00:05Barnaby Balderston-Brown, head of BAFTA and team leader of the BAFTA Be Better Committee.
00:10I was told there was an Alan coming.
00:13I am Alan coming.
00:14Yes, indeed. Now, Alan arrived. Sorry about the letter on the chair. Our email's down.
00:19I know what this is about. You've nominated Lala as best canine co-host of a competition reality show, haven't you?
00:25That isn't a category.
00:26Well, it should be.
00:27Look, you're a busy-ish man, so I'll cut to the chase.
00:31We at BAFTA, for this year's Television Awards, would like you to be the forward-facing face of talent, audience communication and brand advocacy.
00:39You mean you want me to host?
00:41Pretty sure that's what I just said.
00:43Wow, thanks so much. Me hosting the BAFTAs, that'll be like the 12th biggest honour of my life.
00:50Congratulations. But that's enough celebrating. We don't want to get over-emotional.
00:54To make it official, you need to take the oath.
00:57Status on.
00:58The BAFTA's oath. Let us begin.
01:00One. Do you swear that should someone's speech go on for too long, you will be willing to cut them off regardless of status or...
01:07I do. Thank you, Barnaby. Let's move on to the next award.
01:10Unnatural. That's exactly what an actual TV presenter would say.
01:14I am an actual TV presenter.
01:17Of course you are. Two. And this is a big one. Do you swear that none of your outfits will suffer a wardrobe malfunction?
01:24I do. To the best of my ability, but you know, whatever pops out pops out.
01:29Alan, it's absolutely essential that if it pops out, you pop it back in immediately.
01:33And finally, do you swear?
01:36Do I swear what?
01:39No. Do you swear? We can't abide swearing at the BAFTAs.
01:42I swear not to swear.
01:44Excellent.
01:45On stage, I will have the vocabulary of a nun.
01:47Off stage, I'll be more like a trucker.
01:49I didn't hear that.
01:50I said, on stage, I will have the vocab...
01:53What an amusing cross-purposes we find ourselves at.
01:58Well, congratulations, Alan. You are now officially the host of the BAFTA 2025 Television Awards.
02:06Yay!
02:07Happy murdering. I mean, hosting.
02:09Well, could be both. Let's see what plans out.
02:12And now that we own you, you are contractually obliged to wear this.
02:18A second costume change before the show has even begun?
02:21Don't mind if I do.
02:23Please welcome your host for this evening, Alan Cummings.
