- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09It's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um, no.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:12You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39Actually, I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Stop Shop 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08It's not easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you?
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Yeah.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:21Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:38Um...
06:40We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well...
07:05Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:09Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:12I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:15Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:34Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With the fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:48Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:28No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing with that.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:39We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:46I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry.
08:49I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:56Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:58When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:02I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You started all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still have time for math leads.
09:11I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too cool for school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coral.
09:29Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:33No, I'm serious.
09:34I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:45We're here.
09:47We're here.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:09When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for them.
10:12funky
10:42I'm gonna give this drinks. I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You in the town, hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together. Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:40He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:48It's time to AF this party up.
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Woo!
11:59I knew!
12:01Let's play.
12:05I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:07So, wait. Why don't you go first?
12:22Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:27Ooh, cute. Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Ooh!
12:38Okay.
12:40Ooh!
12:41Cute. Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Ooh!
12:50Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Ooh!
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:14I'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Hey, Claire.
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything. It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:42Brutal. And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was gonna be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:51Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing out around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where,
14:09you're probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:14So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:35Of course.
14:36What?
14:37Just...
14:38Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?
14:39Home.
14:40And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:42I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:47You just left me in there.
14:50I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right. Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan... this... it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there.
15:09So, why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app.
15:13Because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that? Look, I know I'm just another number user.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:29Alright?
15:31I want...
15:33a real one.
15:37I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:41Well, maybe I realize that...
15:44you're the risk worth taking.
15:46Come on.
15:55Slap Shot 239.
16:00Pick me home.
16:07Come on.
16:09Slap Shot239.
16:10Pick me home.
16:17Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:19Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:22They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay, I'm trusting the process.
16:27I'm just glad we get to go stag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date, but Thayman's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changes mine, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way! I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:47And, of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:55Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:58At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:02Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:17I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon. My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:42I mean, at least he's hot.
17:44So hot.
17:46It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began.
18:01Jay-Zoey.
18:03Jay-Zoey. Absolutely not.
18:06Well, more Zoe for me.
18:09Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon!
18:14Oh, it's Damon!
18:16Or should I say Clareman?
18:18Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can. Clareman.
18:22But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:24Okay. Bye!
18:26Hey, beautif-
18:28What's up with your eyes?
18:30It's not finished yet.
18:32You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:35Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes!
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies. Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone. I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jay-
18:59Yep, there's Jay, bouncing off the walls. Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:10Chelsea's been soft ghosting him. I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be? Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:22I bet that is it.
19:24She's gonna be so pissed if I win. Queen for the night. She's gonna be so pissed if I win. Queen for the night. And then, you know, for the rest of the school year because I would have to play in prom and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen and then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could you not be?
19:47Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:03Wow! And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, um, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance together and get a cheese board and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:24Oh, look. Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean- Claire!
20:28Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire!
20:41Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa.
20:46Did- did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:51Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04Oh, we're gonna win.
21:05Is Chelsea gonna be upset if, when, we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire.
21:23I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but...
21:28I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I-I would.
21:35It's fine.
21:37It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just...
21:40At least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:44Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:57Jinx!
21:59Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa.
22:05Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah.
22:10I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah.
22:21You neither.
22:24I...
22:25Hope we win, so we at least get one dance together.
22:30Well, how about either way, we make it happen.
22:33One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:42It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:49What?
22:50You mean...
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:56My eyes!
23:01What, like, you can do better?
23:03Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see.
23:07By all means.
23:11Oh, uh, sorry.
23:13Chelsea's calling me.
23:14I should get it.
23:16I'll see you later?
23:17Yeah.
23:18Yeah.
23:19Yeah.
23:20See ya.
23:21Yeah.
23:23See ya.
23:24Hello!
23:26Oh, my God.
23:28Hi.
23:29I'm sorry.
23:30I'm sorry.
23:31Chelsea's calling me.
23:32I should get it.
23:33I'll see you later?
23:34Yeah.
23:35Yeah.
23:36See ya.
23:38Hello?
23:40Hello?
23:42Hello?
23:44Yeah.
23:45Oh, my God.
23:47I'm sorry.
23:48What?
23:49Hello? Hello?
23:52Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:55Wow. You look incredible.
23:58Thanks. Are you... are you going somewhere?
24:02Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:05Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:08I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and...
24:13I don't know, I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too. I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20God, how do you... how do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?!
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43My grandmothers are just cute.
24:45Wait, what?
24:46Nothing. Nothing.
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie.
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:55And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:58Okay.
24:59Okay.
25:00Okay.
25:01This part always gets me.
25:03Yes!
25:04Yes!
25:05Yes!
25:06It is so sad.
25:07Are you watching hockey right now?
25:08What?
25:09No.
25:10I mean, I'm not watching hockey.
25:11I'm not watching hockey.
25:12Come on, babe.
25:13Tell me some slack.
25:14It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:15This is a classic, Damon.
25:16Anybody who's anybody who's seen this.
25:17Classics just code for old.
25:18I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:23Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:24Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I'm only going to get to my own.
25:26It's so sad.
25:27This is so sad.
25:28Are you watching hockey right now?
25:29What?
25:30No.
25:31I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:32Oh, come on, babe.
25:33Tell me some slack.
25:34It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:36This is a classic, Damon.
25:37Anybody who's anybody who's seen this.
25:40Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:47what's the plans for tomorrow birthday boy well since I've been away for two
25:52weeks I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day and
25:56then you know we got the party later
25:59hey my favorite student and my favorite students friend we were just watching
26:25the long way and we lost track of time oh yes I see you took my recommendation
26:30such a classic boyfriend what I'm not a friend we're boyfriend oh lucky guy who
26:41was just leaving I demon I mean I can stay I'd love to see what you two have been
26:47working so hard on lately no I mean no no she's right music is so personal
26:55so intimate something to be shared between two or three oh no almost never
26:59three
27:04young love such a beautiful thing love who said I I don't we I we don't have you
27:15ever been in love of course yeah I've been in love a bunch of times I mean I'm not a
27:22that a bunch of times the normal amount of times there's just a lot of pressure
27:28on when to say it you know that it's just there's a lot of stress and then yet you
27:32know who should say it first or when you should say it or if they'll ever say it
27:37back and maybe I can help you find a way to say it should we begin should we begin yeah
27:51Damon hey Zoe what's up how are you doing I'm good
28:03that's awesome I'm I'm also good you know I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks coming
28:11home tomorrow so here's a funny little question for you Claire's guitar teacher
28:19Nico yeah he's not even that good looking like at all oh no he's a solid 9.5 and then him playing
28:29guitar takes him to about a 12. I just think it's it's weird you know we she's doubled her lessons
28:36while I've been away and we're watching movies they both like wouldn't you feel a little bit
28:41weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week I thought you
28:45said he wasn't good looking Zoe okay I wouldn't feel great about it but I'd be confident in my
28:55relationship I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him I just don't get it I
29:01mean she's being so secretive about it I haven't even heard her play anything yeah Damon I don't
29:08know don't you have any guy friends to call about this who am I gonna talk to Zoe guys don't talk
29:13about stuff if only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really really well Jake yeah is
29:19that weird I mean it can't be weirder than you calling me about this yeah okay you're right
29:25you're good friends though Claire's lucky to have you on her side don't stress I'm sure there's
29:31absolutely nothing to worry about plus isn't it your birthday tomorrow focus on that yeah thanks
29:37I'll see you tomorrow hey birthday boy not until tomorrow where's Jake he's in the shower he just
29:54got back from practice and he's disgusting I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday but
29:59I didn't have your number yeah let's keep it that way so what's on the agenda what time am I picking
30:05you up tonight kidding obviously does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned other
30:12than running off the guitar teacher probably not oh that's right she starts signing with Nico
30:16wait you know Nico yeah I set them up he's amazing so so talented so so talented what do you mean you
30:27set them up well she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn so
30:31yeah I don't know I suggested Nico oh great so this is your fault thanks a lot where was I
30:37sitting right next to her not listening per usual that's not that's not true I listen
30:44whatever anyway out of the kindness of my generous heart I suggested Nico every girl should have a few
30:52lessons with him he teaches you so much I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand
30:58what exactly wouldn't I understand what exactly wouldn't I understand music art culture languages
31:06you're not like afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with
31:12are you but we have conversations Chelsea is Jake out of the shower yet oh yeah the what huh
31:19hockey and then hockey oh of course right there's always hockey seriously though Damon hockey is like
31:26you're one true love and it's kind of boring I love other things like what like Claire and I don't
31:33want her running off with some guitar playing art culture looking snob all right look I'm not saying
31:43I'm an expert on all things Claire but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than
31:49either of us would have liked and she's actually kind of interesting so maybe you should at least
31:57pretend to care about some of the things she likes yeah it's actually not terrible advice
32:02considered my birthday gift to you gee thanks a lot so what are you still doing here go before she
32:12hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow bye yeah yeah okay whatever thanks bye
32:26hey I was just gonna call you you're all dressed up Damon um I've been wanting to tell you how I feel
32:48and and and I I this was going to be a birthday surprise but I just I didn't think I could wait
32:57you're the cream in my coffee you're the apple of my eye you make me wanna laugh when I think I'm gonna cry
33:18like you're the one so there's one thing I must do
33:23I have to say
33:28I love you
33:32I love you too
33:35moment stealer
33:38I'm sorry but I needed you to know it I love you so much Claire
33:42and I'm sorry that I got weird earlier but I talked to Zoe and
33:46you talked to Zoe yeah and and she told me not to worry and she told me that she always has your back
33:51which I love hello and I talked to Chelsea
33:56ew why didn't you talk to Chelsea
33:57I don't know she sucks but she did say one thing that wasn't terrible I want to make more of an effort to share your interests Claire I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals even the old ones I don't care just no subtitles deal deal deal okay
34:16okay babe yeah do you think I could finish my song I work really hard on it yes please
34:26blue white baby as bright as the sky
34:33head in the club and then we've done so high
34:36I think you're the one so that's one thing I must do
34:41I have to say
34:45I love you
34:47I love you.
34:49Do do do do do do do do.
34:52Do do do do do do.
34:56Did you change your pillowcases?
34:58No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there. That looks like trash.
35:03Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:09Yes.
35:10Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that?
35:16Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:18I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:20One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:26True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:29Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:36Please do not ever Google that. Ever.
35:40You're not helping.
35:42So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon.
35:50There's no going back.
35:51Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:56No.
35:57Not talking.
35:58Just...
35:59I don't know.
36:00We dated for so long.
36:01It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:05And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:10About time.
36:11She dragged that on long enough.
36:13What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:16I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:19You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:22Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:24Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:25I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:28Plus, Damon is gonna be ten times better than Jake.
36:31Think about all that experience.
36:33Why would you say that, Sol?
36:36I didn't even think of it like that.
36:39God, he's been with so many girls.
36:41What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, he thinks a lot.
36:46It's just what I needed.
36:47That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Ah, it's Damon.
36:53Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
37:00Hey.
37:03You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:12You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:27Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great. So you remember. She's back.
37:39Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight. Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:50Hmm, let me think about that.
37:53I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise she just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in like a week.
37:59Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place? Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not. She is the literal girl version of you.
38:12That's exactly why we didn't work. Trust me, it's strictly a friend, eh?
38:16I don't know. I know who you guys were when you were together. You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:23I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire. Come on.
38:27Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:33Okay, I don't want to fight. I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special-
38:40She's here. I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:57I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:01Haha, funny. You know what else is funny? Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:06Wow. Which one? Please don't say Natasha.
39:13Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand. In just for the year, sadly.
39:19Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:25Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything. Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:37Okay. He's pretty. He does that. Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon. I don't trust her.
39:48Shit. She just posted a story. I can't look at it. She'll know.
39:51She has 80,000 followers. She's not going to see your name.
39:55I can't look, Zoe. You look.
40:00What is it? Are they kissing? Are they back together?
40:04Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:07Why would you have me look at that?
40:17This is it. You're going to get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:29Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives. I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you. He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling.
40:50And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:54What's going on? Why are you taking my side on this?
40:57Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just saying that, like, whatever. I gotta go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:00What's going on? Why are you taking my side on this?
41:04Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just saying that, like, whatever. I gotta go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:11You calling from Reykjavik?
41:12What?
41:13Nothing.
41:14Where are you? I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:16Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:21What happened?
41:22Nothing. What?
41:23Nothing.
41:24Nothing.
41:25Nothing.
41:26Nothing.
41:27Nothing.
41:28Nothing.
41:29Nothing.
41:30Nothing.
41:31Nothing.
41:32Nothing.
41:33Nothing.
41:34Nothing.
41:35Nothing.
41:36Nothing.
41:37Nothing.
41:38Nothing.
41:39Nothing.
41:40Nothing.
41:41Nothing?
41:42Or something nothing?
41:43You were right.
41:45That was a bad idea.
41:46It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:49She hasn't changed at all.
41:50I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:55Wait.
41:56You kissed?
41:57No.
41:58No, she tried.
41:59Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:00I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:02Did you want to kiss her?
42:04No way.
42:05Are you kidding?
42:06You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:08Like, ever.
42:09Why don't you say that to my face?
42:12Why don't you let me up?
42:14I'm outside.
42:15You're here?
42:17Wait, are you sure?
42:18I only have 700 followers.
42:20Please.
42:21You know she bought all those followers, right?
42:23What?
42:24100%.
42:25But do I see some black silk under there?
42:29I'm much more interested in that.
42:30Come on.
42:31Let me up.
42:32Keep going now.
42:33Target zone for the tree.
42:34Punch it right for the front of the face.
42:35Palms are down.
42:36Elbows are tight.
42:37There we go.
42:38Now, we're gonna do this.
42:39Demon's texted me.
42:40I love you three times since this morning.
42:41Who knew he'd get so mushy after sex?
42:42That's awesome.
42:43And he took me out for breakfast.
42:44Did I say that already?
42:45Like four times.
42:46Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
42:47Anyway, did you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
42:50How embarrassing and sad is that?
42:52Two uppercuts.
42:53Let's go.
42:54Uppercuts.
42:55Target zone.
42:56Where is it underneath the shin?
42:57Elbows are tight to the body.
42:58Can you turn that down?
42:59Can you turn that down?
43:00Can you turn that down?
43:01Can you turn that down?
43:02Can you turn that down?
43:03Can you turn that down?
43:04Let's go.
43:05Let's go.
43:06Let's go.
43:07Let's go.
43:08Let's go.
43:09Let's go.
43:10Let's go.
43:11Let's go.
43:12Let's go.
43:13Let's go.
43:14Let's go.
43:15Let's go.
43:16Let's go.
43:17Let's go.
43:18Can you turn that down?
43:19Now.
43:20Wow.
43:21That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa.
43:23Are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad.
43:25I'm just tired.
43:26Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean, no, Claire.
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating
43:34Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came.
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon and now Damon's calling
43:45me to talk about you and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No.
43:52I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:54I am your best friend.
43:55No.
43:56I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think
44:03it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through
44:09something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my god.
44:13What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:18I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not
44:24being able to just talk to you about it.
44:26You can talk to me about anything.
44:28This is so exciting.
44:29Who is it?
44:30It's not important.
44:31What do you mean it's not important?
44:34I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:36Come on.
44:37She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:41I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:47Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:51I mean that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:55Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:00I don't know.
45:01I don't know what we are.
45:03It's like we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:08I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:12What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:15Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:18I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:21What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:25Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:28Hold on.
45:30You're dating Chelsea?
45:32Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:36Are you kidding me?
45:37We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:42Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:44We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:49Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:51I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:00Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself!
46:11I would have talked you out of it!
46:13You don't even know her, Claire.
46:14Seems like I don't know either of you!
46:16And whose fault is that?
46:18Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:22But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:26you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you!
46:30I'm over it.
46:41Well, that went well.
46:43Uh-oh. How bad.
46:45If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:52Gross.
46:53I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't happen easy.
46:56But at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her?
46:59That feels like a small win.
47:01I guess.
47:02I don't know, it's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:06Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:12I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:18Cool.
47:20Cool.
47:21Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:34Whatever.
47:36I don't need her.
47:38I have you.
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active.
47:49Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:56Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:02Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm over it.
48:08I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire, you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:17Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:23So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us? Or about how you were feeling? Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:34Maybe.
48:35Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:40Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:45Bad habit.
48:48Alright, let me figure this out.
48:51Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:58Chelsea? Did I open a cursed box? Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:03What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:22No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:27I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:30Oh, yeah. Another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:40Nothing. I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe. I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:47So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:55Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:58Okay, so you think I'm the jerk?
50:00No, no. I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:05Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:18I was wrong.
50:20You're still very cute though. And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:42And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:48Of course. You got this.
50:55Pick up. Please pick up.
50:59Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:02I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too. I messed up.
51:12You messed up big time.
51:13I know. I freaked. I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name. But that doesn't matter. Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:29Seriously, Claire. I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:34I think she might be... my person.
51:37My person.
51:38If you're happy...
51:40I'm happy.
51:41Truly.
51:43Look, I love you, so...
51:45You're my best friend.
51:47And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:52And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:56You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:06I'm sorry too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:13It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:21If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:26Wait...
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:29But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets. You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just... your special night?
52:59You're still working.
53:00Why is she going to go to bed?
53:02She's gone.
53:04Something like that.
53:06And the other thing is, she doesn't have to worry about the habits or things.
53:10To me, I'm sorry.
53:12You only want to travel or to calm the Pensuh, to me.
53:14And I'm sorry for you.
53:15I'm sorry.
53:17You're the only one.
53:18You could never do anything.
53:20I'm sorry.
53:22I'm sorry.
53:24You're not allowed to be alone.
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53:00
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