- 7 weeks ago
Real and Genuine Testimony NDE TESTIMONY ¦ HELL IS SO DARK You can only Hear Cries but will never see the Fire.
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00:00It was back in March in 2017 and I was with who I thought was my friend, a drug buddy.
00:13She was a very bad heroin addict and I was just dabbling into it and she gave me a shot
00:22in my arm.
00:24It was that night when I realized how heavy I was, how deep I was, how dark I was, what
00:38a dark place it was that I was in.
00:41It wasn't until after she did it that all of a sudden I was woken up with water splashing
00:49on my face.
00:50I guess apparently I was on the kitchen floor.
00:53I woke up with her throwing water on me and after the, you know, she was slapping me and
00:59I woke up and I just remember her like, you're blue, you're blue, you know, and I was like,
01:05oh my gosh, you know, and she's like, you have to get out of here, get out of here.
01:11And so I said, I said, I need an ambulance.
01:13No, you got to get out of here.
01:15So her and a friend tried to drag me down the street and I said, I won't go.
01:19I was trying to fight until you call an ambulance.
01:20I won't go.
01:21And then I made sure that someone was on the phone with the ambulance.
01:24And then as I dragged my body down the worst street in Springfield, Missouri, they dumped
01:32my body like I was a bag of trash.
01:34Then they stripped me of everything that they wanted off of my body.
01:37It was then when I cried out and I said, Jesus, help me.
01:41And then all of a sudden, like I closed my eyes and it was like the dark, like all of
01:46a sudden I closed my eyes.
01:47All of a sudden my eyes got like really dark, which is like blacker than anything we've ever
01:55seen on earth.
01:57All of a sudden I felt like I was just falling.
02:02And I felt a little, I felt like a little bit of a chill, like a little bit of chill.
02:06And I don't, I, and I was falling.
02:08I felt so fearful.
02:11It was so black.
02:12You couldn't see your hand in front of your face.
02:15I am feeling it more.
02:16I'm feeling more, more, no, more scared than I've ever felt in my life.
02:19I just started falling and falling and falling into like darkness as it, as it started to
02:25get harder and harder and harder.
02:27And then all of a sudden, like, it was like I landed like a quicksand.
02:32All of a sudden my eyes, I felt like my eyes like start adjusting, like when you're, when
02:36you're trying to wake up, except reality felt more real than I've ever, ever felt in my life.
02:44So the first thing I did was I looked up and when I looked up, I thought I was looking at
02:51the sky, but it was pure, pure darkness, pure black.
03:00It literally, it literally hurt your senses.
03:02It felt like fiery darts, like literally coming in my eyes, fiery darts hitting all my senses,
03:08all my pores, every fiber of my being.
03:12Like it literally hurt so bad, just looking in the darkness.
03:18And I was, when I landed, I started looking and I, and I was like, realized I was like in
03:24like a pit, like a cave.
03:27And it was like, this cave was just fear, that fear instantly was like no fear I've ever felt
03:40fear.
03:41It was like, there was no presence of God there.
03:43My whole life, I used to struggle with anxiety and panic attacks.
03:47The worst panic attack that I've ever had on earth, I would times it by a billion and
03:50it's constant.
03:52It's constant, it's constant, constant.
03:55The fear is constant.
03:58The hopelessness, the hopelessness, the feeling of, oh my gosh, you just, you know, you're
04:05never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to get out.
04:09You are stuck.
04:11Like you are never going to get out.
04:12When I started focusing on where I was and I felt like I was about two football fields
04:18away and I still felt like an ant to when I looked up and I saw black gates, which looked
04:25like they had been like on fire.
04:27So they were like a charcoal and they were so, oh, the evil, oh, the evil.
04:33It's so hard to talk about.
04:34Talking about this experience is really hard whenever, because I've struggled with PTSD
04:43from it and this is why I'm really speaking about it now and I'm really trying to keep
04:46it together.
04:47It's really hard to explain it because you don't realize just how torturous it, I mean,
04:54you just, just torture.
04:56And not having the presence of God, you know, we have the presence of, even if you don't
05:00have God in your life, you know, even if you don't even believe in God, at least we
05:04have him on earth, you know, when it's such, so different when you're, when you're, you
05:09know, you're there.
05:10It was, it looked like it was just so big and it was decrepit and, and like each, each end,
05:15like it would go like that and each end would have spikes.
05:19It was like, I didn't have to move my head to look.
05:22My soul was so much more sensitive because right now, you know, the human canvas is, you
05:28know, what's covering our soul.
05:29And the thing is, is when I was down there, my soul felt so much more sensitive.
05:34And it was from there that, um, I looked through, it was like I could, I didn't walk towards
05:41the gates.
05:42It was, but I could see through the gates.
05:43It was like a lake.
05:45It was like a lake of fire, but it was like a, it was like a big pit, a big, huge pit
05:52of, of love, like fire.
05:53However, it was like, I couldn't see the flames.
05:57I just saw the shimmering light because the shimmering light looked as if like the pit was
06:03so deep that you couldn't see the flames.
06:07It was just, I had no idea how deep that, how deep it would be.
06:10Even if you don't even believe in God, your soul will know, your soul will know that you're
06:16in hell.
06:17And I was in hell.
06:19It was then I started looking, I started looking down because I was stuck.
06:23I thought, I felt like I was in quicksand.
06:25So I started looking around and I, I started noticing like, it was like waves of like, uh,
06:30like clay.
06:31It was like pink, like a salmon colored clay.
06:34I felt like I was in like the core of the earth or something because I felt like I, there
06:38was just absolutely no way you could get out.
06:40And it's on top of the fear, on top of the hopelessness, on top of feeling alone, on top
06:45of feeling stuck.
06:46My mind all of a sudden started replaying.
06:48I started replaying my life, replaying every sin that I have done.
06:53You relive it constantly.
06:55And it's so loud.
06:56You relive the feelings, your feelings.
06:58And the one that stuck in my mind the most was my mama.
07:03That's why I call her my mom.
07:05She's my mama.
07:06Um, and I could, my mama is a, she's a prayer warrior and, uh, she's been praying for me
07:12all these years to get out of this lifestyle and to get out of, away from drugs.
07:17And it was like, when I was in hell, I could hear her.
07:19Oh, Lisa, I wish you would listen and just come back to Jesus.
07:24And that's when all of a sudden I said, I wish I would have listened.
07:30And all of a sudden my body set on fire.
07:33My soul set on fire.
07:34And, um, when my soul set on fire, it was so much hotter.
07:41Cause I used to have, I used to have problems like cutting and burning myself because I
07:46hate myself.
07:46I know, like I know burns and stuff and there is nothing like your soul being on fire.
07:53It hurts so bad.
07:55Like you're just, it's, it's not, it can't even explain it.
07:58You can't even explain it.
07:59There is no way to explain the torture.
08:01Like I could hear myself screaming in my head.
08:05Oh, the thoughts were like, like if you put some headphones on or whatever and you're in
08:10your, in your ears and you were to like scream as loud as you can, it's like a billion times
08:16louder than that is what your thoughts, you're, you're, you're alone in your thoughts, you're
08:20alone in your sins.
08:22It's replaying over and over on top of fear, on top of hopelessness, on top of fire, hotter
08:27than you can ever imagine.
08:28I don't, I wouldn't wish hell on my worst enemy.
08:31And that's what I'm trying, that's the whole reason why I'm trying to tell the world is
08:38because there is a truly hell and it's so horrible and I don't want anyone to go if you don't believe
08:52in God.
08:54Oh, please ask Jesus into your heart and save you.
08:59If you do know God, oh, repent right now, ask for forgiveness.
09:04You never know when you're going to die.
09:07You never know when Jesus is going to come.
09:10You never know.
09:12And it was then that it got hotter and hotter and hotter.
09:15And I, I like my teeth were just gnashing.
09:17They were gnashing.
09:18I could feel like my teeth just breaking over and over.
09:21And your, your jaw's locked and you're screaming in your mind.
09:24There's no water.
09:25There's no water.
09:26You're, you feel, you feel as if your mouth is dry or your soul's dry.
09:31Your soul's so dry.
09:32If only I just had a drop of water, if only I just have a drop of water on my tongue,
09:38I would feel some kind of relief.
09:40It was then that all of a sudden the screaming continued.
09:45There's just constant crying, constant misery.
09:49You think about time you've cried, like the worst pain you've ever felt in your heart,
09:54like, like emotional pain.
09:56You're crying and heaving a billion times worth.
09:59When I say a billion times worth, I really mean it's a billion times worse than any negative
10:03thing.
10:03Every negative thing you've ever felt in your whole life, you will feel it, feel in hell
10:08and you will feel it a billion times and you will feel it forever and ever and ever and
10:16ever and ever, never.
10:17As I was screaming, as I was gnashing my teeth, as I was wishing, you know, the fear, the hope,
10:23hopelessness, everything.
10:24All of a sudden, I was just like, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, help me, Jesus.
10:32Jesus, save me.
10:34As I cried out to Jesus, immediately I was ripped from those flames and all of a sudden
10:40I was in an ambulance, like still felt on fire.
10:43And I was screaming in the ambulance.
10:45I looked and I saw a paramedic, didn't really know where I was at or what was going on.
10:53I was very confused.
10:54But I saw the kindness in her eyes and realized all of a sudden, like, wait a minute, I'm not
11:00in hell anymore.
11:02She was like, you, she was like, you're not on fire.
11:05She was like, you're not, you're not on fire.
11:07And she was like, you're okay, honey.
11:11And I was like, please, please, please, I don't want to go back there.
11:14Jesus, please don't let me go back there.
11:15Jesus, please forgive me of all my sins.
11:17Jesus, I don't want to go back there.
11:19Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
11:20The look on her face, if I could have like, if I could really, like, it was like a, like
11:25her eyes were really big and it was kind of like, she's just staring at me like, I don't
11:31know if she's ever seen anything like that before.
11:33But the reason, the reason why, you know, I've got to tell you the reason why I am
11:38speaking about my testimony is because I am a living, walking, breathing testimony of
11:45God's amazing grace, redemption.
11:50He has delivered me, um, completely of drugs and alcohol for over two years now.
11:57After this happened in 2017, I was like, never did heroin again.
12:02But it was still shedding off one by one the drugs because I had been on, I was taking
12:10so many drugs, each letting down, the Lord was helping me with each drug, putting down
12:15each drug.
12:16So it was like a, it's like a, you know, it was a transformation.
12:18It was like, you know, you feel the Holy Spirit, you know, just, okay, it's time to
12:23put that away.
12:24And I'm like, oh, what do you know I want?
12:26No, it's time to put it away.
12:28Okay, okay.
12:28And you love, you love Jesus so much for what he did for you that you just, um, you
12:34just, you just want to do whatever you can for us.
12:36You're like, okay, Jesus, I will.
12:39I have a relationship today with Jesus Christ.
12:43You know, I didn't transform overnight after that experience.
12:47Um, I had lots of, I had a lot of near-death experiences and, um, and the Lord saved me,
12:53saved me from it all.
12:54And as far as the, the Lord has delivered me, like, like literally take away all same-sex
13:01attraction, like desires away since 2017.
13:06It was as if he was just, I was shutting off the, the, the old, the old me, like a cocoon
13:13and you're, you know, the Lord's, you know, working on me and then you eventually come
13:17out like a butterfly.
13:18That's, that's how the Lord works.
13:20That's how Jesus works.
13:21And I've come here not to, not, not to do anything except for glorify the name of Jesus.
13:26You're never too far deep.
13:29You're never too far deep.
13:30I started, I was trying to get off of meth and I was, I was an IV, I was an IV addict
13:35of meth and it took me, uh, it took me a year, uh, overdose.
13:40And that was when I was like, God was like, this is it.
13:43You don't, you stop now or else.
13:46That's when I was like, okay, Lord, I need you to help me.
13:49And he has, you know, and just because, uh, you know, I've got good days, I've got bad
13:54days.
13:55Nobody's too far gone.
13:56As long as you have breath and you're in, in you right now, you're not watching
14:00this just by chance.
14:01You're watching this either because, because the Lord, you know, has guided you to this.
14:07Either you're living in a lifestyle that you don't want to be in.
14:11God delivered me from it.
14:12I don't have any desires for women at all.
14:15To me, they, they all are like sisters.
14:18You know, it's a sisterly love.
14:19It's completely different.
14:20At one point I was like, okay, I, I, I don't like women anymore.
14:25It's like, it's gross, but I hated men.
14:28But the Lord had slowly started healing my heart from all the, all the, the sexual abuse
14:34and molestation from my hatred towards men.
14:37And then it was like, slowly I started like, my eyes started kind of like, Ooh, that guy's
14:41cute.
14:41Whoa.
14:42How, oh my goodness.
14:43You know, I'm not used to that.
14:45So it was kind of like, it was, it was, it's been, it's been an amazing journey with Jesus.
14:51And if there's any family that are watching this, I just want you to know that if you have
14:56any family that are on drugs or in the lifestyle that I've lived at all, that there's, there's
15:03hope.
15:03If, if you're praying, if you're a mom, if you're whatever it is, if you're brother, sister,
15:08my dad, you're, and you're, you're my, my grandma, I had a praying grandma.
15:13All those prayers have worked.
15:14All those prayers worked.
15:16I mean, it was, I was at the gates of hell.
15:20I'm able, four and a half years, I'm able to, I'm able to finally speak about it.
15:25It's kind of hard to go back there once you've been, um, delivered and you don't have that
15:33fear anymore because you know, when you ask Jesus into your heart and you ask for his
15:38forgiveness and you just confess him Lord in your life.
15:43Um, it's, it's just that simple, you know, it's just that simple for God so loved the world
15:48that he gave his only begotten son, which is Jesus, that whosoever believes in him should
15:58not perish, but have everlasting life.
16:00And that's all it takes.
16:02That's all it takes.
16:03Just Jesus saves me.
16:04Jesus saved me.
16:06And I went through literally hell and back to realize how easy that was.
16:12That's all I really, that's all I needed to do.
16:14Say, Jesus save me.
16:16Anyone who knows me, knows that love being alive.
16:22I've got the joy of the Lord.
16:24God is my strength.
16:25I just hope my story, um, of what God has done for me will help give you, give you hope.
16:33And if you're feeling suicidal right now, ask Jesus to save you.
16:37I've been there.
16:38And if you have a, if you're a crying mother right now, your prayers are being heard.
16:42There's hope.
16:43I hope whoever watches this really see just how good my Jesus is.
16:50I just praise him and I glorify him.
16:53I am not turning back.
16:55I have come too far to look back.
16:58So that, that is, that is my story.
17:02And I'll end there.
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