- 10 months ago
Category
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PeopleTranscript
00:00:00Oh, hey, what's wrong? I can't see I got something in my eye. I'll go get the eyedrops one second. Oh hell
00:00:05Yeah, okay, please hurry because oh, hey, are you okay? Tell me why'd you just slap me?
00:00:10It wasn't me. I'm just over here being good as hell terrible. Seriously. Don't mess with me. I can't see anything else. Oh, seriously stop
00:00:17I'm not doing anything. I'm just relaxing
00:00:19Are you ready to go on an adventure? Say adventure
00:00:26Okay, well boogie get your ass up I'm gonna play some video games so I won't get out of here
00:00:30I'm watching my show. I don't give a hot ass will boogie. It's my turn
00:00:33I have my brand new video game console and I want to play video games now move
00:00:37I'm not gonna tell you again Tyrone get out before I miss my favorite part
00:00:41You know what if you ever want to see this teddy bear wife again, you're gonna get out of here
00:00:45And wet me use the TV. Oh, yeah, is that a threat? Hell? Yes. All right, cool
00:00:58Hey get up off your crusty house and give me a back massage
00:01:01Tyrone stop talking to me like that get out of here
00:01:03I'll get out of here when you finally get up and give me a back massage
00:01:06I'm not giving you a back massage go play with your little sister
00:01:09No, don't worry Tyrone. I'll give you a back massage. Are you sure you're even strong enough? Yeah, I'm pretty sure don't worry
00:01:15Ah, okay. So I just want you to really focus on the war
00:01:24Hey, look at you being all wazy you need to get up right now Tyrone, what are you doing? I'm taking a nap
00:01:30That's why you barely made any gains get on my level
00:01:33Get up right now. Was that supposed to be you blowing a whistle? Yes
00:01:37I just don't know how so I have to make the sound with my mouth
00:01:39You just literally blow air into the you know, forget it. Tyrone get out. You see this picture
00:01:44This was me one week ago before fitness changed my wife now get up on your personal trainer
00:01:49Get up and get to work. I don't need a personal trainer now get out
00:01:53Unacceptable. Oh tyrone. Are you a fitness instructor now? Hell? Yes. Nice
00:01:58I've been wanting to get in shape so I could look 25 years old again. Okay, fine
00:02:02We'll start your training session right now
00:02:04Get the hell out of that wheelchair you wazy bum. Well, I need it for my leg. I've got a sciatic nerve pinch
00:02:09I I said get the hell up and move
00:02:12Oh, i'm moving. I'm moving baby
00:02:25Tyrone what are you doing? You see i'm taking a nap? Well, isn't it obvious you huckleberry house?
00:02:29I'm building my house of four. Okay, two things one
00:02:31Stop taking all the pillows and cushions off the couch two. You can't build a fort go back to your room
00:02:36No, I don't have enough room up there to build a fort that I want to build. It's a castle, right?
00:02:41Cool, maybe you didn't hear me. You cannot build a fort. I don't give you permission
00:02:44Well good because I didn't ask for your permission. Okay, that's it. Now. I see it's time to
00:02:49Hey there matthew. I left you some bath water upstairs. It's still warm marjorie. Get out
00:02:55Hey, what's all that noise in here? Perfect babe. Your son's not listening to me and your mom's being a weirdo
00:02:59Please help sweetie. Your boyfriend's the one flirting with me
00:03:02Okay, all done. Everyone's welcome except for you crusty house. Matthew
00:03:07How did you meet me at the top floor of the castle matthew?
00:03:12Oh, okay, i'm all done playing outside i'm gonna um, i'm gonna go wash up real quick and then go to sleep
00:03:17Hold on, man. Why are you all covered in dirt?
00:03:20Oh, um, no reason. I was just being hilarious eight-year-old outside playing outside, you know, just being being fun
00:03:26Okay, i'm gonna go shower and go to bed no, no, no, hold on that's suspicious
00:03:29What are you holding behind your back? Nothing? Let me see it now. Okay, fine
00:03:33I just found this wizard outside and I wanted to keep it
00:03:36I promise i'm gonna feed it and take care of it every day tyrone that lizard's dead
00:03:41What how hard are you holding that thing? Well, I just didn't want him to escape. Holy smokes
00:03:45Well, he ain't going nowhere now. Okay, wait, hold on. Maybe he's just taking a little nap tyrone
00:03:49He's not taking a nap. Just throw it outside. Okay. Well, can I at least keep this frog that I found? Oh my god, tyrone
00:03:56The boogie stop don't draw on your baby sister. Oh, hey crusty house. I have a brilliant idea
00:04:01You should let me tell her a good night story. No, she doesn't need a good night story
00:04:05She's not going to sleep. Oh, please. It will be a great bonding moment with me and her fine
00:04:09Tell her a story. Okay. Zia once upon a time there was a man
00:04:17What else finished the story what do you mean I just did tyrone that's not a complete story
00:04:21Yes, it was what do you mean once upon a time there was a man this man existed once that's dumb get out
00:04:27That story's stupid. Okay, fine. Just give me a chance. I'll tell another one once a whale swam in the ocean
00:04:33Okay, and then what what do you mean? And then what I mean he swam in the ocean. The ocean is huge
00:04:38That's a good enough story a story needs a beginning middle and end it did it began
00:04:43There was substance in the middle and then it ended. What are you talking about? All you're doing is starting a story
00:04:49Okay, fine one more birds flying high get out. I'm, sorry, baby. I'm, sorry
00:04:54Hey, you crusty stank raggedy zip back. No money having bum of a turn. That's enough. What are you in my office for?
00:05:01I think it's my office now
00:05:04Every time you wear that jacket you start acting disrespectful get out
00:05:07I'll leave as soon as you give me some lunch money. I'm not giving you lunch money. Hey
00:05:12Give me some lunch money. No
00:05:14Fine, then i'll punch a hole in this wall right here. If you don't cough up the cash
00:05:17I don't care find it
00:05:21You just hurt yourself, didn't you?
00:05:24Um, no. Oh, yeah do it again
00:05:27No, I just don't feel like it. Yeah, that's what I thought. Um, okay
00:05:31I have to go blow my nose. It might sound like crying but it's not it's the sound of my snot
00:05:40Hey, look, it's a cute little kitten
00:05:42Meow, uh something's wrong with that cat. Oh my god, babe. We should keep it. Absolutely not
00:05:48He's just scared because he smell your breath and your breath smells like the owls of a wooly mama
00:05:52Tyrone don't talk to me like that
00:05:55It's adorable. I want to keep it. Nope. You better let me keep her. I'm gonna have my wheel
00:06:03We'll keep it we'll keep it I got a kitten
00:06:05Thank you
00:06:10All right, tyrone come help me build this campfire no because your breath smells like a chipmunk's owls tyrone babe i'm cold
00:06:16I know that's why we build a campfire
00:06:18How's about I come over there and help warm things up if you're talking about helping to build the campfire then?
00:06:23Yes, marjorie sweetie. Your boyfriend's hitting on me again. No, i'm not babe. Get your mom mom
00:06:28He said he wants to come grip my sweet candy yams
00:06:31Okay, do you guys want to camp or not not with you because you're not my wheel dad tyrone
00:06:35Only if I get to share my tent with you, I don't know anymore
00:06:38There's no wi-fi. We'll make it all hot and steamy. My wheel dad comes back from the grocery store
00:06:42He's gonna kick your ass. Okay. Yeah, this was a bad idea. I'm going home
00:06:47Tyrone don't kick my chair. You need to move your desk
00:06:49I can barely see the teacher number five on the classroom board states that you may not move your desk
00:06:54Therefore your request is illegal. Okay. I'm hearing a whole lot of talking coming from the back of the classroom
00:07:00It's not me it's algorithm I told you you're not allowed to call me by my nickname it's allen to you
00:07:05Yeah, whatever you say algorithm. Okay, tyrone algorithm knock it off or it's detention for both of you
00:07:11If you don't move i'm gonna kick your ass. I don't respect empty threats
00:07:14You're gonna respect it when I punch the back of your head
00:07:16I can tell by the position in which you're sitting that you'd miss however in the unlikely event that your punch connects your body mass
00:07:23Index reveals that you would strike with a force of less than two pounds per square inch
00:07:27Ow, let go zia. Let go. It's my sleepy time bear. Let it go. Stop. No, this is mine
00:07:34Zia no fighting. No my bear my bear the boogie. Just let zia have it. You got two other bears right now
00:07:42Pathetic look at you thinking, you know how to parent tyrone get out. What are you coming in here for?
00:07:47Well, mostly just to laugh and make fun of you for not knowing what the hell you're doing
00:07:50Oh, yeah, you think you know how to get your sisters to stop fighting? Yes, they both want the same bear obviously
00:07:56Okay, let me see your brilliant plan to solve this fine, excuse me girls you both want this then here you can both
00:08:09Well, would you look at this sweeping like a baby you better not even think about touching my daddy
00:08:17Who smacked me
00:08:21Oh, those are some haunches that are ready for the smacking
00:08:26Come on, this is a bunch of house flakes. I shouldn't have to go to school today
00:08:30Tyrone just because it's raining doesn't mean you don't have to go to school. You have an umbrella get inside
00:08:34This umbrella can barely cover my house. I'm not gonna tell you again. Have a good day at school tyrone
00:08:37Why do you have to make my wife so difficult your life is difficult because you have to go to school
00:08:41Yeah, your weird house wouldn't understand because you're old as hell tyrone
00:08:44You've been eight years old for like four years. You're the weird one go to school
00:08:47I
00:09:01Need my mom to read me a good night story tyrone go back to bed
00:09:04Well, it's hard for me to go to sleep without a good night story
00:09:07She's not gonna read you a good night story. It's two in the morning. You need to go back to bed, please
00:09:12I need a good night story tyrone. I swear if you wake your mom up you're gonna sleep outside
00:09:17Mom, okay. I have a story for you
00:09:19Once upon a time there was a little boy named tyrone who had to sleep in the backyard because he woke his mom up
00:09:25That story sucks dinosaur hours
00:09:33Good night
00:09:36Tyrone what you doing in the fridge? I'm working for your mom. Don't talk like that
00:09:39Get out the fridge and finish your schoolwork. No, keep acting it up
00:09:42I'm gonna tell your mom your breath smells like kangaroo hours tyrone get out the fridge or i'ma drag you out
00:09:47I don't have to listen to you because you're not don't say it. My don't will
00:09:53stop
00:09:56Now go finish your schoolwork
00:10:00Hey, yo tyrone stop kicking my seat. Where's my mom?
00:10:03She told me to pick you up from school today because she had to work overtime. My dad is gonna kick your eyes
00:10:08Hey, don't talk like that. Yeah, but he is gonna kick your eyes. Oh, yeah, well your dad's not here
00:10:12Is he oh you haven't met him since you were born? Yeah, only because he's on his way back from the grocery store
00:10:18Hey, man, stop kicking my seat. No
00:10:21Okay
00:10:29Well, well well what the hell do we have here
00:10:32Leave me alone. Looks like my mom's wazy boyfriend's taking a nap again. Tyrone. What do you want?
00:10:37I want you to get up and bake my house some peach cobbler
00:10:40No, i'm not gonna bake you peach cobbler at 10 30 at night. Well, I want it right now
00:10:44I'm having a craving. No, you're not having a craving man. Go to bed. Fine. I'll do it myself
00:10:51You better not touch that oven
00:11:02You better not touch that oven
00:11:05All right, tyrone get out of the car let's go hell no you said my house could drive
00:11:09Yeah, you can drive when you're old enough to now get out. Let's go fine
00:11:15Damn now nobody can drive
00:11:17Did you just throw my keys into traffic? Hell? Yeah, they belong to the street now go get them
00:11:23No, you go get them since you want to drive so bad. You know what? I always keep an extra pair of keys
00:11:28Good luck walking home tyrone. What the hell?
00:11:31Enjoy the exercise buddy
00:11:35Yo tyrone your feet stink, yeah
00:11:37Well, what would you do if I kicked you in the face with my stinky foot? Don't uh, do it and find out
00:11:42Sounds like permission
00:11:47Okay, i'm not gonna lie I didn't think you'd actually do it yeah, well you get what you deserve
00:11:52That didn't even make me flinch. What are you gonna do? You're gonna hit a little kid
00:11:56I'll sue you for all five of your dollars. All right, cool. I got something for you
00:12:00Le boogie
00:12:02Hey, uh, go play with your big brother tyrone. He just kicked me in the face. So I need to go lay down
00:12:06Have fun tyrone
00:12:09I'm, dr
00:12:10Heart man tyrone. You could just take a seat right over there. No one better have died on this table
00:12:15Tyrone stop go sit down today. I'll be giving you a
00:12:19Shot in your arm. I don't give a hot house. I'm strong as hell. I'm not even sick tyrone. Chill out
00:12:23He's giving you a shot. It's a needle in your arm. What the hell? No, he's not
00:12:27Oh, that's exactly what i'm doing. No the hell you're not all I came in here for was a shot
00:12:31Yeah, tyrone. What do you think a shot is now? Just go ahead and
00:12:35Relax your arm. If you even think about touching me with that needle. I'm gonna kick your ass tyrone. Don't start. Okay, here we go
00:12:42five
00:12:43four
00:12:45three
00:12:48Oh
00:12:58I know this cat is not dragging his butt all over my floor
00:13:01Yeah, his house is itchy as hell. First of all, watch your mouth. Secondly, pick him up and go clean it
00:13:05No, ew, that's disgusting tyrone. I told you the only way you could keep this cat is if you took care of him now
00:13:10Go clean him
00:13:18Oh good, it looks like he's almost done now
00:13:22You have got to be kidding me
00:13:27We have a serious problem it's tyrone. Yeah, what's wrong with him?
00:13:31He's been playing video games for four days straight with no sleep. I think he's losing it. Okay, calm down
00:13:36Yo, tyrone. Come here. Yes
00:13:38So what said they want to be here the hell I am. What's up, buddy old pal?
00:13:44Yo, you look rough man, you need to go take a nap
00:13:47Yeah, well I will after I get done playing some video games
00:13:50I just then I can go ahead and get some much needed sleep. Okay. I'll tell you what right now
00:13:54Just go take a quick 15 minute nap. That's it right now. You really think I should right now? Yes right now
00:14:01Okay, I think i'll just go ahead and nap
00:14:07Tyrone i'm gonna like go to your room not right here on the floor. Hey, stop shush. Just let him sleep
00:14:11Don't wake him up
00:14:14I just want
00:14:20Hey, what the hell is this I mean seriously, come on, uh, I mean it looks like you're wearing your sister's clothes
00:14:25Yeah, because someone keeps putting her clothes in my laundry basket. All right, man
00:14:29You know, you don't have to put her clothes on right?
00:14:31Well, I didn't realize it wasn't my clothes until after I was fully dressed. It took you that long to realize it. Hell
00:14:37Yes, tyrone, you better quit stealing all my clothes because i'm tired of wearing yours all your pants have a pee stain on them
00:14:44Hey, what the hell what boogie? Oh my gosh. Okay tyrone. You don't have to wear the boogie's clothes
00:14:48You don't have to wear tyrone's pee stained pants. It's not pee. It's just I just I just accidentally spilled water on all of my pants
00:14:59I'm gonna need you to get up and go do all of your chores tyrone
00:15:03Where did you get this beard from? Oh this luxurious beard. Oh, you're just joe's day
00:15:08You're not man enough to grow a beard like this. Why is it gray?
00:15:11You want to know what a secret I didn't actually grow it. Yeah, I know
00:15:15I snuck into grandma's room and I shaved all of the hair off of her legs while she was sweeping
00:15:21That's disgusting. You have your grandma's leg hair on your face. Hey matthew
00:15:24I know you're my daughter's boyfriend, but I woke up this morning with silky smooth legs
00:15:29Don't be shy come over here and put some lotion on me
00:15:33Do da do do do do do do da do do do do do da do do do do?
00:15:40What tyrone you obviously want attention
00:15:42Oh, what no, these these are just my new headphones that my mom got me as you can see they fit
00:15:46So cozy in my ear. Yeah, I don't care get out. I'm taking a nap
00:15:50Do do
00:15:56Hey, man, do you plan on staying in here? Hell? Yes. Cool. I'm going to another room. See you later bucko
00:16:03Hmm
00:16:15Tyrone what is going on? Why are you in a hole in my wall? Well, isn't it obvious you huckleberry house?
00:16:20I heard a squirrel in the wall and i'm trying to catch it
00:16:23You broke a hole in my wall because you thought you heard a squirrel. I don't think I know I heard a squirrel
00:16:28I just want to be clear. Are you saying squirrel? Yes. What are you deaf squirrel squirrel squirrel?
00:16:35Patch up that hole and go to your room. No, you're distracting me. He's probably getting away
00:16:49Why did you just slap me because I need to get your attention you already had my attention
00:16:53I really really have to go to the bathroom then go
00:16:56Why are you in here telling me because I already did go but there's more that's about to come spilling out
00:17:01Did you clog my toilet? Yes, and now it's all over the floor and the walls
00:17:04So I don't want to be in there anymore. I literally don't even have the energy for
00:17:10Help oh somebody left a mess in the bathroom. I slipped and I fell now my hip is dislodged
00:17:16Matthew come over here and pop it back into place
00:17:20Hey, hey
00:17:22What are all you kids doing in my car, oh, it's no big deal bucko tyrone just
00:17:27He's invited us over for dinner. Yeah, tyrone doesn't get to make that call get out
00:17:31Hey, what do you think you're doing? You're not about to kick my friends out. Yeah, mister
00:17:34We're really looking forward to our five course meal ain't about to be no five course meal. I mean it everybody get out
00:17:40This seat is very uncomfortable. Yeah, maybe because it's not meant for you. My baby's car seat goes there
00:17:45Hey, you better watch your tone tyrone. I mean you're in trouble this time because you sir. Hey, um, sir
00:17:51I just found this money here in your cup holders
00:17:53And I was just wondering if you could scoot over so I could check for more under your seat
00:17:57You didn't find that money because it wasn't lost just scoot over for like a second because I want to check under your seat
00:18:02No, man, put the money back. Yeah. Well, I already called dibs. So, you know, it's mine now. That's not how this works
00:18:08I need a chiropractor because this chair has no lumbar support, sir. I'd like a granola bar
00:18:13Hey, you heard the woman get my girlfriend a granola bar. You guys can have the car sweet
00:18:17I called dibs on all the seat change. Hell. Yeah
00:18:20Hell yeah, come on. No, turn off cut the games off time for bed. No get out of here
00:18:24Your breath is distracting me. It smells like hot baboon house. Nope. I'm not dealing with this today. I'm getting your mom
00:18:41Hell yeah, hell yeah, i'm having so much fun. Hey, let's run over here hurry
00:18:45Yo, come on
00:18:46Why are you making all that noise because my house is playing video games online and I just made a new best friend
00:18:50We're having so much fun. Okay. I'm glad you're having a good time. Be nice and keep it down. Okay
00:18:57What the hell you just made me lose you're trash your house is trash you're trying to
00:19:03Let you talk online i'm trash
00:19:09Come on, babe, come on, babe get him terrible. You just asked her what we're doing
00:19:16Trying to get him. Okay, you're not helping by telling me where he's at. I see him up there
00:19:20All right, come on, babe. He's just an eight-year-old. Yeah, i'm only eight years old and i'm kicking your ass in this game
00:19:26You're trash. You're terrible. You know what? This is why you'll never be man enough for my mom
00:19:30You're a terrible stepdad and you're trash at this game
00:19:35Yeah, who's trash at this game now tyrone
00:19:37What
00:19:46How could you he's just a child he's only eight years old seriously, you're the adult here you need to grow up matthew
00:19:53I didn't think I was
00:19:58Look at you all wazey just sitting over there not working out
00:20:01You're gonna regret not being strong like me and my grandma. That's right. Sweet grandbaby
00:20:06Let him know he's getting slow and out of shape
00:20:09Guys, please i'm trying to watch my favorite show. Can you just do that in the garage? Hell no
00:20:13Just watch me matthew
00:20:14Do as I do
00:20:18Babe can you please talk to your mom for me?
00:20:22Cool marjorie, please go work out somewhere else. I feel 25 years old again. I'm gonna do a backflip
00:20:30Oh
00:20:31Holy smokes grandma. Yo marjorie. Are you okay? Yeah
00:20:34I'm perfectly fine. This is all normal. I don't think your leg is supposed to bend that way
00:20:39No, yeah, don't don't don't worry. I do this all the time. I just need a band-aid
00:20:43A band-aid is not gonna fix that. Oh, maybe an ice pack. Give me an ice pack. Yeah, i'ma call the ambulance. Oh god
00:20:49That's so much pain
00:20:52Well, you heard it here first i'm part of in a wee wrestling team
00:20:55So you better not mess with me unless you want your house kick
00:20:58Okay, tyrone don't let this go to your head and you're not wrestling anybody in this family
00:21:02You understand you're not gonna tell me what the hell to do. Do you not see this outfit? Holy smokes. I'm world champ, babe
00:21:08Babe, i'm gonna audition to be a cheerleader on his wrestling team. Tell me how I do go go fight win
00:21:13Okay, relax relax wrestling teams don't need cheerleaders so you can stop you did great mom tyrone sweet grand baby
00:21:20You know, I was a wrestler back in my day too. Really grandma. Oh, yeah, you don't get thighs this big for nothing
00:21:27Marjorie, please stop showing your leg and guys we need to make sure tyrone's responsible tyrone. Come here
00:21:32I want to show you my favorite wrestling move. Did you not hear what I just said, babe?
00:21:35Get your mom. Um, okay, you can do it mom. Show him go fight win
00:21:39That's not even close to what I meant tyrone
00:21:41I want you to try to grab me by my neck and slam me to the ground but wait until I
00:21:50Um
00:21:52My house just did a backflip when nobody was looking tyrone quit playing around and go take out the trash fine
00:21:56Whatever you say captain dingleberry
00:21:59Hell yeah, my house is gonna slide down the stairs
00:22:02Oh
00:22:11Welcome to day number one of your horseback riding lessons tyrone. Hell yeah, my house is a ranger
00:22:16It's cold and raining. Are you sure these are the best conditions for horseback riding lessons?
00:22:19There are literally no better conditions to learn. Hmm. Well, I disagree. How the hell do I make him giddy up?
00:22:24Do I swap his house? Well, no, you never want to smack a horse on his butt. It makes him buck
00:22:29He kicks his legs out and it could be dangerous. Yeah, right. Giddy the hell up
00:22:36Um, whoops, well he bucked so let's get out of here tyrone before we get sued
00:22:42You're so amazing god bless you and I hope you get everything that you desire
00:22:46Thank you tyrone, but i'm trying to work. So if you don't mind, I would just like we smokes
00:22:50Hold on a second. I wasn't talking to you matthew
00:22:54Then who are you talking to i'm on the phone with my girlfriend abagatha gawori in the grave
00:22:58See i'm using my super secret hidden earpiece, man. How am I supposed to know that go talk in another room?
00:23:03Hold on. Yes
00:23:05Yes, okay. Absolutely here abagatha gawori in the gray wants to get that earpiece out of my face
00:23:11Well abagatha gawori in the gray wants to talk to you. I don't want to talk to abagatha
00:23:16Whatever her name is get out. Holy smokes
00:23:18Dare I was just spitting mad game and you had to interrupt my prayer mac and because you're jealous of all of the sauce
00:23:24That I have shut up man. Do you ever listen to yourself? Hell? Yes, man
00:23:27Go bother somebody else. Okay, you know what?
00:23:29I'm, sorry, and I really care for you and I apologize for any wrongdoing I might have ever done
00:23:33All right. Well, I forgive you. I'm just trying to get holy smokes. I'm not talking to you earpiece, duh
00:23:39What just what?
00:23:41Hey, this is my new plant. His name is plantonio and I have to keep him alive for my school science project
00:23:46Okay, I don't care he eats and he's able to stay alive using photosynthesis tarun
00:23:51I gotta be honest with you. I don't care about plantonium. Holy moly. Watch your mouth
00:23:56He has feelings, please. I'm trying to work. Okay, just babysit him for two seconds while I make myself a delicious glass of hot tea
00:24:11Yo, tyrone your cat thinks plantonio's a litter box. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What the hell did you do?
00:24:16What did I do man? You left him in here
00:24:20No
00:24:27Uh tyrone, where do you think you're going?
00:24:28I was just I was my I was just going to miles was just going to I was
00:24:32Looking for I wasn't even I was doing nothing. I wasn't doing anything
00:24:36Okay, bottom line is you need to brush your teeth and go to bed. I just did I already brushed them
00:24:41No, you didn't I didn't even hear the water. Okay, fine. I'll do it right now
00:24:49Okay, all done tyrone go actually brush your teeth I just did look they're queen as hell
00:24:57They look disgusting i'm not gonna tell you again go actually brush your teeth with toothpaste and then go to bed
00:25:02No, I already did. I promise you my breath is minty fresh smell. No
00:25:08Oh
00:25:12You're so hilarious
00:25:14Oh, you see this is what the hell I love most about you. Oh, you're so pretty
00:25:19So what the hell are you wearing? Yo tyrone get off the phone and get out of my office. You're interrupting me
00:25:24I'm talking to my girlfriend. No, you're not not anymore. Get out. Anyway, sorry
00:25:29That's just my crusty old stepdad thinking he runs this place. So what did you think of my outfit?
00:25:34Give me that phone. Hey now you don't get to talk to anybody
00:25:36Did you seriously just hang up on my girlfriend abogad for glorying the grave? Yes now get out of my office
00:25:41You're grounded. She is not gonna like that. You have no clue what you've just done
00:25:44I don't care what she likes or doesn't like this is my house and i'm not gonna let
00:25:50Tyrone I had to come make sure you're okay
00:25:52The phone just abruptly hung up little girl. Did you just burst through my ceiling? Hell? Yes, she did
00:25:57You shouldn't have hung up on tyrone. You need to get a job and pay for this
00:26:04Hmm what the hell do I want? Oh sweet. Hell. Yeah, I want this
00:26:08Hmm. Oh, I also want this. Oh, hell. Yeah, give me some of this sweet. This is perfect
00:26:15Hey
00:26:17Treats and all of the snacks that your dad promised we could have. Oh, wow
00:26:20Did my daddy really say we could have this? Hell? Yes
00:26:23He just told me to take all of this out of the refrigerator right now. Awesome. Thank you. Hell. Yeah
00:26:36Where are the kids
00:26:39Oh, hey, well we'll boogie until you guys can have the rest of this food
00:26:42I just have to um run to the bathroom real quick. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Tyrone
00:26:48What the boogie? No, what have I told you about sneaking into the refrigerator? No, you cannot have this food
00:26:54Oh, well, I just woke up from a nap. What the hell is going on?
00:26:57Your baby sister snuck into the fridge again. Wow. She's so disobedient. You should ground her
00:27:05Hmm it's my lucky day. I found a sandwich outside tyrone. Where exactly did you find that sandwich outside?
00:27:10Just laying on the ground. It's a blessing in disguise because i'm hungry as hell throw it away, man
00:27:14You don't eat stuff from off the ground outside. It's all good
00:27:16There's a five second rule that thing been on the ground a lot longer than five seconds. You'll be all right tyrone
00:27:21I find stuff on the ground all the time. Look at these dentures. I've been waiting to try these bad boys on
00:27:26That's disgusting marjorie. Do not put someone else's dentures in your mouth
00:27:30key
00:27:31Okay, this sandwich was a really bad idea. It tastes disgusting
00:27:37The dentures were gross
00:27:41Come on
00:27:43Hell yeah, good luck getting away with any crimes now tyrone. What are you doing? Obviously i'm setting up a hidden surveillance camera
00:27:50Okay
00:27:50first of all
00:27:50That's not a very hidden surveillance camera and secondly
00:27:54Why because someone keeps stealing all of my cereal and i'm gonna catch them once and for all and teach them a lesson
00:27:59Is that why there's a bowl of cereal on my couch over here? Hell? Yes now shush
00:28:03You're gonna give away my hidden camera trick tyrone. That's not hidden. Oh nice a bowl of sweet toasted nutty crunch
00:28:10Just right for the taking
00:28:13Excuse me. Tyrone. Nice camera, huh? Caught you red-handed grandma. Oh, um, what me?
00:28:19Yeah, stop stealing my cereal. Good luck eating it without your dentures
00:28:24Now if you stop stealing my cereal you just might get your dentures back
00:28:28Oh sweet grandbaby, if you think not having teeth is gonna stop me from eating you got another thing coming
00:28:35I've learned a sacred technique of letting food just sit in my mouth until it dissolves into liquid
00:28:41There's arthritis in my wrist tyrone, what are you doing, man? I'm watching tv
00:28:45I'm, just playing with my new toy geriatric john when you pull this drawstring he talks watch
00:28:51I've got a sciatic nerve pinch. Ha. Where did you even get this toy? My grandma got it for me as a present
00:28:58I can tell it's gonna rain because my joints get all achy. Cool. Well play with that in your room
00:29:04Stop bothering me ethel i'll get to the chairs on the porch whenever I get to okay
00:29:08Tyrone stop pulling that string. Okay. Okay. Fine. I'll stop just one more
00:29:13Remember the alamo. It's a great tale. Perhaps you should educate yourself
00:29:18Here's the history the great battle of the alamo took place in february 23rd, 1886
00:29:25That's it. I'm out. I can't do this anymore
00:29:28Hey
00:29:30Excuse me buddy. Oh pal. I know you hear me tyrone
00:29:33This is why you're about to take the bus home from school get in the car
00:29:36I'll get in the car as soon as you hop out and open up the door for me
00:29:39I'm, not about to hop out and open up the door for you
00:29:41What good is having a manservant if you're not gonna do as I command i'm not your manservant. Let's go fine. You know what?
00:29:50Did you seriously just throw your shoe at me hell yes, and I have another one too, okay
00:29:54So here's what's gonna happen. You're about to
00:29:57Now don't make me ask again. Okay. Tyrone now you've gone too far i'm about to
00:30:01Oh, oh, oh hell yeah, i'm waking ninja. How many shoes do you have?
00:30:07Oh
00:30:08Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell. Yeah. I got ice cream. I got a cookie. Hell. Yeah. Hell. Yeah. I got to eat dessert
00:30:13Hell yeah, stop jumping around you're not gonna get sweets anymore after 5 p.m
00:30:16I don't have to listen to you. I'm basically invincible right now. Hell. Yeah, come get your son
00:30:21What come get your son? What come here? What'd you say?
00:30:26Okay
00:30:27Okay, look boogie wait here for a second. You're in trouble tyrone. Don't even try to run
00:30:31I'm about to strap you to the ceiling fan by your underwear. Oh
00:30:46Tyrone why are you taking pictures of your feet because i'm a foot model now
00:30:49I have glorious looking feet and we need to be making millions off of these bad boys
00:30:53Those feet don't need to be seen by anybody. Please. You're just jealous. Look at my model feet poses
00:31:01No, thanks i'm good speaking of foot model
00:31:03I just painted my toenails today matthew and I know you're my daughter's boyfriend
00:31:07But that doesn't mean you can't sriracha my bacon breakfast burrito. Marjorie get off me
00:31:14Yo tyrone stop kicking the ball in the house no, I can do whatever I feel like doing
00:31:19No, you can't seriously stop before you break something as long as i'm the man of the house
00:31:22I don't have to take orders from you
00:31:24So just sit over there in wooserville and let me do whatever the hell I do
00:31:27You're gonna be sleeping outside tonight. Yeah, right
00:31:32Oh no, holy smokes, okay now you just hit your sister and now we have a problem
00:31:42Babe come on, you know, you can't sleep out here on the floor get up. Hey, um, well boogie isn't playing fair
00:31:47She's not sharing any of her toys with me. Okay. Tell her to share. Okay
00:31:53Shit, hey, we'll boogie your crusty house. Daddy said you need to show your
00:32:03Hey get your old house old wrinkly crusty house old kentucky fried bread house old stank house up out of here
00:32:09Tell me who do you think you're talking to?
00:32:11I just told you your stank house ugly house old ass kentucky fries stop
00:32:15Stop talking to me like that or i'ma call your mom. I don't care call her fine jay
00:32:19No
00:32:21Yeah, hey, what's going on? I need you to get your son out of here
00:32:23He's talking crazy tyrone. You say one more disrespectful thing. I'm smacking your mouth off of your face
00:32:28Yeah, well, he's getting on my nerves his stank crusty breath smelling
00:32:41What are you doing? Oh, no, it's fine. Don't worry about it. You can just go around
00:32:46Tell them why is there a massive hole in my wall? Well, it's not gonna be a hole for long. So don't worry
00:32:52I'm knocking down this entire wall and i'm gonna replace it with an automatic sliding glass door system with no locks
00:32:57No, you're not. Yes the hell I am
00:32:59I'm getting dang sick and tired of you guys walking me out of here when I want to play video games
00:33:03So i'm gonna walk through this sliding glass door whenever I feel like playing
00:33:07All right, you're in trouble wait till your mom finds out. Oh, wow, babe. Look a secret passageway
00:33:12I was just in the kitchen and now i'm in here
00:33:17I
00:33:19Let me out. I really have to go to the bathroom. Let me out. Let me out
00:33:22I really have to write tyrone. I hear you, babe
00:33:25Can you please just take him to the bathroom real quick?
00:33:26I don't want him to take me because he's not my real dad after you're done taking tyrone
00:33:30I'm gonna need you to take me to the bathroom, too gross. No marjorie tyrone
00:33:34Do you want to go or not? I would much rather just poop on your seats than go with you
00:33:37Okay, babe, just stay here with my mom. I'll be right back with tyrone sweet
00:33:40It looks like we're gonna get some alone time. Please. Don't leave me with your mom, babe. Stop. You'll be fine
00:33:44You see he just said he wants to double scoop his raisins into my honey bunches of oats. I never said anything close to that
00:33:54Control yourself i'll be right back
00:33:56I know you've been curious about my flexibility and just so you know
00:34:00I can do the splits and put both my legs out the window marjorie. Stop. Here we go
00:34:06Okay, guys, we have 10 minutes before our movie starts so we gotta hurry up all of a sudden
00:34:10I really have to go to the bathroom tyrone. You just told me you went before we got in the car
00:34:13Yeah, well that was then this is now I really have to go. It's an emergency
00:34:17Fine, take the keys and go back inside and hurry up. No, I can't stand up
00:34:20It's gonna all come spilling out tyrone. You better not pee in my new car. It's not pee. It's poo
00:34:25You can wear the diapers i'm wearing. They're barely soiled
00:34:28Grandma, you nasty i'm about to smack you back to your glory days. I can't hold it anymore
00:34:32I have to wet it out all over this back seat tyrone. You better put on your grandma's diaper
00:34:36No, that's it. Tyrone. Get out of the car. Get out right now. Yeah, daddy. Make him take the bus
00:34:41Let's go. You're going back inside tyrone
00:34:43Oh, never mind. Looks like it was just a fart
00:34:46Hey you
00:34:47Get up and make me a grilled cheese sandwich tyrone
00:34:50I know you see your sister zia is sleeping get out of my office your office. I think this is my office now
00:34:57Get out. Hey, you listen to me. I'll get out when I good and hot didn't feel like it
00:35:02Which will be when you make me a grilled cheese sandwich
00:35:05Tyrone, you better not wake up my baby sister. Hmm. What are you gonna do about it?
00:35:09I'm gonna rip you out that jacket and tie you to the door with it. Look boogie. We don't need violence
00:35:14Yes, we do. Well boogie. I'm just joking around. Okay kids, please tyrone. Just get out
00:35:19Whatever you say chump. What did you just call my daddy tyrone? Don't repeat it called his house a chump
00:35:27Okay, everyone I want seat belts on this is a three hour drive wait before we leave
00:35:31I think I have to go to the bathroom tyrone. You have to go to the bathroom again. You just went inside
00:35:36Yeah, well I have to go I just drank a gallon of water you drank a gallon of water that fast hell
00:35:41Yes, I also drank a gallon. I think I have to go to hunt tyrone get out and use the bathroom marjorie
00:35:46You need to move out. Oh, no, I think it's too late. Matthew
00:35:48You better quit flirting with me before you start something up. Oh my gosh guys, please babe
00:35:52Can you get your mom mom knock it off or something?
00:35:58What is that sound here, can you spill this outside?
00:36:01Ew that better not be what I think it is. Yes
00:36:04I had to go in a cup because there's no time to make it outside. Tyrone. That's disgusting. Can you spill mine outside, too?
00:36:11Okay, everyone out the car
00:36:13Oh, wow, what a delicious looking stack of donuts there. I really love donuts tyrone. I don't care
00:36:19Don't touch those donuts there for later. Oh, yeah. No, I know. I just you know, i've just all of my life
00:36:24I've really taken a really keen liking to donuts. Tyrone get out of here and go do your homework
00:36:28Oh, yeah, I am. I just was taking a quick little break to stretch my legs and just
00:36:33Breathe in the smell of delicious donuts. That's all just for energy purposes. I have to go to the bathroom tyrone
00:36:38I mean it you better not touch those or you're grounded. Oh, yeah. No, don't don't you worry about me?
00:36:42Aye aye captain scouts honor
00:36:45Tyrone you better not even be thinking about disobeying my daddy with me alone. We'll boogie
00:36:50Just go back to covering your ugly drawing. Oh, man. I'm so hungry. I'm ravenous
00:36:58Whoa tyrone, what did you just do? Are you kidding me tyrone? What happened to the donuts?
00:37:03Oh, um, I don't know what boogie did it don't eat it tyrone. Okay, it was an accident
00:37:07I promise I was walking to go do my schoolwork and then I tripped and fell mouth first right into them
00:37:12Man, this homework is ridiculous. I'm telling you someone's out to get me. That's it
00:37:16I'm going up to your school and i'm gonna sue them. Okay, babe. Relax tyrone
00:37:20What was the hardest question dante bought two pair of sunglasses and a shirt? How many sunglasses does dante have?
00:37:25Okay, so what did you put I put four and they gave me an f why would you put four?
00:37:30They told you he bought two pair of sunglasses. Well, a pair is two and he bought two pair
00:37:35So that's four. No tyrone. No, that's just the term a pair of sunglasses. That doesn't mean he has two sets of two
00:37:41I'm, sorry, babe. I agree with tyrone on this one. That's a stupid question
00:37:44Okay, you guys are thinking way too deep in this
00:37:46That's just what you call sunglasses a pair of sunglasses a keyword pair pair being two if you buy two pair
00:37:51That's four. Yeah, babe pair. That means two pair. I've never been a fan of pairs. I'm more of an apple gal
00:37:57Marjorie, stop talking. I should go up to the school and kick that teacher's out. Relax
00:38:01Let me prove it to you. Okay, you're wearing one pair of pants, right? No, i'm not wearing a pair of pants
00:38:05I'm wearing one pan one pant that doesn't even make sense. It makes sense. We're going up to the school right now
00:38:10Hell, yeah, let's go kick the teacher's house
00:38:12Tyrone, these are all f's on your report card again. Yeah, because my teacher is a real
00:38:17Wow
00:38:19Yo, we don't talk like that man, where'd you learn that word my friend at school taught it to me he's cool as
00:38:25Tyrone, if you say that word again, you're being grounded, babe
00:38:28Why would you say that word if we don't want tyrone using it my bad?
00:38:31I'm trying to be a good parent over here and it's really difficult. Oh my gosh. Hey there family
00:38:36How the are you marjorie mother? What's your mouth? Well grandma you're cool as all right
00:38:42Everyone stop talking like that and get out. We're doing that. Ah
00:38:47Oh
00:38:56Ah
00:38:58my leg
00:38:59This homework is hard. It says it takes jerry 60 minutes to get to school traveling one mile an hour
00:39:04How long does it take jerry to get to school tyrone? The answer is in the question read it again
00:39:09No, i'm tired of reading it. It's too confusing. Wait, hold on tyrone
00:39:12I can help you out if it takes jerry 60 minutes to get to school
00:39:15We have to ask why isn't he going to a school closer? That's not the point
00:39:19Okay, let me think no tyrone. Don't think about that
00:39:21I'll tell you what jerry will get there a lot faster if he was in a wheelchair
00:39:25It doesn't specify whether he's walking or in a wheelchair. It doesn't matter read the question again
00:39:30Wait, if jerry's traveling at one mile an hour if we divide by two multiply by four subtract ten
00:39:35I think wait, hold on you're going too fast. That doesn't make any sense. Where does jerry live? I'll go pick him up
00:39:40Hell yeah, let's go get jerry and ask him guys. This is a hypothetical homework question. We're coming for you. Jerry
00:39:47Homework can't outsmart us
00:39:49Okay, tyrone. That's the kid you said that's been he keeps taking all my lunch money
00:39:53Okay
00:39:54I'm gonna go talk to him using my words and i'm gonna get your lunch. You're not my real dad
00:39:59It doesn't matter that i'm not your brother. Just hold on. Excuse me, kid
00:40:06Well, he's strong
00:40:07Wow, he just kicked your ass. No, he didn't i'ma try it again
00:40:11Excuse me, uh kid. What what's your name? My name is garrison. Garrison is your real name garrison
00:40:16Just kicked your ass. Okay, stop tyrone. I got this under control
00:40:20There's more where that came from
00:40:22Tyrone give him some money. Ah, we're leaving. I thought you were going to help me kick his ass get in the car tyrone
00:40:27Garrison's real
00:40:31My horse is about to take me to the top of the refrigerator to get some cookies
00:40:35You should throw me a cookie too tyrone you and I both know you don't deserve no cookies, please well boogie
00:40:41I'll be your lookout. I'll make sure no one catches you. Okay, fine. Just make sure my daddy don't wake up
00:40:48Well boogie be careful tyrone, I know what i'm doing you better just be ready to catch okay i'm ready here
00:40:54Okay, now make sure my daddy don't wake up. Hey, look what boogie's on top of the refrigerator
00:40:58I'm afraid she can fall and get hurt. Look boogie. How did you get up there? That is so dangerous
00:41:04How did you even get up there? You could have fallen and hurt yourself
00:41:07I really like chips chips are delicious. Yeah, they are. Let me have some
00:41:12Oh
00:41:13Tyrone your hands stinks. Why does it smell like that? I don't know. I just washed them. Ain't no way man
00:41:18Let me see your hand here. Look now, please. Let me have some chip your hands look gross. Please go wash them right now
00:41:23Okay, i'll wash them and then it's chip time. All right, you better use soap
00:41:27Okay, all queen. Please. Let me have some chips. There's no way you wash them that fast. Yes the hell there is now scoot over
00:41:33I'm hungry
00:41:36I like to wake the chips until they're soggy and then they're squishy and I can eat them really fast
00:41:43I really love chips. You can have the rest of them
00:41:46Oh, man, this food smells really delicious tyrone. You better not dig into that bag that has everybody's food in it. Okay, fine
00:41:53I won't but he won't know if I have one widow french fry
00:41:57Oh
00:42:00That's delicious tyrone, did you just do the one thing I told you not to do I couldn't help it i'm starving i'm lavenous
00:42:07Oh, no, I can't help it
00:42:19Oh my gosh, you gotta be kidding me. Oh, man, I think you need to pull over I have to throw up
00:42:24No, i'm not pulling over you better just hold it in I accidentally ate way too much I think
00:42:32Well, that's it sayonara loser, what do you think you're doing? Well, i'm getting dang sick and tired of your bum house rules
00:42:38So i'm moving out and i'm getting my own house. Okay. Bye, but you can only take whatever you purchased
00:42:44Oh, come on, what the hell? Yeah, so that toilet paper I bought that so it stays here
00:42:50Well, then what am I supposed to wipe my house with I don't know your hand
00:42:53Well, I guess that is why god blessed me with two of them. Okay. Bye
00:42:57Uh, wait a second that game console on that tv. Yeah, I bought those so they stay here, too
00:43:02Oh, come on, seriously. Yeah, I know in that chair your grandma bought that so fine. I don't need any of this
00:43:08All I need is myself. Goodbye. All right. Oh one more thing. Uh, your mom bought that outfit
00:43:13So, you know, okay, seriously, this is getting ridiculous. This is baloney
00:43:17I know it's good. No, no, no, no leave those on you can keep those. What the hell? I can't live like this
00:43:23Yeah, I know but you want to make grown decisions. You're gonna have to go make some grown purchases
00:43:27All right, let's go tyrone. You have to swing at the ball when he throws it. You're not my coach
00:43:31I don't have to listen to you
00:43:33It's fine, babe. Don't worry. He's gonna figure it out. No, no, no, no, come on strike him out grandson. Okay, grandpa
00:43:40I got a kid's meal toy. I got a kid's meal toy. My house got a kid's meal toy
00:43:43I got a kid's meal toy. I got a kid's meal toy. My house got a kid's meal toy ordering
00:43:48Okay. Yeah, let me get a uh, excuse me, sir. Oh, no
00:43:53Does that I want a kid's meal toy my son wants a kid's meal toy, too
00:43:57I don't care then freaking go order him one dad. His son took the one that I wanted
00:44:02He wants the one that your son has sir. I don't care. Who is this? Not knows kid over here
00:44:07Definitely someone who needs their house kicked good dad. This isn't fair one more kid's meal toy one more kid's meal
00:44:12No, not one more kid's meal. Okay. Hold on, sir. Meet me in front of the car kids. Wait here. Just wait here
00:44:17Hold on tyrone. I'm gonna drag that kid through this window. Hell. Yeah. Well boogie. Let's get him sir
00:44:22You need to get another toy. No, he wants another toy
00:44:28Hell no, i'm not cleaning that dish
00:44:32Tyrone I know you are not throwing my dishes leave me alone
00:44:35I'm doing my chores like you told me to do I said clean the dishes not throw them
00:44:39Well, I don't feel like cleaning these
00:44:41I'm getting your mom
00:44:43Jada, what come here? What come here? What'd you say, babe? Come here and look at this, babe
00:44:49It sounded like you just called me. Yeah, I did. Look at how your son's doing the dishes tyrone
00:44:53My sweet baby. Remember what I taught you? Yes, I remember if you don't want to wash it you just throw it
00:44:59Move we'll boogie. No get out of my way. Tyrone. No, you move. Hey tyrone
00:45:03Stop arguing you're setting a bad example for zia. Well, she started it. No, I didn't he did guys
00:45:08You don't have to face each other turn around fine. I'm not looking at you. Yeah, i'm not looking at you either
00:45:13Thank you. Now no more fighting
00:45:18What do you mean you smacked me in the back of the head
00:45:29Tyrone stop making all that noise in this house. You're almost here. My cousins are almost here
00:45:33Yeah, and I don't need you to start acting crazy like that
00:45:36Oh my god, babe, when are they supposed to get here? I don't know my sister says she's dropping them off right now
00:45:40Okay, then everybody needs to make
00:45:42My hand. Oh, yeah. All right. Oh sweet. Hell yeah, I need you kid. Just relax for a second
00:45:52I can't watch your sister's kids
00:46:03Hey
00:46:04Get the hell out of my spot before I make you get out of my spot tyrone
00:46:08I don't have the patience for this take that costume off and go do your homework
00:46:10My name is tyrone the great and you will address me as such i'm not gonna call you that. Oh, yay a magic show, babe
00:46:16Please don't encourage this matthew. I told you to get out of my spot now move scrum
00:46:25Tyrone how did you do that a magician never tells his secrets?
00:46:28Wow, tyrone do me next. I wish I had an ice cold latte as you wish mom scrum do we um, do we um,
00:46:35I've got a large ice latte for a jada. That's me
00:46:38Wow sweet grandbaby my turn I wish I was big. Oh, yeah, you got it. Grandma scrum do we up do we up?
00:46:46Wow, okay. Wow tyrone, this is stupid. Okay, fine get out of here then go to your office scrum do we up do we
00:46:55I think I just want to get a small french fry today. Anybody else want anything? No, i'm good
00:46:59I think i'm just gonna eat leftovers at home. Hi, welcome to burgers fries such and such and so forth
00:47:03What you want? Actually i'm gonna get a uh, small hold on a second. I ain't talking to you
00:47:07Okay, guys, I can see this guy's gonna be difficult
00:47:09So honestly, if you don't feel like waiting we can go somewhere else. I have a whole lot of patients today
00:47:13So honestly, I don't mind waiting. Okay now you can order. What do you want? Okay, just one small fry. It's broken
00:47:19What's broken the fry machine is broken. Ain't no fries. Okay, but it's easy fix though
00:47:24Okay, so then can you fix it? No, I can't fix it. I'm not no mechanic
00:47:28I didn't know mechanic duties went into fixing a fry machine. Yeah, well they do you want to order something else?
00:47:32I'll just take a regular hamburger. Okay, we'll just go with a regular hamburger. Hold on
00:47:36Let me check in the back. You have to check in the back for a hamburger
00:47:39There you go again
00:47:40Once again trying to tell me how to do this job you want to come over here and take over the rest of this shift
00:47:43No, I don't. Okay, then wait while I go check in the back
00:47:47I'm, so sorry guys. This is ridiculous. Okay. Yeah, we got it. Should I go ahead and add that to your order?
00:47:51Please add that to my order. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to another customer. You gotta be kidding me
00:47:55Don't worry tyrone when you get older i'll really teach you how to drive
00:47:58But this is what it feels like to sit in the driver's seat
00:48:00Yeah, well my real dad would teach me how to drive right now
00:48:03No, he wouldn't tyrone. Otherwise he would be here right now
00:48:05Yeah, well the way you teach sucks baboon eyes. Stop talking like that
00:48:08See man, i'm trying to teach you something and this is what does this button? No, don't press that button
00:48:13No, see what you did you turn the car on you need to turn it off. No, don't put don't shift it
00:48:20Oops
00:48:21All right, babe start up the car so we can scuzzle bud. Okay, what is scuzzle bud? Why are you making up words?
00:48:26I didn't make it up. Everyone says it. No, everyone doesn't because i've never heard of this word
00:48:30It's not my mom's fault that you're uncultured and lame tyrone. Sit back. Nobody's talking to you, babe
00:48:35Scuzzle bud is a real word and everyone says it really I bet you can't name one person that says that word matthew
00:48:40You're crazy. It's a real word. Even i've heard someone say it before tyrone
00:48:44Who have you heard say scuzzle bud my mom? Ha see told you
00:48:49Hi, what do you want? Oh, i'm just here to check into my hotel. I have a reservation can't check in till 12, right?
00:48:55No, I mean it's 11 58. That ain't 12. Please sir. I have a baby and an elderly woman with me
00:49:00Who you calling elderly sugar grandma, you're old as hell tyrone. Don't talk to your grandma like that, please sir
00:49:05Let me check in it's just two minutes not gonna happen
00:49:07It's against the rules. Come on, if I was old would I be able to do the splits like this? No marjorie don't
00:49:13I think my mother just broke her head. Don't worry. Your boyfriend's gonna pop it back into place
00:49:18Oh my god, please sir. Just let me check into my room not gonna happen
00:49:20You gotta wait for the other guests to check out. Hi, i'm gonna need to extend my checkout time till 1 p.m
00:49:25No problem. You got it. Well, no, no. No, what was that? Sorry, sir
00:49:28You're gonna have to wait another hour before you can check in. You've gotta be kidding me. Hell. Yeah, my house has bubblegum
00:49:36Hell yeah, hell yeah tyrone stop chewing your gum like that. You're just jealous that you don't have any gum
00:49:43No, you're seriously being annoying and you're starting to get on my nerves well boogie
00:49:47You're just jealous because you don't even have you don't have any teeth to chew any gum
00:49:51Yo, nobody's jealous that you have gum. It's not that impressive. Just stop being annoying with it
00:49:59My house has bubble gum my house has bubble gum. I don't know how many times you gotta learn this lesson, but you better
00:50:10Oh, man, i'm so nervous the most important thing is about to happen to me today
00:50:14What you got a big test at school or what? No, you big dunce
00:50:17I'm about to give my girlfriend the abagafa gowari in the grade a kiss
00:50:21A really big kiss. It's gonna be a total smooch fest. Hurry quick. How do my teeth work?
00:50:26Oh god, okay two things first of all your teeth look disgusting you need to floss secondly at your age
00:50:32Giving your girlfriend a kiss is not the most important thing. You need to be focused on
00:50:36Yes, the hell it is. You don't know anything tyrone get out and go to class. Oh, man. I'm so nervous
00:50:41I could barely stop shaking. Hey tyrone. I put on extra lip gloss today. I'm ready for our smooch fest
00:50:46Okay, that's not happening here little girl. My name's not little girl. Mr. It's abagatha galore in the grade
00:50:51I don't care what your name is. Stop trying to throw salt all over my prayer macken
00:50:55I'm about to kiss her through the window. No, you're not get out the car and go to school
00:51:08Tyrone what are you doing? My house is tired as hell. So i'm brewing some coffee
00:51:12No, you can't just walk into my office and make coffee. Well, I just did kids your age shouldn't even be drinking that
00:51:17Mm-hmm
00:51:19Don't you take a sip?
00:51:24Whoa, whoa, whoa, holy smokes i'm filled with so many ideas right now
00:51:27Okay, tyrone just relax. Holy smokes so many new ideas
00:51:30Here's what we should do. We should build a whole new house start by breaking this wall down
00:51:33Build a whole new one right in this place. Okay. No, we're not gonna do that. Just chill out
00:51:35I think we would go for a cheeseburger right now. You want a cheeseburger?
00:51:37I'm gonna go to the kitchen right now and get a cheeseburger out of the fridge
00:51:40No, no, no, you can't just get a cheeseburger out of the fridge
00:51:42Don't
00:51:46Okay, I didn't find any cheeseburgers but I did find a bag of chips I already ate it
00:51:49Tyrone just calm down so much energy right now
00:51:52Whoa
00:52:07Yo, tyrone what's going on out there? Oh, i'm nothing. Um, god bless your little heart. You just you keep working
00:52:14weird little kid
00:52:16Psst. Hey grandma. Yeah, sweet grandbaby
00:52:20My crusty house raggedy house stepdad just built a grill in the middle of his office
00:52:23He said he wants you to cook him dinner. Hurry. Oh, really? Oh, this is my time to strike. Oh, yeah
00:52:28Go ahead and turn the fire on high
00:52:32Hey matthew get up off your house, I don't know what the hell my grandma's doing
00:52:36She's about to set the house on fire. What hurry? Come on
00:52:40Oh, oh, yeah
00:52:42Cajun smoked hickory chicken tonight
00:52:45Ah, yo marjorie, what are you doing?
00:52:48Cooking dinner jada. Come get your mom. Mother. What the you're sleeping outside tonight
00:52:56Come on let's go run wait till i'm done tying my shoe tyrone
00:52:59Yeah, I can run way faster than you could there's no way you can run faster than me
00:53:02Yeah, I know I can because you're not my real dad
00:53:05Your logic makes no sense. My real dad's running back from the store right now
00:53:08So when I see him i'm gonna race him. Okay, good fine
00:53:11You're scared because you know, I'll kick your ass in a race. Okay, let's race home ready
00:53:16three
00:53:18two
00:53:19one go
00:53:28All right, tyrone your grandma spent a lot of time cooking this so I want you to eat everything and guys
00:53:32I just want us to have a normal family dinner. We just oh
00:53:36We just kicked me
00:53:38Hmm
00:53:39Okay, as I was saying, thank you marjorie for cooking this for us. You're welcome. I put my foot in it
00:53:45Oh god, I hope not. Okay. Anyway guys
00:53:47I want to just oh
00:53:50Tyrone stop kicking me. I need to have a very serious conversation with you under the table. Okay
00:53:56Tyrone what I already tried some of this food and it's disgusting as hell
00:54:02Hey marjorie, what is this recipe?
00:54:04It's lemon juice squeezed on top of chicken foot corn and frog ass
00:54:11What the hell is wrong with the car it's called a flat tire tyrone
00:54:14Yeah, well my wheel dad could fix it in like two seconds flat. Yeah, could he could he
00:54:19Go play somewhere man. I didn't even flinch. I'm gonna go sit back in the car
00:54:23No way, it smells like your breath in there, which smells like my grandma's eyes after she had a whole lot of dairy
00:54:27Sorry, i've been a little gassy
00:54:30There you go, whoa grandma that stinks nope, nope, babe, maybe we could just leave
00:54:35How many times do I have to tell you you better get out there and fix that car?
00:54:37I'm pregnant. I'm hungry. I want to put my feet up get out there and fix that car
00:54:41Tyrone don't start any trouble while we're inside. All I know is i'm gonna kick his abs. See that's what i'm talking about
00:54:47Hey, little nelly. Oh my god. What are you doing at my door? I locked myself out of my apartment
00:54:51Can I just use your bathroom real quick? What what you got use your own bathroom?
00:54:54I just told you I locked myself out. Hey, why don't you just go pee outside?
00:54:56Please let me use it real quick. Hurry up. You better put the toilet seat down
00:55:02Let me play some video games my mommy sleep and then she wake up she gonna work both of us
00:55:06What the hell did you just say you doing? I just said don't act like you don't know what I just said
00:55:09What did you just say you talk really stupid you talk stupid. You better stop talking to me like that
00:55:13You're not athletic. So I didn't even flinch
00:55:16What you want
00:55:23I'm keeping this cat. What cat are you talking?
00:55:28Where did that cat come from I found him outside and he needed my help. Nope. I don't think so put him back outside
00:55:33Babe, let him keep it. The cat was homeless. Yeah. Well, we're not gonna be the home for it
00:55:37See now look at him. You made him sound well too bad tyrone. I don't feel like hearing that babe, please
00:55:42You'll barely even notice he's here
00:55:46No, see he's getting worse, please it's my baby tyrone. You're not it's real dad. You're not my real dad
00:55:52I don't want to hear this thing all night. I promise that's the last time you'll hear him
00:56:04No, you shut the hell up yo tyrone don't talk to me like that i'm not talking to you
00:56:08I'm talking to the stupid ghost standing right in front of you. That's rude. I'm not a stupid ghost tyrone
00:56:13I said shut the hell up. Yeah. All right tyrone. You better quit talking to me like that
00:56:16I said i'm not talking to you. I'm about to kick this ghost stupid ass. I don't even have an ass for you to kick
00:56:22Idiot. Yes, you do. We can all see it. Haha. That means you died with no pants on you imbecile
00:56:27I can't help that the shark ate my pants before it ate me. Okay tyrone
00:56:30I don't care if you're talking to some imaginary ghost i'm about to send you to your room
00:56:33Haha, your dad's gonna send you to your room. He's not my real dad. Wait, seriously?
00:56:38Yeah, and his breath smells like a 40 year old baboon's house. I was about to say I could smell it from over here
00:56:43Yeah, I can't wait to my real dad comes back from the grocery store because he's gonna kick it
00:56:48Kids stop fighting or everyone's grounded until they're 18 tyrone. You better leave your sister alone
00:56:53Well boogie, I don't give a hot owls what they say. You better give me a sip of that juice tyrone
00:56:57I already said no. Come on. I'm thirsty as hell. Go ahead and reach over here and see what happens
00:57:02I just want a little sip
00:57:08So
00:57:13You start by having your hands up like this
00:57:18Tyrone you don't kick in boxing. Yeah. Well if the goal is to kick your owls, then I won
00:57:22Okay
00:57:23No, first of all boxing is a sport and you use your fist i'm learning how to box
00:57:26So when my real dad comes back from the grocery store, i'm gonna help him kick your owls
00:57:30Oh really tyrone?
00:57:30What do you think your real dad's been getting from the grocery store for the past eight years?
00:57:33He's probably getting you some breath mints because your breath smells like my grandma's owls
00:57:37Please don't bring her into this. Did someone just say they wanted to wrestle with me? No marjorie
00:57:41I'm teaching tyrone how to box i'm gonna tell my daughter her boyfriend's hitting on me again. No, i'm not
00:57:45Please go back to bed marjorie
00:57:48You
00:58:03You good. Mm-hmm. Okay. Um, anyway, so I was running on the playground I was uh running from the monkey bars, uh
00:58:10All the way, um to all the way I had to go. Hey, you gotta pee or what?
00:58:15I gotta go really bad. Okay. Well go pee and then finish telling me your story
00:58:20Okay
00:58:22So there I was I was on the playground
00:58:24I was running from the monkey bars all the way to the to the slide and no one could catch me
00:58:28I was the fastest person on the playground. I couldn't even believe it myself. I've been working out a lot
00:58:33Wait, all right. Tyrone go enjoy school and don't forget that you
00:58:37What don't forget what what are you wearing? These are my gymnastics clothes. I'm trying out for gymnastics today
00:58:42Okay, you know they're gonna make you do the splits so you better start stretching
00:58:45I've already been trying and i've been getting pretty close. I can already do this
00:58:52Okay, I don't know what that is, but you've got a lot more work to do wait, I I think I can I can hold on
00:59:01Tyrone you're just straining. What what is this?
00:59:12Well, i'm ready to go try out for gymnastics, yep, okay good luck buddy
00:59:18Hey, can you help me with my homework? I need to
00:59:23Oh
00:59:23Holy smokes god bless me tyrone. You need to go get a tissue and blow your nose. Oh
00:59:28Why is that because you have a booger hanging out your nose? It's disgusting. Okay, fine. I'll just get it
00:59:33No, come on. Don't start digging in your nose. Plus it's in the other nostril. Oh, okay like this tyrone
00:59:39All you did was switch hands. It's in the other nostril. Please just go get tissue. Oh, okay. Wait, wait, I feel whatever sneeze
00:59:46Oh
00:59:48Wow, that probably got rid of everything. Oh, no, it's worse
00:59:52Hey, babe
00:59:53babe
00:59:57Yeah, yes, I really like our new house i'm comfortable here yeah me too
01:00:02I just want us all to be respectful and have peace in this new house
01:00:05I don't want any more. Hey, someone needs to get their eyes up and help me unclog the toilet
01:00:09Okay, tyrone. Don't start that here. Well, I accidentally clogged the toilet and I still have to go
01:00:13Okay, fine. You can use my bathroom and i'll unclog it later. Nope. I accidentally clogged your toilet marjorie
01:00:19Why are you in my room? Why do you still live with us, sweetie?
01:00:22Your boyfriend said he wants to barbecue my beef brisket. He wants to deep fry my onion rings
01:00:27You babe, why would you say that to my mother? I please unclog the toilet. I have to go. Okay tyrone move
01:00:32Babe, be nice have patience
01:00:36Tyrone why is there poop on the side of the toilet?
01:00:39Hey tyrone, how was school today? It was cool as hell. I got student of the month. Oh nice. How'd you get that?
01:00:44I stole it. What do you mean you stole it?
01:00:46So there I was minding my business walking to class when this raggedy house kid named chris came up to me
01:00:51As I wrote I couldn't help but notice you're staring at my student of the month gold sticker
01:00:56Yeah, that's fancy as hell mind if I get a closer look at it?
01:01:00Yeah, get a closer look at something you'll never achieve. Maybe I won't but then again, maybe I will
01:01:06Oh
01:01:08And boom there you have it making you proud that i'm student of the month tyrone
01:01:12No, your teacher. Mr. Larson's gonna suspend you and I
01:01:15Oh matthew. I have something to tell you mr. Learn something. I already know I guess i'm tyrone. He's a thief. He's suspended
01:01:22He's no longer allowed
01:01:27Trust me grandma, it's perfectly safe. You can dwink it. Oh, I don't know about this one. Sweet grandbaby
01:01:32Hey grandma, look at me in my eyes. Would I ever steer you in the wrong direction? Yo tyrone
01:01:37What are you doing in here giving my grandma some of this magical supplement?
01:01:41He says it'll make my legs work and i'll be 26 years old again. Yeah, that's not gonna happen
01:01:45It's just protein powder tyrone. Knock it off and go to your room. Grandma. Don't listen to him drink up
01:01:50Oh, wow. Well, it tastes delicious. Hell. Yes. Now get rid of that wheelchair
01:01:54Well, I don't know my doctor said I really should be using it. I said get rid of it. Oh
01:01:59Oh
01:02:00Oh, it's a miracle, baby. My legs work marjorie. You were never paralyzed, but you do need your wheelchair
01:02:05No, I don't it's a miracle. Baby. The supplement works. I'm gonna do a backflip. No, do not do a backflip
01:02:11I'm gonna do it. Oh, yeah do it. I'm gonna
01:02:18This isn't fair this book report is hot house I shouldn't have to do it tyrone stop when is it due?
01:02:23My teacher said it's due tomorrow. Then. Why are you in here? You better get to writing
01:02:27There's not enough time to read this whole book and then write about it tyrone
01:02:30You've had this assignment for two months and you didn't read the book. Well book reports are difficult. I need help
01:02:35Oh tyrone, I got it. Why don't you just watch the movie and write your report based off the film? Oh, sweet
01:02:40Okay, first of all jada that's cheating and secondly, they didn't make a movie based off this book yet
01:02:44Why don't we just make the movie ourselves? I have a camera. No, that's dumb
01:02:49Great idea mother guys. This is stupid
01:02:51You didn't read the book so you don't know what to make your movie about great point
01:02:55We'll read the book real quick so you can get a basic understanding then we'll make the movie so you can write your report based
01:03:00Off the flick. Okay, sweet. This will be way easier
01:03:02This makes no sense once upon a time in a far away land. There was a man
01:03:07This man was walking through the woods all alone. Oh, no
01:03:11This is it. Holy smokes. This is really it. Yo, what's going on? I have a bloody nose
01:03:17There's blood everywhere. Holy smokes. Okay, move your hand. Let me see
01:03:21Man that's just a little drop. You'll be all right. No, I won't. Oh, holy smokes. Everything's getting all cold
01:03:27I think I see the white
01:03:29All right, you're being a little dramatic. Oh, no, tyrone my baby. What's the matter? It's a bloody nose mom
01:03:35There's blood everywhere. I'm bleeding out. Oh, no, my baby. Is there a doctor in the house?
01:03:40I once played a doctor as an extra on a tv show that'll do mother get in here and help with his bloody nose
01:03:46That'll do mother get in here and help with his bloody nose. All right, you got it first
01:03:50We're gonna want to cauterize the wound you're gonna want to apply some pressure so he doesn't continue to bleed out
01:03:55Okay, tyrone. Are you listening? Stay with me, baby. Holy moly. I've never seen so much blood
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