00:00I don't wanna say, kumusta ka?
00:07When was that when I called you? I was thinking about you. I just called and I said,
00:11wala lang, naiisip lang kita.
00:13Yes, I know. I know. First, when mom passed.
00:17And then, I think the day before you went to...
00:22I don't know. I just...
00:24Naalala lang kita sa nabi ko.
00:26Yeah, and then I said, I just want to call you and just tell you that I'm here.
00:30I'm sorry that Ricky passed.
00:34It's very nice and comforting when people call you and just tell you how you are,
00:40or I'm here, or...
00:45It doesn't remove the pain, but it gives us a little comfort
00:51to know that we are being thought of.
00:54You are thinking of mom, or you're thinking of Ricky.
01:00So, it's a gift when people call and just say that they're there.
01:06Like what you did to me.
01:08Thank you. At saka, napakahirap.
01:10And I wanted to share this experience sa ating mga kaibigan na nanonood.
01:13Dahil napakahirap maghanap ng tamang mga salita.
01:16And minsan, ito yung mga pagkakataon po when less words are more comforting.
01:22Yes.
01:23Kasi na naranasan ko yung nung pumanaw ang nanay, yung paulit-ulit kang tatanungin kung...
01:29Opa, paano nangyari?
01:30Paano nangyari?
01:32Sabi mo nga, kota ka na.
01:33Kota na ako, Tito Boy.
01:34Kota ka na sa heritage.
01:35Kota na ako.
01:36Kami ng mga bata.
01:38Correct.
01:39But, yes, you're correct.
01:41You know, when Ricky passed and people would come to us,
01:46those who have been in mommy's wake,
01:48they don't know what to say anymore.
01:51And I don't expect them to say anything.
01:53It's okay to be quiet.
01:54Yes!
01:55They just hold my hand and I know.
01:57It's like they're telling me,
01:58Oh my gosh, here we are again.
02:00I don't know how it is for you.
02:03But you know, hinihawakan lang yung kamiko.
02:05And...
02:06Jackie, 20 days.
02:08I know.
02:09To death.
02:10I know.
02:11Ang katanungan,
02:12how are you coping?
02:14I don't know.
02:16By God's grace.
02:18And I understand.
02:19By God's love.
02:20I take it a day at a time,
02:21which is the same thing I tell my children.
02:23Let's take it a day at a time.
02:25There will be a day when we're okay,
02:27the next day we're not okay,
02:28and it's okay.
02:29Because there are no shortcuts to grief.
02:32You know that, Tito Boy,
02:33when you lost your nanay.
02:35Yeah.
02:36But for me,
02:37I think it was harder because my brain couldn't process
02:41that I lost mom,
02:43and then now I've lost Ricky.
02:46It's like...
02:48There are days I'm thinking of mom and crying for mom,
02:52and then after a while I'm crying for Ricky
02:54and crying for my children
02:56because I know how hard it is for them,
02:58and how hard it will be for a long time.
03:02So,
03:03hindi ma one plus one equals two ng utak ko
03:06that I've lost two loved ones.
03:08I get that.
03:09Kaya napaka-logical nung tanong kung
03:11how are you coping?
03:13Yes.
03:14Nabago ba ang iyong pananaw ngayon
03:17with this experience
03:19sa death?
03:21Are you more afraid?
03:23Are you less afraid?
03:24When you come to think about it?
03:26What I've realized is
03:30when you lose a loved one,
03:34even with my situation with Ricky,
03:37what is left is just love.
03:40I don't think of the not-so-good times,
03:45I don't think of anything else,
03:48but what lasts pala talaga is love,
03:51both for mom and Ricky.
03:53But I think I'm experiencing that more with Ricky
03:57because with mom I didn't have a separation of sorts,
04:00but with Ricky I did,
04:02although I'm happy that we got to a point where things were better.
04:07But pala, when there is death,
04:10all you remember is love.
04:12Yes.
04:13And love stays.
04:14And love stays.
04:15It may be a different kind of love,
04:16but it's love that stays.
04:18Right.
04:37Yeah.
04:38Before I go to fiction.
04:42Just until then.
04:43Good bit.
04:47Bye.
04:49Yeah!
04:54Yeah!
04:59All right!
05:03Yeah, yeah!
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