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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:03On tonight's show, out by O'Dellie, Brad Sherwood.
00:08What's more into the preach, dear friends?
00:10Wayne Brady.
00:11Something's rotten in the state of Colin Mochrie.
00:14And let me play the fool.
00:16Ryan Stiles!
00:18And I'm your host, Drew Garret.
00:19Right now, it's all some fun.
00:26Whoa.
00:30Good evening.
00:33Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:35The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:37That's right.
00:38Points are like TV Guide on your wedding night.
00:42But if you're lucky, they don't matter.
00:44If you've never seen a show before, what happens is these guys are going to come up
00:47and they're going to make everything up for you right off the top of their heads.
00:49And then after every game, we give them points.
00:50I don't know why.
00:51It's a little gag we had left over from the show when I was in England.
00:54At the end of the show, we picked a winner.
00:57The winner gets to do a little something special.
00:58And the loser gets to sell their kidney on eBay.
01:03Let's start the show off with a game called Superheroes.
01:05This is for all four of you.
01:07Brad, you're going to start.
01:08And Ryan, Colin, and Wayne, you're going to join them
01:09and read the name of each other as they come in.
01:12What we need from the audience is a suggestion for the name of an unlikely superhero.
01:16Suicide Boy!
01:17Suicide Boy, okay.
01:21They want it so bad, I hate to deny them.
01:23They all want it.
01:25They were on the bus on the way over.
01:26We're going to do Suicide Boy.
01:29So, what kind of crisis does Suicide Boy have to deal with?
01:34Tight underwear?
01:35Okay.
01:38Suicide Boy, there's tight underwear all over the world.
01:41What are we going to do?
01:42Oh, what a miserable day.
01:52Sweet propane, take me away.
01:53Oh, Dillon Thomas.
02:03Oh, Sylvia Plath.
02:08This isn't working.
02:10It's an electric stove.
02:11Oh, you're still here.
02:17I thought I'd come over and grab your stereo, but you're still alive.
02:22Thank God you're here, yodeling pogo stick man.
02:25Everyone's underwear is too tight in the world, including mine.
02:36I thought you were just happy to see me.
02:37I hurried over as quickly as I could.
02:42Oh, Captain Bloodloss.
02:51That's really depressing.
02:53I wish I were brave enough to do it that way.
02:57Sorry I'm late.
02:59Oh, thank God you're here, cowboy stunt rider.
03:05What can I do for you?
03:06Woo-hoo!
03:12Woo!
03:16Woo!
03:18Woo!
03:19Woo!
03:28Woo!
03:29Woo!
03:29Right next time.
03:30Woo-hoo!
03:30Here is my rope.
03:31Hey, I don't know what we'll do.
03:34We'll just take a little bit of this rope and stretch it in everyone's underwear, and they'll
03:37all be big.
03:39That's a solution.
03:41A little, a little, a little.
03:41See you guys later.
03:42I'm going to go ride me this filly over here.
03:44Woo!
03:45Woo!
03:46Woo!
03:47Woo!
03:49I'm going to try clot.
04:03Well, I got to go, hee-hee, oh, hee-hee.
04:06Next time, I'm actually going to get a bogo stick.
04:17That was great.
04:19A thousand points.
04:20You know, it's good to know that if trouble rears its ugly head, Captain Bloodloss will
04:23be there.
04:25Let's go on to a game called Film, TV, and Theater Styles.
04:30This is for Ryan and Colin.
04:31They're going to act out a scene.
04:32I'm going to make them adapt different styles of film, TV, or theater.
04:36And what I need for the audience is those film, theater, and TV styles.
04:39Porno!
04:40Porno!
04:41Okay.
04:42What kind of movie?
04:43I'm done with a game.
04:44A game of sports re- play.
04:46A game of sports re- play.
04:47Sports replay.
04:48Okay.
04:49OK.
04:50Oh, to the beach and John, Richard Simmons.
04:51What kind of movie?
04:52trailer, scary movies.
04:53Scary.
04:54What kind of movie?
04:55Scary.
04:56Scary movies.
04:57We got a lot here.
04:59We'll never get through them.
04:59Okay, here we go.
05:00Here's the scene.
05:03Ryan and Colin are two high-strung poodle owners
05:05competing against each other in a national dog show.
05:11Start up normal,
05:12and I'll bring you in with the other styles in a minute.
05:14Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
05:17Ah, ah, ah, ah.
05:18You keep that poodle away from me.
05:25Excuse me.
05:26My poodle is...
05:27was grand champion.
05:29Well, now it's time for Fluffy to take the crown.
05:32Oh, really?
05:33Cheech and Chong.
05:36Put the puppy on the floor.
05:37Let it go.
05:43No, don't eat the puppy.
05:44No.
05:46No.
05:48Richard Simmons.
05:52You can't eat puppy and expect to lose weight.
05:55What do you mean?
05:56Get up here and work with me.
05:58Time to sweat with the Goldie Retrievers.
06:02And heel and heel and two and three and four and four.
06:06You're doing good.
06:07You're doing good.
06:08You're good.
06:08You're good.
06:09You're good.
06:09You're good.
06:09You're good.
06:12Puppets.
06:18You're dog can hardly walk at all.
06:23I'm tired, you know.
06:35Puppet room.
06:36And that's how we move in different directions.
06:42Well, it's time to see who's out there to judge our dogs.
06:45Oh, those are a lot of judges.
06:51Well, judges are good.
06:57Sports replay.
07:01Let's see that again.
07:02I give you points, but Colin's really starting to believe in him.
07:26So, uh, we're going to skip that part.
07:30Move on to a game called Props.
07:31This is for all of you.
07:33Ryan and Colin.
07:36That's your prop.
07:38Brad and Wayne.
07:40That's your prop.
07:42The idea is they got to come up with as many ideas as they can with these props going back
07:45and forth, starting with Ryan and Colin.
07:47I'll buzz them in between these ideas.
07:48Go ahead.
07:48Start.
07:49I am a smoker.
07:50How did you know that?
07:51As your rabbi, I want you to come to temple.
07:59I really had to work out to get the stomach.
08:03Go, go, gadget feet.
08:09You're looking kind of down, Tim.
08:14Man, I'm tired of cleaning the giant shower drain.
08:17Hurry up.
08:21You're not Rapunzel.
08:25I've only got one jerry curl left over from the 80s.
08:30My judgment is a shell hang from the gallows.
08:35The wonderful thing about Tiggers.
08:37And Tigger, the wonderful thing.
08:38The Yoltsy-Voltsy.
08:41Get out of my yard.
08:46I feel kind of bleh.
08:48Not this time, Indiana Jones.
08:59All right, we'll be right back with our Who's Line Is It Anyway?
09:01Let's go away.
09:07Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
09:09Well, that was close.
09:10We just almost barely got the keg out of here.
09:12Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
09:17The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
09:18That's right, the points are like an epilady in France.
09:24Okay, let's move on to the game called Motown Group.
09:28For Brad, Wayne, and Ryan.
09:29Let's have from the audience a suggestion of an everyday activity they do.
09:46Brought to your teeth.
09:49Okay, you guys are going to do this hit song, the hit Motown hit.
09:53Do the toothbrush.
09:54With Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
09:55You're each going to sing a verse.
09:56So whenever you're ready, go ahead and start.
10:06Oh, now this song, it takes me way, way back
10:10Back to my bathroom where I'd use this to get rid of flack
10:16Oh, gingivitis might make you sick
10:21So I think you want to use a water pick
10:24Do the toothbrush.
10:28Oh, yeah, gang
10:29Come on!
10:31I brush my teeth, so don't you know I ain't dumb
10:35He ain't dumb
10:36And when I'm done with my dick
10:39I take the bristles right across my gum
10:41Oh, sometimes I think
10:45Why do I bother?
10:47I keep them in a big glass of water
10:50They ain't real
10:51They're going right out
10:54Well, make sure that your teeth aren't at a loss
10:59So grab on that little rope and do a little floss
11:03Oh, baby
11:03You're going to excite us
11:07Oh, so keep on brushing all your teeth
11:10And you'll go so you'll get jizzled battered
11:13So, baby, baby, do a toothbrush
11:16Hey, hey, hey, hey, yo
11:18Come do the toothbrush
11:19All right, everybody
11:20It's a brand new dance with your finger
11:22Come on!
11:24Now put it in your mouth
11:25Hey, do your toothbrush
11:28Hey, come on!
11:35Hey, do the tooth
11:41Do the toothpaste
11:47Do the toothbrush
11:51Hey, do it!
11:53Thank you!
11:54Oh, man, I see a new dance craze
12:11We've been in the nation
12:12That's what I see
12:12That's going to catch on in all the clubs
12:14Oh, man, I'm telling you
12:15All right
12:16Here we go
12:1610,000 points for all of you
12:18For that was great
12:19Woo-hoo!
12:19This is my favorite part
12:20And a few kids watching home
12:21A few kids watching home
12:23Remember, the less homework you do
12:25And the closer you sit to the TV
12:26The more points you get
12:27Next, we're going to do
12:30The Millionaire Show
12:31This game called The Millionaire Show
12:34This is for Brad Ryan
12:35Colin, you're the guy on the phone
12:37Wayne, you're the guy up in the audience
12:39That he gets you
12:40The two lifelines
12:40Phone and audience
12:41What we're going to do
12:42Is instead of general knowledge questions
12:44We're going to have Brad ask Ryan
12:46About things from his personal life
12:48And what I'm going to do from the audience
12:49Is an area of Ryan's life
12:51That these questions are about
12:52Bedroom
12:53Bedroom, okay, sex life
12:55Brad, whenever you're ready
12:59Start the show
13:00Hello, people
13:02And welcome to The Millionaire Show
13:03I am so excited to be here today
13:07To try and give away
13:07One million dollars
13:09Now this little genius
13:10Smarty pants right next to me
13:11Has answered all but three questions
13:13On his way to one million dollars
13:15So, why don't you tell everybody
13:16What your name is
13:17And what you do for a living
13:19I'm Jim Phillips
13:19I have multiple personalities
13:21I'm also a skin diver
13:22A puppeteer
13:23And I was the tenth president
13:24Of the United States
13:25That's terrific, Jim
13:27All right
13:28I have lots of amphetamines
13:30Rushing through my system
13:31Right now
13:31I'm just so pleased to be anywhere
13:34Without Kathy Lee Crosby
13:35Okay
13:35Whatever
13:38Whatever her name is
13:39Is that my first question?
13:41No, it's not
13:42All right
13:43For $250,000
13:44This is about
13:45Your life in the bedroom
13:46Your wife
13:47Makes you dress up
13:48Like one of the Teletubbies
13:50It's the tallest purple one
13:52Is that Teletubby
13:53A
13:54Tinky Winky
13:56B
13:57Richard Nixon
13:58C
14:00Thor
14:01God of Thunder
14:02Or D
14:04A jar of almonds
14:06It's just too crazy
14:10It could be true
14:11I would say
14:11D
14:12A jar of almonds
14:13Is that your final answer?
14:15Yes
14:16That is my final answer
14:17I'll ask you one more time
14:17Is that your final answer?
14:18No
14:19I'll change it to
14:19Tinky Winky
14:20Oh
14:22All right
14:24So your final answer
14:26Is Tinky Winky
14:27Oh
14:27I'm so sorry
14:29That's your answer
14:29That's such a shame
14:31You came all the way
14:31To New York
14:32To get the answer right
14:33My goodness
14:40Goodness
14:40This is exciting isn't it?
14:43Good guts
14:44All right
14:44This is for 500,000
14:46You ready for this next one?
14:47I am ready
14:48All right
14:48This question is about
14:50Foreplay in your bedroom
14:52Now
14:53The first thing you use is
14:54A
14:55A feather
14:56B
14:57Massage balm
14:59C
15:00Richard Nixon
15:01D
15:03A jar of almonds
15:04I think I'm going to have to go up
15:10Into the crowd
15:11All right
15:12You're going to use one of your lifelines
15:14Yes
15:14I'd like to ask my twin brother
15:15Jimmy for help here
15:16Jimmy
15:18Hey
15:18I need help
15:19I'm going with the almonds again
15:20Unless you can talk me out of it
15:22Hey wait a minute
15:23What do you use in the bedroom?
15:25Richard Nixon
15:26I have to ask you for your answer
15:30This is for 500,000 dollars
15:34Richard Nixon sounds good
15:35But I'm going to go with D
15:37A jar of almonds
15:37Oh dude
15:38Just ask
15:39It's not your final answer
15:41It is my final answer
15:42A jar of almonds is your final answer
15:44Oh
15:44It's such a shame
15:45We tape this show
15:47We waste all this time
15:48To try and give you away
15:49All that money
15:50And then you say
15:50A jar of almonds
15:51Which is the right answer
15:52It is the right answer
15:53It is the right answer
15:53I knew it was
15:54Can I put him up at all
15:55I'm so excited
15:57What's going on here
15:58All right Tim
15:58This is the one million dollar question
16:01Are you ready to answer this question?
16:03I am ready indeed
16:04If you get this right
16:05I'll give you a million dollars
16:06And I'll show you some loving
16:08Like you've never seen
16:09Here is the question
16:12It's a trick question
16:13Is the answer to this question
16:17A
16:18B
16:20B
16:21C
16:23C
16:24A
16:25Or D
16:26D
16:26Boy I hope I get this right
16:29I could really use that loving
16:31I'm going to have to phone someone
16:34You're going to use your lifeline
16:36And phone someone
16:37Call out what you want
16:38I want to phone someone
16:39All right Tim
16:40Hello
16:44Harry
16:44Hi
16:45Hi I'm on the show
16:46With the guy
16:47Oh
16:47I need some help
16:48Who is this?
16:52It's your dad
16:53Oh dad hi
16:54Hi
16:54How's everything at school?
16:56Fine
16:56Good
16:57Have you been studying your math
16:58And your letters?
17:01For God's sake dad
17:02I'm 34
17:02Okay look
17:05Here are the answers
17:06I need your help
17:07Is it A-C-B-A
17:10C-B-R-D-D
17:13Oh wait
17:13Is this a trick question?
17:14Yeah it is
17:15The answer is meat
17:16Meat
17:16Meat
17:17What letter is that?
17:18Jimmy hello
17:18Jimmy
17:19Oh I'm sorry
17:20I had to cut you off
17:22Because I was dying to listen to you talk
17:24Now you have to answer
17:27You can also go off the board
17:28For your fifth answer
17:29E
17:30Of course
17:31Jar of almonds
17:31Now
17:32What is your answer to this question?
17:35D was D
17:35D was D
17:36I'm going to have to say D
17:38Are you sure
17:39That your final answer is D?
17:42No it's A
17:43Are you sure?
17:46I want to take C on this one
17:48So if you're saying your answer is C
17:51That means the answer is B
17:52Is that what you're saying?
17:53Which one of the jar of almonds?
17:55E
17:55Then I'm taking B
17:56Alright
17:57B is C
17:59C is not A though
18:01Yes it is
18:01I'll take A then
18:02Alright
18:03Is that your final answer?
18:05No I'm changing to A
18:07Alright your final answer is A
18:09Richard Nixon
18:10C it is
18:11Alright
18:11Is that your final answer?
18:14That is my final answer
18:15Alright well I'm
18:16I'm so sorry to tell you
18:17That you've wasted all of our time here today
18:19By choosing B
18:20But you won a million dollars
18:22No I'm not going to do it
18:23No I'm not going to do it
18:23No I'm not going to do it
18:24No I'm not going to do it
18:25Oh my god
18:26Alright we'll be right back
18:30And the winner is
18:30Don't go away
18:31Welcome back to Who's Line is in any way
18:40Tonight's winner
18:40These three guys out here
18:41Ryan, Colin, and Brad
18:42Are the winners
18:43Congratulations
18:43And the winners get to do
18:44Something with me
18:45And what we're going to do for you tonight
18:47Is a hoedown
18:48With help of Laura Hall
18:49On the piano
18:49Laura Hall
18:50What I need for the audience
18:55Is a suggestion of
18:56Something you hate about your relatives
18:57Oh family reunions
19:02You don't like
19:02Good one
19:04That's a good one
19:04Let's do the family reunion hoedown
19:07Take it away Laura
19:08Every family reunion
19:17Is such an awful night
19:19It's my whole family
19:21Getting in a fight
19:22Then later on
19:24They try and do a dance
19:26But it's not a family reunion
19:28Till my uncle drops his pants
19:30Don't like talking about my family
19:41No sirry Bob
19:43That's not the subject for me
19:45But let me ask you a question
19:47Tell me Jack
19:48Am I adopted
19:50Because the rest of my family is black
19:52A family reunion
20:09About which I'm about to sing
20:11Strange things are always happening
20:15I went to see my favorite uncle
20:17But he was not there
20:19He had an operation
20:20Now he is my Aunt Claire
20:22I want to see my relatives
20:32But don't you know it's not right
20:34Every time we get together
20:36All we do is fight
20:37I want to see my family
20:39But don't you know I can't
20:41We are from the South
20:43And my sister is my aunt
20:45My sister is my aunt
20:49Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway
20:58We're going to end the show tonight
20:59With Ryan and Colin
21:00Read the credits for you
21:01I want you to read the credits
21:02Like two baseball umpires
21:04Throwing players out of the game
21:05Good night everybody
21:06Thanks for watching
21:06See you next time
21:07Jimmy Mova you're out
21:12You can't grab yourself
21:13Get out right now
21:15You are out of here
21:17Two carries out of here
21:18You can't call people that
21:19Oh you're out of here
21:20You're out of here
21:21I don't want to tell you again
21:22You are out
21:24You are out of here
21:27I don't care how many
21:31You've hit
21:32I don't care
21:34Get out
21:35Oh my god
21:36You are out of here
21:37I will
21:38I will
21:38I will