- 2 days ago
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00:00I don't know.
00:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:59Yeah, yeah.
01:29Yeah, yeah.
01:59Yeah, yeah.
02:30The girl of my dreams?
02:34It's time to wake up, dude.
02:35I had a dream about that girl again.
02:43Oh, I didn't care the first time you told me.
02:47Care even less now.
02:53But she has cool hair and wheels.
02:58Wow, so specific.
03:00When are you getting your own place?
03:01Isn't this my place?
03:03No.
03:04I let you crash here one time and you never left.
03:06That's not how I remember it.
03:08Could you at least get your own stuff?
03:10Do I have stuff?
03:15You do not have stuff.
03:19Ooh, can I have some?
03:21Some of my coffee?
03:23I don't have to take this guff from you.
03:26You're right.
03:27You don't.
03:28So leave.
03:32I was just about to anyway.
03:33Toronto, Canada.
03:41Not too long ago.
03:43We are all around.
03:55One, two, three, four.
03:57Hey!
03:58Hey!
04:00Hey!
04:01Hey!
04:03Hey!
04:04meetings.
04:20At this time!
04:23Hey!
04:24Hey!
04:25At this time!
04:27Hey, hey, I'm so sorry!
04:43Hey, hey, I'm so sorry!
04:47Wow, you might be the best band of all time.
04:58We're not.
04:59Maybe Knives has really good taste, and those things others don't.
05:03Wouldn't count on it.
05:05Want to do it again?
05:07Let's do it again!
05:17Why aren't you bringing your new girlfriend to Julie's party?
05:28She's not really my girlfriend.
05:30And what is she?
05:32She's...sort of my girlfriend?
05:34Scott, your life is so interesting.
05:37Thanks, Kim!
05:39Oh, that was sarcasm.
05:42All right, you guys want to...
05:47What?
06:12Hey.
06:37Hi.
06:39You know Sonic the Hedgehog?
06:46You probably know this, but in the early 90s, there were two different Sonic cartoons airing at the same time.
06:52One was dark and dramatic.
06:53The other was a hilarious comedy about chili dogs.
06:56And the same guy played Sonic in both shows.
06:59Isn't that wild?
07:00The same guy playing two different versions of the same guy?
07:03Well, maybe you didn't watch cartoons, or...
07:07Or you're not into chili dogs.
07:10They're okay.
07:12I mostly watched older stuff when I was a kid.
07:15You know, Columbo reruns.
07:17Reruns.
07:18Cool.
07:19Got it.
07:20Are you real?
07:22Did you just ask me if I was real?
07:24Uh, nope.
07:25I was talking to someone else.
07:27Bye.
07:28Uh, why are you here?
07:39I'm a plus one.
07:40There were no plus ones.
07:42Everyone here is someone I invited personally.
07:45My parties are curated.
07:47So...
07:50Do you know this one girl with hair like this?
07:54Ramona Flowers?
07:56Ramona.
07:57She's from New York City.
07:59The Big Apple.
08:00She moved here after a bad breakup.
08:01She's single?
08:02Got a job delivering DVDs for Netflix.
08:05DVDs for Netflix?
08:06I'm like her only friend in town.
08:08She needs friends.
08:09I forbid you from dating her, Scott Pilgrim!
08:12Cool, thanks, Julie. Bye!
08:17Wallace, quick!
08:21What movie should I rent?
08:22You're banned from no-account video.
08:24You owe, like, a good jillion dollars in late fees?
08:27Not the rental place.
08:28I'm using the World Wide Web.
08:31What should I rent?
08:32Hmm.
08:33Something starring a hot guy.
08:40I think I need the name of a hot guy.
08:42Hmm.
08:43Fine.
08:44Um...
08:45Lucas Lee.
08:46Best chest in the business.
08:47Hmm.
08:48Action doctor.
08:49Let's hope there's a heaven.
08:50Thrilled to be here.
08:51Ooh!
08:52The game is over, too!
08:53It's over a second time!
08:54That sounds fun!
08:58Are you waiting for the DVD?
09:00It's gonna take a bit.
09:02How long could it take?
09:03Sonic guy?
09:04Yes.
09:05That's me.
09:06Are you...
09:07Wallace Wells?
09:08No.
09:09I'm Scott.
09:10Scott Pilgrim.
09:11Wallace is my cool gay roommate.
09:12He lets me use his credit card.
09:13Oh.
09:14So like a sugar daddy situation.
09:15Sugar what?
09:16Cool.
09:17Enjoy your DVD, Mr. Wells.
09:19Wait!
09:20Hmm?
09:21guy yes that's me are you wallace wells no i'm scott scott pilgrim wallace is my
09:31cool gay roommate he lets me use his credit card oh so like a sugar daddy situation
09:39sugar what cool enjoy your dvd mr wells
09:44wait are you the person in my dreams i thought we went over this already so you are isn't that weird
09:55it's not weird at all there's just a really convenient subspace highway running through
10:02your head it's like three miles in 15 seconds i don't know what that is in kilometers
10:10space subways totally i get it anyway want to go out sometime you want to go on a date
10:18with me doesn't have to be a date it could be a low-key team-up canada and america
10:23joining forces you're new in town i'm old in town what do you think
10:28why are you just standing there dude i'm waiting on you
10:42it's getting nice out eh i didn't really need the parka what's with the x anyway
10:48oh this well obviously one of us went to professor xavier's school for gifted youngsters and one of
10:55us did not is that a sonic thing is it sonic no it isn't so why'd you move to toronto to see you
11:07could go to julie's parties no well i got the job delivering dvds for netflix and gideon always said
11:14toronto is one of the great cities so is gideon a boyfriend he's a friend
11:21so what do you do i'm between jobs between what and what well my last job is a really long story
11:32filled with size maybe we can get into it in a later episode we don't have to talk about our pasts
11:39it's my least favorite subject now i should have checked the weather guess you need that parka now
11:48it's just a little bit of snow did it snow where you came from i thought we were avoiding the past
11:55where you're from that's not the past that's a location fine where are you from up north ah
12:04then you're used to this kind of weather right yeah are you i grew up in the mountains man did you do a
12:15lot of skiing bring me matthew patel the game has begun do you ice skate i assumed considering you rollerblade
12:38i did figure skating when i was four ah look at that you got me talking about the past again
12:45you're quite the trickster scott pilgrim and i wasn't even trying
12:54this really picked up ramona i can't see you relax take my hand
13:01there should be a door around here
13:20this is your apartment so that star door was one of your space subways
13:25basically yeah good thing this wasn't a real date otherwise it would qualify as a major disaster
13:34i'll make us some tea
13:40you look like you're dying let me get you a blanket
13:54you look like you're dying let me get you a blanket
14:01dude i'm changing ah sorry i'm just cold and innocent there you go now i can't see anything
14:08that's better does this help oh i'm cold too
14:24you look like i'm cold
14:27sparks uh-huh were you were you just gonna bring the blanket from your bed
14:34i guess maybe we could both get under it while it's on the bed since we're both cold
14:52i i'm not sure if i'm ready
15:00i changed my mind
15:02from what to what i don't want to have sex with you pilgrim not right now
15:08that's okay that's cool i'm not gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything you can sleep in my bed
15:15and i reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later awesome
15:22you sent for me
15:32i did
15:35i just wanted to say thanks for creating this league it's pretty high concept
15:39i didn't bring you here for flattery things have taken a turn
15:44it seems our dear ramona has a new suitor
15:47it's really happening who is he my interns compiled extensive research on the subject
15:53scott pilgrim 23 years old lives in toronto canada jobless hopeless he's in an indie band of
16:01subjective quality how long have they been dating they've been on one date but he's currently
16:07sleeping in our bed that bastard indeed but this is where it gets interesting scott pilgrim is dating
16:15a high schooler
16:18wait i'm sorry did you say he's dating a high schooler
16:21dating may be a strong word our intel says they've never kissed but they did hold hands once
16:28does ramona know he hasn't told her yet wow and i thought we were evil what's his fight experience
16:39he's been described as quote the best fighter in the province uncle oh this scumbag sounds like a
16:46challenge are you worried no i'm glad it won't be easy i'll relish this victory ramona's new guy's gonna
16:54wish he was never born because his brutal death is inevitable because of me because i'm gonna kill
17:00him and then he'll be dead i hope scott pilgrim enjoys the final few days of his precious little life
17:09what time is it not quite 8 a.m i have to work so you have to leave
17:30hey can this not be a one night stand for one thing i'm not even sure if it would count
17:35hmm i'll consider it what did you have in mind um oh my band has a show tonight at the rocket 9 pm
17:50you have a band yeah we're terrible please come um yeah okay 9 pm the rocket i'll be there
18:05i bet you're wondering why i never came home last night i did wonder how i got so lucky well actually
18:16i am the one who got lucky because i spent the night with the girl of or from my dreams
18:23ramona flowers congrats you need to break up with your fake high school girlfriend
18:28uh do i have to i mean are we really even dating knives thinks you are and knives is an angel
18:37you need to end it immediately fine you're right i'll do it
18:44good by the way there's a letter for you
18:47dear mr pilgrim my name is matthew patel i challenge you to a blah blah blah something about fighting
19:02league of evil exes more like a league of bow ring you coming to our show tonight unfortunately yes
19:17we're going to have to go to our show tonight we're going to have to go to our show tonight
19:23hey knives have you met stacy wow i've heard so much about you so how goes it i am 16 kinds of
19:34pumped to see six bob om tonight that's how it goes i feel so excited i might actually pass out
19:41like a bad kind of crushing oh you poor thing you're better than him just know that okay better
19:56than who
20:17why are you stressing scott who's stressing steven's stressing of course i'm stressing the opening
20:23band pulled out they flaked crashing the boys flaked i heard they were changing it to just crash and
20:30losing the boys you can't call a band crash crash is a cult classic car crash sex film shop right here
20:37in toronto i didn't know you were a cinephile what's a cinephile crash boys either way they probably
20:44cancel because they think we suck we probably do that's not funny kim if we suck then the audience
20:51won't like us they'll think we suck maybe we should cancel the show hey there's only one way to find
20:58out if we suck and that's by playing now
21:05so are you a fan of sex bob om no i'm kind of seeing someone in the band that's crazy i am too
21:24who are you who are you dating in the band
21:40i'd never do you justice
21:50mr pilgrim
22:18wait hold on who are you exactly and why are we fighting uh
22:28aren't you scott pilgrim depends who's asking
22:31uh
22:41uh
22:43cool and you're here because
22:48didn't you read my letter kind of i hand delivered it during a blizzard
22:55remind me what it said exactly
22:57it said ramona flowers has seven evil exes each more powerful than the last all of whom you must
23:06defeat defeat in order to date it was a very detailed letter you knew about this
23:18right right yeah um i heard about it i sort of thought it was a joke and you really dated this guy
23:25yeah in middle school
23:27it was football season and for some reason all the little jocks wanted me matthew patel was the
23:34only non-white non-jock boy in school maybe the only one from miles around so
23:40we joined forces and took them all out nothing could beat matthew's mystical powers combined with my
23:47brute strength we only kissed once and we were quits after something like a week and a half
23:53he didn't even get truly evil until high school and by that time he lived far far away mystical powers
23:59unfair all fair in love and uh war i think it's war time to fight
24:09math patel versus scott pilgrim round one
24:14fight
24:39uh
24:50i won
24:54i won
25:09i won
25:22i won
25:24i won
25:26i won
25:28i won
25:32You know why I chose love, honey, ain't no lie
25:36Cause when you call my name
25:38You know I've learned I couldn't let you
25:41Leave me
25:43We're in this side
25:45Ooh, baby
25:48You drive me crazy
25:50You're much too much
25:53I cannot love you enough
25:55It's alright, hold me tight
25:57When you love me, love me right
26:02Oh, come on, baby, now don't you die
26:05There's love to play for you and I
26:07When you play to your score
26:10I'm gonna get you wherever you go
26:12You leave me
26:14Oh, ruthless side
26:32You are like, you're kind of transcribed
26:37You love me
26:39You drop the Henry
26:42And you're like comedy
26:43You looking in this
26:45That's the final episode
26:47Talk to you
26:47Maybe get you
26:48Stop
26:49Yeah
26:49Bye
26:50Bye
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