- 2 months ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:02CastingWords
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00:01:08But we live in a permissive society.
00:01:10Not on this street, we don't.
00:01:12Everybody's at it.
00:01:14Not with me, they're not.
00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it.
00:01:18Not this one.
00:01:20I'm the silent majority.
00:01:22It's only manners these days.
00:01:24Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands.
00:01:26God is long.
00:01:29Jesus.
00:01:31Jesus.
00:01:32We've never seen him in real life though.
00:01:58No, he's picturing the papers.
00:02:01Oh, come on, Sandra, let's go.
00:02:03No, I don't want to.
00:02:04I want to wait.
00:02:05I want to be standing out here.
00:02:05It's stupid.
00:02:06But he might come in a minute.
00:02:08Somebody waited ages yesterday and he never turned up there.
00:02:10But that was yesterday.
00:02:11He might be here today.
00:02:12I want to be really done standing here.
00:02:14Come on.
00:02:14I want to be supposed to be going shopping.
00:02:16But he might come.
00:02:17Please, let's go.
00:02:22Oh, no.
00:02:23I told you so, didn't I?
00:02:25I feel a right twit now.
00:02:27I don't fancy yours.
00:02:30Which is mine?
00:02:32Any except the blonde.
00:02:34Oh, good.
00:02:36They were being stared at.
00:02:38Where?
00:02:41Don't fancy yours.
00:02:43Which is mine.
00:02:47Any except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs?
00:02:52Thanks.
00:02:54Neither do I.
00:02:56Fancy the one with the twitch.
00:03:00About as much as Mountsy-Tung's granddad, with all due respect.
00:03:04To his granddad.
00:03:06Ask him if they do a turn.
00:03:08You.
00:03:09I thought we were giving sex up.
00:03:11There's a protest at never getting any.
00:03:14Ignore them.
00:03:22Hi.
00:03:24Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:27Hi.
00:03:33Peace, ma'am.
00:03:34Were you, er, hoping to see Georgie Best?
00:03:37He's in Mallorca.
00:03:39Come on, then.
00:03:41We only get an hour for lunch.
00:03:44It's a discotheque in Albert Square.
00:03:52Come on.
00:03:54I thought we were going for tights.
00:03:58It's our lunch hour.
00:04:01It's ours.
00:04:02We were going for lunch.
00:04:03Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Mallorca?
00:04:12It's one place I've never been.
00:04:15Pardon?
00:04:17I'm, er, Geoffrey.
00:04:20I don't happen to be attached.
00:04:22I'm Beryl.
00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised.
00:04:25Don't you worry.
00:04:43Love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine.
00:04:53Love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine.
00:04:54Every single time.
00:04:55Every single time.
00:04:57Love and rainy weather.
00:05:00First you're up there on another plane, and then you're nowhere.
00:05:08And the tears are raining down.
00:05:12It's a run around.
00:05:15It's a run around.
00:05:16It's a run around.
00:05:17It's a run around.
00:05:19Love and rainy weather.
00:05:22Sure can get you down.
00:05:27Now, going twisting tonight, then?
00:05:38That's the modern name for it, isn't it?
00:05:40What?
00:05:41Cutting a rug.
00:05:44Pardon?
00:05:45Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:47It's called grooving nowadays.
00:05:48Grooving and or freaking.
00:05:50Right?
00:05:51What I'm not doing tonight.
00:05:53Right.
00:05:54Right on.
00:05:56You're staying in tonight, then?
00:05:57Tonight, tomorrow night, every night.
00:06:01They might sell me overcoat.
00:06:03Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:06:06Really.
00:06:06Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:06:09Hustle.
00:06:11It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:06:13We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this finny haddy cost.
00:06:18They do their own thing.
00:06:19The usual 1,300 weight.
00:06:22Yes, please.
00:06:24Now, that's the new world that we work for.
00:06:26And fought for.
00:06:28Full page advert for contraception.
00:06:31It's his birthright.
00:06:35I'm not hungry.
00:06:37What's that supposed to mean?
00:06:39It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry.
00:06:42I enjoy staying in Chattingham an evening.
00:07:01I find it fantastically enjoyable.
00:07:06No, really.
00:07:08I really do.
00:07:09Some people don't.
00:07:12I do.
00:07:14Beryl, please take my word for it.
00:07:16Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell and invite you to the pictures.
00:07:20Paul McCartney who?
00:07:20He doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night.
00:07:24And please don't say Paul McCartney who.
00:07:27I sacrifice too much for your six-old levels.
00:07:30You were terrific in the pictures.
00:07:34I never touched you.
00:07:35Terrific self-control.
00:07:37Mind you, just a weekend I do with you, Paul.
00:08:05Not a dirty weekend.
00:08:08A disgusting one.
00:08:13Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:08:24Have you always been insatiable?
00:08:28It's not my fault.
00:08:30It's just that I don't like blondes.
00:08:35It's psychosomatic.
00:08:40I'm sorry.
00:08:45Ah.
00:08:46Ah.
00:09:03Oh, Sandra.
00:09:05You're almost blonde in this light.
00:09:07What's wrong?
00:09:14Just being brave.
00:09:16What about?
00:09:17Ending it all.
00:09:20Before we hurt each other too much.
00:09:23It's our first date.
00:09:24I've probably wasted your entire evening, haven't I?
00:09:31Not yet.
00:09:32Not if your parents aren't back till midnight.
00:09:37Don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing?
00:09:41Straight from Stanley Matthews to Bridget Bardot you went.
00:09:45Overnight.
00:09:46That was when you were too young for this sort of thing.
00:09:49It's artistic, Mother.
00:09:51Like your Tutankhamen butter dish.
00:10:03What?
00:10:04Got it.
00:10:05Got what?
00:10:06You now ask if I never want to see you again.
00:10:09I say I do.
00:10:10You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like,
00:10:14How about Sunday, half seven, outside Central Library?
00:10:17No, I don't.
00:10:19Tomorrow, half seven, outside Central Library.
00:10:23Then when I say okay, does your zip miraculously undo?
00:10:27It does not.
00:10:29I thought it did.
00:10:31Not till you've unfastened the press, stud.
00:10:33I can see her doing your ironing, and cooking, and cleaning.
00:10:39You wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime.
00:10:41I don't intend to marry her, Mother.
00:10:44In case it interferes with my career.
00:10:46We're just good friends.
00:10:48Good night.
00:10:49Miss Bardot.
00:11:05Marry me.
00:11:09You know what they say?
00:11:12Once you've had a Manchester lad, you never touch anything else.
00:11:14It's about time and all.
00:11:31Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:32Peace, man.
00:11:36Did you have a good time, Miss Knight?
00:11:38Great.
00:11:38Is this you?
00:11:40Satisfied.
00:11:41I'll say it in for a change.
00:11:44Did you get much?
00:11:47Did you?
00:11:52Did you know that raping Princess Anne was a capital offence?
00:11:55Not that I have done.
00:11:57They'd paid him for a change instead.
00:12:14Ticket.
00:12:19I ain't got me ticket.
00:12:20We're late already.
00:12:23See you behind the goal, then.
00:12:26Aye!
00:12:26Aye!
00:12:26Aye!
00:12:28Aye!
00:12:28Aye!
00:12:30Aye!
00:12:30Aye!
00:12:31Aye!
00:12:32Aye!
00:12:32Aye!
00:12:33Aye!
00:12:34Aye!
00:12:34Aye!
00:12:35Aye!
00:12:36Aye!
00:12:36Aye!
00:12:37Aye!
00:12:37Aye!
00:12:38Aye!
00:12:39Aye!
00:12:40Aye!
00:12:41Aye!
00:12:42Aye!
00:12:43Aye!
00:12:44Aye!
00:12:45Aye!
00:12:46Aye!
00:12:47Aye!
00:12:48Aye!
00:12:49Aye!
00:12:50Aye!
00:12:51Aye!
00:12:52Aye!
00:12:53Aye!
00:12:54Aye!
00:12:55Aye!
00:12:56Aye!
00:12:57Aye!
00:12:58Aye!
00:12:59Aye!
00:13:00Aye!
00:13:01Aye!
00:13:02Aye!
00:13:03Aye!
00:13:04Aye!
00:13:05Aye!
00:13:06Aye!
00:13:07Aye!
00:13:08Different girl every night. It's all the type.
00:13:13Probably an omen seeing her before the match.
00:13:17Bet we lose 3-1.
00:13:20Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.
00:13:23At least I've got me proud.
00:13:25Oh, hello.
00:13:27Oh, hi.
00:13:29Hi.
00:13:30Didn't see you.
00:13:31No, Normie.
00:13:33Are you going that way?
00:13:35Yeah. Not specially, no.
00:13:37Are you going that?
00:13:39Yeah, well, um, no.
00:13:42I was sort of...
00:13:43Going to the football match?
00:13:45Are you?
00:13:46Shopping.
00:13:53I'm probably going to the pictures tonight.
00:13:55I am.
00:13:56Which?
00:13:57Which are you?
00:13:58Any.
00:13:59I am.
00:14:00See you then.
00:14:01Tonight?
00:14:02Pardon?
00:14:03Oh, I...
00:14:04All right then.
00:14:05Right.
00:14:06Super socks.
00:14:07Did you see that?
00:14:08They're all on drugs.
00:14:09A lot of them.
00:14:10Oh, no.
00:14:11Oh, no!
00:14:12Oh, no.
00:14:13No.
00:14:14Can you see things?
00:14:15Oh, no.
00:14:16Well, you have to get me eyes,
00:14:17for sure.
00:14:18Yeah, but I am, no, no.
00:14:19I am.
00:14:20Oh, no.
00:14:21You have to get me eyes.
00:14:23Everybody types in eyes.
00:14:24No.
00:14:25I am.
00:14:26and drugs, a lot of them.
00:14:45Did he score?
00:14:47Losing, 3-1.
00:14:56Excuse me.
00:15:16Excuse me, I...
00:15:21I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters.
00:15:24Ah.
00:15:28Hi.
00:15:30Hello, mate.
00:15:31Oh, um...
00:15:32Peace man.
00:15:33Surprise, surprise.
00:15:34Surprise.
00:15:35Been anywhere controversial?
00:15:37Pictures.
00:15:38The boyfriend.
00:15:39She's slim.
00:15:40I'm just going to the...
00:15:41Oh, I'll come with you.
00:15:46Are you and Beryl, um...
00:15:47You know.
00:15:51You know.
00:15:52Oh.
00:16:02Would you, uh...
00:16:04What do you sort of reckon?
00:16:05She's a...
00:16:08Fair sort of bird.
00:16:09Sort of.
00:16:10She's all right.
00:16:11I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:12Geoffrey.
00:16:13She's a bird.
00:16:14You having a coffee with us?
00:16:15No thanks, kid.
00:16:16Neville's ravenous.
00:16:17You've just eaten.
00:16:18Oh, of course, yeah.
00:16:19Sorry.
00:16:20You see.
00:16:21What I think was all this trying to do...
00:16:22By implication.
00:16:23Probably by implication.
00:16:24Was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgment.
00:16:25You see.
00:16:26Yes.
00:16:27Was he the errand boy?
00:16:28Was he the errand boy?
00:16:29Was who the errand boy?
00:16:30Ken Thingy.
00:16:31He directed it.
00:16:32Oh, yes.
00:16:33I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:16:34Yeah.
00:16:35No, no.
00:16:36What I thought Ken was always trying to do...
00:16:39By implication.
00:16:40Probably by implication.
00:16:42It was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgment.
00:16:46You see?
00:16:48Yes.
00:16:50Was he the errand boy?
00:16:52Was who the errand boy?
00:16:53Ken Thingy.
00:16:55He directed it.
00:16:56Oh, yes.
00:16:59I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:17:02Probably.
00:17:06You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:17:10Well, probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:17:13It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:17:15And you talk to me the whole way, like a person.
00:17:21Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days.
00:17:24Sex?
00:17:25Marriage.
00:17:27Pardon?
00:17:28The number of boys that asked me to marry them.
00:17:31A couple of dates and pal they want to get married.
00:17:34I want to live a bit before I get married.
00:17:36I suppose I just don't have a hang-up about it.
00:17:40Get married?
00:17:41Hmm.
00:17:43No.
00:17:48Actually, I find girls, most girls that is, a bit obsessed these days.
00:17:54Not marriage.
00:17:56No.
00:17:57Sex.
00:17:58That's what I said.
00:17:59Oh.
00:18:00Well, I'm not like that.
00:18:01Not person-filmed motivated?
00:18:02No.
00:18:03No.
00:18:04No.
00:18:05No.
00:18:06No.
00:18:07Oh.
00:18:08Well, I'm not like that.
00:18:09Not person-filmed motivated?
00:18:10No.
00:18:11No.
00:18:13No.
00:18:15Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol?
00:18:28Ken Russell?
00:18:29Yeah.
00:18:30No.
00:18:31No.
00:18:32No.
00:18:37No.
00:18:38No.
00:18:39No.
00:18:40No.
00:18:41No.
00:18:42I won't come in, with it being our first date. No.
00:18:55Oh. Anywhere me mum's gone to bed, we'd be on our own.
00:18:59Is that a reason for me not coming in, though? Yes, Geoffrey.
00:19:03Oh.
00:19:12Nice house. Thank you.
00:19:1525-year mortgage.
00:19:22Well, thanks for seeing me home.
00:19:25Funny, isn't it?
00:19:28First date with someone.
00:19:31It always leads to one of three things.
00:19:34Either nothing...
00:19:36or something...
00:19:39or everything.
00:19:42Don't think about Percy Filth at this stage, Beryl.
00:19:45You're not.
00:19:47No, I'm not.
00:19:50Night-night. God bless.
00:20:03I won't give you my phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females.
00:20:07What is it?
00:20:09Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:11The easy way to remember it is the three and the two make five, which is two less than seven,
00:20:15then two fours, and half of four, which is two, and half of two, which is one.
00:20:18Um...
00:20:19But you mustn't ring me if you don't want.
00:20:21No.
00:20:22But you can if you do.
00:20:23Do you want me to?
00:20:24Not if you'd rather not.
00:20:26Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:28Good night.
00:20:29Good night.
00:20:30Good night.
00:20:31Good night.
00:20:32Good night.
00:20:34Good night.
00:20:36Good night.
00:20:45well hello mrs. Battersby. Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea.
00:21:04all of my past life flashed before me then can't be Mother's Day you'd have
00:21:13forgotten has there been any clips mom I want the benefit of your experience
00:21:21what do you think of Andy Warhol you see Jeffrey has this theory that by
00:21:26implication who's Jeffrey of course Jeffrey knows about these things oh
00:21:31these things everything who's Jeffrey it's fantastically intelligent see
00:21:37Jeffrey's idea Beryl who's Jeffrey oh no one no one special his name's Jeffrey
00:21:58how did this Beryl Bird turn out last night then what Beryl Bird I told him did she uh
00:22:05does she yell what wow she doesn't then you don't listen do you I said how about Sandra
00:22:20I've rather better things to do thank you
00:22:47said he was no one special got a phone here why they haven't have they do you want to get some
00:23:06nookie lined up or something if I did do you think I'd be playing dance with you two
00:23:10look are you fed up here are you we'll split after this game anything you say
00:23:17you can go for a few of the king's head great and that ends our probe well
00:23:23Monday tomorrow hallelujah I don't know what you're paying for that phone but
00:23:29whatever it is you're being done good night
00:23:59morning morning
00:24:01morning
00:24:02morning
00:24:06Chalton for Pope long may you reign
00:24:12amen
00:24:13what's going on pounds up again oh god today's special bloody travelers checks
00:24:22yeah suddenly everyone's going on holiday so close enjoy yourself while you're young
00:24:29why do we always do that 93 times a day we never see anything
00:24:51anything
00:24:58my typing not disturbing your singing I hope see Geoffrey on Sunday
00:25:20oh
00:25:22oh Geoffrey
00:25:23that Neville's the greatest
00:25:27is he dishy or is he dishy
00:25:31he never thought I'm considering packing Geoffrey in
00:25:38one day it was enough why he's cancer and I'm Libra
00:25:44it's that bad hopeless
00:25:46actually I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment
00:25:49five five which is which is three and two is five which is two less than seven which is oh I see the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza
00:25:53bank clocks your lot football supporters hippies
00:26:00oh my lot
00:26:02oh my lot
00:26:04at the third stroke it will be seven twenty-two and forty seconds
00:26:11it will be seven twenty-two and fifty seconds
00:26:13that's it then fate
00:26:15all over by seven twenty-three precisely
00:26:16that's it then fate all over by seven twenty-three precisely
00:26:22so what plenty more where she came from
00:26:29is that the speaking clock
00:26:31is that Beryl
00:26:32yes
00:26:37yes
00:26:38yes
00:26:39yes
00:26:41yes
00:26:42yes
00:26:43yeah
00:26:44and
00:26:45yes
00:26:46that's it then
00:26:47that's it then fate
00:26:49all over by seven twenty-three precisely
00:26:52Is that the speaking clock?
00:26:57Is that Geoffrey?
00:26:58Is that Beryl?
00:27:00Yes.
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02Hi.
00:27:05Hi.
00:27:22It's terrifically exciting, isn't it?
00:27:26Getting to know a person.
00:27:28Fantastic.
00:27:32I want to know all about you.
00:27:35That's what it's all about.
00:27:39For example, with things in common already.
00:27:42Definitely.
00:27:45Like what?
00:27:49We're enormously fond of animals.
00:27:52Right.
00:27:55And we're both from Manchester.
00:28:00Have you ever been abroad?
00:28:02No.
00:28:04Have you?
00:28:05No.
00:28:07Unless you count Istanbul.
00:28:09Istanbul?
00:28:10Was it beyond belief?
00:28:12I don't know.
00:28:13I was only three.
00:28:19Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:22Sometimes.
00:28:24I do.
00:28:26What now?
00:28:29No.
00:28:30Just sometimes.
00:28:32Yes, I do.
00:28:36Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:42In getting to know a person.
00:28:44Hmm.
00:28:44He was live and easy-limbed, his stride quietly casual, his eyes clear and confident, and
00:28:57his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed, assured, lopsided grin.
00:29:03You know, Geoffrey, you have a really lopsided grin.
00:29:10Really?
00:29:11You know, lopsided.
00:29:15I don't think I have.
00:29:17It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:21See?
00:29:23Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:26He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:30It must be marvellous being a man.
00:29:34It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:35Men can do anything.
00:29:37Conquer Everest.
00:29:39Do heart transplants.
00:29:40Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:43Anything!
00:29:44Geoffrey, N-O spells no.
00:29:56It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:58Read any women's magazine.
00:30:00It's good for theirs, too.
00:30:02Not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:30:05I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:30:07All Saturdays.
00:30:10Beryl.
00:30:14Oh, Beryl.
00:30:16Oh, Geoffrey Bobble's bumble.
00:30:18Oh, Beryl.
00:30:19Oh, Geoffrey.
00:30:21Oh, Beryl!
00:30:23Are you all right?
00:30:23What exactly happened?
00:30:24Don't tell me.
00:30:26I just heard a sharp achak of dramatic irony.
00:30:28Pardon?
00:30:34Come back.
00:30:35They're better.
00:30:36It's better.
00:30:37I'm OK.
00:30:41I told you, it's going to pour.
00:30:43It's not.
00:30:52It's only the angels crying.
00:30:55I know how they feel.
00:30:58Well, don't blame me.
00:30:59I haven't done anything.
00:31:00That's true.
00:31:03That's not true, Beryl.
00:31:04I have apologised.
00:31:06I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you.
00:31:09Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer.
00:31:11It must be a bad line.
00:31:13I can't hear you.
00:31:14You'd better apologise again.
00:31:17I apologise again.
00:31:20Gosh, this lousy line.
00:31:23I wonder if Geoffrey would like to come to tea on Sunday.
00:31:28Pardon?
00:31:29Pardon?
00:31:30Is that who I think it is?
00:31:34No, dear.
00:31:46Well, isn't this nice?
00:31:51Sardine sandwich.
00:31:53Is it all sardine?
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:54She's got her own trawler.
00:32:03Isn't it awful?
00:32:05What?
00:32:06I was speaking to Geoffrey.
00:32:08What's happening in the world?
00:32:09I blame the politicians.
00:32:11What for?
00:32:12For what's happening in the world.
00:32:14I'm talking to her.
00:32:21I can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:23Tasty.
00:32:26Very in oil.
00:32:27Nice in oil.
00:32:28She's got a bad leg.
00:32:31The bread's extremely wholesome.
00:32:34Why, after this little baker down the road,
00:32:35he does something with the bleach.
00:32:40Yes.
00:32:40Yes.
00:32:40I can't do long conversations about sardines so much as
00:32:49your mind goes blank.
00:32:54Start thinking about life after death.
00:33:01Oh, that Neville, honestly.
00:33:03Number of hearts he must have broken.
00:33:05Every girl in Manchester, nearly.
00:33:09Geoffrey definitely has.
00:33:10Probably even more.
00:33:13Air hostesses.
00:33:16All sorts.
00:33:18Tell me about your terrible past, Geoffrey.
00:33:20I haven't had one yet.
00:33:22White man speak with forked tongue.
00:33:25Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future.
00:33:33Wow, is that the time?
00:33:34At this moment in time.
00:33:36What have I done?
00:33:38Is Neville the insanely jealous type?
00:33:40Right in the slightest.
00:33:42You're lucky.
00:33:43Why, it's Geoffrey.
00:33:46Wow.
00:33:47You're not jealous of all my ex-flames, are you?
00:33:50Of course not.
00:33:50Why should I be?
00:33:52Please stop interrogating me, Geoffrey.
00:33:53Forget it.
00:33:56That's all in the past.
00:33:58Then, nothing to be jealous about.
00:34:03Who needs drama?
00:34:04So I shouted back at her.
00:34:08No shop assistant shouts at me, I shouted.
00:34:10In the end, Neville nearly bolted me for swearing.
00:34:14He thumped you.
00:34:16Walloped you on.
00:34:18No.
00:34:19I said nearly.
00:34:20You never thumped me, will you?
00:34:25Like Neville does Sandra.
00:34:27She adores it.
00:34:29Of course not.
00:34:31No.
00:34:34Geoffrey, Percy Filth isn't the only thing in life.
00:34:37It isn't even one of the things in mine.
00:34:38He used to talk to me.
00:34:40All right.
00:34:41Let's talk.
00:34:41Geoffrey, I've just had the most super idea.
00:34:49Why?
00:34:49Is your mum going out?
00:34:53May as well pack in, really.
00:34:57Why?
00:34:59Why not?
00:35:03Good thinking.
00:35:03Thanks for a stimulating few weeks.
00:35:12You too.
00:35:13It was real.
00:35:14It's psychedelic.
00:35:15You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:35:17I was scratched anyway.
00:35:20It's been a gasp.
00:35:21Groovy.
00:35:23I won't wave from the window.
00:35:25No, I won't look back anyway.
00:35:27Good.
00:35:28It's been a gasp.
00:35:29You've said that once.
00:35:33There's plenty more fish in the sea.
00:35:45About three very lonely sardines.
00:35:50Mother, please don't try raising one eyebrow at me.
00:35:53You know you can't do it.
00:36:00You'll never thought of me, will you, Geoffrey?
00:36:02Ow!
00:36:04Beryl, I just had the most super idea.
00:36:07Are we going to put it in?
00:36:08No.
00:36:09We're going to pack it in.
00:36:10Don't say that.
00:36:11Please don't say that.
00:36:12That.
00:36:15Sandra.
00:36:16Sandra.
00:36:18You're Sandra.
00:36:19Mine.
00:36:23Two months.
00:36:24Two months, nine days.
00:36:28Is she positive?
00:36:29The test was.
00:36:30What are you going to do?
00:36:33She'll think of something.
00:36:35Sandra, it's stupendous.
00:36:40Congratulations.
00:36:40I hope you'll both be very happy.
00:36:42Oh, thanks, kid.
00:36:44Sandra, I don't know how you do it.
00:36:48Often.
00:36:48Often.
00:36:48Good.
00:37:16John for Pope.
00:37:42Long may reign.
00:37:46Aren't you, er...
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:53And you're, er...
00:37:56That's right.
00:37:58Going somewhere incredible.
00:38:00I'm meeting my parents.
00:38:02Taking them to see Fiddler on the roof.
00:38:04That's pretty incredible.
00:38:06Your mummy and daddy.
00:38:08Er...
00:38:10Oh hell no, that's tomorrow.
00:38:12If I'm in the mood.
00:38:16Where you are.
00:38:18Depends where you take me.
00:38:20All I was saying about your friend with the glasses...
00:38:32Roland.
00:38:33Roland.
00:38:34Is that I found him intellectually unaware and psychologically incredibly boring.
00:38:38It's not bad at snooker.
00:38:40And how are you and little Beryl?
00:38:44Didn't she tell you?
00:38:46I don't work there anymore.
00:38:48I packed her in.
00:38:58Did she turn you off?
00:39:00Beryl?
00:39:01Her.
00:39:06I haven't really looked.
00:39:08You've seen one.
00:39:09You've seen one.
00:39:10You've seen them all.
00:39:13Not quite all.
00:39:14I'll go and get me coat.
00:39:24Must be my birthday.
00:39:26You've seen one.
00:39:28Boys aren't the only thing in life, Beryl.
00:39:31I do wish you'd find one.
00:39:37They aren't all after Percy, Filth.
00:39:39Yes, they are.
00:39:41Mmm.
00:39:42Oh, you were terrific on the bus.
00:39:45Was I?
00:39:46Mmm.
00:39:47Terrific self-control.
00:39:48Joan of Arc never married, yet she led a full and happy life.
00:39:49Or am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:50Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.
00:39:51I happen to be interested in having early nights and writing poetry in bed with my Moe felt-tip pen.
00:40:05It's through a night of ink.
00:40:06I used it for my laundry list.
00:40:08My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.
00:40:12Mmm.
00:40:13Mmm.
00:40:14Mmm, please.
00:40:15Mmm.
00:40:16Don't.
00:40:17Please.
00:40:18You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.
00:40:23Well, let's go inside, then.
00:40:25Mmm.
00:40:26Smooth-talking bastard.
00:40:33It is me birthday.
00:40:36What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?
00:40:39I don't believe that question.
00:40:41You used to be crazy about him.
00:40:44I was 11 years old.
00:40:46He used to let me choke on his tortoise.
00:40:49Hmm, he was misunderstood.
00:40:50See you next time.
00:40:51He was Sherlock Holmes.
00:40:52I am joking.
00:40:53Not sure.
00:40:54Do you know his répondre in meternally?
00:40:55Well, he wasltjon tahina.
00:40:56Oh.
00:40:57Sorry, my ham.
00:40:58Come on behalf of appendix.
00:40:59Before всары SELOL to fu, leave his dick he was 약간 row mostly.
00:41:00I'm convinced be on this morning.
00:41:02You truly are quite closely.
00:41:03He's a little achtergrant house.
00:41:04But you are not stopping him.
00:41:05Yes sir.
00:41:07Meritus?
00:41:08Not更氣.
00:41:09Mortician says.
00:41:10what's your name again what's yours rock that's not your real name no Stephen
00:41:27when I first met you in the street I thought just a quiet drink and a chat shows you the art of
00:41:44conversation ain't dead don't move a muscle however gorgeous
00:41:57testing testing Jeffrey Milleup returns to the day I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself
00:42:27I'm fed up who are you who are you what you fed up about teachers don't have to do homework
00:42:53no they just mark it anyone can mark it they've got the answers
00:43:00do you know it's after two o'clock what's he doing here then
00:43:09well this is your uncle Stephen this is my revolting brother Jeremy
00:43:19how do you do don't my mum and dad know he's here Jeremy bed I could always wake him up and tell him
00:43:28Jeremy little boys need sleep
00:43:33even big astronauts do you know where babies come from
00:43:39do you say no no I do say yes shall I tell you he knows the man has this male organ and some blood
00:43:51cells and erectile glands and there's these 500 million spermatozoas in these testes that he has
00:43:57well and they go through his male organ into the female uterus that the lady has
00:44:02who told you that then they go to the fallopian tubes after that one of them fertilizes with the
00:44:08female egg the others don't bother anyway that's what you have to do then you have a baby
00:44:15did they teach you that at school they do woodwork in the next class
00:44:20people can only make babies at certain times of the year but animals like dogs and cats and giraffes I think
00:44:28do it all the time
00:44:29no that's people
00:44:34what is
00:44:36well people do it all the time
00:44:41whenever they feel like it
00:44:46in the next class you can do metal work if you don't like woodwork
00:44:53good night Jeremy
00:44:5625p
00:44:5850
00:45:0050
00:45:0250
00:45:03good night uncle Stephen
00:45:13in the morning a friend of Jeremy's he's going now
00:45:41good night love
00:45:44good night love
00:45:48we would have done that wouldn't we
00:45:49and how
00:45:50you can't win them all can you
00:45:55anyway do you good going without for a change
00:45:58still there's always another day
00:46:05tomorrow
00:46:07tomorrow's another day
00:46:09shh
00:46:11not unless you happen to be in Plymouth
00:46:13where
00:46:15I'm joining the wrens for three years
00:46:17what wrens?
00:46:19the Royal Navy's wrens
00:46:20what wrens?
00:46:21the Royal Navy's wrens
00:46:26this time tomorrow I'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors
00:46:30hope I like it
00:46:32well thanks for nearly everything
00:46:39we definitely would have done wouldn't we
00:46:42well obviously
00:46:43well we
00:46:44we're as good as dead in a way really
00:46:46almost
00:46:47just keep telling yourself and we will have
00:46:50only better
00:46:51good night love
00:46:53try a barrel
00:47:16morning previous generation
00:47:18what's for breakfast?
00:47:31you knew it was your mother's birthday
00:47:33now what we'd like to know
00:47:34is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof
00:47:37I'm sorry mum
00:47:38I'll take you out another night something cropped up
00:47:41like what?
00:47:43dad
00:47:44you understand
00:47:45I don't Geoffrey
00:47:48well you always say you do
00:47:50Geoffrey you're at it every night
00:47:53yes dad
00:47:54and we don't complain
00:47:55no dad
00:47:56but last night was different
00:47:58I knew you'd understand
00:48:13The
00:48:29Charlton for pope
00:48:30on me a rain
00:48:31Amen
00:48:32what's going on?
00:48:34pounds down again
00:48:35up and down
00:48:36like a bear of knickers
00:48:38you should know
00:48:39or me
00:48:40or me not me what a night wow a lot including action replays in slow motion
00:48:57hey lads i picked up a bit of spare last night who didn't no it's true
00:49:03yes jeffrey it is yes jeffrey
00:49:10bloody yes poor jeffrey beryl please it's neville's engagement party as well he had to invite him
00:49:22he'll see me it's cruel i'll see other girls i shan't take him back sandra
00:49:30i shan't it's been two weeks he may have got over you by now don't know much about men do you love
00:49:40it was doing him a kindness really finally splitting up
00:50:06he only had one ambition in life send my knickers to oxfam
00:50:16good job she hasn't joined the rent the entire navy had gone strike
00:50:21i expect he's sorry now i won't even consider taking him back if he isn't she might have changed of
00:50:29course if she has i might let her have the old orgy nine again he's got to accept we've finally
00:50:35split up otherwise i definitely won't take him back
00:50:38well i'm certainly not making the first move at least i've got me pride
00:50:48i left with beryl baby oh hi didn't see you no nor me
00:50:54and how's manchester city doing without me cheering them on then united we're winning every game now
00:50:59oh good and what's new with jeffrey then
00:51:10i asked you what was new
00:51:11and how's beryl baby getting on then jeffrey i'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me beryl baby
00:51:28it isn't like you say that again beryl baby
00:51:33what's your name handsome
00:51:36you'll laugh everybody laughs it's the story of my life
00:51:42you tell it like it is chuck
00:51:43she used to put them on an axe
00:51:53what do you care
00:51:56i don't have a baby
00:52:02is she going to get into bed with him now
00:52:06probably
00:52:10jeffrey always looks half asleep these days
00:52:13well it's very exhausting
00:52:17it is working in a bank
00:52:26i had this bad scene with this chick and decided to split
00:52:33so i cut off man like there's no tomorrow
00:52:39this cat gets it together where he's at
00:52:43it's a beautiful bag baby
00:52:47so if you want a piece of the action
00:52:50don't cool it
00:52:53dig
00:52:58sorry i no understand english
00:53:01i thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one
00:53:11she has
00:53:15and which is her husband
00:53:17neither
00:53:22it's warming up isn't it
00:53:24great beat
00:53:30great beat isn't it
00:53:34great to dance to
00:53:35do you agree
00:53:40do you agree that life's an onion
00:53:44if so what's death
00:53:46um
00:53:48a banana
00:53:50yes i expect it is when you think about it
00:53:55is it
00:53:56have you read schopenhauer's concept of existence
00:53:58um
00:54:00no
00:54:02but i've seen the film
00:54:05you married
00:54:08no
00:54:08grab yourself an adage
00:54:11marriage is a cabbage
00:54:12are you a poet
00:54:16never ask the questions ask the answers
00:54:19you are a poet
00:54:22to any manager marks and spencers
00:54:25good job
00:54:28i really dirt you
00:54:30now he's taking his clothes off
00:54:32what's on itv
00:54:36this
00:54:38what's on bbc
00:54:43cutting over
00:54:45what's that like
00:54:46this
00:54:49come on now
00:54:50you know that's not where it's at
00:54:52let's get this what's the word
00:54:55let's get it clear
00:54:57let's get down to the real nitty grittiesville okay
00:55:02oh
00:55:09women's lip is not about burning brass papers yeah
00:55:15what papers
00:55:17a marriage certificate a dog's license whatever you prefer to call it
00:55:21look let's be basic about this enid all girls want marriage and a wide wedding really basic
00:55:27you want to be really basic
00:55:29utterly basic balls
00:55:32grass
00:55:35enid when sandra says every girl she means most girls well like herself not me of course because i
00:55:42incredibly value my independence but most girls definitely want balls if you can't conduct an
00:55:49intelligent conversation without recourse i'm not recourse to anything i'm merely telling you what girls want
00:55:54what
00:55:55what
00:55:55bull
00:55:55oh
00:55:56oh
00:55:56would you please stop saying that
00:56:00you believe in free love right
00:56:02wrong i believe in free everything freedom from all male chauvinist pig domination
00:56:07honestly don't you understand excuse me you've got your hand on me
00:56:10excuse me excuse me excuse me excuse me you've got your hand on me
00:56:15no
00:56:15oh
00:56:17oh sorry wow man i'm sorry
00:56:20it's all right oh gee it's a pleasure
00:56:23grass jeffrey you've not to why not i said don't you not to smoke it
00:56:28we're as liberated as you enid we've equal importance as individuals neither of us is boss
00:56:46just doesn't arise we'll make some coffee kids yes you see what we believe now
00:56:55you see
00:56:58i can see there's only one way to get through
00:57:05you're doing lighting everybody's fire
00:57:11burn my bra
00:57:17right that's it finished the end full stop
00:57:22we've finally split up neville sandra wants you i should imagine
00:57:29sad isn't it
00:57:33pathetic
00:57:38well i can't follow plays these days
00:57:41it's just showing real life that's all
00:57:46it's just showing real life that's what you're going to do
00:57:48i once thought i'd found her
00:57:51perfect girl
00:57:54red hair
00:57:55not too skinny
00:57:58very gentle and shy
00:58:02passionate when roused
00:58:03you should pack me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick
00:58:09you're very sweet roland
00:58:12i've always thought you were
00:58:17did you know you're very nearly have a lopsided grin
00:58:19it's just i'm a bit tired no it's nice
00:58:34i don't think i've washed that one
00:58:49i don't know
00:58:50oh
00:58:54do you know
00:58:55what beryl she can ask me anything
00:58:59do you know where jeffrey's got to
00:59:04he's upstairs i think
00:59:05is it true they're dry on their own
00:59:16usually
00:59:22i hate to be any trouble but i think i'm dying
00:59:25you'll be all right honest
00:59:27she said i shouldn't smoke it
00:59:29who
00:59:31she said
00:59:35jeffrey
00:59:38jeffrey
00:59:45sorry
00:59:52jeffrey
00:59:55move up a bit jeffrey
00:59:59put your legs
01:00:01that's better
01:00:05it's because it's your first time isn't it
01:00:13call dr wiseberg quillmslow road
01:00:21it wasn't marijuana you know
01:00:25what was it then
01:00:28grass
01:00:30grass is marijuana
01:00:33this grass wasn't
01:00:36it was the real thing
01:00:39from the front lawn
01:00:40is that you beryl
01:00:55had a nice time
01:00:57even though it's three o'clock in the morning
01:01:00not that i mind
01:01:01if you've had a nice time
01:01:03even though i've been in bed since 10
01:01:05having a good night's worry
01:01:08did you see jeffrey
01:01:12that's good
01:01:13do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard
01:01:35i didn't try at all
01:01:39gave me to rest
01:01:44i'm right off birds
01:01:46i am
01:01:47i am
01:01:49for good
01:01:50good
01:01:51me too
01:01:53and me
01:01:55good morning your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel
01:02:17and hide
01:02:47Oh, Beryl.
01:03:09Beryl.
01:03:11Jeffrey.
01:03:16Geoffrey.
01:03:19Can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you?
01:03:24Oh, Beryl.
01:03:27Oh, Geoffrey.
01:03:30Oh, God.
01:03:42Hello.
01:03:44At this afternoon's meeting...
01:03:46Will you be required in the room again, sir?
01:03:48Because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival.
01:03:51You're a bugger.
01:03:54I don't know who he takes after.
01:03:57Hello?
01:03:58It's me.
01:03:59Who?
01:04:00My God, that's symbolic.
01:04:01Oh, hello, Beryl.
01:04:02I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again.
01:04:04If you have a phone or call, please don't, because I shan't be in.
01:04:06Tonight or any other night.
01:04:07Anyway, tonight I'm helping my mum at the school jumble sale.
01:04:14I'm helping my mum at the school jumble sale.
01:04:21I don't know.
01:04:22The people it's the old world.
01:04:47A small world.
01:04:52Good evening, Mrs. Battersby.
01:04:54I was looking for a nice lampshade.
01:04:57Oh?
01:04:59Probably this one.
01:05:01Definitely. Magic in satin.
01:05:03Oh, certainly, Geoffrey.
01:05:05Who's here in his nice crimson shoes?
01:05:11You'd like some nice fancy random paper, wouldn't you?
01:05:17I'm a child of the universe, Beryl. I have a right to be here.
01:05:20I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays. Try the co-op.
01:05:23Beryl, listen.
01:05:23If you can smell burning, it's just that the vicar's been around burning his jockstrap.
01:05:26Beryl, listen.
01:05:27Can I help you, madam?
01:05:27Have you got that in another colour?
01:05:30No, madam.
01:05:31I'll leave it then.
01:05:40Listen to what, for heaven's sake?
01:05:43Don't matter.
01:05:45What doesn't?
01:05:46It wouldn't, anyway.
01:05:47It wouldn't what?
01:05:49Go to the match with me on Saturday.
01:05:52Me?
01:05:53A football match?
01:05:55With 40,000 skinheads and you?
01:05:58Told you.
01:06:00Who are they playing?
01:06:06Huddersfield Town.
01:06:08In the co-op.
01:06:09I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield Town.
01:06:12The fourth from the bottom.
01:06:19Shows you.
01:06:23Away from home, they've won three, drawn five and lost 12.
01:06:29Drawn five.
01:06:30So, what do you think?
01:06:35I think I nearly love you.
01:06:39I think I nearly love you.
01:06:40In the co-op.
01:06:42It's all for you.
01:06:47The fourth round.
01:06:48It's just a fun book.
01:06:49It's just a fun book.
01:06:50It's just a fun book.
01:06:58Never mind.
01:06:59It's only a game.
01:07:00It's just a fun book.
01:07:00Never mind, it's only a game.
01:07:06I thought you said you nearly loved me.
01:07:13No!
01:07:15I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to Watch United.
01:07:21I may be wrong.
01:07:22Grace who?
01:07:24We live in a permissive society, Beryl.
01:07:26Read any colour supplement.
01:07:28Mother, you're supposed to be my mother.
01:07:30I am, love.
01:07:31And it wasn't through going to football matches.
01:07:34You are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time I stand up,
01:07:37even if he's only on the phone.
01:07:39Yes, well, boys are very safe.
01:07:42And I am your mother.
01:07:44That's what I said.
01:07:47I don't mean permissive permissive.
01:07:51Let's see.
01:07:52Romantic.
01:07:55Pardon?
01:07:56Kissing, cuddling.
01:07:58Things of that nature.
01:08:00Oh, we do.
01:08:03Do what?
01:08:04What you just said.
01:08:06Good.
01:08:07Not too much, I hope.
01:08:09Oh, God.
01:08:10Boys are very funny.
01:08:12They're novices compared to mothers.
01:08:13Did I tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains?
01:08:23Oh.
01:08:27Two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains.
01:08:29The cowgills.
01:08:30Fantastic.
01:08:31The cowgills.
01:08:33Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.
01:08:34Married couple.
01:08:35Newlyweds.
01:08:36Newlyweds.
01:08:37Not long married.
01:08:38Newlyweds.
01:08:39Newlyweds.
01:08:40Not long married.
01:08:41Newlyweds.
01:08:42Not long married.
01:08:43You go bald doing that.
01:08:44Doing what?
01:08:45Newlyweds.
01:08:46Newlyweds.
01:08:48Newlyweds.
01:08:49You go bald doing that.
01:08:50Doing what?
01:08:51Newlyweds.
01:08:52I'll tell you, 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains, living in sin.
01:09:10Can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it?
01:09:17If I said to you, do you think Cassius Clay would have beaten Rocky Marciano, would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married?
01:09:28I don't think so.
01:09:31A barrel would.
01:09:34Giving you a bad time, is she?
01:09:37Oh, I wouldn't say that.
01:09:42I haven't even mentioned the word.
01:09:45What word?
01:09:47Goodness me, a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone thinking she's automatically...
01:09:52I never said you were!
01:09:54You think it!
01:09:56All right, Geoffrey. I hereby promise never to utter the word again.
01:10:13Marriage?
01:10:14Never.
01:10:15Well, until I am. If I ever do. Which I fervently hope I never will.
01:10:23For someone who's not uttering something, when's your old pee coming out?
01:10:28No two people have a divine right to happiness, Geoffrey. You mustn't feel guilty about me.
01:10:36I'm sorry.
01:10:39No one can say you've completely ruined me life. Not yet.
01:10:45What are you staring at?
01:10:50Hello?
01:10:51You all right, son?
01:10:52Terrific.
01:10:53Why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat, then? Your mother's theory is you're overworking.
01:11:00Hmm.
01:11:01My theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird.
01:11:04Oh.
01:11:05What's your theory?
01:11:06Indigestion.
01:11:07Oh.
01:11:08What's yours, Sundance?
01:11:09Hasn't he said anything at all?
01:11:10He has said one thing.
01:11:11Oh, what's that?
01:11:12If God had meant sardines to be in oil, it had given them dipsticks. All right.
01:11:15The weeks and months dragged by, and with neither side willing to compromise, we still have deadlock.
01:11:33Her Majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma.
01:11:39Another wild night learning what NO spells and how many of us school pals are getting married.
01:11:43And what NO spells.
01:11:45And what NO spells.
01:11:47Great.
01:11:48I might as well go bald and open my own monastery.
01:11:51And so society, that's you and me, says end this dispute.
01:11:57End it now.
01:11:59Good night.
01:12:00Hear, hear.
01:12:02Good, weren't it?
01:12:03Terrific.
01:12:04Especially when he said good night.
01:12:07We're just enjoying ourselves.
01:12:09Having a good time.
01:12:11Just having fun.
01:12:13Being happy.
01:12:15Take two a day, after meals, and one if you find yourself crying your heart out again in the middle of a zebra crossing for no reason at all.
01:12:23You're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend?
01:12:28Absolutely positive.
01:12:30That was the first film we ever saw together.
01:12:35Make that three a day after meals.
01:12:39Look, Beryl, how's this for a peace plan?
01:12:51You join a marriage bureau, and I'll get a job on the stage twice nightly in Denmark.
01:12:57Then we'll both be happy.
01:12:58Right?
01:12:59Right.
01:13:00Good Jesus Christ, superstar.
01:13:01Amen.
01:13:02Oh, hell.
01:13:03Hands up again.
01:13:04See you tomorrow.
01:13:05Where do you think you're going?
01:13:07Geoffrey, I'll get the sack.
01:13:08It's important.
01:13:09What is?
01:13:10I keep asking you what is.
01:13:11What is?
01:13:12To be on our own.
01:13:13What?
01:13:14So as we can talk.
01:13:15What?
01:13:16I've had a whole speech worked out on the bus this morning.
01:13:21The only bit I can remember is, and that's what I think.
01:13:26Last night I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me.
01:13:42Grace who?
01:13:43Grace who?
01:13:44She was playing for United as well.
01:13:45Weird, isn't it?
01:13:46The main thing is, we do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.
01:13:49Oh, we do.
01:14:14who?
01:14:24see what I...
01:14:26go on. no you, mine wasn't important.
01:14:29no, mine wasn't.
01:14:41Beryl?
01:14:44are you...
01:14:47happy?
01:14:48course.
01:14:50very.
01:14:53I am.
01:14:54no one is every second of every minute of every day.
01:15:00no.
01:15:02I'm not.
01:15:07do you think it's because we love each other, do you think?
01:15:15probably.
01:15:17I've not actually said the words often.
01:15:20well, not in so many words.
01:15:22mostly in words to that effect.
01:15:24is there anything you don't love about me?
01:15:39no.
01:15:42I don't think so.
01:15:43honestly, no.
01:15:45nothing.
01:15:46if there is, you just tell me and I'll stop doing it.
01:15:48if there isn't anything.
01:15:49honest.
01:15:50good.
01:15:52it wouldn't upset me.
01:15:54it would just make me a better human being to deserve your love.
01:16:02like, you know, crimson shoes and bottle green socks.
01:16:07well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks, Beryl.
01:16:12if I did, I'd stop.
01:16:14to please you.
01:16:19I see.
01:16:20there's no need to be sensitive, Jeffrey.
01:16:22in a meaningful relationship, you must like even what you don't.
01:16:28your mother.
01:16:29pardon?
01:16:30i like your mother.
01:16:31please don't sulk, Jeffrey.
01:16:32handle lampshades.
01:16:33sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person.
01:16:36well, you ought to know.
01:16:37you've almost made it an art form.
01:16:39anything else at random?
01:16:40you've got 24 hours to spare.
01:16:41after all, i'm no bridgette bardot.
01:16:43according to reliable sources in san trapez, she's 105 next birthday.
01:16:46over 98% of the male population of manchester and salford can tell the difference between bridgette bardot and beryl battersby.
01:16:53ask any opinion poll.
01:16:54i'm much fatter for a start.
01:16:55you're not all that fat, beryl.
01:16:56i am.
01:16:57start slimming.
01:16:58men like something to get hold of.
01:16:59if they're allowed to get hold of it.
01:17:00you always succeed in getting back to percy filth in the end, don't you?
01:17:02i'm not.
01:17:03i'm not.
01:17:04i'm not.
01:17:05i'm not.
01:17:06i'm not.
01:17:07i'm not.
01:17:08i'm not.
01:17:09i'm not.
01:17:10i'm not.
01:17:11you know, i'm not.
01:17:12i'm not.
01:17:13i'm not.
01:17:14you always fail.
01:17:15do you know what some girls find extremely likeable?
01:17:18the extremely likeable way some boys stare at every girl they see.
01:17:22boys like it when girls tell them what n o spells.
01:17:25especially for the 600th time.
01:17:26that, they really dig.
01:17:28you never say dig.
01:17:30i did then.
01:17:32your passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about.
01:17:36that's really lovable.
01:17:38i never knew you thought that.
01:17:40that. Neither did I. I do now, though.
01:17:53I used to say, dig, before I met you.
01:17:59I used to say all sorts of things.
01:18:05There's a lot about me I can't even remember.
01:18:10There's a lot about me I can't even remember.
01:18:12I can't even remember.
01:18:28Thinking what I'm thinking?
01:18:32I think so.
01:18:34We just don't like each other.
01:18:36At all.
01:18:40Oh, goodbye, then.
01:18:52Good luck.
01:18:54Peace, ma'am.
01:18:58St Anne's Square.
01:19:00Where?
01:19:01St Anne's Square, please.
01:19:02So that just leaves a cot, two matinee coats, two romper suits.
01:19:18And what else do I need?
01:19:20Oh, yes, a ring.
01:19:22A teething ring?
01:19:24Wedding ring?
01:19:26Of course.
01:19:28Oh, they have gorgeous plans in the shops these days.
01:19:30No wonder everyone's at it.
01:19:32Oh, sorry.
01:19:34What about?
01:19:36Skip it.
01:19:38About time, too.
01:19:40With her sympathy.
01:19:42Not that I need any, actually.
01:19:44I've never been as happy in my life.
01:19:46But she doesn't know that.
01:19:48If I'm looking miserable, Sandra, it's because I'm feeling happy for you.
01:19:52Yeah.
01:19:54We know what you must be thinking.
01:19:58Of course we do.
01:20:00How to pop the pink without going in off.
01:20:08Ace.
01:20:10She used to wear pink, you know.
01:20:12I won't tell you where.
01:20:14A hell of a lot more where hers came from.
01:20:18Wow!
01:20:24Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?
01:20:26I know, spells no.
01:20:30Super day for it.
01:20:32Hmm, sin being inside a day like this.
01:20:36Well, Sandra, this is it.
01:20:39Yep.
01:20:40The big day.
01:20:41Yep.
01:20:42Coming to the crotch.
01:20:43Crunch.
01:20:44Crunch.
01:20:45I dare say it'll hardly break me heart in the slightest, seeing him again.
01:20:49You mustn't think I'll be crying inside, because I most definitely won't be.
01:20:53And what's more, no-one will know that I am.
01:20:56Because I shan't.
01:20:58Truly.
01:21:01Sandra, please, you've enough to think of.
01:21:07It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it?
01:21:10And now one of the bride and groom on their own.
01:21:12Do you mind stepping back, sir?
01:21:13Fine.
01:21:14This is fine enough.
01:21:15Here?
01:21:16About there, lovely.
01:21:17You can kiss the bride on this one, sir.
01:21:18Wow.
01:21:19Official permission to actually kiss her.
01:21:20Whew.
01:21:21Ow!
01:21:22Oh, sorry.
01:21:23That's right.
01:21:24Hold it.
01:21:25Lovely.
01:21:27Lovely.
01:21:29Lovely.
01:21:31Lovely.
01:21:32Right, now, a nice family group of the parents, please.
01:21:33Right, parents.
01:21:34And the bride...
01:21:35Funny.
01:21:36I remember the Friday lunchtime they first met.
01:21:37How have you been?
01:21:38Absolutely great.
01:21:39You?
01:21:40Never better.
01:21:41Ever.
01:21:42That's it.
01:21:43Hold it like that.
01:21:44It's all over now.
01:21:45Bar the salmon salad.
01:21:46It's tuna fish.
01:21:47It's life.
01:21:48See, President.
01:21:49Nick, some went to China, then.
01:21:50That was before we ever met.
01:21:52Well, you've never met.
01:21:53You haven't met.
01:21:54Have you ever met?
01:21:55How have you been?
01:21:56You haven't met?
01:21:57How have you been?
01:21:58Absolutely great.
01:21:59You?
01:22:00I've never bettor.
01:22:01Never better.
01:22:02Ever.
01:22:03Never.
01:22:04It's all over now.
01:22:05Bata salmon salad.
01:22:08It's tuna fish.
01:22:10It's life.
01:22:13See, President Nick, some growing to China then.
01:22:14That was before we ever met.
01:22:16I know.
01:22:18Why, has something happened about it?
01:22:20No.
01:22:22Could I trouble you for the salad cream, please?
01:22:26Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on Earth without going to the moon.
01:22:32Nixon?
01:22:34Why is he going?
01:22:36No.
01:22:38The astronauts.
01:22:40It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.
01:22:44We never really talked, did we? About things that matter.
01:22:49Good, isn't it? Shows we're friends.
01:22:52Now that we know we don't like each other.
01:22:54Everybody thinks we're broken-hearted.
01:23:01We've really grown up, haven't we?
01:23:03My mother's convinced herself we split up because we had too much Percy filth.
01:23:06I'm right off it myself.
01:23:08I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks.
01:23:12Aw.
01:23:13I expect it's only temporary.
01:23:15I hope not.
01:23:16It's marvellous.
01:23:17Good.
01:23:18I don't fancy you in the slightest now.
01:23:21Thank you, love.
01:23:22Still off the food, I noticed.
01:23:27And we've learnt a fantastic amount for the future.
01:23:33Fantastic.
01:23:34For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, only someone I love.
01:23:39I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night.
01:23:45In bed a bit.
01:23:50And you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol
01:23:54and marry her three days later.
01:23:58We probably won't see each other at all now, we're pals.
01:24:01I expect you're going to the match this afternoon.
01:24:03Oh, yeah.
01:24:04I'm helping Sandra Packer go in a way case.
01:24:07Where's she going?
01:24:08Hospital.
01:24:09Well, we'll bump into each other sometime.
01:24:17Thank you, sir.
01:24:18Here we go, you're welcome.
01:24:19Bye.
01:24:46Hello Mrs. Battersby. You won't remember me.
01:25:00Good afternoon, Geoffrey.
01:25:04Is Beryl there, please?
01:25:08She's gone to the football match.
01:25:11There is no football. It's cricket now.
01:25:14Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
01:25:39Hi.
01:25:41When's the kick-off?
01:25:44In about three months. Football season's over now, Beryl.
01:25:48What on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:51I forgot. I'm not all that interested these days.
01:25:56Where will you go now, then?
01:25:59I don't know.
01:26:04I could always go inside and practise booing for next season.
01:26:09Where will you?
01:26:10Might go and get a new pair of tights.
01:26:13Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?
01:26:16Fancy a stroll in the country?
01:26:18May as well. If you like. Don't mind. Why not?
01:26:23Just as friends.
01:26:25Oh, I meant just as friends.
01:26:26Yeah, I did.
01:26:35Wish we had a ball.
01:26:37I could play shooting in.
01:26:42You could go in goal.
01:26:48Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:26:50Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:08We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:23Anyone, really.
01:27:29There's millions to choose from.
01:27:32All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:40You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:43You will, Beryl.
01:27:45Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.
01:27:48Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:50shaking
01:27:57problematic
01:28:05RマJ!
01:28:06RマJ!
01:28:07RマJ!
01:28:10RマJ!
01:28:11Rマja!
01:28:13These are streets in the house.
01:28:17R dude.
01:28:18R lag personne
01:28:19And you'll find sometimes
01:28:33Love and rainy weather can turn out fine
01:28:38Getting wet together's fun
01:28:41When the crying's dark
01:28:47Love and rainy weather
01:28:51Are followed by the sun
01:28:58Love and rainy weather
01:29:00Love and rainy weather
01:29:05When the crying's dark
01:29:12Love and rainy weather
01:29:16Are followed by the sun
01:29:22Love and rainy weather
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