- 06/06/2025
Categoria
🎥
CortometraggiTrascrizione
00:00I am doing a bad job, I am doing a bad, bad job tonight.
00:03It can't be that bad, just relax.
00:05No, no, no, I will not relax, I will not relax.
00:07What happens?
00:08Okay, so I was talking to this guy and he was attractive, right?
00:10I guess, and things got dull, so I told him about Mickey.
00:13Of course.
00:13Of course!
00:14Who's Mickey?
00:15Oh my God, Patrick, I cannot believe you don't know this.
00:17When I was a kid, I did imaginary friend.
00:18His name was Mickey.
00:19My dad was like super cute, always played along with it,
00:21until one day I sat my dad down and, I don't know why,
00:24I told my dad that my imaginary friend touched me.
00:27That's a great story.
00:29It's the best.
00:30Story.
00:30The boy didn't respond well?
00:31No.
00:32Night's ruined, it's finished, I'm too sad, I can't have fun anymore,
00:35I'm too sad, I can't be happy with all this, the stuff going on.
00:37Just because of the boy?
00:38No, just because of the boy, okay, because of the stuff, you know, the stuff.
00:41What stuff?
00:43North Korea, I don't know.
00:44Okay, don't take this personally, but I'm a person, Tom.
00:48I think maybe the reason people don't respond too well in nightclubs
00:51is because of your saddest shit face.
00:53Oh!
00:54I mean, well, I mean, that is personal, isn't it?
00:57That is very personal.
00:58Very personal, Tom.
00:59Very personal.
01:00You just have a weird energy in nightclubs, you suck all the fun out.
01:03You should behave more like Patrick.
01:04Yeah.
01:05What?
01:05Why?
01:06You're very cool.
01:07I'm not cool.
01:07You're so cool, you're so comfortable with yourself.
01:10Hangin' out with your cool gang.
01:11I just don't think I'm cool.
01:12Fuck off.
01:13What gang, by the way?
01:14I don't have a gang.
01:16Not tonight.
01:17Where's Patrick's gang?
01:18Where's his gang?
01:19Where's his little gang gone?
01:20Now I remember why I don't play out with you guys that often.
01:23What do you want to talk about?
01:24What would your cool friends talk about?
01:25The Harley-Davidson's, uh, talk about hip-hop music, quinoa?
01:31Quinoa.
01:32Yeah.
01:33Ugh.
01:34Okay.
01:35We can chew you up.
01:36You say that now, and then five minutes we'll just be off kissing some girl.
01:39So surprisingly good at that.
01:41Why is it surprising?
01:41It's not that surprising.
01:42Oh, fuck off.
01:43I have moves.
01:44Tom, they only kiss you because you look achievable.
01:46Yeah.
01:47That's a move.
01:49Do you guys have a lighter?
01:50No, Patrick.
01:51No, we do not have a lighter.
01:52Cool dude Patrick lighting one of his cool dude cigarettes.
01:55Cigarettes are disgusting, okay?
01:57You smell so horrible.
01:58Always.
02:02Smooth.
02:04Too much, yeah?
02:05Too much telling him that he smells horrible.
02:07You are overcompensating very hard to hide your love.
02:11Yeah.
02:11Remember when you told him to fuck off?
02:14Shut up, okay?
02:15Twice.
02:16Right, Patrick?
02:17Hi.
02:25What are you doing?
02:27I'm marketing you.
02:28I'm going to find you someone to love.
02:31No.
02:32I think the darkness was my friend.
02:33No.
02:34It's like point of sale.
02:36It's like how they make 7-Eleven really bright.
02:41You're just going to attract moths.
02:45I just want to dance, okay?
02:47Please just fucking dance.
02:48My mother's going to turn a blind eye.
03:02Oh, yeah.
03:07Yeah, I'll be fine.
03:13Yeah, I'll be fine.
03:14Yeah.
03:18Okay.
03:19Oh, the good Lord knows, yeah.
03:22Oh, yeah.
03:25A little bit behind, I'll be fine.
03:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:29I think I'm going to turn another blind eye.
03:32Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:34The bad, bad, behind, I'll be fine.
03:37Did your sluts leave?
03:53Tom had quite a night.
03:55She kept telling me I was evil.
03:58Over and over and over.
03:59Yeah, I know.
04:00Yeah, I could hear it.
04:02It was terrifying.
04:05Oh, my God.
04:06I'm so sorry.
04:07I promise I didn't do anything bad.
04:09Patrick.
04:10He was hot, yeah?
04:11No.
04:12I couldn't look past the bandana.
04:14It was all right, wasn't it?
04:15It was, like, ironic.
04:17Tom, what could the irony in a bandana be?
04:20That he's wearing it even though he isn't undergoing chemotherapy?
04:24Gara's an idiot.
04:26Well, I like the bandana boy.
04:29OK, I'm going to make some tea.
04:31Do you guys want some tea?
04:32Yes.
04:34I'm going to get back to sleep.
04:36Bye.
04:45I thought you were making tea.
04:46I'm not making tea for just you and me.
04:48That's ridiculous.
04:49Of course.
04:51My Josh is gay, and he says that Oprah isn't good for people
04:54because she keeps telling everybody they can be better.
04:57And they probably can't be better, can they?
04:59And he says that everybody seems to think it's really good
05:01to be aspirational,
05:03but what we need is more people to believe that it's really good
05:05just to be satisfied.
05:07And he thinks that that's what's wrong,
05:08and he blames Oprah for that.
05:10I mean, I don't blame Oprah for that.
05:11I mean, it must be really hard to do what she did
05:14while she was struggling with those weight issues.
05:16I think she probably had a fibra problem.
05:18What?
05:19Why are we talking about Oprah?
05:20I mean, she's finished now, isn't she?
05:21It's all Ellen.
05:22Oh, do you know I can't watch that much dancing?
05:25He loves Ellen.
05:26Loves her.
05:26It's because he's gay.
05:28Do you know what I think what the problem is?
05:30I think everyone is scared of living.
05:33Like, they're scared of their bodies,
05:34and they're scared of what people that they don't care about
05:37might think of them.
05:37And then because they're scared, they consume stuff.
05:39And then because of that, the environment's got no chance.
05:42And then, like, you know, the polar bears.
05:44Those polar bears have got no chance of poor things.
05:46Everyone's just a stupid, whining little bitch.
05:49They're scared that cake will make them fat,
05:50and they're scared of gluten.
05:53Fuck, they're scared of bread and peanuts.
05:57What is that?
05:58Peanuts.
05:59It's ludicrous.
06:00The world's gone completely mad.
06:02And they're scared of sex.
06:03They're scared that people might think they're a slut
06:05or they're going to get gonorrhea.
06:06And they're scared of love because they think,
06:08oh, someone's going to break my heart
06:09or they're going to break somebody else's heart.
06:12Well, that's pretty deep, isn't it?
06:13No, it's just not...
06:14Everyone's terrified all the time.
06:15It's just...
06:16I mean, I'm not terrified.
06:17It's not me.
06:18I'm fine.
06:19Look, I'm really...
06:20In fact, I'm really good.
06:21I'm really good.
06:22It's great to be me.
06:23Warts and farts and oars.
06:25Really satisfying.
06:26It's good to be you too, you know?
06:29Can I get a green tea?
06:31Yeah.
06:32Yeah.
06:33Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys.
06:34Ah, Todd!
06:36Yeah.
06:38Okay.
06:39Good night.
06:40Hey, little lady.
06:41You want to pick her up?
06:42Hey.
06:43Oh, no, no, no.
06:43That's all right.
06:44I'm good.
06:44I'm fine over here.
06:45No, no, no.
06:46Pick her up.
06:47Pick her up.
06:47No, I don't trust myself with her.
06:49I'm scared.
06:50I'll break her.
06:50You can't break them, Josh.
06:52I drop her all the time, Josh.
06:54Go on.
06:55Pick her up.
06:56I'm just intimidated by, like,
06:57a blank, judgmental face.
06:59Oh, rubbish.
07:00She's your sister.
07:01She loves you.
07:02I love you, Josh.
07:04All right.
07:05Here we go.
07:06You ready?
07:06Hey.
07:07Come here.
07:07In the house.
07:08Dang.
07:08Do you have to bring capacity to understand, love?
07:21Oh.
07:21Oh, jeez.
07:22Is that enough?
07:23We done now.
07:24I have to feed her anyway.
07:25What are you going to do there?
07:27I'm going into the restroom, okay?
07:29Yeah.
07:30Do you need a hand?
07:31Exactly.
07:31It's your plan to help me breastfeed, Alan.
07:33Oh.
07:33Oh.
07:33You still at uni?
07:46Yeah.
07:48Why wouldn't I be?
07:49I don't know.
07:50You don't tell me much anymore.
07:51Yeah, that's not...
07:52That's not a new thing.
07:53Josh, um, look, I just wanted to talk today about Grace.
07:58Okay.
08:00Her being here doesn't change anything between us.
08:03Yeah.
08:03Hmm.
08:04Where is this coming from?
08:06It's just that I just want you to know that, you know, we can still hang out.
08:10I'm still available.
08:11I'm still your dad, okay?
08:12Okay.
08:13Yeah.
08:15Hanging out the exact same amount.
08:17All right?
08:17Anytime we're not hanging out, it's not Grace's fault.
08:20I know, but I just don't want you getting jealous.
08:25I can't imagine.
08:27Okay, you obviously don't want to talk about it.
08:28All right, no, it's all right, it's all right, it's all right.
08:30Um, have you found a job?
08:31No.
08:32I'm studying.
08:33You're studying for five years?
08:34Yeah, I changed courses.
08:35I'm not even sure what a degree in creative industries actually qualifies you for.
08:39But which creative industry?
08:41Film, design, dance?
08:43All of them.
08:43Any of them, you know?
08:45It's a multi-skill course.
08:46I've never seen you dance.
08:47Well, that's a shame because I'm very graceful.
08:52I'm a beautiful dancer.
08:55Have you been seeing your mum?
08:56Yeah, heaps.
08:57How is she?
08:58Good, yeah.
08:59I mean, you know.
09:02She doesn't have any friends or hobbies or purpose, but other than that, you know, she's good.
09:07Why aren't you more involved with your sister?
09:09Oh, wow.
09:10I mean, you really have, like, quite a list of things.
09:12Come on, to talk about today.
09:14Get involved.
09:14Get involved.
09:14I don't know how to interact with her at the moment, all right?
09:16I can't involve when she has more to offer.
09:19Really?
09:19When will that be?
09:20When she's 16 and she needs someone to buy her alcohol, I guess.
09:27And some vodka.
09:31I'm going to babysit.
09:32I'm going to what now?
09:33Babysit.
09:34Oh, no.
09:35I mean, that's a bad idea, isn't it?
09:37No, it's a good idea.
09:37No, I don't have the skills.
09:38It'll be good for you.
09:39You need some responsibility.
09:40Shit for grace, though.
09:41Is that a problem?
09:42No?
09:43You're drawing it.
09:44What's doing it?
09:45I don't need any baby responsibility.
09:47That's not my choice.
09:49That's your choice.
09:50I'm trying to have my choice.
09:51What's the choice?
09:56So, are you going to babysit?
09:58You need a night out, George, please?
09:59Yeah, of course.
10:00I mean, anything for you, mate.
10:02Do walk, do walk.
10:03I don't think I've ever been in a room with a baby and no adults before.
10:11Oh, she's so cute.
10:13Is she?
10:14I just can't get my head around the fact that I could make a child.
10:18Yeah.
10:19Every time I look at my sperm, it doesn't seem that magical.
10:23Do you know what I mean?
10:24It never looks that impressive.
10:26I think it best might have made, like, a Tamagotchi.
10:29I can't wait to be a dad.
10:30I just don't think I love her as much as I'm meant to love her.
10:35She's your sister.
10:37Hmm.
10:38She doesn't look like my sister.
10:43Hi, guys!
10:45Hey!
10:46Hey!
10:49Oh!
10:51Josh, is that your sister?
10:53Kind of.
10:53Oh, my God.
10:55Oh, she's so cute.
10:57I want one.
10:58Don't you guys just want one?
11:00No.
11:00Oh, she's cute.
11:01Yeah, yeah, you do.
11:03You said, I want to be a dad.
11:05She's so cute.
11:07She's so cute.
11:10Okay, we're going to go to my room.
11:11Oh, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
11:12I've got a surprise saying.
11:16I'll be one moment.
11:19Baby.
11:20We're just friends.
11:30I told her I don't want a girlfriend.
11:32Oh, God, no.
11:33We know this is awful.
11:35I told her.
11:35It's her choice.
11:36No.
11:37You know she's in love with you and that her, like, love feelings stop her from making reasonable choices.
11:43Yeah, like, every time you finish having sex with her, she definitely just feels sad.
11:47Are you okay with that?
11:49That your sex makes her feel sad?
11:51Sex is meant to make people feel, like, quite nice.
11:54I'm not responsible for her decisions.
11:59If Clyde broken up with you would have agreed to anything to have sex with her again.
12:02One last time.
12:03Can we not talk about Claire breaking up with Tom again, please?
12:06No one broke up with anyone.
12:07She just got a job in Germany, okay?
12:09Okay.
12:11Niamh's fine.
12:11Trust me, I know her.
12:13She's just so grim.
12:18That's grim.
12:19I'd like to see the wine list.
12:21Are we drinking?
12:22Yes.
12:23Champagne.
12:26Lottes or champagne?
12:27Do we need lots, Ma?
12:28I didn't spend all day on the breast pump so we can come out and not get drunk.
12:32I know.
12:32What if there's a problem with Josh and Grace?
12:34Maybe I should stay sober.
12:35I am going to order a bottle of champagne.
12:38Josh is not an idiot and I have not been able to fit into this dress for almost a year.
12:44Well argued.
12:46Cheapest bottle of champagne.
12:48And we're going to need some oysters.
12:53Are you ready?
12:54Yeah.
12:55Okay.
12:58Oh my god.
13:01You built a fort.
13:04Do you like it?
13:06It's amazing.
13:08Go in.
13:08Go in.
13:09Go in.
13:09How was work?
13:27It was good.
13:27Yeah.
13:36Did you know that if a cat has a deformed baby then the mum eats the baby?
13:40Isn't that crazy?
13:41I still don't know why people let cats into the house.
13:43Fucking crazy, man.
13:45That is fucking crazy.
13:46Could you just move just a little bit more outside the door?
13:49There's no smoke getting in.
13:50Smoking in front of the baby seems very crass though, doesn't it?
13:54Don't throw it on the ground.
13:55That's illegal drugs.
13:57I think I might invite this boy over.
13:59Oh.
14:00Good for you, yeah.
14:02Another win.
14:03What?
14:14What's wrong?
14:15I'm scared we're going to get stuff on Josh's cushions.
14:19Well, just throw them out.
14:22Yeah.
14:23That one.
14:31Come on.
14:33What?
14:41What's wrong?
14:42Just...
14:42You're hurting my knees.
14:46Right.
14:50Could you just go on the bed?
14:52Yeah.
14:53Yeah, we can.
14:53Is that alright?
14:54Yeah, it's fine.
14:55You sure?
14:56Yeah, just...
14:57It's fine.
14:57Go.
14:58Go.
15:03Josh.
15:05Josh.
15:06Hey.
15:07Is that a portrait of your dog?
15:09Yeah.
15:10Is it true?
15:11Those dogs at the airport are addicted to drugs and always looking for the next hit?
15:15Yes.
15:16Yeah.
15:17They're addicted to drugs.
15:19To all of the drugs.
15:20Also, exotic fruit.
15:22Come on.
15:23Come on.
15:24Okay.
15:25Just can't get enough persimmon.
15:28See ya.
15:29Cool, baby.
15:30Thank you.
15:33Mango.
15:36Passion fruit.
15:38Meth.
15:41Kumquats.
15:41Cheers.
15:42Cheers.
15:42Cheers.
15:51Happy birthday to you.
15:54Happy birthday to you.
15:57Happy birthday, dear.
16:02Happy birthday to you.
16:06Thank you.
16:07Thank you.
16:08올해 todo.
16:11Oi.
16:11Hoi.
16:27Hoi.
16:37Hoi.
16:38Hoi.
16:38Hoi.
16:38Hoi.
16:38Hoi.
16:38oh no
16:41oh gracie
16:48oh let me tell you look
16:50I knew didn't I
16:51I knew
16:53what are we gonna do
16:55what are we gonna do
17:08is it weird for you
17:21having to see your brother naked
17:22you must get pretty sick of people doing weird stuff
17:26in front of you all the time
17:27just cause they think you won't remember
17:29I mean
17:29you must remember right
17:31otherwise you wouldn't ever learn anything
17:33okay
17:36here's the plan
17:37I'm gonna try not to look grossed out
17:39while I take your pants off
17:40okay
17:41because
17:41that feels like the beginning of you having body issues right
17:43if
17:44everyone for the past two years of your life
17:46looks disgusted
17:47every time they take your pants off
17:49I mean that's
17:49pretty fucked
17:50right
17:51oh yeah
17:53that is disgusting isn't it
17:59that is awful
18:00that is
18:01hey
18:02but that's alright
18:03I'm disgusting too
18:04you know
18:04we're all
18:05we're all disgusting
18:06everybody
18:07oops
18:08hey
18:08what a good little girl
18:10such a good life lesson
18:12yeah
18:13that's the one
18:14that's disgusting
18:14I'm getting a towel
18:26such a gentleman
18:30it's a bit damp but it's okay
18:37thanks
18:39did you know that if a cat's mum
18:58has a deformed baby
19:00it would just eat that baby
19:02I definitely would have been eaten if I was a cat
19:04I threw up non-stop for four weeks when I was a baby
19:06how romantic
19:07how romantic
19:08hey
19:17hmm
19:18you're alright with us having sex yeah
19:22well yeah it's fun
19:25well you know I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment
19:30I'm just
19:33I'm just not really ready for it after Claire
19:35yeah
19:36yeah I know Tom
19:37it's
19:37it's fine
19:38okay
19:39okay
19:39good
19:42hey
19:46oh
19:47whatever I said
19:50whatever I did
19:52I don't know
19:54I just want you back for good
19:56I want you back
19:57I want you back
19:58I want you back for good
20:01whatever I'm wrong
20:03just give me the song
20:04and I'm saying
20:05and I'll be right and understood
20:08I want you back
20:10I want you back for good
20:13is that your baby?
20:19no it's my sister
20:21oh my god
20:22Patrick
20:23when we're in the shower
20:23she sucked my nipple
20:24I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm her mum
20:26that's fucking awesome
20:28pretty good
20:28that's gross
20:29you want me to shower?
20:32oh yeah
20:32there's no hot water
20:33wow this is adorable
20:35oh thank god
20:39hey guys
20:41oh my love
20:43I told you
20:45you could look after her
20:47you are not a repart
20:48George
20:49that's not all I drew around
20:51say
20:51is everything okay?
20:52yeah fine
20:53I didn't know what to do
20:54when she pooped
20:55so we had a shower
20:55Google said it was fine
20:57okay
20:57I dress her for you
20:59okay
20:59you have made me
21:05so proud tonight
21:06so so so proud
21:08okay thanks
21:09okay
21:10oh you're having a potty
21:13no it's not a potty
21:14it's just two guests at the same time
21:16it's not a potty
21:17it smells like marijuana
21:17no it doesn't
21:18you don't know what marijuana smells like?
21:20hi Ellen
21:20your daughter is so beautiful
21:22I mean she looks like a judge
21:24don't you think?
21:24oh
21:25oh mum
21:30hi
21:30yep
21:31wow
21:33can you believe how hot I look?
21:36wow your hair
21:37and this puppy doesn't look like
21:38oh yeah yeah
21:38I've called him velvet
21:39because he's so soft
21:40you know touch him
21:41touch him
21:41oh hey buddy
21:42now Josh
21:43I've had a makeover
21:44and it's just new beginnings
21:46it's just new beginnings
21:47my daughter maya here
21:49oh German
21:50oh German
21:51oh
21:52okay
21:52oh
21:53okay
21:53I am in love with you
21:56hi everybody
21:57hi
21:58oh German
21:58hello
21:59oh hi
22:00love what a puppy
22:01huh
22:02oh I have got to go to the loo
22:04I'm going to piss my pants
22:05can I touch it
22:06I want to touch it
22:07oh
22:07let's get over here
22:09oh
22:10is she okay
22:10yeah she's fine
22:11let's just take Grace and go
22:12what do you think she's going to do with Grace?
22:14I don't know
22:14no, no, no
22:44oh yeah, no, I got it
22:46I got it, I got it
22:47okay guys, I think maybe it's time for everyone to go
22:49me and mum are going to hang out
22:50maybe we're going to wrap this up
22:52no, why are you just
22:54what sort of party were you having
22:56no, it's not a party, it's just two guests
22:58at the same time, some of the guests in towels
23:00and you're bristly because Patrick's got a boy here
23:02no, and because you're really in love with Patrick
23:04no, I'm not in love with you
23:06oh, Gracie
23:08oh, Gracie, you cute little dim sum
23:11jump, jump, jump
23:12okay, okay
23:14actually, actually, Rose, we were just leaving
23:16no, no, no, no, no, no, I have got something
23:18to say, I have had
23:20a breakthrough
23:21oh, Niamh, are you still in this
23:24group
23:24I like your hair, right
23:28oh, but your opinion doesn't really mean that much
23:30to me, but are you still going out
23:32well, sorry, not really
23:34oh, Niamh, I have to say, I admire your perseverance
23:36Rose
23:37what did you want to tell us
23:40oh, yes, look, um
23:42look, the other day
23:44I saw a dog get run over
23:46and the weight of the tyres made his head pop
23:48like, I saw that, I saw the head pop
23:50like that, and everyone was crying
23:52and I knew it was sad, but I couldn't do anything
23:54because of the drugs I'm on
23:56making me not feel anything at all
23:58and, I mean, of course, I knew it was sad
24:00but I couldn't feel anything, and that's not right, is it, Jesse?
24:02no
24:03so
24:06I have quit the drugs
24:08and I feel better than ever
24:10like, it's just
24:11I mean, look, can you see how hot I look?
24:13my God
24:14so I just wanted to come round and tell everybody
24:16oh, Gracie, I'm sorry
24:18I just want to tell you all that
24:20you don't have to worry about me anymore
24:22it's all going to be okay
24:24oh
24:27okay
24:28oh
24:29my God
24:30oh
24:31oh
24:32oh
24:33oh
24:34oh
24:35oh
24:36oh
24:37oh
24:38oh
24:39oh
24:40oh
24:41oh
24:42oh
24:47oh
24:48oh
24:51dog
24:53Grazie a tutti.
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