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FunTranscript
00:00and how long have you been a superhero me well i guess i've always been a superhero
00:08i don't know much else arthur it was the tick really like the check he's great he's a little
00:17hard to work with sometimes but he's stronger than anybody listen ours is an epic tale true
00:23friendship heart-stopping danger men and women in tights making the rules and breaking them
00:28we are not two men we are ten men listen it all started in reno every year heroes flock to the
00:37national super institute to compete for the best cities to protect from crime ladies and gentlemen
00:43the blowfish avenger blowfish gets new rochelle way to go blow one year i decided to compete
00:58hello reno i am the tick
01:15i am mighty
01:24now you may ask but how does one prove mightiness to this i reply by surviving the deadliest engine
01:32of destruction 1974 had to offer ladies and gentlemen you may want to shield yourselves with your dessert
01:39menus i might be dangerous
01:46well this is disappointing
01:58and the rest is history
02:10come in
02:12now
02:17now
02:19still
02:29now
02:30Three, drop, throw down.
02:34Two, we've turned down.
02:36Three, four, we've turned down.
02:45Two, we've turned down!
02:50AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
02:52Whoa!
03:00Yes, destiny is powerful hand
03:30has made the bed of my future and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero,
03:37to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere.
03:43You don't fight destiny, no sir, and you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all scratchy.
03:53Hey, I'm narrating here.
03:57They've assigned me a city. My mission? To free it from the ravages of evil and supervillainy,
04:05so its citizens may sleep easy, secure in the knowledge that they are protected.
04:12The city. My, the city. It cries to me of its need.
04:22Excuse me.
04:28Arthur?
04:30Yes, Mr. Wiederspan?
04:32Arthur, I'm afraid the firm feels that it's time to allow you the opportunity to pursue other avenues of employment.
04:42I'm fired? Is there a problem with my work?
04:45Oh no, Arthur. No, it's, it's, it's...
04:48It's that stupid bunny outfit.
04:50Oh no, not bunny, sir. Moth. It's my moth suit. Actually, it's a flying suit. The wings are in my briefcase.
04:58Arthur, you're making the other accountants nervous. We all find this kind of rampant individuality very disturbing.
05:08I know you think I'm crazy, Mr. Wiederspan, but I'm not. It's just...
05:14Ever since I found this suit, I've felt strange new needs, urges.
05:20I can't live this life a moment longer. Somewhere out there, a destiny of adventure and excitement waits for me.
05:28Accounting is a fine skill to fall back on, but the road less traveled, much less traveled.
05:34The moth suit and wings road is a lot more exciting than taxes.
05:49City, it is I, the Tick, your destined defender. Show me where it hurts.
05:56Hall.
05:59Hall.
06:00Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm.
06:03Oh, there's crime here. I can smell it. I can taste it.
06:23So shall I begin my first patrol of the city with one giant leap.
06:27Soon, they will know me. Soon, they will need me.
06:42Well, great. Now I'm unemployed. How am I going to find adventure and excitement when I can't even cover my expenses?
06:50Hup! And double-flip! Aha! I'll bounce off that flagpole and flip to safety. Aha! I'll bounce off that broad, flat surface.
07:07I don't eat out. And reverse my underwear to get an extra day.
07:10Or maybe not.
07:14Ah!
07:14Gravity is a harsh mistress.
07:21Are you all right?
07:22I'm fine. I'm a superhero. I'm nigh invulnerable. I'm built for this kind of thing.
07:29Nice outfit.
07:30A superhero?
07:31Known to evildoers everywhere as the Tick.
07:35I'm Arthur. Known to taxpayers everywhere as the Accountant. I'm looking for adventure.
07:40Hmm. Come have lunch with me, Arthur. Adventure will follow.
07:58Why would they send a superhero of my caliber to a place like this?
08:03Oh, I'm not sure this city even needs a champion.
08:05So, you're a superhero, huh? And what sort of costume is that supposed to be?
08:10Costume? No costume, friend. I am simply the Tick.
08:16Well, you can't be the Tick. Ticks are arachnids. They got eight legs.
08:20How do you know I don't?
08:22Ticks suck blood. Do you suck blood?
08:25Uh, yeah. I suck blood all the time.
08:28Yeah, right. Look! I got a straw right here, pal. You want a demonstration?
08:31No, no. No, no. Thanks. No.
08:37An explosion.
08:38Come on.
08:39Is a foot.
08:39A foot? That's funny.
08:41I have only seconds to shed my everyday disguise.
08:44This looks like a job for...
08:46There's somebody in here.
08:49Occupied.
08:51This looks like a job for...
08:53The Cape Chameleon!
08:54They've got guns.
09:09This is definitely illegal.
09:12Help!
09:13Arthur, do you fly?
09:15My wings are in my briefcase.
09:16Back at the diner. I'll go get them.
09:19No time, chum!
09:20I think I'll just lie down here for a second.
09:35Criminals!
09:36You face the sworn protector of this fair city!
09:41You face...
09:42The Tick!
09:46Speak up!
09:47I can't understand a word you're saying through those stupid masks.
09:50No!
09:53Enunciate!
10:00Can't do plan!
10:03The desk!
10:05Are we dead yet?
10:13Far from it, Arthur.
10:14We have them on the run.
10:16Onward!
10:19Hey, cool.
10:25They got a blimp.
10:27That was the scene today at the Reeve Droid Bank, as the mysterious gang known as the idea
10:32men struck again, continuing their terrible crime wave.
10:36It was the sixth time in as many days that the baffling criminals have descended from the sky to literally lift the city's most valued assets.
10:45But today, their nefarious plot was thwarted by an heroic blue stranger.
10:50Hey, cool.
10:51They got a blimp.
10:53Our modest blue benefactor exited the scene without comment.
10:57The idea of that menace is far from over, says Mayor Blank.
11:02In fact, we have reason to believe that these criminals have been merely practicing for a much larger caper.
11:07We'll have more on this story as it develops.
11:10Meanwhile, on a lighter note, clown.
11:13I always have trouble with these keys.
11:18Well, this is my place.
11:20What do you think?
11:22It's great!
11:23It looks just like an apartment.
11:25Where's your secret headquarters trigger?
11:27Is this it?
11:28No, wait!
11:29You know, the trigger.
11:30Like a statue or a candlestick that you twist and then everything flips over and all your crime-busting equipment pops out.
11:36This is it, right?
11:37No!
11:38What does your sofa turn into?
11:40Your sonar radar perimeter defense unit?
11:42No!
11:43It turns into a bed.
11:45Please, this is just an apartment.
11:47It is?
11:48Yes, yes!
11:50Well, this place is going to take a lot of work if it's going to be our superhero headquarters.
11:55No!
11:56No?
11:57Oh, I don't know.
11:58I just don't know if I'm ready for this.
12:00Too much excitement.
12:01Too much adventure.
12:02I think I'm going crazy.
12:04You're not going crazy, Arthur.
12:06You're going sane in a crazy world.
12:09Some people are destined for greater things.
12:12Arthur, you are one of those people.
12:15You can't hide from it.
12:17You've got to hug it.
12:18Hug your destiny, Arthur!
12:21Hug it.
12:24Uh-huh.
12:25Well, I think I'll just sleep on it, okay?
12:28That's fine, my small friend.
12:30You rest up and I will monitor the culture.
12:33TASTE ME!
12:35That's Drama Flakes Tasty Challenge.
12:38Attractive, successful people love Drama Flakes.
12:42Guaranteed to make your life more dramatic and eventful with every golden spoon pill.
12:47Just listen to them get in here, fools.
12:51Good evening, this is Sally Vacuum with a special report.
12:58I'm here at the city hydroelectric plant.
13:00Apparently, the notorious idea men have taken the city dam hostage.
13:05Although, we can't understand a word they're saying.
13:08What?
13:09I'm sorry we didn't get that.
13:12Hey, what's the thing that's happening?
13:15Good heavens!
13:16They're going to flood the city!
13:20Arthur, get up!
13:21The city call upon our best protectors!
13:23Wh-wh-wh-what?
13:24This looks like a job for Bipolar Bear!
13:28But I just can't seem to get out of bed this month.
13:31This looks like a job for...
13:33Captain...
13:34...Leming!
13:39Come on, Spine, work with me!
13:42Excuse me, miss.
13:43I've got to change my outfit.
13:45This looks like a job for the human bullet!
13:47Fire me, boy!
13:51Get those wings on, Arthur.
13:53This isn't such a good idea.
13:54The wings, put them on.
13:55I'm not so good at this.
13:56You'll get better.
13:57I've never flown before.
14:00Not a problem.
14:01No, no, no, no, no.
14:04Change my mind.
14:05Wanna come down.
14:06It's your destiny, Arthur.
14:08Hug it.
14:09I'm very frightened.
14:23No, Arthur.
14:24You're very flying.
14:26You see?
14:27No more doubting yourself.
14:29Well, now, on to the deck. We have work to do.
14:48We're all out of roofs.
14:55What happens now?
14:59Wow.
15:02Wow.
15:05All out of roofs, eh?
15:07Uh, yeah.
15:08Guess so.
15:09Deflator Mouse. I should have known you'd be out tonight.
15:13Well, if it isn't American-made, the world's most patriotic domestic.
15:18This looks like a job for Deflator Mouse, not some mop squeezer.
15:22Why don't you go scrub out a toilet somewhere?
15:25Why don't you go smell up some cave?
15:27People, people, there's a dam about to blow up.
15:31We should team up and use all our resources to battle this evil.
15:35Team up?
15:36I'm not going to team up with her.
15:38There's that fear of commitment again.
15:40Oh, listen to Miss Intimacy here.
15:43Jerk.
15:43Jingoist.
15:44Rabbit goon.
15:45Clean freak.
15:46Nerf.
15:46Ice.
15:47Some people just shouldn't be in this business.
15:49Deep at night.
15:50You are so...
15:50La, la, la, la, la.
15:51To the dam!
15:52But how?
15:53We'll figure it out.
15:54You are so incredible.
15:56Joy sticks and stones.
15:58Amateurs.
15:59None of them really know how to handle evil.
16:03This looks like a job.
16:06Big shot.
16:07The mayor is just now arriving and it looks like he's brought the ransom money.
16:25Mayor Blank, are you actually going to give in to the idea men's criminal demands?
16:31Well, Sally, let me put it this way.
16:33How well can you swim?
16:34But seriously, we have no choice.
16:38They have our dam and no force on earth can stop them now.
16:48Let's see, 15% of...
16:50Arthur!
16:51Onward!
16:52Oh, just keep the change.
16:58Arthur!
16:59Seconds from now, the mayor will hand over a briefcase containing 10 million municipal dollars.
17:07The biggest ransom ever paid in the city's history.
17:10Look!
17:32Look!
17:32They must have gotten their money
17:44They got their money and they're still gonna blow up the dam
17:54Oh, no fair
18:02Okay, idea man, what's the big idea?
18:11Well, we thought we'd steal a lot of money and then we'd be rich and we wouldn't have to work anymore
18:18You can't! Now turn off your bottle!
18:22We can't. Once it's activated, it can't be shut off
18:25What are you doing?
18:33Shh, I'm defusing it
18:35Guns and superheroes don't mix
18:54Seek professional help
18:57My goodness, I'm a walking time bomb
19:01Get out of my way!
19:03Why didn't you love me, Mom?
19:06Ha ha ha ha ha.
19:36I guess we save the city.
19:42For the moment, yes, my friend.
19:43But with luck, our future holds still more dire threats, more perilous plots.
19:49Wherever villainy rears its great big head, wherever evil sets its giant, ill-smelling foot, you will find the tick.
19:59Oh, and Arthur, he's a sidekick.
20:03Good show.
20:05And yes, my sidekick, Arthur.
20:07Certainly a force to be reckoned with.
20:10And so, may evil beware.
20:13And may good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables.
20:16I'm okay.
20:19I'll see you next time.
20:20I'll see you next time.
20:20I'll see you next time.
20:24I'll see you next time.