- 6 months ago
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00:00:00Satsang with Mooji
00:00:30Mooji
00:01:00Satsang with Mooji
00:01:10September 5th. I have decided to write at least one page in my journal every day.
00:01:16I'll be able to read it later and know exactly what happened to me when I was 16.
00:01:21One of us isn't gonna be here, and one of us is gonna be running.
00:01:31I fall on to the great unknown.
00:01:35You're not me, you're a model of freedom. All you need are your kicks when you need them.
00:01:45You come and go. God, that's low, all right.
00:01:49Maybe this year I'll get on the A-Squad for field hockey.
00:01:53Field hockey, my God. I'm so unlike you.
00:01:57Let me guess, Lucy does it.
00:01:59Oh, Mom.
00:02:00I forgot the world revolves around Lucy.
00:02:02No, I love it. Sometimes we even get up at 6 a.m. to practice.
00:02:06Hey, ooh, yeah, you gotta believe and say what you want.
00:02:13You say, say anything.
00:02:15No one knows just how deep it goes.
00:02:19Here, Mom. I'll take it.
00:02:39No, I'll help you.
00:02:40No, it's fine.
00:02:48I'll call you.
00:02:48All is the right ways, hey, the many-a-wayed escape is the-
00:02:57Becca?
00:02:58We've got it.
00:03:03Dad!
00:03:04Here.
00:03:06You have no idea how much I've missed you.
00:03:08I've missed you, too.
00:03:10Is your room next to mine?
00:03:11Yeah, here. Let me show you.
00:03:13This is your fireplace, and the bathroom is huge.
00:03:16This is gonna be the best year ever.
00:03:18You better hide it before Ms. Rootsy.
00:03:25Ah, come on.
00:03:25Charlie, you can't get expelled on the first day.
00:03:27You can't worry on the first day.
00:03:31So what'd you bring us?
00:03:32There's some downers I stole from my mom.
00:03:34Well, I got chocolate in Geneva.
00:03:36You guys are about Annabelle.
00:03:38She's been hooking up with two different boys from Langley College.
00:03:41Such a whore.
00:03:42Jealous? At least she has sex.
00:03:44Look who's talking.
00:03:45I've had lots of sex.
00:03:46Girls don't count.
00:03:47Why not? And I've done boys.
00:03:48One boy.
00:03:49Oh, are you still all pathetic virgins?
00:03:51Well, I am.
00:03:52But not for long. I've met someone.
00:03:53Hey, Lucy, what about you and Jason?
00:03:55I've worked up with them.
00:03:56Yeah, on Facebook. How cool is that?
00:03:58What about you, Becca?
00:04:00I don't know.
00:04:01We'll see.
00:04:02Bye.
00:04:07Oh, the apple, the apple.
00:04:13Ew.
00:04:13Did you guys hear him?
00:04:16The new English teacher is the guy.
00:04:18Wait, do the dykes who run this place allow that?
00:04:21Like, he's probably gonna have to wear a plaid skirt and knee socks.
00:04:23Like Miss Bobby.
00:04:24Charlie.
00:04:25I saw him.
00:04:27His name's Mr. Davies.
00:04:28He's actually really cute.
00:04:29And he's a poet.
00:04:31Wait till he finds out about Rebecca's dad.
00:04:34Charlie.
00:04:35Not cool.
00:04:35Not about that.
00:04:36About him being a famous poet.
00:04:39He wasn't really famous.
00:04:41Let's go play some hockey.
00:04:43Let's not.
00:04:43Come on, yeah, that's exactly what we'll do.
00:04:45Seriously?
00:04:45Let's go.
00:04:46On the first day.
00:04:46Right now.
00:04:47Why do you have to kill me on the first day?
00:04:49Yes.
00:04:50Yes.
00:05:00Ah, long for these tubs.
00:05:03I know, sometimes I hate it so much when I'm here, but I just miss it all the time when I'm at home.
00:05:09How's your mom?
00:05:10She just sat in her studio and painted.
00:05:13I'm listening to the same music over and over.
00:05:17The same music when I was at home.
00:05:20My dad was listening to him.
00:05:21Rebecca, I want you to meet a new girl, Anessa Block.
00:05:36She'll be in the room across the hall.
00:05:38Please help her find her way around.
00:05:39Sure.
00:05:41It's easy to get lost.
00:05:42Did they tell you this place used to be a hotel?
00:05:44Um, like a hundred years ago.
00:05:46This place has a lot of old nooks and crannies.
00:05:49Breakfast is at 7.30.
00:05:50Morning assembly, 8.30 sharp.
00:05:53You must apply to me for permission to leave the school grounds.
00:05:57You may use one or two staircases to get to the dining room.
00:06:01The left one also goes to the library.
00:06:08It's so, so different from the first time I came to Brangwen two years ago.
00:06:12My father had just died.
00:06:17My mother was a wreck.
00:06:20So I was sent here.
00:06:22Every night, I sat in my room alone, aching for my father.
00:06:39And then I met Lucy.
00:06:41She was so confident, carefree, and normal.
00:06:45She taught me how to be happy again.
00:06:48That's why I love her so much.
00:06:52I wonder what her secret is.
00:07:09Well, everyone's got one.
00:07:11Alcoholic mothers.
00:07:13Nasty divorces.
00:07:15Parents who don't care about them.
00:07:17No one comes to Brangwen unless something bad has happened to them.
00:07:19Except for me.
00:07:20I'm the only boring one.
00:07:23Believe me, I wish I was like you.
00:07:25Good morning.
00:07:26It gives me great pleasure to welcome another freshman class to the Brangwen School.
00:07:32I scored.
00:07:33Party in your room tonight?
00:07:35Your life here will be a moral and spiritual journey
00:07:39that will prepare you for whatever life awaits you outside these gates.
00:07:44She's never going to change this.
00:07:51No.
00:07:51I want to sign up for practice.
00:07:53Okay.
00:07:54I've got to grab my books for English.
00:07:56Check out the cute new teacher.
00:07:57I'll see you at quiet hour.
00:07:58I said I would spend it with Dora.
00:08:01It's our first day back.
00:08:04Okay.
00:08:05I can see her another time.
00:08:06Okay.
00:08:07Great.
00:08:07Hi.
00:08:15Hi.
00:08:16I'm Vanessa.
00:08:18Block.
00:08:19Yeah, I saw you last night.
00:08:22How are you finding everything?
00:08:25It's a little strange.
00:08:26It must be hard with everyone already knowing each other.
00:08:30What's that?
00:08:31It's a friendship necklace.
00:08:32My friend Rebecca gave it to me.
00:08:38It's really pretty.
00:08:45Would you show me around?
00:08:46I don't really know where I'm supposed to be.
00:08:49Yeah.
00:08:51Yeah, come with me.
00:08:53In all of the classic gothic horror stories we see expressed,
00:08:56some kind of anxiety about the modern world.
00:08:58In Bram Stoker's Dracula,
00:09:01some critics see an anxiety about female power,
00:09:04female sexuality,
00:09:06the fear that the pure Victorian maiden
00:09:09could be transformed into a ravenous beast.
00:09:12The story is a shapeshifter,
00:09:14just like the vampire itself.
00:09:17You find it in different forms in almost all cultures,
00:09:19but there are three things you find in every vampire story.
00:09:23Sex,
00:09:25blood,
00:09:27and death.
00:09:27Becca,
00:09:35just want you to know I'm
00:09:36a great admirer of your father's work.
00:09:39I'm going to be running a poetry workshop later this term.
00:09:42I was hoping you'd take part.
00:09:43Yeah.
00:09:45Okay, good.
00:09:47Um, thank you.
00:09:57Are you lost?
00:10:03No.
00:10:05This is one of my favorite places here.
00:10:07The passageway?
00:10:09It's so dark, I always just run straight through.
00:10:12I like looking out the windows.
00:10:13I'm actually going to see Miss Naras.
00:10:16She teaches Greek.
00:10:18I have lessons with her on my own,
00:10:20because no one else wants to do it.
00:10:21I used to study Greek and Latin.
00:10:25I was very serious, even though I was a girl.
00:10:29And other things intervened.
00:10:33Okay, well, um, I'm late for my class, so...
00:10:41I'm not your baby girl.
00:10:54I've done lots of things,
00:10:58and I have made mistakes.
00:11:00But I'm not as pretty as those girls in magazines.
00:11:07So I'm not a baby girl and eating.
00:11:10I'm not every word.
00:11:13Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud.
00:11:20Why do you love me?
00:11:21Why do you love me?
00:11:23Why do you love me?
00:11:24It's time to crazy.
00:11:26Why do you love me?
00:11:28I get back up and I'll do it again.
00:11:31I get back up and I'll do it, do it again.
00:11:35I get back up and I'll do it, do it again.
00:11:37So how's Mr. Davies' class?
00:11:53She has a huge crush on him.
00:11:55And he's just lapping it up.
00:11:56It's sickening up.
00:11:58Tell us much?
00:12:01He's actually really cool.
00:12:03Hey, why don't you switch?
00:12:05No, I like the romantic poets.
00:12:07I thought you hated poetry.
00:12:10No, I just never read the right stuff.
00:12:13You know, Ernessa says poetry is the purest of all the arts.
00:12:17Ernessa?
00:12:17She's incredibly smart.
00:12:19She's going to help me with my German.
00:12:24She speaks it perfectly.
00:12:27I'm just going to go say hi.
00:12:32Hey.
00:12:33What are you reading?
00:12:35It's a book I found in the library.
00:12:37Sit down.
00:12:37What's it called?
00:12:40It's called the song.
00:12:42What's it like?
00:12:42It's her little song.
00:13:02It's almost a gift.
00:13:03It's a great moment.
00:13:04It's so good.
00:13:04It's not better.
00:13:05It's crazy.
00:13:05Go, go, go, go.
00:13:35Hey, did you hear anything last night?
00:13:47No.
00:13:48Why, did you?
00:13:49I thought I saw Ernessa pacing back and forth under our window when she was in her bare feet.
00:13:55It's kind of weird and creepy.
00:13:58She has trouble sleeping, so what?
00:14:00You don't think it's kind of strange?
00:14:03She has issues.
00:14:06Stuff with her family.
00:14:08She's a nice person if you give her a chance.
00:14:10She's a nice person if you give her a chance.
00:14:16I don't know.
00:14:22I'm sorry to interrupt.
00:14:51I usually use this room.
00:14:56I didn't know you played the piano.
00:14:57I hardly ever play anymore.
00:15:01You play so well.
00:15:02How do you do that without looking at the music?
00:15:04My father was your musician.
00:15:07I inherited everything from him.
00:15:11Just as you did.
00:15:13From your father.
00:15:17I didn't inherit anything from my father.
00:15:21Are you sure?
00:15:25I'll find another room.
00:15:29It's wonderful here Daddy.
00:15:33I wanted to show you this place.
00:15:37It's so beautiful.
00:15:46It's wonderful here Daddy.
00:15:48I wanted to show you this place.
00:15:50It's so beautiful.
00:15:52It's always peaceful here.
00:15:56I've missed our walk so much.
00:16:01I thought I would never see you again.
00:16:06Don't be so sad Rebecca.
00:16:08I'm always here.
00:16:10I love you Daddy.
00:16:12Thank you for joining us Rebecca.
00:16:30I'm sorry.
00:16:31It's okay.
00:16:33I was talking about Carmilla.
00:16:35Now with Carmilla, we are looking at one of the originators of the gothic tale.
00:16:4020 years before Bram Stoker wrote Dracula and I think it's fair to say influenced him greatly.
00:16:46Let's talk about the character of Carmilla.
00:16:48The mysterious stranger comes from the west and begins to take over the narrator, Laura.
00:16:54Sometimes with gloating eyes she drew me to her and her hot lips traveled along my cheeks and kisses and she would whisper almost in sobs,
00:17:04You are mine.
00:17:06You shall be mine.
00:17:07You and I are one forever.
00:17:09That lavender bath oil feels so good.
00:17:11I know I can smell it from here.
00:17:13What are you reading?
00:17:14Carmilla?
00:17:15It's from Mr. Davies' class.
00:17:16What's it about?
00:17:17Hey.
00:17:19You know, it's gothic fiction.
00:17:24You're burning red.
00:17:25How do you stand such a water on your skin?
00:17:28We always take half baths before bedtime.
00:17:30It's relaxing.
00:17:31So, I brought us a list of verbs to conjugate.
00:17:34Let's start with...
00:17:37Barden.
00:17:38It's bath.
00:17:39Barden.
00:17:40Mm-hmm.
00:17:41Beginnin'.
00:17:42Beginnin'.
00:17:47Begin.
00:17:52Let me show you how far I go.
00:18:00The vampire is prone to be fascinated by particular persons with an engrossing vehemence resembling
00:18:07the passion of love.
00:18:09It will never desist until it has satiated its passion and drained the very life of its coveted victim.
00:18:17Hello.
00:18:18Do you have a minute?
00:18:19Of course.
00:18:20There you go.
00:18:24It's about Carmilla.
00:18:25Okay.
00:18:26If she's in love with Laura, then why does she want to destroy her?
00:18:30Well, I don't know that she wants to destroy her.
00:18:31She wants to control her.
00:18:32The vampire's a very lonely figure.
00:18:33Carmilla wants a companion in her existence.
00:18:34She wants someone to be all hers forever.
00:18:35But why does Laura want to be friends with someone who is so obviously evil?
00:18:36I suppose she's been hypnotized in some way.
00:18:37Remember, the vampire needs the consent of the vampire.
00:18:38The vampire needs the consent of the vampire.
00:18:39The vampire needs the consent of the vampire.
00:18:40It's about Carmilla.
00:18:41Okay.
00:18:42If she's in love with Laura, then why does she want to destroy her?
00:18:45Well, I don't know that she wants to destroy her.
00:18:47She wants to control her.
00:18:48The vampire's a very lonely figure.
00:18:51Carmilla wants a companion in her existence.
00:18:53She wants someone to be all hers forever.
00:18:56But why does Laura want to be friends with someone who is so obviously evil?
00:19:01I suppose she's been hypnotized in some way.
00:19:03Remember, the vampire needs the consent of the victim.
00:19:06The vampire needs the victim's consent?
00:19:08Yes.
00:19:09Well, in a way.
00:19:10Remember in Dracula, he can only enter if the victim leaves the window open.
00:19:14It's Lucy's fault for being such a weak person.
00:19:16Lucy?
00:19:17No, I mean Laura.
00:19:19It's Laura's fault.
00:19:21In a way.
00:19:23It's been a big help.
00:19:29Hey, Lou, do you have the shoe polish?
00:19:30Do you get new shoes?
00:19:33I don't think those are allowed, are they?
00:19:36These are our Nessas.
00:19:38And why are you cleaning them?
00:19:39She doesn't know how.
00:19:41She's never had to polish her own shoes.
00:19:43It's really not that hard.
00:19:45I'm sure she could do it if she tried.
00:19:47She never eats, have you noticed?
00:20:01What?
00:20:02Ernessa, she never eats anything, ever.
00:20:04Maybe she's on her website.
00:20:05Remember Annie Patterson last year?
00:20:07Her face, look at her skull.
00:20:08And she's still with me.
00:20:09I just don't think that'll ever be my problem.
00:20:11When you lose that much weight, your body can't even keep itself warm.
00:20:14And you're being through a fuss all over your arms.
00:20:16You can see it when they stand against the light.
00:20:18They call it the glow.
00:20:19Is Ernessa glow?
00:20:20No, and I don't think she's starving herself.
00:20:22Look at her, she's a perfect body.
00:20:24Yeah.
00:20:25But if you think she has anorexia, you could just go up to her and feel her arms.
00:20:28This is really fucking stupid.
00:20:34Hello.
00:20:35What's happening?
00:20:36She's too sensitive.
00:20:37What a way to start a morning.
00:20:46Do you think Ernessa's hooking up with someone at Langley College?
00:20:49A boy?
00:20:50No way.
00:20:51She's slipping out at night.
00:20:52What do you mean?
00:20:53I heard her door open last night.
00:20:55And she didn't come back in.
00:20:56At least not until after I fell asleep.
00:20:58Really?
00:20:59It's happened before, too.
00:21:00Weirdo.
00:21:01Maybe she goes out to school.
00:21:02In the middle of the night, going to town?
00:21:04Let's follow her.
00:21:05See where she goes, what she gets up to.
00:21:09Can you see anything?
00:21:10I don't know.
00:21:12It's fucking freezing.
00:21:13What does Ernessa do out here?
00:21:16She watches us sleep.
00:21:23Hey, you know when you see the school from here, you can totally imagine what it looked like back when it was a hotel.
00:21:33Guests drinking tea on the lawn.
00:21:35When I see the school from here, I think about how easy it would be to just walk out.
00:21:40Well, I don't see Ernessa, and it's cold.
00:21:44Come on, let's go.
00:21:45Before the caretaker creeps on us.
00:21:47Dora, we up.
00:21:49Dora, we up.
00:21:50Come on.
00:22:00What are you doing?
00:22:02I can't wait for you.
00:22:03Come on.
00:22:09Deandra, comment for short skirt.
00:22:12Charlotte, third comment for messy hair, detention.
00:22:19Rebecca, comment for dirty shoes.
00:22:22And Mrs. Rude needs to see you in her study now.
00:22:24Always me.
00:22:25How can she be there for her advice?
00:22:27It's like we're in life.
00:22:41When I was a little girl, the farmer said that a nosebleed was a sign of good luck.
00:22:49You really shouldn't be sad about these cheap, sentimental things.
00:22:52I feel like sweeping them all into a pile on the floor.
00:22:55That's cruel.
00:22:56Mrs. Rude lost her husband.
00:22:58She needs these things to go on living.
00:23:00I don't need things to remember my father.
00:23:05Neither do I.
00:23:06Sorry.
00:23:07Oh.
00:23:08No.
00:23:09I'm sorry.
00:23:10No.
00:23:11No.
00:23:17No.
00:23:18No.
00:23:19No.
00:23:24No, no.
00:23:26No.
00:23:27No.
00:23:28No.
00:23:29Before Anessa came here, I was getting my daughter.
00:23:30No.
00:23:31No.
00:23:33Before Anessa came here, I was getting better. I was happy.
00:23:40Now all the darkness has come flooding back.
00:23:45It's like she's invading my mind.
00:23:50Even when I'm alone, I can't escape her.
00:23:56There's this disgusting smell that comes from her room.
00:24:01Sickly sweet, but rotten.
00:24:04Why doesn't anyone else notice it?
00:24:12Lucy?
00:24:16I haven't seen you all day. Where have you been?
00:24:18It's busy.
00:24:21Why did you complain to Mrs. Rude about Anessa's room?
00:24:24Lucy, it's right across the hall from me and it smells really bad.
00:24:27I thought you would be more sensitive, considering.
00:24:29Considering what?
00:24:30Her dad killed himself.
00:24:36I didn't know.
00:24:37I thought you, of all people, would understand.
00:24:39November 9th, his last day on Earth.
00:24:49Lucy didn't remember. She never said anything.
00:24:51We spent it together last year.
00:25:04Well, what's your favorite memory of your father?
00:25:16Let's think about that.
00:25:17What if I had to pick one moment?
00:25:19What if I had to pick one moment?
00:25:21It would be the night we saw the Luna Moth.
00:25:32Look.
00:25:33Look.
00:25:34There.
00:25:35You see it?
00:25:36I've never seen a moth like that before.
00:25:39The Luna Moth was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
00:25:54Why weren't those things enough for him?
00:25:55Why weren't those things enough for him?
00:25:57Why weren't those things enough for him?
00:26:01Why weren't those things enough for him?
00:26:02Why weren't those things enough for him?
00:26:03What if I had to pick one moment...
00:26:04Why were you a vampire?
00:26:05Why were you a vampire?
00:26:06Why were you a vampire?
00:26:07he dies unseen. My father wanted to die unseen. Like an animal who wants to curl up and die alone.
00:26:21Don't feel bad about your father. Some of the greatest artists went mad or committed suicide.
00:26:28Some people find great joy in the prospect of death.
00:26:31Just thinking about it can be a comfort, like lying in your bed and pulling up the covers.
00:26:40The moment of death is ecstatic. It's the most joyful sensation.
00:26:49You are being born into a new existence.
00:27:01You are being born into a new existence.
00:27:18Is my father's illness in my blood too?
00:27:21I wonder when he did it. How much did it hurt?
00:27:29And did it really take the pain away?
00:27:43I wonder what I thought you was saying.
00:28:06Party in my room tonight, FYI.
00:28:07Okay.
00:28:17Oh my goodness, he keeps texting.
00:28:18Holler at Chi, what you bring me today?
00:28:20Oh, hey, so tell me, are you nervous?
00:28:22Of doing it?
00:28:23Yeah.
00:28:24Well, Kiki said it wouldn't hurt that much.
00:28:26I know, it's just the whole thing.
00:28:27I mean, what if it feels weirder?
00:28:29What if you change your mind right in the middle?
00:28:31I don't know.
00:28:33Part of me just wants to get it over with, you know?
00:28:36Don't do that.
00:28:37You have to, it hides the smell.
00:28:38I mean it, I'll have to leave.
00:28:40It'll suffocate me, it's so sweet.
00:28:42Alright, you guys move to the window.
00:28:44We'll just freeze our butts off.
00:28:50Alright.
00:28:53How does it feel?
00:28:55It's fine, I don't even feel anything.
00:28:57Are you serious, Becca?
00:29:00You okay?
00:29:02Just lie down, okay?
00:29:04Don't cry about it.
00:29:05Don't cry about it.
00:29:06Don't cry about it.
00:29:08Don't cry about it.
00:29:13Why is my eyes here?
00:29:21Oh, no.
00:29:22Speaking of yesterday, I am alive.
00:29:23Yes, Andrew.
00:29:24What's going on?
00:29:25What's going on?
00:29:39I need to tell you.
00:29:41Listen to me.
00:29:43I need to tell you.
00:29:45Tell you what it was like.
00:29:49When I first came here,
00:29:51we took the boat over
00:29:53and I kept looking at the grey waves
00:29:55and I kept saying
00:29:57to myself, jump.
00:29:59Jump.
00:30:01But it was too cold.
00:30:05The Branwyn Hotel.
00:30:09I arrived with the same secret
00:30:11that you did.
00:30:13A father's suicide.
00:30:17My mother brought me here
00:30:19because she wanted to put an ocean
00:30:21between his death and me.
00:30:23But to me an ocean was nothing.
00:30:27Everywhere I went,
00:30:29I heard my father's voice
00:30:31calling to me.
00:30:41Did you imagine it?
00:30:43Is that in class?
00:30:45Come here.
00:30:47Yes!
00:30:49Oh my god!
00:30:51Woo!
00:30:53Yay!
00:30:55I have this wonderful
00:30:57idea.
00:30:59We need to do it.
00:31:01Oh.
00:31:03Oh my god.
00:31:05Oh my god.
00:31:07It's a very hot.
00:31:09It's a very hot.
00:31:11Yay!
00:31:13Yay!
00:31:15Okay, guys.
00:31:17Watch this.
00:31:19One, two, three!
00:31:21Hey, Miss Rude!
00:31:23Can you get my chair?
00:31:25I can't get my chair.
00:31:27I can't get my chair.
00:31:29I can't get my chair.
00:31:31I can't get my chair.
00:31:33I can't get my chair.
00:31:35I can't get my chair.
00:31:37Ernessa should never have given us
00:31:39those crazy drugs.
00:31:41Charlie's been expelled.
00:31:43The school wouldn't give her a second chance.
00:32:01This is all Ernessa's fault.
00:32:03She thinks she can get away with anything
00:32:05and no one can touch her.
00:32:07Okay.
00:32:23Dora.
00:32:25Are you awake?
00:32:27No.
00:32:29Okay, I need your help.
00:32:31What?
00:32:33I'm gonna go along the gutters to see what's inside
00:32:35Ernessa's room.
00:32:36Can you watch out?
00:32:37What if Vanessa sees you?
00:32:38I'll just pretend I'm going to Kiki's room.
00:32:40Okay.
00:33:01Hurry up before someone sees you.
00:33:06See you!
00:33:08How You Are Not
00:33:09About Line
00:33:10Cummering
00:33:11Closed Captions,
00:33:12Mrs compris
00:33:25You're Going to Mark.
00:33:26To your programmable
00:33:29John APPLAUSE
00:33:30You've got to come now.
00:33:58Get back to your room.
00:34:00Come on.
00:34:00That I saw.
00:34:05Go on.
00:34:06Now.
00:34:07Come on.
00:34:16What was wrong with you last night?
00:34:18I mean, what happened out there?
00:34:23When I looked into Ernessa's room, I could see these moths.
00:34:27Yeah, okay.
00:34:28No, but thousands of them.
00:34:30That's impossible.
00:34:31I saw them.
00:34:32There were thousands of these shiny little moths, and they started throwing themselves against
00:34:36the glass.
00:34:37I'm sorry, but you're really letting this whole Ernessa thing get to you.
00:34:40I think you're imagining things.
00:34:41Dora, you have to believe me.
00:34:43There's something really weird about that room.
00:34:46Come out with me tonight, and I'll show you.
00:34:47You're scaring me, Rebecca.
00:34:49Please, look.
00:34:50I have to prove this to you.
00:34:53Okay.
00:34:55Okay, I'll do it.
00:34:57Okay.
00:34:57Okay, you ready?
00:35:09Well, while it's slippery.
00:35:11We can feel our way along.
00:35:13You almost fell last time.
00:35:14What's that?
00:35:17What's that?
00:35:29Did that just happen?
00:35:34I don't know.
00:35:38Do you believe in the supernatural?
00:35:40Or the spirit world?
00:35:41No, those are just fairy tales.
00:35:43Where she walked through glass.
00:35:45Maybe she left her window open.
00:35:47You know she didn't.
00:35:47Or it was a trick of the light.
00:35:49Why are you pretending you're not freaked out by this?
00:35:51I am, okay?
00:35:54But it can't be real.
00:35:57There has to be rational explanation behind this, okay?
00:36:01We'll talk about it in the morning.
00:36:05Yeah, okay?
00:36:21Do you want to
00:36:38Do you want to
00:36:41Tara.
00:36:50Dora.
00:37:17And you're certain you're doing nothing?
00:37:18I'm sorry. It's okay.
00:37:19One of your classmates had an accident right outside your window or fall.
00:37:24I'm a very deep sleeper.
00:37:27Maybe we should ask one of the other girls.
00:37:49Or do you?
00:37:50I'm sorry.
00:37:52I'm sorry.
00:37:53I'm sorry.
00:37:54I'm sorry.
00:37:55I didn't see them anymore.
00:37:59The holy and the ivy, when they are both full-grown,
00:38:11O of all the trees that are in the wood, the holy bears the crown.
00:38:17O the rising of the sun, and the running of the deer,
00:38:23the playing of the merry old dance, we're singing in the choir.
00:38:30The holy bears the last one, last one's little fly.
00:38:36I know it's been hard what happened with Dora.
00:38:40The whole thing just seems so...
00:38:42Did they think that she...
00:38:44No, she was very happy. She had no reason.
00:38:48Mom, it was an accident. That's all it was.
00:38:50Okay.
00:38:53It's okay if you don't want to go back there.
00:38:56No. No, I have to go back. Mom, I can't change schools.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:02You know, I was thinking it would just be really great if we could get away.
00:39:08I called John and the twins...
00:39:10Dora fell. She must have fallen.
00:39:14She went out there again and slipped just like I did.
00:39:18Ernessa didn't walk through glass. She couldn't.
00:39:22The window must have been open. It was dark.
00:39:26I won't let myself believe things I know aren't possible.
00:39:31You're listening to mom's library.
00:39:33Hi. Hi. Did you come in by train?
00:39:51My mom gave me a lift.
00:39:53How was your...
00:39:54I gotta return these to the library.
00:39:56Wait, Lucy, wait, please, I'm sorry.
00:40:00Last term, I just...
00:40:02I guess I just got so jealous of you and Ernessa.
00:40:05I think I went a little...
00:40:08I don't know.
00:40:11Crazy. I'm sorry.
00:40:14It's okay. These things happen.
00:40:17No, it's not okay.
00:40:20It's my fault about Dora. I made her go up on the roof.
00:40:23Rebecca, we all went up there.
00:40:25You can't beat yourself up over this.
00:40:27I've just been so stupid.
00:40:29I hated being jealous. I never want to feel like that again.
00:40:36I didn't want to stop being friends with you.
00:40:39It's just that you wouldn't give Ernessa a chance.
00:40:42I've missed you so much.
00:40:47I missed you, too.
00:40:50Let's just start over.
00:40:55And pretend like last term never even happened.
00:40:57Yeah.
00:40:58It feels like a bad dream, anyway.
00:41:03But you have to be friends with Ernessa.
00:41:07We were just talking about you.
00:41:09How we should all do something together.
00:41:11Yes.
00:41:12Let's.
00:41:13Maybe Sunday we can all go into town or something.
00:41:16We could go to the movies.
00:41:17I would love that.
00:41:19Oh, Sunday.
00:41:21I booked two horses to go riding.
00:41:23Oh.
00:41:24Can you ride?
00:41:26No.
00:41:28I never took lessons.
00:41:29We'll have to think of something else.
00:41:31We'll make a plan.
00:41:32We will, for sure.
00:41:33I'm sorry about Sunday, but we're going to spend a lot of time together very soon.
00:41:42We have so much in common.
00:41:43I heard a fly buzz when I died, but the stillness in the room was like the stillness in the air between the heaves of storm.
00:42:00It's as if she's taking you moment by moment through the experience of dying.
00:42:07Okay.
00:42:08On that cheerful note.
00:42:09Thank you very much, ladies.
00:42:14Hi, Rebecca.
00:42:17I have something to show you.
00:42:26It's the first edition of your father's book.
00:42:28You know, I have to tell you, I so admire the way your father kept writing, working all those years.
00:42:33The bank?
00:42:34Yes, the bank.
00:42:36I think he kind of liked having a real job.
00:42:38You know, I'd try to write at night, but there's marking papers and there's preparation.
00:42:45I don't know.
00:42:47Sometimes I just feel my life slipping away.
00:42:51You know, with my dad,
00:42:53it feels like all the bad stuff happened when he was able to stay home all day and write.
00:42:57I won't take that as my inspiration.
00:43:00He really is my hero, you know.
00:43:02Mr. Davis?
00:43:04Yes?
00:43:05I need your supplies.
00:43:06Of course.
00:43:08I was just showing Rebecca here this book.
00:43:10It's a followers.
00:43:11Very rare.
00:43:13Hey.
00:43:22Hey, are you joining basketball?
00:43:25I'm not going to do sports this term.
00:43:27It's too tiring.
00:43:28Why are you so tired?
00:43:29You know you should eat more.
00:43:30I do eat.
00:43:31I eat all the time.
00:43:32I don't see you at breakfast anymore.
00:43:34I'm not hungry in the morning.
00:43:36I don't seem very hungry at dinner either.
00:43:38It's okay, Mom.
00:43:39I'm fine.
00:43:41Okay.
00:43:42Okay.
00:43:43I'm sorry.
00:43:45I'll back off.
00:43:46Where have you been?
00:43:47I couldn't get up this morning.
00:43:48I slept right through the bell.
00:43:49I see that Caroline Wallace and Lucy Blake were late for assembly.
00:44:08You will report for detention after classes.
00:44:11Anessa Block has missed gymnastics for the fourth week in a row.
00:44:16She will report to Miss Bobby to make up these classes.
00:44:20Miss Bobby makes her Nessa swim laps every day after school.
00:44:23It's so unfair.
00:44:24It's like torture for her.
00:44:30Now, into the pool.
00:44:32Into the water.
00:44:33We don't have all afternoon.
00:44:37Head up.
00:44:39Feet.
00:44:40Head down.
00:44:43Bend your elbows.
00:44:44Point your toes.
00:44:45Breathe.
00:45:07I got a...
00:45:08I'm meeting Chris tonight in Upper Field, too.
00:45:10Um...
00:45:12What?
00:45:13You know...
00:45:14Really?
00:45:15Yeah.
00:45:17I want you and Kiki to keep guard.
00:45:20Will you do it?
00:45:21Yeah, of course you want us to.
00:45:23You know...
00:45:24I don't know.
00:45:25I don't know.
00:45:27I don't know.
00:45:28Yes, you know.
00:45:29We'll be right here.
00:45:31I don't know.
00:45:32We'll be right here.
00:45:33Oh, you know, if it rains tonight, we're really...
00:46:03Can you see their hovering spirits entwined through eternity?
00:46:30Just like a poem.
00:46:33Hey, Rebecca.
00:47:00Okay.
00:47:01So, how was it?
00:47:07It was kind of nothing.
00:47:10I feel exactly the same way I did before, and I'm sure I'm not in love with him.
00:47:17Well, did you at least enjoy it?
00:47:18Not really.
00:47:49Hey, girls, be quiet.
00:47:51Assembly is not yet over.
00:47:53Let us turn to hymn 51.
00:47:56Come on.
00:47:57Come on.
00:48:03Come on.
00:48:04Come on.
00:48:05Come on.
00:48:06Come on.
00:48:07Come on.
00:48:08Come on.
00:48:09Come on.
00:48:10Come on.
00:48:11Come on.
00:48:12Come on.
00:48:13Come on.
00:48:14Come on.
00:48:15Come on.
00:48:16Come on.
00:48:17Come on.
00:48:18Come on.
00:48:19Come on.
00:48:20Come on.
00:48:21Come on.
00:48:22Come on.
00:48:23Come on.
00:48:24Come on.
00:48:25Come on.
00:48:26Come on.
00:48:27Come on.
00:48:28Come on.
00:48:29Come on.
00:48:30Come on.
00:48:31Come on.
00:48:32Come on.
00:48:33I shouldn't have said anything about Miss Bobby, but I was so upset, and I don't want
00:48:34to leave you.
00:48:36Mm-hmm.
00:49:06They always keep the door shut.
00:49:13Lucy's just a few feet away,
00:49:15but she might as well be on the other side of the world.
00:49:25I don't look like that.
00:49:27It's cramps. I feel like I'm hemorrhaging.
00:49:30I haven't had my period in months.
00:49:33No thanks.
00:49:34How can you resist this?
00:49:37Lucy, it's your favorite.
00:49:47I'm back to my room.
00:49:50Okay.
00:49:51I have to talk to you about her, Nessa.
00:49:53I'm not going to indulge you in your ridiculous obsession.
00:49:56I'm sorry to say this,
00:49:57but you're just jealous.
00:49:58How can she survive without eating?
00:50:00I don't want to talk about this anymore.
00:50:01I don't want to talk about this anymore.
00:50:01I don't want to talk about this anymore.
00:51:03Wake up. Wake up.
00:51:25Didn't you hear the sirens?
00:51:26The what?
00:51:28The ambulance.
00:51:30They took Lucy.
00:51:32I'll come back later.
00:51:48Something terrible is happening to Lucy.
00:52:00I'm glad she's in hospital.
00:52:04At least she's away from Ernessa.
00:52:14Hey.
00:52:16I brought you some chocolates and a book.
00:52:28What's this?
00:52:30Ernessa was just here.
00:52:32She brought that for me.
00:52:34I'm too tired to read.
00:52:36That book is so heavy.
00:52:38Are you feeling any better?
00:52:40It's not bad feeling so weak.
00:52:42I just lie here and think about breathing.
00:52:44What happened to your flowers?
00:52:46They're all faded.
00:52:48I guess they're starting to die.
00:52:50I just brought them.
00:52:52I just brought them.
00:52:56I just brought them.
00:52:58I just brought them.
00:53:00I just brought them.
00:53:02I just brought them up.
00:53:04It's not too hot.
00:53:06You're better.
00:53:08I just brought them up.
00:53:10I used to love them.
00:53:12I used to love them.
00:53:14I used to show up.
00:53:16I asked them.
00:53:18What's Ernessa doing in the basement?
00:53:48We're not allowed down there.
00:53:55There's that same horrible smell, just like the one from her room.
00:54:09Here, let me help you.
00:54:17Stupid of me.
00:54:25You saved me.
00:54:27Can I tell you something in confidence?
00:54:30Sure.
00:54:31It's my friend, Lucy Blake.
00:54:34She hasn't been eating, and now she's in the hospital.
00:54:37Why don't we talk in the car?
00:54:38Yeah.
00:54:39That's true.
00:54:42There's this other girl, Ernessa Block.
00:54:47She's just a bad influence on Lucy.
00:54:49What do you mean bad influence?
00:54:51She's controlling her, and Lucy just accepts it.
00:54:55You think she's enabling Ernessa?
00:54:57Lucy adores her.
00:54:58But Ernessa doesn't have her best interests at heart.
00:55:01I mean, Lucy's just getting sicker and weaker and thinner,
00:55:04and Ernessa acts like this is all good.
00:55:06You're worried that she's encouraging her eating disorder.
00:55:08Well, it's more than that.
00:55:09She's dangerous.
00:55:10She has some power over Lucy.
00:55:13You know, cooped up here, your girls get so close,
00:55:17all that emotion can turn toxic.
00:55:20I mean, it's obvious Lucy needs help,
00:55:22but maybe you need to step away for a little while.
00:55:25Put all of this emotion into your writing.
00:55:28Rebecca, you're a very intelligent girl.
00:55:33You're one of the brightest I've ever taught.
00:55:36You'll figure this out.
00:55:37When things get worse, don't be afraid to come talk to me.
00:55:40Thanks.
00:55:41Okay.
00:55:42Is everything else you feel?
00:55:56Not really.
00:55:57Lucy has stress.
00:55:59I'm so worried about Lucy.
00:56:01It's been ten days, and they still won't let me see her.
00:56:04Oh, she's much better.
00:56:05How do you know?
00:56:06I don't know.
00:56:08Come on.
00:56:09Okay.
00:56:10Ernessa told me.
00:56:11She visited Lucy.
00:56:12When?
00:56:13Um, several times last week.
00:56:14They let her see Lucy?
00:56:16Well, Mrs. Rude gave her permission,
00:56:17because she's Lucy's very special friend.
00:56:23You let Ernessa see her?
00:56:25I don't know what you're talking about.
00:56:27You told me no visitors.
00:56:28Why would you let Ernessa see her?
00:56:30Lucy asked to see her.
00:56:32But now Ernessa can't visit her either.
00:56:35Well, she's my best friend.
00:56:36It's not fair.
00:56:37Lucy has taken a turn for the worse.
00:56:40The doctors don't think she'll last the next few days.
00:56:43She's so weak.
00:56:44No.
00:56:45I...
00:56:47I have to see her.
00:56:48I have to say goodbye.
00:56:49I have to.
00:56:50It's out of the question.
00:56:52Only family members are allowed to visit.
00:56:57Oh!
00:56:58You disrespectful child!
00:57:06You, me, Lucy.
00:57:08It would be better if we never saw each other again.
00:57:11I'll give her up if you just keep away from her.
00:57:18Have you ever considered how much we look alike?
00:57:20Yes, very good.
00:57:21Yes, very good.
00:57:23Yes, Johnston, nurse.
00:57:24She would bring all his green...
00:57:25Lucy.
00:57:26Yes, Johnston, nurse.
00:57:27She would bring all his green...
00:57:29Lucy!
00:57:30Yes.
00:57:32Hurry.
00:57:47Yes, Johnson, the nurse.
00:57:48She would bring me all this green gel.
00:57:50Lucy.
00:57:51I'm inspired, I swear.
00:57:53Lucy!
00:57:54Look, she's back.
00:57:55And she's so much better.
00:57:57Doctors think of a miracle.
00:58:00Can I talk to you about something?
00:58:13Of course.
00:58:18Look, I know what happened with Dora and Miss Bobby.
00:58:21Made everybody pretty crazy.
00:58:23Well, they'll calm down.
00:58:25Eventually the school will get back to normal.
00:58:27No, it won't.
00:58:28Because the person who's doing this hasn't finished yet.
00:58:31She still has one more victim.
00:58:33It's the one she came for.
00:58:34The others, they just got in her way.
00:58:36I'm sorry?
00:58:37The girl I told you about, Ernessa Block.
00:58:40The next victim is who?
00:58:42Lucy Blake.
00:58:50Why are you saying this?
00:58:51Because this time, Lucy won't make it to the hospital.
00:58:54Rebecca, you know what you're saying can't possibly be true.
00:58:56Lucy got better when the doctors banned her visitors.
00:59:00She got better because Ernessa couldn't get to Ernessa and won't let that happen again.
00:59:04Listen, Rebecca.
00:59:08I understand.
00:59:10This has been a difficult year for you.
00:59:12You're still coming to terms with what happened to your father, but you can't blame it all on Ernessa.
00:59:16It is Ernessa.
00:59:18Why can't anyone else see that?
00:59:19Rebecca.
00:59:24You're too young for all these morbid thoughts.
00:59:46Lucy.
00:59:55I know you're getting sick again.
01:00:01I'm worried I need to call your mother.
01:00:03Lucy, I know you're getting sick again.
01:00:14I'm worried.
01:00:15I need to call your mom.
01:00:19I'm not sick.
01:00:21Really, I'm not sick.
01:00:24It's something else.
01:00:26Don't you want your mom to come get you?
01:00:28You can't call her.
01:00:29She'd come right away in the middle of the night.
01:00:31Lucy, I just don't understand why you won't let me help.
01:00:34It's because you just want to believe that I'm still the old Lucy.
01:00:38It's sad.
01:00:40You don't care about the new me, the real Lucy.
01:00:43You don't even want to know her.
01:00:45This is all Ernessa's fault.
01:00:47She's turned you against me.
01:00:49That's why you're saying this.
01:00:50I want to blame her for everything.
01:00:52Because she is to blame for everything.
01:00:54If she hadn't come here this year, we would have had a great year.
01:00:57Don't you see?
01:00:58She's ruined everything for me.
01:01:00God, I hate her so much.
01:01:02I'd kill her if I had the chance.
01:01:03Don't talk like that.
01:01:04It's sick.
01:01:08Look at yourself.
01:01:13Tell me you don't look sick.
01:01:15You can barely stand up.
01:01:19Look at yourself.
01:01:20Just leave me alone, please.
01:01:26I can't stand having you around me all the time.
01:01:30Wanting me only for yourself.
01:01:32You're a fucking drag.
01:01:35You pull me down with all your pain.
01:01:37I'll never speak to her again.
01:02:03Never.
01:02:04Never.
01:02:33Lucy?
01:02:33Lucy?
01:02:42Lucy?
01:02:45Lucy!
01:02:45Lucy!
01:02:46Lucy!
01:02:47Lucy!
01:02:49Lucy!
01:02:51Lucy!
01:03:17Lucy!
01:03:19Lucy!
01:03:21Lucy!
01:03:23Lucy!
01:03:25What happened?
01:03:27Lucy!
01:03:29Lucy!
01:03:31Lucy!
01:03:33Lucy!
01:03:35Lucy, don't leave me!
01:03:37Please don't leave me!
01:03:39Lucy, please!
01:03:41Please don't leave me!
01:03:43Lucy, please!
01:03:45Please don't leave me! Please!
01:03:47Please!
01:04:15Please don't leave me!
01:04:17Please don't leave me!
01:04:19Please don't leave me!
01:04:21Please don't leave me!
01:04:23Please don't leave me!
01:04:25Please don't leave me!
01:04:27Please don't leave me!
01:04:29Please don't leave me!
01:04:31Please don't leave me!
01:04:33Please don't leave me!
01:04:35Please don't leave me!
01:04:37I know how hard Lucy's death must have been for you.
01:04:59Thank you for coming to see me, Rebecca.
01:05:02The school made me.
01:05:04They're concerned about you.
01:05:05They think you have some unresolved feelings about your father.
01:05:08Can you tell me a little about his death?
01:05:11He slid his wrists.
01:05:14Both of them.
01:05:16Did you see him?
01:05:20I was kept away.
01:05:24Let's talk about the conversation you had the other day with Mr. Davies.
01:05:27You don't really believe what you said about that other girl, do you?
01:05:32Mr. Davies talked to you?
01:05:35He told you what I said?
01:05:38He talked to Ms. Root.
01:05:39Obviously, he was concerned.
01:05:41Wordsworth, lyrical, vows.
01:05:49Anybody heard of him?
01:05:50I'm sorry.
01:05:51No.
01:05:52You wasn't doing it.
01:05:53There people did.
01:05:54You were those friends through my team.
01:05:55I would just let you know, if it was a great job and that I saw you.
01:05:56I didn't like you.
01:05:57I just did nothing.
01:05:58I thought I mattered.
01:06:00I had no idea.
01:06:01I did no idea.
01:06:02I did nothing know.
01:06:04I hope you were to talk to you now.
01:06:06I did nothing like me, other people did you know?
01:06:10I didn't know how to do Iего?
01:06:12I am raising pauses.
01:06:13It was a little bit of pain coming.
01:06:14It was a little bit of fun.
01:06:15But, they went away.
01:06:18I broke your childhood, my dad.
01:06:19Daddy?
01:06:28Daddy?
01:06:30Daddy?
01:06:49Daddy?
01:07:15Books won't save you.
01:07:17Your writing won't save you.
01:07:20The past won't save you.
01:07:22Mr Davies won't save you.
01:07:25Daddy can't save you.
01:07:27My father wanted to save me.
01:07:30He loved me. I know he did.
01:07:33He's the one who caused you all this trouble in the first place.
01:07:36You're wrong.
01:07:38The good things I remember about my father,
01:07:41the walks we took, the fairy tales he read to me,
01:07:43they all really happened.
01:07:45He read you other fairy tales that you forgot.
01:07:48My mother, she butchered me.
01:07:51My father, he ate me.
01:07:54My sister, little Anne Marie,
01:07:57she gathered up the bones of me
01:08:00and tied them in a silken cloth
01:08:04to lay under the juniper.
01:08:07Toi, toi, what a pretty bird am I.
01:08:14It's time to free yourself.
01:08:17You must have been caught in a silken.
01:08:19I don't want to see.
01:08:20My sister, the woman gets trapped in a silken.
01:08:22That's all a different way.
01:08:23I'm telling,
01:08:24I need to know that he's got in a silken.
01:08:25I'm telling her.
01:08:26I've told her my mother,
01:08:27she's got in a silken.
01:08:28She's got in a silken.
01:08:29She's got in a silken.
01:08:30She's got in a silken.
01:08:31I'm telling her to have the country.
01:08:32I'm telling her to live,
01:08:33She's just like,
01:08:34and she's got in the cult.
01:08:35She's got in a silken,
01:08:36She's got in a silken.
01:08:37She was his name.
01:08:38She's got in a silken.
01:08:39Ah!
01:12:39Ernessa died here, and she wants me to die here too.
01:12:50I'm the one she came for.
01:12:55It was me all along.
01:12:57I'm the one she came for.
01:13:27I'm the one she came for.
01:13:37I'm the one she came for.
01:13:39I'm the one she came for.
01:13:52I'm the one she came for.
01:14:06I'm the one she came for.
01:14:19I'm the one she came for.
01:14:33I'm the one she came for.
01:14:47I'm the one she came for.
01:15:01I'm the one she came for.
01:15:02I'm the one she came for.
01:15:04I'm the one she came for.
01:15:06I'm the one she came for.
01:15:10I'm the one she came for.
01:15:16I'm the one she came for.
01:15:50Rebecca, you'd better come with me.
01:16:08Your mother is waiting for you at the police station.
01:16:12They need to ask you some questions.
01:16:50They're suspicious of me, but I'm not afraid.
01:17:10They will find the ashes of her trunk in the basement, but they won't find a body.
01:17:15Ernessa is gone, and she's not coming back.
01:17:23I set us both free.
01:17:27Can you open the window just a little?
01:17:31Sure.
01:17:32One track mine like a goldfish, stuck inside my petri dish.
01:17:53I can't breathe in, I can't smile.
01:17:58This better be worth my while.
01:18:02I feel numb most of the time.
01:18:06Lower I get the eye.
01:18:09I find I will wonder why I got dark only to shine.
01:18:22Looking for the golden light.
01:18:25Oh, it's the reason I will sacrifice.
01:18:37For the family, for the friends.
01:18:42It's how it started, how it ends.
01:18:46I can't open up and cry.
01:18:48I can't open up and cry.
01:18:50Cause I've been silent all my life.
01:18:54I feel numb most of the time.
01:18:58I feel numb most of the time.
01:18:59Lower I get the fire.
01:19:01I'll climb and I will wonder why I got dark only to shine.
01:19:14Looking for the golden light.
01:19:18Oh, it's the reason I will sacrifice.
01:19:26Shine.
01:19:30Looking for the golden light.
01:19:34Oh, it's the reason I will sacrifice.
01:19:39Sacrifice.
01:19:40I feel numb most of the time.
01:19:46The rocket's the higher.
01:19:49I'll climb by the wonder-wide.
01:19:54I got dark only to shine.
01:19:59Not like the younger sky.
01:20:02Stars that burn the brightness.
01:20:05Lighters, fall so fast and pass you by, cough like empty lighters, shine the light of the sky, stars that burn the brightest, fall so fast and pass you by, spark like empty lighters.
01:20:35Thumb-thumb-dumb-dumb.
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