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00:00Thank you!
00:30Compulsion
00:32Have you heard the word compulsion?
00:34You've probably heard it
00:36And it's also a word that's not easily understood.
00:39It is poorly understood in its true reality
00:42I'm going to give you a very basic definition
00:45But it's very powerful and clarifies a lot about what a compulsion is.
00:48A compulsion is that force
00:51Most of the time incomprehensible
00:53That is to say, we can't understand it properly
00:55What motivates us to do something repeatedly?
00:58Repetitive, vehement, and generally unconscious
01:02Repetitive, vehement, that is, I keep doing it, I keep doing it, I keep doing it
01:06And unconscious, it stays there
01:09I don't realize I'm doing it
01:11There are people who scratch themselves
01:12And he has this compulsion to scratch himself
01:15He doesn't have an itch, but he scratches his head
01:18And there are people who have head injuries because they scratch their heads.
01:21And these are symptoms of, it could be anxiety or everything.
01:25But overall it's a compulsion
01:28Where do compulsions come from?
01:30This is what's interesting.
01:31We all have compulsions
01:33Some smaller, some larger
01:36The key is to detect where the compulsions originate.
01:39They always stem from an unmet need.
01:43It's something that's happening inside me
01:45And I don't realize it
01:46It's something that the environment might stimulate.
01:50And it reminds me that I have a need.
01:52Which I am not aware of
01:54I'm not attending to that.
01:56That need is generally not visible to me.
01:59And that makes it a compulsion for me.
02:04I can't seem to grasp that need
02:07Like that girl, for example
02:09Imagine this example
02:11A girl who always looks for much older people
02:15To have a relationship
02:16A relationship with them
02:18He's always searching, I don't know.
02:19She's 20 years old and is looking for people in their 40s.
02:22As the song says, 40 and 20
02:26And she always jumps from one relationship to another
02:29And it always coincides that they are older people
02:32And he says, oh, it's just that he likes very mature people and all that
02:35But in reality, many times that's not the case.
02:38Rather, he is unaware
02:39That compulsion
02:41Looking for older people
02:43It stems from the absence of a father figure.
02:45And that's actually what he's looking for
02:47The latent need that exists there
02:50Although he is unconscious
02:51But he remains vehement
02:52It's the need for a dad
02:55And so I'm looking for someone
02:57That works for me as a dad
02:58Not to mention
02:58Men with women
03:00They're looking for a way to make this happen
03:02And the parents who place all their hopes in their children
03:06And often these compulsions too
03:09Working and working and working
03:11Others in taking and taking and taking
03:13There are many compulsions
03:14When a compulsion grows
03:17It gets strong
03:19He becomes vehement
03:20And also the most crucial thing of all
03:23The stronger it is
03:24It generally becomes more unacceptable
03:27That means, much more I deny it
03:29No, no, that's not it.
03:30That's not it, I've already thought about it.
03:32And no, no, it's not like that.
03:33You just don't understand me.
03:34You just don't know
03:35The truth is, it's quite a topic.
03:38And to point out a person's compulsions
03:41It's usually very complicated
03:42Because the person tends to become defensive.
03:45How do these compulsions manifest themselves?
03:49Well, many times
03:49It shows in the desperation.
03:53Looking for someone who apparently
03:55Or something that seemingly fulfills that need
03:58That's how we gradually realize it.
03:59This is how relationships are established.
04:02Of apparent friendship
04:03Which are actually very toxic relationships
04:05What are you saying? There's no friendship here.
04:07There is no camaraderie here
04:08There is no complicity
04:09There is nothing.
04:10It's a completely toxic thing.
04:12But I'm still looking for it
04:13And I keep finding nothing but negative things
04:16A lady said
04:17Listen, I don't know what to do
04:20Because my husband is a drunk.
04:22He told me straight up.
04:24And it says
04:25And that's wrong.
04:27And I say to him, well
04:27And what made you notice him?
04:30Or what does it say?
04:31It's not
04:31I'm just really unlucky.
04:32Well, he's my fifth husband
04:33And all five of them turned out to be drunk.
04:35Then you say
04:36Hey, could it be that you made a mistake?
04:39Could it be that they are not the spouses?
04:41And that you are actually creating a compulsion
04:44That's what's attracting that to you
04:46Or where are you looking?
04:48And no, no, it's not me.
04:51It's them
04:51They are the drunks
04:52And I am very healthy.
04:53The woman said
04:54You find a husband
04:56Or a wife
04:57That he tries to fulfill that need
04:59Or you can get any kind of relationship
05:02Instead of building
05:03Your inner strength is dwindling
05:06That's what it's all about
05:07Instead of addressing the internal need
05:09I need her more and more and more and more
05:11Because I feel like you're solving it.
05:13But you're not solving it
05:14Actually
05:15This compulsion is only growing
05:18Our compulsion
05:20He also usually does
05:22That we become very demanding
05:24That we expect too much from others
05:26This is very, very obvious
05:29We are believing
05:29That people do everything wrong
05:31This guy is really stupid
05:32He doesn't understand anything.
05:34He doesn't understand me.
05:36And often it's us.
05:38Those of us who are putting them
05:39A very heavy burden for this person.
05:42But we find it very difficult to admit it.
05:44Another way
05:44It's about becoming absorbing
05:46And possessive with others
05:48That?
05:49You went out with the other person
05:50Yes, he's a friend of mine too.
05:52And I'm not your friend?
05:54Hey, I can have several friends
05:56TRUE?
05:56In other words, it's not like that.
05:57But we become obsessive
05:58Possessives
06:00Absorbents with people
06:02What are you thinking?
06:04Okay, lend me your cell phone
06:05Let's see if it's true
06:05It's incredible.
06:07Another compulsion
06:08What are they?
06:09Sometimes
06:09Sometimes you don't have one
06:10Sometimes you have several of these
06:12Another way is through rage.
06:14I feel anger towards everyone.
06:15And they laugh
06:16And I feel
06:16I feel anger
06:18From the joy of others
06:19Sometimes even violence
06:21When I see that everything is very quiet
06:23Hey!
06:23What's going on?
06:24What's going on?
06:25Because you carry within you
06:27A little monster
06:28And you blame others
06:29The people around us
06:32When we are
06:33With this type of compulsion
06:34They bend under the weight
06:36That we are awarding them
06:38We are putting them
06:39A tremendous burden
06:40And their little knees are buckling.
06:42So
06:43I want to invite you to
06:44Discover your compulsions
06:46With complete honesty
06:47Nobody will be able to do it
06:48The best thing about you
06:49Don't feel threatened
06:50Or threatened
06:51Don't do it because
06:52Because
06:53Just write it down.
06:55And then that's it.
06:55No, try it
06:56Proof
06:57Proof
06:58And you're going to have a format
07:00That you will be able to download
07:02Here on the platform
07:04We have attached it.
07:06So you can work on it
07:07Get that format out
07:09And he starts to aim
07:10Let's see
07:11I think I have
07:12This compulsion
07:13The things that cause you
07:15More conflict
07:16Write them down
07:17Attitudes
07:18Those who complain the most
07:19From you
07:20Write them down
07:21It doesn't mean they're right.
07:22But write them down
07:23So that you can observe them
07:23And say
07:24Maybe
07:25Maybe
07:26Probably
07:26In one of those
07:27Maybe they're right.
07:29And maybe they're my compulsions
07:30The ones that are complicating my life
07:32See you in the next episode
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07:39Thanks for watching the video.