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00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30I'm Keisha Mathur-Gemus. I am 24 years old. I think I'm a pretty outgoing, outspoken, open book kind of person. I live life every day like it could be my last through humor, all that, try to find the good in life.
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00:58Keisha's always been very strong, very independent. If you ask anybody, when she was younger in our family, everyone knew Keisha. Like, I mean, she was, she wouldn't stop for anything. She wouldn't, she was just crazy, but very vibrant and happy and fun.
01:17My childhood was amazing. I grew up with three brothers and my mom and my stepdad. I played football. I rode horses in Gymkhana with my grandpa. I played basketball. I did soccer. I was just an average teenager living life.
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01:46On November 26, 2013, I was asked to babysit in Sexsmith. And I didn't feel comfortable going alone. It was winter, it was dark, and the roads weren't very good. So I asked a friend Brittany to take along with me.
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01:59On our way home to Beaver Lodge, we hit a moose in my car. And when I got to the hospital, the doctor had told us that I had broke my neck. And so I was flown to Edmonton.
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02:52When we got in the car accident, I was trying to ask Brittany if she was okay and trying to get myself situated and trying to get out of the vehicle, but I couldn't move.
02:59So she came over under my armpits and held my neck and slowly pulled me out of the vehicle.
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03:12As she pulled me out because my foot was paralyzed on the brake, my car slowly rolled into the ditch.
03:17We noticed a truck driver had pulled up and barricaded around us. He sat with us and kept repeating over and over, everything's going to be okay, everything's going to be okay, the ambulance were on their way.
03:29It was a long, eerie drive to town. It was, you know, no one's out at that time of night. And when we got there, then they pulled us aside and told us then.
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03:45You've always had your little girl a certain way and then all of a sudden she's different and it's never going to be the same.
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03:55It's hard, really hard because that's your baby.
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04:02I was kind of in a zone where I wasn't, I was just thinking, how do we do this? How do we take care? How do we do it?
04:08More than the emotional part because the emotional part was too much.
04:13I know for me afterwards, I was going through quite a bit of PTSD from the accident itself. I was the passenger, but I just still feel like everything could have changed and you always just, you know, me walking away from the accident and her not having that ability just really, it hits hard.
04:32I'm able to live my life afterwards, like a normal life where she's in a wheelchair.
04:40And that was a hard thing I had to go through like at the age of like 17 and just like becoming an adult, like having to kind of have that guilt weighing on me for those years.
04:50It was something me and Keisha had to work through together to kind of overcome.
04:57So I kind of took the past as a movie, honestly, a movie that you watched. And that wasn't my life. That was just something I remember in great detail.
05:07I always imagined this scenario temporarily. So the reason I didn't reach out to other people in wheelchairs, this is temporary. I don't relate to that aspect. I don't relate to that world. And yeah, so I think that I never accepted it then.
05:28I knew that she had to build up to get that independent spirit again. She had it and I can see it. And she was trying so hard.
05:45You can't even explain what you're going through. Like your life is totally changed. And how much do you accept? How much do you not accept? And how do you move forward?
05:55You really take in that this happened to you, that this is you in a wheelchair. This is your life. And those, yeah, I've had those moments, but I think I've had more of the upbeat stuff.
06:08And that's because I had, my mom was there every single day. My friends were there every single day. I didn't have time to stop and dwell.
06:17I think she really appreciated it. I hope. Like I really needed her support too. So it was kind of beneficial for the both of us that we could just also just talk out the accident and what happened and just bond together.
06:35So when the doctor first told me, I was in disbelief. I was scared. I was in denial.
06:48It was the way that he told me. He came to my bedside. I'm 17 years old at this time. Last week, I was doing, I was living my life.
06:59I was loving it. I was doing everything and anything I wanted. And he looked me in my face and said, you are C5, C6, quadriplegic, and you will never walk again.
07:10And that destroyed me.
07:20I started thinking back and into the future and I just, I couldn't stop my mind. And at that point, at the end of my breakdown, I stopped myself and I said, I can't, this isn't going to be my life.
07:32I will prove him wrong. I will do the things that he says I can't.
07:38So I designed a tattoo for myself for the accident. And this explains my mindset on it 100%. So I came up with the
08:06quote, it says, the end of one chapter is the start of another. What I have here is I have a time or a sand little dude here with my birthday at the top, which is the start of my first chapter. At the end of the first chapter of my life is the date of the accident with all the sand at the bottom. And then I have a stopwatch starting the next chapter of my life.
09:00I had a, I had a great day, but man, this just didn't work. Can you help me make it, make it work? And then she goes and she makes it work.
09:07Make it work.
09:42My name is Bean Gill, and I'm the Executive Director here at ReU Paralysis Recovery Center.
10:04So yeah, I think it's really important that Keisha work on her neurorecovery and really
10:12put in that effort to make it a routine in her daily tasks, simply because it'll just
10:17help her with her future movements, right?
10:21And so she's very young, and so the younger you start, the more potential you have, and
10:27it's easier to really make it a routine so that it doesn't feel like you're doing homework
10:31or it doesn't feel like you're doing therapy.
10:32We want everybody to stay as healthy as they can for as long as they can, and that means
10:53you have to do your homework.
10:54You have to really put in the effort and the work to maintain whatever muscle mass you
11:00have, and then also build on top of that.
11:24To me, the word able is just like, what can you do?
11:33And I really like talking about that because I'm really tired of the word can't.
11:36It feels amazing, like a whole new person, who's a different person, actually.
11:58My body is doing what I need it to do, so that's good.
12:02That's usually the frustrating part.
12:06I met Keisha probably two to three years ago, and she started to play pool, and I got
12:18talking to her and got to know her that way.
12:19To me, able is being able to do things, being able to go places, being able to spend time
12:40with friends, with family, you know, without constriction, without anything barricading or
12:44blocking you or stopping you from doing so.
12:54I've had to slowly adjust to this life.
12:59So the very first speech that I ever did was in Grand Cache, and I had just had a friend
13:14read it out to me, who was also in a wheelchair.
13:16As soon as I did that speech, all, like watching, there was only like 20 kids in there, but watching
13:23them engage, watching them respond to what you had to say, and that they were able to connect
13:30with different parts of my story.
13:31And then the questions after, the high that you receive off of that, that I was hooked.
13:37I was in.
13:37I was just like, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.
13:40I think I help and impact more people being in a wheelchair than when I'm walking, because
13:58you don't know my story.
13:59I'm just a walking person, and this, I just, I'm happy right now in this predicament, so
14:06I think I do this more so for other people.
14:09I have people in wheelchairs and not, contacting me and saying, thank you for this, thank you
14:14for showing us how to do this, now that we're able to do it, like, we had no idea.
14:18And like, I like to show other people, because before the accident, I didn't know anybody
14:23in a wheelchair.
14:24And just, it's, it's just interesting to see how other people live their lives, right?
14:29And I think the awareness is the biggest part.
14:32As a walking person, you don't see the bumps, you don't see the cracks, you don't see the
14:35big holes that you have to advert.
14:37And when you don't have places to, like, you have to go on the gravel, on the sidewalk,
14:42go into the road, because there's not a sidewalk to get to your place.
14:46I've noticed walking into places that aren't accessible that should be, and I would have
14:49never noticed before.
14:51But I mean, if you sit down in a chair and actually look at life through their eyes, there's
14:55a lot of places that need to make changes.
14:56Take a good look at your business, take a good look at the people that enter your business,
15:00and make sure that it's open and welcome to everyone.
15:02And do the steps that make that possible.
15:04You know, whether it be ramps, whether it be changes in your layout, or the entry to your
15:09restaurant, you know, make sure it's accessible.
15:11I make advocacy a very important thing in my life because I know the feeling of not having
15:20the advocacy and being that person that needed that.
15:23The feeling of being alone is defeating.
15:26You don't leave your house.
15:28You don't see a point in living.
15:30And the fact that I had that experience, and the people that go through that, they need
15:36somebody.
15:36They need somebody.
15:37So I think every single day I do those kind of things, and I try to advocate for other
15:41people because in the back of my mind, I'm still that person.
15:46And when I didn't have anybody, I wanted somebody.
15:49So I want to be that person for the people that don't have anybody.
15:54The wheelchair is very important.
15:56It's very interesting to look at a chair.
15:58How is it designed?
15:59What color is it?
16:01How does a person sit in a chair?
16:03Oh, there's somebody in the chair.
16:05So one of the stereotypes is forgetting that there's a person in the chair.
16:09And not only is that person there, but that person's fully capable of having opinions and
16:14speaking.
16:14And if they have difficulty finding the words, it's no different than the next person who
16:18has difficulty finding their words.
16:20So one of the stereotypes that Keisha will be fighting is she is far more capable than some
16:27people will ever imagine.
16:29For me, looking at the stereotypes, the big stereotypes, I would get defeated.
16:33I wouldn't even begin to try because I know I'm not going to change everybody's perspective.
16:37But if I can focus on changing one person and being happy by changing one person's perspective,
16:42you change the world.
16:44Over the years, working at Costco, I've had people from those speeches years ago come up
16:59to me and be like, hey, I listened to your speech.
17:02Hey, I was there.
17:03Thank you for this.
17:04Thank you for that.
17:05They're all different.
17:06So I think it's so important to tell your story.
17:10No matter what you've been through, it'll connect with somebody.
17:13And I'm just like, this is why we are in this world, is to give one person a tiny little
17:18bit of inspiration.
17:18Keisha embraces life.
17:32That includes the challenges, the disappointments, the sorrows, the potential, and being able.
17:43So being able to me means going past and defying expectations.
18:13Problems, boundaries, obstacles, people's biases, stereotypes, and doing these things
18:19in spite of how hard it could be on you for the outcome later.
18:24To show other people you can do it.
18:26To show whether it's able-bodied people, whether it's people in wheelchairs, disabilities, whatever.
18:30To show you can.
18:31You can get there in spite of what everybody thinks you can do.
18:43Keisha has a whole lot of hope.
18:47It's not something that I have to generate for her.
18:51We're walking side by side.
18:55We're just rolling along.
18:56If anything, if I were to live a year after my accident, that was the best year of my
19:16life, this last seven years has been the most amazing experience ever.
19:28I'm doing what I want to do.
19:30I'm doing what I love.
19:31I am able to work a minimal amount and still be a part of that force to still live and enjoy
19:39my life, like the opportunities that this life has given me, I would have never, ever had
19:47this chance before.
19:48I do not care if I ever walk again.
19:51I don't even aspire to.
19:53I'm happy.
19:54I am 100% happy with this life.
20:09I am 100% happy with this life.
20:40The tagline for Spinal Cord Injury Alberta is adjust, adapt, and thrive.
20:46I think Keisha is the embodiment of that.
20:50She has adjusted.
20:52She is adapting and she's totally thriving.
21:09I hope people learn from my story that no matter what life gives you, you choose how you react
21:22to it.
21:23This world's not fair all the time.
21:25You're going to have horrible days.
21:26You're going to have things happen to you that you couldn't even imagine and things that
21:31you think are going to be the worst things in the entire world.
21:33But if you enable yourself, if you give yourself enough compassion and you're open to having
21:44a different mindset, having a different perspective and just trying, even if one day it's just
21:49trying to focus on one little positive thing that happened, you change your world.
21:54You change everything.
21:55With my gratitude journal, at the end of each day, I want to go to bed knowing that I lived a good
22:09life that day.
22:10And I want to appreciate things before they're taken for granted.
22:14So I write down five things in each day that I'm thankful for and that I appreciate.
22:19And I find that I go to sleep happier.
22:22And then during the day, because I want to make my life easier at the end of the day, I try to
22:28focus on what's positive.
22:30What am I appreciating today?
22:32What am I thankful for today?
22:34And when you live your life like that every single day, it just shifts the attention away
22:39from the negatives.
22:40And it makes them a little bit less heavy.
22:57I truly believe, this is just my opinion, that you determine what your life looks like.
23:03Sure, this happened to me.
23:04I had no control over it.
23:06I didn't wish for it.
23:07I couldn't stop it and I can't change it.
23:08But I can change what the future looks like.
23:10I don't think that I would touch as many people if I was walking.
23:17If I was going out and you just saw me walking, I'm just a regular person.
23:22You don't know my story.
23:23I feel like I have a better impact and I can connect better with people and that I meet
23:29more incredible people being in a wheelchair.
23:32So recovery for me was accepting this life, accepting being in a wheelchair, being happy
23:38in this wheelchair, being happy in my body.
23:41That's recovery for me.
23:43That's recovery for me.
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24:37That's recovery for me.
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