:31No way.
08:32I bet you got tickets.
08:33I did, actually.
08:35Two of them.
08:36But as luck would have it, I can't go.
08:38I was gonna give my buddy Kevin here one of them.
08:41Would you like the other one?
08:43You guys could go together.
08:46Wait, what just happened?
08:48You have a date with Twilly.
08:50You're welcome.
08:51Did you guys see that?
08:53Lonnie was there, and I had to sign a t-shirt to myself.
08:56So meta.
08:57What's wrong with Kevin?
08:59I don't know.
08:59Puberty?
09:01And then I actually got to meet her.
09:03She was super nice, and she looks even more like you in person.
09:06Thanks, Lonnie.
09:07I love it.
09:08You want to stay over and watch a movie?
09:09Sure.
09:10Where's Kevin?
09:10He's at a concert.
09:12With a girl.
09:13Ooh!
09:16Should I just wait for her outside?
09:18She's got her own ticket.
09:20She might already be inside waiting for you.
09:22Oh, right.
09:22She could already be inside.
09:23How will I know?
09:24Well, you might have to go inside.
09:26Should I go in, then?
09:27I should go in.
09:28Ugh.
09:28It's like I'm you and you're Gretel.
09:30I think I'm gonna go in.
09:31Wait.
09:31My police scanner app is going off.
09:33What's it say?
09:34Oh, let's see.
09:37This is a message for the...
09:40Wait.
09:40Why is my face dark?
09:41I'm just gonna...
09:42No.
09:42No.
09:43That's the light in the backdrop.
09:44Okay.
09:45This is...
09:46This is the...
09:47This must be it here.
09:49There!
09:51This is a message for the so-called superheroes, Hamster and Gretel.
09:56Let's see if you're hero enough to save the city from my army of evil robots.
10:02That's right.
10:03Come on down and test your mettle against me, Professor Exclamation.
10:09See, I've got an exclamation point on my hat.
10:14Uh, wait.
10:15Was that an actual supervillain?
10:16This is dangerous.
10:17Do not tell Gretel.
10:18She's gonna want to fight him.
10:19Too late.
10:20I already put the same app on her phone.
10:22What?
10:27Uh...
10:28I have to go to the bathroom.
10:30You want me to pause it?
10:31No, I've seen this one.
10:32The hamster needs to go to the bathroom, too.
10:50Ah, welcome, hamster and Gretel.
10:53Welcome to your doom.
10:56Guys, hurry.
10:57Get in.
10:58Kevin, what are you doing?
10:59I'm getting you out of here.
11:00This is too dangerous.
11:01Wait, aren't you supposed to be on a date?
11:02Yes, and if we leave right now, I can get back to it.
11:05Get in.
11:05You're embarrassing me in front of the supervillain.
11:07I'm sorry.
11:08Are we interrupting something?
11:10Can you just give us a minute?
11:12We can't leave now.
11:13This guy's trying to take over City Hall.
11:14And that's a job for the police.
11:17Where are the police?
11:18Oh, that's the reason I chose tonight.
11:20The mayor gave everyone the night off to watch the live broadcast of the Duck Boys concert.
11:25Frankly, I'm surprised you're not watching it.
11:27Yeah, so am I.
11:28You don't believe in me.
11:29What?
11:29I believe in you.
11:31Can we just get in the van?
11:32You think I can't take care of myself?
11:34Gretel, I'm trying to...
11:34You're...
11:35You're my little sister.
11:36I mean, I know you've got these powers now, but...
11:39But it's always been my job to look out for you.
11:42I'm your big brother.
11:44Aw, Kevin.
11:46You're a great big brother.
11:47You've been looking out for me my whole life.
11:50But things are different now.
11:52Me and Hamster, we've got this.
11:54You're right.
11:58You've got this.
11:59Go get him, guys.
12:00I'm getting out of your way!
12:01Finally.
12:02Yeah, you're about to get your butt kicked.
12:05Yes, by all means, take your time.
12:11Robot punch!
12:12Robot punch!
12:28Hey.
12:29Nothing.
12:30Gretel's out there with Hamster whooping up on the bad guys.
12:33I guess she doesn't need me anymore.
12:34Well, all baby birds leave the nest, blah, blah, blah.
12:37You know the concert's starting right now, right?
12:39Oh, yeah.
12:39I'm heading over.
12:43Kevin!
12:44Help us!
12:47Gretel!
12:49Ah-ha!
12:49The robots were just a distraction so I could capture you.
12:53We kick it out!
12:54Yes!
12:55This energy cage is unbreakable even by the two of you.
12:58It draws power directly from the city's power grid.
13:01So, as long as this city has power, you are my prisoners.
13:06Kevin!
13:07Help us!
13:07But what can I do?
13:09Think of something!
13:10You're the brains!
13:12She's right.
13:12I've got to think of something.
13:13I've got to...
13:14That's right, ladies and gentlemen.
13:16Tonight is the television event you have been waiting for.
13:20The Duck Boys live in concert.
13:22Hey, Fred.
13:23Your cousin is the Duck Boys guitarist, right?
13:25Yeah, why?
13:26I need a favor.
13:28Okay, they're going to let you make the announcement right after this song.
13:30But you don't have a lot of time.
13:32Do you know what you're going to say?
13:33Yeah, I got it all written down.
13:34All right, you're good to go.
13:35Wait.
13:35Quillie's out there.
13:37How am I going to explain this?
13:39Here, you won't have to.
13:40Now you're just a member of the band.
13:41Get on out there.
13:42Hello?
13:52Hello?
13:54If you're watching at home, there's something we, the Duck Boys, need you to do.
14:00Turn on your washing machine.
14:02Turn on your blender, too.
14:06Plug in your toaster and your hot plate, your electric barbecue.
14:09Turn on your stereo and all the lights and crank the AC.
14:13Use the hairdryer and your vacuum simultaneously.
14:17Forget all about conservational compliance.
14:20What we want is to turn on every electrical appliance.
14:24Tomorrow we'll be talking about that crazy thing we did
14:27when we all got together just to overload the grid.
14:31Keep it going.
14:32That's what you heard as a kid.
14:34Plug it in and turn it on.
14:36Thanks, Fred.
14:37Let's hope that worked.
14:38Turn it on so everyone can hear this song.
14:42Whatever you got, just plug it in and turn it on.
14:45We're good all about conservational compliance.
14:48We want you to turn on every electrical appliance.
14:52Tomorrow we'll be talking about that crazy thing we did
14:56when we all got together just to overload the grid.
15:00You're not getting away with this, you know.
15:02Kevin will think of something and then you'll be in trouble.
15:04So let me get this straight.
15:06The person I should be worried about is the one with no superpowers whatsoever.
15:10That's right.
15:11And why is that?
15:12Because big brothers always take care of their little sisters.
15:15Is that so?
15:16Yep.
15:16Even when they can take care of themselves.
15:19Oh, whatever.
15:21What are you going to do?
15:22The only thing special about you is your sister and her pet.
15:26And I've got them both trapped.
15:27In a trap that feeds off the city's power grid.
15:30Yes, I heard.
15:31But you know what happens when everybody uses their appliances at the same time?
15:35It's called...
15:38A blackout.
15:41And that shuts off power to your little trap.
15:44Bad guy punch!
15:46Thanks, Kevin.
15:47You really are a great big brother.
15:50And you are a super little sister.
16:16The Dylan.
16:16The Dylan.
16:19The Dylan.
16:21That pelvic life is a big poster.
16:21The Dylan.
16:22The Dylan.
16:22This fifth is aETH.
16:24The Dylan.
16:30The Dylan.
16:32storm.
16:33The Dylan.