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00:00from hollywood the glamour capital of the world join us in a make-believe search for the most
00:14beautiful girl on earth
00:16yes it's a dollar 98 beauty show an entertainment spectacular if ever there was one where beauty
00:29is not only in the eyes of the beholder but also on this very stage tonight the dollar 98 beauty
00:35show will continue its relentless spoof of all of those other so-called beauty contests and although
00:40this is not a real contest we will bring you our version of the all-american beauty that one-of-a-kind
00:45girl who not only has personality and poise but beauty and talent as well yes sir the dollar 98
00:50beauty show will be bringing you tons of talented and beautiful women every single week happy women
00:56terrified women women singing and dancing and braiding about in the latest bathing suits
00:59from the halls of montezuma to the shores of san tropez
01:03and now here's the host and star of the show mr beauty himself rip taylor
01:13oh thank you and welcome to the dollar 98 beauty show we have six of the most exciting and beautiful
01:41girls you've ever seen on this stage waiting to find out which one of us will be this week's
01:45dollar 98 beauty of the week one of the girls little sexy little body builder who built the
01:50sexiest little body you've ever seen in your whole life we'll meet her in a competition
01:53right after this message i'm so happy to be all it's so beautiful
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04:00for free call 1-800-313-1600 and welcome back to the dollar 98 beauty show now let's meet our wonderful
04:12celebrities here's a guy who comes into your homes every day because he's one of the stars of that
04:17popular daytime series the young and restless david hasselhoff david
04:23now here's a delightful lady she's the nationally known syndicated columnist for the united press feature
04:32ladies and gentlemen the lovely marilyn beck
04:35now next is the unexplained prince of puns the undernourished wizard of whoopee the great unknown comer
04:47now you're ready now now now let's beat our candidates for the coveted title of dollar 98
04:58beauty of the week and here now is candidate number one candidate number one is pamela stonebrook
05:05she's 28 years old she's single and she's from blue island illinois
05:13how are you oh face let him see how pretty you are where where are you from well i'm from uh i was
05:22born in blue island illinois but i'm really from canton ohio oh yeah i know that yes married at all
05:27no there's a chance yeah thank you so much yes thank you here's candidate number two
05:32candidate number two is montana mezzi she's 28 years old she's single and she's a photojournalist
05:44from st louis missouri hello cutie hello oh i bet that zebra's running around cold i think so
05:54here's candidate number three candidate number three is renee she's 28 years old she's single
06:04and she's a bank receptionist from st paul minnesota hello renee hello darling is it just renee or renee renee renee
06:15deon renee deon oh like one of the deon quintuplets right here's candidate number four
06:22candidate number four is cheryl blevens she's 18 years old she's single and she's a college student
06:31from tuscaloosa alabama how are you honey just fine you're from alabama tuscaloosa yeah that means the
06:43elephants are fat because of tuscaloosa cover me now here here is candidate number five
06:50candidate number five is maria collect she's 40 years old she's single and she is from budafest
07:02hungry how do you do oh let him see how pretty you are oh you're all dressed up i am this is a
07:09hawaiian lava lava is that what that is no i just had this dress for about 10 years and it comes in
07:16fashion now you see yes it is it's cotton now here is candidate number six candidate number six is maria
07:25johnny donald ondala diane she's 32 years old she's single and she is from vienna austria might all look at that
07:32but they're glad i definitely see what he died he thought he was praying i thought i mean i think that
07:44wait be home please we'll be back now with the exciting and unpredictable talent segment of the vielen
07:5198 Duty Show, right after this message.
07:53Oh, you'll love it.
07:54The Astrodome, 37 years of history, and it comes to this.
08:02The final rides in the Reliant Astrodome.
08:04Daring combatants trying to leave their mark.
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08:10It's the year's biggest regular season rodeo.
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08:28Viewers Forum, now with more of what you want.
08:31Thank you for taking my call, Rich.
08:32More interaction opportunities to voice your opinions during our new feature, Viewers Express.
08:38More interviews of golf's biggest stars and current newsmakers every week.
08:42And more time for our guest analysts to respond to your comments during our expanded 90-minute shows.
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08:52Call 1-800-333-DISH and ask for America's Top 150.
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09:58Talker. Box carrier. Goes by many aliases.
10:02Granny J. Baby J. Bandito J. J. Claus.
10:06Consummate pitch man. Can sell eggs to a chicken.
10:09Cannot be trusted with money.
10:11Watch out for Jay Stewart on Let's Make a Deal.
10:13Every night at 8.30 p.m. Eastern only on Game Show Network.
10:19Welcome back.
10:20It's talent time on the Dollar 98 Beauty Show.
10:23Now, this is the portion of the program where our candidates attempt to entertain us
10:26while we evaluate them for talent and originality.
10:29Now, first of all, here is candidate number one, Pamela Stonebrook.
10:40Free and easy, baby, that's my style.
10:44How do you do me, baby, that's my style.
10:50Fare thee well, me, after a while.
10:55Oh, yeah, cause I gotta roam.
11:01And any place I hang my hat is home.
11:08Oh, yeah.
11:10Oh, yeah, well, I kicked off my shoes,
11:14I took off my hat.
11:17Oh, too average on the welcome back,
11:22Hey, any place I hang my hat is home.
11:28Oh!
11:40All right!
11:42Hey, hey!
11:43Yeah, I like to hang her drapes now.
11:46Here is candidate number two, Montana Maisie!
11:58Today I'm going to be doing three of the official lifts of the Olympic weightlifting team.
12:16And I'm lifting 13,603 grams.
12:21The first one is called the clean and press.
12:26This one is the two-handed split snatch.
12:39And this is the clean and jerk.
12:51Yeah!
12:58Ah-ha!
13:04Ha-ha-ha!
13:06Ah, I married the last dumbbell I picked up.
13:10Now here, here's candidate number three, Rene!
13:17Thank you very much.
13:21I'm your comedian.
13:22My name is Gutenberg.
13:23I'm your kid.
13:24I'm your kid.
13:25I'm your kid.
13:26I'm your kid.
13:27I'm your kid.
13:28All right!
13:58Going to play with Rene. Never mind. Here now is candidate number four, Cheryl Blevins.
14:16I got the blues for my baby down by the San Francisco Bay.
14:24An ocean liner took him so far away.
14:32Oh, I didn't mean to treat him so bad.
14:37You know he was the best man I ever had.
14:42And I'm gonna stand by like little Maggie cry.
14:48Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
14:52I ain't got a liquor and I ain't got to louse it down.
14:58Oh, oh, yeah.
15:00Oh, and if he don't come back, I think I'm gonna lose my mind.
15:06I'm sure I'm gonna lose my mind.
15:09And if he ever comes back to stay.
15:13Oh, it's gonna be a brand new day.
15:17We're not gonna walkin' with his birthday.
15:21Stop it!
15:23The same rest is so bad.
15:25Oh, and I said it doesn't matter.
15:29Oh, it's gonna be a brand new day.
15:31It's gonna be a brand new day.
15:34I'm gonna walkin' with my baby down by.
15:36Oh, it's been a different system on me.
15:40Hey.
15:43Well, I thought I was all wet.
15:59Now, here is candidate number five, Maria Collette.
16:13Sorry baby, your business is calling.
16:26I love you myself.
16:32I love you.
16:58Yeah, that's easy for you to say, now.
17:27Here is candidate number six, Maria Diane.
17:34Falling in love again, never wanted to, what am I to do?
17:49Can't help it.
17:52Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuß auf Liebe eingestellt.
17:59Und du, Liebling, das ist meine Welt und sonst gar nichts.
18:06Mensch, schwirren um mich, wie Motten um das Licht.
18:13Und du, wenn sie verbrennen, du dafür, dafür kann ich überhaupt nichts.
18:19Falling in love again, never wanted to.
18:26I, darling, I can't help it.
18:33We'll be back.
18:40We'll be back.
18:41We'll be back to continue with the search of the 998 Duty of the Week with the titillating bathing suit competition right after this message.
18:56You want drama?
18:57The $100,000 pyramid with Dick Clark, weekends at 5 p.m. Eastern on Game Show Network.
19:03When it comes to allergies, I'm a grass ragweed pet dander, but my allergy medicine wasn't approved for the pet dander.
19:11So it was either get rid of it or get rid of Rufus.
19:14Not all allergy medicines are approved for indoor and outdoor allergies.
19:18Among leading prescription antihistamines, only Zyrtec is FDA approved to treat indoor and outdoor allergies.
19:23In studies, drowsiness was the most common side effect.
19:25Others included fatigue and dry mouth.
19:27Most were mild or moderate.
19:28Ask your doctor about switching to Zyrtec.
19:30Zyrtec.
19:31That's Zyrtec.
19:32Lots of allergies.
19:33Just one Zyrtec.
19:34I ate Koyker oatmeal for 30 days.
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19:40Pops it right out.
19:42Help lower my cholesterol score by 22 points.
19:45Join the club.
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19:49Here's to letting the wind comb your hair once in a while.
19:52A little bit of freedom goes a long way.
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19:59And just five calories.
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20:04At Jones Market, we work a long, hard day.
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20:34Welcome back to the Dollar 98 Beauty Show.
20:37And we continue our search for the Dollar 98 Beauty of the Week
20:39with the exciting bathing suit competition.
20:42Now folks here, stripped of all their worldly goods.
20:46To give us one last peek as they make the final bid to accumulate points for beauty and poise
20:51are tonight's six gorgeous contestants.
20:53Here again is candidate number one.
20:56She sang the song, any place I hang my hat is home.
20:59Pamela Stonebrook.
21:01Pamela Stonebrook measures 35, 24, 36.
21:06Pamela has a B.A. degree in theater.
21:09But for the past 15 months, she's been working as a counter girl for a Chinese hand laundry in the Catskill Mountains.
21:15Pamela says she loves reading Oriental poetry.
21:18And one of her favorite poems was written by Ling Xiao Ching, who said,
21:23No ticky, no washy.
21:25That's Pamela Stonebrook from Blue Island, Illinois.
21:33Alright.
21:34Here again is candidate number two.
21:36The muscle-bound weight lifter, Montana Maisie.
21:40Montana Maisie measures 35, 24, 35.
21:45She tells us that it's rough having to go through life with a name like Montana.
21:49But her mother claims it was her father's choice.
21:52Her mother wanted her to be named after her great-grandmother, Louisville, Kentucky.
21:56Montana admits that she's a true health food fanatic, loves health food stories,
22:01and is in group therapy for those who have anxieties about granola.
22:05That's Montana Maisie from St. Louis, Missouri.
22:09I love granola.
22:14Now here again is candidate number three, the dancing receptionist, Renee.
22:19Renee measures 40, 28, 40.
22:22Renee has always been faced with the problem of being tall.
22:26At age two, she was 5 feet 11 inches.
22:29It didn't bother her as much as her mother, who spent seven years knitting Renee's booties.
22:34Like so many other girls, Renee has always wanted to play center for the Harlem Globetrotters.
22:39But while she's waiting, she works as a bank teller and sings all show tunes through the microphone at the drive-up window.
22:47That's Renee from St. Paul, Minnesota.
22:49Ha-ha!
22:54Again, here is candidate number four, the singing college student, Cheryl Blevins.
23:00Cheryl Blevins measures 34, 23, 34.
23:05This being her first semester at college, Cheryl is unsure about her future directions.
23:10She says a lot depends on three things, her willingness to work hard, her attitude, and her sugar daddy's financial conditions.
23:18At the moment, she's studying art history and hopes to learn enough about art to someday blackmail him forever.
23:25That's Cheryl Blevins from Tuscaloosa, Alabama.
23:28Ha-ha-ha!
23:30Ha-ha-ha!
23:33Again, candidate number five, she crawled on the floor with her teddy bear.
23:37Ha-ha-ha!
23:38Maria Collette!
23:40Maria Collette measures 39, 27, 38.
23:44Ever since Maria saw the movie The Blob, she's wanted to explore her own mind.
23:49She's constantly toying with the fact that nothing is more irritating than a malfunctioning brain.
23:55She says the best way to stimulate the brain is by meditating next to a blue, still pond.
24:01Or if need be, some tidy bowls.
24:04As far as she's concerned, happiness is a warm puppy, stuck between a hot dog bun with a little relish.
24:11That's Maria Collette from Budapest, Hungary.
24:14Ha-ha-ha!
24:17Ha-ha-ha!
24:20Ha-ha-ha!
24:21And my hat's off to you, Maria, now.
24:24Candidate number six who impersonated Marlena Dietrich, Maria Diane.
24:30Woo!
24:31Maria Diane measures 38, 24, 36.
24:35Maria lived in Vienna all her life until sausage began giving her gas,
24:40and Waltzing brought out the sausage in her.
24:42Maria moved to Philadelphia only to discover that Scrapple
24:46gave her even stronger attacks.
24:48But at least she had a leg up when she applied for a position at the Philadelphia Gas and Electric Company.
24:53Maria says she hates California.
24:55It's cold and it's damp.
24:56That's why the lady is a tramp.
24:58That's Maria Diane from Vienna, Austria.
25:01All right, now there they are.
25:04There they are, our six lovelies, and we'll be back to find out which ones are $1.98 beauty of the week right after this message.
25:13Oh, they're lovely.
25:14Look at them.
25:15Aren't they gorgeous?
25:16Smile, girls.
25:17You're gorgeous.
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26:48The stars shine even brighter under the inquisitive lights of celebrity dating game.
26:53Then stick around for three game show classics on black and white overnight.
26:58And now, are you ready for this, folks?
27:02Very important.
27:03This is the moment we've all been waiting for.
27:06May I have the envelope, please?
27:13Oh, it's hard. Oh, it's very hard.
27:18The winner is, ladies and gentlemen, Pamela Stonebrook!
27:36You are our $1.98 beauty of the week.
27:49That means you can wear this brisly little ornate...
27:52Oh, the baby's so happy.
27:53Wait, wait, wait, wait.
27:54A little cape.
27:55A little crown.
27:56This red little cape.
27:57That little cape.
27:59Uh-huh.
28:00And here now...
28:01Wait, wait, wait.
28:02Here is your $1.98.
28:04Oh, here you are, my darling.
28:07And now, to walk the plank of pulper tune is Pamela Stonebrook, the $1.98 beauty of the week.
28:15Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
28:18You win the prize.
28:23You take the case.
28:27You get the crown.
28:30And $1.98.
28:35You ring the bell.
28:38You hit the spot.
28:43In other words...
28:46We like what you've got.
28:50We like your style.
28:54You have such grace.
28:57We love that smile.
29:01And just look at her grace.
29:07Your dreams will grow.
29:11And make your shining star.
29:17Stay with you.
29:18Whatever you are.
29:20Wherever you are.
29:24Wherever you are.
29:32Miss Stonebrook.
29:33The $1.98 beauty of the week.
29:35All right.
29:36Oh, she's so happy.
29:38You made someone happy.
29:40There is a God.
29:50Wave, my darling.
29:51What can I say?
29:54Oh, no!
29:55Hey, hey!
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