00:00good evening sir i have had this question for really long and that is after being born and
00:11brought up in their parents home for nearly two and a half two and a half decades one very fine
00:19day indian women or women in general have to leave their parents home and are married off to start
00:27a new life from the scratch they are expected to make a new home with their in-laws where the
00:35leaving their parents home where the former being absolute strangers to her just before
00:41so what are your opinions on this like why do only women have to do this and like can there
00:49be any alternative to this practice like which can be suitable to both men and women as well
00:55incidentally a question you may clap yes
01:08it's the question actually that deserves a clap so just very recently i suppose two three four
01:15months back i've answered this question and every time i'm posed this question
01:24my response is immediately the same why must you as a woman ask this question to anybody
01:35it's your life is it not so i would rather bounce the question back to you why do you choose to
01:49leave your parental home what is the need because i mean nobody is tying your limbs and forcibly carrying you away
02:03to the other family or the other house women in some way walk out on their own right
02:11even if they are weeping their hearts and their eyes out still it's on their own feet
02:18that they walk out and go to the other place why do you choose to do that what is the need
02:26is there a need i mean you tell me please
02:28if i were a woman i would never never see the point in that and obviously never agree to that
02:43how is it possible that my parents house becomes a stranger's place to me and i start calling the
02:53other family as my family and some random fellow as papa
03:05i mean obviously a random fellow you can come up with cultural arguments and say
03:11no the father of the husband is my own father i don't see that i don't feel that
03:17i just don't mummy a secret word is it not mother having called somebody mother ma once in life
03:30how can you start calling somebody else suddenly as ma just because she incidentally happens to be
03:36the mother of the one your hormones have fallen in love with so she becomes your mother how
03:44not not all this is quite a lot of crap i just don't see the point in this and if you want to
03:56go into the reasons the reasons are all very evolutionary and very material based on economics nothing else
04:06when you look at the when you look at the woman as a factor of production
04:16manpower is a resource in the economy right and the woman produces manpower in the form of babies
04:22so the woman is like a factor of production in the eyes of economics that's how she is right
04:28the factor of production is controlled by its master
04:38factory is owned a factory is a factory is something that produces it is owned by somebody
04:44the ones who owns a productive resource wants to keep it in his own premises
04:51so the husband carries her away he says you know now she will produce kids for me
04:57so i must possess her own her and keep her at my place
05:01and for exactly the same reason the girl is made
05:05to now wear and carry the name of the husband
05:11if you go to villages even today
05:13you will find old utensils and the name of the owner is etched on them
05:24seen that old utensils and they are carrying the name of the owner and that is what is also
05:30done to women otherwise what is the point your mother changes new mommy new papa and new name also
05:38new house new mommy new papa new name new family new bed new why are you getting a rebirth or what
05:49so all this is just quite loveless economics there is no life in it there is no love in it
05:56and no no self-respecting woman should agree to this no self-aware woman can agree to this
06:06in fact forget about the woman if even the man has any degree of self-awareness and self-respect
06:14he will never want a woman to quit his family and start coming here and do all kinds of things
06:21let the man stay where he has to stay let the woman stay where she wants to stay and if they want to
06:27meet it it's good to meet once in a while right i mean frequent dating is far better than cohabitation
06:38take it from me
06:40meeting someone once in a week is pleasurable but when you have to look at that person's face 24 hours
06:48then you come to see the real face and that is quite intolerable once in a week is just okay
06:56once in a month is still better
06:58so all that is quite nonsensical and
07:10i don't know why girls even today accept all that that just tells me that the times have changed
07:18the minds have not changed we we are not really progressing in the inner sense
07:28even though there is a lot of material abundance outside
07:32internally we are still quite poor
07:34and i really sometimes feel very angry at what women have done to themselves and all the things that they needlessly accept
07:48i just don't know why a woman should should simply
07:56allow herself to be a hostage to the past
07:59blind traditions and forces of economics why she should allow herself to be
08:08especially today especially today when she herself is educated when she earns she knows she has knowledge
08:16awareness power legal protection all kinds of things are there why does she still need to act subservient
08:24why does she need to allow her life to be destroyed all that is quite unfathomable
08:39it's just that we don't think over these things no it's taken as some kind of divine rule
08:45the woman has to leave her house and go to some other place
08:48there is nothing divine in this this is just social custom and economics and you have no obligation to
08:59follow any customs for so whatsoever your only obligation is your own liberation you might have
09:06the body of a woman but your consciousness is of a human being you are fundamentally just consciousness
09:16and therefore your sole purpose in life is your liberation you do not exist to appease a man or
09:22to produce kids or to carry the mantle of social custom no
09:27any follow-ups on this one
09:44namaste sir sir i have a question related to like what you have explained just now i completely agree with the theory
09:53i completely agree but can you also suggest a way to explain the same concept to our parents
10:02like because uh like uh so my my parents are asking me to get married because they wanted to
10:10get me free from some kind of burden so like the same concept which we explained to us we as a girl i think every
10:18girl in this hall even in this college will accept this phenomena and want to stand for their own
10:23but don't you think that every parents will curse you after learning this that we are like we learned
10:30this that we'll tell them i'll tell them that uh i learned from you that i'll not leave your place i'll
10:36stick to i'll stick here even after marriage what do you like what do you suggest on this
10:42see certain things certain things i can only force myself to imagine so i i cannot see how a father or a
11:00mother can do that but i can kind of just by way of fiction imagine huh
11:07my father my father he never imposed myself himself on me or my sister my sister lived absolutely
11:19the way she wanted to she is a very very strong person very independent minded
11:26and people call her the man of the house so i can only imagine that there can be parents of the kind
11:42who can push daughters out of the house and that's a very scary imagination how can a father or a mother
11:50curse the daughter and tell her to marry and get lost
12:02in that case take a place on rent what else i mean if your parents don't want to keep you
12:12try renting a place what else can i say
12:20the mic mic mic mic
12:24what i'm saying is there should be no obligation
12:29to go to the husband's place and necessarily stay there and do all those things
12:33things uh as uh as uh like uh as you told that we are bound with some uh society norms so is there any
12:44like there should be some way that we can explain them because they believe in spirituality and
12:50although you can ask them these basic questions why do you want to push me out of your house
12:58please tell me why must i go and if they have a tangible uh argument counter that if they have no
13:09argument and they simply say because that's a social custom then they don't love you then they anyway
13:15don't love you huh so so then no need to go to the husband's place and also no need to necessarily
13:23stay in your father's place where you are unloved and unwanted quit both the places the world is a
13:32huge opportunity live anywhere stay anywhere do whatever is the right work and fly free simple
13:44do i just hear people getting excited at the back is it because we are talking of marriage and girls
13:49yeah
13:59do
14:01do
14:03do
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