A Caller Wants To Know How To Convince His Wife To Get A Boob Job
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00:00Alright, Therapy Thursday is on, and that means that we try and help you out,
00:04because talking it out actually is better than acting it out.
00:07You know, that's what we've learned.
00:08People who are out there who actually do this for a real job,
00:12regurgitate what you say, help you whittle through your thoughts.
00:16That's what we try and do here, without all the education.
00:19So you got Dr. Davi, you got Meredith M.D.,
00:21you got Orlando B.G.Y.N., dressed like an OBGYN.
00:24Yeah, you are.
00:25You look very professional.
00:27Davi asked me, what do you got to go to court?
00:29Yeah, that's always the first thing, because if Davi dresses up, we ask him.
00:33He got a wedding or he's going to court.
00:35One of them things, other than that is t-shirt.
00:38Alright, so 888-429-0941, you can call or you can text and get in on any query that you have.
00:45There's nothing too strange to ask us.
00:47Trust me, we discussed prison this morning.
00:49Yeah, at least.
00:50So let's see, I have one here that says Any Doc.
00:54And you only get 60 seconds, it's a 60 second session,
00:57because we did talk about that last week,
00:59because people keep, like, you know, adding to the story.
01:02Just give us the story, and then we'll give you a 60 second response.
01:06Go from there.
01:07Because other than that, you got to pay extra.
01:09Yeah.
01:09Okay.
01:10This says, Any Doc.
01:11My man and I argue about everything.
01:15Really, the only time that we're at peace is when we're, I'll say, hunting.
01:20Okay.
01:20Uh, it's not that we fight, but we just argue from little stuff to big stuff.
01:26And I need to know how to help us just do better.
01:30I don't want to be in a relationship where every single thing that comes out of my mouth
01:35or everything pisses me off that you say back and forth.
01:37I don't know if you're really meant to be with somebody where everything,
01:41everything is an argument day in and day out.
01:44That's just me personally.
01:45Don't you want to be in just a relationship where it's set on cruise control
01:48and you can just live and somebody respects you for your opinion and vice versa?
01:53That's not reality.
01:53I think a big thing in this situation is you don't always have to be right
01:58and you don't always have to say the last word.
02:01Sometimes just let them have it.
02:03Yeah.
02:03And hopefully-
02:04That's the big one right there.
02:05That goes both ways.
02:06Yes.
02:06Absolutely.
02:07100%.
02:07It goes both ways.
02:08But hopefully that'll rub off on your partner as well.
02:10That's good advice right there.
02:12Because like sometimes, the last word and you don't have to be right.
02:16Because sometimes you might not be right.
02:17Right.
02:17For sure.
02:18So just, why don't you just take a mulligan sometime?
02:20Especially if you say there's little stuff to big stuff.
02:23Pick your battles.
02:24Yeah.
02:24You know what I mean?
02:25You ain't got-
02:26I mean, ain't nothing wrong with arguing either.
02:27Arguing is this and that nothing but aggravated debate.
02:29When it's important.
02:30You don't-
02:30Yeah.
02:31It's a debate.
02:32It don't sound like she said they ain't fighting.
02:33Okay.
02:34Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
02:34They just argue.
02:36I know people personally looking at Davi.
02:39He likes to debate.
02:40I do.
02:40Big and small.
02:42And I-
02:43Not that you do this all the time,
02:44but I can only imagine being with a person where it's everything is a debate.
02:49Everything.
02:49And if it doesn't go that person's way,
02:51then it escalates into an argument for this certain situation for this texter.
02:56So I don't know if I would be in a relationship where everything is like that.
02:59You can improve yourself, but that's a learned behavior,
03:01and who knows if they're going to improve over time.
03:03There you go.
03:03I got one from Meredith at the 863.
03:06It says-
03:06Oh, sweet Meredith.
03:07Sweet, sweet Meredith.
03:08Sweet, sweet Meredith.
03:08It says,
03:09I recently married.
03:11We're going on seven months,
03:12but we've been together for six years.
03:14I recently found out between that time from a family member on his side
03:18that he was sleeping with an ex a few years ago.
03:21Mind you, this was over three years ago.
03:24I definitely feel some type of way about it now,
03:26but then again, we are married now.
03:28Should I bring this up?
03:29It's making me feel like our relationship has been a lie.
03:32Hell yeah, you're going to be-
03:33Hell yeah, I'm bringing that up.
03:35What, just because you're married now,
03:36it negates everything you did beforehand?
03:38No.
03:39Does it matter, though?
03:40It does to me, 100%.
03:42Does it matter?
03:42Like, I mean, as far as you, like, you know, you're married to him now.
03:45You're asking my opinion?
03:47Absolutely, it matters to me,
03:48and we have to talk about it,
03:49because I'm never, ever going to get past this.
03:53I'm going to have issues with trust
03:54unless we talk it out thoroughly,
03:57and I understand exactly what happened.
03:59Okay, can we look at it this way,
04:00just as far as, like, if you take a job,
04:03a new job,
04:04and you have, like, this,
04:07you had an old job,
04:09but, like, you just got the, like,
04:11probationary period going with the new job,
04:14and so maybe you still go back to your old job
04:17just to kind of see your old coworkers-
04:19If we were in a committed relationship-
04:21And everything else.
04:22It's like, it's kind of like that, though.
04:23It's like, you know, like,
04:24he was kicking the tires trying to see if,
04:27yo, I'm going to stay with this girl,
04:28because I still got this.
04:29But then he quit it and said,
04:31you know what, I'm going to commit to this,
04:32and now y'all have made it to three years of marriage.
04:35You know what I'm saying?
04:35So he-
04:36I can't not bring it up.
04:37It's just going to fly out of my mouth.
04:39I don't think, remember we said,
04:40like, pick your battles?
04:41I think this is something you don't,
04:42I think this is something you don't need to bring up.
04:45Yeah, because it's convenient for him
04:47to not have to deal with what he did.
04:50But now I have to deal with it mentally
04:51and physically every single day?
04:53Do you have to deal with it, though?
04:53You can just put it away.
04:54No, I can't just keep that in a box and lock it up.
04:57Me, personally, we're going to have to talk it out.
05:00I can't ignore that, ever.
05:01Dr. Davi, you up next.
05:03Okay.
05:03Dr. Davi, how do I get my grown-ass brother
05:06slash roommate to clean
05:08and move out by a date before November?
05:12Oh, my God.
05:12My fiance and I need our space
05:15and especially a clean house.
05:17I ask him, and he just decides
05:19that he's staying until November,
05:20even though we've agreed on July
05:22when he moved in.
05:24I don't want to kick family to the curb
05:27with an eviction,
05:28but I need my space
05:29and I need cleanliness.
05:32You have to set an ultimatum.
05:34I'm not big on ultimatums in relationships,
05:36but in something like this
05:37where you have a third party,
05:39a third wheel,
05:40somebody interfering
05:41with what you and your significant other
05:43are trying to build,
05:44you have to set a solid date
05:46and then help him out
05:47and then check in on that date.
05:49Hey, how's it looking?
05:50Do you need help finding apartments?
05:51Are you able to save money?
05:53How's your job?
05:54Countdown on, boy.
05:55Yeah, the countdown's on,
05:56but you can't just let this linger for forever
06:00because in July, it'll have been a year.
06:03That's a really long time.
06:04That's when a favor that you did
06:06turns into now somebody's taking advantage of you.
06:09It's easy to sit on somebody's spare bedroom
06:11or their couch and not pay rent
06:13or just pay a fraction of the money
06:14that that household requires.
06:16You got to put your foot down
06:17and say, hey, it's been long enough.
06:19It's not like I'm trying to kick you out next week,
06:21but we need a game plan.
06:23There's never going to be enough time either
06:25because whatever time you kick them out,
06:28whatever deadline, it's going to be done.
06:29They're going to be like,
06:30oh, well, you're just trying to kick me out.
06:32Like, yo, I gave you a deadline.
06:34But if they get mail at your house,
06:36then you can't evict them.
06:38Like, you can't put them out.
06:40You have to go through the process.
06:41You got to go through a legal process.
06:42You have to give them ample time.
06:43Yeah.
06:44And he's dirty too.
06:45Right.
06:46That's not cool.
06:47Now you're a dirtbag.
06:47Now you're just used to everything.
06:48That's even worse, all right?
06:50Out the 813, it says,
06:51this one's for Orlando.
06:52I am a single mom of four boys
06:54with a very busy schedule.
06:56I chose to be celibate for the past three years.
06:58I'm ready to start dating again.
07:00Where do I begin?
07:02Oh, wow.
07:02Good for you.
07:03Been celibate for three years?
07:04Three years and has four kids.
07:07Ooh.
07:07Reset.
07:08Okay, well, don't sneeze.
07:11What?
07:12I'm saying that.
07:13You don't explode.
07:16Where do you begin?
07:17I mean, begin slowly.
07:19Like, just, you know, I know your mind has said you're ready.
07:22Your body has told you you're ready.
07:25You know, so now you just got to pick carefully
07:28because there are people out there
07:29who might not take your three-year sabbatical
07:32and treat it with as much care as you would.
07:34You don't want to just, you know, I look at it as this.
07:37You've reclaimed something in three years.
07:40Whether it's your lack of being attached
07:43to somebody else, codependency, whatever.
07:46You've claimed something and reclaimed it.
07:48And you walk out there and just give it to some dude
07:50and you're going to lose it.
07:52You know what I'm saying?
07:52So give it to somebody who's worth it
07:54instead of just handing it away.
07:56It's like, you know, eating healthy for three years
07:59and all of a sudden you go out on some bender
08:00and gain all the weight back.
08:02So don't gain, and the weight here is emotional baggage,
08:06is drama, is him and his baby mama
08:09and his side pieces and all that.
08:11So pick very carefully.
08:13That's what I will say.
08:14Pick carefully.
08:15Don't be in a rush now.
08:16Now that you've opened the door,
08:18somebody's going to come through,
08:19but don't just rush out and be like,
08:21hey, this is a coochie party.
08:22Like, don't just go, don't do that.
08:24Don't do that.
08:25Be selected.
08:26Pace yourself and select the person
08:28because you've basically purified yourself out.
08:30It's like you went on one of those cleanses.
08:33You've cleansed yourself out of everything.
08:35So watch what you throw in there now.
08:36I think that that's great.
08:38I totally agree.
08:38I think it's great, the term coochie party.
08:42That just naturally flew out of his mouth.
08:44You know, you know what I mean?
08:45Especially with your suit and tie on.
08:49It sounded brilliant.
08:50We're so proud of you.
08:51Oh my God.
08:54I got one for you guys.
08:55This is for the room.
08:56Okay.
08:56So my daughter was able to access
08:58some extremely graphic images.
09:00A boy in our classroom told her
09:01to Google a certain word.
09:02She did it from my laptop
09:04and she was supposed to be doing
09:06a school lesson only to use my computer
09:09with no filters
09:09because the school computer was broken.
09:12My question is,
09:13how do I explain these things to her?
09:15Because what she saw was pretty bad.
09:18Did it say the age?
09:19No, there's no age says.
09:20I simply, it was highly inappropriately.
09:24I had to shut down the internet for a while.
09:26You can't take back what they saw.
09:30Yeah, you can't, but you know,
09:32you just got to tell them
09:33that certain things are for certain ages.
09:35Like you're not going to understand that
09:36until you get older.
09:37Push it that way.
09:39Like, you know, because I mean,
09:40my daughter Googled something
09:42basically from somebody.
09:43Like said, hey, Google this and everything.
09:47And I got a phone call from my mama saying,
09:48oh my God, I went in there
09:50and she was looking at her.
09:51Right.
09:52You know what I'm saying?
09:52So it's like, you just have to tell them like,
09:54hey, some stuff you see on the internet
09:55is not for you.
09:57And it's, you're too young to understand.
10:00You know, there's some stuff
10:01that married people do.
10:03I'm sure those people on that video were married.
10:05Oh yeah, try to fluff it up a little bit.
10:08So you don't even need to discuss that
10:10until you get married.
10:11She loved both of those boys.
10:12That was called a love, love rollercoaster.
10:18Right.
10:19It was like, rollercoaster of love.
10:21Is there a conversation in this to be had
10:24about like cybersecurity,
10:26about not clicking random links
10:28that somebody sends you or something?
10:30Because I think that probably should be part of it too,
10:32no?
10:32Yeah.
10:33Or do it the other way and just lie.
10:36Because some parents,
10:37some parents out there lie well
10:39and you have her show you what she saw
10:42and you're like,
10:43you've tapped into somebody's bad internet.
10:46That's, no, that's not for you.
10:48And just do it that way and say,
10:50oh, this was a mistake.
10:51That's not supposed to be out there.
10:52So we're not going to talk about sex at any moment
10:54or have the conversation now?
10:55Because we don't know how old she is.
10:56Right, okay.
10:57So I mean, if you tell us the age,
10:59then that depends on how much information you get them.
11:02You don't want to be the honest parent
11:03that's giving all that honesty at six.
11:05Yeah.
11:05You know what I'm saying?
11:06That's too much honesty right there.
11:09At about 11, yeah, go ahead and give them,
11:11tear off the band-aid then.
11:12But at six, yeah, Elmo's tripping.
11:17A little too much.
11:18Meredith, we got one for you.
11:19It says,
11:20how do I convince my wife to get a boob job
11:23when she was already not for it
11:25but was considering it when her friend got one done?
11:28However, her friend is now constantly complaining
11:30about the pain from the results
11:32and they don't look symmetrical.
11:34Granted, it's only been two weeks.
11:36Oh, yeah.
11:36You got to wait till they drop
11:37and you have to massage them.
11:39There's a lot of things that have to happen.
11:41Okay.
11:42Well, if you're going to go on this path,
11:44buckle up, my friend,
11:45because you could get some blowback, basically.
11:47And then she might have some self-confidence issues,
11:49like you don't like her body the way it is now.
11:51So be prepared for all the backlash
11:54if she doesn't seem interested.
11:56But you are in luck because she was interested before.
12:00I would kind of bring it up again
12:03and be like, hey, was your friend asking,
12:05was she saying she didn't like them?
12:07Start there.
12:08And then slowly go like,
12:10well, what do you think about you eventually doing that?
12:12Make it all about her.
12:14And then I would say definitely go to a different doctor
12:16if she's not happy.
12:17This is where honesty gets bad.
12:20Because see, you guys,
12:21remember you asked like,
12:21how do I look in this outfit?
12:23Do I look fat in this outfit?
12:24I want to know if I look fat in this outfit.
12:25Right.
12:25You totally want to know,
12:26but you don't want to know from your man who you love.
12:28Yeah.
12:28You don't.
12:29And I think the honesty of her saying she wanted it,
12:34you now have to like goad her into it without pushing.
12:38Right.
12:38Because you don't want to make her feel bad.
12:40Different avenue.
12:40But you do want to support her and say,
12:42hey, just, you know,
12:44I know you were interested in that
12:45and you wanted some info on it.
12:46I got you some more with these guys
12:49because I heard people talking about it at the office.
12:51I don't know if you care about this.
12:52And toss it down.
12:53And then walk away.
12:54Because you don't want to act like it's all about that.
12:57Right.
12:57Like, baby,
12:58and keep telling her,
12:59baby,
13:00I love you like you are.
13:01Right.
13:01Your body is fantastic.
13:02Right.
13:02And even though you're looking at her chest like,
13:05yo,
13:05I really want them bigger.
13:06Mm-hmm.
13:07But don't say that.
13:09Ever.
13:09Don't ever be that honest with her.
13:12If she looks fat in that outfit,
13:14don't be that honest in that outfit.
13:16Like, just,
13:17there's some times that love and honesty don't go together.
13:21Well, you need to sugarcoat things.
13:22There's a way to say things the right way.
13:24It's like, babe,
13:25I knew you was interested in that thing
13:26and she had that whack doctor that had her all hurt and stuff.
13:29Mm-hmm.
13:29So I brought these flyers from some people at the office
13:32that was talking about it.
13:33I don't know if you care about it.
13:34All right, I'm going to the gym.
13:35Oh, my God.
13:35And walk away.
13:36Do not do that.
13:37Yeah.
13:37I got some flyers.
13:39Babe, you have breasts.
13:41Ew.
13:42Matter of fact,
13:42I heard them at the office talking about it.
13:44I'm like,
13:44I don't want to have that conversation.
13:46I only talk about biddies and pitties with my lady.
13:49Use your friend as the outlet.
13:50I just think trying to convince someone,
13:53if it's your wife,
13:53it's your girl,
13:54if it's a friend,
13:55trying to convince somebody to get a boob job in itself
13:57is you're traveling up a slippery slope.
13:59But she brought it up.
14:00She was down already.
14:01But maybe she was down because she knew he wanted it.
14:05So maybe she was just kind of playing that game.
14:07Okay.
14:07Nah, I'll think about it.
14:08Because he said,
14:09yeah, she didn't want it.
14:10And then she was considering it.
14:11So maybe she was considering it because she was considering him.
14:14Yeah, but you don't know what goes in our mind.
14:16I mean,
14:16we think about this plastic surgery all the time.
14:18But if you wanted to do it,
14:19you would do it.
14:19Not necessarily.
14:20It's expensive.
14:21I don't think,
14:21no,
14:21I don't think you need convincing.
14:23You don't need somebody to push you into that direction.
14:26There have been many things that I've done
14:27after I've seen a friend do it first.
14:29Because I'm like,
14:30yo,
14:30I want to make sure you don't die.
14:32All right,
14:33you cool?
14:34All right.
14:34And then,
14:34so I'm sure she's waiting to see,
14:36like when you said,
14:36when it drops.
14:37Yeah,
14:37give it three to six months.
14:39The muscle does what it's supposed to do.
14:40Yeah.
14:40Like I saw somebody the other day,
14:41we know,
14:42they got like an operation with the Brazilian butt lift.
14:45Yeah.
14:46Tummy tuck,
14:46snatching and yanking and all that stuff.
14:48Bitching.
14:49And honestly,
14:49I couldn't watch any of it
14:51because the person's been doing updates online.
14:53Yes.
14:54For everybody,
14:54which I don't even know why that's going to happen.
14:55I appreciate updates and it looks good.
14:57But sometimes it doesn't look good.
14:59I don't like to see all of the like drainage
15:01and the stuff
15:02and all of the like bandages.
15:04And I'm like,
15:05who wants to see this?
15:06Like show me the finished product.
15:08I don't want to see all the bruising
15:10and you talking about all that.
15:12Like some people need to see that
15:13before they move forward.
15:15Make the decision.
15:15Yeah.
15:16But I ain't one of the people.
15:18You know,
15:18so I think with this,
15:20she didn't want to know them
15:21and she didn't want to know
15:22how the sausage was made.
15:23Right.
15:23She wants to see the end result.
15:24Exactly.
15:25So concentrate on the end result.
15:27Say,
15:27babe,
15:27if you want that,
15:28that's good for you.
15:29But other than that,
15:30you know,
15:30you're perfect.
15:31Yeah.
15:31And that's a great word.
15:32Perfect.
15:33Your body is perfect.
15:34Your body is perfect.
15:36There's many dudes who are out there
15:37who have said that
15:38and honestly,
15:38they was lying.
15:39Oh my God.
15:40Because they,
15:41because,
15:41but no,
15:43no,
15:43no,
15:43but it's only a lie
15:44because you left off two words.
15:45Perfect for me.
15:47Uh huh.
15:48Now you're lying to me,
15:49to my face.
15:50No,
15:50perfect for me.
15:51You're perfect for me.
15:52I married you.
15:53You mine.
15:53You got the key codes
15:54and all that stuff.
15:55You perfect for me.
15:56You're not perfect,
15:57but you're perfect for me.
15:58But I ain't gonna say for me
15:59because that's gonna make you
16:00feel some type of way.
16:00So baby,
16:01you're perfect.
16:03Space,
16:03space.
16:04Dot,
16:04dot.
16:04There we go.
16:06All right.
16:06It's a wrap.
16:07Therapy Thursday is done.