Dave, Doni, and Casino Craps

Beasley Digital

8 months ago

Transcript

00:00I stopped the casino the other night, well, a couple of times.

00:05Last weekend when you had a three-day mini-vacay.

00:08Yes, absolutely.

00:09So driving out to South Haven Fire Keepers in Battle Creek is right there in the middle.

00:14Right.

00:14So we stopped.

00:16I did lose $150, but then coming back, I won $470.

00:22Let's just round it off to $500.

00:23$500 sounds better.

00:24So you won $500 on your three-day vacation weekend.

00:27I hope you pay for the vacation.

00:28It was great.

00:29And you don't have to deduct the $150 you lost.

00:31I agree.

00:33I should not.

00:34I did kind of look at it like, okay, let me pull this money off to the side.

00:38So really it was like $350.

00:39But then I was like, you know what?

00:41Now that money was already gone.

00:42They say that the past is the past.

00:45Yes.

00:45And this is probably not right.

00:48But if you go to the casino on Saturday.

00:52Okay.

00:52And you lose $1,000.

00:54Okay.

00:54And then you go back to the casino on Sunday.

00:57And you win $1,200.

01:00Right.

01:01In my world, in the real world, you won $200 in the real world.

01:06Because you lost $1,000.

01:07Then you won $1,200.

01:08So you're up $200.

01:09In my world, you're up $1,200.

01:12You won $1,200.

01:13I would agree with that.

01:14Right.

01:14Because whatever happened the day before, it's like behind you.

01:16Like you don't think about it.

01:17Like you block it out.

01:18Like I didn't lose $1,000.

01:19I didn't have it.

01:21I mean, so you do that until it goes away forever.

01:24And then you're like, oh, sweet.

01:25I didn't lose $1,000 18 hours ago.

01:28I just won $1,200 two minutes ago.

01:30Gaming or gambling totally pays off.

01:32Speaking of the casino.

01:36Yeah.

01:37I haven't been to the casino in a while.

01:39But whenever I go to the casino.

01:43Well, A, I always bring a jacket.

01:45Because it gets cold in there sometimes.

01:46I say they got the good air.

01:48Well, no, it's good.

01:49I'd rather have it too cold.

01:50Because they got the air.

01:50Like you're not tired.

01:51You could be drag and tail.

01:53You walk through those doors.

01:54You are wide awake, friend.

01:55There's like extra oxygen in the environment of the casino.

01:59It's amazing.

02:00No, that's true.

02:01But if you're sitting at a blackjack table for three, four, five, six hours straight.

02:05I don't want you getting hot.

02:06I don't want you sweating.

02:07And I'll sometimes stay for five hours straight.

02:09Wow.

02:10You know, at a table.

02:11Well, it can get kind of cold.

02:12So, you know, you might want to put a light jacket on.

02:14Smart.

02:14But the light jacket also has a big side pocket where I always have an extra pair of underpants

02:19in my jacket pocket.

02:22Because sometimes when I go to the casino, now it only happened once.

02:26Okay.

02:26You don't even know where my head is going where I'm like, are you not getting up from

02:30the table in those five hours, Dave?

02:32No, no.

02:32I'm getting up.

02:33Okay.

02:33Like once we play through a whole shoot, then I race to the bathroom and I pee and I come

02:37back.

02:37Okay.

02:37But one time I went to the casino and I went to the buffet before I started playing and

02:42I had prime rep and I think it was a little too lean because I was at the blackjack table

02:52and all of a sudden it's like, I thought I had to fart.

02:56Right.

02:57But it wasn't.

02:58There was more going on there.

02:59It was more than a fart.

03:01Than you anticipated.

03:01And I was like, oh crap.

03:03Did I just.

03:05Yeah.

03:05I was like, oh.

03:06So I'm like.

03:07That did not feel very lucky in that moment.

03:09Excuse me, everyone.

03:09I'll be back in a moment.

03:12And, you know, I left my chips and my beer at the table and I went to the bathroom and

03:16I was like, oh, what a mess.

03:18Oh my God.

03:19So ever since then you carry an extra pair of underpants.

03:21So yeah.

03:22So anyway, in the bathroom, I won't get into the gory details, but I just, I threw my underwear

03:28away.

03:28I don't blame you.

03:29Clean.

03:29And what else can you do at that point?

03:31You can't do anything.

03:31You can't.

03:32Right.

03:32You can't.

03:32Right.

03:33Thank God you had them on.

03:34Right.

03:35Heck yeah.

03:35Right.

03:35So I throw the underwear away, clean myself up, put my pants back on, no underwear, go

03:41back to the blackjack table, play for another three hours.

03:43Wow.

03:44So the next time I went to the casino, I thought to myself, you know, I always like to be prepared.

03:49I'm like, if that ever happens again, the prime rib's a little too lean.

03:54Right.

03:54I'm going to bring an extra pair of underpants in my jacket.

03:57No one will ever see it.

03:58No one will know it's there.

03:59And if I have an accident, I can go in the bathroom, throw my underpants away, put my

04:03new backup underpants on and go back to the table because I like wearing underpants.

04:07It's all making sense now.

04:09So, and I also, I also don't tell anybody this, have an extra pair of underpants in the glove

04:16box in my car.

04:18Just in case.

04:19Just in case.

04:20Yeah.

04:20This must have been very traumatizing.

04:22And I have an extra t-shirt in my glove box too.

04:25An extra t-shirt and an extra pair of underpants.

04:26Because like, you never know.

04:27What if I'm driving to work and I'm drinking a chocolate milkshake and milkshake spills all

04:32over the front of my shirt.

04:33Right.

04:34Well, I don't want to walk around work all day with like, looking like a baby.

04:36Right.

04:37You know, I'm like, I just put my extra shirt on.

04:39And if I accidentally poop my pants, I got extra underwear.

04:42I got extra clean underpants right in the glove box.

04:45I think everyone.

04:52No, I really do.

04:53I don't understand why.

04:58Listen, I don't understand why.

05:00I mean, this is for real.

05:01I don't understand why everyone doesn't have an extra pair of underpants in their glove

05:05box.

05:05I mean, I really don't understand.

05:07Why would you not just throw an extra pair in your glove box?

05:10Every single person.

05:12You would think.

05:13I'm not the only one that sometimes accidentally poops my pants.

05:16I would hazard a guess that you are not.

05:20Having said that, it has never really run through my mind to be like, you know what

05:23I need to do?

05:24I need to keep an extra pair of underpants in my glove box.

05:27Why not?

05:28What not?

05:29You get some old crappy ones that you never wear.

05:30That's just sitting in your drawer and it's got to sit in your drawers.

05:33They could end up being your best friend.

05:34Throw them in your glove box.

05:35Right.

05:35Oh, and just for the record.

05:37Oh God.

05:38The prime rib blackjack poopy pants thing.

05:42Right.

05:42That was like 10 years ago.

05:44Never happened since then.

05:45And it's never happened since.

05:47It only happened one time.

05:48But.

05:48That's all you needed.

05:49If it ever did, I was prepared.

05:50For 10 years now.

05:51And hopefully it will never happen again.

05:52You've actually been preparing to poop your pants.

05:54I've been prepared if I poop my pants again.

05:59Oh God, Dave.

06:01You are.

06:03We gotta go.

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