- 5 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Here, place your mind.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:12Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29She's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care. That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't worry.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare.
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:22Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:32Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:39Right back at you.
00:01:41I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I hate you.
00:01:44I fucking hate you more.
00:01:45I hate you more.
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:12To be fair, we thought I was late.
00:02:14We'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:19It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I went in a cave.
00:02:31Come on, Gucci. Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:35Oh.
00:02:41Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:02:42You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:00It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:04The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:05I make my own money.
00:03:06Oh, you see, you see.
00:03:07Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:08I am the spokesperson for man thought.
00:03:09That means free underwear for life.
00:03:10For life.
00:03:11Some parents would be proud.
00:03:12Yeah.
00:03:13Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:15You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:18Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:22Mmm.
00:03:23All right.
00:03:24Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:25And don't be late.
00:03:26Bye, Dad.
00:03:27Bye, Dad.
00:03:28Excuse me.
00:03:30Excuse me.
00:03:54Excuse me.
00:04:02Hello, my Gucci.
00:04:06Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:09He used to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:14Like you, Amelia.
00:04:16Good one, Romulus.
00:04:24These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:38Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:41No problem.
00:04:42Cool. Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:50Hi. I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:59Uh, I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:04Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:08Where the hell were ya?
00:05:10Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:05:12You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Treppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:17I can meet him later.
00:05:19Nah, Suleyton's back on the plane again.
00:05:21Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:23Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:26You gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:28You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:32You interned.
00:05:33You went to business school.
00:05:35You...
00:05:36You have potential, okay?
00:05:37But you say you wanna be the CEO?
00:05:39Well, you're gonna have to prove it, cause so far...
00:05:42I ain't seen the end tape from you.
00:05:46But...
00:05:50Hey...
00:05:51You okay?
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:54Um...
00:05:55But...
00:05:56I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:58So, it's a...
00:06:13Really rare form of cancer.
00:06:17Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20Oh my god.
00:06:21There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:24But it's really expensive.
00:06:27And the insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:29Don't worry about that.
00:06:31I have money saved.
00:06:33I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're gonna get through this...
00:06:38Together.
00:06:41Yeah.
00:06:55Ciao Gucci!
00:06:56Did she have a good walk?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:07I'm sorry.
00:07:08This...
00:07:09No, no.
00:07:10Forget about it.
00:07:11I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:12The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:15I have a savings...
00:07:17For my doggy daycare.
00:07:18My dream, but...
00:07:22It's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:24And who knows how many she's gonna need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After our parents passed,
00:07:31I would do anything for her.
00:07:35Amelia...
00:07:36I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:39You do?
00:07:40Hmm.
00:07:42Come back...
00:07:43Tonight.
00:07:44And, uh...
00:07:46Make something nice.
00:07:49Come on, Peggy.
00:07:50Oh, Amelia.
00:07:51You look bellissima.
00:07:52Except for the dog hair.
00:07:54Come with me.
00:07:55I have someone I want you to meet.
00:07:56Are they from Italy?
00:07:57Yes.
00:07:58Wow.
00:07:59Yes, of course everything's from Italy here.
00:08:00Well...
00:08:01Well...
00:08:02Amelia, meet...
00:08:03My Phelangelo for my son.
00:08:04I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:05Mm-hmm.
00:08:06Yeah.
00:08:07Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:08I'm a dog walker.
00:08:09Well...
00:08:10I'm a dog walker.
00:08:11You look bellissima.
00:08:12Except for the dog hair.
00:08:13Well...
00:08:14Come with me.
00:08:15I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:16Are they from Italy?
00:08:17Yes.
00:08:18Wow.
00:08:19Yes, of course everything's from Italy here.
00:08:21Well...
00:08:22Amelia, meet...
00:08:23My Phelangelo for my son.
00:08:24I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:25Mm-hmm.
00:08:26Yeah.
00:08:27Are you a cleaning lady?
00:08:28I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:31I wasn't.
00:08:37Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:44That'd be really hard.
00:08:46Hey.
00:08:47Arrivederci, huh?
00:08:48Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:01What?
00:09:02Exactly.
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:11Not half bad.
00:09:13I mean...
00:09:14It's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:16Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:26You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:31Just a few more pictures.
00:09:33I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:35I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:46For me another.
00:09:48I told you I'm...
00:09:49Now.
00:09:51Fine.
00:09:59See?
00:10:00Dog Walker.
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:07This is fucking Prada!
00:10:08Who?
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:14You crazy bitch!
00:10:19Amelia!
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:22I asked her to pour me another drink.
00:10:24And she flipped out.
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus.
00:10:26But your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no.
00:10:29Please.
00:10:30I apologize.
00:10:31My son, he's just immature.
00:10:32Alright?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you to put forward it.
00:10:37Please.
00:10:38Alright?
00:10:39Just have a seat.
00:10:40Alright?
00:10:41And I promise.
00:10:42He'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:45So.
00:10:46Amelia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:52Yeah.
00:10:53And you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01I want the business.
00:11:03I think we can, uh, make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married, that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus.
00:11:23What are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:30Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Angela, look.
00:11:35You have to grow up before you can run our business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look, you know, my wife and I, we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah.
00:11:54We were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:57She sure drove me crazy when we first met her.
00:11:59I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:03But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah.
00:12:10Like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:13Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:15I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Well, you'll be able to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:12:29What's it gonna be?
00:12:34What's it gonna be?
00:12:38Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:41For Betsy.
00:12:42Well, Angelo, it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not gonna agree to marry her,
00:12:52then you're gonna lose the business.
00:12:55And you're also gonna lose your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it. Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:05Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:13:09The lawyers have already drafted the contract,
00:13:11and, son, we are gonna need some champagne.
00:13:15You're in my mind.
00:13:16Yeah.
00:13:17Try and make yourself look decent, Alan.
00:13:21You will be engaged for a period of 30 days,
00:13:24followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you,
00:13:28it's gonna be a big one for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Halloween Bowl's not booked.
00:13:33Anyway,
00:13:34you must move in together immediately
00:13:36to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:13:38Look, there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but, well, it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out to the public, right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:14:13Salute to the new couple.
00:14:15So, your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:30Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:32Okay.
00:14:42So, this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:45It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:15:02Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:15:03What's...
00:15:04What is this?
00:15:05Put it in the trash.
00:15:06This isn't trash.
00:15:07These are my sisters.
00:15:08She's an artist.
00:15:09So, put them in your room.
00:15:10I said you could live here,
00:15:11not decorate.
00:15:12Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:13Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:14That's man-thong.
00:15:15It's trademarked.
00:15:16Look, I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:17If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back,
00:15:18I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:19It's electric.
00:15:20Oh, by the way,
00:15:23I forgot the car.
00:15:27I'll go get the car.
00:15:41How can I get here?
00:15:42Hey, what are you doing?
00:15:44Oh, by the way, this is going to work.
00:15:48You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:51Gee, thanks.
00:15:52Welcome.
00:16:00You're getting married?
00:16:02Shh, Betsy.
00:16:03Don't tell the whole world.
00:16:05Sorry, Amelia.
00:16:06It's just...
00:16:08It's not like you.
00:16:10Actually, we're...
00:16:11reserved.
00:16:13Safe.
00:16:14Like I always taught you.
00:16:17Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:22And besides,
00:16:24Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:27So, I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:29Michelangelo?
00:16:31The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:33No.
00:16:34Michelangelo...
00:16:35Dino Villano? Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:39Michelangelo Dino Villano?
00:16:41Shh!
00:16:41Michelangelo?
00:16:42Michelangelo?
00:16:42How did you, like, start a hundred canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:49How did you even meet?
00:16:51His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:54It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:58He's so toxic.
00:17:01Speaking of the devil.
00:17:03Oh, yeah.
00:17:07You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:17:10This is a doctor's office.
00:17:13Amelia.
00:17:16Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:18Doctor's ready.
00:17:20We'll talk about this later.
00:17:22We're just going to wet, baby.
00:17:44We're already wet.
00:17:48Where did that come from?
00:18:05Nice place.
00:18:06I love the artwork.
00:18:23Thanks.
00:18:25Finally.
00:18:26We'll go with good taste.
00:18:28No, I'm good.
00:18:29We had plenty at dinner.
00:18:30Far for me.
00:18:31You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:34Mm-hmm.
00:18:35I'm good.
00:18:36I'm good.
00:18:37I'm good.
00:18:38You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:39Far for me.
00:18:40You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:43Mm-hmm.
00:18:44I'm good.
00:18:45Oh.
00:18:51Mm-hmm.
00:19:00Chantal.
00:19:01Who are you?
00:19:03Who are you?
00:19:04Chantal, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:09Amelia.
00:19:10roommate whatever can you guys just keep it down I have work tomorrow morning
00:19:18this is my house we will be as loud as we want to be scream at the top of our
00:19:24lungs you've got to be kidding me what's wrong dog walker he's jealous jealous
00:19:32I'm not jealous
00:19:36sweet dreams
00:19:40I can't believe he said I was jealous how could I ever want to be with a party boy like him
00:19:49even if he is kind of hot
00:19:51see you later and um don't worry about last night
00:20:02see you later and um don't worry about last night
00:20:14sorry I had one so many to drink it won't happen again
00:20:19how's the hangover roomie not now my head's killing me we need to talk about last night
00:20:37no what we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries
00:20:41I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos monogamy wasn't in the contract
00:20:46but your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage and you made it
00:20:50pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me
00:20:53fine I'll have her sign an nda just give me my phone
00:20:55my sister needs this money
00:20:58my sister needs this money michelangelo
00:21:04and if the paparazzi find out about this
00:21:06find out about this then the contract is violated
00:21:10then neither of us
00:21:12then the contract is violated
00:21:16then neither of us get what we want
00:21:18yeah no shit
00:21:19I'm serious
00:21:20get what we want
00:21:21yeah no shit
00:21:22I'm serious
00:21:23don't screw this up
00:21:25don't screw this up
00:21:28I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager
00:21:32I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager
00:21:35I know what I'm doing
00:21:36dog walker
00:21:37I know what I'm doing
00:21:39dog walker
00:21:40and just so we're clear
00:21:42I will fuck whoever I want
00:21:44and just so we're clear
00:21:45I will fuck whoever I want
00:21:47whenever I want
00:21:48whenever I want
00:21:49fine
00:21:51do whatever you want
00:21:52sorry
00:21:54it's a bit harsh
00:21:56sorry
00:22:00it's a bit harsh
00:22:01just really
00:22:02really
00:22:05I'm over
00:22:08hung over
00:22:11hung over
00:22:11that could have gone better
00:22:14that could have gone better
00:22:17thank you
00:22:24hey baby
00:22:26hey baby
00:22:29you think you don't have to keep working
00:22:31Amelia
00:22:32you're rich
00:22:33you don't have to keep working
00:22:34Amelia
00:22:34you're rich now
00:22:36I know
00:22:37I like it
00:22:38I know
00:22:40I like it
00:22:41it's good to hear
00:22:42you know
00:22:43I just hope that
00:22:44your work ethic
00:22:45rubs off on my son
00:22:47rubs off on my son
00:22:49tell me
00:22:50how are things going
00:22:51between the two of you
00:22:52huh
00:22:52how are things going
00:22:54between the two of you
00:22:55huh
00:22:55oh
00:22:56fine
00:22:57yeah
00:22:57we're
00:22:58oh
00:22:58fine
00:23:02yeah
00:23:03we're still getting to know each other
00:23:04alright
00:23:05well give him time
00:23:06still getting to know each other
00:23:07alright
00:23:08well give him time
00:23:10alright
00:23:10oh and listen
00:23:11he is not as bad as
00:23:13TMZ says
00:23:14alright
00:23:14look I
00:23:15I promise
00:23:16I wouldn't be so sure
00:23:18yeah
00:23:18you're right
00:23:19well we'll see you later
00:23:22yeah
00:23:22come on Gucci
00:23:23come on
00:23:24bye Gucci
00:23:25hey Amelia
00:23:30hey Jake
00:23:30Gucci no
00:23:33Royce
00:23:34see a bad dog
00:23:37but
00:23:37I'm not actually mad about this
00:23:39just to see you up close for once
00:23:41yeah
00:23:42same here
00:23:43sorry
00:23:51Gucci's um
00:23:52a bit crazy
00:23:53his whole family actually
00:23:56all these rich people are nuts
00:23:58they should make a reality show
00:24:00a little dog owners
00:24:01in Beverly Hills
00:24:03do you want to walk together
00:24:06let these two get to know each other
00:24:08yeah
00:24:09I'd like that
00:24:11so
00:24:17how long have you been a dog walker
00:24:19a couple months
00:24:20I like it
00:24:21I had a bunch of terrible gigs before
00:24:23barista
00:24:25Uber driver
00:24:26delivery guy
00:24:28movie extra
00:24:30you were in a movie
00:24:31actually it was a toothpaste commercial
00:24:33I was trying to impress you
00:24:34how about you
00:24:36how long have you been doing this
00:24:38I don't know
00:24:39my whole life I guess
00:24:41it started as a summer job
00:24:43and
00:24:43then I turned it into my own business
00:24:45I want to open a doggy daycare someday
00:24:47wow
00:24:48I guess you really like dogs
00:24:50well they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes
00:24:53if you want to hang out with this human sometime
00:24:58my band's playing at the Echoplex tonight
00:25:01do you want to go
00:25:02I kind of have to admit I
00:25:05had a crush on you
00:25:07you did?
00:25:10yeah
00:25:11I still do
00:25:13he's cute
00:25:17I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged
00:25:20then again
00:25:22that fuckboy has been out having fun
00:25:24I'd love to go to the concert
00:25:29hell yeah
00:25:30I mean uh
00:25:32regular
00:25:33yeah
00:25:34I know it's risky
00:25:38but
00:25:39I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo
00:25:41I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show
00:25:43hey what's your ring
00:25:46um
00:25:49it's
00:25:49just a class ring
00:25:51from high school
00:25:52looks pretty big
00:25:55it was a big school
00:25:56public schools
00:25:58am I right?
00:26:04I mean it kind of
00:26:05looks like an engagement ring
00:26:07me?
00:26:08engaged?
00:26:09no
00:26:09are you kidding?
00:26:10I'm 24
00:26:11I'm practically still a baby
00:26:13I mean I should be
00:26:14wearing diapers
00:26:15crawling around
00:26:17drooling
00:26:17nope
00:26:18single and ready to mingle
00:26:20okay
00:26:21Royce pooped
00:26:25you should pick it up
00:26:27where?
00:26:27I don't see it
00:26:28just over there
00:26:30do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:26:38of course
00:26:40of course
00:26:40it's an office
00:26:41you want to be CEO
00:26:42you gotta look the part
00:26:43you mean like
00:26:44you look like Willy Wonka
00:26:45without the chocolate factory?
00:26:48very funny
00:26:49you know I'm retiring next year
00:26:51yes I know
00:26:52yeah
00:26:52that means you gotta get up to speed
00:26:54rapidamente
00:26:55so today you're gonna be my shadow
00:26:56you'll be my extra hands
00:26:57and we got a lot to do
00:26:59can I get Starbucks first?
00:27:00fuck no
00:27:01come on dad
00:27:02wow
00:27:12oh my goodness
00:27:16are you okay?
00:27:18hi I'm Michelangelo
00:27:19you're engaged remember?
00:27:26and this is our new palette
00:27:30it's Matt's collection
00:27:33he really liked these colors
00:27:34so we did them twice
00:27:35but yeah
00:27:37that's the presentation
00:27:39from me
00:27:40Michelangelo
00:27:42what dad?
00:27:52what a day dad
00:27:53it's not even lunch time yet
00:27:55look at you
00:27:55you got so lazy
00:27:56just sitting around
00:27:57taking pictures of yourself
00:27:58all the time
00:27:59just stick with it
00:28:01will you kid?
00:28:02hard work does pay off
00:28:03let me just look at Amelia
00:28:05what about her?
00:28:07she comes from nothing son
00:28:08nobody taught her
00:28:09how to run a business
00:28:10but she just worked hard
00:28:12and now
00:28:12well now she earns money
00:28:14doing what she loves
00:28:15I guess that's impressive
00:28:17yeah see
00:28:18see it is
00:28:19I hope she rubs off
00:28:20on you a little
00:28:21you know
00:28:21I just hope I don't
00:28:23get that uptight
00:28:24break's over
00:28:31break's over
00:28:31well not too bad
00:28:48one day down
00:28:50forty more years to go
00:28:52now this is the time
00:28:56when you go home
00:28:58with Amelia
00:28:58you talk about
00:28:59the day's work
00:29:00raise you closer together
00:29:02comfort each other
00:29:04just like your mom and I
00:29:05used to do
00:29:06you know
00:29:08I'm thinking
00:29:09it's time for the world
00:29:11to meet
00:29:12Amelia
00:29:13tonight
00:29:14tonight
00:29:15tonight
00:29:16tonight
00:29:17shit
00:29:18when am I going to tell Chantel
00:29:19I promised we'd Netflix
00:29:21a bang tonight
00:29:22the LA Zoo fundraiser
00:29:23lights, camera, red carpet
00:29:25perfect time to announce
00:29:27our lovely new addition
00:29:28don't you think it's a bit soon
00:29:34dad
00:29:34I mean
00:29:34we just signed the contract
00:29:36what's the matter
00:29:37you're getting along
00:29:39aren't you
00:29:40yeah
00:29:40yeah
00:29:40just
00:29:41really starting to
00:29:42warm up to each other
00:29:44alright
00:29:44so it's all settled
00:29:45I'll see you at eight o'clock
00:29:47tonight
00:29:47in the limo
00:29:48and
00:29:48don't be late
00:29:50why dad
00:29:54so
00:30:05remind me
00:30:07why are we getting
00:30:09makeovers done again
00:30:10because I want to do
00:30:12something nice
00:30:12for my favorite big sister
00:30:14and
00:30:16and
00:30:17you know I never
00:30:18splurge on stuff like this
00:30:20but
00:30:20since I'm part of the
00:30:21Dina Lavino family now
00:30:23I think I can afford
00:30:24to let my hair down
00:30:25you better not let that
00:30:27hair down
00:30:27sorry
00:30:28just an expression
00:30:29how's it going in there
00:30:38I'm coming out
00:30:39that bad
00:30:50I've never seen a dog walker
00:30:53look this hot
00:30:55buy that dress
00:30:57ASAP
00:30:58leave me alone
00:31:03party boy
00:31:03I've got my own function
00:31:05tonight
00:31:05I'm coming out
00:31:06I'm coming out
00:31:07I'm coming out
00:31:38What are you looking at?
00:31:42You're spilling all over yourself.
00:31:44Thanks.
00:31:45Did you forget my name?
00:31:50No, it's just something different.
00:31:53Did you change your hair?
00:31:55Why do you care?
00:31:57The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:31:58I'm going out.
00:31:59I just forgot my charger.
00:32:00Awesome, thanks.
00:32:04I'm taking this.
00:32:06Wait, I've been calling you.
00:32:07We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:32:09I told you, I'm busy.
00:32:11Hold on.
00:32:14Amelia!
00:32:22All right, hey.
00:32:24Look who's right on time.
00:32:25Nice.
00:32:27Where's Amelia?
00:32:29She's sick.
00:32:30She can't make it.
00:32:32Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:32:33If your fiance is sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:32:37Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:32:38Give her some nice soup.
00:32:41I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:32:43Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:32:46Poor thing.
00:32:48Okay, Dad.
00:32:49See you in the office.
00:32:50Stupid dog walker?
00:32:57Tricking me with her makeover.
00:32:59I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:33:08Hey.
00:33:09It's Michelangelo, Dean Levino.
00:33:11You still track people?
00:33:12No.
00:33:12No.
00:33:12No.
00:33:12No.
00:33:12No.
00:33:12No.
00:33:13No.
00:33:13No.
00:33:14No.
00:33:14No.
00:33:14No.
00:33:15No.
00:33:15No.
00:33:16No.
00:33:16No.
00:33:16No.
00:33:17No.
00:33:17No.
00:33:17No.
00:33:18No.
00:33:18No.
00:33:19No.
00:33:20No.
00:33:21No.
00:33:22No.
00:33:23No.
00:33:24No.
00:33:25No.
00:33:26No.
00:33:27No.
00:33:28Wow.
00:33:29Amelia.
00:33:30Hi.
00:33:31You look like you just walked off a runway without a dog.
00:33:35Sorry.
00:33:36I don't come to concerts often.
00:33:38I kind of panicked.
00:33:39No worries.
00:33:40I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:33:43Yeah.
00:33:44But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:33:46Talk to the bartender.
00:33:48Wow.
00:33:49You had good treatment.
00:33:50You look like one.
00:33:51Thanks, Jamie.
00:33:53Hey.
00:33:54Lover boy.
00:33:55We're on.
00:33:56Gotta go.
00:33:57Find me in the green room after.
00:33:59Hope you like it.
00:34:00Break a leg.
00:34:01Lover boy.
00:34:02Yeah.
00:34:03Hope you like it.
00:34:04Break a leg.
00:34:05Lover boy.
00:34:07Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:34:28Good.
00:34:29Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:34:30Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:34:31One more, please.
00:34:32But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:34:35Jake.
00:34:36Jake.
00:34:37Jake.
00:34:38You guys are great.
00:34:39You really think so?
00:34:40I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:34:41The who?
00:34:42You don't know the strokes.
00:34:43Are they older?
00:34:44but that doesn't mean i'm not hooking up with jake tonight
00:34:51jake you guys are great you really think so i just feel like we're ripping off the strokes
00:35:05the who you don't know the strokes
00:35:10are they older i'm more of a top 40 kind of girl
00:35:15it's all right lots of stuff to introduce you to
00:35:20you want something to drink yeah thank you
00:35:24so when did you learn how to play guitar
00:35:33since i was 13. played in bands all through high school and college but
00:35:37like this one's finally going someplace that's awesome
00:35:41when i get my record deal i can finally quit my job focus on music full time
00:35:47you're gonna quit dog walking i thought you liked it
00:35:50i do but it's just another gig until i hit it big in music
00:35:54i don't even like dogs that much i'm more of a cat person
00:35:58a cat person
00:36:00who doesn't like dogs even michelangelo's good with gucci
00:36:06i don't want to talk about work tonight
00:36:09i just want to relax have a good time
00:36:13you're beautiful you know that
00:36:15i thought i wanted to hook up with jake
00:36:20now i'm not sure
00:36:21you have nothing in common
00:36:23is it weird that i feel a tiny bit guilty
00:36:25the heck
00:36:30i'm tipsy and he's cute
00:36:31michelangelo had his fun
00:36:33now i can have mine
00:36:34looks like someone needs obedience
00:36:50what's going on
00:36:53that's michelangelo dina lavino the nepo baby underwear model
00:36:57he's not
00:36:58you're coming with me dog walker
00:37:00don't make me get the leash
00:37:01what the hell michelangelo
00:37:03back off dude
00:37:05back off
00:37:06grubby little hipster
00:37:07she's my fiance
00:37:08so that was an engagement ring
00:37:11jake i can explain
00:37:12let's go
00:37:15i'm really sorry jake
00:37:18i'm not jake
00:37:19this
00:37:24is for making me uber
00:37:26all the way to fucking sober mic
00:37:27and this is for making me listen to you
00:37:31i can't believe you did that
00:37:38after your high and mighty speech
00:37:40you're such a hypocrite
00:37:41yeah well i don't have the paparazzi following me around
00:37:44just an italian american psycho
00:37:45i'm not following you around
00:37:48you know what i get it
00:37:50you saw me with chantelle last night
00:37:52and now you're jealous
00:37:53me jealous
00:37:56did you see the way that you were acting around jake
00:37:58like i would ever fuck a dog walker
00:38:01i am more than a dog walker you playboy prick
00:38:03i have a name
00:38:04wait what are you doing
00:38:06that is an original
00:38:07i'm so sick of your bullshit
00:38:09oh fine
00:38:11i'll just hop in my time machine
00:38:13go back to ancient rome
00:38:14and get another one
00:38:15i don't care about your art
00:38:16your money
00:38:16your stupid mansion
00:38:17you're treating me
00:38:18like shit
00:38:19that's from the renaissance
00:38:21you're history's worst nightmare
00:38:23i tried to make this work with you
00:38:25we signed a contract
00:38:26for an arranged marriage
00:38:27did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction
00:38:31you are such a simpleton
00:38:33wait wait wait wait
00:38:36well at least i'm not a spoiled brat
00:38:39i tried to get along with you
00:38:41you brought this on to yourself
00:38:42i wish i never agreed to this awful engagement
00:38:44right back at you
00:38:45i fucking hate you
00:38:48i fucking hate you more
00:38:50I get in with you
00:39:08i wish i didn't care about what you
00:39:13you want которое to say
00:39:15If you want to see
00:39:45where am I who's spooning me is that Jake how drunk was I
00:40:06Michelangelo dog walker oh I forgot we did that last night
00:40:12must have been all those free beers
00:40:16uh-huh we don't have to talk about this right we had too many drinks just forget it ever happened
00:40:24if that's what you want definitely um I have to go to work I should get up too oh my head
00:40:36there's pedialite in the fridge thanks for coming today sis of course my doctor did say I needed
00:40:45lots of exercise well you look great thanks don't feel great the treatment's taking a lot out of me
00:40:56you on the other hand are glowing today what's going on so michelangelo and I had sex last night
00:41:08wait for the first time yeah we're taking it slow michelangelo
00:41:18the male gigolo taking it slow
00:41:22maybe I did misjudge him
00:41:25and how was it well really bad right I knew it actually
00:41:34it was the best sex I ever had well that explains the glow
00:41:39I am happy for you sis physical chemistry is important that's actually what I wanted to talk
00:41:48to you about I don't get it he and I are nothing alike and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons
00:41:54I feel like like an arcade game and he just keeps getting the high score again and again and
00:41:59you get the picture hey
00:42:05opposite to truck I mean that's why you guys love each other so much
00:42:11they're so different something like that
00:42:14here comes right on the schedule dog walkers in love with me
00:42:28I'll have to let her down easy weird I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning
00:42:41what was that about must be the hangover
00:42:54hey I'd like to hang out tonight maybe we can finish what we started last time
00:43:08hey unfortunately something came up I can't make it tonight
00:43:18why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker and why hasn't she texted me yet
00:43:34why can't I stop thinking about it in the comments
00:43:39okay
00:43:44hey
00:43:47hi
00:43:49we should talk
00:43:50talk about us i'm not very good with words me neither but last night i you don't have to say
00:43:59anything we both know it was a mistake and we can just go back to hating each other like nothing
00:44:05ever happened i don't think you understand if you just listen to me for a second you don't have to
00:44:10worry about me catching feelings i'm a big girl i've had a one night stand before i've never been
00:44:16with someone like you before okay i get it i'm not one of your your models or your your d-list
00:44:22actresses you don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily i know that if you
00:44:28would take back last night that you would frankly so would i i mean you're driving me nuts you don't
00:44:34understand let's let's get some takeout and figure this thing out i don't need you to mansplain my
00:44:39own feelings to me wait did you just call me amelia
00:44:44what happened to dog walker i have a confession to make
00:44:51last night i don't know how i don't know why
00:44:58that was the best sex i've ever had in my life
00:45:02really do i look like i'm lying i'm not a good actor i could even do reality tv
00:45:11but there is a fire between us amelia some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry
00:45:19you sound like you're reading a horoscope amelia please i know you felt it too
00:45:29amelia please don't act like you didn't feel it too
00:45:38i felt it too
00:45:41so why are we fighting it i've been thinking about you all day
00:45:49me too
00:45:51you
00:46:04you
00:46:08you
00:46:12you
00:46:16so i set the kitchen on fire how am i supposed to know you're not supposed to
00:46:30lot fireball shots on fire it's not my fault they should change the name
00:46:35no wonder they canceled vanderpump's super yacht
00:46:39if you think that's funny just wait till the next episode the captain gets super drunk off espresso
00:46:44martinis and he almost sinks the boat
00:46:46you
00:46:52you know when you're not acting like a complete douchebag you're not so bad
00:46:58thanks
00:47:00you know we could actually try this
00:47:02hey if the sex stays this good i'm open for anything
00:47:06i'm serious
00:47:08the wedding's coming up
00:47:10we could give it a shot
00:47:12you mean like you and me together together
00:47:16why not
00:47:18were you planning on marrying someone else
00:47:20you
00:47:30you
00:47:32oh
00:47:34gucci what's the rush
00:47:36oh
00:47:38hey royce
00:47:42jake
00:47:44how's it going
00:47:46good
00:47:47yeah
00:47:48look the other night was kinda
00:47:50crazy
00:47:51i know
00:47:52i should have told you about michelangelo
00:47:54we were kind of
00:47:56we were kind of in a fight
00:47:58i'm sorry for bringing you into this
00:48:00is he always like that
00:48:02so aggressive and controlling
00:48:04i couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that
00:48:06he was like a caveman lugging home his woman
00:48:10well i am his woman
00:48:12he saw us together and he got jealous
00:48:14and i don't blame him
00:48:16oh my god
00:48:18am i actually sticking up for michelangelo dinovolino
00:48:22i didn't mean a pride
00:48:24just wanted to make sure everything's okay
00:48:26i'm here if you need to talk
00:48:28thanks jake
00:48:30but i'm engaged
00:48:32remember
00:48:34and the only person i want to talk to is my fiance
00:48:36i thought we had a connection
00:48:38you're a cat person
00:48:40it never would have worked
00:48:42come on gucci
00:48:44let's go
00:48:48cats are awesome
00:48:50wow
00:48:52that was a
00:48:54great presentation
00:48:56the marketing director loved your ideas for the new line
00:48:58you think so
00:49:00ooh
00:49:01maybe i'm finally starting to get a hang of this ceo thing
00:49:04oh yeah yeah
00:49:05now listen
00:49:06i gotta fly to paris for a few days
00:49:08you mind watching your little brother for me
00:49:10gucci? sure
00:49:11gucci? sure
00:49:12but i mean
00:49:13you know dogs are more Amelia's specialty
00:49:15yeah
00:49:16but that's how you impress her
00:49:17you invite her for a romantic date
00:49:19at the dog park
00:49:21at the dog park
00:49:22mhm
00:49:23i just texted her
00:49:24it's all set
00:49:25now
00:49:27go get her lover boy
00:49:29so
00:49:39so
00:49:40you just throw it and he brings it back
00:49:42you've never played fetch before?
00:49:45it's
00:49:46it's my dad's dog
00:49:47not mine
00:49:49let me try
00:49:50that's okay
00:49:51that's okay
00:49:52i know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands
00:49:59do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:50:02no
00:50:03i like my work
00:50:05what's the point of working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:50:10you're right i should work less
00:50:13if nothing else
00:50:15you're letting me get closer to my little brother
00:50:20fetch gucci
00:50:25i've got a big surprise
00:50:28a surprise?
00:50:30just wait and see
00:50:31happy
00:50:37have a good night mr... dennovelino
00:50:43what's that?
00:50:45special delivery from masterione's italian deli
00:50:49look gucci
00:50:51it's your favorite prosciutto
00:50:53you know that's awful for dog
00:50:55i know what are you seeing?
00:50:57spanish
00:50:59You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:51:02I thought you were off the clock today.
00:51:06Besides, a special occasion.
00:51:09I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:51:14I'm kidding.
00:51:16This is for us. Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:51:19What else is in the bag?
00:51:21Just some imported Italian ingredients, so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:51:25You can cook?
00:51:29That was so good.
00:51:42I feel like I just went to Italy even though I've never been.
00:51:46How did you do this? I can't cook at all.
00:51:49Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:51:52Did you learn in culinary school?
00:51:54No. My mom taught me.
00:51:56Tell me about her.
00:51:58I've never told a girl about my mom.
00:52:02Sorry. I don't mean to pray.
00:52:05She passed away when I was 11. Breast cancer.
00:52:11I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:52:13She grew up in a little village in Tuscany and she taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:52:19We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:52:24I still have all of her recipes. Here. Handwritten in Italian.
00:52:31That's really special.
00:52:34I miss her.
00:52:37This might sound corny, but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:52:42It's not corny. But I didn't know you were such a softy.
00:52:47Just don't tell TMZ.
00:52:49What about your parents?
00:52:52My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:52:57It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:52:59I'm sorry.
00:53:01I just really hope these treatments work.
00:53:06I don't want to lose her too.
00:53:09I'm sorry.
00:53:10Your story made me emotional.
00:53:12I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:53:14I'll help you.
00:53:15No. No, it's fine.
00:53:16I like doing the dishes.
00:53:17It relaxes me.
00:53:19Good.
00:53:20Because I hate them.
00:53:21Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:53:28Is it just the wine?
00:53:29Or am I really falling for him?
00:53:32Her.
00:53:45Hey.
00:53:47Hey.
00:53:48Do you want an espresso?
00:53:50I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:53:52No, thank you.
00:53:53Me and Dad have a morning meeting.
00:53:54I'm kind of in a rush.
00:53:55Okay.
00:53:56Well, don't forget Gucci.
00:53:57How could I?
00:54:00Ready, bro?
00:54:02Well, let me fix your tie.
00:54:05What do you know about ties?
00:54:07You wear t-shirts to work.
00:54:09And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:54:12Touche.
00:54:14There you go.
00:54:15Okay, bye.
00:54:16Bye.
00:54:19Love you.
00:54:20Love you.
00:54:21Love you too.
00:54:31Sorry.
00:54:32It's reflex.
00:54:33I didn't mean to say that.
00:54:34Me neither.
00:54:35Too soon.
00:54:37Talk about it later?
00:54:39Yeah.
00:54:41Okay.
00:54:42Could that have been any more awkward?
00:54:45And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:54:53Look who's here.
00:54:55Hey, my little guy.
00:54:57Hey, little Gucci.
00:54:58Look at this right here.
00:55:00Huh?
00:55:02Let's try it.
00:55:04Oh, yeah.
00:55:05Now, here's mine.
00:55:07Right?
00:55:08Just like that.
00:55:09Huh?
00:55:10Yeah.
00:55:11Even got one for Big Brother.
00:55:12Right there.
00:55:14Come to Papa.
00:55:15Yes, my boy.
00:55:16All right.
00:55:17All right.
00:55:18All right.
00:55:19All right.
00:55:20So, we got to talk about this wedding, right?
00:55:22This is two weeks off.
00:55:24Hollywood Bowl.
00:55:25They're waiting for an answer.
00:55:26And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane.
00:55:29He says that the band is free.
00:55:32You like Coldplay, right?
00:55:34Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:55:37Cool.
00:55:39Well, all right.
00:55:40Then we'll book the Magic Castle.
00:55:41How about that?
00:55:42Not too big.
00:55:43Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:55:45Dad, let's just pump the brakes.
00:55:47We cannot plan a wedding like this.
00:55:49What?
00:55:50Something wrong with family?
00:55:52No.
00:55:53Everything is great.
00:55:55It's better than great, honestly.
00:55:57But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding.
00:56:00That's our thing.
00:56:03It's not Amelia's thing.
00:56:05I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:56:08Wow.
00:56:09I never thought of that.
00:56:11You know, you have a very good point there.
00:56:14I'm very impressed.
00:56:17You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:56:21I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl.
00:56:24Sounds like you might be falling in love.
00:56:27Love?
00:56:29Yeah, love.
00:56:31I don't know.
00:56:33He's so cute.
00:56:34All right, all right.
00:56:36Change of deal.
00:56:37Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl.
00:56:39All right?
00:56:40And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair.
00:56:43A wedding with Coldplay.
00:56:46No Coldplay, Dad.
00:56:48No Coldplay.
00:56:49No And I had seen her.
00:56:54So…
00:56:56It's about my cancer treatment.
00:56:58It's not working.
00:56:59I know it.
00:57:00I talked to my doctors yesterday…
00:57:01I know it. I talked to my doctors yesterday.
00:57:06And I'm cured.
00:57:07What? You're cured?
00:57:12Congratulations. Thank you.
00:57:15I wasn't expecting it. I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:57:20It only took two sessions? I almost had enough in my savings to cover that.
00:57:26Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money.
00:57:28What's wrong, sis? We should be celebrating.
00:57:32I brought Prosecco.
00:57:34No, yeah. No, I'm good.
00:57:37Yeah.
00:57:38Amelia, I'm your sister. You can tell me anything.
00:57:43Is it Michelangelo? Is everything okay?
00:57:47If that punk pretty boy hurts you, I will take that man thong and give him a wedgie so far up his butt that it will cut him in two.
00:57:54It's not Michelangelo, Betsy.
00:58:00It's me.
00:58:02I have to tell you something.
00:58:08I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage!
00:58:14What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:58:16It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments.
00:58:18And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:58:22Actually, he's not that bad.
00:58:26I kind of like him.
00:58:28Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome.
00:58:31We need to get you out of there.
00:58:33Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:58:37But, what about the tabloid stories?
00:58:42You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World.
00:58:45They banned him for life.
00:58:48You'll never go to Epcot.
00:58:50He's not actually like the stories.
00:58:52Or, at least not to me.
00:58:55He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:58:58Amelia, if you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:59:06What if you meet him?
00:59:08Yeah.
00:59:09Meet him.
00:59:11Maybe he'll change your mind.
00:59:12Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:59:14Don't count on it.
00:59:15Please, me, just give him a chance.
00:59:19Fine.
00:59:21Yes.
00:59:22Only one.
00:59:23Yes.
00:59:23You won't regret it.
00:59:27I'm going to go get the Prosecco.
00:59:31You better bring the whole bottle.
00:59:36Thank you for making dinner.
00:59:38Of course.
00:59:39I'm glad she's cancer-free.
00:59:41We need to celebrate.
00:59:45Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:59:50You mean besides me?
00:59:51I'm serious.
00:59:52It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:59:55Have a glass of wine.
00:59:58Tonight's going to be great.
01:00:09It's enormous.
01:00:12Why would anybody need so much room?
01:00:17It's nice to see you too, sis.
01:00:19Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
01:00:26So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
01:00:35How about we start off with a glass of champagne?
01:00:3796 Dom Perignon?
01:00:39Amelia said that's the year that you were born.
01:00:40Yeah, sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff.
01:00:44It's worth more than my car.
01:00:46Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
01:00:50$8.99 at Ralph's.
01:00:52It's delicious.
01:00:55This was made in France.
01:00:57Sorry.
01:00:57Can't touch that stuff.
01:00:59So, who wants a drink?
01:01:02Okay.
01:01:02Okay.
01:01:02Okay.
01:01:02Okay.
01:01:02Okay.
01:01:03Okay.
01:01:03Okay.
01:01:04Okay.
01:01:04Okay.
01:01:04Okay.
01:01:05Okay.
01:01:06Okay.
01:01:07Okay.
01:01:08Okay.
01:01:09Okay.
01:01:10So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
01:01:40You don't mind, do you?
01:01:42Fire away.
01:01:45So, I know you two have been having your...
01:01:48fun.
01:01:50Um, but...
01:01:51what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:01:56I don't think it's going to.
01:01:59That's cute and all, but...
01:02:01what about her career?
01:02:03Are you gonna support her?
01:02:04Or kids?
01:02:05What's your stance on that?
01:02:06Or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:02:11Betsy!
01:02:11Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
01:02:17We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
01:02:21See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
01:02:23You two are getting married and you barely know each other.
01:02:27We don't know.
01:02:28Easy Betsy.
01:02:31I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
01:02:34And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
01:02:38And what makes you such an expert?
01:02:41I don't see a ring on your finger.
01:02:43Michelangelo.
01:02:44You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
01:02:47It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
01:02:48She gets it from you.
01:02:50Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:02:53You started it.
01:03:00Why don't we all just calm down?
01:03:03Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:03:05No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:03:09That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:03:11She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:03:13You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:03:15And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:03:18You know what?
01:03:19You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:03:21That's my sister.
01:03:22She just survived cancer.
01:03:26That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:03:29This is my house too, and she can say whatever she wants.
01:03:32Not to me.
01:03:33You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:03:34I don't like this side of you.
01:03:36See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other,
01:03:39but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:03:41You told her?
01:03:42She's my sister.
01:03:44I don't care.
01:03:44That violates our agreement.
01:03:46Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:03:47A contractual agreement?
01:03:49Some kind of obligation?
01:03:50It's not what I meant.
01:03:52It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:03:54I love you.
01:03:55You love me?
01:03:57Don't listen to him.
01:03:58He doesn't even know what that means.
01:03:59Shut the fuck up!
01:04:01You know what?
01:04:03Maybe she was right.
01:04:04I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:04:05It's over.
01:04:11We need to get out of here.
01:04:15I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix
01:04:17to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets.
01:04:19Amelia, I know this is hard to hear,
01:04:27but you did the right thing.
01:04:30You could do so much better than him.
01:04:33Yeah.
01:04:34But he isn't a monster.
01:04:36I shouldn't have said that.
01:04:38We can talk about it on the road.
01:04:40Get packing, and if we leave now,
01:04:42we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:04:44Lay low for a bit.
01:04:45Mexico?
01:04:46Or Canada.
01:04:47Whatever.
01:04:48It's that, or stay here and get sued
01:04:50by the Dino Lavinos.
01:04:53Or worse.
01:04:54I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:04:57I mean, I only told you about the contract.
01:04:59It's not like I told the media.
01:05:01You don't know that.
01:05:04We're liabilities.
01:05:06Lose ends.
01:05:07You should listen to more True Kind podcast.
01:05:13Get rid of that thing.
01:05:15They could be tracking us right now.
01:05:18Yeah, you know,
01:05:19Michelangelo did manage to follow me
01:05:21to the ecoplex the other day.
01:05:23See?
01:05:24He could have a sniper on us.
01:05:30It's Romulus.
01:05:31Hey, Romulus.
01:05:34What?
01:05:34What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:05:36You came.
01:05:51Against my better judgment.
01:05:54I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:05:56I've just been busy, but
01:05:58it's over with now.
01:06:02You should
01:06:03punish me for straying.
01:06:06You make me sick.
01:06:09I make me sick.
01:06:10Nice underwear.
01:06:22It's a great craftsmanship.
01:06:28Okay.
01:06:29Let's get this over with.
01:06:30Is that all you have to say?
01:06:36Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:06:39I'm sorry.
01:06:41Chantel.
01:06:41I thought I wanted this.
01:06:46But I don't.
01:06:49I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:06:50Amelia broke up with me.
01:06:59It feels like she's stomping on my heart
01:07:01with one of your shoes.
01:07:05Never in a million years
01:07:06did I think I'd fall for dog walk
01:07:07with my hair.
01:07:08I am fucking devastated.
01:07:11And all her wishes
01:07:11I could take back how I acted.
01:07:14And she just wanted to come back to me.
01:07:16There.
01:07:26Amelia?
01:07:28Hi, Dad.
01:07:31Gucci's gone?
01:07:32I'll be right there.
01:07:39I...
01:07:40Romulus.
01:07:42What?
01:07:43Oh.
01:07:44Oh.
01:07:45What?
01:07:46Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:07:49We're practically in the house, and then all of a sudden,
01:07:52he just shot off like a rocket.
01:07:54I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back!
01:07:58Well, we can help you find him.
01:08:01Yeah?
01:08:01Right?
01:08:04Good, thanks.
01:08:06Gucci!
01:08:06This better not be a trap.
01:08:08Just come on.
01:08:12Gucci!
01:08:13Gucci!
01:08:14Hey, hey, hey!
01:08:15Where's Michelangelo?
01:08:16Huh?
01:08:17I thought you were both together.
01:08:18Why isn't he here with you?
01:08:19Oh, um, he's...
01:08:21Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:08:23Where were you?
01:08:24I had to stop for late-night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:08:28It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:08:29If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:08:33Smart move, dude.
01:08:34Here, ladies, take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:08:37Yeah, that's it.
01:08:42Amelia.
01:08:42Gucci!
01:08:53Gucci!
01:09:02We've been looking for him all night long.
01:09:04We're never gonna find him.
01:09:07Don't give up, Dad.
01:09:08He's just off having a little adventure.
01:09:10Keep looking.
01:09:11He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:09:14See?
01:09:14They're not gonna kill us.
01:09:16I do have to admit, though,
01:09:18I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:09:21He's really there for his dad.
01:09:24His dad's dog.
01:09:26So you approve now?
01:09:28They didn't say that.
01:09:28Gucci!
01:09:32Gucci!
01:09:35Gucci!
01:09:36My boy's back!
01:09:38Oh!
01:09:44Okay, okay.
01:09:47I'm a little closer to approving.
01:09:50I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:10:04A little.
01:10:06It's okay.
01:10:07Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:10:10They just leave out part of the story.
01:10:13Amelia,
01:10:13can we talk?
01:10:18Please?
01:10:20Okay.
01:10:28Okay.
01:10:37Amelia,
01:10:37I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:10:42I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:10:45and I shouldn't have blown up at you
01:10:46for mentioning the contract.
01:10:47I hope that you know you
01:10:52mean so much more to me
01:10:53than just a business agreement.
01:10:56Thanks for saying that.
01:10:59I needed to hear that.
01:11:02And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:11:05You're not one.
01:11:08I'm still learning new things about you.
01:11:09Most of them are good.
01:11:14I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:11:17I'm not.
01:11:20You're not?
01:11:21What do you mean?
01:11:25Amelia,
01:11:25this might sound crazy,
01:11:27but
01:11:27I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:11:30And I don't want some silly piece of paper
01:11:34to be the reason that we stay together.
01:11:38I want to know that our love is real.
01:11:42Dad.
01:11:43What is it, son?
01:11:45I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:11:49Why, son?
01:11:49Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:11:54And not because of some legal obligation,
01:11:58but because she wants to.
01:12:06Consider our contract null and void.
01:12:15Amelia,
01:12:16where will it be?
01:12:18Will you marry me?
01:12:25Will you marry me?
01:12:28Yes.
01:12:29I'll marry you.
01:12:45You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:12:48And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:12:51Look at me.
01:12:53I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:12:57All right, all right, you two.
01:12:59That's enough, all right?
01:13:00We spent this whole night together.
01:13:02Come over to my place, all right?
01:13:04We'll have a nice breakfast,
01:13:06Italian style.
01:13:08Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:13:10I think I can get used to it.
01:13:12And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:13:15I want to hear from everybody involved,
01:13:18especially Coldplay.
01:13:20We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:13:22It was worth a try.
01:13:23And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:13:51Michelangelo?
01:13:55Amelia,
01:13:56even though we're far from a perfect couple,
01:14:00we're perfect together.
01:14:02I've learned so much from you
01:14:06in such a short amount of time
01:14:07and not just about dogs.
01:14:11I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:14:17I'm looking forward to your support and counsel
01:14:22as I take over the family business from my father this year
01:14:25and in return,
01:14:27I promise to be patient and a loving husband
01:14:34as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare
01:14:37you've always dreamed of.
01:14:43Amelia,
01:14:44you are the only thing better than free underwear.
01:14:49I love you so much.
01:14:50I never thought I would end up
01:14:58with a former man thong model,
01:15:00but here we are.
01:15:03Michelangelo,
01:15:04you've helped me come out of my shell
01:15:06and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest,
01:15:08something I hope to do more of
01:15:09on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:15:10And although we haven't spent much time together,
01:15:18it feels like a lifetime in a good way.
01:15:22I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:15:24Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:15:26I love you.
01:15:27With the power vested in me by almighty God
01:15:30and the city of Beverly Hills,
01:15:31I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:15:35You may kiss your bride.
01:15:44Thanks.
01:15:46I'm Betsy.
01:15:48Amelia's sister.
01:15:49I'm Jake.
01:15:50Another dog walker.
01:15:51It's crazy,
01:15:54you know,
01:15:54giving my sister.
01:15:55I've always been more of a cat person.
01:15:58Me too.
01:16:01Love.
01:16:03Love.
01:16:03Love.
01:16:03Love.
01:16:04Thank you so much for joining us.
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