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Chris tombe éperdument amoureux d'Allison, une femme juive, et veut même l'épouser. Il demande à son ami de l'aider à devenir plus juif.
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Original Title : Finding Mrs Right
Catégorie : Film en Français Complet en VF, VOSTFR, Comédie, Romance, Humour, Emotion, Film Entier
© 2025 - Tous Droits Réservés
🔥 Les nouveautés ici ➤ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpylctLnP9NVC0Lv8HD34xaG1GnDQBTZq
#FilmComplet #BoxofficeNouveautés #FilmsMULTI
💛 Snapchat ➤ https://www.snapchat.com/p/1684933092515270
Original Title : Finding Mrs Right
Catégorie : Film en Français Complet en VF, VOSTFR, Comédie, Romance, Humour, Emotion, Film Entier
© 2025 - Tous Droits Réservés
Catégorie
🎥
Court métrageTranscription
00:44:52Le bar mitzvah.
00:44:53Oi.
00:44:54This is our newest member.
00:44:55I was telling you about Avi.
00:44:56Hi.
00:44:57I'm Avi Rosenberg.
00:44:58Welcome to Beth Jacob, Avi.
00:44:59Thank you, Rabbi.
00:45:00Has Marcy warned you about our little club?
00:45:02Oh, no.
00:45:03Uh, club?
00:45:0418 years ago, a boy named Adam Lipschitz had a panic attack during his bar mitzvah,
00:45:09dropped his trousers, and exposed himself to the congregation.
00:45:14That's messed up.
00:45:15Oh, it is messed up, Avi.
00:45:16What's even more messed up is that to this day, Adam's lewd act has become the rite of
00:45:21passage for every boy who's had his bar mitzvah at our temple.
00:45:24In fact, there hasn't been a bar mitzvah boy since 1993 who hasn't shown his to the entire
00:45:31congregation.
00:45:32I've tried everything.
00:45:33They won't stop.
00:45:34I've seen the penises of 459 young boys.
00:45:38So unless you're really into schlongs, Avi, this ain't the temple for you.
00:45:42He gets excited.
00:45:45Avi, Shlomi and I are so embarrassed that on your very first Saturday morning service with
00:45:51you had to see.
00:45:53Genitals.
00:45:54And we sincerely hope that the fact that our temple has a club won't make you consider
00:45:59joining elsewhere.
00:46:00Not at all.
00:46:01Not at all.
00:46:02What was the name of the young man who started it all?
00:46:04Adam Lipschitz?
00:46:05Lipschitz.
00:46:06I hope I don't run into him, huh?
00:46:08Yes, don't we all.
00:46:09I've seen enough.
00:46:10What a freak.
00:46:11Excuse me, Rabbi.
00:46:12Would you like some fish?
00:46:13Oh, yes.
00:46:14Thank you, uh, Hymen.
00:46:21Thank you.
00:46:22Oi.
00:46:23Wow.
00:46:24I have to say our people have invented a lot of lousy food, but gefilte fish might be
00:46:29the worst.
00:46:31My advice is to get it over with as quickly as possible.
00:46:37Two bites.
00:46:38Wham.
00:46:39Bam.
00:46:40Done.
00:46:41Ah.
00:46:42Shlomi, honey, are you all right?
00:46:46Go away!
00:46:47Damn it, Shlomo.
00:46:48I am coming in now.
00:46:49No, you don't want to see this.
00:46:50It'll change you.
00:46:51It changed me.
00:46:52I'm shitting relatives.
00:46:53Oh, Marcy.
00:46:54I hate to do this to you, Cupcake, but I think I'm gonna have to bow out of the tournament.
00:46:58No.
00:46:59No, no, no, no, no, Shlomo.
00:47:00You are not doing any such thing.
00:47:01Now, this is the finals.
00:47:02If we have to take some sort of slop bucket, then so be it.
00:47:03I'm sorry, Lollipop.
00:47:04But we'll just have to wait another year to beat those damn fleisters.
00:47:06Darn it.
00:47:07What tournament?
00:47:08What tournament?
00:47:09What tournament?
00:47:10What tournament?
00:47:11I'm sorry.
00:47:12I'm sorry, Lollipop.
00:47:13But we'll just have to wait another year to beat those damn fleisters.
00:47:16Darn it.
00:47:17What tournament?
00:47:19What tournament?
00:47:20It is the NBLA Regionals.
00:47:23We are in the finals.
00:47:24It starts in three hours.
00:47:25Oh.
00:47:26But, well, I guess that I won't be going this year.
00:47:30I play bridge.
00:47:32Dear God, all I do is help you.
00:47:35I want to thank all of you for taking part in what is the world's greatest sporting event,
00:47:45Duplicate Bridge.
00:47:47Of course.
00:47:48Stand up.
00:47:49Feel the sun.
00:47:50You know your time has come.
00:47:53All or not.
00:47:54It's time to feel alive.
00:47:56Oh.
00:47:57Oh.
00:47:58Oh.
00:47:59Oh.
00:48:00Oh.
00:48:01Oh.
00:48:02John,比 Kennedy.
00:48:04Hope you take care.
00:48:05Give me a four of diamonds.
00:48:06Four of diamonds.
00:48:07Give me an eight of clubs.
00:48:08The eight of clubs.
00:48:09Give me an ace of spades.
00:48:11Ace of spades.
00:48:12And what does that spell?
00:48:27Jack Trump, in your face!
00:48:32We have a two-way tie.
00:48:36That means sudden death.
00:48:39Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
00:48:42You've all been briefed on the rules.
00:48:44Three boards, two out of three wins.
00:48:47Let's keep it clean.
00:48:50Begin!
00:48:57We'll get them on the road, three wins.
00:49:03Yes!
00:49:04Rosenberg Martin's big one, nothing.
00:49:09They're freaking me out a little bit.
00:49:11You just pay no attention.
00:49:12I've been playing with them for years.
00:49:13It's disturbing.
00:49:23You can do this, right?
00:49:25Trust me.
00:49:26It's over.
00:49:27Trump.
00:49:29What?
00:49:30Trump, baby.
00:49:31It's called Trump.
00:49:32It's called Trump.
00:49:34It's not true.
00:49:35You did it!
00:49:41There's the big winners over here.
00:49:43We beat the Flashmen.
00:49:45I beat the Flashmen.
00:49:46We beat the Flashmen.
00:49:47We beat the Flashmen.
00:49:52Oh, you are amazing.
00:49:54We did it.
00:49:54We did it.
00:49:55We beat the Flashmen.
00:49:56Yeah, what's going on?
00:49:57Oh, honey!
00:49:57Honey, did you see us?
00:50:03Obviously.
00:50:04Avi, what are you doing here?
00:50:06What, you two know each other?
00:50:07Yeah, well, yeah.
00:50:08This is the girl I told you about.
00:50:10We went on a date.
00:50:10She never called me back.
00:50:12How do you two know each other?
00:50:13That's my daughter.
00:50:15What?
00:50:15Your daughter?
00:50:16Uh, Mom, could I talk to you just for a second?
00:50:20Um, I met that guy at your last mixer.
00:50:24We went on a date, and he ended up being one of the strangest guys I've ever met.
00:50:28How can you possibly say that?
00:50:29I think he is wonderful.
00:50:31He asked our waiter if he could chew him down on the check, and then he said that I had
00:50:36a cute little jupeak.
00:50:37Oh, oh, I'm sure that he was just joking.
00:50:40He's very funny.
00:50:41Really?
00:50:41Okay, well, then we went to a jazz club, and he stood up in front of everyone and said
00:50:47that Smokey Joe Jefferson was a schwarzer.
00:50:49Well, he is one, isn't he?
00:50:50He is a psycho.
00:50:51I mean, isn't it obvious that he's, like, stalking me?
00:50:53Oh, please.
00:50:54Now, come on.
00:50:55I mean, the man is a doctor.
00:50:57It's not like he has time to stalk.
00:50:59No, obviously, this is some sort of crazy coincidence that, you know, it's good.
00:51:05Now, wait a minute.
00:51:07Actually, I don't...
00:51:09I don't think that this is a coincidence at all.
00:51:13No, I think that this just might be fate, trying to get you two together.
00:51:20Wow.
00:51:21I have never heard you like this.
00:51:22All right, Allison, darling, listen to me.
00:51:25Now, you are 27 years old, and have I ever tried to set you up with anyone?
00:51:29No, and why is that?
00:51:31Because I have never felt that anyone was good enough for you.
00:51:35Until now.
00:51:36What are you doing?
00:51:47What?
00:51:48I told you to let me get to the altar, look at me for 15 seconds, let the tension build,
00:51:53and then slowly pull my veil back.
00:51:56And where is the rabbi?
00:51:57Can somebody get him off the shitter?
00:51:58Okay, fine, whatever.
00:51:59Let's just keep going.
00:52:00No, we can't keep going.
00:52:01We have to keep doing it until we get it right.
00:52:03Adam, your timing was way off. I clocked you pulling back the veil after four seconds.
00:52:07Yeah, that's the least of our problems. You didn't even have tears in your eyes when you lifted up the veil.
00:52:11It's a rehearsal.
00:52:12Who cares if it's a rehearsal? Don't you love my daughter so much that you tear up every time you see her?
00:52:16I can't believe you're being so insensitive.
00:52:18Don't you know that she is still recovering from her surgery?
00:52:21Oh, by the way, Hannah has your new vag.
00:52:24Jill, stop talking about Hannah's vagina.
00:52:26Less ugly?
00:52:28Dennis!
00:52:28Dad!
00:52:29What?
00:52:29Pokey-poo, the Daniels are right.
00:52:31You really need to take this a little bit more seriously because we only have three more rehearsals left till the wedding.
00:52:37Megan, sweetie, your pedal throng's got a little bit sloppy and unfocused.
00:52:41Remember, it's three pedals per step.
00:52:44Screw it up again and you're both out.
00:52:45Daddy!
00:52:46Daddy!
00:52:46Daddy!
00:52:47Okay, so let's take it from the poems.
00:52:50What? The poems?
00:52:51Yes.
00:52:52Oh, honey, you want to do that now? I thought that was going to be a surprise for the wedding day.
00:52:56It's going to be a surprise for the guests, but I need to see how you perform it so I can give you notes.
00:53:01Okay.
00:53:04Hannah.
00:53:04Yes?
00:53:05The day I met you, it was like a dream.
00:53:08Even more thrilling than my father's new embroidery machine.
00:53:12Fine.
00:53:12Fine.
00:53:13My feelings towards you are so extreme that sometimes when I'm with you, I just...
00:53:18I just want to...
00:53:19scream.
00:53:21What grade is he in?
00:53:22The thought of being without you words can't explain.
00:53:26If you only knew what was going on inside my brain...
00:53:30Brain. Brain.
00:53:33Brain.
00:53:33Brain.
00:53:34I can't believe I'm about to spend the rest of my years with you.
00:53:39And in just a few minutes, I'm going to say the words...
00:53:45I'm going to say the words I'm...
00:53:55What are you doing?
00:53:59I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:01What?
00:54:02Again?
00:54:02I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:04Finally, he says something true.
00:54:06What?
00:54:06I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:09I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:11I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:13Adam!
00:54:15This is why I wanted to rehearse.
00:54:17What the fuck?
00:54:19You're kidding, right?
00:54:20No, no.
00:54:20Because, um...
00:54:23Sex, you know, has a way of complicating things.
00:54:25And I want to get to know you.
00:54:27I want to get to know the real you.
00:54:29I can't believe you're saying this.
00:54:31I've never met a guy who wanted to wait.
00:54:33So, um, I saw your commercial.
00:54:35So I went to the palace, and we've been hanging out ever since.
00:54:38He never said a word to us about this.
00:54:39God forbid he should tell us anything.
00:54:41Have you heard from him at all in the last week?
00:54:43No, no.
00:54:44I've been calling him, too.
00:54:45He hasn't returned any of my calls.
00:54:46What if he was murdered by the homeless meth heads?
00:54:49What if he was blown by a vampire?
00:54:51Did he say anything about Hannah, about the wedding?
00:54:53No, nothing.
00:54:55Daddy!
00:54:56You know what?
00:54:56He probably just got cold feet.
00:54:58I disappeared for six months before my wedding.
00:55:00Right, honey?
00:55:00Uh, that was me.
00:55:01Oh, that's right.
00:55:03How are you a doctor?
00:55:05Oh, God!
00:55:06He's gone forever, and I'm never going to have a baby!
00:55:12Oh, God!
00:55:14I'm never going to have a grandchild!
00:55:18Oh, God!
00:55:20No!
00:55:22God damn it!
00:55:22Do something, Bruce!
00:55:25Oh, no!
00:55:27Oh, no!
00:55:29No!
00:55:30Oh, no!
00:55:32Oh, no!
00:55:37Oh, no!
00:55:41Hello?
00:55:42Oh, no!
00:55:43Oh, no!
00:55:44Oh, no!
00:55:44Oh, no!
00:55:49Now, the doctors at the hospital referred you to Serenity Hills because they felt that Adam
00:55:54a plus intense,
00:55:56en environnement pour sa condition.
00:55:58Sa condition?
00:56:00Oh, Adam est souffrant
00:56:02de cause de post-traumatic stress disorder.
00:56:04Oh, what the...
00:56:06I didn't do it.
00:56:07I just don't understand
00:56:08what could have caused all this.
00:56:09Not again.
00:56:10And your fault.
00:56:12Honey, you can still change your mind.
00:56:18What the...
00:56:19Seems fine to me.
00:56:20Get him!
00:56:22Run!
00:56:23Get him!
00:56:24In a case like Adam's,
00:56:26who has a long history of panic attacks,
00:56:29it's not uncommon that he would reach
00:56:31what we refer to as the ha,
00:56:34or the hyper-aroused state.
00:56:39What we are watching are nuts.
00:56:41Numbness.
00:56:42Numbing.
00:56:43Sorry, sorry.
00:56:44Now, over the next 21 days...
00:56:4621 days?
00:56:47No, no, no.
00:56:48That is July 2nd.
00:56:49My second is my wedding.
00:56:50We've got to get him out of it quicker than that.
00:56:51I've got 200 grand in deposits.
00:56:53Do you have like an express service?
00:56:54Express service?
00:56:55This is our only son you're talking about!
00:56:57We're not putting him in some express service!
00:56:59Whoa!
00:57:00Whoa!
00:57:01Just relax, breathe.
00:57:04We need 21 days,
00:57:05and if you cannot give us that,
00:57:07then get him out of here.
00:57:08Oh!
00:57:09We can go swimming.
00:57:10I don't know.
00:57:11It's gonna be okay.
00:57:12Look, he looks better out of the ladder.
00:57:14Is it just me,
00:57:15or does that dolphin look like him?
00:57:17You've never done that with me!
00:57:20Ever!
00:57:21Give him time!
00:57:22Give him time!
00:57:23Here's a nightmare!
00:57:24You, Adam!
00:57:26You!
00:57:27Johnny Williams, come on down!
00:57:32Oh, gosh.
00:57:33Don't think I've seen this since I was a kid.
00:57:36Wow.
00:57:37It's amazing they can still find humans
00:57:39when they actually appear in this show.
00:57:42I'm Salakhan.
00:57:43I've been assigned to be your primary counsellor.
00:57:45I've been assigned to be your primary counsellor.
00:57:49Look.
00:57:50If you don't want to talk,
00:57:51it's no problem.
00:57:52You don't have to talk.
00:57:53You know, these things take time.
00:57:55And I've got all the time you need.
00:58:00All right.
00:58:01Are you ready for some Paco?
00:58:02Okay, let's do it.
00:58:03That fuck out.
00:58:04Yeah.
00:58:05And give it a drop.
00:58:08Okay, all right.
00:58:09Here it goes.
00:58:10It takes a little tea time.
00:58:12Why is it that only fat people make it into the showdown?
00:58:15Well, this is the time.
00:58:17Fine.
00:58:18You know, you want to sit there like a vegetable all day,
00:58:21pretend like you don't hear me,
00:58:22then go right ahead.
00:58:24All right.
00:58:25But my job is to make you well again
00:58:28by having you face the traumatic events
00:58:30that have forced you into this state.
00:58:31So, unless you're willing to turn off the TV and do that,
00:58:34then I would save the $2,500 a day you're spending here
00:58:37and go check yourself into a hotel.
00:58:42All right.
00:58:43Suit yourself.
00:58:44You stare all you like, little man.
00:58:51What did you just say?
00:58:55Mm.
00:58:56So, anyway.
00:58:57The moyal slips.
00:58:58A piece falls off.
00:58:59Hits me in the punham.
00:59:00I've been cockeyed ever since.
00:59:05So, Avi, Allison tells me you're from Skokie.
00:59:07Yeah.
00:59:08Yeah.
00:59:09You know, uh, Al and I grew up in Glenview.
00:59:12Sorry.
00:59:13Excuse me.
00:59:14Oh, really?
00:59:15Yeah.
00:59:16We were practically neighbors.
00:59:17Your family still there?
00:59:18Nope.
00:59:19Where'd they move to?
00:59:20They moved.
00:59:22To heaven.
00:59:23Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:59:26When did they pass?
00:59:28They, um, they passed a few years back.
00:59:31I can't believe you never told me that.
00:59:33Well, it's hard to talk about.
00:59:35It's very raw.
00:59:36Why?
00:59:37What happened?
00:59:38Hunting accident.
00:59:39Oi.
00:59:40Hunting accident?
00:59:41Uh, they got shot by hunters.
00:59:42What were your parents doing wandering around where people were hunting?
00:59:45They weren't.
00:59:46They were, um, the hunters were hunting in our backyard.
00:59:49What were the hunters doing in your backyard?
00:59:51They had gotten lost and, uh, were off track.
00:59:54And, uh, my parents were wearing their brown onesies.
00:59:57And, uh, the, um, the hunters mistook them for elk.
01:00:01Oh.
01:00:02What happened to the hunters?
01:00:03Were they arrested?
01:00:04No.
01:00:05They are still at large.
01:00:06You know what, Avi?
01:00:07The police chief in Skokie is an old friend of mine.
01:00:10I'm calling him tomorrow.
01:00:11We'll see if we can't help move things along.
01:00:14Huh.
01:00:15Forgive me, but weren't you on the phone with your...
01:00:17Can we talk about something else?
01:00:18Of course.
01:00:19I was watching TV last night.
01:00:21Um, Ten Commandments.
01:00:23Charlton Heston.
01:00:24What an actor.
01:00:25Not Jewish, you know.
01:00:27Who isn't?
01:00:29So I'm...
01:00:30I'm up there, and we're rehearsing these...
01:00:33these poems that we had written for each other.
01:00:37And, and right at the part where I'm about to say I do,
01:00:41I just... I just cracked.
01:00:44Good, Adam.
01:00:45Do you remember how you were feeling in that very moment?
01:00:49No.
01:00:50I mean, I, I just...
01:00:52For a split second, I, I, I saw my entire life with Hannah flash before my eyes.
01:00:58And why did that scare you?
01:01:00Probably because I, I don't think she's right for me.
01:01:06So then why are you marrying her?
01:01:08I don't know.
01:01:09You're avoiding the question, Adam.
01:01:12I think you do know.
01:01:14Now, what I want you to do is try to pinpoint the exact moment in your life
01:01:18where this pressure you're feeling originated.
01:01:21I was 12 years old.
01:01:29Stop staring at her, Adam. That is rude.
01:01:33You're cute. You stare all you like little man.
01:01:37You are not, and you will never be, her little man.
01:01:41Why can't I be her little man?
01:01:42Because she's not Jewish.
01:01:43So I can't be with a girl who's not Jewish?
01:01:45That's right.
01:01:46Why?
01:01:47It's a responsibility to perpetuate our religion.
01:01:49Why?
01:01:50Because six million of our ancestors died and we owe it to them.
01:01:52Why?
01:01:53Because they're dead.
01:01:54So what does that have to do with me?
01:01:55Because you're Jewish!
01:01:56The fate of our entire religion depends on you!
01:01:58You!
01:01:59You!
01:02:00You!
01:02:01You!
01:02:02It depends on me!
01:02:03It depends on me!
01:02:04It's all right.
01:02:05It all depends on me!
01:02:06It's all right.
01:02:07It's all right, Adam.
01:02:08Rosh Hashanah.
01:02:09Oh, God.
01:02:10Oh, God.
01:02:11Oh, God.
01:02:12It's all right.
01:02:13Adam, that was really good.
01:02:15Really good.
01:02:17I'm here.
01:02:18Hey, boss.
01:02:19Can I get the crusty?
01:02:20Yeah, here.
01:02:21Ay, gracias.
01:02:22You have soft hands.
01:02:23Uh, hey, boss.
01:02:24You remember that one time we went to...
01:02:25Shh!
01:02:26Don't say a word.
01:02:27Hey, beautiful.
01:02:28How you doing?
01:02:29Just working.
01:02:30What are you doing?
01:02:31Just working.
01:02:32What are you doing?
01:02:33Oh, no.
01:02:34I'm here.
01:02:35I'm here.
01:02:36I'm here.
01:02:37I'm here.
01:02:38I'm here.
01:02:39I'm here.
01:02:40I'm here.
01:02:41I'm here.
01:02:42I'm here.
01:02:43I'm here.
01:02:44I'm here.
01:02:45Just working.
01:02:46What are you doing?
01:02:47Oh, nothing.
01:02:48You know, just here at the hospital, checking in on patients, patients, patients.
01:02:51What's up, baby?
01:02:52Well, I just spoke to my dad, and he talked to the chief of police in Skokie, and there's
01:02:56no record of any Rosenbergs being shot and killed by hunters.
01:03:00Really?
01:03:01Yeah.
01:03:02In fact, there hasn't been a hunting-related death in Skokie ever.
01:03:05So I went online to research it, and I couldn't find anything.
01:03:08Allison, I didn't want to have to tell you this, but my parents were in the witness protection
01:03:15program, and when they were murdered, the FBI destroyed their records.
01:03:19Hey, boss.
01:03:20You're crazy.
01:03:21What were they doing in the witness protection program?
01:03:24Jimmy Hoffa?
01:03:25What about Jimmy Hoffa?
01:03:26Look, I've said too much already.
01:03:27Do you understand?
01:03:28Avi, I just feel like you're hiding things from me.
01:03:30I mean, we've been going out for a month, and you never tell me that your parents were
01:03:33murdered by elk hunters, and now they're in the witness protection program?
01:03:37And on top of all that, I'm just starting to wonder if you might be gay.
01:03:40What?
01:03:41Gay?
01:03:42Whoa.
01:03:43Why would you think I'm gay?
01:03:45Because what guy goes out with a girl for a whole month and doesn't want to sleep
01:03:48with her?
01:03:49Ew, I want to sleep with you.
01:03:50I just want to be special.
01:03:53Ew.
01:03:54That is exactly what my Aunt Judy's husband told her right before they got married.
01:03:57And 20 years and two kids later, she walks in on him tied up with a rubber ball gag in
01:04:02his mouth being f***ed by a ch*** who was dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.
01:04:06Okay?
01:04:07And I am not going to turn out like my Aunt Judy.
01:04:09Okay, okay, okay.
01:04:12Listen, we will sleep together.
01:04:13I will.
01:04:14Let's do this, baby.
01:04:15Really?
01:04:16Do you mean that?
01:04:17Oh, yeah.
01:04:18When are we going to have sex?
01:04:19Right after I get back from the medical conference in Dallas.
01:04:23What medical conference in Dallas?
01:04:25Remember I told you about that a couple of weeks ago?
01:04:27When are you leaving?
01:04:29Like in two hours.
01:04:31You know, when you inhale, maybe you and Ted Bundy can be roommates, cabron.
01:04:44You know, Rus, I'm looking at a bill here for $42,765.
01:04:49And, uh, considering we said we'd split all the wedding expenses, we need to go halfsies.
01:04:55How's your son going crazy at wedding expense?
01:04:58Well, it happened during a wedding rehearsal, so I think a case could be made in a court of law.
01:05:02This is a wedding expense.
01:05:04Nice try.
01:05:05Nice try.
01:05:06He's got a well-documented, pre-existing condition.
01:05:08There's no way in hell we're paying for it.
01:05:09His condition was never that bad until he met Hannah.
01:05:12Oh.
01:05:13Oh.
01:05:14Hey, are you implying that my daughter had something to do with Adam's freak-out?
01:05:17Oh, she's not implying.
01:05:18She's saying.
01:05:19I had nothing to do with this.
01:05:21Oh, right.
01:05:22You're not insane.
01:05:23Everyone, please!
01:05:24We have worked very hard to get Adam to the point he is at in his therapy.
01:05:28And he has had a very tough time.
01:05:30But these last few days, he has truly managed to come from behind.
01:05:35Oh, God!
01:05:36Oh, God!
01:05:37Oh, God!
01:05:38Oh, God!
01:05:39Oh, God!
01:05:40Oh, God!
01:05:41Mom!
01:05:42Dad!
01:05:43What are you doing?
01:05:45He never tried that with me!
01:05:47Hannah?
01:05:48What is everybody doing here at the same time?
01:05:52Oh, God!
01:05:53Oh, God!
01:05:54So, let me get this straight.
01:05:57You no longer want to get married to me because you're in love with your Mongolian doctor?
01:06:02I know this must be a shock for everyone.
01:06:05But when Adam finally opened up to me, I don't know, we just clicked.
01:06:10What do you mean you just clicked?
01:06:12Arlene, we are not going to get anywhere by attacking each other.
01:06:15Sala, please continue.
01:06:18By the way, you're fired.
01:06:20Well, I'm a Buddhist and, you know, both of our religions were born out of struggle.
01:06:26So, we both place emphasis on family, education, and hard work.
01:06:32And the intense pressure that Adam feels to marry within his people is the same pressure I feel to marry a Mongolian.
01:06:38So, it's no wonder why we're able to connect.
01:06:41For 43 grand, you could have connected with every chick in Mongolia!
01:06:47Okay, Sala, hypothetically speaking, if you two were to stay together and get married, how would you raise your children?
01:06:59Mom, do we have to get into this right now?
01:07:01What? Isn't that what this is for?
01:07:02Okay, well, the truth is...
01:07:03The truth is...
01:07:04The truth is?
01:07:05The truth is...
01:07:06What's the truth, Adam?
01:07:07The truth is, I don't know if I want to raise my kids Jewish!
01:07:10Oh, shit.
01:07:14Jesus, who are you?
01:07:19Was I not a good mother to you?
01:07:22When you were in kindergarten and you wanted the little trampoline that could poke your eye out, who got you the trampoline that could poke your eye out?
01:07:29I did.
01:07:30And when you were in fifth grade and you wanted to take karate lessons in Chinatown, who drove you there three nights a week and sat in the parking lot all alone in the dark?
01:07:42I did.
01:07:43Okay.
01:07:44And do you know why?
01:07:46Because you're my son.
01:07:49And I love you.
01:07:53And how do you show your love for me?
01:07:56You have style sex with your Mongolian therapist on your wedding day!
01:08:02And then you say to me,
01:08:04Hey, Mom, I'm not sure if I want to raise my kids Jewish!
01:08:11Oh, Adam, that's fine!
01:08:13That's fine!
01:08:14Just save the knife!
01:08:15Just save the knife and kill me, Adam!
01:08:17Mom, stop it!
01:08:19Oh, okay, Adam, so you're saying that our entire time together meant nothing to you?
01:08:29We never hit you!
01:08:30We never fondled you!
01:08:31I got liberty, can you, for you!
01:08:34Honey, honey, I think we dodged a bullet.
01:08:36Yeah, she seems nice.
01:08:38I mean, you better get a good lawyer, freak boy, because I'm suing your ass off!
01:08:42Okay, this!
01:08:44This!
01:08:45Right here!
01:08:46You wanna know why I went nuts?
01:08:49It's because all of you are nuts!
01:08:52And I'm sorry that I can't marry you.
01:08:54But it's better that we end this right now rather than dragging this on for a long fucking time.
01:09:01And, Mom, I'm sorry that you had to do things that you didn't want to do.
01:09:05But you know what?
01:09:06So did I.
01:09:07I joined the family business and became the embroidery prince!
01:09:11Well, how happy can a man be?
01:09:13And to top it off, I've never dated a woman who wasn't Jewish my entire life!
01:09:17Well, you know what?
01:09:18I'm not doing things for you guys anymore, huh?
01:09:21I'm doing things for me, because I love Sala.
01:09:24Sala.
01:09:25Sala.
01:09:26And she's Mongolian.
01:09:28And that's pretty cool.
01:09:31I love you, too.
01:09:33Oh, God.
01:09:35Are you gonna be paying by cash or check?
01:09:40With this technique, the thematic skin is allowed to stay intact.
01:09:44And finally, the neocrossing crush.
01:09:47By using the terra clamp, the skin is crushed for around ten days until it suffocates and dies.
01:09:54With this technique, the skin bonds.
01:09:56Tough, though.
01:09:57Yeah.
01:09:58I mean, you gotta love the dorsal slit, right?
01:10:00Because the phomotic skin stays intact.
01:10:01But on the other hand, with the sleeve resection, I got the widest variety of scarring options.
01:10:06What do you think?
01:10:07Honestly, I'm kind of partial to the temporary crush.
01:10:10You know, you get all the benefits of the sleeve resection, but you get that pump action of the agamgo device there.
01:10:15Yeah, yeah.
01:10:16Plus, it reduces your shmegma by like 75%.
01:10:19It does?
01:10:20Yeah.
01:10:21Done.
01:10:22Sold.
01:10:23Going with the temporary crush, boy.
01:10:25Okay.
01:10:26Knock, knock.
01:10:27Snip, snip time, Mr. O'Connell.
01:10:29Oh.
01:10:31Here we go.
01:10:32Is this your life partner?
01:10:34Who?
01:10:35No.
01:10:36No, no, no, no.
01:10:37No life partnering here, no.
01:10:38That would be weird.
01:10:39Okay.
01:10:40Not that that's weird at all, but just, you know.
01:10:41Okay, Mr. O'Connell.
01:10:42So, me going to turn this little knobby here on, and you're going to just slowly drift away.
01:10:47Me want you to breathe, relax, enjoy it.
01:10:53Breathing.
01:10:54Breathing, breathing.
01:10:55I'm scared.
01:10:56You have nothing to be afraid of, boy.
01:10:58Nurse Boo is going to sing you a little ditty and make you feel all better.
01:11:02Oh.
01:11:03When I was only eight days old, hurrah, hurrah, a billy billy billy bum.
01:11:08When I was only eight days old, hurrah, hurrah.
01:11:12A billy billy billy.
01:11:13The boy that came with his big knife.
01:11:15I thought he was going to take my life, but he only took a little bit off the top.
01:11:21A little bit off the top, top, top.
01:11:24A little bit off the top.
01:11:25A little bit off the top.
01:11:27Top.
01:11:28Well, okay, okay.
01:11:30Okay.
01:11:31She was taking a little off the top.
01:11:32Easy there, Mr. O'Connor.
01:11:35Next time, don't trust your circumcision to an HMO.
01:11:47I think she's nice.
01:11:48I just, I can't believe that you're doing all of this just so you don't have to make any more decisions.
01:11:53Oh, Adam, you don't get it.
01:11:56All those things that you say drive you crazy, I love.
01:11:59I love that your parents smother you.
01:12:01I love that.
01:12:02If they hear about a tornado in Kansas, they call you even though you live in Los Angeles.
01:12:08Yeah, we're very nervous people.
01:12:10And I love the fact that you email each other your itineraries because, because you never know.
01:12:16You know?
01:12:17No.
01:12:18You never know.
01:12:19Never know.
01:12:20And for the past 5,000 years, every civilization, every culture has tried to have you guys annihilated.
01:12:26Yeah, we are not liked.
01:12:27I like you.
01:12:28We like you.
01:12:29You're getting the...
01:12:30It's gonna all make sense now.
01:12:32Muhammad al-Sheikh al-Sheen al-Sheikh is up here.
01:12:36Now he's gonna come up here.
01:12:38And then we got Muhammad al-Sheikh.
01:12:39Muhammad Ali?
01:12:40No.
01:12:41Stop that.
01:12:42McConnell here.
01:12:43Speak up.
01:12:44Hi, Daddy.
01:12:45It's your son Christian.
01:12:46What you doing?
01:12:47I'm in Tahiti having myself a Mai Tai.
01:12:49What the hell do you think I'm doing?
01:12:50Fighting terrorists?
01:12:51Spreading democracy?
01:12:52Yeah.
01:12:53Dad, guess what I'm doing?
01:12:54Oh, I'm here with Adam Lipschitz.
01:12:55You remember him?
01:12:56Adam Lipschitz?
01:12:57Didn't I order you to stay away from that boy?
01:12:59No, Daddy.
01:13:00We're life partners.
01:13:01Sir, that's inaccurate, sir.
01:13:02Life partners?
01:13:03Now, what the hell is life partners?
01:13:04Life partners?
01:13:05She's a homo, Dad.
01:13:06What?
01:13:07I call her to what?
01:13:08A homo?
01:13:09Yeah, we're here at the hospital, you know?
01:13:10Because he's with me so I can get circumcised, sir.
01:13:13What?
01:13:14Not for me, though.
01:13:15Circumcised?
01:13:16Yeah, so I can be a Jew, Daddy.
01:13:17You can be a Jew?
01:13:18Daddy, I want to tell you something, too,
01:13:19because I don't think I've ever told you this before.
01:13:21We never say this, but I love you.
01:13:22I love you.
01:13:23I love you.
01:13:24I love you.
01:13:25I love you.
01:13:26I love you.
01:13:27I love you.
01:13:28I love you.
01:13:29I love you.
01:13:30I love you.
01:13:31I love you.
01:13:32I love you.
01:13:33Hi.
01:13:34Ow!
01:13:35Sorry.
01:13:36You know, I'm glad we're hanging out again,
01:13:37but I kind of feel like something's missing.
01:13:39A little bit off the top.
01:13:40Ow!
01:13:41Top.
01:13:42Oh!
01:13:43Oh!
01:13:44Allison?
01:13:45Want to have sex?
01:13:46Not really.
01:13:47I'm sorry.
01:13:48I'm sorry.
01:13:49I'm sorry.
01:13:50You know, I'm glad we're hanging out again,
01:13:51but I kind of feel like something's missing.
01:13:52A little bit off the top.
01:13:53Ow!
01:13:54Top.
01:13:55Oh!
01:13:56Top.
01:13:57Oh!
01:13:58Not really.
01:13:59No!
01:14:00No!
01:14:01No!
01:14:02No!
01:14:03Clear right!
01:14:04Clear right!
01:14:05Didn't I order you to keep your son away from my son?
01:14:09Excuse me?
01:14:10Don't you play dumb with me, s*** lips?
01:14:14Buck O'Connell?
01:14:15Oh, jeez.
01:14:17Your atom has turned my Christian into some gay Jew.
01:14:22Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:14:24Buck, slow down.
01:14:25What are you talking about?
01:14:26They're live partners.
01:14:30Life partners?
01:14:32Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:14:33What makes you think this?
01:14:35He called and told me while he was in hospital with your atom
01:14:40that he was about to get his package up so they could be gay Jews together.
01:14:48and then he told me, Dad, I love you.
01:14:51What the hell is going on?
01:14:54Huh?
01:14:55Oh, Dennis.
01:14:56We pushed him too far and he snapped.
01:14:59With all the pressure that we put on him to marry a Jewish girl, the Asian wasn't enough
01:15:03and then he went the other way.
01:15:07Okay, Buck, first of all, you look fantastic.
01:15:12Whoa, hey, hey, hey.
01:15:13Take it easy, old man.
01:15:14No, but second of all, I mean, I'm having a hard time believing any of this.
01:15:17Oh, yeah?
01:15:18Now where's your boy right now?
01:15:21Buddy, I'm so happy you're here and that you're helping me with this.
01:15:25I don't know what I would do without you.
01:15:26You really need me to do this again?
01:15:27I gotta be honest.
01:15:28I don't know if I can get through another gauze pass.
01:15:31And how many times a day do you have to do it?
01:15:33Oh.
01:15:34Really, I can't do this myself.
01:15:35Please come and do it.
01:15:36God.
01:15:37Come on, just help me.
01:15:38Okay.
01:15:39Come here.
01:15:40Put some of that jelly on it and let's get going.
01:15:42Whoa!
01:15:43Whoa!
01:15:44Whoa!
01:15:45Drop the petroleum jelly and back away from my son's anus.
01:15:51Holy .
01:15:53I knew it.
01:15:54Don't shoot him, Dad.
01:15:55Mom?
01:15:56Adam.
01:15:57Dad?
01:15:58Damn it, Adam. Jelly's for toast.
01:16:02Allison, I'm not a Jew and I'm not a doctor.
01:16:05And my name is not Avi Rosenberg.
01:16:06Well, then who the hell are you?
01:16:08I'm Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell.
01:16:11I'm a plumber.
01:16:12Look, when I met you at the mixer, I begged my friend Adam here
01:16:15to help me pass myself off as a Jew so that you'd be able to date me.
01:16:20Club?
01:16:21Allison, how's it going?
01:16:23Marcy.
01:16:24Don't you even look at me.
01:16:25Rabbi, I'm so sorry.
01:16:26You.
01:16:27Club.
01:16:28Before Adam came along, I watched NASCAR and I had the heads of
01:16:31dead animals that I'd hunted and killed myself on my wall.
01:16:34And I had no idea that when you order a salad at a restaurant,
01:16:36you can order the dressing on the side,
01:16:38let alone custom-create your own dishes off the menu.
01:16:41What the hell are you talking about?
01:16:42I fed your seeds a salad.
01:16:43Jews can custom-create their own dishes off the menu.
01:16:46They're always up to something.
01:16:48No, I can hear you.
01:16:50That's why I messed up our date so bad,
01:16:52because I wasn't being myself.
01:16:54And then Adam told me the only way I'm ever gonna be able to get you back
01:16:56is if I could convince your mom that I was the greatest guy in the world.
01:17:00So, that's why I poisoned your dad with the rotten gift filled of fish.
01:17:04Because, uh, I wanted to partner with your mom in the bridge tournament.
01:17:07You're the reason I've been on the toilet for three days becoming a raisin?
01:17:10All right.
01:17:11Now, we finally beat the Fleischmann, Shlomi, so just leave it alone.
01:17:14Was there ever a medical conference in Dallas?
01:17:17No.
01:17:18I just needed time to recover from the circumcision.
01:17:20Oh, John.
01:17:22On the what?
01:17:23I wouldn't mind having circumcision.
01:17:25Why would you do all that?
01:17:27Because I love you.
01:17:29Allison, I love you.
01:17:40And I want...
01:17:42I want you to make every decision for me for the rest of my life.
01:17:44Will you do that?
01:17:46So I'm just supposed to forget about everything you just said because you love me?
01:17:51Yes, please.
01:17:52Son, stop this hollering and just propose to the girl.
01:17:58Don't put the tongue in.
01:18:05Well, that haircut is awful.
01:18:07So, let me make an appointment for you with my guy because he's the best.
01:18:11I should take that as a yes, huh?
01:18:13Yes.
01:18:14I'll take that as a yes.
01:18:16Aw, Shlomi, we've got a plumber.
01:18:18Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell.
01:18:21Rosenberg.
01:18:22Now, that's a nice Jewish name.
01:18:28We are so thrilled that you finally decided to come on a moose hunt with us.
01:18:33I can't wait to kill me a ten pointer.
01:18:35I'm gonna skin him and gut him and pull out his rectum.
01:18:38That's the spirit.
01:18:39Nobody is pulling out anybody's rectum here.
01:18:40That's what they do.
01:18:41No, no, listen to me, Shlomi.
01:18:42That would be a disgusting thing to do.
01:18:43Think of it.
01:18:44You could be more...
01:18:45You could get coli.
01:18:46You could get bacterium.
01:18:47There are no wipes here that I can see.
01:18:49Shut up!
01:18:50Stop the convection.
01:18:52Mercy.
01:18:53Yarmulke man.
01:18:54Take a knee.
01:18:55A knee?
01:18:56Oh.
01:18:57Cramp.
01:18:58Careful.
01:18:59Not like that.
01:19:00For God's sake.
01:19:01I remember when my father took me out for my first hunt.
01:19:10We all fought like crazy over who's gonna be the lucky one to pull out that rectum.
01:19:15That's what they do?
01:19:16Oh, thank you.
01:19:17Nog, baby?
01:19:18Damn right.
01:19:19Nog, baby?
01:19:20I'm not really much of a nog guy.
01:19:21You know, the dairy kind of makes my acid reflux kick in, and I'm not even sure if the eggs
01:19:33are cage-free, so I don't feel safe.
01:19:35One sip won't kill me, I guess.
01:19:38Nog, baby?
01:19:39Oh, yeah.
01:19:45Oh, yeah!
01:19:48Oh, yeah!
01:19:53Uh, Narnatang and, uh, Jibai Net, whatever.
01:19:58My wife and I, we want to thank you for your hospitality, and for these beautiful hats.
01:20:07My father says it's an honor to have you as part of our family, and they've learned
01:20:11a great deal of wisdom from all of you this week.
01:20:13Thank you.
01:20:14Thank you.
01:20:15Gurutasaw, Shula, Marmot.
01:20:17Oh, my mother said you're gonna love the fried marmot.
01:20:19It's a speciality.
01:20:20Oh!
01:20:21Dennis, did you hear that?
01:20:22We're gonna have fried marmot.
01:20:23Hooray!
01:20:24I mean, we discussed at home.
01:20:25I can have fried food once every few months.
01:20:27It's not gonna...
01:20:28I'm not saying that you shouldn't have fried food.
01:20:30Then what are you saying?
01:20:31Let's just eat it.
01:20:32Oh, maybe a little Mongolian barbecue or something, right?
01:20:34That could be okay.
01:20:36Let's eat, but they order.
01:20:37We don't want to be rude.
01:20:38Why?
01:20:39Is it kosher?
01:20:40We're not even kosher.
01:20:41Why do you care?
01:20:42We're not even kosher.
01:20:43Why do you care?
01:20:44I had a dream where it saw everyone with a smile on the face.
01:21:02Oh, I had a dream of a day when our love took the place of our ladies.
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