- 1 day ago
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GamingTranscript
00:00Welcome back to Hazzard County.
00:11You'll find things pretty much the way you left them.
00:15Culture and good breeding are still the road.
00:18Don't you dare.
00:19Ah-ah.
00:20Hey, Jesse Dukes, you get that rattle trap out of the way.
00:24This here's an official vehicle.
00:27Hold your horses, Roscoe.
00:28Giant blue fool.
00:30The local law is still the model of courtesy and kindness.
00:34And if you believe that, I'll tell you nothing.
00:38Most ways, people have just been going about the business.
00:41That's new, ma'am.
00:42Fine day, ain't it?
00:48And for a week of Sundays, our old friends Bo and Luke Duke
00:51haven't come within a Kentucky mile of violating their probation.
00:55Now, you know that ain't gonna last.
00:57So if I don't get the money to Boss Hog soon, he's gonna foreclose on us.
01:02Now, that's just plain wrong.
01:04Say, ain't the stock car race today?
01:06I bet that prize money be more than enough to pay off the mortgage.
01:08If you can win, that is.
01:10Now, who left the door open?
01:12You got an appointment, Boss Hog?
01:15This ain't a business call, Cooter.
01:17I'm just visiting with friends.
01:20You looking for some more offense to rob?
01:22I just dropped by to say there ain't no way you're gonna win that stock car race.
01:28You see, it's like this.
01:30Now, Boss was confident, and rightly so.
01:34Because while he was talking,
01:35Roscoe was taking out a little insurance policy on the race.
01:39Decaf insurance.
01:41With two sugars.
01:42I hope you fellas is ready to lose big time against my double zero.
01:49Come on, Roscoe.
01:51Can you really beat the double zero in this offense?
01:54Darling, the General Lee is the fastest automobile in Hazard County.
01:58Of course, that wasn't always the case.
02:00Ain't that the truth?
02:02Now, back then, the General Lee was just beat up on a black charger.
02:06Cooter told the boys some parts had just turned up in the junkyard.
02:10So, that's where Bo and Luke were heading.
02:12Come on, can't this thing go any faster?
02:15Not without those parts.
02:18Boys, with a proper automobile,
02:22y'all could really make it on the circuit.
02:25Well, what's your game?
02:26Tell you what, y'all.
02:27Beat me back to my garage,
02:29and I will build your dream car.
02:32Okay, on three.
02:40And after we installed them parts,
02:42he's been winning for us ever since.
02:44Ain't you, General?
02:46Uh, gentlemen, check the time.
02:49We're late.
02:50Don't you worry, Sally Cho.
02:51We'll make it on time.
02:52Everything checks out here,
03:00except for that funny smell.
03:02Mm-hmm.
03:04If I ain't mistaken,
03:05that's the delicious aroma,
03:08a hazard county blend.
03:10You mix the finest high-octane fuel
03:13with a touch of decaf.
03:15It's a cold-trained family recipe.
03:18Look good.
03:19You spiked our tank.
03:21Ain't no chance of paying that mortgage now.
03:23Now, now, boys.
03:24Don't fret none.
03:25I could see you powder the money.
03:29Yeah, that is in exchange for your services.
03:33Bo and Luke had landed themselves
03:35in a bit of a pickle.
03:36We all know a pickle
03:38can get a little seedy on the inside.
03:44$4,800, $4,900, $5,000.
03:50Of course, you're still way in the hole.
03:53What with your interest compounded hourly.
03:57Hourly?
03:57Why, you low-down skunk.
03:59Now, now, the money ain't for me.
04:02I'm putting it toward urban revitalization
04:05to spruce up our town square
04:08in honor of one of our local luminaries.
04:12Civic-minded fella now, ain't he?
04:18If I know J.D. Hogg,
04:21it ain't the orphanage he's after,
04:23but the land it sits on.
04:25And whatever he plans to build,
04:28he's gonna need a permit.
04:30The permit files were in the county courthouse,
04:33but walking in the front door wouldn't do,
04:36nor the back door,
04:37being guarded by Deputy Enos Strait,
04:40the most honest and dedicated lawman
04:42from here to Chickasaw County.
04:44Fortunately, it was no secret
04:46that Enos was sweet on Bo and Luke's cousin, Daisy.
04:50So when she invited Enos to a picnic,
04:53they knew he'd take the babe.
04:58Now, it was Daisy's job
05:00to keep Enos looking the other way.
05:03And if there's one thing Daisy knew,
05:05it was how to turn heads.
05:08Just look at those clowns, Daisy.
05:11That's so pretty.
05:12It's hot today, Addis.
05:14Mmm, sandwich.
05:16There goes the heaviest garage door opener
05:18in Hazard County.
05:22So with the help of Enos' car,
05:25Luke made it to the county courthouse
05:27and started looking for something
05:30to make sense of the whole mess.
05:32Yeah, Enos, I reckon a saved monkey
05:34could do a better job than that fool.
05:37What in tarnation has he got to?
05:39I'm gonna have to stay out of sight
05:40while I look for whatever it is I'm looking for.
05:45Found it.
05:46What's Boss Hogg doing with a fishing permit?
05:49Did you say a fishing permit?
05:51That's all we struck out.
05:54Oh, we got bigger trouble.
05:55Enos is getting fidgety.
05:57It should've been nice, Daisy.
05:59I gotta get back to work.
06:00But we only just got here, honey.
06:07Between the sandwiches,
06:09Daisy's apple pie,
06:10and the heat of the day,
06:12Enos never suspected a thing.
06:14But Boss Hogg did.
06:17And when a friendly visit
06:18to the Duke residence
06:20turned up the permit,
06:21there was nothing to do
06:23but arrest the owner of the property.
06:25And that was Jesse Duke.
06:28They even impounded his truck
06:30to add insult to injury.
06:36Step one was to get Jesse's truck
06:38out of the lockup.
06:44Roscoe ended up with a bent axle,
06:47a front seat full of bird benders,
06:48and a powerful conviction.
06:50Stay at his post no matter what.
06:53Woo-hoo!
06:54Diddy!
06:58Now that we've got Uncle Jesse's truck,
07:00we can yank the bars
07:01right out of the cell wall.
07:03More fancy driving
07:04ain't gonna shift Roscoe.
07:05What about dynamite?
07:07Daisy, we wanna break Uncle Jesse
07:08out of jail,
07:09not blow him to kingdom come.
07:11Not for the jailhouse, silly.
07:13No, just for show.
07:14No, it'll get hurt,
07:15and it's sure to be Roscoe Redden.
07:20Ain't nothing more foolish
07:22than walking into a mine
07:23full of leaky old dynamite sticks.
07:28Except driving out with one.
07:31This has got to be
07:32the dumbest stunt
07:33I ever had a hand in.
07:34Yeah, well, watch the road,
07:36or we're gonna be blown right off it.
07:37You can rev it all you want, Luke Duke,
07:42but I ain't fudging
07:43from this spot for nothing.
07:47Don't bet on it, Roscoe.
07:48Of course, everybody's got a soft spot.
07:51And the Duke's had a pretty good idea
07:54where old Roscoe was doing his.
07:56What the?
07:57What?
07:58Why are you...
07:59Oh, sorry, bossy.
08:01You gotta give Roscoe one thing.
08:03He's dependable.
08:05Afternoon, Uncle Jesse.
08:06I know what you're up to, Jesse Duke.
08:17Don't you move a muscle.
08:20And here comes cavalry.
08:21Oh, hey, Uncle Jesse.
08:22Need a lift?
08:23You couldn't have picked me up
08:24in a car with working doors?
08:30Oh.
08:30It was a heck of a plan.
08:38But it will be, though.
08:39It has to be free
08:40the boys can get back
08:41to see the night orphanage.
08:42When I was in the polking,
08:49I overheard J.D.
08:50Hogg's hiding something secret
08:52at one of his stills,
08:54and it's got to do
08:55with your orphanage.
08:57But boss Hogg got a still
08:59under every rock in Hazard County.
09:01Where do we start?
09:02I also heard J.D.'s drivers
09:04picking up a load,
09:05and I aimed to follow him.
09:07Now, wait just a second,
09:08Uncle Jesse.
09:09You can't...
09:10Being locked up
09:11had set right for Jesse.
09:13So while Bo and Luke
09:14twiddled their thumbs,
09:15Jesse waited for
09:17Boss Hogg's man
09:18to drive by.
09:24Huh-uh.
09:26Ain't nothing more
09:27than moonshine.
09:28What have we here?
09:31Hog Heaven Fishery
09:32and Water Sports Park.
09:35Well, there ain't no lake
09:37in...
09:38Why, that slimy toad.
09:43Jesse had discovered
09:44Boss Hogg's evil plan
09:46to flood the valley.
09:47Getting home to tell about it
09:49was another story.
09:50Hogg was kind enough
09:51to lend him a still.
09:53Of course, he didn't know it
09:54at the time.
09:57Roscoe, we got Duke trouble
09:59in the swamps.
10:01Uh-oh.
10:01Time to get going.
10:04Boss Hogg is gonna blow
10:06the dam behind the orphanage
10:08and turn Hazard County
10:09into a water park.
10:10That permit was for a fishery,
10:13not fishing.
10:14But we can beat him
10:16if we win the Hazard County Derby.
10:19The bad part
10:20about small-town living
10:21is that there ain't no privacy
10:23from nosy neighbors.
10:24How?
10:25There ain't enough prize money
10:26in the world
10:27to pay off that mortgage now.
10:29Well, let me tell you
10:30all about it.
10:32Win a day, B.
10:34How's that gonna make a difference?
10:36Well, see, I didn't...
10:38I didn't hear the whole...
10:40You can't even get in the race
10:41without an official entry form.
10:44And only I got them.
10:47Still, it don't pay
10:48to underestimate Jesse Duke.
10:50We may have to launch
10:52Operation Water Wings
10:54a little early.
10:56Oh!
11:03That there brew
11:04is the smell of victory.
11:07Now, all we need
11:08is enough paint
11:09for our little surprise,
11:10and that entry form is ours.
11:13Uncle Jesse!
11:14Uncle Jesse!
11:14Here comes trouble.
11:16You must have scared
11:17Boss Hogg something awful.
11:20He's gonna tear down
11:21the orphanage right now.
11:23There's bulldozers
11:24all over town
11:24and a demolition crow
11:25on its way, Uncle Jesse.
11:27Well, what are we waiting for?
11:29You boys got to get that paint.
11:31Cooter can stop the bulldozers,
11:33and Daisy will handle
11:34the demolition team.
11:40There weren't nobody
11:42in Hazard County
11:43better equipped
11:43to lead men astray
11:45than Miss Daisy Duke.
11:47One bad of those
11:48eyelashes,
11:49and she'd steal
11:50the key to your heart.
11:51Or,
11:52the key to your egg.
12:02Those meddling dudes.
12:04First they demolished
12:06my demolition team,
12:07and now they's up
12:08to something
12:09with that derby.
12:11Well, they won't get
12:12this for them
12:13while I'm here, boss.
12:14At home,
12:14it's them!
12:15Oh, don't worry,
12:17little fat buddy.
12:18I'll protect you.
12:21Dummy,
12:21if they was after
12:22that farm,
12:23they'd come inside.
12:25But they's up
12:25to something outside.
12:28And you're gonna
12:29stop them.
12:30But now!
12:32Go, dummy, go!
12:36Them dumb dudes.
12:38The longer
12:38Roscoe chases them,
12:40the further they get
12:41from this
12:42beautiful entry form.
12:49Dang that, Roscoe.
12:51I knew I couldn't
12:52count on him
12:53for nothing.
12:54Enos!
12:56Yes, sir,
12:56Mr. Hogg.
12:57Get out
12:58and find them
12:59Duke boys.
13:00And when you do,
13:02throw them in jail
13:03along with that
13:04nanny you call a boss.
13:05You mean you,
13:06Mr. Hogg?
13:07No, not me.
13:09That dummy Roscoe dummy!
13:11Now give!
13:14What's going on?
13:16I got them down
13:17by the river, boss.
13:18And I got up
13:19by the gold man.
13:20How could they be
13:21in both places
13:23at once?
13:24And still be
13:24standing right in front of you.
13:26And still be
13:27standing right in front of you.
13:29Huh?
13:30Ah!
13:31But you,
13:32how'd you...
13:33Practice!
13:34And three General Lees.
13:39Oh, that was fun!
13:41Think he'll come after us?
13:46Congratulations, boys!
13:48Uncle Jesse's plan worked.
13:50Now why don't you
13:50get that freshly stamped
13:51form over to the track?
13:53Did you say stamped?
13:55We were supposed
13:55to stamp it?
13:56Well, for goodness sakes!
13:59All right,
13:59I'll bring you
14:00the stamp
14:00at the starting line, fellas.
14:02Little Bo Peep
14:02on her way!
14:04Miss Daisy,
14:05I can't let you
14:06into boss's office.
14:07Not even a teeny-weeny
14:08little Peep.
14:09I promise
14:10I won't be lying.
14:12Ain't nothing in the world
14:13gonna move me
14:14from this door,
14:14Miss Daisy.
14:18Those darn dukes,
14:19I'll get them!
14:24Ooh!
14:24Found the stamp!
14:26I gotta get out of here!
14:28Now,
14:29where y'all reckon
14:30that brake fluid
14:31came from?
14:36Oh, no!
14:37I've made y'all
14:38late for the derby!
14:40You'll never get
14:41around the canyon
14:41in time for the race, fellas!
14:43Well, maybe we don't
14:44have to go around
14:45the canyon.
14:46Between Cooter's turbo
14:47and Uncle Jesse's
14:48rocket fuel,
14:49we could go over it!
14:50You'll be smashed
14:51to pieces!
14:52Well, it's better
14:53than drowning
14:53when Boss Hogg
14:54gets his hands
14:54on that dam.
14:55Oh!
14:55Oh!
14:56Oh!
14:56Oh!
14:56Oh!
14:57Oh!
14:57Oh!
14:57Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:58Oh!
14:59Oh!
15:00Oh!
15:01Oh!
15:01Read it and wait,
15:02Boss.
15:02An official entry
15:03form stamped
15:04and everything!
15:05Even if you win,
15:07it ain't enough
15:08to buy back
15:09that orphanage
15:10you'll lose!
15:12I think you're
15:13forgetting something,
15:14boss.
15:14And what's that?
15:16After we win,
15:17we get interviewed
15:17live on TV.
15:19What the...
15:20Wait!
15:20Oh!
15:21But you ain't
15:22never won a race
15:23against my
15:24double zero,
15:26and it's got
15:26a nitrous oxide system,
15:28Not some moonshine gas.
15:32See you from the winter cycle, boys.
15:35Ain't nothing stopped us before.
15:37Except that cup of coffee.
15:39If them Duke boys win, I'm ruined.
15:44And when I say I, I mean you.
15:48Yeah, that's your boss.
15:49Yes, you betcha.
15:50Oh, look.
15:58Any words for the camera?
16:00Quiet, Goofus.
16:01I'm trying to hear the sound of my own doom.
16:04Well, first thing, we'd like to thank our family and friends for supporting us.
16:08Also, we'd like to say a few words about Boss Hogg.
16:11Catch me, Roscoe.
16:13I'm gonna faint.
16:14Hazard County Orphanage has been going through some tough times.
16:17The local bank has even been trying to foreclose on their mortgage.
16:20We're proud to announce that Boss Hogg has donated the orphanage
16:26and all the land behind it to the orphans.
16:30What?
16:31Listen, Boss ain't never said nothing about giving nothing to no...
16:35Are you trying to send me to the electric chair?
16:38I hear that.
16:39That's right.
16:43Oh, that was mighty nice of you, buddy.
16:45I didn't know you had it in you.
16:48Me neither.
16:50Oh, thanks for everything, Cooter.
16:52Any old time, Bo?
16:54Well, we couldn't have done it without your rocket fuel, Uncle Jesse.
16:57Speaking of which...
16:59Cooter, what do you say we go to see if there's any left over?
17:03Now there's a plan.
17:04Oh, I'm just so proud of you, boys.
17:11You did it!
17:12I guess that car is just as fast as you said.
17:15You want to find out for sure?
17:17Bo, you've been driving a General this whole time.
17:20I want to try out that new rocket fuel.
17:21Now you don't reckon he's going to do what I think he's going to do.
17:27Wouldn't change if they could.
17:31Y'all come back soon, Nick.
17:33Just enjoy the race.
17:41Okay, now remember, use that turbocharger in your Rainbow Canyon.
17:53Otherwise, we're going to go splat.
17:56If I've done it once, I can do it again, cuz.
17:58I can't believe this joke is part of the race.
18:01Man, Boss Hogg chooses a race for us now.
18:04That must be some kind of record.
18:09What happened?
18:11Close my eyes, won't be left around.
18:19I'm not getting a thing, is this?
18:39Woohoo!
18:45We are racing now, Lou.
18:48Ah, ain't nothing quite like it.
18:50I don't know about the troopers, I felt that way.
19:11Trucks work out in front of us on purpose, Luke.
19:14And I know why, that's Roscoe P. Coltrane behind the wheel of that dirt truck.
19:19Yeah, hell, I ain't getting away from me this time.
19:24Let's show that double zero how it's done.
19:43Hold on, cuz.
19:45Lies, you in there?
20:13Lies, you win this race and you're all gonna get the biggest kiss ever!
20:18Well, we ain't kissing cousins for nothing, Daisy.
20:23Punch him, cuz.
20:25I got you, double zero. Ain't no car better than Jim Lee.
20:43I'll be right there.
20:45I'll be right there.
20:47You're right there.
20:49Okay.
20:52You're right there.
20:55And if we don't wanna get a new team, we're gonna get a new team.
20:57Now, as you well know, let me form a good contest, and there ain't no better competition
21:24South of the base pixel line, then boss holds double zero
21:28Ain't nothing faster than the double zero
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