Embark on a transformative journey from fear to love

Mark L Lockwood - Contemplative Intelligence

Unlock your potential and lead with purpose. This powerful video, "The Paradigm Process: A Journey from Fear to Love," offers a practical framework for transitioning from a fear-based mindset to a more authentic, love-based approach in both your professional and personal life.  The video explores key concepts like the "Skyscraper of Consciousness" for navigating your inner world and introduces a powerful question—"Whose business is it?"—to help you take back control and focus on what you can influence. It also outlines a six-step "loving inquiry" process for letting go of limiting beliefs that can hold you back.  By understanding and implementing these tools, you can cultivate greater peace, clarity, and leadership in your career.  #LeadershipDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #Mindset #EmotionalIntelligence #ProfessionalDevelopment

Transcript

00:00So today, we're diving into something called the paradigm process.

00:04Think of it as a map, a journey that takes us from the person we think we are,

00:08the one that's often driven by fear, all the way back to our authentic self,

00:12a self that's rooted in love.

00:14You know, to really get this, we've got to start with this idea from Carl Jung.

00:18He talked about the persona.

00:20It's basically the mask, right?

00:21The face we show everyone else to make sure we fit in, to make a good impression.

00:25But the whole time, it's hiding who we really are deep down.

00:28And that leads to a pretty big question.

00:30What happens when that mask gets too tight?

00:32When it starts to feel like it's suffocating?

00:33And that question?

00:35Well, it leads us right into our first section.

00:37We're going to explore what this framework calls the prison of personality.

00:41It's all about digging into why so many of us feel kind of stuck or anxious

00:45or like we're not really being our true selves.

00:48So what is this personality we're talking about?

00:52Well, it's way more than just a mask.

00:54It was actually our survival kit.

00:56It's this whole bundle of habits, reactions, and beliefs that we built up to protect ourselves

01:01when we were young and vulnerable.

01:03But here's the problem.

01:04And it's a huge one.

01:06Its entire foundation is built on fear.

01:09It was designed for survival, not for thriving.

01:11And, you know, standing guard around this fearful personality is this whole army of what this

01:17process calls ego insurgents.

01:19I just love that term.

01:20Imagine them as your mind's totally outdated operating system, like Windows 95 trying to

01:25run a modern computer.

01:26They're these old defense mechanisms that are now working overtime to protect the prison

01:30walls.

01:31And they're the very things keeping you from your authentic self.

01:33Let me give you a classic example.

01:35You've probably met the judge.

01:37Oh, yeah, that's that voice in your head, the one that's just relentless.

01:41It's always pointing fingers, blaming, and making you feel small.

01:45Its go-to line is always some version of, you're just not good enough.

01:48And the crazy part is, it thinks it's helping.

01:51It thinks it's pushing you to do better.

01:53But really, it's just keeping you on that hamster wheel of fear.

01:56And this really boils down to the fundamental choice in front of all of us.

02:00On one side, you've got that fear-based personality.

02:02It's constantly trying to control everything, which, of course, just leads to more anxiety

02:06and stress.

02:07It makes you feel separate and judgmental.

02:09And the end result of that path, it's always suffering.

02:13But then on the other side, you have the love-based sacred self.

02:16It doesn't see control.

02:17It chooses self-love.

02:18That leads to peace, connection, and gratitude.

02:21And the result of that path, well, that's thriving.

02:24So the big question is, how do we get from that place of suffering to that place of thriving?

02:30Well, that's what we're talking about next.

02:32We need a map to freedom, a total paradigm shift that can guide us back to our sacred

02:36self.

02:37Okay, so if we're all kind of trapped in this prison of our own making, then what?

02:40What does the escape plan actually look like?

02:42How do you even start to navigate your own inner world to find a way out?

02:46Well, this framework gives us a fantastic metaphor for it, the skyscraper of consciousness.

02:50It's a map of our inner world, all based on our emotional energy.

02:54See, most of us start out in the basement, the survival zone.

02:57That's where fear, shame, and despair live.

02:59As we start to grow, we take the elevator up to the reactive and awakening zones, where

03:03we start questioning things.

03:05And with more work, we can reach the upper floors of integration, love, connection, and

03:09eventually the penthouse, the transcendent zone, pure peace and unconditional love.

03:14The view from up there is amazing.

03:16So what's the elevator that takes us up this skyscraper?

03:19It's something called contemplative intelligence, or CQ for short.

03:23Now, this has zero to do with your IQ.

03:25CQ is all about using your awareness, your own ability to reflect and observe, to consciously

03:31steer your brain.

03:32It's like becoming the driver, taking the wheel, and guiding yourself out of those basement

03:36level survival instincts and up towards your true potential for wisdom.

03:39Okay, this all sounds really good in theory, right?

03:42But how do we actually do it?

03:44This next part is all about the how.

03:47It's the most practical, hands-on piece of this whole explainer.

03:50It's the actual key you can use to unlock your own transformation.

03:54All right, let's get into this incredibly simple but honestly life-changing idea.

03:58It's a framework that helps you immediately take your power back.

04:01And it all boils down to asking yourself one single question.

04:05Whose business is it?

04:06Look, according to this idea, there are only three kinds of business in the entire universe.

04:11First, there's what you could call God's business.

04:14You know, the weather, the past, the pandemic, all the stuff you have absolutely no control

04:18over.

04:19That's not your business.

04:20Then there's their business.

04:22What other people are thinking, what they're feeling, what they're doing.

04:24Also, not your business.

04:26We create so much of our own stress by messing around in those two areas.

04:29The only place your power exists is right here in my business.

04:33Your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.

04:35That's it.

04:36That's your domain.

04:37And here is the tool to help you stay in my business.

04:40It's a six-step process called loving inquiry.

04:43First, self-awareness.

04:45Just notice the stressful story that's looping in your head.

04:48Then you take a contemplative pause and ask yourself, is this story 100% true?

04:53Can I know that for sure?

04:55From there, you use self-inquiry to really feel the consequences of believing that story.

05:00Step four is self-connection.

05:02Reconnect with your true self, your core values.

05:05Then self-reflection.

05:07You've got to own your part in the story.

05:09And finally, step six is self-love, where you consciously choose a new feeling and let

05:13that old story go.

05:15It's a direct path back to your power.

05:17So after all this, the inquiry, the journey up the skyscraper, where do we end up?

05:23Our final section is about the destination.

05:25It's about the return.

05:26It's about finally coming home and embracing your sacred self.

05:29And what is this sacred self?

05:32Well, it's not something you need to build or go out and find.

05:35It's the real you that's been there the whole time, underneath all the conditioning.

05:40It's the part of you that doesn't react, that doesn't judge, and that needs zero validation

05:44from anyone else.

05:45It's not something you do.

05:47It's just a state of being.

05:48It's a frequency of love and peace.

05:51And I really want you to hear this.

05:53This is maybe the most important part.

05:55No matter how many masks you've put on, no matter how thick that prison of

05:58personality has become, 100% of your true self is still there.

06:04It's intact.

06:05Nothing was ever lost.

06:07It was just covered up for a while.

06:09The poet Rumi captured this destination perfectly.

06:12Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.

06:17I'll meet you there.

06:19That field, that is the sacred self.

06:22It's that space beyond judgment, that place of pure peace where we can finally meet ourselves

06:28and everyone else with total acceptance.

06:31So please remember this.

06:33The story of your personality, all the good, the bad, the drama, it is not who you actually

06:37are.

06:38It's just a story you learned to tell yourself, which leaves us with one last really powerful

06:43question to take with you.

06:45Who would you be without your story?

06:47Who would you be without your story?

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