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00:00Why can't I ever just let myself properly enjoy things, why can't I ever just be in
00:08the moment, you know?
00:09I know today is brilliant, it's sunny, we're in the first world, we just ordered a $19
00:15sundae, you know, delicious, but all I can think about is my rubbish face.
00:19I'm obsessing, I mean, it's just I'm turning 21 soon and this is as good as my face is
00:24ever going to get.
00:26This is it.
00:27It's all downhill from here, let's hope your puberty would do a better job, but no, puberty
00:33did a good job with you, you used to be really awkward to look at.
00:38Incredible, Claire, don't you think this is incredible, what an incredible sundae?
00:44Isn't it just mind blowing, do you think we actually get to eat this?
00:47Josh, I want to talk to you about something.
00:50Oh, no, no, no you don't.
00:54I think we should break up.
00:56Oh.
00:57Oh, that's bad.
01:02I just, I kind of feel like we've drifted, you know?
01:06This isn't good at all.
01:08Also, you're gay.
01:09What?
01:10No.
01:11No, no, I'm not.
01:13Josh, you're probably gay.
01:14I'm not.
01:15I mean, we could still be friends, if you like.
01:15Wouldn't be really that different, would it?
01:17This $19 sundae is suddenly pretty fucking humiliating.
01:24One.
01:25One.
01:26One.
01:27Two.
01:28One.
01:29One.
01:30One.
01:31One.
01:32One.
01:33One.
01:34One.
01:35One.
01:36One.
01:37One.
01:38One.
01:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:09Tom.
02:11Hey.
02:12Workplace sexual harassment.
02:13Here we go.
02:15Workplace sexual harassment.
02:17You don't work here.
02:19This isn't workplace sexual harassment.
02:21This is normal sexual harassment.
02:23What are you doing?
02:24I'm on my break.
02:25Tom, are you Googling giraffes again?
02:27Why are you always Googling giraffes?
02:30I'm not always Googling giraffes.
02:31Just last time you came in, I was Googling giraffes,
02:33and I happen to be Googling giraffes again today.
02:35I just hate that you think you have some sort of special affinity with giraffes.
02:39I don't.
02:40I imagine it's because you think that you kind of look like one,
02:45but less graceful.
02:47Giraffes aren't graceful.
02:48I think they're surprisingly graceful.
02:49No, they're not.
02:50Have you ever seen one pick something off the floor?
02:52I guess you would know with all your special research.
02:56Claire said she broke up with you.
02:57Yeah.
02:59Yeah.
02:59Yeah.
03:00Yeah.
03:00Yeah.
03:00Also, I cut myself shaving, and you weren't shut up about giraffes.
03:05So that's three pieces of bad news in one day.
03:08I've decided I am going to break up with Niamh.
03:12Why'd he do this to me?
03:13Tom, we both know you're not going to.
03:15I just don't know why you lie to me.
03:16Get my little hopes up.
03:17Whenever I try, something gets in the way.
03:19I don't think it does.
03:20I think you just put things in the way because you're scared of her.
03:22You're scared of what she'll do.
03:23Last time I was about to, and a turtle died.
03:25Of course, Yon's a fucking turtle.
03:27Owned.
03:29Hi.
03:31Josh, this is Jeffrey.
03:33Jeffrey just started.
03:35I think you might be in my chair.
03:36Oh, shit.
03:37Sorry.
03:49Are you okay?
03:53Yeah, sorry.
03:55I didn't want to.
03:56No, I don't want to put this on you, man.
04:01It's new.
04:02I have to get it.
04:04Sorry.
04:06Hey, sweetheart.
04:09What?
04:11They kicked you out?
04:12What did you do?
04:15My dad got arrested again.
04:18Oh.
04:21Oh, no.
04:23Should I ask you what for, or should we, should we, we should not mention it?
04:27Not mention it?
04:28That does sound pretty racist.
04:34I just didn't even talk to.
04:41Tom keeps lollies in here.
04:42Do you like lollies?
04:43It's kind of, honestly, it's the best I've got to offer.
04:45Uh, pop rocks?
04:48I love pop rocks.
04:49Yeah?
04:52No, you can't.
04:54Josh just broke up with Claire.
04:56He's all upset.
04:58He's a mess.
05:00No.
05:02Fine.
05:03I need to get me out of the dinner.
05:10What?
05:11No, Tom, you said you were going to break up with her.
05:12They kicked her out of her poetry group.
05:15She's not kicked out of her poetry group.
05:16She's upset.
05:18Tom, no, that's no excuse.
05:20You have to do this.
05:20You can do this.
05:21Come on.
05:21Okay, I'll break up with her tonight.
05:25Are you eating my pop rocks?
05:27No.
05:27Can I come to dinner?
05:36Do you know what I think about a lot?
05:38What?
05:39The time when you were telling me when you were a kid
05:41and you were naked in the back out of your friend's house
05:44and his mum told you that if you do that,
05:46then a magpie might mistake your penis for a worm and eat it.
05:50You think about that a lot?
05:52You just...
05:53I just think it's a funny image.
05:55A tiny version of you terrified that a magpie might swoop down
06:03and eat your penis.
06:05Nobody...
06:05I've had a pet magpie for a while.
06:08I used to come to the back door every morning.
06:10We'd give him our left service.
06:12Did it ever try and eat your penis?
06:15No.
06:20Hey.
06:22Hey, guys.
06:23Hi, Niamh.
06:24This is Jeffrey.
06:25Hey.
06:26Hi, please.
06:34Josh, Tom told me about how Claire broke up with you.
06:37Yes.
06:38What happened?
06:39Um, she said we drifted.
06:42Oh, that's disappointing.
06:44You know, I really liked Claire.
06:45Really?
06:46You never...
06:47How'd you let it drift?
06:48Well, I don't know, Niamh.
06:50You see, that's the nature of drifting, is that it happens slowly, over time, and then one
06:55day you order a $19 sundae and it's finished.
06:58Right.
06:59How did you get kicked out of your poetry group?
07:02You think this is funny, don't you?
07:03No.
07:04It's just Claire's probably at home crying and you're here having a dinner party.
07:07Niamh, I don't think she's crying, okay?
07:09She broke up with me.
07:11It was a surprise.
07:12I didn't know.
07:13If I'd known, maybe I would have planned a more mournful evening.
07:16I'm sorry.
07:17Well, isn't that just charming?
07:19Niamh, can you just...
07:20Oh, I'm sorry, Tom, am I embarrassing you?
07:23Again?
07:24Maybe we could sort this out with indoor voices.
07:27What the fuck?
07:28I don't even know who the fuck you are.
07:30I'm Geoffrey, Tom's friend.
07:34I'm so nice to you guys and you're all just such fucking bitches to me.
07:38Oh, God.
07:39Can we just take this into another room?
07:41Right.
07:42Okay.
07:50I just can't imagine that they're having that much fun, you know?
08:15So, what do you do?
08:22Um, I'm setting a Bachelor of Creative Industries.
08:27Really?
08:28Yeah.
08:29That's really interesting.
08:30No.
08:31No.
08:38I'm gay.
08:42Oh, cool.
08:45Yeah, I, um, I haven't told Tom.
08:50Oh.
08:51Why?
08:52Why is that?
08:53I just, I didn't want him thinking I'm sitting on him.
08:59I don't think anybody thinks that anyone is sitting on Tom.
09:04Do you want me to go to Tom?
09:15Do you want me to go to Tom?
09:16Do you want me to go to Tom?
09:22I don't really have anywhere.
09:23Oh, he's got a pretty big bed, I could just crush that.
09:53Oh, he's got a pretty big bed.
10:23Oh, he's got a pretty big bed.
10:53Oh, he's got a pretty big bed.
11:23Oh, he's got a pretty big bed.
11:53Oh, he's got a pretty big bed.
12:23Oh, he's got a pretty big bed.
12:25Oh, do you, do you test blood?
12:28What?
12:30Oh, the little mould on your lip is bleeding.
12:34I cut myself shaving.
13:04What are we meant to do now?
13:07I don't know.
13:09Do we just wait for me to stop bleeding?
13:14I might go to sleep. We'll try again in the morning.
13:19Okay.
13:28Do you prefer big spoon or little spoon?
13:31I don't know.
13:34I don't really get the big spoon, little spoon thing.
13:41Surely they'd be the same size spoons.
13:44Different size spoons don't fit together like this.
14:04I don't know.
14:05I don't know.
14:44Josh, it's your dad. Don't worry, mate. Mum's OK. She's OK. She's been moved to a ward. Are you awake?
14:57Received at 10.15am.
15:01Josh, it's your dad. Mate, where are you? Call me back.
15:09Received at 9am.
15:12Hey, Josh. Your dad called and he told me what happened. I just hope that you're OK and if you need anything, please just let me know.
15:24Received at 8.40am.
15:29Fuck, Josh. Fuck. Mum. Fuck. Fuck. Call me.
15:33Josh, Jeffrey's in your room. You've been wearing a shirt.
15:41Josh.
15:44Bobby, I need some help.
15:45Tom, I think I need you to drive me to the hospital.
15:47What?
15:48I need you to drive me to the hospital.
15:49Which hospital?
15:50I don't know. Just get in the car.
15:51What the hell happened last night?
15:53You've never left this much time between something happening and you telling me.
16:03My mum took quite a bit of vanadol and drunk half a bottle of Bailey's.
16:10Bailey's?
16:11Yeah.
16:12How do you even drink half a bottle of Bailey's?
16:15I just don't know. Guess what else?
16:21You made out with Jeffrey.
16:23I can never really trust when someone that good looking is into me. Do you know what I mean? I just don't get it.
16:29Like, isn't that mediocre looking I can sort of appreciate why their standards are so low.
16:35When they're that pretty, I'm just like, oh, what are you hiding? You know?
16:40Well, Claire was quite good looking.
16:43I really don't think she was, like, good looking when we got together.
16:46Puberty did well with her.
16:49Just so I know, we're not talking about your mum because you're all, like, emotionally stunted, yeah?
16:56Yeah.
16:57And we're just ignoring the fact that Jeffrey's a man?
17:00Yes.
17:01When he kissed me, my lips started bleeding because I cut myself shaving and then I bled actual blood into his actual mouth.
17:07It's the third worst thing that's ever happened to me during sex.
17:11You had actual sex?
17:12No. And my lip was bleeding.
17:16Are you sure you don't have feelings you want to share with me in some kind of talk?
17:21Yeah.
17:22It can be good to share your feelings.
17:25Nope.
17:26No.
17:29Nah.
17:36Excuse me.
17:37Josh.
17:42Hi, Dad.
17:43Hey, Alan.
17:45Just going to go and sit.
17:47Shh.
17:51You know what happened?
17:52Yeah.
17:53That mum took a box of Pernadol?
17:55Yeah, you told me on the phone.
17:56And drank half a bottle of Baileys?
17:57Yes, Dad.
17:58I know what happened.
17:59Did you get a pug, OK?
18:00Yes.
18:01I think mum tried to kill herself.
18:08You think?
18:09Why would you want to do that?
18:11I don't know.
18:12It's probably not my fault.
18:16Look, it might be your fault, but I doubt it's your fault.
18:20Did you tell her that I have a girlfriend?
18:23I've been divorced for a while.
18:24I don't think it really matters.
18:25No.
18:25But, no.
18:27I didn't.
18:28Oh, um, well, I couldn't get on to you.
18:36I called Claire.
18:37Oh, why?
18:39What?
18:40Oh, something.
18:41It was just, uh, we broke up yesterday.
18:43Oh, sorry, man.
18:45I didn't know.
18:46No, it's fine.
18:46Why'd she break up with you?
18:49I don't know.
18:51She just wasn't happy with you?
18:53I guess not.
18:54Oh.
18:56Mum doesn't know I'm here.
18:58OK.
18:59Do you think she'd be uncomfortable if she knew I was here?
19:02Yeah.
19:03Yes.
19:04Yes, I do.
19:16Hi.
19:28How's it going?
19:31Hi, loving.
19:37How's Claire?
19:40Oh, yeah.
19:42She's all right.
19:46I'm sorry, lovey.
20:04Hello.
20:08Rose, is it?
20:09Mm-hmm.
20:10Just had a few questions.
20:12You still vomiting?
20:13Yeah, a little.
20:15Any headache at all?
20:16A headache.
20:18She took quite a bit of Panadol.
20:22No headache?
20:23I've still got a little bit of a headache.
20:25If you get a headache in the next few weeks,
20:27I really think you should be calling the customer complaint line.
20:31Sorry, I just have to get through these questions
20:33so that I can move on to the other patients.
20:35OK.
20:35Do you think you could step outside for a moment?
20:38What?
20:38No.
20:40This is my mum.
20:41OK, well, can you just shush?
20:44Yeah.
20:45I can shush.
20:46Perhaps you could pop out and get your mum a Turkish delight, Josh.
20:52All right.
20:58Hi.
20:59Claire.
21:00Hi.
21:01Sorry about you, Mum.
21:08Oh.
21:09Oh, yeah.
21:10Yeah.
21:11Yeah.
21:13Well, um, are you OK?
21:14You dumped me yesterday, yeah?
21:15Yeah.
21:16Yeah, sure.
21:18You dumped me yesterday, yeah?
21:20Yeah.
21:21OK.
21:22I just, I just, I thought that meant that I wouldn't be seeing you so much.
21:26Do you know what I mean?
21:26That I, I can see you.
21:30Yeah, but, uh, we said that we were going to be friends, so I'm just here trying to be friendly.
21:35That's all.
21:35OK.
21:36I just, I just thought maybe you were just, like, saying it, that to sort of soften the blow.
21:43So you're saying you don't want to be friends?
21:45Yeah, I want to, I want to, I just, there's another thing also, um, to that, I made out with a boy.
21:53I know.
21:54Male boy.
21:55I know, yeah.
21:55OK.
21:56I don't understand, dude.
21:58Why would you do it on the same day that we break up?
22:00I didn't mean to, I promise.
22:01Honestly, he just, he was just there.
22:04Do you know what I mean?
22:07There.
22:08Yeah, he was, he was really very there.
22:14Is, is that what you think of me?
22:17That was just...
22:18No, come on, you're being silly.
22:20I mean, obviously you were there.
22:21You know, that's good, that's helpful for you to be there.
22:24It's completely necessary even, but I, I mean, just, anyway, I, I don't know.
22:31I feel like you didn't even really enjoy having sex with me.
22:34Oh, come on, no.
22:36Well, did you?
22:38I guess.
22:41Yeah, yes.
22:42Yes.
22:43I mean, yes, the answer is.
22:43Then you didn't.
22:44Yes, to the question.
22:46Yes.
22:47Mm-mm.
22:49Sex with Claire.
22:50You're so frustrating.
22:51I don't know why you wouldn't just tell me.
22:55My mom attempted suicide today, so I have a pretty good excuse to go out of this conversation.
22:59By the way, I just want you to know that.
23:01I understand Rose lives alone.
23:08In a situation like this, we can't release the patient unless she has people around to keep an eye on her.
23:13Well, I, I, I can't move back in with her, can I?
23:18We're divorced.
23:19I don't know your personal situation, but no, that doesn't sound ideal.
23:23Does this mean that I'm going to have to move back in with her?
23:26Well, no.
23:27In a circumstance like this, we would advise that she is transferred to a private facility.
23:32A mental home?
23:33We don't call it that.
23:35But, like, that's what it is.
23:37Well, we don't call it that.
23:40Any pig could move in with her.
23:41Well, I don't think Mom actually likes her.
23:45Well, why did she have to be so stupid?
23:48I can't be her carer.
23:51I don't know how to do caring.
23:53I don't even know how to care for myself.
23:55I never floss.
24:05Sorry this took so long.
24:08Thanks, lovey.
24:11So, what have you guys decided to do with me?
24:18Um, we haven't decided that the doctor thinks we should put you in a mental home.
24:28What, you think?
24:31Am I mental?
24:34I don't know.
24:38So, what are the other options?
24:40Well, someone needs to live with you, so that could be me, I guess, or Aunty Pegg.
24:47Ah, no.
24:48No.
24:50Don't make me move back in with her.
24:52I couldn't bear it.
24:53Okay.
24:53And you shouldn't have to live with me either, Josh.
24:57I shouldn't be your problem.
25:00Well, I mean, I haven't decided.
25:03I'm not sure I could move out on Tom.
25:05No, but you see, you could do all the same sorts of things at my place as you do at Tom's.
25:09It's okay, I'm cool with that.
25:11Mom, you don't have to.
25:12I haven't decided, I'll think about it.
25:14But you see, you could bring Claire home to sleep over if you want.
25:17What?
25:18I'm cool, okay?
25:19Like, you can have sex in the house if you want.
25:22Oh, fuck, man.
25:23Oh, please don't swear, Josh.
25:26Also, Claire and I broke up.
25:30What?
25:33Who broke up with who?
25:35She broke up with me.
25:38Oh, well, look, even if you want casual girls.
25:41Oh, nice.
25:41I'm not having sex in the house.
25:42I'm just saying you can if you want.
25:44Well, I don't want to.
25:45Especially if I don't want to with your commission.
25:47No, I am just saying, okay?
25:49Well, don't.
25:53Okay.
25:54I won't.
26:03What did I do with a parking ticket?
26:06Bye.
26:07How long have you been in the car?
26:09Your father told me to wait here for a moment.
26:12That was six hours ago.
26:14What are you talking about?
26:16I left you the keys and I brought you a drink.
26:20Like a dog.
26:22Josh, I'm sorry to hear about your mother.
26:25Oh, yeah.
26:26Thanks, me.
26:27Hey, have you got the parking ticket?
26:28No, you took it.
26:31Your father thinks it is his fault because of the divorce.
26:34Well, clearly it is.
26:36Oh, yes, of course it is.
26:38If you break up with someone, what is the point for them in living?
26:42They may as well end it.
26:43They have experienced perfect love and they will never find happiness again, so they may
26:48as well end it because you are so perfect.
26:50It's not like that.
26:52Alan, I promise you, no one is attempting suicide because of fat men like you, dumb death.
26:59Yes, well...
26:59She has a mental disorder.
27:01Yes, I understand that, May, but I do think...
27:04Dad, I think she's right.
27:05I don't know if you've seen your face lately.
27:06It's like us grown-up.
27:08No.
27:36I don't know.
28:06Hey, Shaniqua.
28:20Hey, Shaniqua.
28:24How's it going?
28:26Oh, yeah.
28:27Big day.
28:28I have had a big day.
28:31Hi.
28:34Oh.
28:36You're back.
28:38He never left.
28:40Yeah, I wanted to help out, so I cleaned the house and I made dinner.
28:44You made spaghetti.
28:45You love spaghetti.
28:47I really do love spaghetti.
28:49Anyway, I'd best be off.
28:51Oh, you're not...
28:52You're not going to stay and eat spaghetti?
28:54No, I promised my dad I'd visit him, so...
28:57Oh.
28:58Hey.
28:59Thanks for all the...
29:02stuff.
29:03Why doesn't Nene ever do that?
29:07What?
29:08Make you dinner and then not make you talk to her while you eat it?
29:13Yeah.
29:14You could just break up with her and then go to a restaurant.
29:21How's your mum?
29:22Oh, yeah.
29:23It's um...
29:24I just...
29:25I just really think I have to move back in with her.
29:28Wow.
29:29That is very nice of you.
29:31Yeah.
29:32I'm a modern day hero.
29:33Hero is a strong word.
29:35Nope.
29:36I'm almost definitely going to be young Australian of the year for this.
29:38More like young dickface of the year.
29:41Brilliant.
29:42That's clever.
29:43That's really good.
29:57I read you a poem, Shaniqua.
30:00Shit, dog.
30:01Oh, that sounds gay.
30:02I know a sassy urban girl.
30:04Her fur is dark as night.
30:06But like the moon in the darkest woods, her spirit is my light.
30:10Oh, you sure do know how to make a girl feel special.
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