- 1 year ago
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00Can you please tell your son to stop kicking my seat?
00:03Tyrone, stop kicking his seat!
00:05You hear that, Tyrone? Listen to your mom.
00:07He's not my real dad, so I'm going to keep kicking his seat.
00:10You're not my real dad, so I'm gonna kick your seat.
00:12You're not my real dad, so I'm gonna kick your seat.
00:15Tyrone, you keep kicking my seat, I'm gonna get out the car and throw you up into that tree.
00:19No!
00:20Alright, Tyrone, up in the tree you go.
00:23Can somebody please help me down from here?
00:30What is that?
00:37What are you doing in my office? Go back to bed.
00:39How no? I'm a rock star, so I don't have to listen to you.
00:42No, you're not a rock star. Now get out of my office and go back to bed.
00:45You're just jealous as hell. You don't have my musical skills.
00:48You're already grounded for a year. You want to make it two?
00:50Okay, no, fine.
00:52Sheesh, quiet baby.
00:53Put that guitar away and go to sleep. I don't want to hear that again.
01:00My dad, he told you to go to sleep. Now go your ass.
01:12Holy smokes!
01:14Ouch!
01:19Tyrone, what are you doing?
01:20I'm giving my house a haircut since your house failed miserably last time.
01:24I didn't fail last time. You were too scared. Now put those clippers away.
01:28No!
01:28Okay, fine. You mess yourself up. That's your problem.
01:30Yeah, I don't expect ugly-ass people to know what the hell beauty is.
01:34This is the...
01:35Ow! Ow!
01:36Um, okay, so I might have accidentally taken a little bit too much off the top.
01:40What did you do? How is it possible your head looks bigger?
01:43Please, just help me fix it!
01:45Slides your hand across the top of your head.
01:50So in this movie, he dresses like a bat and does karate.
01:52Yeah, but it's more complicated than that.
01:54Hey, Matthew, can you hold still for one second?
01:57Why don't you just take a picture of me?
01:59Because I'm getting dang sick and tired of you living in my house.
02:02So I'm setting you up a dating profile.
02:04Okay, two things wrong with that.
02:05One, this is my house.
02:06And two, your mom and I have been together for years.
02:08Do not set me up a profile.
02:10Wait, you and my mom what?
02:12Yeah.
02:12Tyrone, who did you think I was?
02:14I thought you were just her little friend that overstayed his welcome.
02:17Nope, this is my man.
02:18Oh, hell no, that's it. Time for you to find someone else.
02:21Tyrone, don't.
02:22It's two-way.
02:24Ow!
02:24Hey!
02:25I ran downstairs as fast as I could.
02:27Matthew, I saw your dating profile.
02:29I swiped right.
02:31Looks like we're a match made in heaven.
02:33Oh, God, no.
02:34Babe, please get your mom.
02:35I'm not really sure what I can do.
02:37She swiped right.
02:38You guys are a match.
02:39Oh, I think our first date should be a pedicure.
02:41Ah!
02:42Except these flowers from me.
02:44So you start by having your hands up like this.
02:52Tyrone, you don't kick in boxing.
02:55Yeah, well, if the goal is to kick your owls, then I won.
02:57Okay, no, first of all, boxing is a sport, and you use your fist.
03:00I'm warning how to box, so when my real dad comes back from the grocery store, I'm gonna help him kick your owls.
03:04Oh, really, Tyrone?
03:05What do you think your real dad has been getting from the grocery store for the past eight years?
03:08He's probably getting you some breath mints because your breath smells like my grandma's owls.
03:11Please don't bring her into this.
03:12Did someone just say they wanted to wrestle with me?
03:15No, Marjorie.
03:15I'm teaching Tyrone how to box.
03:16I'm gonna tell my daughter her boyfriend's hitting on me again.
03:19No, I'm not.
03:20Please go back to bed, Marjorie.
03:21Tyrone, do you want to learn how to box or not?
03:23You're not my real dad.
03:24Yes or no?
03:25Yes.
03:26Okay.
03:28Tyrone, you need to just wear your glasses.
03:30You won't be able to see without them.
03:31No, I don't feel like it.
03:33They're gonna make me look ugly as hell.
03:35Tyrone, stop.
03:35They're not gonna make you look ugly.
03:36That's easy for you to say because you're uglier than a bullfrog's owls.
03:39Tyrone, stop it.
03:41Put them on.
03:41You're gonna look beautiful.
03:42Okay, fine.
03:43Jeez Louise, I'll put them on.
03:45You'll look just fine, Tyrone.
03:46You can't...
03:47What?
03:49What the hell are you looking at me like that?
03:51It's nothing.
03:51It's nothing.
03:52I thought these glasses would look different.
03:54Yeah, no, it's fine.
03:55Maybe it'll help if you look left.
03:57No, no, no.
03:58Look the other way.
04:01Why don't your eyes work?
04:02What?
04:03What the hell?
04:03What the hell is going on?
04:05Nothing.
04:05It's nothing, man.
04:06Yeah, yeah.
04:06Don't worry.
04:07You look beautiful.
04:07Okay, fine, then.
04:08I'm wearing these to school and I'm gonna get 23 and a half girlfriends.
04:11Tyrone, what you doing in the fridge?
04:15I'm looking for your mom.
04:16Don't talk like that.
04:17Get out the fridge and finish your schoolwork.
04:18No!
04:19Keep acting up, I'm gonna tell your mom.
04:21Your breath smells like kangaroo owls.
04:22Tyrone, get out the fridge or I'm gonna drag you out.
04:24I don't have to listen to you because you're not.
04:27Don't say it.
04:28My.
04:28Don't.
04:29Will.
04:30Stop.
04:33Dad.
04:33Now go finish your schoolwork.
04:37Hmm.
04:37Okay, let's see.
04:38Do I want mashed potatoes?
04:39Or maybe do I want some chicken?
04:42Hmm.
04:43Okay, I think I want mashed potatoes and chicken.
04:45Hmm.
04:46I think this is gonna go good with...
04:48Yeah, they'll go good together.
04:49Tyrone, I know you don't have food spread out all over my floor.
04:53I'm meal prepping.
04:54Tomorrow's my first day back to school, so I have to make sure that I pack my lunch.
04:57Okay, again, why is it all over the floor?
05:00It's easier for me to make a decision if it's all weighed out in front of me.
05:03This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen.
05:06Tyrone, I just cooked another fresh batch of food for you to pack.
05:13Oh.
05:14Holy smokes.
05:15Tyrone, what's wrong?
05:17Me and my girlfriend, Abigail Fogawoian the Great, broke up.
05:20Well, you're young, and you know, to be honest, you were...
05:22Look at these beautiful pictures of us.
05:25This is one beautiful house picture of us.
05:27This is another beautiful house picture of us.
05:30Here's another beautiful house picture of us.
05:32I have a ton more.
05:34Tyrone, all these pictures look the same, and to be honest, you probably...
05:36Oh, no, what am I supposed to do?
05:38Tyrone, my sweet baby, I'm here for you if you need to talk.
05:40Tyrone, you'll be fine.
05:41I promise it's not that big...
05:43Hey, Tyrone.
05:45I think I'm ready to be your girlfriend again.
05:47Oh, sweet.
05:47Hell, yeah.
05:48Uh, little girl, you just broke a hole in my wall.
05:50My name's not Little Girl.
05:51It's Abigail Fogawoian the Great.
05:53Yay, they're back together!
05:55Uh, guys, what about this hole in my wall?
05:57Love is a beautiful thing, isn't it?
06:00Babe, get your mom off of me.
06:02Hell, yeah.
06:02Hell, yeah.
06:03Hell, yeah.
06:03I got ice cream.
06:04I got a cookie.
06:04Hell, yeah.
06:05Hell, yeah.
06:06I got to eat dessert.
06:07Hell, yeah.
06:07Tyrone, stop jumping around or you're not going to get sweets anymore after 5 p.m.
06:10I don't have to listen to you.
06:11I'm basically invincible right now.
06:13Hell, yeah.
06:14Babe, come get your son.
06:15What?
06:16Come get your son.
06:17What?
06:18Come here.
06:19What'd you say?
06:19Okay, Laboogie, wait here for a second.
06:23You're in trouble, Tyrone.
06:24Don't even try to run.
06:25I'm about to strap you to the ceiling fan by your underwear.
06:28Ow!
06:28Oh!
06:29Laboogie!
06:29Next time you listen to my daddy.
06:37I'm keeping this cat.
06:39What cat are you talking?
06:41Meow.
06:41Where did that cat come from?
06:44I found him outside and he needed my help.
06:46Nope, I don't think so.
06:47Put him back outside.
06:47Babe, let him keep it.
06:48The cat was homeless.
06:50Yeah, well, we're not going to be the home for it.
06:51Meow.
06:52See, now look at him.
06:53You made him sound.
06:54Well, too bad, Tyrone.
06:55I don't feel like hearing that.
06:56Babe, please.
06:57You'll barely even notice he's here.
06:59Meow.
07:01No, see, he's getting worse.
07:03Please, it's my baby.
07:04Tyrone, you're not its real dad.
07:05You're not my real dad.
07:06Meow.
07:07I don't want to hear this thing all night.
07:09I promise that's the last time you'll hear him.
07:10Meow.
07:11Marjorie, would you please stop banging on the ceiling?
07:24The babies are trying to sleep.
07:25No, I can't.
07:26My upstairs neighbor keeps stomping.
07:28I have to teach him a lesson.
07:30Marjorie, there is no upstairs neighbor.
07:31We all live in the same house.
07:32Now, please, get down off that chair before you hurt yourself.
07:35No can do.
07:36Not until I teach my upstairs neighbor a lesson.
07:38Okay, you know what?
07:42Screw it.
07:42I'll go talk to him.
07:44This is just dumb.
07:46Hey, Tyrone.
07:47What are you doing?
07:48My house is just dancing.
07:52Okay, that's not dancing.
07:53You're just stomping.
07:54Can you please not do that?
07:55Hell no.
07:56I'm trying to teach my downstairs neighbor that their music is way too loud all the time.
07:59Tom, can you forgive me?
08:01It's ridiculous.
08:04Okay, Marjorie.
08:05I spoke to him.
08:06He'll stop if you stop.
08:07So please, just stop.
08:09Hey, you listen to me.
08:13No, you listen to me, you little brat.
08:15You think you're tired of the music blasting all the time.
08:16Always walking all the time.
08:18Hey, Tyrone.
08:19Wake up.
08:20I just invited all your friends over for a party.
08:23Oh, sweet.
08:23Hell yeah, Waboogie.
08:28I know I did not just see those kids go walking by.
08:36Hell yeah, everybody.
08:37It's a slumber party.
08:38Hey, no, what is this?
08:39All you kids need to go home.
08:41Oh, did somebody say party?
08:43Go back to bed, Marjorie.
08:44Yay, party!
08:45I love to party!
08:49I need my mom to read me a good night story.
08:51Tyrone, go back to bed.
08:52Well, it's hard for me to go to sleep without a good night story.
08:55She's not going to read you a good night story.
08:57It's two in the morning.
08:58You need to go back to bed.
08:59Please, I need a good night story.
09:01Tyrone, I swear if you wake your mom up, you're going to sleep outside.
09:05Mom, okay, I have a story for you.
09:07Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Tyrone who had to sleep in the backyard
09:11because he woke his mom up.
09:13That story sucks dinosaur owls.
09:17Good night.
09:22Who woke at you in here looking all pathetic and weak as hell?
09:27Tyrone, why are you coming in here bothering me, man?
09:29Because I get sick and dang tired of looking at your weak owls.
09:32You need to get your muscle up.
09:34You need to get buff.
09:35You need to be strong so you can protect your girlfriend who just so happens to be my mom.
09:40Krusty owls.
09:41I'm...
09:41What are you doing?
09:44Taking my protein shake.
09:45It's guaranteed to give you muscles instantly with barely any side effects.
09:48That doesn't sound safe.
09:50Huh.
09:50You wouldn't know.
09:58Whoa!
09:59Hell yeah!
10:02Hell yeah!
10:02Are you intimidated yet?
10:04Yeah.
10:05Okay.
10:05I believe you.
10:06I'm strong as hell!
10:10Tyrone, I believe you're strong.
10:11Stop flexing.
10:12Oh, sweet.
10:20Hell yeah.
10:21This is my favorite song.
10:22Turn it off.
10:22Tyrone, no.
10:23Get in the back and put your seatbelt on.
10:25Well, Boogie keeps on buckling it.
10:27Snitch.
10:27Okay.
10:28Boogie, baby, please don't touch your seatbelt.
10:31Hey!
10:31Turn it back up.
10:32I want to hear the song.
10:33No, I'm not turning it back up.
10:34Yeah, I was getting ready to start twerking.
10:36Marjorie, nobody wants to see you twerk.
10:38Sweetie, your boyfriend keeps telling me how he wants to see me shake my booty like chocolate pudding.
10:42Ew, babe.
10:43Grandma, I'm about to knock the wrinkles out your face.
10:45Turn the radio the hell off.
10:46Tyrone, put your seatbelt on.
10:47Babe, watch out.
10:48Watch out.
10:48There's a guy!
10:51That was close.
10:52My head hurts.
10:53I told you to put your seatbelt on.
10:55Hey, I'm getting dang sick and tired of this.
10:58We need to have all of the toilets in this house lowered ASAP.
11:02Tyrone, we're not going to have the toilets lowered.
11:04That's a stupid request.
11:05Well, it makes it too difficult to aim when I'm trying to go to the bathroom.
11:08Okay, well, how about you just sit down like when you're going number two?
11:11That's what I'm talking about.
11:13Wait, you sit down when you go number two?
11:17Tyrone, are you standing up when you poop?
11:21Oh, my gosh, man.
11:22Get out.
11:22Go clean the bathroom.
11:23Ha!
11:24I remember those struggles.
11:26That's why I gave up on toilets altogether.
11:28I only wear diapers.
11:30Marjorie, get out.
11:31I can't.
11:31I'm going to the bathroom.
11:35Babe, come get your mom.
11:37Hurry the hell up.
11:41I want to play video games.
11:42Tyrone, stop talking to me like that, man.
11:44You need to go to your room.
11:45Yeah, well, you need to go floss because your breath smells like the owls of a penguin that
11:48was trapped in a cheese factory and that's all he ate his entire wife was cheese.
11:52Tyrone, stop, man.
11:52You need to go to bed before I tell your mom.
11:54Babe.
11:55Is Tyrone acting up?
11:56Yes, he is actually and he needs to go to bed.
11:58It's only because he won't let me play video games.
12:00Wait.
12:01Video games?
12:02I think I want to play video games.
12:03Okay, after I finish this part.
12:05And then you should let me play too.
12:06No, I already told you no.
12:08Did somebody say video games?
12:10No, Marjorie.
12:11Wait, I want to try.
12:12Come on, let me play.
12:13I want to play video games.
12:14Babe, I just want to take the controller and I want to play video games for a little bit.
12:17I can't wait until my Wheel Dad comes back from the grocery store.
12:17He will let me play video games.
12:19Please, guys, I was having a peaceful time.
12:20Please, hand me the controller, babe.
12:21I can tell by the way you glance at me that you want to rotisserie my chicken.
12:26Okay, that's it.
12:26You guys can have it.
12:27I don't even want to play no more.
12:29How was your first day of football practice?
12:32Holy smokes, my house is thirsty.
12:36I was running out on the field and then...
12:39Hey, man, why are you drinking like that?
12:42Because I'm thirsty as hell.
12:43So we were running on the field and then...
12:46Tyrone, chill out.
12:50Tell your story first, then drink.
12:52Okay, so there I was running on the field and then...
12:56Okay, I don't even want to know anymore.
13:00No, you have to hear this.
13:02Okay, so I was running on the field and then my house was...
13:08Okay, let's see.
13:16If I jump at a 90 degree angle and I tuck my wags, I should be able to...
13:22Tyrone, what are you doing?
13:24I'm about to do the world's first ever double front flip from one countertop to another countertop.
13:30That's not the world's first and you better not jump.
13:32I'm going to do something really cool.
13:34You better not.
13:35Up and away.
13:36Ouch!
13:37See, man, I told you not to do something stupid.
13:39You always got to learn the hard way.
13:40No, I'm not.
13:43I'm not even hurt.
13:44You got the world's biggest knot on your head.
13:46Man, go put some ice on it and go sit down somewhere.
13:48No, just give me a chance.
13:49I think I can do it.
13:50No, you better not.
13:52Up, up and away.
13:53Ouch!
13:54Oh, crap.
13:56Okay, maybe third time's the choice.
13:58No!
14:00What in the hot owls do you think you're doing?
14:02Your owls isn't even a handyman.
14:04Look at your weak owls, raggedy owls formed.
14:06You actually have to get under there and use some muscles.
14:09Tyrone, would you stop?
14:10I'm trying to fix the sink that you clogged.
14:12Yeah, well, you're doing a terrible job.
14:14Stop, man, get out.
14:15Why are you even in here?
14:16Because I want to see my mom's crusty owls with a boyfriend and prove that he's not a plumber.
14:20You think you could do better?
14:22Hell yes.
14:22Cool.
14:23Come on.
14:24Go ahead.
14:24Get under there.
14:25Fix it.
14:26All you have to do is connect the socket wrench to the little quickie fingie and then...
14:31Hell yeah.
14:34My house is going to play video games.
14:36Uh-uh.
14:36You didn't finish your chores.
14:37Tyrone, go back downstairs and do the dishes first.
14:39Jeez, Louise.
14:40You're always sipping on hater juice.
14:42Fine.
14:43No.
14:46Okay, they're all done.
14:47I'm going to play video games now.
14:48Nah, man.
14:49That was way too quick.
14:49Did you take out the trash?
14:51Holy smokes.
14:51If it's not one thing, it's another.
14:54Fine.
14:54Oh.
14:57Okay, finally.
14:58All of my chores are done.
15:00Tyrone, how are you getting up and down the stairs so fast?
15:02With my secret warrior grappling hook.
15:04Yeah, don't do that anymore.
15:06That's dangerous.
15:06Oh, wow.
15:07That looks fun, Tyrone.
15:08I want to try.
15:09No, Marjorie.
15:11Oh, how we smokes?
15:13Tyrone, she didn't have your grappling hook, did she?
15:15Um.
15:18Yeah, call the ambulance.
15:21Tyrone, I know you're not jumping on that bed.
15:23It's a hotel, so we can do whatever the hell we want.
15:25No, that's not true.
15:26Get down.
15:26My real dad's at the grocery store, but when he comes back, he's going to kick your ass for not waiting me have fun.
15:30Tyrone, get down.
15:31Babe, there are so many shampoos we could steal from the bathroom.
15:34Why would you steal shampoo?
15:35Because it's a hotel.
15:37That shouldn't matter.
15:41I'm breaking all the windows.
15:43Marjorie.
15:43It doesn't matter.
15:44It's a hotel.
16:05It's time to go on an adventure.
16:17Can you say adventure?
16:18Adventure.
16:19I did.
16:20Can you say adventure?
16:28What the?
16:29What?
16:29I got a kid's meal toy.
16:37I got a kid's meal toy.
16:38My house got a kid's meal toy.
16:39I got a kid's meal toy.
16:40I got a kid's meal toy.
16:41My house got a kid's meal toy.
16:42I'm still ordering.
16:44Okay, yeah, let me get a, uh...
16:46Excuse me, sir.
16:47Oh, no.
16:50Dad, I want a kid's meal toy.
16:51My son wants a kid's meal toy, too.
16:53I don't care.
16:53Then freaking go order him one.
16:55Dad, his son took the one that I wanted.
16:58He wants the one that your son has.
16:59Sir, I don't care.
17:00Who is this snot-nosed kid over here bothering my daddy?
17:03Definitely someone who needs their house kicked.
17:04Good to add, this isn't fair.
17:06One more kid's meal toy.
17:07One more kid's meal?
17:08No, not one more kid's meal.
17:09Okay, hold on, sir.
17:11Meet me in front of the car.
17:12Kids, wait here.
17:12Chris, wait here.
17:13Hold on, Tyrone.
17:14I'm gonna drag that kid through this window.
17:16Hell yeah.
17:16Well, Boogie, let's get him.
17:17Sir, you need to get another toy.
17:18No, no, no.
17:19Your kid is not my responsibility.
17:20No, he wants another toy.
17:21Chris!
17:24My girlfriend's gonna be spending tonight,
17:26so you should just weave us alone.
17:28No, she's not.
17:28As a matter of fact, little girl, you need to go home.
17:30My name isn't little girl.
17:31It's Abagatha Galorian the Great,
17:33so you should just call me Abagatha Galorian the Great.
17:35Who do you think you are talking to my daddy like that?
17:37Okay, well, Abagatha, I'm not even gonna try to pronounce your name.
17:41I'm gonna have my girlfriend take you home.
17:42Tyrone, watch La Boogie.
17:44Nobody cares what your name is.
17:46My name is La Matty on the Boogie to the Queen,
17:48and nobody disrespects my daddy.
17:50Well, Boogie, you better stop talking to my girlfriend like that.
17:52Tyrone, you of all people should know she don't want these problems.
17:55Little girl, I'm not scared of you because I'm a dragon.
17:57Okay, I see you're somebody who needs to go unless it's the one when I get out of my head.
18:02What's all that noise out here?
18:03Yo, who broke my window?
18:05Tyrone, your little girlfriend's not allowed no more
18:07because she's out here breaking windows.
18:09Okay, perfect way to start your day.
18:14Come on, what are you doing?
18:16Get out of the freezer and get out of my office.
18:17I'm obviously taking an ice bath,
18:19and the ice keeps melting in my bathtub,
18:21so I have to do it right here.
18:23Get out.
18:23You're not doing that, and stop wasting all my ice.
18:26It's not going to waste.
18:27Do you even know the health benefits of doing an ice bath?
18:30I don't care.
18:30Get out or I'm gonna tell your mom.
18:33That's it.
18:34Jada!
18:35Yeah, babe, what's up?
18:36What are you doing in there?
18:37I'm doing a cold plunge, but Tyrone already called the freezer.
18:39That's why.
18:40It's amazing health benefits.
18:42I'm gonna go swimming.
18:43I'm gonna go swimming.
18:44No, you're not.
18:44I'm gonna go swimming in a swimming pool.
18:45I'm gonna go swimming.
18:46No, you're not.
18:47Tyrone, you need to log on and do your schoolwork.
18:49School can kiss my house because it's online.
18:50Tyrone, stop and you need to watch your mouth.
18:52You're not my real dad.
18:53Did somebody say we're gonna go swimming?
18:55No, I did.
18:56Marjorie, please go put some clothes on too.
18:58I know you want a pumpkin spice my latte.
19:00Sweetie, your boyfriend said he wants to dip his donut hole into my cold brew.
19:04Babe, stop flirting with my mother.
19:06You know what?
19:06I'm not dealing with it.
19:07You guys do whatever you want.
19:08I'm gonna swim with my grandma.
19:09I'm gonna swim with my grandma.
19:11I'm gonna swim with my grandma.
19:12Oh, holy smokes.
19:17The reason your house never gains any muscle mass is because you don't have the proper
19:27balance of protein to starch ratio in your diet.
19:35You should increase your water intake.
19:37Did you know a camel could drink 53 gallons of water in three minutes?
19:41You're falling way behind.
19:43Get your weight up, little man.
19:47I know you want to see me do my yoga and get a good look at my bendability.
19:59Ouch, holy smokes.
20:01I just got bit by a mosquito.
20:03What you talking about?
20:03Let me see.
20:04Look at it.
20:04It's itchy as hell.
20:06Man, I don't think that's a mosquito bite.
20:08Nah, nah.
20:08Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:09That's me.
20:10That's what I do.
20:11What the?
20:12Nah, you know, it's just I don't like being dotted.
20:14You know what I'm saying?
20:15Like, that's on me.
20:16I got this long, like, needle straw thing.
20:18Stick it in the skin.
20:18Bop.
20:19Drink up.
20:19Mmm, that's blood delicious.
20:21Everyone get in the car.
20:22Holy smokes, unlock the door.
20:24Unlock the door.
20:25Holy smokes.
20:26Holy moly.
20:26Unlock it.
20:27Unlock it.
20:28You
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